Music tip:
Shawn Mendes - Stitches
youtube: watch?v=A4KMui4f8Es

For You

Chapter 24:
Love in Reverse

"Thank you again for the invitation, it's so nice to see you all again."

Mitch glanced up from his plate towards Mike, the boyfriend of his older sister for years now, before he took another bite of his meal. Gladly he had left his house in Florida and his two friends behind to spend some time with his family, even though the invitation had come at short notice. Nonetheless it was better than being questioned by his oblivious Australian friend and being constantly watched by his skeptical best friend about what was bothering him.
He couldn't be honest to them. Not about him.

So he had come to Pennsylvania to get his mind off of things.
Little did he know that recent actions hadn't been as inconspicuous as he had hoped.

"So Mitch," Kyleigh began innocently and he immediately perked up, because the subtle tone of her voice was like a red flag.
"I've talked to some friends in Montreal this weekend. You have something going on with Jess? How is she?"

Not a second later several eyes landed on him and with a deep sigh he tried to hold the anger back in. It was clear to everyone though that her sassy question resulted in him getting unnaturally introverted in the blink of an eye.
"I don't know, since I have nothing going on with her in the first place."

Instead of letting the topic go and leaving Mitch alone, Marley took over and started to chime in, "You should get back there for a bit, meet your friends, do something with her… Take a break from recording and have a good time with Jess, you know."
The easygoing expression on her face was too much.

"Why are you butting into my private life as well now?!"
He raised his voice and the anger made the mood change in a matter of seconds, but Mitch couldn't care less as he tried to keep them from talking about his love life. He had escaped Florida to avoid such a situation with his friends – now his family was unknowingly reminding him of thoughts he had tried to forget for months without succeeding once. Something they weren't aware of and he originally had planned to leave it at that.

"Calm down, Mitchell, don't-" his father wanted to interfere, but Marley beat him to it.

"Because I care about you, Mitch, and you've been miserable for months now, since your break-up with-"

"Don't you dare going there, Marley!" he warned her with a dangerously low voice and put the silverware down to clench his trembling hands into fists.
For months they had barely tried to talk to him about what had happened back then, but whenever one of them had mentioned Adam or Team Crafted, he had closed up on them instantly. He usually wasn't so withdrawn, but this time with this certain topic at hand…

He just couldn't open up about it, about Adam, their memories and the fight, because it would be another step towards letting go of him once and for all. Something Mitch was unwilling to do, no matter how often his mind kept yelling at him that Adam wasn't worth holding on.

"Why not?"
Marley pulled him out of his thoughts and ignored the pleading look of their mother to leave him be. Instead she continued and was the cause of his increased heartbeat, because his mixed up feelings were torn between anger and the fact that he was still in love with the person he hated the most.
"Months have passed, Mitch, months, and you're still clinging to Adam!"

"I'm not-"
He tried to argue back, but his trembling voice wasn't strong enough to fight the truth. Marley kept on pushing without realizing what she was doing to him.

"Oh come on Mitch, seriously? Do you want me to bring up all those times you have been thinking about him? Because you can't really believe that you are fooling anyone."

Something inside of him snapped.
She wanted him to be honest?
She wanted him to reveal his inner demons?

Fine.
For once he let go of the pent-in emotions, of every single one of them, until they were too much to remain sane.

"God yes, I still love him, are you happy now?!"

Caught in the moment he jumped to his feet and continued with a voice that was unrecognizable for his confused family. They stopped their movements and threw worried glances in his direction, but Mitch ignored them and continued to scream at his shocked elder sister, who definitely hadn't expected such an intense reaction from her brother.

"I hate myself so much for loving him despite all that he has said and done to me, but I can't simply stop it! Tell me how, Marley, please tell me, because I can't take a single step forward in my life right now, because nothing seems to work without him."

He stopped.
His voice was hoarse from the rare screaming and he breathed heavily.
Just then, as he stared into their shocked faces and saw the pitiful glances, he realized what he had done. What he had admitted. What he had revealed.

For months he had tried to keep his thoughts hidden from Jerome, his friends, his family…
It had been for nothing.

"Mitch, I'm sorry, I didn't-" Marley began, but he didn't give her a chance to continue. While slowly backing away he ran his trembling fingers through his short hair, stared at the ground and then turned around to escape into the room he was staying at for a few days. He locked the door and waited with bated breath for a noise, but nothing happened.
No one followed him.

"Why did you have to screw me up so much?" he whispered and took a deep breath, as he slowly walked through the small room. His heart was beating painfully in his chest and it took him a moment to calm down a bit.

It didn't surprise him that tears appeared in his eyes as he sat down on the side of his bed, but he desperately tried to keep them back. He wouldn't cry over him, not again after he had been the cause of so much heartache already.
Marley was right, no matter how angry Mitch was at her for getting him to reveal his dark little secret. He should finally move on.

But how?
He had tried everything to remove Adam from his life, but up until now nothing had been successful.

…maybe exactly that was the problem though.
He wanted to forget the charismatic boy and every single memory of them together, but maybe it was simpler than this. Maybe trying to live with the memories and leaving Adam behind once and for all was the right way. He would never be able to forget him, no matter how hard he tried, but moving on…

It could be possible, right?
One day he would be able to think about Adam without his heart being ripped apart by his anger and the need to be with him again. One day he would be able to laugh about the stupid mistakes he made, including the one when he had decided that being in a relationship with Adam would be a good idea.

It had been a horrible mistake, but Mitch knew better now.
No new relationship with Jess or anyone else, no going back to Adam, just Mitch himself and his videos. Right.

It was time to move on once and for all.