Dr Hannoh: 4693-392
Tri has not been available for days. Raoul is back though. He has a very kind expression. He looks at me differently and he does not raise his voice against me or even give a command through a harsh breath. I have avoided going to lunch with him, but the interesting thing is, I feel he has been trying to avoid me too.
It has been two days and I know the letter by heart. It is still in my drawer at home. I have kept it and thrown it away about a million times, then taken it back again. Finally, I realized I can't part from it. I get the feeling that it was written in swift emotional turmoil. Maybe pent up feelings he wrote down while high on an impulse he wanted to expose to the world. I don't know what to think anymore. Tri has been busy and not been able to talk other than through short emails. This has given me time to invite thoughts of Raoul into my head. I read the letter again when he passed me by and walked into his office with a cup of coffee.
I think I am in love with the sentence; These intense responses that he has incited within you, I am jealous of; they are the very same ones that I wish to give and to receive from another.
Can you imagine? Raoul jealous of Tri? I wonder if Raoul would be able to give me that much pleasure?
I dreamt about him last night, Artemisia. I dreamt about Raoul, but I don't remember what exactly. I woke up feeling completely tense and my body was craving for release. To my great embarrassment I dare to tell you I took out my toy from my drawer. I hate to admit it, but I do use it from time to time. I am not against playing and using toys as such, but I hate the fact that I can only come with the help from one. However, thinking of him made it all so pleasurable and it happened so fast. I wanted it so badly and the toy was hardly enough to satisfy my appetite. What I do remember is that I moaned his name. Raoul's name! Can you imagine… I am insane.
Look at me, I am rambling on about stupid things, when I have something more important to talk to you about. I took the courage a few days ago to go through Raoul's computer again. I was looking for any documents that could give me information about Dr Hannoh. All documents were locked with a thirteen-digit code, which would have taken some time to crack, but I did find a discarded email still remaining in the trash folder. The email was not containing any revealing information other than a "Yes, Lord Am", but the signature gave me plenty of information on where to find this fellow.
"Tanagura Biomedical Center
Section of Gene Dynamics
Bridge Promenade 7297 FXT
Tanagura
Extention code: Ξ 2866"
Hahaha! Raoul's address is:
"Tanagura Biomedical Center
Chief Executive Officer
Bridge Promenade 7297 FXT
Tanagura
Extention code: Ξ 3591"
And mine is:
"Tanagura Biomedical Center
Section of Molecular Modeling
Bridge Promenade 7297 FXT
Tanagura
Extention code: Ξ 3588"
Well what do you know, Artemisia. Dr Hannoh, who is actually a professor, is working on the 253rd floor, only about a hundred floors beneath us. I thought he worked at the Fertility Unit, but in fact, he is a group leader for the Gene Dynamics group, which is the unit responsible for the genetic alterations that we model through our programs. In other words, the up to date computer program I am to design for Raoul will design genes for future individuals as well as cures for diseases, which will be realized by Prof Hannoh. He puts the theory to the test. I guess Papa was right. My program will design a tailor-made sequence for each individual created or to be created. I now how it sounds, but it has great potential to do good. It all depends on how we choose to use it. However, right now, I am very hesitant to finish it. I don't know if I want to hand such a toy over to Raoul until I find out more of what is going on.
I went to his office on the 253rd floor during my lunch break. I didn't walk into his office of course. I can't confront him as yet. I will find a way to do that too. Meanwhile, I have to talk to Papa Downs. I know he has been looking for me. I had a message on my chair as I returned from lunch. The note said, "Your dad called. Urgent!"
Time to call daddy... and time to manipulate Raoul.
PAPA AGAIN: 4693-394
I am sitting here with my fourth glass of brandy and I've finished about a half a pack of cigarettes. My flat mates have been complaining about the smoke, but I don't give a damn right now. I met with Papa Downs yesterday evening. Just as we had discussed and agreed upon I was to meet him about three hours after work at the Downs club. It was the middle of the week and I was surprised that there were so many people at he club. There was some live music there too, but the band playing was not appealing to my taste in music. However, there were enough people howling to their glory that my addition wouldn't have made any difference.
Well, Papa Downs wore a black leather jacket and received me with his usual gentle character, but after the scotch was poured into the glass, the seriousness settled. He brought up the subject of Raoul again.
