A/N: "JK" Rowling is so on my bad list right now. More than usual. So, because Hermione and Ron "would have needed marriage counseling", they're bad for each other and Harry can just swoop in? Hm. I'm pretending her announcement was that Hermione and Draco have amazing sex, Harry finally comes out, and Ron is a happy bachelor who entertains hot ladies from Hogwarts by night and by day is a super Dad with Rose and Hugo. And maybe Astoria and Ginny can play pinnacle together or something. Also, thanks for the feedback/favs/alerts. You people are all spectacular.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Hard Knock Life

..

"Draco! You look positively angst-ridden!" Pansy announced loudly as soon as I dropped into the seat opposite her and Blaise. "What's the matter?"

I shrugged, grabbing a menu off the table to hide my pink face. There was no way I was going to regale them with the story of how I'd just lost my erection whilst shagging my Muggle-born hatesex fuck buddy. Even though Granger had actually been quite nice about it, I needed to lick my wounds for awhile. "Nothing is the matter," I responded coolly. "So what is good here? It all still looks like utter shit. I thought they changed the menu. Last time we were here, the steak I had was tolerable at best and the salad dressing had issues—"

"DRACO!" Pansy barked and grabbed the menu out of my hands. "I can read you like a book. Besides, my mother met up with your mother and your mother told my mother Lucius finally wrote from Azkaban. So, SPILL it. You know, you really don't have to bottle up your feelings. It's going to kill you in the end if you do! Come on, you can talk to Blaise and me! Are you depressed? Are beside yourself with woe? Are you truly suicidal or just faking again to get attention? You know I can't stand when you do that! COME ON! Is it about Lucius!?"

I thought about this for a moment and then nodded slowly. "Yes, yes, I believe I am extremely upset about my father. I just miss him so much, you know?" I faked a look of longing and stared darkly off into the distance.

"I KNEW IT!" she declared, and jostled Blaise. "Didn't I say it, Blaise? Didn't I say Draco was likely hiding his true feelings about his father's imprisonment?"

Blaise groaned and pulled something out of his cloak. Pansy grabbed it. Before I had time to ask what the hell they'd exchanged, Pansy went on theatrically: "You must be SO embarrassed. What did he say? Did you write him back? How is prison? I'm sure it's dreadful! Oh, I've been a terrible friend, Draco. Let me buy you lunch today to make up for it!"

"You've never once asked me how I'm feeling about my father being in Azkaban Prison and now you expect to buy me lunch once to make up for it?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Honestly, I'd been happy about my friends' silence regarding my father's prison sentence, but I'd rather get lots of sympathy and several free meals than simply one lunch at a shitty diner.

Pansy looked a bit befuddled. "Why, yes! I think that's enough! Now, order anything you want." I grumbled at her. "You look like aren't sleeping. Again. There are hideous circles under your eyes. Your hair is all a mess. It's not fetching, darling! Do we need to get you laid?"

Blaise chortled, crossing his arms. "Yes, Draco, you'll be quite interested to hear our news about Astoria—"

I was just about to demand answers when a young witch with blue hair came over to take our order. I went last, surveying the menu scrupulously but coming up with nothing that really sounded appetizing. At this point, all I wanted was to lie in bed in total darkness and ask the universe what it was about me that seemed to invoke such harsh punishment from the cosmos.

When it was my turn to order, I smirked at the waitress. "Excuse me, but are the potatoes fried in truffle oil or common grease? Is the soup made freshly everyday? Do you really expect me to believe a regular restaurant in Diagon Alley of all places really makes all of its own bread? Are the cows grass-fed or…oh, don't tell me they're free to roam anywhere they please, eating the grass that gnomes have surely shat in-"

"This is why I don't go out in public with you anymore," Pansy cut in and grabbed my menu away from me, tossing it on the floor. The waitress blinked. "He's going to have the Wandering Conjurer kappa burger. Bloody. With extra Stilton. A side of chips. And a pumpkin juice. And he's on my bill, please. Thank you, darling."

