Chapter 25

"Is there any hope for me?"

I vented a sigh before rubbing a servo over my faceplates. "Skyfire…" I was so tired of this. "I love you. I do want something with you. But… Things just are not… Now isn't a good time."

"When is? Starscream…" Skyfire grabbed the back of my chair and made it spin around so I would face him. He placed his servos on the arms of my seat, leaning over, his faceplates in mine. I caught his optics glancing to my breastplates. "You're trineleader, you graduated, you have a great job, your creations are all moved out, drama with your trinemates is mostly gone… Now is the time that we can start getting serious about our relationship."

I glanced away. "Sky…" I looked back at him. "I don't think my brothers are ready. It's just that… It has been a while, but Thundercracker still is… partly traditional still. I'm still working on him. And Skywarp just… is a jealous monster so I need to work on him as well. I do love you. I do want to date you. Believe me, I do. But I need to take care of my trine. I can't just start bringing home dates when they aren't ready. Remember that when one Seeker gets an outside mate, that the entire trine also is mated to them. We may join as Conjunx, or just legally mated, but the entire trine bonds and breeds with an outside mate. And I don't think you or them are ready for that."

"I don't want to frag Thundercracker."

"See? And he most certainly doesn't want you near his intimacy. He would be greatly saddened by seeing how big you are and realizing he's not the biggest in that competition."

"How long do you think it will take them until they are ready for us to get serious?" He asked a little frustrated, his optics darting to my codpiece for an astrosecond.

"A while." I grunted, then bit my lower lip plate as I though.

I glanced at the lab we were in, our own personal workplace in this entire structure we operated. This place where I made all the Shanix to provide for my trine, as my trinemates mostly stayed home. I really did become a responsible trineleader. Well, until I did this.

"You know…" I looked up at him. "We know we want to be together. I want to join with you, and you want to join with me."

"Of course."

"And we kind of already fragged a lot once, so we already broke that boundary."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm saying… Maybe we can start dating. Just without anyone else knowing since… We both know we want to be together. Like, the dating phase is over at this point anyway. Why not just… Be together, but not let anyone know until they are ready?"

"So, you want to like… be engaged in secret?"

I smirked. "Why not?"

"I guess I could do that. But keeping it secret will be hard."

I thought for a moment before smirking. And part of me regrets what I did, because I think this is why I got so bad about letting others touch me. That I was no longer faithful to my trine up till very recently in my life. And I'm ashamed of it now, but never was when I was going behind their backs.

"I'll make it worth it, big guy. Let's be two adolescents in school not telling their creators." I smirked, wings fluttering.

"What? But school is something creators are aware of…" He said slowly, missing my entire point.

I rolled my optics and grabbed his jaw. "You fat idiot… I want you to frag me and not let anyone know you stick it in me."

"Ohhhhhh!" He paused, wings perking. "But, that's cheating on your trine, right?"

"We're going to join anyway, they just don't know it yet."

"I am not sure-"

I shoved at him roughly, flicking my wings. "Listen, fataft," I jabbed a digit at him. "You either wait forever to be with me properly, ask my sire if you can take my servo in holy matrimony, go through that entire affair of a priest and ceremony, in-laws flooding everywhere, and extended family we don't care about, and me crying when the cake isn't the right size, or-" I grabbed his neck and pulled him down so his face was in mine. "You don't wait for us to consummate that night of our joining and we go at it hard, now. Get. Little. Sky. In. Me. Fataft." I growled each word.

He finally got what I meant. "You sure?"

"Positive. Or are you unable to get it up?"

"Oh, it's already up once I see you."

"Creep." I slapped him across the faceplates.

His optics widened, shocked, then they narrowed. "You're so mean." He grabbed me, easily yanking me out of the chair and shoving me onto a desk, clearing everything away quickly.

I snapped at him, already starting to feel myself turning on. I grasped at his faceplates, neck, shoulders, and chest as he started to grab my waist, move my hips, and claw at my codpiece. He knew I liked it rough. It wasn't his thing, but after wanting to be in me for so long and it finally happening, he lost control of himself.

"Ah!" I gasped, lolling my helm back when he penetrated me, already so hard. "Oh, oh, Primus… Oh, yes, yes, yes, YES! Oh, Skyfire, oh, yes, give it to me!" I writhed beneath him, just concentrating on that massive spike inside of me, stretching me apart. My legs hooked onto his hips, he rested his servos on the desk, panting in my faceplates. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close as I hungrily kissed him on the lip plates. Our glossas were soon inside each other's mouths, our wings fluttering madly, and chestplates opening to reveal our bright, pulsating sparks.

It was so heavenly. I love him in me. I love him. And the way he fragged me… It was different from my trinemates. They were rough, fast, and all over the place. But Skyfire… He was more concentrated, more focused on my entire body rather than just my valve. I don't know how else to explain it. It just felt more like he had.. A special love for me. And I quickly remembered why I loved the way he interfaced me so much.

I still don't know why I did this. Why I cheated again when I had told him and myself for so long that I would never cheat on my brothers again. I wasn't in an awful place mentally again. No, the complete opposite. This was the happiest time of my life. Well, not as happy as before I was raped by Brakelight, but pretty close. And maybe it was this happiness that caused me to be unfaithful.

I'll explain why: When I first cheated it was because I felt so unloved, alone, hopeless, and just broken. I desperately needed love, and the emotional love of my friends wasn't enough. I needed physical love. To be held by someone in such a way that I felt like I belonged, that I felt like I wasn't a pile of useless slag. I needed someone who interfaced me because they had to. Not out of lust or because I'm a pretty face and have a nice body. But because they loved me so much they never could get themselves to stop holding me, kissing me, and wanted to be in as much physical contact as they could, and make me feel wonderful. I just needed someone to care about me.

Now, I knew TC and Warp loved me. I was done with drama, pretty much, with them and no more precious sparklings in our care. It was just us, love, and happiness. And I guess I felt like… Because we were doing so well they wouldn't get mad at me. And I also guess that maybe… Maybe I just felt like I could get away with things now, being trineleader, my trinemates not watching me constantly, and being free. I was free. I could do whatever. And maybe being an adulterer was part of that freedom I secretly craved. Maybe it's just part of my nature to be dishonest.

And when I think about it… Now after thousands of vorns later… Part of me… I don't regret being with Skyfire. I don't regret cheating with him. Probably because he actually cares about me, always has loved me, and he interfaced me because he just couldn't get enough of me and showing his love to me. But he's the only person I have this feeling with. I would find myself cheating with many others as I fell from grace, all of them I regret so deeply now and hate myself for it, but with him… No. I still cherish every moment I had with him.

"Argh!" I cried out when we finally overloaded, feeling him fill me with all his mechly fluids of pure bliss. "Slaggit…" I panted, my frame relaxing as the surplus energy passed through me. "Oh, that was… Wonderful." I fluttered my wings as I smiled up at him.

He sheepishly smiled. "It was pretty awesome." He kissed me. "Love you, Star."

"Love you, too, big guy." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his. "Out." I pushed at his chestplates. "We better get back to work before someone comes knocking on the door."

"Right." He kissed me again before pulling out.

I sat up, closing my chest plates, but leaving my codpiece open. "Sky, make sure to paint yourself down there. Not too many 'bots you know with a red aft."

"I will. Don't worry. Need paint yourself?"

"Nah, I'm always scratched up down there. Those two idiots frag me like six times every orbital cycle. It would be suspicious if I looked nice between the legs."

"Your aft is especially always in a rough shape."

I sheepishly smiled as my wings fluttered. "It's how they show me their love." I finally found a towel in my subspace pocket and started to clean my codpiece. I perked my wings, then fluttered them. "Sky, come here."

"What?" He asked as he was in the midst of cleaning himself.

I slid off the desk, turned around, placed my servos on it, and leaned over so my aft was perfectly positioned for anything to strike it. "Smack it."

"I rather not." He grunted.

"Sky, lovers always hit each other's afts. Just do it. You used to always grab it."

"Grabbing is different from hitting." He said as he did grasp my aft and give it a little shake, holding it tightly.

