Deacon
He felt energized. He felt like he had a purpose every day. It had been a year and a half since he'd been on a stage. It had been nearly a year since he'd written a lick of music. He felt like he'd gotten a new lease on life with his liver transplant and he was restless. Rayna was busy trying to get things back on track at Highway 65. Since Juliette had left the label, she'd been searching for a major artist to fill the void, and she'd wooed and won Markus Keen, the lead singer for some band he knew the girls really liked. The fact that he wasn't a country artist didn't matter. He was a big name and could bring a massive following with him that would hopefully translate to big money. But it had left him with a need to do…something.
He'd been at his sponsor's bar one afternoon. Couldn't understand how a recovering alcoholic could face the temptation every day, yet somehow Frankie Gray was doing it. But the bar itself wasn't doing so hot. He had a great location, but since he was close to the honky tonks, he didn't have enough of a hook to get people to walk in to his place instead. It had been a spur of the moment decision to ask Frankie if he could buy in. He had some ideas he thought would help turn the place around and he'd felt a sense of purpose when Frankie enthusiastically agreed.
Rayna didn't like it, though. She hadn't actually said it out loud, but he could tell she had misgivings. But in his excitement, he'd overlooked it. It wasn't until Frankie asked him why he hadn't talked to her about it before he'd made the decision to buy in that he realized he'd just fallen into old patterns again.
He'd been spending long days at the bar, expanding the stage, adding new seating, upgrading the bar area. He felt a little like a whirling dervish sometimes and every night, when he went home, he was exhausted. Exhilarated, but still exhausted. He was lying in bed, almost asleep, a magazine across his chest. He felt Rayna get into bed and he opened his eyes, turning to look at her. She was working late nights too, these days, producing Markus's album. "Hey, baby," he said, smiling sleepily at her.
"Hey," she said. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss, but she looked distracted. She settled herself under the covers and then lay there with her hands folded on top of each other.
He rolled onto his side, frowning. "What's up? Trouble with Markus again?"
She shook her head, but didn't say anything at first. Then she turned her head to look at him. "I'm kind of worried about this bar, Deacon," she said.
He reached over and took her hand. "Baby, I know I did it without talking to you and I'm sorry about that," he said. She made a face and he smiled. "I guess I kinda sprung it on you."
She nodded, frowning a little. "Yeah, little bit." She bit her lip. "I know you've been looking for something to do. I know it's been a tough year, with you being sick and then recovering from your surgery and everything, but I just need to know you're okay."
He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "I am, baby. Better than I been in a long time. By the time we're done with all the renovation, this place'll be more about music than drinking."
She sighed. "I'm worried you're taking on too much, babe. It hasn't been that long since your surgery, you know."
"I'm fine, Ray. I am. And this is helping. It gives me something to focus on and I feel good about this."
"What about your music?"
"I'll perform on stage. That'll get me back into the swing of things. And, I know this might seem surprising, but I really feel like this is something I'm good at."
She gave him a half-smile. "I'm sure you are." She breathed out. "But it was just sort of…sudden." She looked at him intently. "Reminds me of when you bought the cabin."
He breathed in sharply. "It ain't like that, baby," he said. "It ain't the same at all. You'll see."
She nodded. "Okay." He smiled back at her and leaned in to kiss her, then turned over and turned out the light.
Rayna
She walked in the back door and then over to the island, where she laid her purse. She stood there for a moment and sighed. She looked around, wondering where Deacon was. "Deacon?" she called out. His truck was in the driveway, so she knew he was home, for a change, but he didn't answer. She shrugged out of her jacket and laid it on one of the stools. She walked back towards the music room. When she peered through the glass doors, she saw him sitting on the couch, his back to her, hunched over his guitar with a notebook on the coffee table.
When she opened the door, he put his pencil down and set his guitar aside and turned to look at her. "Hey, baby," he said. She started towards him and he frowned. "What's wrong?"
She had to smile. He was the only person who could see how she was really feeling. She could fool most people with her performance face and smile, but Deacon could always see past that. She sat down next to him and folded her hands on her knees. She felt tired right then. "I've worked so hard to make Highway 65 a success and I just feel like I'm treading water, you know?" she said, feeling the beginning of tears in her eyes.
He turned towards her and took her hands in his. "What's going on, Ray?"
She looked away from him, hoping she wouldn't cry. "Oh, you know. Markus," she said. "I'm worried he's gonna bail. And we're just missing on signing other artists. And with Sadie gone now and I don't have an album…Deacon, I feel like I'm failing at this." She looked back at him. She knew Markus Keen was a sore point for Deacon, so she wasn't surprised to see the scowl on his face. "Bucky says we're in trouble," she whispered.
The scowl turned to concern and he pulled her into his arms. "It's just a bump in the road," he said, rubbing her arm. "I know you and you'll figure something out. You always do."
She looked up at him, smiling gratefully. He'd never stopped being her biggest cheerleader. "I hope you're right," she said, wiping her eyes. "I just, well, you know that I wanted my label to be a place where we could nurture artists and it just feels like it's not working."