"Are you insane? I will absolutely not eat all of that—"

"And add a side of thick-cut bacon. Don't listen to his whining. Oh, and my Daddy owns Gringotts, not to mention several other well-known places in the area. I'd advise you to give us amazing service or else you'll be hearing from him," Pansy advised the waitress, who looked supremely irritated. If you can believe it, my lot of friends really don't elicit a positive response from the public, particularly the working class. "Could she walk any slower?" Pansy hissed as soon as the waitress was about three meters away.

I threw up my hands, infuriated. "Your father doesn't own Gringotts, you lying bitch! He owns stock in Gringotts!"

"Shut up, Draco. It's the same bloody thing! Anyway, I'm so glad you could make it! I've missed you, which is terribly odd. DON'T get any ideas. I think I just miss your desolate shenanigans. It's fun to see your face when you fail. And where's my Christmas present? Honestly, I've been waiting so patiently!"

Shit. I warped my expression into a solemn look of contemplation. "You'll see," I said mysteriously.

"Ooooh, goodie!" squealed Pansy. "It has to be good!"

I gave her a knowing smirk, though inside I was hoping I'd be hit with a great idea when back at school. I really couldn't keep Pansy waiting much longer. "So, what's this about Astoria?" I asked.

Pansy crossed her arms over her gargantuan tits. "Are you seriously not going to ask me how MY break was?"

"I wasn't planning on it," I said delicately. I turned to Blaise. "How was your break? Did you successfully masquerade as a heterosexual?"

Blaise fixed me with a saucy smile. "Oh, Draco, you can't even imagine how heterosexual I was. I wore an awful Christmas jumper, scuffed-up boots and talked about pussies and tits at the dinner table—"

"How very persuasive," I said snidely. "And I'm sure you also memorized Quidditch facts and slapped people on the back and other things that only real men do, since you know ever so much about being manly, Blaise—"

"Oh stop it, Draco! He was very good at it, better than you'll ever be. Ms. Zabini's boyfriend was completely on board. They're going Hippogriff hunting Easter break," snapped Pansy.

"Yes, though I might fall ill that week," said Blaise miserably, already looking a bit green around the gills.

I broke up laughing. "That's too good. Blaise, you have to go! You just have to! I'm counting on you to bring me back a head. That way I can bring it to Hagrid and tell him I found his long-lost chicken!" I was already feeling loads better, and my mood improved drastically when the waitress brought over our food.

"WELL, I finally got a date with Marcus Flint!" Pansy suddenly shouted, causing me to choke on a chip. "He's agreed to meet me for coffee and he ALREADY booked me for Valentine's Day! A Valentine's Day with Marcus Flint! All my dreams have come true!"

This day was getting better and better. I sneered. "Your dreams!? Pansy, since when have your dreams involved dating a mountain troll?"

Pansy scowled and reached over the table to shove my shoulder. "I've fancied him since we were firsties, Draco! You know that! And he is NOT a mountain troll! He's dreamy! AND I've heard rumors that his cock is as big as my arm!"

"Well, yes, because he's a mountain troll!" I snickered loudly, clapping my hands.

"You're just jealous because your dick is nowhere near that big! YOU WISH YOU WERE MARCUS FLINT! You can take your skinny, pale little dick and leave!" shouted Pansy. In the far corner of the empty pub, the waitress was scowling at us for some reason.

Blaise's mouth flickered into a smug smile as he took a bite of his baked pumpkin.

My eyes became frosty slits. "I don't know what you're so pleased about, Blaise. I've thankfully never seen you in action but I've seen you in the shower which is enough to know I've got you beat!"

"Blaise may be small soft but he gets huge when he's erect so you can shut your big mouth, Draco and stop sneering like a little bitch!" Pansy screamed. Blaise's eyes widened a bit and he nudged her shoulder.

"How do you know—" My eyes flicked back and forth, surveying Blaise and Pansy's sheepish expressions. "Oh good fucking Salazar Slytherin. You two boffed over the break, didn't you? Didn't you?" I snorted and dissolved into laughter. "How perfect! The trollop and the uphill gardener! Now I've seen everything!"

