Hard at work on the next chapter for you guys and I hope to have it up by the end of the week. :)
Holiday Spirit
Chapter 25
It wasn't the light or the cold that woke David the next morning, and for a moment, he lay there confused, trying to figure out what had pulled him from sleep. It didn't take long for him to figure out that Regina was once again wrapped in his arms. It was the shaking of her body that had woken him. He was careful not to move and give away that he was awake. He could just barely see the clock from his position, but he could see it was still several hours 'til sunrise.
Several minutes passed as Regina continued to cry, but David held himself back from comforting her. He had the feeling she wouldn't appreciate it and she'd pull away. At least right now his presence and the arm he had wrapped around her waist could be a form of comfort.
When her crying had died down slightly, he felt her arm slide along his and then her fingers were intertwining with his own. He let his arm be deadweight as she pulled their now joined hands up against her chest. Letting out a content sigh, he nuzzled his face down into her hair as reassurance. For a second when she stiffened, he worried he'd given away that he was awake, but she relaxed again and he closed his eyes. He'd grown used to this even though it had only been a few days, and he didn't' want it to end. She fit so perfectly in his arms, and he slept better than he had in a long time when he was with her. He'd grown used to her laugh, her smile; he'd even miss her irritable moods. And as he breathed in, the smell that was part her shampoo, part her reached him and he knew he'd miss everything about her. He couldn't just give up on them the way she'd done, but he didn't know how to show her that he could – and more importantly, would – make it work.
He didn't know a lot about her, but he knew enough of her past to know that if he went for it, there could be no halfway. She'd been hurt too many times to have him change his mind and back out on her. And he was realizing more and more that he was in it for the long run. Suddenly, being separated from Snow didn't seem like such a bad thing. And her being with Derek didn't bother him. All that mattered now was finding a way to show Regina that she could have a happy ending, and that he was a part of it.
It was after midnight now – Christmas Eve. He wondered how much longer the spell would last. He also wondered if it was even possible for him to convince Regina of his feelings while it was still in place. As long as she had the crutch of the spell, she could blame his feelings – and hers – on what it had created. But he wondered how they could continue now with her in the dark place their discussion had put her in. They'd been doing so well, working toward being a real family, and instead of helping them move forward as they and Archie had anticipated, honest conversation seemed to have set them back several steps. He was afraid, too, but he knew Regina did not deal with fear the same way others did. He now dreaded that she'd let it keep them from ever moving forward.
Laying there in the dark, he felt Regina's hand relax its grip on his as she drifted to sleep, and it suddenly struck him. He'd grown past caring deeply for this woman; he was in love with her.
Regina was unsurprisingly gone when David woke up in the morning. He hadn't expected her to linger after the day before. He took his time getting ready, thinking she'd probably appreciate the space. He didn't want to push her – not until he knew what he was going to do.
The sounds of laughter and shouting reached him as soon as he'd stepped foot into the hallway, drifting up from the kitchen. Halfway down the stairs, he was pleased to recognize the sound of Regina's rich laughter mixed in. Maybe she was feeling better and sleep had helped calm her fears.
No such luck he realized when she looked up as he entered. It flashed through her eyes before she was able to hide it behind a smile. "Good morning."
"Morning," he greeted. "What is this?" He moved to stand next to her where she was looking over the twins' shoulders at a complete mess on the table. He nearly jumped in surprise when she leaned into him, casually wrapping her arm around his waist. It was like a jolt of electricity and for a moment, he almost forgot she was putting on a show for the children.
In truth, so had Regina. She hadn't missed the spark, either, and it only made it more painful. She'd awoken in the middle of the night, from a perfect dream that had become a nightmare upon waking.
David stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle.
"They're kicking again!" he exclaimed joyfully, resting his hands on her stomach.
"They're always kicking," she said with exhausted amusement.
"Well, they're not inside me, I don't get to feel it like you do."
"I'll trade you."
She felt his laughter more than heard it as he held her closer. "I thought you enjoyed being pregnant. You went on and on about it with Isabella."
"Yes, well with the twins it's different. I'm only five months, David, and I'm almost as big as I was at eight with her. And they move around constantly – I can't get a moment's peace except when I'm sleeping."
"Which we decided was a good thing," he reminded her. "At least they're on the same schedule as you and you can get a decent night's sleep."
"True, but I wouldn't mind an hour here and there when I'm awake to spend with you without them reminding me quite actively that they're there."
He loosened his grip on her to turn her so she was facing him. "Not much longer and you'll have plenty of time with me, just the two of us."