He put his hands on her face and leaned in. "It's all gonna work out, baby," he said. "You got Scarlett and Gunnar and Will and you just got Layla, right?" She nodded. "Why don't we try to figure something out for Layla? You know she got good buzz from that download deal so we should take advantage of it, right? Have you come up with a tour for her?"
She made a face. "After Autumn took The Exes, I didn't have another option. I need to think about what to do there."
He took a deep breath. "Why do you think Markus is gonna bail?"
She shrugged. "You know. He's being all squirrelly about everything. I mean, this album thing has been a challenge from the beginning." She rolled her eyes. "And he keeps doubting himself, which worries me. He keeps disappearing on me. Deacon, his record drops in two weeks and we've got media that day plus the show at Public Square. If he walks away…."
He squeezed her hands. "He ain't gonna walk away, Ray," he said. "And even if he does? You got his record, right? You can release the music yourself."
He was right about that, but she really needed Markus to do the publicity. "Yeah, you're right." She smiled at him. "You sure you don't want to sign with Highway 65?"
He grinned. "Already got a job," he said. She smiled back at him, but that particular fact still gnawed at her.
Deacon
"How does Sony even know about her to want to sign her?" he asked. Things were really busy at the bar with all the remodeling going on. Between that and Rayna producing Markus Keen's album, they had really been like ships passing in the night, for weeks. He wasn't even sure he remembered the last time they'd actually slept in bed all night at the same time, much less had more than a five minute conversation. They had talked about Maddie performing with Juliette, without permission, at length. He also knew he and Rayna didn't completely see eye-to-eye on it, so he'd kept a low profile.
"Well, from the video that went out after that deal with Juliette Barnes," Rayna said, sounding exasperated.
He felt a headache coming on, and it wasn't just in his own head. "What do you wanna do?" he asked. He was pretty sure he knew what the answer was.
"I don't really know, babe. She's so defiant right now. She's angry because I told her I wouldn't let her sign. We really need to talk to her."
He could tell she was not only exhausted, but frustrated. Maddie had seemed unusually defiant lately, to use her word, and he wasn't really sure why that was. She was even being mulish with him, which had usually not been the case. He had wondered himself, of late, where his little girl had gone. "Sweetie, whatever you decide, I'm behind you," he said, knowing that, in the end, Rayna would make the decision. That part of their life still irked him sometimes, but he'd learned to just let it go.
"Well, babe, I'd really like for us…."
"Look, baby, we got some deliveries coming in that I gotta handle. I'll see you at home and we can talk about it. Gotta go. Love you."
When he thought about it later, he knew he'd been abrupt with her, and not helpful. But he also knew they would somehow figure it out. He just hoped they could come up with something that wouldn't discourage Maddie and push her further away from them. He sometimes felt like Rayna was too overprotective, probably a reaction to her own experience, but he worried that she was keeping Maddie in a cocoon, protecting her too much. But he had no idea how to talk to her about it.
Rayna
She was exhausted, from the late nights and, quite frankly, from Markus Keen. She'd had no idea how high maintenance he would be and, except for the fact that she needed the business bump he'd undoubtedly bring, she was almost sorry she'd signed him. She still had that gnawing sense of doom when she thought about Deacon and that bar, although she was committed to supporting him. He was working long hours and that worried her too. He wasn't that far removed from his transplant recovery and she recognized the intensity and blind energy from those dark days before he got sober. It scared her – a lot, when she was honest – because she knew it could lead to overconfidence. She shivered just a little.
Then she considered what was going on with Maddie. This was more than just the usual teenage rebelliousness. She recognized it as being what she'd gone through herself at that age. She had not had record deal offers when she was sixteen and that was what scared her the most about what was happening with her daughter. Maddie had no experience with something like this. The deal Edgehill presented, while being a reaction to her severing her own ties with the label, as well as the Sony deal, didn't give Maddie the creative freedom Rayna knew she would want. And should have. She knew it was a huge ego-booster to Maddie, though, and she wished her daughter hadn't overheard about the Sony offer. It was going to be difficult to manage.
She sighed. This would be tricky and she wasn't sure where Deacon was going to fall on the issue. They weren't completely on the same page with this, she knew. Deacon had been prodding her, for years actually, to take Maddie's talent seriously and have a plan. But she had not wanted to face it, hoping she could give both her daughters the opportunity to have a normal life and experiences. But she should have known Maddie would push.
She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. Maybe I just need to sign her. Maybe that will settle her down and satisfy her while I figure out the next move. Then I can bring her along slowly. She thought that was something Deacon would be on board with. They'd had multiple conversations about Maddie's ambition over the years and she knew he was more open to the possibilities. Ray, she's talented. Way more than both of us were at her age. You heard her songs, the ones she wrote with me and by herself. And she's amazing on the guitar. We ain't gonna be able to hold her back. She opened her eyes and breathed in. That's exactly what she was afraid of.