I came to understand that they have not been able to dig up anything on Raoul yet and it made me more worried than if he had come up with some concrete evidence. It meant that I had to dig into Raoul's life. I know I have been a disappointment to Papa Downs since I have hardly done any of what they had asked for. Papa Downs knew there was more to my aversion than just my loyalty to a coworker or boss.
Papa said; "Look, they are grabbing my ass here. I was the one suggesting you to them for you are the most suitable one for the job."
He leaned over the table and spoke with his usual hoarse voice.
"There is only one person I know who has worked for them and maintained integrity and that's you Katze. All others have fallen. Sooner or later they all do…"
I said nothing but nodded and sipped quietly on my drink and thus he continued.
"X-breed has not seen you online in weeks. You were supposed to check back with us regularly."
I still said nothing.
"All right, all right." Papa leaned back in the chair sighing. "I know getting information like that takes time. We have been at it for a long time without anything, but Katze I can't cover your back from these people. They have a lot of shit on you and if you don't return something to them they will have you within four walls in no time."
"Papa," I began. "I may be a mole in Raoul's hive, but I am not obligated to speak to those people. I have been played from the beginning and the only communication towards them goes through you. When the time is right, I will go to X-breed. Meanwhile, tell them to stay the off my back."
I told Papa about the night I was to meet with Tri and I had to shake some the tail off. Of course, I said nothing about Tri, just the situation. He said he had nothing to do with that, and I do believe him.
"Listen Katze, I will try to keep the vultures off your back but you will have to give me something to feed them with. Look, I was the one suggesting you, for I know you are one of the very few capable of pulling this off. You are the only one I know who didn't grow weak for a Blondie…"
If only he had known. In that second, Artemisia, I realized that I had to keep my front up with Papa. I could not be as frank with him as I once used to be. I had to give the impression I was still immune to Blondies – to Raoul.
"Tell me you have something, Kat. I know sacrifice hurts, but there is no progress without it."
I finished my drink and squeezed the blood out of stone as I presented the connection between Dr Hannoh and Raoul. I really haven't worked so much on the thought behind it all, but I made it up as I went along, hoping that my ideas sounded fairly logical. I told Papa about the emails I found on Raoul's computer, the possible collaboration where Hannoh was provided with the technical means and the embryos to implant into the unsuspected girls during checkups. I also said; "I suspect they are not chosen by random. The girl we found had been on an annual checkup for years. I think they all have their continuous checkups where their genetic compatibility with the fetus is established. Then they are implanted once it's shown they are capable of carrying the child through all trimesters. The first three months are the most critical."
I don't know how much of this he believed, but I couldn't have come up with anything better. He seemed content and though I wouldn't have been satisfied with such an answer, I new more about this matter at the moment and thus, he had to accept it. I left Papa's place knowing I had a few more weeks to breathe before I had to report again. I knew the undercover officers would place someone to keep Dr Hannoh under surveillance. I was quite sure he would be constantly watched from now on. And just as I suspected, by the time I got home, you had received a message from X-breed.
I am not surprised to be the one having to further investigate Dr Hannoh. Well, who is better suited than me, right? I work in the same building. I know that there is someone working in the lab who could be used for the very same purposes, but Dr Hannoh does not hire or let in just about anyone barge into his dominion. I am less of a threat for I don't even have to show my face in the laboratory. I can cross through wires and signals as long as they have an address in the electronic world.
I did, however, reply to X-breed warning him about following me around again. I think he understood, for the only thing I got in return was a lame "Deal". I know he's lying, but at least he knows that I have more experience than him and he shouldn't take me for a fool. The problem is, Artemisia, that some people think working for a Blondie softens you, but it is quite the contrary. I started living when I met with Iason, but that life was either roses or barbwire. There was nothing in between and then during the years with Riki, it was just barbwire. Riki was Iason's everything and I know that if Jupiter wanted it so badly, she could have recreated him as he was. But not his soul. It was all of those crazy little moments and experiences through life that creates the complexity of the individual not the empty shell of a body. A clone will never be the same. And neither was I ever since Hazall and the assassination attempt of Iason. From tonight on, I will dust off the gun I've kept locked up.