My wings fluttered. "I want you to smack it. Please?"

"No."

"Do you want to see my valve again?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"If you want to frag me, you need to please me. Now, think of all the times I've pissed you off to the point you wanted to cause physical harm to my being, and channel that into your mighty servo, and hit the sexy, red aft!"

He rolled his optics. "That's too much anger to channel."

"I'm that bad?"

"Oh-ho yes."

"Your face is fat, your aft ginormous, and you smell of pathetic shuttle."

"Your petty insults won't get to me, Seeker." He smirked.

"Nor will your dashing good looks or charm get to me, fatso."

"Don't call me fat. Seriously."

"Fatty."

"Star, I told you many times I don't like it."

"Bigaft."

"Star, it hurts my self esteem. Stop." He vented a sigh.

I knew it bothered him, but I'm an afthelm. "Does your fat aft get stuck in doorways? Do people mistake your aft that you're towing a truck behind you? Does it have its own gravitational pull? Is it its own city-state with its own senate and-"

"Alright!" He shouted. "Fine, you win, miserable cog." He stood behind me, raising his servo.

"I always win." I smiled triumphantly, looking ahead. "AH!" I jumped, wings flicking when he did smack my aft.

"You asked for it." He snapped.

"I did." I rubbed over my aft, the intense pain pulsating from the abused rear. And then I started to feel that sensation again. "Sky."

"What?"

I turned around to face him. "Put me over your knee and give me more of those and I'll let little Skyfire back inside." I fluttered my wings.

He thought for a moment before rolling his optics with a loud vented sigh. "Fine. You convinced me."

I don't think it was that difficult for him.

He sat down on a chair and I quickly got over his lap, making sure my aft was position perfectly for his servo to have optimal striking range. I grabbed his leg, his left servo grasping my waist.

I think he was channeling nearly two vorn's worth of anger and frustration with me, because he hit me pretty hard and a lot. But I loved it. I kicked my legs, clutched his leg, and cried out from each smack, but it only made me want his spike more.

And, Primus, did he give me a lot more spike after my aft beating.

"Ah! Nrrrgh!" I grit my denta, doing my best to hold still.

"Shhh, no screaming, Screamer." Skywarp giggled, standing in front of me, humping me as his arms were wrapped around my body.

I was blindfolded, standing still, my elbows bent at a 90 degree angle with palms flat towards the ceiling. On my servos, I held two block weights, quite heavy especially after holding them a while. On top of those weights was balanced a large ball. I had to keep my arms perfectly still so the balls wouldn't roll off. But, it was not easy to hold these weights above my helm, so still, when my arms were hurting and hurting more so each passing astrosecond, Skywarp was thrusting into me, and behind me, Thundercracker was beating my aft with an energy tawse.

Why was I in this painful predicament? Because of Skywarp's porn watching, of course. Time to try something new! I hated it. And if one of the balls rolled off, I would find something worse lashed across my sore rear, and more bondage. They even started to threaten to walk me like a cyberdog, on my servos and knees with a collar and leash, out in public. I know some are very turned on by such humiliation, but not this Seeker. If I have to be humiliated to be turned on, put me over your knee in public and smack my aft into oblivion. But walking me like a pet… Nah uh. Don't even try to use that to draw me into any sexual desires.

"Mrrrgh!" I gritted my denta, barely holding myself together, my arms feeling like they would break off any astrosecond.

"Shhh, you're doing well." Skywarp kissed me, never ceasing his thrusting.

Thundercracker paused in his lashing to grab and shake my aft before smacking it with his servo. "This is looking so nice." He commented before lashing me again with the tawse.

"Ah! Nrrrgh, kill me now…" I was reaching the end of my limit.

"Doing alright?" Thundercracker asked.

"I-I can do it." I swallowed, panting.

"Need a break?" Skywarp asked, pausing in his thrusting.

"Arms just hurt a lot." I growled. "Overload already!"

Skywarp giggled, resuming his thrusting.

Thundercracker lashed my aft a few more times before stopping to get the communicator that started to ring. He held it up to his audio receptor before speaking.

"Hey, carrier." He answered with a grin. "Nah, nothing much. Hanging out with my trinemates. You?"

"This is not 'hanging out!' This is sadistic torture you slagging spawn-of-a-"

"Shush!" Skywarp kissed me silent.

"Oh, him and Warp are playing. Just ignore the shouting."

"Playing?!"

Thundercracker smacked my aft hard with the tawse before returning his attention to his carrier. "I would love to come by, carrier."

"Don't drag us into this…" I grunted. "I hate my in-laws…"

Thundercracker shot me a glare (I know this because he told me). "Oh, they both would love to come as well."

"Cum? I am working on that!" Skywarp giggled manically.

"Vector Sigma…" I groaned.

"Is sire okay with it? No, I'm bringing Starscream…. He just has to deal with it. I am mated to Starscream, I have five creations with him, and he's not going anywhere. If sire wants me to visit him, he needs to accept the mech I'm eternally bonded to. Both of them." He paused. "Yeah, well, I'm not my brothers. I really don't care if I trined 'lesser' Seekers in sire's optics. I trined the two greatest mechs ever, I love them, and I will frag them in front of him if he has an issue."

"On his berth!" Skywarp piped up.

"Ew… Not where he frags my carrier and uncle…" Thundercracker made a face. "Nothing, carrier. Talking to Warp." He paused. "We can come by tomorrow."

"Not enough time for me to prepare for a flood of stupidity, bigotry, and dumbaft slag that will be regurgitated from his whore mouth." I snapped.

"Starscream is especially excited to come over." Thundercracker said it in such a mocking way.

"Starscream rather eat his own waste." I sarcastically remarked right back at him.

"Starscream says he'll even make a cake."

"Starscream will straight up take a dump in that cake and feed it to Steelwing." I exclaimed.

"Starscream is exuberant with his abundant joy and eagerness to see you guys."

"Starscream will murder a certain brain dead, abusive fragger."

"Yes, he will be on his BEST BEHAVIOR."

I made a shocked gasp. "I rather him frag me than behave for him!"

"I'm not talking to him… Okay, I am. He's being nice about it."

"I want his helm on a spike…" I growled.

"No, he will behave or else I'll punish him. Don't worry about anything going wrong. In fact, I'll give him a reassurance beating right now."

"Abuser!"

"Mhmm, love you too, carrier. Bye." He hung up, than lashed my aft as hard as he could.

"AH!" I jumped, dropping the weights and balls. Skywarp never ceased thrusting into me.

"You're going to behave tomorrow." Thundercracker snapped at me.

"Or what? You're going to turn me over your knee?" I snapped right back at him.

"I mean it, Starscream. I'm not the biggest fan of my sire myself, but I love my carrier and uncle and don't need you making it hard for me to see them. Trineleader or not, if you make me get banned from seeing them, I will beat you until there's nothing left."

"I don't know what you're saying. "I'm a perfect, innocent angel." I fluttered my wings, smiling so innocently.

"Warp get out of him."

Skywarp quickly did so, and I found myself thrown over the back of the couch. Thundercracker got into me quickly and started to roughly frag me, hurting me some. He grabbed a cable, forced it into my mouth, holding the ends like reins, and pulled back hard. I bit down, trying to keep it from hurting my mouth pistons or hydraulics. He leaned over me, pressing his chest against my back, my helm being forced up by the cable.

"Behave." He growled in my audio receptor.

I just growled and snapped, my wings flaring, not able to do much else with him in me. He fragged me quite harshly, upset at my behavior. Despite being so dominant over me and aggressive, he still didn't try to subvert me or dominate me. More of a reminder of just how large and powerful he was, and why I should behave.

Not that large, powerful mechs would ever get me to behave in my life! Oh, my history with them is always rebellious. Thundercracker, Skyfire, Steelwing, Skycutter, that idiot grounder I'll be dealing with before too long… Yeah, big, powerful intimidating mechs just make me want to misbehave and not listen to them.

