Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight. I do not. I do however, own my gang.

Flying solo folks.

Chapter 25

For five days Jacob had no contact with Bella.

Four of those torturous days were spent worrying about her and fearing the worst.

Carlisle had rushed her to the Cullen house after her seizure ended. The return of the good doctor and his wife reenacted their treaty which made it forbidden for him to go with her. Something Taylor took great pleasure in reminding him. Never had Jacob come so close to breaking the treaty and starting a war. The wolf swelled with fury, livid at the thought of allowing vampires to carry off his imprint. One look at Bella's unconscious form, and he regained control over his wolf, resisting the urge to tear them apart. It had been close though. So close that Sam had a wolf keep a close eye on him, fearing he'd do something rash.

Jacob had wolves watching the boundary line and after a thorough sweep of the area, got confirmation that Carlisle and Esme had returned alone. Edward and the other vampires were still in Japan. Most of his calls to Bella's phone went unanswered. But, when someone picked up, it was Taylor tersely informing him that Bella was fine and refused to let him talk to her.

Every time he closed his eyes he remembered the warm press of Bella's lips on his own. He'd spent the last few days mired in guilt. Guilt for betraying his mate and guilt because he couldn't think about anything besides kissing Bella. One kiss and his sleep became racked by feverish dreams that left him sweaty and unbelievably hard. By kissing Bella he'd indulged the imprint making it stronger and more potent than ever, until she became a craving in his bones.

During Bella's time with the Cullens, Carmen made herself scarce around the house. Ever since their ugly fight in front of the Elders, she'd been avoiding him with her usual working late excuses. When she wasn't around, his house was a place of peace instead of a war zone his wolves avoided. On the rare occasions she came home, and he wanted to talk, he received stubborn silence and hard glares. If she expected him to kowtow and beg her forgiveness, she had another thing coming. He still fumed at her for airing their private business before the Elders and blaming Bella for the attack.

On the fourth day, he received word that Bella had left the Cullen house and returned home with her friends. Though the wolf demanded Jacob go to her house, he resisted… for one day. He'd been in the workshop when he learned that Bella's friends had dropped her off at Charlie's house. Ignoring Quil's smirk and Trevor's quiet disapproval, he raced to see her.

Jacob went to the back door and his hand froze midair when he heard Bella's voice, thick with tears.

"I don't think it will get any better."

Was she upset over what happened between them? Jacob knocked instead of breaking down the door like the wolf wanted.

After a moment the door swung open to reveal Charlie. He'd scrubbed his worn face of all emotion, but Jacob sensed inner turmoil bubbling beneath his exterior. Over his sturdy shoulder, Bella perched on the edge of a chair, her face angled away from the door. Though the counter prevented Jacob from having an unobstructed view he heard her sniffle and saw her dab at her eyes with a piece of tissue.

Charlie's eyebrows rose in mild surprise. "Jacob, I didn't know you were dropping by."

"I was in the neighborhood," Jacob said and Charlie gave him a knowing look. "Can I talk to Bella?"

Instead of replying, Charlie turned to his daughter, bushy eyebrows raised in wordless question.

"It's okay." Her face tear free, Bella stuffed the balled-up tissue into her pocket and pushed to her feet.

Charlie returned to his leather recliner and made a point of switching on a baseball game.

After closing the door behind her, Bella joined him outside on the porch, her features guarded.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" She plastered a smile on her face, but her eyes were still puffy and red from crying.

"The last time we were together, you had a seizure. Then the Cullens show up and I don't see you for four days." Jacob moved toward her and halted in confusion when she beat a hasty retreat. Almost as if she didn't want him near her.

"I didn't mean to make you worry, but I'm fine now." She braced herself against the railing trying to assume an air of ease.

"Perfectly fine people don't start seizing out of nowhere, Bella," he said with a tone marked by annoyance. His irritation faded when he recalled her seizing in his arms. "Was it me?"

"What?"

"Did the seizure happen because I kissed you?" For days that niggling suspicion tormented him. The fear that he'd made her sick when he kissed her. That her bond with Taylor made it impossible to be with someone else like that.

"Of course not! My seizure had nothing to do with you. Carlisle thinks it was from the strain my injuries put on my body. As long as Fang stays under control, it won't happen again." Her mouth curved into a warm smile. "When I say I'm fine I mean it."

"Why did you stay with the Cullens for so long?"

"Carlisle wanted to run a few tests while he had me there and Taylor insisted I use the time to recuperate."

"What a surprise." Taylor would use any excuse to have her to himself.

"Don't blame Taylor. I told him I didn't want to talk to anyone," she admitted, eyes locked on the floor boards.

"Why would you do that?" Jacob moved toward her again, his bare feet made no sound on the wooden floor.

"I needed time to think." She glanced away, biting her bottom lip but made no objection when he settled beside her.

"Why?"

"You know why." Her hard stare told him that topic was not up for discussion. With a sigh, she angled her face toward the marshmallow clouds hovering overhead. "I should've known the she-wolf would object to me holding up at the Cullen's and not talking to her."

"You talked to Leah?" The young wolves had borne the brunt of Leah's volatile temper in training sessions. She'd been on business in Seattle when she heard what happened with Bella. To say Leah was furious was an understatement.

"Didn't really have a choice. She wouldn't take Taylor's no for an answer. Even threatened to storm the boundary and kick my ass if I didn't take her call."

