Dean woke before his brother and walked stiffly into the bathroom to shower and last night came flooding back to him. Dean wanted it but giving that last part of himself to Sam meant that he owned everything. He hurt but as he rationalized it last night it was Sam so it was a good hurt, it made it ok.

Dean showered and walked out of the bathroom, Sam was still asleep on his stomach, snoring softly with his lips slightly open. Dean touched his hair that was fanned out across the pillow then ran his hand down his brother's back and stopping at his bottom, Dean massaged one of the firm cheeks in his hand.

Sam made a little happy noise in his sleep. Dean pinched him but Sam still didn't wake up, "Come on Sam I'm hungry I need breakfast." A grin started on Dean's face, he raised his hand and came down with a resounding slap on Sam's cheek.

Sam rolled over and sat up fumbling for a gun that wasn't there, Dean was sitting on the bed laughing at him. Then Sam remembered where he was, glad he wasn't in some shithole shooting something horrible. "Jesus Dean I could have shot you, I was have a dream I was hunting something."

Dean was putting on his shoes, "That must have been when I was rubbing your ass, geez Sammy what do you dream about, monsters screwing you or something?" Dean threw Sam a shirt, "Get dressed birthday boy I need to eat."

Dean walked Sam over to the garden by the hedge maze they could see from the room balcony, there was a table set up just for them with fresh flowers. One of the staff came over with coffee, champagne flutes and a pitcher of mimosa. The waiter brought over breakfast for them, pancakes with strawberries, fresh whipped cream and syrup for Sam and a huge omelet with bacon for Dean. The waiter smiled, "The mimosa is our compliments to the happy couple." He turned and walked away.

"Wow seriously Dean this is incredible, am I worth all this just for a birthday?" Dean started to cut his omelet suddenly finding it the most interesting thing in the world, "Next birthday I might not see you Sammy with school and new friends and the distance. Might as well go out with a bang right?" Sam cut some pancake and scooped up a strawberry with cream, he held the fork out to Dean, "Try some baby, don't be mad." Dean ate off Sam's fork and then started on his food with gusto.

They kept the conversation light, Dean finished off the pitcher of mimosa. Dean was having more coffee and he was fidgeting in his seat, "Dean what is the matter?" Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box and held it out to Sam, "Here" was all he said.

Sam opened the box and inside was a thick gold band with a single inset diamond, inside it was inscribed "Omnia Vincit Amor". Sam took it out and turned the ring in his long fingers watching the diamond catch the morning sun. " Love Conquers All, its beautiful, what does the ring mean if I take it?"

Dean was pulling at his napkin, his eyes lowered, "Its a wedding ring but since we can't get married, even if we could you are my brother so, you know it wouldn't be legal, "Dean sat back and threw down the napkin and looked at Sam, "I love you Sam, I have always loved you and I can't change how I feel. Would you be mine forever and wear that ring even at school? If you are miles away from me I'll know you have something special to remind you of us, and of that one person in the entire world that would do anything for you and loves you unconditionally."

Sam wanted to put on the ring but he was hesitant of the restrictions it would put on his new life. "Dean I have always loved you also but school will be years, you wont come with me and just having you on holidays or school break is going to hard. I can't promise I wont be with anyone else ever in all that time. I'm only eighteen, its not feasible to stay chaste for you.

Dean forced himself not to cry, tried to think of the right thing to say to Sam that would fix all this. He felt like a fool for the umpteenth time and this was the grand daddy of them all. "I just thought after last night….." Dean took a deep breath and exhaled, "that last night was special, I wouldn't let anyone else inside me except you Sammy. Can you promise me that at least, can you do the same thing?"

Sam still held the ring tight not wanting to give it back, "I can't promise that Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean put out his hand, "Its ok Sam, I can just keep the ring for someday." Sam still held it and then slipped on his right ring finger, "It fits perfectly, it would be a shame to keep it in a box. Can I wear it Dean? I promise to always wear it to remind me of my love back home, the person that has my heart."

Dean tried to smile and took Sam's hand, rubbing his thumb across the diamond, "I guess that will have to be good enough then.

Sam squeezed his brother's hand, the bright morning sun was playing cross those impossible green eyes and catching the gold in his lashes. As long as Sam could remember he loved Dean's eyes. When he woke up in the morning they were the first thing he focused on, Dean with the beautiful emerald eyes smiling down at Sam and it was his only comfort.

The hurt in those eyes was evident to Sam, he knew this would cause his brother pain but there was no other way. "Dean I'm sorry, I just have to be honest with you." Sam looked past his brother and smiled as memories flooded back. "I remember I…..I think I was five or six…another crappy motel and dad leaving us alone. I watched this old movie on TV about this beautiful lady that fell in love with a widowed rancher, at the end they got married and had a baby. I sat on your lap and said, Dee someday I'm gonna marry you and have lots of babies."