"Or none at all," she pointed out. "And four months doesn't seem long if you're not the one with two babies growing inside you."
"Two," he said happily. He bent down to kiss her stomach. "Two more babies." He stood up and kissed her forehead. "You're amazing." Leaning his forehead against hers, he whispered, "I love you."
She tilted her head up toward his, feeling the familiar electricity between them as they grew closer.
Regina had woken with a start, her fingers reaching up to touch her mouth. She'd felt his breath, felt the tingle between them, but the dream had been cut off before their lips touched. It had all felt so intensely real; she'd let her hand drift to her stomach, where if she closed her eyes, she could almost still feel the twins kicking. And that's when she'd lost it. She'd felt David holding her in his sleep, and it made her think of everything she could have had if things had turned out differently.
Snapping back into the moment, she looked up at David who was watching her with concern, and she remembered he'd asked her a question. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"I was wondering what all of this is," he repeated, gesturing at the table. "It looks like the entire contents of our cupboards."
"Close," she told him, brushing off the feelings remembering the dream had brought to the surface. "We're making Christmas Eve breakfast."
"This is a breakfast?" he wondered, looking at the hodgepodge of food items on the table. He could spot a few boxes of cereal and a container of milk, but they were mixed in with lunch meats, various condiments, a plate of cookies, crackers, pasta noodles, spaghetti sauce and a multitude of other items that did not belong in a breakfast setting.
"It started off that way. Things got a little out of hand," she admitted. "They're looking for things with a Christmas theme or that can be decorated that way."
"For Santa!" Oliver shouted, and Ellie nodded enthusiastically.
"Santa's stopping by for breakfast?" David asked, looking at Regina with a smile and a raised eyebrow.
"They're deciding what looks and tastes best before tonight so they're ready."
"Ahh. Well that makes perfect sense!" He plucked Ellie off her chair, stealing it for himself and settling her in his lap. "What've you got so far?"
Regina stepped back and watched for a while, leaning against the counter and sipping her coffee. She felt calmer than she had the day before, but not any less upset. The dream had shaken her, but David's presence had helped, even though he'd been asleep. It bothered her that he could calm her down, and she felt the prickling of panic watching as he made it all look so possible. She was at war with herself, wanting it all so badly, but so afraid of it that she didn't want it to work. She definitely was more in control today, able to think more logically and less emotionally, which she appreciated, but wondered if David's presence had something to do with as well. Everything was so double-edged with him and it made it all the more confusing.
Ben started wiggling in his chair, so Regina moved to pick him up and she took him to the living room where she sat on the floor and then set him down to crawl. He moved about happily, stopping every once in a while to slap his hands against the floor. When he'd moved a little further from her, she called his name softly.
He swiveled his head to look back at her, teetering on his hands a bit. He smiled widely and she waved.
"Where are you going?" she asked him. "Hmm?"
He turned around, pausing to look up at her before giggling and putting his head down to crawl back over to her.
She leaned her back against the edge of the couch behind her and brought her knees up. When Ben reached her, she lifted him and set him so his back rested against her thighs. She bounced him lightly, taking his arms and playing with him.
"We needed to stretch our legs a bit, huh? You just have so much energy."
He laughed and grinned at her and she found herself tracing his features lightly with one hand as she continued bouncing him. "I will never get used to how much you look like us," she told him quietly, marveling at how greatly he resembled both David and herself for the hundredth time since first seeing him. "And I'll tell you a secret; I don't want any of this to stop. I want to see you and your brothers and sisters everyday. I want all of you and your daddy's not so bad, either." She watched as he blinked at her, continuing to smile as if he could understand her, and she sighed. "I hate not being in control. More than I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I wish everything were easy like it probably is for you," she added playfully. "Is it? Hmm? No cares in the world but eating, sleeping and being played with. That must be nice. Let's trade places, what do you think?"
"I think you'd probably get kind of bored."
She looked around at the voice to find Henry standing at the edge of the couch. He smiled at her and moved around to sit next to her on the floor.
"Henry," she started, still feeling guilty for the day before and the way she'd spoken to him.
He stopped her. "It's okay, mom. We already talked about it. And I get it. You're more freaked out by everything than I am."
She raised her eyebrows. "I come across as freaked out?"
He shook his head. "No. I mean, yeah...to me. But I know you like, really well, so I notice those things."
She sighed and returned her focus to Ben, though she was still talking to Henry when she asked. "So how much did you hear?"
He cringed. "A lot. Sorry. I didn't mean to be listening that long."
"It's alright."