She was startled then by the knock on her window and turned to see Markus standing there, grinning, with a cup of coffee. I do need that coffee. She forced a smile on her face. "You do like lattes, right?" he asked, when she let the window down.
Maddie
Maddie hated having to ride to school with Daphne and her friend Simone. She felt like everyone at school was watching, when she'd get out of the car. It was why she preferred that Colt pick her up, but he wasn't available for some reason. She supposed she ought to spend some time on getting a driver's license so she didn't have to depend on anyone else. She smiled and said hello to Simone's mom and then put her ear buds in and turned on her music. It was really more like background noise as she stared out the window.
Her dad was taking them to the Markus Keen show that night at the square. She was looking forward to it, but she was also feeling frustrated. She and her mom were still at odds over the thing in Atlanta, when she'd gone on stage with Juliette. She could still hear her, at the end of the argument. Girl, you still got so much growing up to do and I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna be making the rules. It made her feel like a child, when she was so not one. She was tired of being held back, especially now that she'd had a taste of what it was like to be on stage, to be in front of all those people. She felt alive, like that was what she was meant to do. All her mom wanted to do was hold her back. Like turning down the Sony deal. She's such a hypocrite. She was doing the same thing when she was my age. It's not fair that I can't.
She frowned. She had thought about talking to her dad about it, but he'd been so busy with his bar that he was never home. And now that he and her mom were back together, it wasn't like she'd thought it would be. When they were apart, she'd felt like he had understood her and supported her dreams, but now it felt like the two of them had teamed up to deny her what she wanted. She felt like he'd betrayed her and it made her angry.
Even Colt seemed to be against her. She'd tried talking to him about all of it, but he'd been distracted since he'd been back in Nashville. She wondered if it was because they'd had sex. Talia had told her not to be surprised if Colt was no longer interested, now that she'd 'put out'. That made her uncomfortable. It had been the most magical night of her life, finally having sex with her boyfriend and then performing on stage with Juliette Barnes. Nothing about it now seemed so magical. Colt was ignoring her and her mom was trying to control her and her dad was letting it happen. Her mom had decided to sign her to Highway 65, but it was to perform with Daphne, although nothing was happening on that front. At all.
She glanced over at Daphne, who was chattering animatedly with Simone. She narrowed her eyes a little and then turned back to the window. She was so over performing little candy cane songs with Daphne. She wanted to do more grown-up music, like 'Telescope', or one of Juliette's other songs. She was feeling trapped, held back from doing what she loved, what she was born to do. It was her destiny, her legacy.
Her parents were getting in her way of following her dream. She was going to have to figure out some way around them.
Deacon
It was supposed to be a special day. He'd planned it all out. First was breakfast in bed. Then he was going to have flowers sent to her office. Then, that night, during the grand re-opening of the bar, he was going to propose, with the ring he'd bought a month earlier. He'd agonized over what to get and he knew he'd driven the salesperson crazy, going back and forth. But he'd finally found a ring he thought was perfect for her.
He put breakfast on the tray. He opened the fridge and got out the container of berries, pouring some in a bowl. He added a glass of orange juice and then went out to the garden and cut a rose. He brought it back in and laid in on the tray. He scrambled eggs and added toast. Then he poured a mug of coffee. He smiled to himself and then, picking up the tray, he carried it upstairs to the bedroom.
He saw her stir a little when he walked into the room. She'd gotten home very late and he'd let her sleep in past mid-morning. "Time to wake up," he said, with a smile.
She rolled over and then sat up, smiling, her eyes sparkling. "What in the world?" she asked.
He set the tray down. "Somebody has earned a little breakfast in bed today," he said.
She reached up and took his face in her hands and kissed him. "Thank you," she said, with a huge smile. "What's the occasion?"
"Are you kidding me? After last night, you are officially Nashville's hottest label head slash producer slash love of my life." He smiled happily as she put her hands on her face in surprise. "I'm so proud of you, baby," he said, leaning in for another kiss.
"Thank you," she said. She looked at him with a look of joy on her face. "I can hardly believe that really happened. Last night was just such a victory, you know? All that hard work, all those late nights, all those temper tantrums."
He shook his head. "I gotta say, you were right, Markus ain't so bad after all."
She made a face. "Well, I don't know if I'd go that far."
Five minutes later, they were fighting. Markus had actually kissed her. And then was trying to bail on her. And she was running after Markus, all while they were fighting about him. He followed her into her closet and argued with her the whole time she was getting dressed. He followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. She finally whirled around on him, her eyes flashing with anger.
"Damn it, Deacon, I can't believe you're doing this right now! You know how much this meant for my label and I can't let it go down the drain like this!" she shouted.
"But he made a pass at you, Rayna!" he shouted back. "I was right about that guy all along. He just wants to hook up with you."