"Yeah that sounds like Leah all right." He shoved his hands into his pockets.

"So Taylor hands me the phone and the first words I hear are 'bitch, you could have told me'." Her infectious laugh coaxed a smile from him. "I'm relieved to have everything out in the open. And after seeing Amy and Claire, it's a weight off my mind."

"Amy?" Jacob tensed.

Bella nodded, eyes fixed on his face. "She called and asked if I would come to their house."

"You were on the res? After I asked you not to come?" Bella being draken still made the Council nervous, and he needed time to convince them she wasn't a threat.

She had herself a hearty laugh at his expense. "You expected me to do something just because you said so. Well excuse me, Lord and Master of La Push. I'll be sure to get your permission the next time I visit."

"This isn't a power trip, Bella. I have my reasons for wanting you to stay off the res." When she frowned at his sharp tone, he sighed. "I'm trying to look out for you, Bells. There are issues you aren't aware of."

"I heard some Council Elders wanted to ban draken."

"Who told you—"

"Emily." After a moment's hesitation, Bella settled a light touch on his forearm. A soft smile played on her lips. "She also said that you stood up for me. Thanks."

Covering her hand with his own, he returned her smile. The wolf whined when she broke eye contact and withdrew her touch.

"It's not personal with the Council. They're freaked out but once their shock passes they'll see you're not a threat to humanity."

"You don't have to explain, I get why they're nervous." She heaved a weary sigh. "Look I had no plans to visit until Amy told me that Claire had been having nightmares. She thought it would help if I came over and talked to Claire about what she saw."

"How did it go?" Jacob hoped she had more success than he did. As it turned out Carmen's concerns about Amy and David's reaction was right. Since the attack, they'd refused to let any of the pack see Claire, including Quil.

"To be honest, it went better than I expected. We had a good talk and by the end of the visit Claire was begging me to make her fly again." Her shoulders rose and fell in a confused shrug. "I'm convinced that giant dollhouse I bought before I went over there had plenty to do with how quickly she warmed up to me."

Jacob resisted the urge to kiss her senseless. Bella didn't know it but she'd overcome a major hurdle for him. The last time Emily spoke to them, Claire's parents had been considering moving away from the res. Thanks to Bella, Quil wouldn't have to worry about his imprint moving across the country.

"Kids are a lot more resilient than I thought."

"Especially when obvious bribes are involved." Her grin faded. "I won't come back to the res unless the Elders are cool with it. You won't get any more trouble out of me. Scout's honor." She held up three fingers.

He nodded his thanks. That would make his life a lot easier.

"I better get going. If I don't bring home something for Micheal to eat, I'll never hear the end of it." Jacob was nearing the end of his rope. If he had to listen to that bottomless pit yell for food one more time, he'd hold a pillow over the pup's face. No jury on earth would convict him after they learned how he'd spent the last few days.

"How's he doing? I've been meaning to check up on him." Bella asked and jealousy stabbed at him over the depth of her concern for Micheal.

"Miserable. Both his arms are still in casts so he can't do much for himself. He's pretty much stuck at my place until he heals."

"Will he eat pot roast?"

"Does a wolf have fur?" Jacob deadpanned, but she was already on her way to the kitchen.

She opened the door and called out, "Dad, do you mind if I take some pot roast for Micheal?"

"You're leaving?" Charlie poked his head into the kitchen.

"Jacob's taking me to see Micheal and I know the poor guy will be starving," she said, completely glossing over the way she'd invited herself to his house.

"Go ahead and take what you need. It's your roast." Charlie took a plastic container down from a cupboard and offered it to her.

"You drive around bringing people food? Is that your thing now?" Jacob shook his head.

"When I can't sleep, cooking relaxes me. Don't poke fun." Her lips curved into a self-deprecating smile.

Charlie watched their interaction with an amused glint in his eyes, wiry mustache twitching every so often. "I'll see you and the others for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Eight on the dot." She hugged Charlie goodbye. "We'll talk more later."

Charlie pulled way and searched her face, heavy concern lining his features. He motioned to speak but changed his mind when he remembered Jacob was in the room with them.

"Look out for my baby girl, Jacob," Charlie told him gruffly.

"You got it."

Pot roast in tow, she followed Jacob out of the house, and into the forest where she stood there waiting for him to phase.

He reached for his waistband and caught her staring intently at him.

"Bella."

"What?" She blinked.

Jacob raised his eyebrows. It took a few seconds before his meaning sank in.

"Oh right. Nudity." She whirled around, flustered.

He stripped out of his pants and couldn't pass up the chance to tease her. "If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask."

"Shut up!"

He smelled the blood rushing to her face and barked out a laugh.

Jacob couldn't recall the last time he enjoyed being ridden like a horse. It probably had something to do with Bella wielding his fur as if they were reins while hollering at the top of her lungs for him to go faster. A demand he had no trouble following much to her ecstatic delight. Apparently old adrenaline junkie habits die hard. One of the few times he took Carmen on a run, she complained about him shedding fur over her clothes as though it was something he could control. Bella's excitement was a pleasant change from the nitpicking.

"All hail the conquering hero." Bella strolled into his house as if she owned the place, drawing the attention of every wolf in the room.