Pansy turned red while Blaise pulled on his collar. "Don't say anything, Draco," he begged. "My reputation in the Snake Pit would falter and I'd be cast aside like sweltering fake gay garbage! It was an accident—"

"OY!" Pansy said with fire in her eyes, "It was no accident, you tit!"

Blaise glared at her. "Aside from the blow job incident, which was ALSO your FAULT, I was a gold star faggot and then YOU told me we should shag in the room next to my mother's to make the whole thing more realistic!"

"You weren't convincing him! You were failing miserably! It was me who helped you pass as straight! You should be THANKING ME!" Pansy screeched. They began to engage in a slapping fight.

"So tell me, Miss Parkinson," I interrupted in an announcer's voice as though we were doing a prestigious interview for the Crystal Ball segment of the Wizards On Parade programme's Notable Witches hour, "how does it feel now having slept with every wizard who attends Hogwarts School?"

Blaise burst into sniggers.

"I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL!" she shouted.

I smirked, cutting my burger in half with fork and knife. "Well, everyone except for the eternal virgins of the school. Crabbe, Goyle, and Longbottom don't count, Pans. I don't think Longbottom could even get his dick in a girl's twat unless he fell on top of her. Can you imagine?" I lifted my arms as if I were wobbling and imitated Longbottom's Yorkshire brogue: "Oh—oh—sorry-sorry—oh no! Aaaah!"

Pansy went redder than I had ever seen. "I'd never touch any of them with a twenty meter broom!" she hissed.

"Can you imagine any girl pitying Longbottom enough to give him a fuck?" I went on. "I bet you anything his prick leans to the left. Bet you he jerks off with a potted plant at night, crying because he'll never know a woman's touch—"

"Can we change the subject now? PLEASE?" Pansy yelled, crossing her arms in anger. I had no idea what her bloody problem was. Likely she was annoyed she hadn't morphed Blaise into a full-blown practicing hetero.

Blaise grinned. "I've got just the thing. I have to admit to you, Draco, you've been very active over break unbeknownst to yourself."

"I have no idea what that even means, Blaise. Care to elaborate?" I asked crisply, finishing half of my burger. It was actually fairly decent but there was no way I'd admit that to Pansy.

"It was my turn to prank someone and given that the numbers are uneven, I was forced to choose someone in another year so I chose Astoria Greengrass. Every day of break, Astoria has received chocolates, letters and flowers from me," Blaise stated coolly, pausing to take a sip of his pumpkin milkshake.

I snorted. "You really are taking this heterosexual thing to heart, aren't you?"

"I signed everything with your name," he replied.

"My name ?" I declared, and slapped the table. "How dare you! What are you trying to do, ruin my life?! The prank wasn't on me!"

Pansy and Blaise began scream with laughter in unison. It suddenly struck me that they were sort-of the perfect couple, in a majorly fucked up type way. "But Draco, you do have a crush on her so I was trying to do you a favor! Has she replied?" asked Blaise, fluttering his eyelashes innocently.

"No, thank You-Know-Who! And I do NOT have a crush on her! She's an underdeveloped, stupid little twit with a blasé personality," I told them in a strong voice, pounding my knife on the table.

"Awww, Draco! I know you so well! You don't just like her! You're in love with her!" Pansy beamed. "That's so sweet! I can't wait to see her response! And might I say, a younger girl is perfect for you! Easier for you to manipulate and tell off-"

"Yes, I'll tell her right where to stick her cold, wormy tongue," I interjected darkly.

Pansy sighed. "You're so judgmental. Give her a few more tries before you knock her technique. I wouldn't be the kisser I am without the years of practice I had with you!"

"Don't remind me," I replied. Pansy blew me a kiss and I ducked down to avoid it. "So what do these so-called letters say anyway?"