Which is why little, petite, weak, skinny, pathetic me is such a damn idiot…

The rest of the evening went alright. No more rough interface after Thundercracker finished with me, and we recharged together as always without any problem. Things started to get tense when we headed to Steelwing's place the next orbital cycle. Despite being trineleader, I got a stern lecture on the balcony just before Thundercracker rung the door chime. I let it slide. His family, and he was the one shoving a metal pipe up his aft…

"Hey, Thunder!" Gale answered the door, wings fluttering.

"Hey, Uncle Gale." Thundercracker hugged him, smiling back.

"Hello, Starscream, Skywarp." Gale greeted us warmly.

"Hiiiiiiii!" Skywarp waved, giggling.

"Hi." I grunted. I like Gale, I do. I just was in a very foul mood this orbital cycle.

Thundercracker led us inside, and Borealis quickly came running over.

"My sparkling is here!" She hugged him, kissing her son on the cheekplates. "And you keep getting so handsome." She fluttered her wings, smiling at him as only a carrier could at her creation.

"Hey, carrier." Thundercracker nuzzled his olfactory sensor with hers. "Starscream has something for you."

"What does my other son have for his carrier?" She came over and hugged me. Why was she always so damn happy when she lived with such a miserable aft?

I hugged her back. "I have something that I labored over with threat of violence to my being." I smirked so innocently, sarcastically, darting a glare at that blue idiot I am a mated for life to.

"What?"

I unsubspaced a cake and held it to her. "I did not put any of my waste in it, promise. Your son saw to it."

She gave me a confused look before taking it. "Thank you, sweetspark. Why don't you come with me to get some energon for the trineleaders?"

"Not to be disrespectful, carrier, but trineleaders can get their own energon." I took her servo. "We work hard enough, so let us sit first and they can see to their own desires." I led her to the table.

"Um," She gave me a puzzled look. "I-I'm not sure if I-"

"Trust me, carrier. Steelwing has two fully functioning legs and enough brain power to command them. He will be fine." I pulled a chair out for her.

She was getting uncomfortable, but sat down anyway, her wings lowering. Thundercracker raised an optical ridge, watching me closely. He did not trust me, and I'm glad he didn't. I don't trust myself.

"I thought I heard a rat." Steelwing grunted as he entered the room, wings held high, optics narrowed, looking especially narcissistic and hateful this orbital cycle. He made his way to the table, thruster heels clacking loudly in the suddenly silent room.

"Hello, sire." Thundercracker inclined his helm. "Winds treat you well?"

"They could blow in my direction more." He sat at the head of the table, not bothering to hug his own son. "Where is the engex?"

"I'll get it." Borealis started to get up, but I placed a servo on her shoulder.

"No, carrier, allow a younger body." I smiled, then started to go to the back room.

"I do not want you touching my energon, whore! You'll only put your waste in it." Steelwing barked.

I spun around to face him. "Well, I was, but only because you so eagerly drank it the last time, you kinky glitch."

Steelwing's engine growled. "Hasn't been here a klik and he's already starting trouble."

"Starscream, sit down." Thundercracker snapped, his denta gritted, angry and embarrassed with me.

I wanted to say something back, but bit my glossa. We still were keeping it secret I was trineleader. So, I obediently approached me trineleader, turned around, and leaned forward some. He smacked my aft hard with his servo, but I didn't cry out. I pulled up a chair and sat down, glancing at Steelwing. I was well trained, and he should be aware of that.

Gale walked off to get the engex, tying to avoid the drama. Thundercracker sat beside me, and Skywarp on the other side of him. I was to Thunder's right, which showed I was the second-in-command of the trine, rather than Skywarp. Steelwing had not seen this before.

"Shouldn't you sit on the other side?" He questioned.

I perked my wings, not sure what he meant at first, but then quickly got it. "So long as I behave I may sit on this side of my trineleader." I replied.

Steelwing raised an optical ridge, and I cuddled against Thundercracker, acting submissive to my trinemate. Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates, then growled quietly in my audio receptor so only I could hear.

"Please, behave. Trineleader or not, I will lock you outside of the apartment if you cause a scene."

I glared at him before whispering back. "If you're going to punish me, put me over your knee then frag me senseless while calling me 'slut.'"

He rolled his optics. "Fine, act up, and I will beat the slag out of your aft and not interface you. I'll make you suffer, and I know you'll want my spike in you, but I won't give it to you. I'll beat you, I'll make your cry and leave you wet, but I'll frag Skywarp instead and you will just have to watch. In pain, in tears, and craving what only I can give you."

My optics widened some, then narrowed. "You are a cold sparked monster. You better give me that spike. It's the only reason I like you."

"Shut your mouth or I will shove my spike in it." He snapped.

"I'll bite it." I flicked my wings.

"You will get punched if you bite me."

"And you will get no interface from me for a stellar cycle."

"Go ahead. I have Skywarp to stick it in."

"I will take the right to frag him away from you."

"I will murder you, cut you up into pieces, and dispose of your remains across Cybertron so the police will never find you."

"But will you frag my body before cutting it up?"

'Ew" He shoved me away, and I smirked.

"Everything alright?" Steelwing inquired as Gale served him his energon.

"Yes, just reminding Starscream his manners." Thundercracker grunted, taking the glass of energon that Gale handed him.

I made a face, but kept my mouth shut. I leaned against Thundercracker, resting my cheekplates against his upper arm, behaving like a good trinemate does. Skywarp soon was leaning against Thundercracker's other arm. He got bored easily, but he was willing to behave so Thundercracker could visit his creators. I wasn't…

They talked and were so cheery and merry and all that… joyous slag. Steelwing actually started to laugh and be nice to his son. Like an actual sire. I remained silent, I listened, I rolled my optics, and drank energon. It was like this for over a cycle before things went south.

"I'm going to get some sticks." Borealis said as she started to stand.

"Allow me, carrier." I replied, getting up. "You stay and relax."

"Oh, no need to, dear." Borealis gave me a dismissive wave.

"I insist." I started to turn to walk away, when Steelwing spoke, his optics studying my now visible backside.

"Still beating him a lot, I see." He commented. "When are you just going to give up on training him and get a new trinemate?"

I spun around, ready to say something, but Thundercracker spoke instead.

"He is trained, sire. He's been behaving better than ever. Not perfect, but better than he used to be."

"So, why all the damage to his aft and where you've been chaining him?" Steelwing gestured to me.

I glanced down, my aft still damaged from the beating I got yesterday, and wrists and arms dented from the tight chains I had been tied with the other orbital cycle. I certainly looked like I was being abused. Well, I was… Kinky abuse.

"We've been… Exploring sexual pleasures." Thundercracker said slowly.

"I'm sorry?"

Thundercracker set down his glass, a digit tracing the brim of it. "For a while now… Like… shortly after we had Starlight my trine and I… Made some changes to better explore ourselves and each other. Particularly in the berthroom."

Borealis returned with energon sticks, having left despite me telling her not to. She handed some to her trineleader first before sitting down. Steelwing bit one, eyeing his son.

"I am not sure I follow…" He said slowly.

"My trinemates and I have been… having non-traditional bonding sessions."

"Non-traditional? Like… Oral?"

"Some… But mostly…" Thundercracker paused. "You've never watched porn, have you?"

"Absolutely not. It's vile and unseemly." Steelwing grunted. I think Skywarp felt offended.

"Well… You know of kinks, right?"

"Hmm?"

"Fetishes."

"Oh, yes. What about them?"

"Um…" Thundercracker scratched his nape, growing so uncomfortable that he had to explain this to his own sire. "Well, there's a lot of different fetishes and like everyone has one or more. Um… You have one, carrier does, Gale does, everyone does. Just some are more common than others. And… Well, there's one that's quite common and practiced a lot from Seekers, grounders, everyone. And… We kind of… Found ourselves getting involved in it and… Enjoying it."

"And this fetish is…?" Steelwing prodded.

"BDSM."

"What's that?"

"Bondage, Discipline, Sadomachochism."

"Hmm?"

"Um…" Thundercracker rubbed over his faceplates, his faceplates heating up. "So… Bondage is… y-you tie up a person, right?"

"Yes…"

"And discipline is punishment…"

"Go on…"

"And sadomachochism is… Sadism and masochism is.. Well, sadism is enjoying harming others or humiliating them, usually for sexual gratification, and masochism is enjoying being hurt or humiliated for sexual pleasures."