"Bella brought food, you guys!" At Adrian's excited announcement, the pups within sniffing distance scampered to their feet. Bella took a startled step back, distracting Jacob with her sweet scent. She was close enough to feel the warmth emanating off her body, close enough to touch—

"Sorry, guys. I only brought enough for one," Bella said and watched as the wolves reclaimed their seats with loud groans of disappointment.

"Is that for me?" Micheal's entire face lit up. Hard plaster encased both his arms, from shoulders to wrists. The recently white casts now bore the signings and obscene scribblings of his pack brothers. Fresh bandages bound his torso from chest to abdomen, concealing wounds that were almost healed.

"It sure is." Bella gave the container a come-hither jiggle.

A jerk of Jacob's head and Tommy vacated the seat beside Micheal, sliding to the floor to create room for Bella. She gingerly picked her way over limbs and bodies to sit at Micheal's side. Then in front of everyone, she set out to spoon-feed the cocky little bastard.

Micheal groaned with pleasure, eyes rolling shut as he chewed. "Sue says my cast can come off in two days. Can't wait to go for a run."

"You poor thing. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to be couped up for so long." She brought a spoon ladened with beef and vegetables to Micheal's mouth. Before the spoon reached its destination, a violent tremor shook her hand, dislodging a moist, chunk of carrot.

"You okay, Bells?"

"No big deal. It's just a cramp." She set the spoon down and flexed her hand, wiggling her fingers.

It suddenly occurred to Jacob that Bella had drawn the focus of every wolf in the room. Was it concern or fear she'd lose control again? More than a few of the stares held a disgruntled edge from resentful wolves. Jacob made a mental note to warn Bella against showing favoritism among the pack. His own stomach was grumbling from the mouthwatering aroma of herbs and spices. The juicy roast was so succulent and tender it fell apart on the spoon. The next time she brought food, she'd have to bring enough for everyone or not at all. Otherwise it wasn't fair to Jaco—the pack.

"Guess what?" Micheal asked when she picked up a spoon again.

"What?"

"Leah doesn't call me Thirteen anymore. She says I've earned the right to be called by my name. How cool is that?"

"Very cool." Bella matched his enthusiasm. She scooped up more chunks of vegetables. "Now open wide."

Micheal wrinkled his nose. "I don't like carrots."

"They're good for you. Open wide," Bella coaxed gently. From where Jacob sat, he rolled his eyes at the way Bella shamelessly babied the pup. She should've stuffed the vegetable down his gullet as Jacob did whenever he refused to eat something.

Micheal did as told but swallowed without chewing, grimacing as carrots journeyed to his stomach.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Bella flashed a winning smile and warmth spread through Jacob's chest. God, she was so beautiful.

"I deserve a reward for eating all my veggies."

"What do you have in mind?"

"How about a sponge bath? I feel really dirty." Micheal's grin turned lecherous.

"You little shit!" Broken arms or no, Jacob flew out of his chair intending to pound Micheal into the ground.

He'd managed one step when Bella snapped, "Jacob Black, if you lay one finger on that boy you'll have to answer to me."

Bella was all sweetness and light as she gave Micheal her full attention. "I'll give you a sponge bath on one condition."

"Name it." Micheal looked like he'd agree to hack off his left foot if she asked.

A dainty eyebrow rose. "If anything south of the border so much as twitches, I get to beat it down with a spatula."

Micheal soured. "Nevermind."

"That's what I thought." She glanced at Jacob, an impish glint danced in her eyes. "See? No need for violence."

The wolf sitting furthest from Bella uttered a sarcastic snort, his eyes focused on the TV screen.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Don't mind Mark, he's just mad you kicked him in the balls when you were all fanged out," Tommy clued her in.

"I'm so sorry I kicked you in your little pebbles," Bella crooned and the wolves snickered.

"They're not little!" Mark blushed with outrage.

"I mean big—your giant…" Redness bloomed on her cheeks and she turned to Jacob for help.

Jacob jerked his gaze away from the desperate plea in her eyes. He'd do many things for Bella but complimenting another guys balls was not one of them.

She whipped out a small notepad from her pocket. 'Wolves' was scrawled across the cover in blue ink.

"Okay, so your name is Mark. Let's see." Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, she flipped through its pages. "Ah, here you are. You love peaches, right? How about I make you an I'm-sorry-I-kicked-you-in-your-business peach pie? Would you like that?"

"Maybe I would." Mark picked at his fingernails, but his feigned disinterest fooled no one. Under his aloof exterior the pup salivated at the thought of having an entire peach pie to himself.

Did she have the wolves fill out a questionnaire? And what was she doing carrying around a notebook filled with werewolf likes and dislikes?

"That's not fair. He isn't the only wolf that got hurt. How come he gets special treats?" Alan protested and a chorus of voices joined his in recounting their laundry-list of injuries. Which of them had bite and claw marks from when Bella was in her draken state.

"All right!" Bella had to shout to be heard. "Sunday I'll make a big lunch and you're all invited. Is that better?"

She was almost bowled over by their boisterous cheers.

"When are you going to leave Taylor and run away with me?" Micheal flashed a charismatic grin and Bella rolled her eyes.

"Do you want me to end up in an orange jumpsuit? You want me to go to jail?"

"I'd be worth it."

Uninhibited laughter bubbled out of her and she playfully smacked his head. "You little flirt."

"Little punk is more like it." Unable to stop himself, Jacob's upper lip peeled away from his teeth in a snarl.

