"Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realise that it was you who held me under
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
All around the world was waking, I never could go back
Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
Snow White's stitching up the circuitboards
Synapse slipping through the hidden door
Snow White's stitching up the circuitboard
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
Snow White's stitching up the circuitboards
Synapse slipping through the hidden door
Snow White's stitching up the circuitboard
Synapse slipping through the hidden door"
~Blinding love by Florence and the Machine
He thought of her continually. He believed he was being childish again when he was alone and imagined talking to her when he was in the mirror, he saw her face through his vanity. Her green, dazzling eyes, her expression kind and smiling towards him.
"Do not be afraid" He told himself when he envisioned taking her hand and leading her to the altar. He did not want anybody to touch her. He wanted her to be all his.
Such was his delusion that he did not hear the screams and cries from his father when the news reached them.
"What do you mean she fell?"
"Your Grace I am not allowed to tell you much, Her Majesty is well now the Lady Mary is taking care of her now, she is with the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Earl of Northumber"
"You mean Northumbeland"
"Aye yes sorry Your Grace" What did he know? He was an ignorant, poor creature from humble beginnings. He did not posses the grace, the looks or the good fortune of being blessed despite his initial status, with God's wisdom to win over a King's daughter. He was nobody and he apologized to His Grace's several times before Eustace grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against the wall.
"Where is SHE right now?"
"Your Grace the Lady Mary is with her"
"You told me that already, can't I get a straight answer where is SHE RIGHT NOW?"
The servant paled. His wife soothed him and he let go of the poor man. Elizabeth addressed the useless servant and asked him, kindlier, where the Queen was residing.
Visibly calmer he answered "Your Majesty is in her usual apartments just three doors down from Your Graces'."
"You are dismissed Tim"
Tim breathed a sigh of relief and hurried out of the room. He did not need to be told twice. Elizabeth turned to her husband, he was getting ready to see his daughter. "What are you going to do? Interrupt her meeting with the bunch of vultures? The Earl will take advantage of this opportunity, you are not a man in any position to demand your Queen anything"
"I am her father and this news of the accident sounds very suspicious"
"Then let me go with you, you are not going to go alone"
"Elizabeth" he said putting on his winter furrs "you need to stay here, watch for any sign danger I will come back soon I promise"
"Eustace" but he was already out of the room. She grumbled and took out her frustration at the servants as she ordered to pack only the necessary. Anthony saw the mess of her clothes lying on the floor as her ladies were emptying her closet and turned to his mother, asking: "What is the meaning of all of this?"
She supposed the news did not travel fast these days.
"Her Majesty just had an accident she fell down the stairs, don't worry the Lord in all his wisdom has granted her and the royal children his divine protection"
Anthony paled. Noticing his father's abscence for the first time he asked about his whereabouts.
Elizabeth waved her hand dismissively "You do not need to fret my son, he's gone to your sis ... your cousin to see how she is doing. Her Majesty is keeping company with the Earl of Northumbeland, Archbishop Cranmer, and your Aunt Mary. Why I cannot fathom but she is" Elizabeth said shortly thanking herself for not saying the word 'sister' and composing herself quickly before she made that awful mistake that would have put all their lives in peril.
"Can I go?" A voice across the room asked. George had just entered the room, his big brown eyes were opened widely, listening intently to their conversation. "Can I go mother? Her Majesty will need..."
Elizabeth cut him off before he could finish "Her Majesty is fine where she is and if there is any sign of danger or irregularity your father and all of us will move to Westminster with Her Majesty"
She was having another of her furious rants, George knw better than to get in her way. Anthony patted his brother's head which George hated as much as when he called him "Georgie boy" and led his brother to their room where they waited for hours to hear the news of their sister's condition.
The Archbishop of Cranmer and the Earl of Northumbeland who regretted that he'd not been appointed immediately as Regent for Her Highness upon learning about the accident. His disappointment was now more evident when he'd been told that the bastard woman had not died but lived and her children too it seemed according to the physician atop of that! Annie reassured the Archbishop who was suffocating her with questions of her children's welfare and his prayers that she and the children, their long for prayed male heir, was fine.
"Please I am fine, there is no need" she paused when she spotted her father in the room "no need for all of this the royal physician assured me that the royal children are safe"
"Your Majesty you must ask for another opinion, the man is very old if you allow me you could borrow my physician"
"Borrow? I am a Queen I do not borrow, I take remember that my lord. Everything that is in this land belongs to the King and seeing as there is none yet, the responsibility falls on my shoulders"
"Your Majesty I am sorry if I offended you" The Earl excused himself and suddenly became obscured by her father and the Archbishop.
