A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my puppy, Ozzy, who was killed by a car on Friday afternoon. Rest in peace, baby.

Chapter 25: A Sleepless Night

The wedding was only weeks away. Lily Evans could not sleep. It was four o'clock in the morning, and Lily knew she needed to wake around six if she expected to be prepared for another endless day of caterers and flowers and bridesmaids and invitations and dresses.

But the wedding, strangely enough, was not what was keeping Lily awake. No, the true reason for her distress was the raging thunderstorm outside her bedroom window.

She buried her face in her pillow, trying to block out the sound of the roaring wind and thunder. "Please…. Please just go away," she whispered, as if the howling, raging storm could have heard her. A loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightening were her only response. She reached out the table next to her bed and attempted to pick up her glass of water, but her hand shook so badly that the entire table went crashing to the floor.

Lily sobbed, hugging her pillow to her chest.

Across the hall, James was having difficulty in sleeping as well. The storm wasn't a particular bother to him, though it didn't help matters. No, what really had James wound up was the realization that in two weeks time, he and Lily would be married, and with that came… the things that married couples do; things that went farther than kisses and gentle touches. By that time in just over two weeks James Potter would no longer be a virgin.

He was petrified.

James wondered vaguely if Lily was having as much trouble in sleeping as he was. He paced back and forth through his childhood bedroom. He thought about the surprise he had prepared for Lily for their wedding night.

A particularly loud crash of thunder sounded outside, and James heard a noise that sounding like crying. It was coming from across the hallway in Lily's room. Without a second thought, James grabbed his dressing gown and walked across the hall. He knocked softly on the door and waited a few moments. There was no reply, so James opened the door and walked in.

"Lily?" he said softly. She was curled on the bed, sobbing her eyes out. James went to her immediately, crossing the room in two large strides. "Lily, love-" he broke off, as she launched herself into his arms, sobbing freely into his chest.

"Shhh," James comforted, holding her tightly, running his fingers through her hair. "It's alright, love. I've got you now, I'm right here."

As he held her, Lily felt herself beginning to calm. Being in his arms, being this close to him was enough to make her forget about some of her troubles and fears and anxieties.

James led her to the sofa in the corner, holding her in his lap, letting her cry on his shoulder. When she had calmed considerably, he drew away from her just enough to look into her arms. "Tell me what's wrong," he said, his voice soft and serious. It was not a question or and order, exactly. He could compel her to tell him anything.

"I hate thunderstorms," Lily murmured.

"Clearly, but I think there's something more than that. I think that this is what you haven't been telling me."

Lily looked at the ground, and then nodded slowly.

"My-my parents," she said softly, her voice breaking a little.

"Tell me. It's okay, love. Just tell me everything."

Flashback

Twelve-year old Lily Evans could not have been more excited. She was going into London today to buy school supplies. For most children, this was simply another trivial part of summer, but for Lily it was something special. She was isolated from the magical world all summer world. Now, she would venture into Diagon Alley and mingle again with her own kind.

It wasn't that she didn't love her parents and sister dearly. She also loved seeing her muggle friends. However, she felt, whenever she ventured away from Hogwarts and away from other wizards, that she was a different person. She felt like an outsider, like she was lonely in a room full of people that she loved and that loved her.

Lily was excited about seeing her friends from Hogwarts. They had been sending owls back and forth the entire summer, and James, Sirius, Remus, Andromeda, Alice, and Marcella were meeting with Lily. She couldn't wait to get on the road to London. Her parents were being ever so slow about things and Lily was becoming impatient.

Finally she took her father's keys and walked out to the family car. She started the engine and began to honk the horn. Her mother came flying out of the house a few moments later, laughing.

"Lily, stop it already. We're coming!" She said, grinning. She opened the door to the driver's side of the car and tapped her foot, pretending to be impatient for Lily to vacate the seat. Lily giggled and crawled over into the back seat without exiting the car.

"Oh, honestly," her mother said good-naturedly, smiling indulgently at her youngest daughter. Words could not have expressed how proud she was of the little witch before her.

When Lily's father joined them in the car, they were off. Soft music played from the radio and the atmosphere was happy and talkative. The stormy weather didn't bother them in the least, although the rain bogged them down a bit. Finally, Mr. Evans pulled the car off of the road, deciding it was better to wait out the storm for a while than to keep going on in such conditions. If it didn't clear up soon, he had decided, they would go home, since they were closer to home than to London.

