Just a warning: between now and Sunday there will probably be one day in which I do not update. Unfortunately, I will need to pull myself away from this story in order to answer a challenge of an LJ writing group that I am a part of.

Sorry for another short and unedited update.

Part Twenty-Five

Support

"Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up. Life's going to suck when you grow up; it sucks pretty bad right now."

Hitomi wasn't sure how long she sat there, the cold from the muddy ground slowly numbing her legs, with her hand pressed to her lips. Her mind was still trying to process what had just happened when the first rain drops touched her skin. It started as an almost silent pitter-patter that dotted the dirt around her. Steadily increasing in it's downpoar, Hitomi hardly noticed as the sheer material of her sarong clung to her legs like a second skin. It was only when the rain pelted against her skin painfully that she was able to pull herself from her thoughts.

She looked around, her expression slightly dazed. Then her vision started to blur and she had to raise her hand to shield her eyes from the rain. Her body suit felt heavy now, almost like wet weather, and she was almost certain that her skin was starting to chaff. Pushing herself up with unsteady arms, Hitomi placed a hand on the nearyby tree to right herself. Her hand went to the long, heavy dagger that was embedded in the tough bark. Her green eyes glazed over for a moment as she recalled the firm hardness of Dilandu's body as he pressed against her.

A shudder rippled down her spine and Hitomi had to visible shake her head to rid herself of the tingling memory. Her hand grasped the hilt of her favored blade, and she stared at the glistening silver for a moment.

Oh, Mother Earth.

She withdrew the blade easily from the tree and sheathed it in the leather holding that hung from her hip.

By the Goddess what had she done?

Millerna sat silently at the favored seat of her bay window, her eyes roving over the expansive gardens as the rain feel steadily. A lock of golden hair was curled around her finger as she tried to peer through the rains, as if it would give her the answers that she was searching for.

She knew what she needed to do. Now she just had to find the strength to do it.

A flash of red caught her eyes, and the princess turned her head to get a closer look. There, treading down the cobblestone path that lead to the palace door just below her window was Hitomi. It almost looked like the other woman was wearing practically nothing aside from the strange redness that covered the ambassedor's upper body. Pressing against the window pane so that she could get a more proper look at Hitomi.

Something about the way that her head was hunched forward so that her dark caramel tresses were tumbling over her face made the young woman looked defeated, almost depressed.

Millerna was half way out of her seat, her hands in the motion of gathering up her skirts when she stopped. She glanced back at the window only to discover that Hitomi had disappeared from view.

Shaking her golden head before the thought and indecision could even form she gathered up her skirts and stepped towards her receiving room, shouting for a maid as she went

The water as it pour from the shower head was almost painful against her numb skin, but she welcomed the pain. She slid down to the floor of the tub with a moan, bowing her head under the scalding water. It was if she wished that she could exorcise everything that had happened from her body.

Tears of frustration slipped down her cheeks and mixed with the water from the shower. Hitomi didn't know what had made her react as she had. She would be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't enjoyed the feel of Dilandu pressed against her, or the delightful jolts of pleasure that had a liquid heat filling her belly. Even now she could still feel the tingling aftereffects of the desire.

She recalled Naria's tale from the Mystic Moon of the woman warrior and the man that was her lover even though she did not love him. What am I going to do?

Just the thought of spreading her legs for Dilandu…hell, the thought of submitting to a man in that way was entirely unappealing.

It wasn't that she didn't entertain the thought of sex, after all she had base desires as any man did. Hitomi didn't care what noblewomen said, it was human to have those desires and to want to find some sort of release. If she thought past the fear of the rumor of pain that came with a woman's first time she was very sure that it would be very…nice, but would she ever really be able to enjoy such a thing?

Her hand went to touch the back of the calf of her left while the other touched her right shoulder. She could feel the raised ridges of the scars that marked her for what she was. That day when she had relinquished her crown to Zaibach she had become more then a royal hostage.

She had become an experiment.

The scars on her leg, back and hips marked her as such and it was something that she would never be able to regain. Goddess, who wouldn't be disgusted? Dilandu was one of the last men alive that she wanted to give herself to, even if she liked to entertain the notion and disregard all the possible consequences of sex. He was also porobably the only one who could disregard the scars.

Hitomi stood up with a sigh and disconnected the levistone switch that operated the shower head.

That was something she would worry about later. Right now she had more important things to worry about.

"Lady Hitomi?" Their was a light rap outside of the door of her bathroom.

"One moment." Stepping out of the tub Hitomi rubbed herself dry with a nearyby towel before slipping on a robe and stepping out. Outside a maid waited, dressed in the frilly blue of Millerna's personal handmaids. "Yes?"

"Milady." The maid curtseyed. "Princess Millerna was wondering if you would care to join her for some tea before you dine tonight."

Hitomi had to bite her lip to hide her smile. Really, the timing couldn't have been better. Not only did it give her an excuse to avoid Dilandu for the night, but now she would finally have a chance to talk to the princess as she had been yearning too.

"I would be delighted. When shall it be?"

"Her Majesty will send someone down to escort you shortly." The maid curtseyed again and then left as quickly as she had come.

Hitomi tugged at a curling lock of drying hair. Hopefully, this would take her mind off of Dilandu. As she headed to her room to change she couldn't help but wonder at something. Why wouldn't that rolling sense of guilt go away?

As always, a big thank you to my wonderful reviewers:

Sakura Crystals
Inda
Mimi87
Duo
mysisterisasquijum
Suils Saifir
thepinkmartini
Green.on.Black

Your support is a great help with the daily updates. (I am such a review whore.)

I know a lot of people are eagerly awaiting the engagement ball, but please be patient. If things go as planned it should be up by this weekend.

Inda - I'm actually not surprised that theren't aren't that many fans of this chapter. I haven't read through all of them at the time I got to yours, but it was to be expected. I just couldn't resist. :) Now it's time for the wonderful angst. Ku, ku, ku, ku.

Mimi87 - Thanks. My confidence in lime scenes is next to zero. What I do write is stuff that I've picked up from Ookami-chan of the Inuyasha fandom and Ravyn of the Rurouni Kenshin fandom. Both do very good angst and lemons.

Duo - Well, technically Dilandu wasn't drunk. This point of the story is about Hitomi landing on her own two feet with minimal outside help. Although there is a point in a couple of chapters when the two interact I wasn't planning on having them fight too much. However, since you requested it I will try to put some of it in there now. All of that will come in later. Glad you like the legal quibbles that Suils Saifir and I started.

Also don't worry, I didn't take offense to it. I welcome reviews like that. Even though I do have a point for everything it is nice to get back complaints so that I know that I have stuff I need to work on. I actually enjoyed your first review very much. Thanks for being honest and giving me so things to think about.