"So, you're saying..?"

"I'm saying that, um, w-we, uh-"

"Oh, for the love of-" I rolled my optics. "Your son ties me down, gags me, whips my aft with a cable, then makes me suck him as I wear a collar and chain. Then he frags the slag out of my beaten aft, getting hard off making me cry, and I get wet off of being made to cry. Primus, just tell him it straight. He's not a slagging virgin!"

"Ugh.." Thundercracker moaned, rubbing his faceplates, wishing I would act… Not like myself.

"I didn't need to know that much." Steelwing snapped at me.

"I shouldn't have to explain it to you. It's BDSM. Who doesn't know about it?"

"Starscream, sit down." Thundercracker snapped.

I glared at him, then did so, behaving. I hate behaving.

"Seems like he needs more punishment for his behavior out of the berthroom than in it." Steelwing grunted.

"He only acts up when you're around." Thundercracker pointed out.

"Then why did he frag that shuttle? I wasn't around then." Steelwing sipped his energon.

"Sire…"

"I'm glad you stopped breeding these two. A brat and a bastard are not worthy of being carriers. You should be putting your coding into Seekers who are." Steelwing just had to continue once he got started.

"They are more than worthy, sire." Thundercracker growled, his wings hiking and optics narrowing. "My creations are all healthy, strong, and are having their own families."

"They both need to see a doctor about losing weight. You can tell they have been bred several times." He grumbled.

I looked down, feeling upset now. I did have some… unnecessary plating on my abdominal region due to my five carryings, and it did bother me how much more noticeable it had become after Starlight was born. I wanted it gone, but that costs a lot, so I was stuck with it. But, Thundercracker kept telling me I was beautiful regardless, and loved me despite physical blemishes. And that did make me feel better about myself. Until afts like Steelwing had to point it out. Skywarp also had extra plating now since he had five as well, and he doesn't handle insults as well as I do. I glanced over and saw some coolant pooling in his optics. He had been in the same boat as me with wanting it gone and to look sleek again. And Skywarp grew up hearing constant insults about how he looked, I didn't, so I was less effected by the insults. Still hurt, but not as much as it hurt him.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Do not insult my trinemates." He snapped. "They had five sparklings each. Their bodies went through a lot for each of those carryings. They're still beautiful and are mine."

"I had these two get fixed up once I stopped breeding them." Steelwing gestured to his trinemates, ignoring Thundercracker's comment. "They look good again."

"Why do you always have to attack my trinemates?"

"Not attacking, just commenting."

"They're mine and I love them. Leave them alone."

"Make them behave. Maybe if you actually tried you could get this one to stop whoring himself. He's probably fragging that shuttle again."

"He would never cheat on me. That was a one time mistake."

I swallowed, but stayed silent, choosing to lean against Thundercracker again.

"Once an adulterer, always. Thunder, I love you, but you trined two troublemakers who shouldn't have been trined, much less bred. All they do is act up, cause problems, and have ruined your life. You were thrown in prison because of them, you are constantly dealing with their bad behavior, the one is so unfit for being a carrier he had a sparkling die in him." Skywarp bit his lower lip plate at that, remembering his sparkling who didn't make it. And the coolant started to leak out. "And his eldest ended up joining with a grounder and breeding her. And this one," He pointed at me. "Only ever causes problems, cheats on you, his eldest is pariah who will never trine, and he does Syk. Probably one or more of his creations aren't even yours. They are horrible trinemates, worse for breeding, and only exist to cause trouble. You should of let this one die when he cowardly attempted suicide."

Thundercracker glared at his sire. "Don't you ever call him a coward for that." He growled.

"Suicide is what cowards do. Real Seekers face their challenges helm first. Not use death as an escape."

"Suicide is not cowardly. It's-"

"Selfish and cowardly. That's all it is. And you shouldn't be trined to a coward. Get rid of him, get a real Seeker, one that can fight and think, and have a normal trine."

Thundercracker was about to say something, but I spoke. And this carrier was going to defend his daughters. This trined Seeker was going to defend the mechs he was bonded to for life. This Seeker, had it with the verbal abuse from this miserable, bullying cog.

"You want to know something?" I snapped at him, and surprisingly Thundercracker didn't attempt to stop me. "You want to know what this 'coward' did? You want to know how this trine is actually doing? Let me tell you." I mockingly smirked. "This 'coward,'" I pointed to myself. "Is the trineleader of this trine!"

Steelwing gave me a look like I was an idiot. "Thundercracker, control your submissive." He ordered.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "I am the submissive."

I stood up, leaning over the table towards Steelwing. "I was sparked with Starlight when I decided I had enough of the way things were and took on your son. I defeated Thundercracker in a fair fight, servo-to-servo combat. I dominated the slag out of him when I took him down! He has been my submissive for over a vorn! Mine! And I have been dominant over Skywarp ever since Thundercracker was in prison. This is my trine. And I will not let anyone, especially you, insult it." I flicked my wings, engine growling.

"You can't convince me that scrawny, weak, pathetic Starscream defeated my son who is larger, and stronger than you." Steelwing said it like I was an utter idiot.

"Don't believe it then. It doesn't change the fact that I am now his trineleader. Oh, and, Strikeblade and Windspeed… I sired them, not Thundercracker. And I have your son trained better than any cyberdog. In and out of the berthroom."

Thundercracker made a coughing, choking sound, looking like he wanted to die. Skywarp had stopped crying, his wings perking as he watched me. Steelwing was not amused.

"This isn't a very good prank." He grunted.

"Sire, Starscream is the trineleader." Thundercracker grunted. "He beat me in a fair fight. He won. He dominated me. And I haven't challenged him. I'm his submissive, and I'm fine with it. He's doing fine as trineleader." He paused. "And I am well trained."

"Submissive? Completely submissive to this weakling?" He gestured at me.

"Oh, he's still dominant in berth where it counts." I smirked, and Thundercracker couldn't help but smile at that.

"I didn't need to know that." Steelwing flicked his wings at me, giving me a look that I get a lot of, even to this orbital cycle. That look of being told too much information on a topic that you most certainly did not want to be informed about. I get those looks far more than the lustful ones at my aft… He turned back to his son. "If he is trineleader, why have you not challenged him? Why let him run your trine into the ground?"

"He hasn't run us into the ground. He's doing well. I have not been able to get a job since prison. No one will hire a convict. Starscream has provided for the trine and our creations, while also going to school. Which he graduated from with highest honors. Sixteen masters. No dumb whore could do that." He gave his sire a hard glare.

"He's still a whore despite whatever education he got from grounders." He flared his wings. "Why have you not challenged him?"

"Because he's doing fine."

"If it's about the employment, you were trineleader while he was working. Why not stay trineleader and have him work if you were so unable to get a job?"

"Because… He's been great as a trineleader."

"You're avoiding my question: Why. Haven't. You. Challenged. Him? Steelwing growled out.

"Because I didn't want to be trineleader anymore!" Thundercracker shouted in frustration.

My optics widened, shocked by that admission. I had been wondering forever why he never challenged me or tried to dominate me, and finally I was hearing why. Steelwing was not pleased by it.

"Why don't you want to be trineleader?" Steelwing demanded, glaring at his son.

"Because…" Thundercracker rubbed his optics, looking down before speaking. "I wasn't good at it. I made a terrible mistake and I've hated myself for it for so long. I wasn't able to forgive myself until Starscream forgave me for everything I had done to him. I just…" He swallowed, and coolant started to fill his optics as his mind returned to that night. "W-when Star attempted suicide… He almost died because of me. H-he tried to kill himself to escape from me. A-and I… I haven't been the same since then. And I hated being trineleader ever since. I didn't want that responsibility anymore. But I continued because I didn't know any better. I-I thought I was stuck being trineleader and having to hurt my trinemates because that's all I had ever been told and led to believe. I didn't know anything else. And I hated it. I hate everything I did to my brothers." He paused to swallow, taking a moment to regain control of himself. "I am bonded to them for life, and I couldn't continue hurting them for eternity." He turned to his sire. "I made a vow to them to protect and care for them, and when I was trineleader I kept breaking that vow. But, now as a submissive I'm fulfilling it fully. And the trine has finally healed, and we're happy, and I don't hate myself anymore. I can finally just… Be myself." He took my servo in his. "And Starscream is an amazing trineleader. He's better at it than I ever was."