"Oh, they're charming," Blaise smiled, folding his napkin with a flourish. "The first was an apology for being so utterly taken with her that you simply had to have her right there at King's Cross in front of everyone. The second letter went on to say that you usually don't kiss with so much tongue the first time you snog someone new but she was just too attractive and you couldn't resist. The third letter was more of a love note, I suppose. It went on and on about how much you adore her gorgeous eyes and her perfect lips—"

"GAH! I've never even noticed those things! And I'm definitely not sorry!"

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Draco, me thinks doth do protest too much."

I ignored her. After all, I should have been relieved that the accusation was that I was crushing on a Pureblood Slytherin. After all, the truth was a bit harder to admit.

We finally finished with lunch and I found myself milling about, waiting for both Pansy and Blaise who were in the loo.

"You're a Malfoy," said the waitress suddenly, throwing me a suspicious glance.

"So what?" I asked coldly, putting on my best smirk.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I know all about your family from the papers. You should be ashamed to even be seen in public what with all the trouble your father caused at the Ministry, not to mention being a known supporter of—" she seemed to choke on her words like countless other spineless people I'd encountered. She cleared her throat. "Anyway, you should be ashamed!"

"I am ashamed," I began and paused. She gave me a surprised look. "…to be seen at a shite place like this eating sub par food and listening to drivel from ugly, dim-witted people like you, you pigheaded bint."

Her eyes darkened and her face turned red. "You know, you're not so tough without your loud, vulgar friends and you'd be even less tough without your trust fund!" she said in a bitter voice I didn't really like.

"Well—" I began, "You'd be—you be…" I trailed off but continued to leer at her as I sped out of the restaurant, slamming the door behind me. Once outside, I kept walking. Between my father, my erectile problems and my idiotic friends posing as me to Astoria, I was back in a foul mood and nothing was going to hold me back from angsting now.

. . .

"Mister Malfoy! Mister Malfoy!"

"Ugh, WHAT?" I exploded, looking up from my notebook where I'd been drawing a comic about Dementors eating Potter's soul as if it were a pudding.

Professor McGonagall, also known as "old bird", pursed her lips and glared down at me. I suppose I'd been so engaged in my drawing that I hadn't noticed her cross to the back of the classroom where I was trying to remain unseen. "You would do well to put away your—er—art? And instead focus on my lecture. There is going to be a quiz tomorrow and I do not think I need to remind you of your score on the last exam—"

"FINE!" I shouted, and my classmates laughed nervously. I'd been having one of THOSE weeks again. Homework was insanely abundant, professors were breathing down my neck constantly, and the Vanishing Cabinet seemed to have broken itself whilst I was on break. I put a shoe inside it and it came back with a huge chunk out of it! How does that even happen?! As much as I detested my aunt and the rest of the Death Eaters who were waiting to burst into Hogwarts, I really did not want to explain if they appeared with great hunks missing off their bodies. Instead of studying for my stupid classes, I ended up in the Room of Requirement for much of the week. If I had a choice between pleasing Old Bird and the rest of the talentless teachers at this dumb school or completing my task so that a noseless, undead mastermind didn't kill me and my family… Well, come on! It's obvious why I wasn't so invested in school at the moment!

"Malfoy! Malfoy! Malfoy, do you need me to clean out your ears with a spell or are you feigning deafness?" came McGonagall's awful voice.

I threw down my quill. "What do you want me to say? I get it! I'll listen! Now can you please stop talking to me?"

"Ooh, Mister Malfoy, I have half a mind to grab your head of house right now—"

"Go ahead," I replied. "No one's stopping you, are they?" I wasn't afraid of Snape. He was probably still on about his underpants.

McGonagall sighed and removed her glasses, pushing a strand of her long, black hair behind her ear. "Malfoy, I'm really not trying to battle with you here. You've generally been very on the ball and I want you to succeed this year as it is pertinent you get a Meets Expectations at least. And that is just to move on. If you're invested in a career, you'd need an Exceeds Expectations!"