"Don't you threaten this boy, Jacob Black," she said with a slight note of amusement.

"That's nothing. You should hear how he talks to me when you're not here." Micheal's sad pout resulted in Bella glaring daggers at him.

"Shame on you, Jacob," Bella scolded and Micheal hid an evil grin. The pups choked back their sniggers at the murderous expression on Jacob's face.

It was in that moment, caught between impotent rage and homicidal fantasies, Jacob had an epiphany. Micheal was the universe's payback for all the times he'd tortured Edward Cullen in the past. This was fucking karma.

After some convincing, he got her to cut the visit short. Though not before smothering Micheal (not that the bastard complained) while giving him a farewell hug. The little punk had the nerve to smirk at Jacob as he discretely nuzzled his cheek against Bella's breasts, but Jacob extracted payment for his insolence. When two wolves distracted Bella with conversation, Jacob cracked Micheal in the back of his head and rushed her out the door before the pup had the chance to rat him out.

Jacob's timely revenge didn't lessen his irritation. That Micheal only flirted with Bella to get a rise out of him meant nothing when it came to the wolf's possessiveness. The beast bristled at the indignation of watching her fawn and fuss over his wolves. Something she never did with him. A bitter, envious fog enshrouded him as he followed her into the forest. Meanwhile, Bella was lost in her own contented world, unaware of the surly wolf beside her.

"That reminds me." She put a hand on his arm, stopping him in the act of unfastening his cutoff shorts. "Leah said you have a roster schedule for patrol."

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm going to need the schedule for the wolves at my house."

"What for?"

"How else will I make my meal plans? I'd like to leave a little snack for the wolf patrolling my house," she said and Jacob sensed she left out duh on purpose.

"You shouldn't spoil them." His face must've betrayed his irritation, because she laughed.

"Sounds like somebody's jealous. What's the matter, Alpha? Don't like it when other guys eat my cupcakes?"

"No, I don't."

"Oh." Warmth suffused her face, and she licked her lips nervously. The action drew his gaze to the smooth sweep of her tongue, stopping her breath for a tension-filled moment.

Jacob recalled their kiss, the way she came to life in his arms with startling clarity and yearned for a repeat. He shook off the impulse.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" She blinked.

"Do things for the pups? It's not your responsibility to take care of them." He scowled. Imprint magic had warped her mind, compelling her until she felt as if the wolves were in need of nurturing.

Bella cocked her head to the side in a very draken-like way. "You better than anyone else knows how much those boys have had to give up. People think they're on drugs, their parents think they're in a gang, teachers think they're delinquents. No one knows that they're out there protecting people day and night. No one ever says thank you and they never will. So if a basket of food makes them feel appreciated then I'm happy to do it."

Jacob smiled to himself. He should've known better than to doubt Bella's propensity for kindness. It didn't matter if it was magic, or werewolves or vampires or hell, even draken. The idea of her doing anything against her will was ridiculous. Spoiling the wolves was all Bella.

Her soft lips curved into a mischievous grin, eyes trailed his body with a hint of challenge. "So, you gonna get naked or what?"

As they crossed the waterfall, Bella tugged on his fur and asked to get off. He shifted and together they continued the journey to her house on foot. Though the silence was a companionable one, he sensed she was gathering the courage to say something. Though curiosity tugged at him, he was content to wait and let her take the lead.

Golden rays of sunlight filtered through pine trees, bathing her in an orange glow.

"Your hair looks nice without the wig," he said, noticing how confident she acted without it. Short pixie-cut hair framed her face, drawing attention to delicate cheekbones, her wicked mouth and the soft curve of her jaw. When joined with her soft, brown eyes, she seemed much older than her twenty-three years. Then again few people could survive what she had and still keep their youthful innocence. She'd grown up, matured, and it showed. Beautiful.

She pinkened with pleasure at the compliment, her eyes sparkled, fingers stroking the smooth strands. "I've been taking a hair tonic, and it's working. Pretty soon no one will be able to see the thin spots."

After a nervous burst of laughter, she descended into heavy silence. The closer they got to her house the more pensive she became, the more he missed her sporadic blasts of conversation.

They were almost at her house when she ground to an abrupt halt. "Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to speak, you're going to stand there and listen. When I'm done, we'll both go home and that will be the end of it. Okay?"

Jacob quirked an eyebrow in question but voiced no protests.

"What happened last week can never happen again. I made a lot of mistakes in my past because I didn't know who I was but that's not the case now." She drew herself up, lengthening her spine. "I don't cheat ever. I know what that kind of betrayal feels like and I will never hurt Taylor in that way. We're not those kinds of people but…" Her features softened. "You are the love of my life."

At her confession, air left his lungs in a rush. Nothing she'd said before that mattered. Everything else shriveled like dried fruit in the sun after hearing those words. She loved him. She'd always loved him. Until then Jacob didn't know how long he'd been waiting to hear her say those words.

An inexplicable urge charged the air between them and he surged toward her. Reacting on pure instinct he seized her around the waist and tugged her close. His head dipped to kiss her, but Bella denied him, turning her face away at the last moment with a soft gasp.