I smiled sheepishly, my wings giving a light flutter. "Aw…"

Thundercracker faintly smiled at me as he continued. "Starscream has initiative, he's very responsible, patient, smart, compassionate, and has what it takes to lead. He could lead a lot more than just a trine. And he has far better credentials than I do. In and out of the berth." He lifted my servo and kissed the knuckles, winking at me.

Damn, I sure know how to pick 'em. Someone get me a room with this mech and let him do whatever he pleases with my body. I am his forever!

Steelwing was not amused. He flicked his wings, elbows resting on the table, digits laced together, pressed against his lip plates, and optics narrowed. "I had high hopes for you, Thundercracker. You were always my special son, with your outlier ability. I thought for sure you would achieve something great because of it. But, seems I was mistaken. You first showed your incompetence by trining that bastard you met at the outlier lab, which you foolishly let yourself be captured and thrown into. Not only is he a bastard, but he's a complete idiot who can't even tell his helm from his aft!" Skywarp's wings lowered at that. "Then, when you finally started to get your act together and went to the War Academy you find this whore and trined him, despite me warning you what trouble the Alpha's spawns are. Royal brats don't know how to do anything other than live in luxury and whine. And you bred with both of these mistakes and created Seekers who betray their own by breeding with grounders and slagging on tradition. And now, you let this miserable, whoring, pathetic glitch defeat you in combat, dominate you, and lead you like you're some weak cog." He flicked his wings. "You are nothing but a disappointment and I am ashamed to ever have had called you 'son.' Maybe if you hadn't trined such useless scrap piles as this whore and bastard you might actually be a real Seeker. Disgusting and embarrassing." He grunted in revulsion.

Thundercracker flicked his wings, optics filled with such hatred I had never seen before. And I was scared. I lowered my wings, part of me feeling like I was back being his submissive about to get a beating, and the other part feeling like… I would actually witness Thundercracker murdering someone. I wanted to hug him and he hold me, protecting me from whatever had made him so angry, but I was too scared to touch him.

"I'm 'pathetic' for loving the best trinemates in the world?" Thundercracker growled his engine, snorting out steam. "I'm 'weak' for being upset that my mate tried to kill himself?" He growled with gritted denta. "What would you do if carrier committed suicide? How would you feel if she attempted it o-or succeeded?!" He roared, gesturing at Borealis who had coolant leaking down her cheekplates, hugging Gale.

That cold, sparkless gaze of Steelwing's turned onto his son. "If she attempted suicide I would flog her than kill her myself. If she was successful… Time for a new mate. Either way, she would be a coward and not worth dealing with, much less breeding. And cowards only deserve death.

I wouldn't say Thundercracker was slow, but he wasn't the fastest Seeker. But in this instance… I had never seen someone leap out of their chair and punch their sire so fast or so hard.

Steelwing fell back, his chair collapsing on the ground. He didn't have time to figure out what had happened before Thundercracker was upon him, punching him ruthlessly in the faceplates and tearing at his plating. Steelwing fought back, striking his son and trying to get him off.

Borealis was screaming, and Gale was holding her, the two scared to get involved. Fear created because submissives shouldn't interfere with trineleader business. Or fights.

I was not afraid. I was shocked at first and forgot how cycling air worked or how to get my HUD to stop screaming danger at me, but I quickly snapped out of it. My Seeker programming kicked in instantly, and I rushed in. Not to stop the fight, no. I still remember a certain "training" session from a certain "Steelwing" which still gives me panic attacks and nightmares to this orbital cycle. And I wanted revenge.

I started to punch and tear at him, and I tasted energon. Not mine. But his as some splattered in my mouth and all over my faceplates. He managed to punch me, tear at my plating, and finally get to his peds. We were activating our thrusters, tearing at each other, engines growling, snarling, biting, unleashing only the fury of murderous Seekers could.

Skywarp was soon involved, the trine instinct now driving him. I wasn't sure who tore an arm off first, but Skycutter suddenly was missing one of those, and I know I got half a leg ripped off at the knee, but someone tore his wing in half. Everything was so slippery in his and our energon.

I felt pain from behind, and before I knew it I was thrown onto the table, Gale on top of me, tearing at me, his need to protect his trineleader taking over him. I grabbed his chestplates and tore them, trying to reach his organs. He smashed my helm into the table repeatedly, then punched my cockpit hard enough to break it. I felt him tearing into me, pulling out wires, and I desperately tried to get to his wires. I screamed when he yanked out a handful of my wires and I think he had part of my engine. It fragging hurt. My HUD was flashing, and I was desperate to get him off me.

There was a flash of purple and Skywarp punched Gale off me. I scrambled away, falling off the table, slipping in energon, gasping and coughing up energon and oil. I shrieked when my wing was grabbed and I was swung into the wall. I was thrown down, then felt someone pressing their ped against my back just before I felt the worst pain coming from my back. I shrieked and desperately tried to get away, listening to the tearing of metal, ripping of wires, and high pitched whines of hydraulics being bent in ways they shouldn't. Then I felt less pain, and lighter. I saw my wing thrown down in front of me, taking me a moment to realize that I had just had a wing torn off my body.

I felt myself being lifted up my the shoulders some before something wrapped around my neck. I felt myself being strangled as my attacker pressed down on me. And of course I saw Brakelight, feeling as if this was him attacking me, and I started to panic, freezing up, and coolant pouring from my optics from the fear.

"STOP IT! STOP!" Borealis shrieked desperately. "PLEASE, STOP!"

I felt the thing around my neck loosening, then I was able to get my attacker off me and scramble to my peds, almost falling as I slipped through a puddle of energon. I backed away, seeing Gale there holding a whip he had been using to strangle me with. The floor was purple with energon, and much of it coming from Steelwing, who was lying on the floor missing half a leg, both his wings, an arm, and much of his front plating. One optic was ripped out, half of his jaw gone with his glossa hanging out, and his shoulder vents non-existent. He was coated in energon, but still online, engine growling, but gurgling, and coughing up energon.

Thundercracker was missing half an arm, half of his face, his glossa, a wing, most of one leg, a shoulder vent, much of the plating on his chest, and wires pulled out from his shattered cockpit. His helm was cocked to the side, a neck hydraulic torn out, making him unable to lift his helm up.

Skywarp had plates torn off and part of his helm missing. His olfactory sensor was no more, and there was a gaping hole in his cheekplates that allowed the inside of his mouth to be seen and his denta. His wings were twisted and bent, and his left arm was hanging by wires from his shoulder.

Gale had his chestplates torn apart, faceplates badly damaged, and wings bent.

I had a broken cockpit, wires hanging out, a wing missing, my faceplates are damaged, and chestplates all ripped up.

Borealis was not damaged, having not entered the fight, but she was a bawling mess. I was on an energy boost and seeing my damaged trinemates from combat… I wanted them to frag me…

Borealis was beside her trineleader the moment the fighting ceased, crying as she started to stop the leaking. Gale hesitated, then went into the other room to get a med kit. Thundercracker lowered his remaining wing, then got down on the floor beside his sire and did his best to try and help. Gale returned with the med kit, and the three worked on fixing Steelwing enough so he could travel to the hospital. I hung back, wishing they would leave him to die.

"Get… Out… Of… My… Home…" Steelwing managed to say slowly, his vocalizer spazzing with static, sounding weird with his lack of a jaw.

"'Ow 'bout I get you out of here and to a hospita-uh." Thundercracker said, unable to make much sense without his glossa and half his mouth missing.

"You are… No longer… Welcomed… Here…"

"I never was…" Thundercracker growled.

I hate Steelwing, but I know Thundercracker still loved him. And he especially loved his carrier. I vented a sigh, then snapped my digits. My trinemates quickly turned to look at me, attentive to what I was about to command of them.