"Career!" scoffed Weasley. "That lazy, rich git with a career! Now I've heard everything—"

"SILENCE, Weasley, for I am your head of house and I will take away points on the spot if necessary!" huffed McGonagall. But I didn't need her to defend me. What did I care? Weasley was right. I didn't want a sodding career. I wanted everyone to stop being idiotic and leave me the hell alone.

"Professor!" chirped a high voice from the front row. I instantly snapped my head up. Granger was waving her hand around. "Professor, please. If Malfoy is willing, I can help him study this chapter tonight to help prepare him for the quiz! I don't mind!"

The classroom was suddenly a whirlwind of noise. Potter and Weasley were jabbering at Granger loudly, Pansy was shrieking with laughter, Finnigan was yelling something in Irish-language I couldn't quite understand, and Longbottom fell off his chair and had to have Thomas right him again.

McGonagall clapped her hands. "Silence!" she shouted. "Miss Granger, that is not your duty but I have to say, Mister Malfoy, you'd be a fool not to take that offer."

"Ahhhhh," I whined in what I hoped was a convincing imitation of what my reaction would have been prior to having amazing sex with Granger. "Fine, fine, fine, I'll DO it!"

Granger flashed me a small smile and I sneered back at her. Obviously, she had sex on her mind, too and she was going to give me a pick-me-up. At the end of the lesson, we stiffly agreed to meet in the library. Potter and Weasley shot me dangerous looks but I didn't care. I was going to get laid!

. . .

"She'd better not get the wrong idea," I hissed over tea in the Great Hall. "Granger and I were a one-shot deal. She's completely dead to me. I'm just using her to get a good score."

Pansy seemed a bit preoccupied with the Gryffindor table, but looked away when I raised my eyebrows at her. "Draco, you don't have to tell me that. I'm confident you can do much better than a Mudblood. Just think. You could be having regular sex with someone and not have to hide," she whispered into my ear, and nudged me.

Astoria Greengrass was looking at us curiously, half-acting like she was doing her homework. She still had not accosted me over Blaise's prank and I was beginning to think I was in the clear.

"Do you seriously want me to get with that? I thought you found her boring and priggish," I said into her ear, surveying Astoria with a jagged sneer that caused her to go red. I groaned aloud.

"She's cute, in a stupid way. And she's been staring at you all the time. Daphne forgives you—the entire family found your romantic gestures very becoming—"

"Blech," I said, rolling my eyes. "They're all tedious snobby sacks of dull. And Astoria's hardly on my level—"

"She's young and naïve, and you gave her a taste…" She paused dramatically. "Now she wants more." Pansy sighed happily. "Ah, I love when innocent people go rotten. I want to see you completely ruin her. Steal her virginity and break her heart, like you did with Tracey! That was hysterical! I want to see you chew her up and spit her out. And I can watch and laugh from the sidelines."

"You're the worst bitch I've ever met," I said approvingly and mussed up her hair. "Right, so I'm off to bore myself to tears. Don't wait up for me, Pans."

"Have fun with Granger," she said loudly and slapped my arse.

Oh, I will, I thought as I got up and left the table. Astoria suddenly looked up and cast me a shy smile. "Goodbye, Malfoy," she said in a small voice.

"Farewell," I said off-handedly in a grumble.

Astoria and her gaggle of fourth year friends burst into giggles. I made a face and ran toward the library as quickly as I could.

Immediately, I located Granger surrounded by books, quills and papers at one of the study tables in the middle of the library. Grinning, I dropped in across from her and tried to catch my breath.

"You look like you just ran a marathon," she said, throwing me an amused expression.

"Some fourth year has feelings for me. I had to get out of there as quickly as I could," I explained to her, my eyes surveying her body as my breathing slowed to a normal rate. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her robes were loosely fastened, giving me a small view of her breasts which left my mouth watering for more.

She looked up again casually from her note-writing. "Who's that?"

"Oh, this stupid girl you probably wouldn't know. Astoria Greengrass. Daphne's younger sister. Imagine Daphne with less of a chest and even fewer brain cells-"

"I know Astoria! I tutored her in Ancient Runes! She's not stupid, Draco. She's actually quite talented—"

I sighed. "I don't mean her schoolwork, I mean her personality! She's a complete social idiot, shy and giggly—"

"Well, come on. You did kiss her before Christmas break," Granger said, giving me a Look.