"Do you think...Do you think I'll ever actually have brothers and sisters?" he asked hesitatnly. "I mean, not with David, maybe, but like, ever, with anyone?"
"Oh, Henry, I dont' know." She sighed. "I would really like to have that, but...well, my future has never turned out the way I planned."
"It's kinda that way for everyone, though," he pointed out. "Isn't that how it works?"
She gave a light, sad laugh. "Darling, you are far too young to be that cynical."
He frowned at the word. "What does cynical mean?"
At that, she truly smiled. "Well it appears all is not lost. Stay young while you can, sweetheart. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. You can have everything you want - I only wish you could stay a child forever."
He wrinkled his nose. "I don't."
She let out a real laugh. "Let's get back in there with everyone. We should be enjoying it while we still have it."
He nodded and stood. "I can take Ben," he said, reaching out for his brother.
Ben clapped as Henry lifted him, patting Henry's cheeks when he was close enough, and letting out a string of baby words, chattering away to Henry as Regina pulled herself to her feet.
"Well, he certainly has something to say to you," she told him.
"He's just trying to warn us that the kitchen's an even bigger mess than it was when you left it."
"Oh, is it?" she asked, eyes narrowing, but wearing a playful smile. "Someone's in trouble."
Two hours later, the kitchen was finally back to its natural state, and Regina sat exhaustedly at the table, head resting down on her arms as she took a few seconds to herself.
David was upstairs helping everyone into a change of clothes that weren't covered in flour, frosting, batter and food coloring.
Regina looked up at the pile of sugar cookies and cupcakes in the middle of the table, all decorated for Christmas. After a brief pause, she reached out, snagging a less frosted sugar cookie. It was halfway to her mouth when she heard, "Uh-oh. Mommy's stealing cookies."
She rolled her eyes as David stepped into the kitchen with a toddler on each hip and Isabella behind him.
The twins clapped a hand over their mouths dramatically as Isabella gasped, "Mommy! Those are for Santa!"
David laughed as he set Oliver and Ellie down. "I think Santa wouldn't mind if we each had a cookie. He's not going to be able to eat all of those himself, anyway." He looked up at Regina and winked at her. "I think it'd be okay for each of us to have one."
Ellie and Oliver scrambled over, immediately choosing the biggest cookies they could find and unceremoniously shoving them into their mouths.
"Slow down, slow down," Regina scolded. "I don't want anyone choking."
Isabella had not made a move toward the stack of sweets. "But what about the reindeer and the elves? There won't be enough for them."
Ellie and Oliver's eyes widened comically as they froze mid-chew, mouths still stuffed with cookie. Both of them looked guiltily at the plate of remaining baked goods.
"Don't worry," David told them. "You guys made plenty for the elves. And reindeer don't eat dessert."
"We'll put out carrots for them tonight before bed," Regina reassured. "Now here. "She picked up the plate, holding it out to her daughter. "Have a cookie."
She took one hesitantly, but grinned as soon as she'd taken a bite. "Mmm."
Henry called from the living room, wondering if anyone wanted to play a game, and the three kids scampered out excitedly.
"Be there in a minute," David called out, then laughed as Regina snuck another cookie. "Two?" He asked, going over to choose one for himself. "What about the elves, Regina?"
"The elves would rather space them out throughout the day than eat them all at once. Besides...they're also hungry."
"Fair enough," he grinned. "And you did have a lot to do with making them. I suppose you should be able to eat as many as you want. Just don't let the kids catch you."
"I wasn't planning on it," she said just before taking another large bite.
He smiled. "Okay, I think it's time we got out there," he told her, holding out his hand.
Without thinking, she took it, allowing him to help her to her feet and guide her to the living room, hands still linked.
The day passed quickly, and by late afternoon, the kids had begun to grow antsy.
"Is it time to go yet?" Isabella asked, bouncing on her feet. "Is it?"
Regina looked down at her daughter in confusion. "Where are we going?" she asked, and Isabella bit her lip with a frown at her mother's answer.
"The festival."
"The Christmas Festival!" Regina exclaimed. "Of course! I completely forgot." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "I suppose we'll have to leave in about half an hour. We should start getting ready if we want to be there in time for the lights."
"Yay!" Isabella cheered, running up the stairs. "I'm gonna get my Christmas scarf!"
"No running on the stairs!" Regina yelled, sighing loudly. "It never changes," she muttered.
"Um, maybe I'm missing something," David said in confusion. "This is the first I've heard about a Christmas festival."
