Dreamer of Fears

By: Shadow Chaser

Chapter 24 – The Second Phase

Even though Harry was angry, he managed to not fling the door open to the staff room and instead, stepped through rather calmly, Hermione hurrying in after him. The glamour that cloaked him as Merlin was already doing its work and he could feel the Dreamer in him trying to soothe his anger. He could not let his father take the blame for what happened on the Hogwarts Express.

His entry was noticed as silence descended upon the three people in the room and two heads turned towards him and Hermione.

"Ah, Merlin."

Harry ignored Dumbledore's greeting as he took in what was before him. His lips thinned as he saw his father sitting in a chair across from Dumbledore, the same worn, exhausted expression on his face. James' hands gripped the sides of the chairs, white-knuckled and the barest hint of perspiration beaded his forehead. Just what was Dumbledore doing before he interrupted, Harry wondered. And where were the others? The third person in the room was Mad-Eye Moody, but he stood perpendicular from the two, arms crossed across his chest, an unreadable expression across his craggy features. His magical eye was focused on Harry though, but Harry could not tell what the head Auror was thinking.

Harry studied his father again – James the only one to have refused to even look at him when he entered. He thought the worn, exhausted expression was gone from his father; having seen him with a vitality that gave him hope just mere hours ago. There was a confidence, a sureness in James that belied the defeated expression he saw now. James' spindly hands did not ease in their grip of the sides of the chair, and Harry thought he saw the barest tremor of nerves twitch through his father. He recognized the type of tremor – pain.

Harry finally looked back at the Headmaster, the anger that was already in him, slowly building to a boil. His father was in pain; whether it was from injuries sustained or- Harry did not even want to consider the alternate possibility of the man he once called Headmaster, that stood before him. He could not consider that possibility.

"Minister," Merlin's inflection over his own voice could barely contain his anger and it was noticed by Moody as the head Auror raised an eyebrow. Harry could not tell whether it was in surprise or not. "I was told there was a meeting?" Those were certainly not the words he wanted to say, but the Dreamer chided him and he reluctantly said the words. His reluctance had an unusual effect as it made him sound even more angry and Moody's second eyebrow rose up to disappear into his wild hairline.

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore gestured with one hand towards the doors that he and Hermione came through, "I dismissed the others to tend to their injuries. It was just a confirmation of events that led to this unfortunate situation."

"And Auror Potter?" Harry asked.

"He has assumed full responsibility of the actions that occurred today at the Hogwarts Express-"

"Those actions were the result of my vision, Headmaster," Harry interrupted, taking a step forward. Inwardly, he marveled at how calm Merlin managed to make him sound, even with his growing anger. His anger was directed mostly towards Dumbledore as he still couldn't tell what happened, but he did not like the implication of what had happened. But a very small part of him was also angry that his father was taking full responsibility of what happened. That blame fell solely on Harry – he was the one with the vision, the one who asked his father and even told him of the vision. He had as much responsibility of the disaster on the Express as his father.

"Vision?!"

"Auror Potter was acting as a result of the knowledge I parted with him," Harry ignored Dumbledore's exclamation and the not-so-twinkle in his eyes at his statement. "He does not bear full responsibility of what has happened. If there is a person to blame, then it is myself. I requested that this knowledge not extend to you, Minister, as we did not know who has infiltrated the Ministry and was sent to spy on you."

Something warred in Dumbledore's expression for a moment before he seemingly relaxed and the familiar twinkle that Harry long recognized returned to the man's eyes. Harry let go a breath he did not realize he had been holding – the sense of danger, of tension draining out of him. The Headmaster believed him. At the same time, James swayed a little in the chair he was sitting him, though his hands still gripped the sides.

"With all of the excitement today, perhaps things got a little more heated than usual. Please forgive my mistake, Merlin. I would also like to extend an invitation to you to visit me tomorrow – whenever is convenient for you. I am rather curious about this vision you speak of and perhaps I could provide some insight as to the spies that you may have heard or misheard about," Dumbledore said, his voice congenial and welcoming.

Harry was reminded for a moment of his world's Dumbledore – who realized the error of his ways and started to prepare and explain to him everything after the disaster at the Department of Mysteries. He nodded, accepting the invitation. He hoped that he would be able to emphasize the danger of having Crouch Jr. - even if he was Imperiused by Marion. Maybe he could ask Dumbledore about this world's Snape – clearly a spy – but at the same time a mystery before he underwent Occulmency lessons with the man. And also find out who the Potters' secret-keeper was because they were clearly betrayed on Halloween night of 1981. Perhaps he could also get some answers about why Dumbledore lied about this world's Harry Potter being dead. He did not have a chance to talk to Dumbledore since the Founders' Ball and he knew he had to take this opportunity with the carte blanche invitation he received.