"Stop it! Stop it right now!" she hissed, stomping her foot. "I can't believe how ridiculous you're being. I thought you'd gotten past this kind of childish behavior a long time ago, Deacon, but clearly I was wrong. Nothing has changed. You act like you own me! And you don't! But unfortunately, I still need him on my label, so I gotta figure out a way to fix this!" She grabbed her purse and started for the door.
He followed and grabbed her arm. "Don't do this, Rayna," he said, scowling at her.
She pulled away. "Don't tell me what to do, Deacon," she said, her voice low and firm. "This isn't twenty years ago." Then she turned and walked out the door.
He slammed his hand down on the counter. The whole day had just been ruined.
Rayna
She fought back tears as she drove away from Markus's hotel. She had begged and pleaded with him, thought for a minute she'd changed his mind, in the end to lose him after all. He swore it was just that his old band got back together, but she was sure it was that she had firmly rebuffed him after that kiss. Not that she would change anything about that, but he wouldn't even acknowledge it. He just walked away and now she felt like her whole world had imploded. She had no idea what she would do next. Her label had been hanging by a thread and now everything she'd hung her hat on had just walked out the door, seemingly without a concern that he was bailing on her.
She had a hard time catching her breath. She had finally walked down the hall to the elevator and then out to the lobby, in a daze. She called Bucky with the bad news and now was on her way to the office so they could try to figure out a way to salvage the disaster Markus Keen had left them with.
The quarter million downloads from the night before had only continued to grow exponentially. There was no guarantee what would happen when word got out that Markus had bailed on the label, and his album, to go back to his old band. She and Bucky huddled over the promotion schedule and the single release schedule and ultimately decided to go with what they had. She would handle the promotional tour and they would release the singles as planned. Bucky walked her through the radio schedule, with the crossover plan.
By the time they were done, she was exhausted and had a headache. And then she remembered Deacon's grand re-opening. She looked at the clock. "Damn, Bucky, I'm late," she said. "I was supposed to be at Deacon's bar an hour ago."
He looked as tired as she felt. He smiled compassionately. "Look, we've done all we can do. We've reworked everything." He shook his head. "You're gonna be pretty busy for the next few weeks, but you're the best I know at doing publicity. If anyone can save this for us, it's you. Go celebrate with Deacon."
She smiled appreciatively and got up from her desk, shrugging on her jacket and wrapping her scarf around her neck. She slipped her phone into her purse and slid it on her shoulder. "Thanks, Buck," she said. "You're right. We'll take care of it."
She walked around the desk and Bucky embraced her. "Have a good night, Rayna," he said. She made a face. "Try to anyway."
She lifted her hand in a wave and walked out the door.
It felt like she was twenty-five again. After all the years since then and everything she thought they'd learned about each other, she felt like she'd gone back in time. Deacon's petulance and jealousy had knocked her back. Now she stood on the bridge, with tears in her eyes, wondering what had happened to undo all those years. She hadn't expected to find him still so pissed off that he didn't care that her label might not survive this. She couldn't believe that, after all the years he'd supported her dreams, this was the time he'd decided to stop. She was too hurt to look at him and so she'd walked away.
She wiped the tears away and breathed in deeply. They'd get past it, she knew that. They'd had worse fights than this, over bigger issues, and they'd survived a divorce that should have broken them completely. But she needed him to think about what he was doing and how dangerously close he was treading to his old behavior. She didn't want to consider that he wouldn't realize what he'd done, it might just take him a minute or two to do that.
She thought about the fact that, over the years, they'd learned that a fight didn't mean the end of them. Even one of them walking away from the other didn't mean the end of them. She wasn't really sure, anymore, that there was anything that would really mean the end of them. She didn't really want to test the waters to see how close they could get, though, and this felt a little closer than she would have liked. She was pretty sure this wasn't so much about Markus, she just didn't know how long it would take for him to figure out what it really was.
"Hey." She turned at the sound of his voice to see him walking towards her.
"Hey." She held her breath, wondering if he'd figured things out.
He took a place next to her, as they leaned on the bridge rail together and looked out over the river. "I guess some things don't change," he said. She turned to face him. He looked at her earnestly. "I do support you, Ray. I support your career, I support Highway 65. It means everything to me because I know what it means to you." He breathed out. "I got jealous. Not because of nothing you did or Markus." He shook his head. "I know Markus wasn't gonna take you away from me. But, you know, all that time you were in the studio with him. I mean, that was us, Ray. That was me. And you know how…intimate that is."
She nodded. "I do. And I miss doing that with you. I miss all of that. I miss you." She leaned towards him and he kissed her.
He smiled at her, a little crookedly. "You know, we been through so much together. Sometimes I wish I could change all of it, go back and do it different. But then I think we just needed to go through all of it, so I guess I wouldn't change nothing." He breathed out. "Except doing this different." He surprised her then by getting down on one knee. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box, opening it up for her to see. She felt the tears in her eyes as she looked down at the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. "Baby, I love you so much. Will you marry me?"
She smiled through her tears and nodded. "Yes," she said. She leaned down to kiss him and then she could see the tears in his eyes as he stood back up and, taking the ring out of the box, slid it on her finger. Then he took her in his arms and kissed her again.