Undaunted Jacob pressed a feather soft kiss to her exposed neck and felt her pulse leap beneath the heated touch of his lips, heard her soft intake of breath. As if drawn by magnets she molded her frame against him with a moan of pleasure and he nuzzled the column of her throat. He inhaled deeply, taking in the heady, intoxicating scent of vanilla mixed in with her body's natural chemistry. Then she looked at him. Brown eyes had darkened until her irises became shadowy pits of desire. Her carefully constructed mask slid away, revealing intense hunger and longing. She wanted him to kiss her again.

What he felt for Bella went far beyond mere lust and attraction. Beyond reason and sense.

Fingers splayed on her lower back, urging her closer. They barely had room to breathe but as far as he was concerned they weren't close enough. Her body curved against his and he bent to capture her lips only to meet soft fingertips. Her fingers were the only thing separating their mouths.

"Let me kiss you, Bells." Jacob said hoarsely and the hand against his mouth trembled.

"Please," she whispered, eyes screwed shut as if in agony.

"Please what?" His tongue traced her fingertips and beads of sweat broke out on her forehead.

"Please don't make me do this."

Jacob stiffened. "Do what?"

"This."

Gaze firm and resolute, she laid her palms flat against his chest and tried to push away from him. But, the wolf was not having it and his grasp on her tightened in response, holding her captive. She shoved at him again, forcing him to tramp down his primal instincts and ease his possessive grip. Face flushed and panting softly, she backed away from him and placing distance between them. Jacob own breath sounded ragged to his ears as he watched her go, battling against the instinct to pounce on her again.

Time seemed suspended as they gazed at each other, neither one of them willing to look away. A dark thought crossed Jacob's mind, and he knew that if she ran he would chase her. Practically salivating at the chance to hunt his imprint the wolf urged her to run. But she didn't. She stood stock still and stared him down as if her heart wasn't racing inside her chest.

She shoved a hand through her short locks and exhaled a harsh breath. "I meant what I said, Jacob. I made certain promises to Taylor and these days I try to keep my promises. You also made promises to Carmen and I can't… No I won't be the reason your relationship doesn't work out."

He sensed her withdrawal, erecting barriers around herself and pushing him away. The move was familiar to him as she'd done the same thing years earlier. She was scared and when Bella was scared she ran. It was classic Bella, but not this time. He'd let pride and hurt feelings stop him from pursuing her before, but he was older and wiser. She didn't get to run from him, not now, not ever.

"You still want me, Bells. Don't deny it."

"I'm not! But you're not hearing me. You still see that mess of a girl from four years ago but I'm not her anymore," she all but screamed at him. "It was supposed to be over between us and now I have all these confusing feelings. I'm not sure how things will turn out for Taylor and me but I'm committed to him. I'm asking you to respect that. Even if you think I'm wrong, even if it doesn't work out, respect me enough to let me make my own choices."

Damn if that little speech didn't make him love her more. He admired the woman she'd become. She wouldn't be the woman he loved if she didn't try her hardest to make her relationship work.

Now she'd had her say, she spun on her heels and walked away.

"Bella."

"Don't." She kept walking, her sure footsteps hastening to escape from him.

"You can't say I'm the love of your life and leave without giving me the chance—"

She spun around. "You kissed me."

"You kissed me back." Jacob reminded her.

"How is it even possible for you to do that after claiming Carmen? One time I accidentally brushed up against Sam and he nearly crawled out of his skin. Leah's the same way, and she's not even mated to Zach yet. The thought alone of kissing me should repulse you but I felt your…" Face beet-red she gestured wildly at his crotch. "That's clearly not the case. Is there something you're not telling me?"

In that moment Jacob decided to tell her the truth. The words were on the edge of his lips, but the knowledge of what would follow stopped him.

Bella would leave Taylor if he told her about the imprint.

He knew it with a certainty that bordered on the prophetic. She'd pack her things and move out of the home she shared with her gang. The pack would welcome her with open arms and they'd be blissfully happy, at first. But as time passed their lives together would become tainted by the guilt and shame at what she'd think was an unforgivable betrayal. Even if she left Taylor, his presence would continue to loom over their lives and destroy her sense of self, poisoning everything it touched. Greedy bastard that he was, Jacob wouldn't share any part of her, no matter how small, with Taylor. The thought of ripping her apart so he could claim what remained, was obscene.

When Jacob first became pack Alpha, the Great Wolf spirit appeared to him in a vision and imparted fortuitous words he'd never forget.

The time will come when you must choose between what you want and what is right.

For a long time he'd turned those words over in his mind, pondering the true meaning behind them but now he understood. Bella's happiness mattered more than his own. It was the essence of what it meant to have an imprint. If her relationship with Taylor was going to fail, he could not let himself be the reason for it. And it would fail. Of that he was certain. Whatever she and Taylor had been in the past, Bella's illness had changed them and now they no longer fit the way they used too. Until then he had to let her see the relationship through to its eventual end.

Jacob also had a mess of his own to sort through with Carmen before he could entertain the thought of starting something with Bella. He was determined that Bella's life remained untouched from the drama. He too had a relationship to see through to the end. Bella and Carmen deserved no less than that.

Though Jacob couldn't tell her about the imprint, he could be honest about his feelings. "I'm sorry I crossed the line, but I'm not sorry it happened."

"I don't understand you at all." She stared as though his words had wounded her. He couldn't give her the answers she craved, not without destroying her.

Her confession gave him the courage to give voice to the colossal error in judgment he'd made.