"Alastor, if you could help Auror Potter here-"

"Minister, we do not mind escorting Auror Potter to a bed to rest," Hermione suddenly step forward, "I am sure you and Head Auror Moody here have a lot to discuss, especially with today's attacks and perhaps a revisit of the security measures for the students here. The fact that the Black Queen made use of Dementors and two other full-fledged Dreamers troubles me that Grindelwald may be pressing for a more aggressive tactic in the coming months. We must see to the security of this school and its inhabitants."

"Of course, Rowena. And may I express my happiness and joy at your Awakening. It has been too long since we have Wisdom among our group. Our last Dreamer was Professor McGonagall, our Transfiguration teacher. It is good to have such decisiveness and power to help the cause," Dumbledore folded his long fingers together and bowed his head.

Harry looked back to see Hermione in the guise of Rowena give him a thin smile. Something happened between Hermione and Dumbledore and he wondered if it was an allusion to what his friend wanted to discuss in private at a later date. He felt confused, but did not voice it as both Dumbledore and Moody left the room, heading back to the Great Hall.

"Oh Minister," Hermione suddenly called out before the door closed, "since Merlin is awake now, I would think it be prudent to move the injured to the Hospital Wing now. The students would be able to enjoy their morning breakfast tomorrow."

"Yes, yes, that is a sound idea. Merlin, I am glad you have recovered sufficiently. You had us worried there," Dumbledore replied before the door closed behind him.

Harry turned back and walked towards his father who was still gripping the arms of the chair like his life depended on it. James' eyes were closed, and Harry could see his father breathing out deep, noisy breaths through both his nose and mouth. "Are..." Harry hesitated as he knelt down to eye level in front of his father. He reached out a tentative hand and placed it on James' own white-knuckled grip. "A-Are you all right?" he asked.

His father's head bobbled once, firm, before he opened his eyes and stared at him. "You shouldn't have done that...Harry," James' voice was just above a whisper, but Harry was appalled at the amount of pain and tightness in them.

He opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say anything, his father released the grip he had on the arm of the chair and grasped his hand tightly, so tightly that it almost hurt Harry. He winced, but James seemed oblivious to it and made a motion that indicated he wanted to get up from the chair. Harry obliged him and gingerly swung his father to his feet. He immediately slung James' arm around his own while Hermione suddenly appeared on his other side and supported him.

"Where-"

"The dungeons...need to see...S-Severus..." James murmured before falling silent.

"Harry, hang on," Hermione suddenly shuffled a bit before she drew out her wand and tapped the point on his and James' their heads.

Harry felt the distinct sensation of having eggs cracking over his head before the Disillusionment spell spread all the way down his toes. He saw Hermione do the same to herself before she pocked her wand and together they slowly left the staff room and headed towards the dungeons. Harry understood why Hermione wanted no one to see them like this, as fellow Aurors, even those who were part of Moody's Aurors milled about, looking both concerned and shell-shocked. The students and adults injured in the attack were being transferred to the Hospital Wing now; and Harry supposed that if they saw James in such as state, perhaps rumors or worse may start up – giving Crouch's Aurors a chance to potentially challenge Moody's Aurors.

They eventually arrived at the dungeons and with no one around, Harry reached into his robes and drew out his own wand and removed the spell as Hermione knocked on the door. It was promptly opened by the last person Harry expected, Lily.

"Uh..." was the only word Harry could get out before Lily's expectant smile turned into a very sour-looking frown.

"Oh, you," she arched an eyebrow at James.

"Severus here?" James sounded tired, worn, his voice breathy with pain.

"No, summoned by You-Know-Who, twenty minutes ago," Lily looked eerily like Aunt Petunia with her put-out expression and thin waspish lips. Harry was a little more than disturbed by the familial resemblance even though he knew that the two were related. Holding up James' other arm, Hermione looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"...Okay..." James shifted and Harry realized his father was about to leave-

"Wait-uh-"

Harry's outburst seemed to have sparked something in Lily before she rolled her emerald green eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. "Fine, bring him in, Mer-err, Harry...Hermione?"