Deacon
He put his arm around her shoulders and she put hers around his waist, as they walked back down the bridge. Neither one said anything until they got to the end. Then Rayna stopped and turned to face him. He looked at her questioningly, putting his hands on her arms. She breathed in and then out. "Sometimes" – she took another breath – "sometimes I wish I could do everything over." He could see tears in her eyes.
He raised his eyebrows. They'd had this conversation before. "What would you change?"
She bit her lip. "Everything." He raised his eyebrows and then she shook her head. "Nothing, really." He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. She looked at him again, with sadness in her eyes. "Don't you wish, sometimes though, we'd been able to figure all this out a long time ago? That we didn't go through all the craziness we went through all those years?"
He shrugged. "Well, sure, sometimes I wish that," he said. "But life was tough back then. You know that. We talked about that. Maybe, I don't know, maybe we needed that time apart."
She raised her shoulders slightly. "But we lost so much time together." She smiled a little. "I mean, we still loved each other anyway."
He put his hands in his pockets and looked past her. "I don't know, Rayna. I always thought that we shoulda been able to figure it out, but I don't know if anything woulda been different, you know?" He looked back at her. "Maybe I'd never been able to figure out getting sober. Maybe we wouldn't have learned how to be friends." He shrugged again and smiled. "You wouldn't have Daphne."
She smiled back at him. "Well, that last part is definitely true. And that would have been a real loss." She sighed. "I guess you're right. But, do we have it figured out now? Really? Are we crazy to think it's gonna work better the second time around? I mean, I don't want us to fall back into old patterns."
He breathed in. "We're a long way from who we were the first time we got married. A lot is different. And yeah, I do think it's gonna work better. And I think we'll still do some of the same things. We always have." He grinned. "It's kinda who we are, Rayna. We fight, we love, we slam doors, we still want each other. And it don't matter, in the end, who was right." He pulled her into his arms. "It's all good. We'll just know more this time around."
She smiled up at him and he leaned down to kiss her. Then she held up her hand and let the diamond ring reflect the moonlight. "At least we did this in the right order this time," she said, with a laugh.
He chuckled. "Well, the first time, I gotta admit, I was just so overwhelmed by you I couldn't help but ask you. You were sitting there, pretty and sweet, like a real angel, and I just couldn't think about my life without you. This time, at least I'm old enough to plan better." He winked. "Oh, and I knew you better too."
She pretended to be shocked. "What? You thought I'd expect a diamond ring?" she asked.
He made a face. "Well, you did have that monstrosity Luke gave you," he said.
She smacked him on the arm. "You know this one means way more to me than that one ever could have."
He smiled and kissed her. "I do know that." He breathed in. "I always knew, somehow, some way, we'd get back to this."
She nodded. "You're right. It was always there, even if it was under the surface." She breathed out. "Maybe we should go back and tell the girls."
Cash
When she first met Maddie, Cash thought she was just a precocious teenager. She was one of those who liked to think she was grown up, but was actually star struck and immature. Since their fathers were business partners, their paths crossed often. But as she spent more time around Maddie, she saw a girl who reminded her a lot of herself. Maddie's parents, especially her mother, held her back, kept her from doing what she loved, except in very controlled environments. Cash saw potential in Maddie, even in the more childish style in which she wrote and performed. At first, she just wanted to encourage her, but, as she got to know Maddie, and as she watched her father feeling pushed out of his own business by Maddie's father, she hatched a plan.
Maddie was easily led and malleable. It was easy to win her over the few times she half-heartedly pushed back. It was easy to build her up to believe she was capable of so much more than her mother would allow. And, of course, Maddie's situation reminded her so much of her own. A mother who wanted to control her and a father who had not always been present and, truth be told, was a bit of a wild card. Maddie was testing her boundaries and she was headstrong, which worked to Cash's advantage.
She wanted more and Cash decided she was going to make sure her protégée got more.
Daphne
Maddie thought her life was complicated. She didn't know the half of it. Sure, Maddie was Deacon's daughter. And their mom had been married to someone else when Maddie was born. Her dad. But now her mom and dad were divorced. Her dad had married Peggy and they had a baby. And now her mom was marrying Deacon. How convoluted was that?
Her mom had been so busy, with work and planning the wedding. But she'd taken today as a girls' day, so they could go to the mall and pick out dresses. She had taken them to the store to show them her wedding dress and, Daphne had to admit, it was beautiful. It made her mom look like a princess. She'd picked out her own dress – not one she was especially excited about, but it was fine – and now she was bored.
She liked Deacon. Loved him, really. He had literally been there her entire life. But it was confusing. She didn't know how she fit in these days. She wandered out of the store and sat on one of the benches in the mall. Maddie was more excited about the wedding, naturally, and Daphne had stood and watched as her sister and her mom oohed and ahhed over dresses.