The twins giggled at him and Regina smiled at them before turning her attention to him. "Storybrooke has an annual Christmas festival on Christmas Eve," she told him. "You were in a coma for all the times it was celebrated. We skipped it the year after the curse broke because, well..."
"Right," David said, nodding dazedly. "So what does this festival entail?"
"Well, it starts with the lighting ceremony, which is just the lights on the big tree outside of town hall. Nothing too fancy, but the kids love it. And the nuns sell their candles. It's actually very pretty. There are games and food, hot cider and music. Some years, we've had it cold enough that people can go skating on the pond in the park, but it's snowing too much this year for that."
"Sounds like I've been missing quite the party," David commented.
"It's awesome!" Henry told him. "Mom took me every year!"
It took them the full thirty minutes to get everyone dressed for outside. It was another ten before they were all buckled into the car.
The whole front lawn of Town Hall was crawling with people when they arrived, but the sun hadn't quite dipped below the horizon, and the lights still hadn't been turned on.
David had to circle around a few times before managing to find a parking space. It had started snowing again, but they were prepared. Isabella had found them all at least one Christmas colored item to wear, and they were completely bundled from head to toe. Ben was fast asleep in his carrier, buried under a pile of warm blankets to buffer the cold winter air.
Regina pulled her knitted hat down further to cover her ears as she stepped out of the van. She felt slightly ridiculous with the fluffy hat; though it was black, it had a pompom at the tip of it. The children had insisted, however, so here she was. She opened the side door and Isabella hopped out, taking her mother's offered hand to get down without slipping. She then unbuckled Ellie from her seat and smiled across the van at David when he caught her eye from where he was doing the same for Oliver. She didn't set Ellie down in the snow – they still had a ways to walk, and even with boots, the snow was too deep for toddlers.
"Henry—"
"I've got Ben," Henry interrupted, working at the belts holding Ben's carrier in.
"Thank you," Regina said, smiling. They'd slipped into an easy routine and it had started to feel very natural.
"Alright – shall we?" David asked, appearing at her side.
"We shall," Isabella replied, then burst into giggles at the large words. "Come on! We're gonna miss it!" She looked at her parents with a smile, but bursting with impatience.
David tilted his head in their daughter's direction, a small hopeful look on his face as he held his free hand out to her.
She considered it a moment, then hiked Ellie up higher on her hip before taking David's hand. Even through the material of their gloves, she could feel the added warmth of holding his hand, and she barely managed to hold herself back from reacting to it.
They moved forward finally, Isabella blazing her anxious trail toward the crowds to find the perfect vantage point for the tree-lighting.
Many people cleared a path and grew silent. They were all staring at the sight of Prince Charming and the Evil Queen holding hands and each with a toddler on their hip. It had been rare to glimpse the entire family out in public at once, and it wasn't a sight anyone could easily grow used to. No one could believe it was the once-feared queen walking happily past with a small group of children shared with their prince.
"Family Mills!"
They all turned, Regina grateful for the distraction. The feel of everyone's eyes on her had begun to get under her skin. She could feel it tingling and making it extrememly hard not to pull her hand from David's.
It was Granny – of course – parting the crowd to make her way toward them. She eyed their clasped hands with a raised eyebrow and half her mouth raised in an amused smirk, but made no mention of it.
"It's about time you got here – I've been bored outta my mind without some decent company."
"Hey!" Ruby cried, looking only slightly offended.
"I live with ya, girl. You don't count."
She harrumphed, but stepped forward. "I will agree, though – it's good to see some friendly faces." She winked at Isabella, and to Regina and David's surprise, the girl leaped forward, wrapping her arms around the wolf.
"Ruby!"
"Hey, Iz. Long time no see."
"It's only been a couple of days," Isabella laughed.
"Yeah, well it feels like forever!" Ruby whined playfully.
"When have the two of you spent time together?" David asked in confusion.
"When you guys come to Granny's," she answered, shrugging. "Iz sneaks in back to hang with me, cause I'm cool. Right Iz?"
Izzy nodded, looking slightly nervous at her parent's reaction. "You didn't used to care about me hanging out with Ruby. Am I in trouble?"
Ruby looked up at David and Regina with guilt, wondering if she'd actually caused more problems. "I didn't mean-" she started, but Regina cut her off.
"No, no. Of course it's fine. You're fine, sweetheart," she assured Isabella. "I'm glad you have fun with Ruby." She looked up at the woman when Isabella smiled and looked away. She caught her eye and the young woman shrugged, draping an arm around Isabella, before Isabella caught sight of Emma and Olivia and took off in their direction.