I stared back at her, somewhat stunned. "You saw that? I thought you left before—" I stopped talking at once. "Er. I didn't think you saw. Jealous, Granger?" I inquired, flashing her a dashing smile.

"Sh, not so loud!" she exclaimed, looking around but obviously no one else was around us because who hangs out in the library on a perfectly good Thursday evening?! "I think the entire platform saw. The noises you were making were positively animalistic. Anyway, you shouldn't go around kissing people, especially younger girls, if you don't want them to end up fancying you. Even if the kiss was more distressing than passionate."

"I can't help that I'm attractive. Honestly, it's a big problem. Girls swoon over me and I can't get away—"

"So why kiss her?" Granger asked pointedly. "If you think she's so stupid, so far below you, why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to!" I said instantly, my ears going pink. "Do I really need a reason?"

Granger tossed her quill down. "That's really why you did it? Because you wanted to? That doesn't even make sense! You just said you didn't like her!"

"I abhor her!" I announced loudly and Granger shushed me. I glared and went on talking in a whisper: "I don't see why you're making such an enormous deal out of this if you're not jealous—"

"It's the logic of it, Draco! There is none, and that annoys me! You don't like her? Don't kiss her. You don't like her and you still kiss her? Fine. Not surprising for you, actually. But don't sit here moaning about your life and how poor Astoria suddenly fancies you as though you had absolutely nothing to do with it!"

"Do you want me to be honest?"

Hermione smiled at me tight-lipped. "Nothing would shock me more."

I sneered back at her. "I kissed Astoria Greengrass to see if you were as heartless as you make yourself out to be. It seemed like you didn't notice but you just admitted you did. So. Ha!"

"Ha to me?" Granger said with a laugh. "How about ha to yourself? YOU just admitted you would kiss a girl in front of me to see if I was jealous! Not to mention, you did the same thing with Parkinson. I think you have more on your mind than simply doing just as you please—"

"No, no, no," I scoffed, desperately attempting to keep my cool. "You wish I did all that for you. Now, I'm bored of this conversation. Where do you want to go?"

She looked confused. "What do you mean?"

I snickered. "Oh, come on. You volunteered to help me 'study'—" I did air quotes—". "So let's get down to business." My eyes trailed her torso. "I want to grab you by your hair and rip your robes right off you, Granger—"

"Wait!" she said, waving her arms around. "I wasn't implying anything by that offer! I was actually offering to help you study, which is why I've brought all of my recent Transfigurations papers. Obviously, you can't expect me to right you in one night, but I can get you on the right track! With my help, you'll at least pass the quiz tomorrow!" she said cheerily.

"You. Actually. Wanted. To. Help. Me. Study?!" I croaked, my eyes growing wide. "If I wanted to study, I'd do it on my own! The fact is, I don't want to! I'm so finished with this stupid school and I really just do not care—"

"But, Draco," Hermione said, and there was a bit of a waver in her voice, "You've always cared about learning! It's important to you and your family! I know how much your father pressures you about your grades—"

"Yes, and now he's in prison! You're so immature that you don't see that there are things BIGGER than grades in the works here!"

"And what does that mean, exactly?" Granger snarled. "Are you in possession of some sort of information?"

"No," I responded abruptly. "What makes you say that?"

"You don't care about your grades, you look like you never sleep, that whole necklace thing happened, and Harry says he constantly sees you wandering the corridors these days! Is something going on?"

"Necklace thing?" I burst out, paling. She was referring to this past October, when I gave this idiot Gryffindor Katie Bell a cursed necklace to take to Dumble-bore. But, like everyone at this pathetic school, she didn't listen to my command and the entire charade was fucked, putting me back at the drawing board. Professor Snape told me I'd mucked it up, but I didn't know it was still on Granger's radar. Fuck, the Dream Team was a bit more perceptive than I gave them credit for. I knew they were all nosy little tools but I had absolutely no idea they were so on the money. I'd have to be much more vigilant now. Constant vigilance! (That phrase was the only good thing that came of "Moody", I swear!) "I have no idea what you're talking about, and if Potter thinks I'm always wandering the corridors, doesn't it follow that Potter is always wandering the corridors?"