Dean had to laugh because he remembered it like yesterday, "I didn't have the heart to tell you none of those things would ever happen. It was better to let you believe it and to be honest at nine or ten years old the whole idea wasn't out of the realm of possibility to me either. I mean I knew inside it was a silly fantasy but still the thought of being able to marry you someday, have a family together and raise them like we hadn't been raised was a beautiful dream in our ugly world."

Sam sat back in his chair and looked at his brother, eyes full of tears, "Do you know I lived on that dream for years? That we could be normal and we could walk down the street together, I could steal a kiss when I wanted or hold your hand? But everything is twisted up, I'm twisted up inside Dean, you have to let me go now and do this…..school….everything but it wont kill our dreams. I love you so much but I have to breathe baby. Let me get an education and be someone important, so someday I can take care of you, take care of us together, maybe adopt and have that family."

Dean turned the silver ring on his finger trying to distract himself from his anger, "Yeah Sam so you go do that, go to school so you can be someone important, take care of your rough trade brother right? Hunting and fucking that's me right Sammy, that's what I'm good at but you go get that education and be a real normal person." Dean stood up and his chair tipped over, "Fuck you Sam….fuck you." Dean walked into the hedge maze to get away from Sam, to think.

Sam stood and followed his brother into the hedge, "I'm so sorry baby I didn't mean it like that at all please listen to me Dean." Dean walked faster and then started to run working the twists and turns trying to lose himself. It was all a play of shadows and sunbeams on the greenery and everything looked the same, Dean sat and drew up his knees, breathing hard and he couldn't catch his breath suddenly, the panic was over taking him and he started to cry.

"Please baby where are you…..Dean please say something I can't find you." Sam stopped and listened, he could faintly hear crying and he followed the sound. When he found his brother Dean was crying and trying to breath, Sam got on his knees and rocked his brother, "Its ok Dean I love you, breathe deeper you are having a panic attack." Sam stroked his face and placed his hand on Dean's chest feeling his heart beat rapidly then becoming steady.

Dean clenched his brother's jacket and buried his face breathing in the scent that was exclusively Sam. "I built my whole world around you, I did everything for you Sammy. If I let go of you what is going to be left of me?"

Sam closed his eyes and rested his chin on top of his brother's head, "I don't know baby I just don't know."

…..

Sam convinced Dean to go back to the room, they had the rest of the day and one more night left and he was going to try to make the best of it for his brother. They changed into their old comfortable clothes and went to just walk around and look in the shop windows. Sam stopped in front of a curiosity shop, the place was old and the town had built itself up around this small building that went unchanged.

Dean had been quiet just holding Sam's hand as they walked, he wasn't much for shopping but Sam seemed to like it so he went along with the day. This place actually was just what a Winchester would like, old dusty and full of useful things that to the average person would be just junk. "Dean's eyes sparkled and he actually smiled, "Sammy I want to go in here." Sam was relieved to see his old brother back, "Sure, of course Dean lets see if there is anything we can use.

A little old man was behind the old wood and glass case arranging some statues. "Well hello there gentlemen, look around, ask questions and let me know if there is anything in particular you want." Dean nodded and started to walk around, "Holy crap, Sam none if this is a knock off, its all the real deal!" Sam was examining items in the case, "How did you collect all of this, some of it is so rare and old and there are things I've never seen before."

The man stepped from behind the counter and stuck out his hand, "I'm Mister Avery, and you are….." Dean stepped forward and shook the man's hand, "I'm Dean and this is Sam." Sam shook the little man's hand next, "This place is amazing!"

Mister Avery stuck his thumbs in the sides of his vest and smiled at the brothers, "Thank you kindly, this is generations of acquisition you are seeing here. Gathered by my family and counsel." He winked at them, I think you are going to find something you both need but you will know what it is by instinct. So hunt for your items, you are both good hunters aren't you?"

Dean frowned at the little man, "How did you know?" Mister Avery tapped the side of his nose and smiled, "You smell of hunter, the way you carry yourself, the look in your eyes and the essence you give off, skilled and cunning." He patted Dean's arm, I see hills and valleys, much darkness with few slivers of light but you are a man of endurance not the fading, defeated hero you think you are."

He turned quickly to Sam, "And then there is you, clever Sam, the one that wants to set the world on fire, take life by the throat and squeeze until there is nothing left. Only after that will your façade burn away and leave what you really are inside and what you are meant to do, hard lessons are coming young Winchesters." He gestured with his arms, "look around now and tell me what is yours."

TBC