Thomas Cranmer decided to approached Her Majesty with a more subtle manner "Your Majesty the Earl as well as I mean well, we are worried for your welfare and that of your children, we will not rush you to do anything unwise but the question remains about the succession. The members in the council grow very uneasy" He said tactly.
Annie frowned, that again. "I will call on my parliament as soon as I am back on my feet" It was not the best way to say it but she felt at a loss of words as the images of the previous night came flodding back.
She heard several protests from them but her next words made the decision final "I will adress Parliament next week and let us pray for the safety of the King I carry inside"
If it is indeed a Prince -the Earl thought but hid his thoughts like the rest of his colleagues very well. Cranmer not all convinced with the Queen Dowager's conviction inquired as to her mental state something that Annie took it as the highest of all offenses.
"You Archbishop your realm is in the church and that realm yours was appointed by two men, one you despised and the second our late king's father so you should remember that your appointment depends solely on your behavior to your betters"
Cranmer clicked his lips, the way a fanatical man would have done but the Queen had hit one high note and he knew he needed to thread carefully with this sovereign. He made a mental prayer after he and the rest were dismissed that God grant Eternal peace and wisdom on England and let the harlot's granddaughter, Katherine of Aragon's granddaughter, perish for she was the product of a sinful union like her mother's and in the eyes of God nothing stained of lies and sin must remain. Yet for the time being his prayers would be directed at her welfare for the sake of their unborn King.
"If there is nothing else you my lords wish to discuss with me or that carries high importance I suggest you all leave now immediately"
The lords knew better than to put resistance. Everyone save her father left the room. Her mother was nowhere to be seem and for that she was glad. She said that she had to tell her ladies and prepare to care for her the time being, Annie could not be happier. She needed to spend time with her father and if the timing was good, she would tell her father everything but at the moment her nerves were getting the best of her and she was too nervous to talk. Finally she found her courage.
"Father"
"What happened?" Eustace asked although he already had his suspicions, walking to her bed he placed his hand on her swollen belly. He breathed a sigh of relief to feel her children moving again, soothed by his touch.
Annie avoided his eyes, she did not want those mysterious eyes unearthing the dark secret.
"I fell" she said simply shrugging her shoulders in the most careless manner.
"How?" He asked patiently and softly making no sign of his frustration for his daughter's reluctance.
"I-I came on one of the loose floorboards on your cottage a-and ... I was there to see if I could see if I could hire designers to fix it for later ... a-and there must have been a crack there for the next thing I knew I slipped and fell backwards"
He smiled "You are lying" he said "I can always tell when you are lying."
Annie shrunk and grew nervous, she lowered her gaze as she briefly made contact with her father's eyes. She did not want him to find out. Wasn't this your intention? Her mind racked. Don't you want to be free of your mother?
No, no, she battled with her conscience. I don't want to be free, I just want to go home. More than ever she realized how naive she'd was to think she could win the game of thrones. There was no winning here, she was helpless, her mother had seen through her fears like she had many years ago at Hundson and she exploited them. It was her fault she was in this position.
"No, no" she said forcing herself to look at him, she cleared her mind from all her unwanted thoughts, quickly adding that "it was me, I-I fell, honestly father I just fell, it was very stupid really. I fell but I am fine"
Eustace could see there was more but he decided not to press. "Well good because I would have died of grief if something would have happened to you"
"Honestly father you do not need to worry about me, I am fine, the children are still kicking"
In that moment that her mind had convinced her to tell him the truth in that brief pause she made, the door was opened. Their lovely scene was interrupted by her mother and Philip who came running by her side. Tears streaming down her mother's eyes she swung her arms against her daughter and kissed her forehead repeatedly and her cheeks.
"Oh Annie, oh my God Annie, thank God you were right, I was so worried when I heard. Thank God me and your father were on our way home, why didn't you tell us you were visiting your uncle's cottage dear. You worried us so much. Are you fine? Are they treating you well?"
"Mother please I am fine, I fell ... please you do not need to overwhelm me with your embrace"
"Oh Annie me and your father we're so worried."
"I am fine mother really and I am sorry father" she said meeting Philip's eyes "for worrying you so much" Annie trembled in her mother's embrace her eyes were wide and her whole body was shaking.