She sighed loudly. "You have a point but still! I'm always the first to tell him it's probably nothing, and so if you've got some dark secret you'd better get it out, Malfoy."

"Dark secret? Beyond shagging you? That's all I can handle in dark secrets right now, thank you," I lied quickly.

"You're not a Death Eater, are you?" she said in a joking voice.

I stared at her.

"Malfoy?" she asked, and gave a nervous laugh.

"Absolutely not, are you serious?" I demanded with a fake laugh. "You've seen my arm, Granger. I don't have a Dark Mark. Besides, I don't so much care for organized groups." Internally, I was screaming. Fortunately, the day when I was supposed to get my Dark Mark, they'd run out of the special Dark Mark ink in the middle of giving me my tattoo, resulting in a very painful scab that healed a few months into school. But I was scheduled to go back before my eighteenth birthday. The tattoo, in my opinion, was the best part but imagine explaining that to Father...

"Okay," she shrugged. I sighed in relief. "So, let's get to work. You need to get up your grade and get back on track. If nothing else, think about your parents. They care about you. The least you can do is keep your marks high."

"Just this once," I said testily. "But don't expect me to listen or enjoy myself." I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair.

However Granger seemed unaffected. Maybe she was used to studying with people who were completely apathetic to the whole ordeal. She began to babble on and on about all of her notes, papers and the chapter we were supposed to be studying and she convinced me to show her my pop quiz (which to be honest was more of a doodle about how much I hated Transfigurations, complete with McGonagall in cat form getting screwed from behind by a tomcat). Granger marked up my most recent essay and gave me tips on studying. By the end of it, nearly an hour and a half had gone by and I actually felt far more prepared for the exam.

The lights in the library dimmed and I yawned. "Right, well, that was great fun," I said sarcastically. "Thanks for nothing, Granger." But the small smile and eyebrow raise I gave her told her everything she needed to know.

"I hope you do well. And I can help you anytime. I love studying," she chattered, gathering her belongings and shoving them into her book bag which was filled to the brim.

"See you in class," I said with a nod.

"Malfoy—"

"What?"

"No one's here," Granger said softly.

"I have eyes, Granger. I see that," I chortled. "But I have a strong feeling if I were to shove you down on this desk and try to shag you, you'd lecture me about disturbing the literature!"

"Yes, but—you could kiss me goodbye. If you wanted," she said, a bit uncomfortably.

"Oh." I forced a self-assured facial expression. "Right. Well—I don't usually—"

"Right," she said, slinging her enormous bag over her shoulder. "Forget I said that, sorry—" She put her head down (likely because her bag was forcing her into horrible posture) and made to hurry by me but I caught her by the wrist, tugged her toward me and snogged her hard on the mouth.

A muffled moan came through her lips as she pushed her hands through my hair. I seized her waist and kissed her deeper. I grunted as she tugged my bangs and kissed the corner of my mouth. "So, where can I take you?" I said in a deep, quiet voice, squeezing her hips. I was already going hard.

"Not tonight, Malfoy," she replied a bit breathlessly. "I've got loads more I need to do." I started to whine and she slapped her hand over my mouth. "But," she went on, "meet me tomorrow at nine o'clock at night at the prefect baths. Knock three times. I'll let you in." she pecked me on the cheek and scurried off.

"But—ugh," I protested as I watched her disappear. "But… it's up! It's up this time! It's up!" I shouted. I hung my head and sighed. "It's up," I said sadly, to no one. There was no sodding way I was going to walk all the way up to the dorms and then possibly have to wait longer to deal with my erection. It looked like this was going to be another lonely night with a toilet and Moaning Myrtle's muffled breathing.