Chapter 25: Captured!
Suddenly we were in a castle! I looked Rudolpha she was crying and had snot dripping out of her nose. It was really gross. "Rudolpha don't cry" I said trying to be reassuring. Hans Landa slapped me across the face "No talking! Do you not know where you are?" I looked around. "It's just a shitty ass castle you shit ass" said Rudolpha. Hans Landa pulled out a gun and put it to Rudolpha's head "Harlow, he's gonna shoot me, what's gonna happen?" she asked, beginning to cry again.
I jumped on Hans Landa to save the day! The gun fell out of his hands and we rolled around screaming. He said some stuff in German and I couldn't understand it!
"Stop! What is this nonsense!" said a loud booming voice that sounded like a big voice.
I gasped and turned. It was She! And next to her was her second in command Shandra. She was holding a big sword and was pointing it at me.
"I am sorry Mistress" said Hans Landa. Suddenly, She let out a great cry and raised her sword, bringing it down on Rudolpha. She split into two halves which fells to the floor and her innards fell to the floor. It was gross and sad! It smelled like a New York deli!
Our eyes locked and I saw the life leaving her eyes. It was really sad! (If you're crying, I'm sorry!) I held her hand and kissed it, it tasted like grease and kosher salt. She gave me a look that let me know that she wanted me to win so that our world would be safe. And then she went all limp and stuff and died. I cried for like 5 minutes.
"Why did you do this She?" I asked, pointing at her and making my angry face (If you want to know what it looks like, look in a mirror and wrinkle your forehead and scrunch up your nose! Isn't it ANGRY?) She took a step back, because my angry face must have scared her. "She was of no use to us anymore. We were only going to kidnap her in order to bring you here, and I see Hans Landa already did that. Thus, we has no use for the slick turd you call Rudolpha."
"She wasn't a turd!" I yelled. "She was my friend!" She let out a loud womanly laugh, her big boobs shook as she laughed a loud womanly laugh. "She was worthless, and she allowed us to finally capture you. You are the key to this whole thing, you know."
I gasped! I didn't know that! I tried to act as if they didn't surprise me "Yeah, I knew that" I said, scoffing all disconcerned.
"Then you know that whoever has you, has the power in this struggle for good vs. evil." "Yeah, I knew that" I said, scoffing again.
"So now, we have the power, which means the forces of good will soon be trampled underneath my feet".
Shandra laughed like an annoying shit.
I didn't know what to do! I had to get out and find the Hero Squad, they would know what to do, because I sure didn't!.
"Take her to the dungeons, put her in with the other prisoners" She said, giving a wave of her big beefy arm.
Big strong women grabbed me and carried me into the dungeon and threw me into a cell and locked the door. I looked around, there were people in the cells. Most of them were sleeping on piles of hay. Then I heard someone trying to get my attention. I looked at a cell across the room and I gasped. It was Rachel Berry and Lady Gaga!