"What if I told you I made a mistake claiming Carmen?"

"Then it would be my job as your friend to tell you that no one's ever completely sure." She caught her mistake and smiled, giving her head a brisk shake. "That's not right. Taylor's sure. He has no doubts whatsoever that I'm the only girl for him. I guess all draken feel that way about their mates."

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked. She seemed taken aback by the question and fumbled to dredge up an answer.

She crossed her arms. "Things have been different since the cancer and then there's the kid thing."

"I remember you said he doesn't want kids." But I do, Jacob thought. Hell, he wanted a bunch of them.

"He never wants to pass on his curse so he's pinning his hopes on adoption instead." She looked sad at that. "I know it's love and not blood that makes a family but I'm so disappointed. It's not where I thought my life would be at this stage. You make all these plans for your life and then cancer changes everything. And while I'm still mourning the life we lost, Taylor's barreling full steam ahead into the future. It's scary but I'm not ready to walk away from our relationship."

"Carmen hasn't adjusted to pack life at all. She's not happy with the way things are, but I don't know how to fix it." Or if their relationship could even be fixed.

"You obviously saw something in her or else you wouldn't have claimed her. Only you can decide if what you have is worth fighting for." Her brown eyes softened with sympathy.

Jacob could no longer hide from the truth anymore. Despite his love for Carmen, he'd stayed with her this long for his pack. His goal had been to offer an alternative to imprinting by showing them the way to a life of their own choosing. Things hadn't worked out the way he'd planned. What was once a fun, uncomplicated relationship had become one tainted by resentment and anger. For far too long he'd made excuses for Carmen, telling himself things would work themselves out. Though Carmen wanted to be with him, she was content enough to abdicate her Alpha female responsibilities.

"You'll stop with the kissing, right?" Her twitchy fingers played with the edges of her jacket.

Jacob's long strides quickly ate up the distance between them. With burgeoning reluctance, Bella tilted her head, her unreadable gaze riveted to his face. He cupped her face with both hands and she startled at the intimate contact.

"The next time I kiss you, Bells, it will be because you asked me to." A dangerously wolfish grin stretched across his face.

Bella flinched out of his grasp, eyes narrowing as if he played a trick on her. She made a few attempts at speech only to throw her hands up in frustration and walk away.

"Bells." He waited until she looked at him. "I love you too."

She gazed at him with a mixture of desire and sadness, her eyes saying everything she could not. She loved him, he loved her back. For now it would have to be enough.

Jacob watched Bella return to the home she shared with another man. For the first time in years he felt a sense of hope and well-being. Somehow he knew the day would come when they'd finally have their chance. Until that momentous day the wolf was content to wait. He shifted and made the journey back to the res with driven focus and determination in his steps. He and Carmen were going to talk, and she was damn well going to listen this time.

Bella closed the kitchen door and sank against it with a weary sigh.

She couldn't believe how close she'd come to letting Jacob kiss her again. So close to betraying Taylor. The first kiss had taken her by surprise and pitched her into fevered delirium. If she didn't know any better she'd have sworn he drugged her. She'd never lost herself so completely with anyone before. If her seizure hadn't happened when it did, they would've reached the point of no return.

Even now, apart from crushing guilt, her body continued to throb with want and heightened awareness. The way his dark eyes hungrily raked her body from head to toe, as if he wanted to devour her on the spot, ignited terror and excitement. He was much more confident and aggressive than she remembered. Almost as though he knew something she didn't. That near kiss had such a profound effect on her and almost toppled her rapidly diminishing self control.

It wasn't as though she no longer loved Taylor. She was wise enough to know that loving one person didn't mean she'd stopped loving the other. Taylor was her rock, her heart, and they shared an unbreakable spiritual connection. And yet there was an undeniable pull between her and Jacob that could only be described as destiny. That he'd claimed someone else didn't lessen what she felt for him. It was the fierceness of her attraction to Jacob that confused and frightened her.

God what it had cost her to resist him and stay faithful to Taylor.

Though her mate was many things, a fool wasn't one of them. After coming out of her seizure, she woke at the Cullen house to find him studying her face through narrowed eyes. When she had the chance to see her reflection, she noted her lips, still bruised and swollen from Jacob's kisses. She kept waiting for him to ask what had happened after he left her with Jacob at the waterfall but he never did. What she told Jacob was true, she never intended to cross the line with him again. Taylor could forgive her that small indiscretion, but his priest like forgiveness had its limits. He wouldn't tolerate her cheating on him.

Putting Jacob and his heated gaze firm from her thoughts, Bella shoved away from the door and swayed on her feet. Out of nowhere a wave of nausea slammed into her and sent her scrambling for the kitchen sink. She made it as the violent retching began. Hot spurts of vomit burned her throat and splashed against the stainless steel bowl. After the heaving stopped, the strength went out of her knees. The room spun around her as she sank to the ground, sliding down the oak cabinet door as she went.

At least Taylor wasn't around to see her throw up this time. Throwing up twice during her stay at the Cullen house had sparked his overprotective nature. He only backed off once Carlisle attributed her upset stomach to the trauma of returning to human form.

Gripping the counter top, she hauled herself to her shaky feet and froze.

Carlisle had called her nausea a fluke. Nothing to worry about, he'd said. But it had happened again and this time she caught several flecks of blood among her regurgitated lunch.

Blood.