"Skywarp, teleport us all to the hospital. The both of you… Grab the severed limbs." I approached Steelwing as my trinemates went to work picking up body parts. "You may be pissed at me, but don't you dare separate Thundercracker from his carrier. I'll pay for the hospital bill. All of it. And I will never return here or be in your presence again. Just allow Thundercracker to still see his carrier." I paused, knowing that wouldn't be enough for him. I had to give him more of what he wanted because he's that kind of aft. "And if I do grace your presence, I will submit to punishment if I disobey your rules or disrespect you in your home. Deal?"

He just glared at me, but seeing how he wasn't telling me to die or anything, I believed that meant he accepted.

My trinemates returned to me, and Skywarp quickly teleported us to the hospital. The staff were not pleased to see a group of badly damaged Seekers with quite a few limbs being handed to them. But, working in a hospital in Vos meant this was the type of slag you signed up for.

They took Steelwing and his trine to another part of the hospital, and my trine to our own room. We didn't see Steelwing's trine for the rest of the orbital cycle. The doctor and nurses got us fixed up quickly, some energon pumped in us, slapped us with the bill, then sent us on our way. I felt pretty good about how that visit went. Thundercracker didn't say anything for the entire flight home. I thought he might be angry at me or feeling like he lost his right to see his carrier. But when we got home the first thing he did was slam me against the wall, get my legs onto his hips, and got inside of me. That fight made him an absolute beast, so hard and desperate to relieve himself inside of me.

I loved it. I needed it. Just thinking about that fight, the ferocity of my trinemates, all the energon, the sounds of metal tearing and energon splattering… I was so wet down there. I couldn't stop kissing him, my arms wrapped around his helm, caressing those smooth, new faceplates of his. I was moaning loudly, trying to get him in deeper by tightening my legs around his hips. I didn't want him to stop, ever.

I found myself slammed onto the berth, not remembering him carrying me there. He was on me, thrusting savagely into me. Oh, it was heavenly. Skywarp was there, his servos over my frame, ravaging my lip plates with hungry kisses, his glossa in my mouth. I felt Thundercracker overload in me, and soon had Skywarp in me, and Thundercracker in him. I overloaded, clinging to Skywarp as he humped me like a possessed, perverted tentacle monster, that stupid rape face of his plastered on his visage, his glossa sticking out the corner of his mouth. Primus, he's so creepy doing that. Why did it make me love him more?

I don't know how many times they overloaded into me, each other, before I found myself in the middle, Skywarp on the berth facing me, Thundercracker behind me, pinning me down on top of Skywarp. The two biting my neck cables, pulling my plating to be as close to me as possible, absolutely ravaging my body with their possessive servos groping me, sending electrical shocks into my transformation seams, and holding me close. My mouth unable to escape Skywarp's passionate kisses, nipping me, his glossa inside my mouth, trying to go as deep as possible, fighting with my glossa. Thundercracker bit my nape possessively, growling, snarling, his arms holding my waist so tight I felt like I would pop in half. I just thrust into Skywarp. That's all I could get myself to do as they took control over me, owned me, made me their plaything.

And I loved all of it. I loved not having control of my body. I belonged to them, and they could do whatever they wanted to me. Call me their interface slave, I didn't care anymore. So long as they were the ones touching me, I would allow anything to be done to me. Minus… a select few kinks… I do have some respect for my sanity and well-being…

I eventually found myself snuggled between my mates, overheated, exhausted, and so beyond satisfied. I snuggled into Skywarp's chassis, his brow pressed against mine as he hugged me lovingly. Thundercracker was behind me, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, possessively holding me close to him. One of his legs was wrapped over mine, his chin resting on the top of my help, and his codpiece pressed against my aft, probably so when he got hard in the morning he would have his target straight ahead.

I faintly smiled, feeling so safe and loved with these two. So thankful that my abuser was one of the very few who changed their ways and became better, not worse. I couldn't imagine my life without these two, or the love and joy they brought to my life every orbital cycle. Not just with the interface, but simply being there, loving me, accepting me, and never betraying me. They are the absolute best, and despite some fights and arguments we had and will have, I will always love and cherish these two morons.

"Love you" I said softly.

"Love you, too, Scree." Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates.

"Love you both." Thundercracker said, not moving, but I heard his engine purr a little.

I love my trinemates.

"Hey, fatso."

Skyfire vented a sigh. "Please, don't comment about my weight."

"Can I comment about this weight?" I patted his aft then groped his codpiece.

"Stop." He paused. "The hell are you wearing?"

"Huh? Oh, this." I tugged at the cyberdog collar I was wearing around my neck, the ID tags jingling. "Thundercracker told me I wasn't allowed to leave home without it. In case I got lost." I nodded sagely with my optics offline.

Skyfire raised an optical ridge, then rolled his optics. "Please, tell me you're not getting involved in the whole… pet kink thing."

"I'm already his pet." I giggled with a wing flutter.

"Ew."

"Read my tags!" I bounced on my peds.

"Do I dare?"

"Just do it, you oversized combustion engine."

"That made so sense." He got down on one knee and held the ID tags to examine. He rolled his optics once reading them. "That's disgusting."

"So is your face!"

He stood up and returned to his work. "No one better see you in that."

"People wear collars all the time, Sky."

"Yeah, they're called freaks.'"

"This sexy carrier is not 'freak.' I'm a CILF."

"Ewwwwwwwww!"

"Says the one who fragged me only when I've been a carrier." I sat on a chair and spun around in it. "CILF fragger! Whoo! We have stud! Rawr!"

"Are you alright?"

"I got some morning interface and cake. I'm terr-iffic!" I kept spinning around.

"Are you going to work?"

"When I feel like it."

"You're going to throw off your equilibrium stabilizer."

"You sound like a carrier." I kept spinning, looking down at my ID tags. I loved them. One read "This Glitch is Fragging Lost!" Another read, "Return to Owner. This Slave Escaped and Requires An Aft Beating." And my favorite, "Property of Seeker Thundercracker. Slave Requires Frequent Aft Beatings and Interface From Its Master." And I even had one that had TC's commlink frequency, and one from Skywarp which read, "Return the Aft if Nothing Else."

"Don't act like a sparkling, then."

I looked up at him, turning my helm to focus best I could on him as I kept spinning. "You ever imagined yourself being a carrier?"

"I could not handle the pain. I have respect for who can, and go through it multiple times."

"Awwwww! You respect me." I giggled, still spinning. "What about being a sire?"

"I mean… One orbital cycle I would like to have a sparkling or two… Maybe three." He sheepishly smiled, looking down at his work.

"With?"

He rolled his optics, still smiling. "With you."

"Awwwww! He wants to have creations with the pet CILF!"

"Ew…"

"I have my leash if you want to walk me." I held it up.

"Okay, stop with the kink stuff."

"Not fragging so not a kink."

"Then what is it?"

"Thundercracker has possession issues. It was either this collar or he write all over my wings and aft who I belong to. He also told me he would write his designation on my spark casing like what Conjunx Endura do."

"Trines don't do that?"

"Nah… It's a grounder thing that just became a Conjunx Endura thing. Seekers never embraced it. We just hump each other in public to show who belongs to whom."

"Subtle."

I giggled. "I prefer our way."

"I'm sure you do…" He watched me for a moment before speaking. "Come here."

"No!" I snickered, giving the floor an extra hard kick to keep me spinning.

"Now, Starscream." He patted his lap, knowing how to draw me in.

I perked my wings, still spinning. "Sitting or lying over?"

"Whatever gets you here."

I stopped my chair, my equilibrium stabilizer dizzy as it tried to settle back to normal. My chair had stopped so it was now between me and Skyfire. I grabbed the arms of the chair, kicked myself up, and did a servo-stand, wanting to show off as usual to the ungraceful shuttle. I started to lean backwards so I would end up on the opposite side of the chair, and hence facing my lover, but one should never do stupid things on chairs with wheels. It slid out from under me, and having so much of my weight jerked to one side of it caused it to flip over. And the Seeker was the ungraceful one that orbital cycle as I fell on my face.

"Ack!"