Eustace wanted to roll his life. The womanw was obviously faking it. Eustace who'd grown all his life around actors could see that it was just another act. He'd seen many men and women do the same but the important question was why now? And why was Annie so scared? She had never been scared of her mother, she had confronted her on many ocassions, she did not have any need to feel nervous by her prescence? She hadn't before what had changed then? And that is when focusing on the 'now' and the 'then' Eustace began to put all the pieces together and he realized what she'd done and in that moment he felt nothing but deep hatred for Mary but he kept it hidden behind a mask of neutrality.
"The Queen Dowager needs her rest the physician recommended that she does so for her children"
"All right Annie, call me if you need anything, my chambers have been moved next door to yours. I am here for everything you need"
"Yes mother" She said.
A knot formed in her throat when Philip touched with his fingertips her cheeks and leaned forward to kiss them "We are counting on you Annie, we know you will make us very proud, take care my daughter"
Eustace felt like he was going to be sick but he was silenced. His gaze followed the couple to the door.
"It was she wasn't it?" He asked, his gaze returning to her once they left.
"No, no, no of course not." She said quickly and then she added a little laugh to convince her father "How could you think that father? She is my mother, she'd never do that, I fell I told you" But even she could tell it was a lie.
Eustace cupped her face in his hands and said "You are Annie Chapuys, you are not afriad of her, of them, of anyone." then he let go of her face and added as she shook her head "And more importantly I know what she did and I promise you Annie she will never harm you again. Ever. I made that promise when you were a child and I was ready to kill"
"Please I just fell ... leave it at that"
"No Annie, I can't. Your mother is just going to keep taking advantage and I can't let her. I thought once she had changed and I was wrong, but I am here and I will make sure she never comes near you again as God as my witness"
"Please don't mention God, I don't believe in God anymore" If he was real why did he let this happen? Why did he let her suffer? Why did he gave her a mother who hated her?
Eustace cringed at her tone "But you should Annie for your children and you are alive because of him. Your children's lives are a miracle Annie, he believes in you, he wants you to get better. And leave your mother to me."
Annie recognized the seirousness in his tone, her eyes widened in alarm and looked more pleadingly at his. She took her hand in his and implored "Just let this pass alright? Please for me? Let this slide I fell, I just fell"
"No Annie your mother had done many wrongs by her anger and resentment towards me at you but not this time, not this time. God is already punishing her for her sins. He took her son Henry her only hope and pride from her. I will not make her pay for she is paying already, nothing in this life goes unpunished. She will never change and if I let this pass she will just keep terrorizing you. No"
"She is mother, isn't that what you said to me when she tried to take me from Hatfield once? That she had changed and she was incapable of such feelings?" SHe said with contempt remembering her father had once swallowed her lies and her crocodile tears.
Eustace's eyes grew remorseful "Aye, I did and I am sorry Annie very sorry. I was wrong then, I really believed your mother had changed" He knew better now and he was not going to let Mary harm his little girl again. "I can't promise you that I won't hurt her. What she did to you is inexcusable but she is paying Annie and she will continue paying. God will take everything she loves from her but if she nears you, you can't blame me for what I will do if she lays another finger against you"
Her children began to kick wildly urging their mother to take a decision. She grew frustrated with their incessant kicking and mentally shouted at them to stop but they didn't. They continued kicking and kicking and her father wasn't making things easier.
She suddenly thought of the future for nothing made sense anymore. What if what her father said was true and God did have a plan for her children? What if that plan did not involve her?
She had to make things right. "I need to ask you something"
"Anything." He said "Just don't ask me about your mother because I can't promise you anything there"
"No" she interrupted "it is not that it is about my children, your grandchildren. If anything should happen to me"
"Nothing will happen to you" he said firmly.
"Now who is being naive father?" she said snorting, she composed herself and continued dictating her will to her father "If anything should happen to me I want you to be the Lord Protector and Bess the Governor and Regent in your absence should any of the children be a boy or Diana becomes Queen."
"I will look over but seriously Annie" he said with full confidence "nothing will happen to you"
"In case it does" Annie repeated "I need you to promise me. Promise me" She said more strongly.
"I promise"
Father and daughter embraced each other and she spilled tears on his neck ruff for the children she would never know and her daughter she would never get to see set sail to her new home where her husband would receive her and marry her and she would become Queen of his great nation.
After a while Annie came under the conclusion that she like her mother, was not meant for happiness and she regretted for she asked her God what ever did she do to deserve such fate?