Ignoring the fear churning in her stomach, she washed the sour taste of vomit from her mouth and used the detachable nozzle to hose the sink clean.

Her right back pocket vibrated with an incoming call and she answered with a raspy voice she barely recognized as her own.

Unfortunately Carlisle's super hearing detected the change. "Bella, are you all right? Your voice sounds different."

Bella cleared her aching throat. "I'm fine."

"Is Taylor or anyone else there with you?" Carlisle asked. He spoke in a pleasant and even toned voice, but his urgency bled through.

Bella stiffened with alarm. It was a tone she recognized all too well and transported her back to a time when Carlisle had known she was dying, but was reluctant to admit it. Instead, he threw himself into his research, desperately searching for a way to buy her more time. More time, even though his experiments hurt, even though they had to hold her down, even though the radiation had scorched and blackened her scalp. Her life had become a perpetual nightmare in which quality ceased to matter and quantity reigned supreme. Maybe in his own way, Carlisle had joined Alice in her madness back then. Maybe Alice's madness had been as contagious as chicken pox.

"Taylor and the others are on their way back from Seattle. Is something wrong?"

"I didn't want you to be alone when I gave you the news," Carlisle murmured, speaking more to himself than to Bella.

"Carlisle, you're scaring me."

"It's best if you pack a bag and come back to the house. I'll explain everything once you're here." The false cheeriness in his voice worsened her anxiety.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

Silence.

"Did you find something in my tests?"

"I found some… abnormal cells."

Her stomach sank. "Is it cancer?"

"You're still in remission but the sooner you're here, the quicker we can come up with a treatment plan."

"I don't understand. If the cancer's not back—"

Carlisle didn't let her finish. "Have you experienced any strange symptoms lately?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I feel fine." Bella swallowed against the hard lump in her throat. The hand holding the phone against her ear shook. Her fourth tremor for the day. The shooting pains in her stomach came and went. Now she was puking up blood, but she didn't dare tell him about any of it. For a few days now she'd known there was something wrong.

"Please come as soon as you can, Bella. Time is of the essence."

Fear formed a frigid knot in her stomach.

"Am I dying, Carlisle?" she made herself ask.

He remained silent for so long she thought he'd hung up on her.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

Carlisle said more but the furious pounding of her heart in her ears drowned out his words. A curious numbness set in she stammered out a lame excuse before hanging up on Carlisle.

She was dying.

She jumped when the phone in her hand vibrated with Carlisle's impending call and she forced her clumsy fingers into action, switching off the device.

There in the startling silence of her home, Bella let herself fall apart. She uttered a strangled sob, slumping to the floor and curled into the fetal position. Her eyes screwed shut and her fists clenched until the knuckles whitened and cracked. The dam burst and she dissolved into hot tears of utter despair.

It wasn't fair.

Bella could not allow herself to die now. Not when there were so many things to do. She had a large meal to plan for the wolves on Sunday. She and Leah had yet to choose suppliers for the cafe, and they had a barista seminar in Seattle to attend in the coming weeks. Grief and sadness seized her when she realized she'd die before Bellee's Cafe open its doors in the spring.

Get it together, Bella snapped at herself. She pushed herself upright, using her sleeves to wipe at her face in disgust. Bawling on the cold floor like a baby never solved anything. She was stronger than this.

Though Carlisle wanted her to become a patient again, she planned to continue living her life as she always did. Whatever happened, she would not spend the reminder of her days, shackled to a hospital bed being subjected to painful tests and examinations. She refused to put Taylor and her friends through a repeat performance of the nightmare that was once her life. It was not how she wanted to be remembered. And that meant she couldn't tell anyone what was happening to her. Despair and isolation encased her, threatening to drag her into depression but she gave herself a mental slap. She couldn't afford to fall apart now.

Two years ago when she was lying on her deathbed, she regretted not fighting hard enough for what she wanted and going along with everyone else's plans. Taylor begged her to do chemo, so she did. When Alice decided that quarantined was best for her health, she went along with it. When everything they tried failed and Carlisle turned to his horrific experimental treatments, she couldn't refuse without letting her friends down.

So concerned with keeping her alive, no one bothered to ask what she wanted. They forgot she was still a person trapped inside that dying, cancer riddled body they were so eager to drill and cut into. If she was going to die, it would be on her terms and no one else's. She wouldn't let herself become that broken shell of a person again. No one could know she was dying. It was the only way to ensure she'd die with dignity.

At least she could depend Carlisle to honor doctor-patient confidentiality. Of all the unethical things he'd done to save her life, that was one line he'd never cross.

Decision made, she picked herself off the floor and went to wash her face. By the time Taylor and her friends returned from their day in Seattle, she was in the middle of cooking dinner and had a firm grip on her chaotic emotions. Carlisle had filled up her voicemail with messages she deleted without playing. She considered herself a success for being able to get through chopping up vegetables with only two hysterical crying jags under her belt.

The door slammed and Ryan hollered, "We're home!"

Not long afterward Taylor's strong arms snaked around her waist, hugging her from behind. "You had a good visit with your dad?"

"We did a lot of catching up." Setting the knife on the cutting board, she turned in his arms to welcome him home with a soft kiss on the lips.

"Hmm, you smell like parsley." He smiled, his hands traveled down her back. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too." He'd been out of sorts when she'd insisted on spending the day at Charlie's instead of going sightseeing in Seattle like they'd planned weeks earlier. Though he hadn't understood, he swallowed his protests and respected her need for solitude.