Her dad and Peggy and her toddler half-brother were going to the beach over the wedding weekend. She had thought about asking if she could go too. But she didn't want to disappoint her mom. And she wasn't even sure her dad and Peggy wanted her to come. She sighed. She felt so out of place.
"Daphne!" She looked up when she heard her mom's voice. "What are you doing out here, sweetheart?" She came over and sat down next to Daphne, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"
Daphne shrugged. "I guess."
"Well, Maddie finally found a dress, so we can all go get some lunch."
Daphne looked at her mom. She looked happier than she had in a long time and Daphne hated to disappoint her. She forced a smile on her face. "Great. I'm hungry."
Rayna
Rayna was pretty sure she'd lost her mind when she and Deacon had decided to get married in a month. After Markus left, she'd had to cover all the publicity. The upside for her was that the album was number one on the iTunes all-genre charts and there were already three singles in the top one fifty downloads, two of them going platinum. Album sales were brisk and they had their first single on the radio. She was breathing a little easier on that front. It had meant she'd gotten the boost she needed for the label, at least for now, so she could focus on her wedding.
But Daphne worried her. Her younger daughter seemed distant, not herself at all. Rayna sat back in her chair and thought about how unenthusiastic Daphne was, about everything. She felt like she'd practically forced her daughter to pick a dress for the wedding and, although she knew Maddie and Daphne were working together on a song they'd perform at the rehearsal dinner, Maddie had been complaining that Daphne wasn't into it. She sighed as she contemplated all that.
Suddenly she got up from her desk and picked up her purse. She slid her phone into it and grabbed her keys. She walked out of her office and stopped at the reception desk. "I'm leaving for the day, but if anyone needs me, they can call," she said. Then she hurried out the door.
When she saw Daphne come out of the school with a couple of her friends, she got out of the car and waved. "Daphne!" she called out. She watched as Daphne stopped and just looked at her. She smiled at her daughter and then she saw Daphne say something to her friends. The other girls walked off in a different direction and Daphne headed down the steps towards her.
"What are you doing here?" Daphne asked, looking both puzzled and a little embarrassed.
Rayna smiled. "I thought I'd pick you up and we could go get pedicures or something," she said.
Daphne frowned. "Why?"
Rayna shrugged. "I wanted some girl time with my girl," she said. "Is that okay?"
"I guess." Daphne looked unenthusiastic.
"Well, come on. Get in the car." She watched as Daphne walked to the car and opened the front door. Then she got in as well and looked over at her daughter. "I just wanted to spend some time with you. Is that okay?"
Daphne looked down at her lap. "Sure." Then she looked up at Rayna. "But we don't have to go get a pedicure."
Rayna wrinkled her brow. "You sure?"
Daphne nodded. "I'm sure."
Rayna smiled. "Well, I've got an idea."
Rayna walked into the music room with two mugs of hot chocolate. She handed one to Daphne, then walked around to sit down on the couch next to her. They both took a sip and then Rayna put hers down on the table. She turned slightly towards Daphne. "Sweetie, I know you've been feeling a little left out," she said. "I don't want you to feel that way."
Daphne didn't say anything at first, but then she sighed. "You're with them now."
Rayna frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You're the family. You and Maddie and Deacon."
Rayna felt her heart break. "Oh, sweetheart, that is so not true." She slid over and put her arm around Daphne. "That's not true at all." She looked down at her daughter. "We're the family. You, me, and your sister. And Deacon's joining us." She ran her hand over Daphne's hair. "You know he loves you. And I want you to know you can always rely on him, to be there for you when you need him."
Daphne looked down. "I guess."
Rayna put her finger under Daphne's chin and raised her head up so she could look her in the eyes. "He loves you the way your father loves Maddie," she said. "Your father loves your sister like she was his own and Deacon loves you the same way."
Daphne looked surprised. "He does?"
Rayna smiled. "Of course he does. Don't ever doubt that." She sat back then and Daphne tucked into her side. "He's really looking forward to being part of our family." She breathed in. "I know you know Deacon and I were married before, a long time ago, but this was what he and I always talked about, having this family together. And now we will." She ran her hand over Daphne's arm. "I hope you won't ever feel like you're not part of this family."
"I won't," Daphne said softly. Then she bit her lip. "Do you think Dad's forgotten about me?"
Rayna's heart hurt when Daphne said that and she hugged her close. "Oh honey, no, of course not. But a little one always takes up a lot of time." She looked down and smiled at her daughter. "You certainly did. But I will talk to him about maybe letting you come spend some extra time with him."
Daphne smiled back. "Thanks, Mom."
When she woke up the morning of her wedding, Rayna rubbed her face lightly against Deacon's chest. She smiled as he rolled towards her, letting his hand drift over her cheek. He leaned in to kiss her gently, his lips just brushing against hers. Then she felt his hand slide down over her shoulder, down her back and then rest on her bottom. He moved his head slightly and kissed her on the forehead and she slid her arm under his and around his waist. He pressed her closer to him and she caught her breath.