"Yes, ma'am," Hermione replied meekly.

Lily nodded once, decisive, before holding the door open for them. "Bring him in," she commanded in a firm tone and they did. She closed the door behind them, latching it shut before gesturing with a wand to two desks that instantly transformed into a not-so-comfortable looking couch.

Harry understood that they were to put James on the couch. He gingerly deposited his father, his father's hazel eyes still crinkled with pain, but he seemed to breath a deep sigh of relief as he laid down, the small flat-looking pillow apparently comfortable even though Harry had a distinct feeling that it was not that comfortable.

"Uh-"

"I know what he needs, that git," Lily rolled her eyes and stomped back into the inner rooms of the potions classroom. Harry could smell something herbal and minty wafting through the room. He realized that his mother and probably Snape had been brewing healing potions for those injured before Snape was called away by Voldemort.

"Harry...um..."

Harry tore his eyes from where Lily had disappeared to, a few sounds of glasses knocking together indicating that she was finding whatever James needed, to Hermione who still had a very distinct and uncomfortable look. It took him a moment to realize that Hermione never witnessed two people, parents even, fighting or speaking to each other in such a harsh manner. Harry would have thought the same except the mannerisms displayed reminded him greatly of how his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon treated him. "Ginny and Ron?" he asked, and she brightened, nodding.

"I think they're probably either in the Great Hall or maybe trying to find you-oh!"

"Yeah, uh, probably should go find them and tell them I'm all right-" Harry realized with some trepidation that his friends would probably panic if they did not see him in the Hospital Wing, especially with the injured all being moved back in there.

"Okay, I'll go, Harry, you stay here." Hermione was quick on her feet and left before he could even voice his protest.

He watched her leave before the distinct tapping of footsteps on the stone ground of the dungeons made him turn back to see Lily approaching with two potions in her hands. One was a blood red color, the other distinctly sludge-green. She seemed to not take note of Hermione's absence and pulled up a stool and sat down on it. She uncorked the blood-red one without a single word before roughly gesturing for Harry to help James up to drink.

Harry was disturbed by the cold, clinical way Lily was treating the whole thing, but did as she asked as he gingerly lifted his father's shoulders up, James blinking awake from whatever light sleep he had fallen into in the interim before a grimace worked its way up his lips. James closed his eyes and nodded as he used his hands to help himself sit up before Lily shoved the potion into James' spindly fingers. His father shakily held it up and Harry wanted to help steady the potion, but stopped at the quick glare from his mother.

He blinked, struck at the knowledge that his mother could produce such a look. A part of him rebelled at what was happening, but another part of him quailed at the animosity that was evident between his silent parents. Beneath his hands, he could feel James' shoulders shaking and he swallowed heavily, feeling a lump of pain, hurt, and anguish rising in him. He did not want to be privy to something like this and wondered if it had been better for him to leave with Hermione. But he was stuck now.

It felt like long agonizing minutes until James finished the whole bottle and handed it shakily back to Lily who took it and set it to the side without another word. She replaced the empty bottle with the sludge-green one and Harry wrinkled his nose at the smell and color of it. He wanted to gag. It smelled like Dudley's particularly rancid socks and he had a feeling it probably tasted like it, if not worse. However, he watched, morbidly fascinated at his father's apparent courage at drinking the thing without a word of complaint. Granted, James did grimace as the potion went down his throat, but once he was finished, he handed the bottle back to Lily, an involuntary shudder twitching through him before he closed his eyes and sighed.

"You can help him lie back down and rest, Harry," the malice in Lily's voice dimmed and Harry saw her sigh, shake her head and stand up, the two empty potion bottles in her hand clinking together as she went back to the store room.

He was surprised by the sudden change in attitude before he gently lowered his father back down onto the wooden couch with minimal plush comforts. James immediately turned to his side, curling a little in on himself and making his glasses push up against his forehead askew. Harry looked around for something he could transfigure into a blanket before Lily's footsteps came out again and he saw her holding a rather plush-looking one.

He took it from her hands, noting that instead of the waspish anger and annoyance on her face, she looked more resigned and tired than anything else. Harry reached over and gently draped it across his father's form, James mumbling something unintelligent, but Harry supposed it was his thanks. He absently nodded, even though he knew his father could not see it with his eyes closed.

"Harry," his mother suddenly spoke up and she gestured deeper into the classroom, "come help me finish this batch of healing potions."

"Uh...okay," Harry sent a sidelong look at his father.