"But Daddy," Lily pouted, sticking out her lower lip, "I have to be ready when school starts again!"

"We can always come back another day, lovey," Mrs. Evans said, her voice tight.

"But all of my friends are coming today! Alice owled me earlier and said so!"

Mr. Evans sighed, squinting into the misty, rainy black hole ahead.

"We'll go on then," he said after a moment, though the decision was against his better judgment.

Lily gave a soft squeal of excitement and leaned out of her seat to hug her father around the back of his neck. She had chosen a very unfortunate moment to do so. Mr. Evans had just started to merge back into traffic and he was thrown off by his daughter's sudden action. His foot slipped on the break of the car and hit hard on the accelerator instead. Their car was hurtled into the heavy traffic. Lily heard her mother scream, and then she discovered herself lying on the pavement, watching as her parents' car and bodies burned on the road ahead of her.

Flashback Ends

Lily's eyes were closed as she finished her story.

"That was why you didn't show up that day," James murmured. "We all just assumed that you hadn't come because you were in so much grief, but... And you stopped talking to anyone but Alice afterwards. Does she know all of this?"

Lily took a deep breath and started to speak, but all that came out of her mouth was a loud sob. James held her close again, closing his own eyes tightly.

They had been wonderful friends in their first year at Hogwarts. Their group of seven was lively and always fun. Lily had been a tomboy, so she had fit in with the boys perfectly. After she had stopped talking to them, Peter had tried to fill her place in the group, but it certainly hadn't been the same. Marcella and her younger brother were murdered over the Easter Break by Death Eaters. They had been the first victims from Hogwarts.

Lily and Alice had secluded themselves, having a few acquaintances, but never any other close friends. Alice had met Frank, and then Lily had spent most of her time alone. She had become sarcastic and rude towards her old friends. They never really understood why, but they had retaliated with tricks and pranks, all in attempts to cheer her up. Lily had become distant, always angry at them and everyone else. Angry at the world, James supposed.

Lily sniffled into James' shoulder. She hadn't wanted to tell him of this. Her parents' deaths had sent her into a depression, which had lasted for years and still attempted to claim her at times like tonight, when she should have been immensely happy.

"I-I apparated out that night. Of the car, I mean. And my-my sister- she hates me for all of it. She thinks that it's m-my fault. And I know it is, but I can't-" Lily was cut off.

"It's not your fault, Lily!" James said sharply.

Lily started to protest, but he stopped her.

"It's not your fault. Judging by what you have told me tonight, your father and mother loved you very much. You were showing affection and appreciation, and…. It was an accident, love. Simply an accident. You've been carrying this around for so long…" His own eyes were now starting to fill as well. She thought that she had killed her own parents. He couldn't imagine…. Having just lost his own father, James found the thought of what Lily had been going through all of these years completely unbearable.

"Alice does know. I used to mumble about it in my sleep, I suppose. And she guessed enough. She's the only other person I've ever spoken of it too."

"Lily, it's really not your fault. You have to know that," James said, looking into her piercing emerald eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore right now." Lily said suddenly as another loud clap of thunder filled the room.

"Alright, love," James said. He started to stand, saying, "Let's get you back into bed then."

Lily nodded and followed the pressure of his hand in hers. He pulled the covers down for her, and Lily lay down. James knelt next to her and pressed a sort kiss to her forehead.

"Stay here," Lily requested softly. "Please."

James nodded, tenderly kissing her lips before shedding his dressing gown and climbing into the bed next to her. Her folded her into his arms and let her cry herself to sleep. He, on the other hand, lay awake for hours, thinking about his future wife's troubles, wishing he knew more to do to help her. His final conclusion was that just being there to hold her through the thunderstorms and the nightmares was enough for now. Her inner-demons were things that she would have to deal with on her own.

When Lily awoke the next morning, she felt the warm tenderness surrounding her that meant James was near. She opened her eyes with a sleepy smile.

"Morning," she said softly.

"G' morning," James replied, returning his own sleepy smile.

"Morning."

"Morning."

"Morning."

James and Lily looked up to discover Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing in the doorway.

James groaned inwardly, knowing perfectly well that vulgar remarks would be made.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Sirius asked, striding into the room with a teasing smile gracing his dark, handsome features.

"A bit of pre-wedding fun?" suggested Remus lightly.

Peter snorted his wheezy laugh.