She laughed softly against his chest. "Wedding morning sex," she purred. "Best. Kind. Ever." He just chuckled and rolled her over on her back.
Deacon
He couldn't help but think back to the first time they got married. Rayna had been pretty as a picture that day. She'd worn that pretty white dress that fell just below her knees. She had flowers in her hair and tears in her eyes. She hadn't been able to stop smiling and neither had he. Everything would be different this time. Except for the love. That had never changed, not in all the years they were married or in all the years since they weren't.
He knew, when he looked in the mirror, that they were both older, with a few wrinkles here and there and a whole lot more experience than they'd had back then, but when he looked at her, he still felt nineteen. She was still that fresh-faced sixteen year old he'd seen onstage at the Bluebird. They'd gone through so much, together and apart, and yet here they still were, as connected as ever. Despite five trips to rehab, a divorce, a baby born while she was married to another, one spouse and one almost-spouse, countless women to help ease the pain of living without her, and they were back where they started.
There was a knock on the door and, when he turned, Scarlett popped her head in. He smiled. "Hey there, girl," he said.
She scampered over and gave him a hug, then reached up to straighten his tie. "You look very handsome," she said, with a big smile.
He chuckled. "Well, ain't nobody gonna be looking at me," he said. "All eyes are gonna be on Rayna."
She raised her eyebrows. "Have you seen her?"
He shook his head. "Not since she left this morning. She came over early, with the girls and Tandy."
"So how does it feel?"
He breathed in. "I never thought we'd do this again. But we are. And it feels good. Feels right."
She smiled. "I'm so happy, for both of you. For all of you, really. The girls too. So, I gotta go. To sing. I'll see you out there." She reached out and rubbed his arm.
He smiled at her. "See you there."
As he watched Rayna walk down the aisle, it felt like everything around her just faded away. He couldn't see anyone else, couldn't hear the music. All he could do was focus on her. She looked so beautiful, even more than she had the first time they'd done this. The emotions welled up inside him as he watched her glide closer. Finally she was standing right there, next to him, and he leaned in to kiss her, just as he had that first time. She reached up and touched his cheek and then took his hand, as they turned to face the minister.
They exchanged rings, talking to each other about being meant for each other, about the music and the friendship, about being best friends, about getting through everything because they were stronger and wiser, and promised – again – that it was forever and for always. Only this time he knew it truly was. They'd finally found their way back to each other and it would be for good this time.
When the ceremony was over, they walked back to the room where Rayna had gotten dressed. She told everyone it was so that she could freshen up, but what they really wanted was just a few minutes by themselves before the party afterwards. He pulled her into the room and she scurried after him, laughing. He shut the door and locked it and she gave him a teasing smile.
"What do you have up your sleeve?" she asked, as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Just wanna kiss my beautiful wife," he said, and he did just that. Then he looked down at her and grinned. "I know better than to mess up your pretty dress."
She laughed again, that throaty, sexy laugh of hers. "You know, I'd consider letting you take advantage of me, but this dress is really not…cooperative in that way."
He winked. "Not like the dress you wore the first time," he said. He smiled to himself as he remembered how they'd locked themselves in one of Watty's bathrooms midway through the reception. He supposed this is where some of the 'older and wiser' part came in. He leaned down and kissed her on her neck, just below her ear. "You look just as gorgeous as you did then," he whispered.
She breathed in and laughed deep in her throat. "And you're just as handsome," she purred. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Have I told you before just how unbelievably sexy you look in a nice dress suit?"
He kissed her again. "Don't get no ideas now," he said, his eyes twinkling happily, and then his lips found hers yet again. Sometimes he felt like he was making up for all the years she wasn't his.
When she finally pulled back, breathless, she looked up at him, a serious look on her face. He frowned slightly. She reached up and put her hand against his cheek. "You never gave up on me," she said, her voice soft. "Sometimes I thought you'd get tired of waiting, that you'd let go."
He breathed in slowly. "I couldn't," he said finally. "I just never could and I had to ask myself why I couldn't."
"Why couldn't you?"
He let a smile play over his face. "Because I love you. That's it. It's easy. I just decided I would wait." He swallowed. "Wait and hope one day…."
She smiled then. "Hope one day I'd figure out I still loved you too?"
He grinned. "Yeah, I guess that's it."
She rubbed her thumb over his cheek and made a face. "I guess we need to go back out there," she said. "Or they're gonna think we, you know."
He gave her one last quick kiss. "You're probably right," he said, then let her go. She hurried over to the mirror and smoothed back her hair as he watched, then turned and grabbed his hand.
"I need to show off my handsome husband," she said, with a laugh, pulling him towards the door.
When they got to the door, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her back. She'd pinned up her hair on one side, so that it all fell over her other shoulder. He pressed his lips against the bare skin of her neck and breathed in. "I never stopped loving you, baby," he whispered.
She rested her hand on the hand he'd laid against her waist. "I know," she whispered back. "You've always been in my heart, you know that."