"He'll be fine. He took the needed potions and he's just sleeping it off," Lily replied before walking away. Harry reluctantly followed and came upon two large cauldrons that were boiling away. It was clear that both Snape and Lily were making potions, ingredients not mixed in still on the side while both burbled happily over large fire pits.

"You can finish the one Sev's been working on before he was called away. He's got the list and directions to the side of his cutting board and if you're not sure, just ask me. This is batch number three for us and I know the steps by heart," Lily pointed to the cauldron and Harry stepped up to it.

He quickly read the directions and picked up where Snape left off before he continued by adding a sprinkle of the toadstool that was apparently lined up on the cutting board, ready to be put in. Harry could not help but note the methodical way that Snape kept his side of the ingredients and potions in such a meticulous order. The directions were also filled with side notes like the Half-Blood Prince's copy of Advance Potion Making. For such messy margins, the man's potion station was impeccable.

"Mu-er...Lil-errr...Professor," Harry stumbled on what to call Lily as he stirred. The potion was a rich green color, exactly as the notes stated. He breathed a quick sigh of relief that Snape's notes were still as accurate as his miracle Sixth Year. It would not do him any favors that his attempt to finish Snape's potion resulted in a gigantic cauldron exploding or dissolving everything in sight.

"Lily is fine, Harry, or Professor," his mother replied, hard at work at her potion. She was apparently quicker, her potion turning from rich green to a lighter calmer green.

"Um..." Harry fell silent as he realized he didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to ask her about her attitude towards James, about what happened on Halloween 1981 to change from her and James surviving instead of being dead, to being a Dreamer, to why she lost Faith, to all sorts of things, but all of the questions he wanted to ask were highly impertinent, especially since she had all but embraced him just that one time after he revealed that he was her son's alternate world counterpart.

"I..." he trailed off. Harry added another handful of ingredients and read the directions, giving his cauldron two spins before the potion turned a light green, the same one as Lily's. He added some more and stirred it several times again, the smell minty and herbal. It soothed him, breathing in the fragrance, calming and foritfying him. He felt brave enough to finally speak.

"I'm sorry that didn't tell you earlier," he babbled, "about the Black Queen, about myself-err, Harry- Are you okay with knowing that I'm Harry and not, you know, Merlin-"

He stopped as Lily held up a hand, resting her ladle to the side before she looked at him, her emerald green eyes soft and kind. It was certainly a far cry from how she greeted James earlier. "I suspected something was off about you and your friends, especially after the Minister announced all of you as Merlin and his Knights. They existed, that much was certain, but it was your mannerisms, no matter how much Merlin, or rather the Dreamer glamour cast about you tried to protect you. You forget, I was a Dreamer myself-"

"Faith, yeah-"

"Yes, Faith," Lily looked to the side for a moment before staring back at him, "and we are well-versed in many tricks that the Dreamers and their powers provide for us. We are the guardians of such power and we hold those in confidence and respect. So yes, I suspected, but I hesitated to voice my suspicions to you, only to Sev, because I love him too much to keep secrets from him."

Harry tried valiantly to suppress the grimace of hurt from flitting across his expression, but he supposed he failed as Lily tilted her head to the side, looking for a moment like Ginny when she sensed something was amiss.

"It bothers you, that I am legally married to James and having an affair with Severus." It was not voiced as a question, but Harry nodded in response. He remembered his lack of tact when he first voiced it during their initial introduction to the students and staff of Hogwarts. "I remember you saying that you lost your parents and you also lost someone you considered a parent," Lily's eyes betrayed no hint of her sympathies or of her emotion, but Harry could almost see her putting together the puzzle pieces in an eerie similar fashion like himself. He silently marveled at the reality that what everyone had been telling him time and time again – that he resembled his mother a lot. "I take it we died in your world, maybe during the war?"

Harry nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. He swallowed, grimacing as he glanced quickly at the directions before looking at the color in his cauldron. It was a safe spot for him to stop stirring. He set aside his ladle and turned to give Lily his full attention. "You...and Dad...I..." Harry's voice cracked before he cleared his throat lightly. It was harder to admit to his mother than it had been with his father. Then again, Sirius and Remus had been there so they also heard the stories and it felt easier to talk with them around because he felt that they would understand. With his father, he had gotten a good sense of who he was courtesy of Snape's prejudices, Sirius' wistfulness, along with Remus' memories. With his mother, he only had parts of Snape's memories from the pensieve, but he really did not know her.