"Remus!" Lily said sharply, blushing at his words.

"Well," said Sirius, feigning seriousness, "you can't deny the evidence, Lily. You and James, a bed, the fact that it's after noon…"

"Is it really so late?" Lily asked, completely shocked.

"Indeed," Remus replied.

"We… had and interesting night last night," James said vaguely.

"No kidding," replied Sirius.

"Oh, grow up," James muttered irritably, throwing his pillow at Sirius.

"Touchy, touchy," Sirius replied, catching the pillow.

Everyone laughed.

"Exactly how long have you three spies been lurking outside the door, there, anyway?" Lily asked, glaring accusingly at them.

Sirius pulled an offended expression. "Spies? Remus, did she just refer to us as spies?" he asked, closing his eyes.

"I believe so, Sirius," Remus responded.

"What do you think we should do about it?" Peter asked the other two.

"I think," said Sirius slowly, an evil grin beginning to spread across his face, "that we should nip downstairs and inform Emily exactly what her son and his fiancée have been doing up here."

"Sirius Black, don't you dare!" Lily exclaimed, her cheeks growing red, instantly.

James, who was still next to her in the bed, was nearly doubled over with silent laughter. He never perfectly well that his friends would never dare to tell his mother that they had found him in bed with Lily, and the fact that they hadn't actually done anything dishonorable made the entire situation all the more hilarious to him.

Lily turned to him, furiously. "Stop laughing!" she exclaimed. "What on Earth would your mother think of me, then?" she asked, completely mortified by the thought.

"Relax, love," James chuckled. "They won't breathe a word to Mum, will you?" he directed the question at his three closest friends and fellow Marauders.

"No," they answered in unison. Everyone nearly doubled over with laughter.

"James, aren't you awake yet?" Emily Potters' voice came floating up the stairway.

James' face went slightly pale, and he stopped laughing instantly.

"Shit," he said, trying to get out of the room as fast as possible. In the process, his foot became entangled by the bedclothes and he tripped, falling to the ground.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter roared with laughter. Even Lily couldn't help but giggle softly, as she extended her hand to help him up.

"Are you alright?" she asked, grinning.

"Shush," he said, running into the hallway. A moment later they heard him, using a fake, sleepy voice. "What's that, Mum?"

"I was just seeing if you were awake yet, sleepyhead," Emily replied.

"Yeah, Mum. I'll be down in a minute," James called back, still using that pathetically fake, sleepy voice.

Sirius, Peter, and Remus had left when he walked back into Lily's bedroom. She was sitting up in the bed, grinning at him as he stretched.

"You laughed at me," he accused, pointing a finger at her.

"Well," Lily replied, "you did look rather stupid, love." She laughed again at the look on his face and rose from the bed, kissing him lightly on the lips as she passed him. "And I must say, your acting skills are impeccable." Still laughing lightly, she sauntered off, leaving James looking a bit dumbfounded, shaking his head, grinning ear to ear.

Downstairs, in the kitchen, Emily was laughing to herself. She thought vaguely that she should have taught James some better acting skills is he wanted to lie to his mother about sharing a bed with his fiancée. She knew perfectly well that they would never do anything inappropriate remembered sharing the same bed in the same bedroom for a similar reason with Jason during their own engagement. She sighed albeit a bit wistfully and continued to clean her dishes.

A/N: Well, this is finally complete, about three months later than expected! I am so sorry that it took forever for me to get this chapter up, and I swear it will be a lot shorter of a wait for the next chappie. I love this story, and I have so many wonderful plans for it which I think everyone will really enjoy reading. I do intend to finish this story and its sequels, though I do admit that I expect that to take a lot of time. I have a very busy and full "real-world" life which gets in the way of my writing all too often, and I do apologize to my readers because my updates are few and far between. Particularly lately, my real-world life has been extremely stressfull and sad. I'm having relationship problems, both with my ex-boyfriend and one of my closest friends, family illneses, including my own, and the death of my puppy on Friday afternoon to deal with. I'm not having an easy go of it at the moment, and I would truly appreciate understanding, support, and even some prayers from my readers on fancition.

As always, signed reviews and anonymous reviews with an email adress will be replied to! I don't care if you just say "Cute story, I like it!" or "Crappy story. I hate it." but please do review! I'd prefer the first of those options, too! LOL.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter or in chapters previous, I love you all and would love to hear from you again soon!

Love from,

Lyny Angell