"You and I have our differences," Ruby told Regina, "but you have one hella cute kid. Actually, kinda weird since she looks just like you. I can look past it, though."
"How kind of you," Regina said, rolling her eyes.
"Speaking of things to look past, though," she continued, and Regina sighed. "The uh, the whole hand-holding thing?" she gestured at the two of them.
"For Isabella," Regina informed her.
"And these two," David added, bouncing Oliver a bit, making the boy laugh. He didn't let go of Regina's hand, and to his surprise, she didn't let go, either.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Izzy came bounding up, candle in hand. "Look what Aunt Emma gave me!"
Regina smiled down at her, but turned to David with a lifted eyebrow as she spoke. "A traveling open flame. How thoughtful."
David chuckled. "She carried it less than fifty feet, and Izzy's careful."
"Yeah, mommy," she agreed. "And it's getting really dark, and no one had a candle yet."
It was getting dark, and Regina knew the white lights that lit up the lawn wouldn't be turned on until after the lights on the tree were lit. "Alright," she agreed reluctantly. "But don't leave my sight, and be extra careful."
"I will!"
Just as she said it, the crowd quieted down and everyone held their breath as they waited. Someone flipped the switch and the tree lit up, standing out brilliantly in the darkness with its sparkling decorations and twinkle lights. It was silent a moment longer as everyone admired the beauty before the crowd burst into applause.
"It's sooo pretty!" Ellie cooed, the lights dancing off her eyes, and Regina smiled.
"It sure is, my darling."
"Wow," David said. "It really is beautiful." He gave Regina's hand a small squeeze and looked over at her. They enjoyed the peaceful silence before the twins began to bounce in their arms, eager to get down and run around. "So," he asked. "What's next?"
She hummed, looking around at her family. "Well I was thinking cider and cookies since we've all had our dinners, and I think we deserve a little treat."
David grinned and her stomach flipped. "I like the way you think."
An hour later and the crowd had grown relaxed. It was beautiful with all the lights strung up and the snow still falling lightly. There was music playing, and in the center of the lawn up by the entrance to the building, people had started dancing. Isabella and the twins were building a snowman with Emma, Neal and Olivia, and Henry - still with Ben - was engrossed in a conversation with Snow and Derek.
"Would you like to dance?"
David's voice startled Regina from her silent watching over the children. "What?"
He smiled. "I asked if you'd like to dance with me?"
She looked around again. "None of the children are here."
"I asked because I want to dance with you, not because I want to put on a show for them. I've told you before and I'll keep telling you - I like spending time with you, Regina."
She could feel herself blushing and she hoped the way the cold air had already colored them lightly hid it. Despite her fear, and ignoring all the reasons she shouldn't, she found herself nodding. "Alright," she agreed quietly.
He took her hand again, guiding her to the makeshift dance floor. Before she could think too much more about it, he'd pulled her against him, wrapping an arm around her waist as he brought their hands up, re-gripping them and beginning to sway to the gentle Christmas song.
She looked up at him, startled to suddenly find herself in his arms, but she still brought her free hand up to rest lightly on his shoulder.
He met her gaze, watching the light reflected in her eyes and the small snowflakes catching on her eyelashes. "You are so beautiful," he told her softly. "Inside and out."
She dropped her head at the statement, sure that her blush had become obvious, and definitely feeling exposed by his words. She didn't know how to respond to that. Thank you seemed unfitting and not enough, but they didn't have the physical intimacy for her to show him how much the statement meant to her, or at least, they weren't supposed to, because she wouldn't let them. Still, she let go of his hand and took a step closer, closing the remaining space between them as she leaned her head against his chest and allowed her arms to wrap around his waist.
He immediately brought his arms around her in return, and she closed her eyes briefly to soak in the sudden warmth on the cold night. Even she couldn't deny how right it felt when the two of them were together.
They continued that way, wrapped in each other's arms all the way to the end of the song, and then through the start of the next when Regina opened her eyes again.
"People are staring," she said softly into his shoulder as she turned her head slightly to look up at him.
"Let them," he replied easily.
"Snow's here," she pointed out.
"With Derek."
"But everyone will—"
"I told you," he interrupted, exhaustion creeping in. "I don't care what anyone else thinks. Snow and I already talked, and I've made peace with my decision. It doesn't matter what the town thinks. It won't change my mind."
Feeling unable to respond, but not wanting to ruin the happiness the evening had brought her, Regina leaned her head back against his chest. When she felt David rest his head against the top of hers, she finally relaxed and closed her eyes again.