"Star!" Skyfire ran over, quickly beside me. "You alright?"

I giggled, sitting up. "I fail at life." I held up my arms to him, and he picked me up bridal style. He carried me over to his chair and sat down, placing me on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, just before kissing him on the lip plates. "Hey, sexy." I said softly, wings fluttering.

"Hey, yourself." He placed a servo on my aft, another on my hip.

I licked his cheekplates, then forced my glossa into his mouth. I pressed my front against his chassis, his servos feeling and groping my body. I heard his cooling fans whirling to life, and that click of his spike cover opening. I smirked.

"Perv."

"Turn around." He ordered, firmly, but lovingly.

I handed him my leash. "Use it. Or I bite him the moment you let him out."

"If you bite my spike I will-"

"Turn me over your lap and use a cable? I'm hoping for it." I snapped at him, wings fluttering.

Skyfire rolled his optics, snatched the leash from me, and attached it to my collar. He then gave it yank.

"Gah!" I smirked, my faceplates in his. "You going to ride this dog?"

"Ewwwww!" He grabbed me and turned me around quickly. "You are so nasty."

"And yet you love me anyway."

He removed his codpiece, and indeed the spike gods had blessed him with a very large, hard one. Praise be to them!

"Sit." He commanded.

I lifted myself, removed my codpiece, and lowered myself slowly onto him, gasping until I was all the way down. I leaned back against him, his servos feeling my waist and down my thighs. His hot exhales on my nape just before he bit above the collar. I gasped, submitting myself fully to him. He bit my shoulder, then down my back to my wing, and started to bite my wing. I winced, whimpering some, but I stayed put, knowing my place.

He was giving my wing an extra hard bite and tug when he suddenly stopped. His wings perked, then I felt his index digit running down the seam of my wing, his own wings perking.

"Did you… Replace your wing or something?"

"Huh?" I looked back at him.

"This is all new and there's signs of self repair. Did you crash?"

"Oh, that. No, I went with TC to visit his creators. My sire-in-law was a major aft, really nasty, and he insulted TC's carrier. and of course TC allows no one to insult his carrier. So, a fight broke out. I got a wing ripped off. Steelwing lost limbs, like his jaw, most of his front… TC lost limbs and half of his sexy face. Warp was damaged, too, but better off." I replied nonchalantly.

Skyfire took a moment, his optics widening. "I'm sorry, you got in a fight and sustained that much damage?"

"It was just a scuffle."

"That's not a scuffle."

"It is in Seeker standards. Should see what happens when we want to kill each other." I shrugged.

"Why did you get involved?"

"Trines stick together. And I like fighting. I'm a Seeker. We do that."

"It's not good. You should try to resolve conflicts through mutual understanding, peaceful agreements, and discussion."

I faked a yawn. "Borrring! I like the Seeker way."

"Star, you're going to only get hurt and make things worse. Please, don't get into fights. Do it for me?"

I vented a sigh, then looked back at him. "I'll try. But I may still need to fight."

"I know this is as good as it will get from you." He took my chin and kissed me over a wing. "Did you at least win?"

"I got my aft kicked by Gale. But Thunder tore his sire apart. So… Yes." I smiled.

"Got your aft kicked? Did you bend over for him?"

I rolled my optics. "So mean to me… No, He took me by surprise and… I found myself on the floor and he got my wing torn off before he started to strangle me."

"Did you get him off?"

I paused, remember how I froze, how I saw Brakelight. I could of died because of my PTSD acting up and that panic attack. I bit my lip plate, then shook my helm.

"What happened?" Skyfire asked, sensing my mood changing.

"He… Gale got an off powered energon whip around my neck and was strangling me. He was on top of me, holding me down and I… I just flashbacked to… To Brakelight. A-and I… I panicked… And froze…" I swallowed. "If it had been a fight to the death or something I would be dead… Or my waste port no longer virgin… And I am not anyone's glitch in that way." I waved a digit to emphasize.

"I'm going to ignore that last part." He hugged me close, and I adjusted myself with him still in me. "You want to try therapy? Talk to someone about Brakelight?"

"I doubt it would help at this point…"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Just has been over two vorns…"

"Therapy always helps no matter how much time has passed." He kissed my nape. "Have you told your trinemates?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't need them mad at me."

"Why would they be mad? You were a sparkling who was raped. You had no idea what was happening or what to do."

"I don't need them judging me…"

"Star…" He vented a sigh. "Do they love you?"

"Yes."

"Without a doubt?"

"None."

"How much do they love you?"

"Enough to kill."

"If they love you so much, why would they be mad at you?"

"I don't know… Just… Might."

"No, they won't. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because they love and accept you for who you are and what who've been through. I know they won't hurt you for what happened to you." He hugged me. "You should tell them. It'll make you feel better having them to talk to about it, and know that they will have your back if anyone were to ever mock you for what happened."

"I don't know…"

"Will you think about it?"

I hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah… I can…"

He kissed me. "Please, do."

I bit my lip plate, then vented a sigh. "Whatever. Let's just frag." I grabbed the arms of the chair before lifting myself up.

Skyfire held my hips, then pulled me down onto him. "Faster."

I smirked. "Use the collar, big guy."

Skyfire rolled his optics before tugging the leash. "Faster." He said firmly.

"Faster, what?"

"Faster, slave?"

"No."

"Faster my love of my life?"

"Ew…"

Skyfire groaned. "Faster… Dog."

"That's it!" I Triumphantly smiled, lifting myself up and down on that gloriously, huge spike."

I giggled as Thundercracker pulled me close to him, snuggling into that big, strong, sexy hunk of mine. The three of us were in the tub (we chose this apartment because of the giant tub for just this reason), Thundercracker in the middle holding us close to him, sitting in warm water and lots of suds. Scented candles burned all around the tub and washroom, and the small table we placed beside the tub had engex, carbonated, sweet engex, and engex goodies. All around were petals from crystal flowers, the light from the candles reflecting off them in the dim room

Not having creations around anymore was so nice sometimes.

"Love you, both." Thundercracker said, kissing us each on the lip plates.

"Love ya more, hump master." Skywarp snicker before grabbing a mess of suds and putting it on Thunder's face.

"How about not." Thundercracker wiped it away as Skywarp giggled.

"I'll clean ya, sexy!" Skywarp grabbed a cloth and started to scrub Thundercracker's chestplates.

I have to admit, my mech looks so much hotter all wet and in suds. And then when he's covered in energon, oil, and engine grease from combat… Oh, I am flooding between the legs!

I watched them, silent, thinking about my conversation with Skyfire. I did want to tell my trinemates about Brakelight, but I was scared. I didn't want to be rejected, hated, or shunned. I was so happy with them, and my life was almost perfect now. I didn't want anything to change all because they found out I had my virginity taken by a grounder, my honor lost and never able to be restored… I was disgusting. I was absolutely awful, and I was a liar, and I wasn't worthy to be theirs. I hated myself, and I didn't want to ruin their lives.

But what if they did forgive me? If they truly did love me, wouldn't they want me no matter if I had honor or not? Wasn't honor just another social construct of traditionalism, or did it have an important purpose? I didn't know anymore.

Then again… I had cheated on them with Skyfire and they loved me anyway. And they didn't cast out Zephyr when she had been raped…

Maybe… Maybe I should tell them. Maybe it would help me. And maybe… Maybe I could fight my demons if I had my trinemates there beside me in the battle. Maybe Skyfire was right about this. He had been right about the abuse and traditionalism… Maybe I should listen to the fat shuttle more.

I swallowed, deciding to take the plunge. Best case scenario, they accept me, love me, and nothing changes. Worst case… They kill me. Which is something Seekers do to bad trinemates if they feel it necessary. I'm not exaggerating.

"Hey… Thunder, Warp?" I said quietly.

"Yes, my love?" Thundercracker gave me a loving squeeze, kissing my brow.

"Um… I-I have something I want to tell you." I kept looking down, winging my servos under the water.

Thundercracker knew it was something important, sensing how upset I was. "What's wrong? Who do I need to kill?" His wings flared and optics narrowed.

"He's long gone, now…" I still kept looking down.