"Both of you died," he resisted a shudder as the memory of being in Voldemort's head, living through the memory of his parents' death through the evil wizard's own perspective and thoughts-

"Both of you died when I was one." Harry had the sudden urge to play with a snitch, to fidget, to do something to keep his hands occupied. He instead, pushed his glasses up his nose as they slid down while he was working on the potion. The motion did not go unnoticed as he saw Lily frown a little. He realized it was the same motion James made, which probably reminded Lily of her estranged husband. "Sorry..." he mumbled.

Lily's frown became more pronounced before she reached out and clasped his fingers, squeezing them. "Harry, don't...don't think that you have to apologize to me. I...I can see that you're somehow hesitant to tell me this, but-"

"I know, I know," Harry pressed his lips together as she released his fingers, "I just...in my world, everyone says I look like Dad, but I have your eyes. I've been told by others, a lot of people, that I resemble James, act like him, are impulsive, foolhardy, prone to not trusting adults, doing my own thing, hell, getting into loads of trouble when I could have easily went to an adult- But the problem was that I didn't know who to trust. I couldn't trust anyone except myself, Ron, Hermione, even then, I didn't want them hurt so I tried to go it alone, tried to keep them away, but-"

He sighed and looked away, "You and Dad, both of you died on October 31st, 1981. Dad died first, he was wandless when Voldemort broke into our house at Godric's Hollow. Pe-The Fidelius Charm was broken by your Secret Keeper and Voldemort knew where you were. He went after the three of us. There was no time, it was so quick; Dad told you to take me and run, he'll find a way to stop Voldemort. He..." Harry bit his lip, "He was wandless, he didn't stand a chance, but he sacrificed himself for that split second so you could try something to get away."

The tears came to the corner of his eyes as he could feel the tide of pain rising in him. It hurt to tell them this, but it was like a dam that broke and the flood of agony was rushing through him; it felt oppressive, heavy.

"You barricaded the door," Harry hiccuped, wiping away the tears with his sleeve, but they still came, "you barricaded it with furniture, anything, and when Voldemort broke through, you dropped me in the crib and shielded me from his vision, as if it could do something to stop him. He asked you to step out of the way, his promise to Snape to spare your life, but you didn't and he decided he would kill you, Snape's promise nothing more than something he could soothe over. He killed you, then tried to kill me. The Killing Curse rebounded and he became a shell of whom he was..." He looked at her, the pain of what happened, the tears falling down his face at a rapid pace now. It hurt so much- Why did it hurt so much this time, this oppressive feeling he had-

"You...survived the Killing Curse," Lily held her fingers up to her mouth, shock spread across her features. "But...how-"

"Your love, your love for me, for Dad, it helped me survive..." It tore at him and he looked at his mother with plaintive eyes. "Can't you understand, can't you see, that's why-" He took a deep shuddering breath, wincing, "I can't, I don't understand why you're with Snape, why- I know he loved you, I know he is a s-"

"Oh my poor boy, my poor boy," Lily suddenly engulfed him in a bone-crushing embrace, and Harry felt his glasses dig into his nose, jarring the dull roaring pain that he was feeling- He shuddered again, hiccuping- It felt wrong-

"Why are you trembling so badly, Harry? My poor, poor boy," Lily pulled him out of the embrace and stared at him, clutching his shoulders. "Why-"

"I..." Harry was beginning to realize something was terribly wrong, "I don't...k-know-"

The doors to the Potions classroom opened and both he and Lily turned to look at the entrance; James had awakened at the entry and was gingerly pulling himself up, still clearly in pain- Hermione, Ron, and Ginny burst through, Hermione's hand was outstretched, wandless-

"Harry! You have to Occlude! Close your eyes! He's in seeing-"

Alarm shot through Harry as he saw his friends advancing towards him, Hermione's arm still outstretched. He felt was a burst of fear mingled with pain- Harry instantly understood the pain, the oppression he was feeling even though he barely suffered any injuries – it was because the Black Queen was doing what he did three time already. The Black Queen-

The last thing Harry saw was Hermione's mouth moving, oh so slowly, then everything became white.

"Hello Harry Potter, we need to talk," a voice spoke up.

And it sounded exactly like his own.

Author's Notes:

Just an FYI, this is not a Dumbledore-bashing fic. I know it smells like that with a few things going on, but based on this twisted world, some information cannot be trusted even when spoken by characters who just ooze trustworthiness.