"I'm starving, Izzy. What's for dinner?" Ryan asked after unceremoniously dumping Liz's shopping bags on the ground.

"Spaghetti, meatballs and apple tart for dessert," Bella said even as Ryan started inspecting the oven and its contents. "Didn't you have a big lunch in Seattle?"

"What's your point?" Ryan looked at her in genuine confusion.

"Don't bother, Izzy. The guy's a garbage disposal." Liz leaned over to set her shopping bags upright, unaware she'd presented her mate with a chance for mischief.

"A sexy garbage disposal." Ryan's face split into a slow rakish grin as he stealthily crept up behind Liz, fingers wriggling with anticipation. He landed a pinch on her butt and earned himself a smack for his antics. This triggered a playful scuffle that ended with Ryan chasing a giggling Liz up the stairs.

A smile tugged at Bella's mouth when she envisioned what their lives would be like as a happily married couple. Wrenching agony flared when the realization dawned that she wouldn't live to see their wedding or meet their kids. That she'd never have children of her own, adopted or otherwise. Two hours before she'd been bitching to Jacob and now her life was ending. There were so many things she'd never experience, never get to do. Once again she was on the receiving end of a cruel cosmic joke. She turned back to the counter so Taylor wouldn't see the tears glistening in her eyes.

Taylor's hands came to knead her slender shoulders, gently breaking up the knot of tension she carried there. Her eyes rolled shut under his tender administrations and for a moment she forgot her abject misery. His presence warmed her back, and she drew comfort in his understated strength.

They'd be crushed to know that she'd hid this from them. Without question she knew they wouldn't understand the choice she was making. Especially Jacob. Thinking about him hurt the most. Now they didn't even have the unspoken promise of someday.

To soothe her guilty conscience, Bella decided to be honest about at least one thing she'd done today.

"I saw Jacob."

"Jacob?" Immediately Taylor withdrew from her, taking his warmth with him.

Bella inhaled a fortifying breath and faced his furrowed stare. A flash of pain rippled across his features, making her despise herself for putting it there. Then a mask of indifference slid over his face and a chord of guilt tugged at her heart. He was preparing to hear that she'd betrayed him again.

"He dropped by Charlie's and we got to talking about Micheal. So I went over to Jake's and brought him pot roast."

"Micheal, huh? How is he?" Taylor asked, his expression guarded and watchful.

"Still recovering, but he and Jacob are getting on each other's last nerve." She offered a wan smile. He did not return it. "I promised to cook a Sunday lunch for the wolves as an apology for all the trouble I caused."

"Then what?" Green eyes burned a hole in her face.

"He dropped me off, we talked a little and then he left."

"Did anything else happen?"

The question threatened to widen the chasm that suddenly wormed its way between them. Bella was grateful she'd done nothing else to warrant more guilt and shame.

"Nothing else happened," she assured while Taylor searched her face, weighing the truth of her words.

"I've tried being patient because I know how much you hate being pressured. You haven't had much chance to tell him everything, I get that. But the longer you put it off, the more I wonder." His gaze scalded her alive, stealing the breath from her lungs.

"Wonder what?" Her voice trembled.

"Why haven't you told Jacob the truth about us? Unless you're starting to regret—"

"I could never regret that, Taylor." The heart inside her chest ached and constricted at the thought of hurting him. Awareness that she had the power to break him. She chose to stay with Taylor for the simple fact that while Jacob could and had survived losing her, Taylor couldn't. Leaving him would mean breaking every promise she'd ever made him. It would destroy him and she loved him too much to let that happen. Bella Swan was done breaking people.

They filled the silence with words both said and unsaid.

"Are we okay, Isabella?" Will you leave me for another man?

"We're okay." I won't.

The warmth in his smile shattered the thick tension that lay between them. Relief and gratitude surged through her, making her head spin from a sudden lightness. She longed to fling herself into his arms and shower him with kisses. Anything to soothe the pain and fear she'd caused him. Still it would take more than sex to heal the fissure in their relationship. In the grand scheme of things their problems seemed minuscule in the face of her impending death. She didn't want to spend the little time she had left fighting.

Taylor was right, she had to tell Jacob the truth. In trying to keep everyone happy, she hadn't been fair to either man. Though it would make Jacob hate her, he deserved to hear the full story before she died.

After several moments of silence, Taylor felt a need to let the matter drop.

"Have you heard from Carlisle?"

"He gave me a clean bill of health. My tests came back fine." She fixed a smile on her face and prayed he wouldn't sniff out her outrageous lie.

Taylor's eyes closed with relief and he drew her to him, gathering her in a tight embrace. She laid her head against his chest and listened to the reassuring beat of his heart. It was easy to pretend she was safe from the world when he held her like this. If only it were true.

"I knew it would be good news. We finally turned a corner, Isabella. From here on out it's only sunny skies," Taylor said with a smile in his voice.

"Sunny skies," Bella whispered against the searing pain in her stomach and blinked away the furious sting of tears.

A/N: For those who are curious, this story will not be the 60 chapter mammoth AML was, though MSCML chapters are much longer. I'm aiming to complete this story in 15 chapters. The upcoming chapters will be emotionally difficult to write.

Review and receive your teasers.