"Who?"

I bit my lower lip plate, then spoke. "I-I lied to you guys. W-when we trined."

"How so?" Thundercracker raised an optical ridge.

"Are you not Starscream, but rather some female, organic alien from another planet here to impregnate us with your eggs, and infest all of Cybertron to rule with an iron claw and turn us into space monkeys?" Skywarp inquired. Ah, never change, Warp.

"No, I…" I inhaled deeply. "I was not a virgin when you trined me."

"What?" Thundercracker gave me a puzzled look. "You weren't trined before…"

"No… I…" I still didn't look at them, biting my lip plate harder. "I-I was… I-I didn't ch-choose to have it…" Coolant started to pool in my optics, seeing his face again. "I didn't want the interface… H-he hurt me."

"Who hurt you?" Thundercracker's vocalizer was firmer. Not angry at me, but at my attacker. "What happened?"

"You can tell us, Scree. We're not mad." Skywarp said it in such a gentle, loving, caring, and concerned vocalizer I just… I knew I was safe. And I finally spoke.

"I-I was 5 stellar cycles old i-in school… There was… This teacher. A-a grounder mech…" I swallowed. "Brakelight." I had to pause, saying his designation… I saw him, that smile, those optics… And I heard his vocalizer. "H-he w-would take me to his office and…" Coolant was leaking down my cheekplates, and I almost broke, but held myself together so I could finish. "He would touch me… grope me… And it lasted decacycles that he did that to me, grooming me. I-I didn't know better. H-he kept touching me, a-and made me touch him… Until one orbital cycle he just…" I couldn't say it, remembering it. The memory coming back fully. All the pain, the fear… I broke, unable to speak anymore as I cried.

I felt like an idiot crying about it in front of my trinemates. I was trineleader, this happened so long ago, I had interfaced a billion times so it didn't matter… No, it did matter. And I wasn't stupid for it still effecting me at that time, and even still. It's something that no one should ever endure. And showing my distress over it was natural and how I coped with it. And I had every right to cry.

Thundercracker pulled me onto his lap, holding me close. Skywarp hugged me as well, their engines purring to comfort me. I just cried, trying to calm down. Trying to caste him back into the darkness of my processor. I tried thinking of my creations, anything to get that memory out of my processor, even temporary.

Thundercracker lifted my chin, making me look at him once I had calmed down some. There was no anger in his optics, just sadness and his undying love for me. "You know I love you, right?"

I nodded, wiping at my optics.

"Then you know that no matter what happened to you when you were young, I would never change that. You are my everything. I swore an oath to you, and I will keep it. I love you, Starscream." He paused. "I don't know what else to say to you about what happened. I'm pissed that it happened, and I want nothing more than to track him down and put him through absolute hell. Hopefully one orbital cycle I can find him for you and disembowel him before you like the prince you are deserves to see. But until that orbital cycle… Just know that I love you, I don't care if you were pure or not when I trined you, and you regained your honor already."

"How?"

"By being the most amazing trinemate, a wonderful creator, a hero to your creations and us, and just being a kind, loving, incredible Seeker. Honor, no honor, pure, impure… You're mine, I love you, and no one will ever touch you again. Not as long as my spark pulses."

I sheepishly smiled, then hugged him, unable to speak.

"Yeah, Scree. No one is ever touching ya again. And I'll kill anyone who gets their grubby servos on you. And I love ya no matter what happened or will happen. You're mine, forever and always." Skywarp replied resolutely.

"Promise?" I managed to say.

"Promise." Thundercracker kissed me. "And if you ever need to talk to someone, you have us. We're here for you."

"You guys are too perfect. I hate you." I grunted before smirking.

Thundercracker chuckled. "Love you, too."

"Do you feel better telling us?" Skywarp inquired.

I didn't respond immediately. "I think so. I still.. I have flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks over what he did to me all the time. It makes things hard… I sometimes am reminded of him when with you guys because of something you do or say. And I just want it to stop."

"Well, let's work on it." Thundercracker said, stroking my backplates soothingly. "We are going to make the nightmares stop and get you better from him until we can tear off his limbs. And we won't tell anyone. No one else needs to know."

"Thanks, TC."

"Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us. Trines shouldn't have secrets. Just unadulterated love and trust." He smiled.

I faintly smiled back, wishing he had chosen different wording. "Yeah, no more secrets." I hugged him. "Love you."

"Love you, more."

I was soon kissed by those two amazing idiots, feeling better about not having to hide that dark secret of mine any longer from them. I just wish I could be entirely honest with them and not be hiding some of the things I was…

And that's another done! This story is 761 pages long thus far... Will I make it to 1,000 pages? So far, it's longest stand alone "book" I've written.

Real pissed lately... Anti-vaccers have caused the deaths of hundreds of children in the US this year as the flu took the most lives this year in comparison with the last 5 years. Measles is returning quickly and more and more babies are dying. Fucking idiots, vaccines are HARMLESS and morons who don't vaccinate children or pets should NOT have them. Funny thing is, anti-vaccers are all vaccinated themselves. Funny how that works. And they claim that vaccines are just exploiting money, but the pharmaceutical companies LOSE money keep people from getting sick verses making them get sick and need to be hospitalized for weeks to months before dying...

Idiots... Hate anti-vaccers... And, no, vaccines don't contain animals or aborted fetuses... More lies by the morons who follow fake doctors...

Anyway, besides arguing with idiot carnists, anti-vaccers, racists, homophobes, and Trump lovers, I got my history done! All that's left is Game Animation. I got my model built. Just need to UV map, texture, rig, bone, and animate, then she'll be able to talk, interact in a game, and be playable! W00t!

And once she's done I will be done with college!

Zephyr is now 17 pounds. 13 weeks old, and more than tripled in size since I got her just 6 weeks ago. She knows sit, lie, paw, rollover, and her name. Still peeing in the house, but is getting better. Roommate's dog isn't helping since she's untrained... And roommate is being bitchy to me... Wanting me to pay for a TINY bit of damage Zephyr did to her mattress. You don't need a new $100 mattress... Can't even see the damage on the SIDE of the bed once you put a sheet on it...

Ugh... I've been feeling suicidal as usual, depression is awful, I hate my life, I just want Maggie and Genevieve, and I want to just die to be with them again. Life is not fair...

The tags Starscream is wearing, Zephyr's ID tag says, "This Bitch is Fucking Lost" on it.

Starscream doesn't like being walked like a dog in public, but he's fine with it between just him and the person he's fragging. He's particular that way...

They dump waste so... Star saying he would take a dump works!

Traditional Seekers would not be into BDSM since they use beating, humiliation, and bondage as legit punishments and control tactics. But, some trineleaders might enjoy it... Like Skycutter... So long as the submissives don't try to subvert them.

Suicide is NOT "cowardly" or "sinful." God doesn't condemn people to hell for suicide. He doesn't condemn anyone to hell period... The Bible makes it clear Hell is for Satan and his fallen angels only... Suicide is an awful thing, and people aren't "disobeying" God or taking something away from Him. God knows why people commit suicide. And it hurts Him. He doesn't want us hurting like that. And suicide people don't like being this way. I can promise you that...

CILF = Carrier I'd Like to Frag. Star is one.

Rape can still effect someone even after they've had consensual sex they enjoyed. Same as someone can have a traumatic experience of being beaten and tied up, but still enjoy some BDSM. The problem is because they never consented, it was not on their terms, they were scared and truly helpless, and it now is trauma to them. Don't make someone's suffering less all because they may enjoy something that is similar in some ways later.

That's all I have for now... Don't know when next chapter will be out. I wanted to get to a different point but it was getting long so ended where I did. Guess this story is going to be longer than I originally thought.

I am going to draw what the Royal Seeker Guards look like as well as the palace and get that posted on my deviantART. Then return to work on the next chapter. Which will have bad stuff in it...

My life just sucks, I want my furbabies back, I feel awful, and all this shit in my life just isn't helping...

Just... Go vegan. TRUE vegan. Vaccinate, don't be racist, sexist, or homophobic, fight against Trump and people like him, and just don't be a dick.

That's all I have to say for this note...