"I do." He kissed her neck again. "Now, I guess we need to get on with it."
With a joyous laugh, she reached for the door.
Rayna
Are we crazy? Doing this again? What if we end up disappointing each other again? I still remember what it was like, all those years ago, when we did this the first time. And look how that ended up. I mean, we can say it was because we were too young. I know Deacon's drinking made a difference. That destroyed us back then. But that's not between us now. He's been sober more than sixteen years. We've raised up a daughter together. We've done everything except make that commitment to each other again.
I wonder sometimes why I waited so long. Why I let my fear get in the way. When I think of all the time we lost, I feel such enormous sadness. But maybe we needed everything we went through. Maybe we needed other people and other experiences and maybe we needed to just be friends. I tell myself it all happened the way it needed to for us, that we really might have thrown each other away if we'd tried again sooner. All I know is that it feels so much sweeter now, like we both appreciate it, and each other, so much more now, because of everything we went through.
I know I couldn't quite ever let him go. And thank God he couldn't either. I'm so very grateful he waited for me. He's the love of my life, always has been. And yeah, I'm scared. I've been scared for so many years, but I know now I've just gotta jump back into that, take it on. There sure won't be any joy in my life unless I do. I swear, though, after all these years, I've gotta say I feel like I'm sixteen again.
I can't wait to be truly his again, just like he'll be truly mine. We'll have that life we said we wanted, all those years ago. Finally, with each other.
He'd called her 'Mrs. Claybourne', as they had danced their first dance. She had laughed and reminded him she wasn't changing her name, but she knew, from here on out, that in their private moments, he'd call her Mrs. Claybourne again, just like he'd done all those years ago, and it would make her tingle with anticipation, just like it had back then. Behind closed doors, she was totally and completely his and she would revel in being Mrs. Claybourne, if only just between them.
She couldn't take her eyes off him, from the moment she saw him standing next to the minister, waiting for her. Even now, as she chatted up guests and made her rounds, she kept looking for him, keeping him in sight. He would sense her eyes on him and he'd look her way and smile, that smile that was just for her, that told her just how very much he loved her and how much he couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together. Finally, the way it was always meant to be.
She couldn't wait to start their life together again. It would be everything they had both dreamed of.
Tandy
Tandy thought back to Rayna and Deacon's first wedding. She'd felt apprehensive about it, but mainly because her sister was so young. Deacon was certainly a good-looking man, but they were young and barely making ends meet. Rayna told her they were living on love and Tandy figured it couldn't have been much more than that. Her anxiety for her sister grew over time, though, and not because of age or income. As Deacon's drinking got out of control, she had worried about Rayna's ability to cope and handle it. With each failed attempt at rehab, she had worried that her sister was trapped in a swirling dark hole of pain and disappointment, something that would drag her down with him.
Those were the years when her mostly benevolent feelings about Deacon vanished. She'd been grateful and relieved when Rayna had left him, finally, and then divorced him. She'd held her breath after Rayna had come to her in tears, when she'd discovered she was pregnant. And then she'd seen it as her mission to get Rayna married to Teddy and keep her that way.
But the marriage to Teddy was over and, after finding out Deacon had cancer, Rayna had reconciled with him. Tandy, when she really got introspective about it, figured it was probably inevitable. That her sister had never stopped loving Deacon was something she'd long suspected. So it hadn't surprised her, in the end, when Rayna figured out how to get past all her concerns and let him back into her life. Tandy had to admit Rayna seemed happy. Happier than she thought she'd seen her in years.
The girls, however, were a different story. She thought she understood about Daphne. Poor thing had grown up with a happy, uncomplicated life and then everything changed. Damn that Teddy Conrad for disappointing that girl. Cheating on Rayna was bad enough, but now that he had his own new little family, Daphne was feeling left out. And she still had some lingering feelings of being on the outside, with Rayna remarrying Deacon. She'd stayed up late with Daphne the night of the wedding and just listened as her younger niece talked about her worries.
Daphne looked down at her hands. "I know Mom says Deacon's coming into our family, but she was a family with him first, even before Maddie. And Maddie will come first with them."
Tandy put her arm around her niece. "I don't think that's true, sweetheart," she said. "You and your sister are the two people your mom loves most and she would never put you second. You're just as important to her as Maddie."
"But Deacon's who she's been in love with all this time," Daphne said softly.
Tandy frowned. "Who told you that?"
Daphne looked up at her. "I read things. All the stories say they've always loved each other, that Mom never really stopped loving him, because she kept him in her band and he was always there." She sighed. "Do you think she ever loved my dad?"
Tandy felt heartbroken for Daphne. She hugged her close. "Of course she did, sweetie. She really did love him." She smiled down at her. "That's why there's you."
Daphne smiled a little. "It's just hard, you know? All these changes."
Tandy leaned back against the headboard. "Sweetheart, I know a lot has changed. But change is good. It's always good. And I do know that Deacon loves you too. I think he's wanted this family with your mom for a long time and he includes you in that." She'd never, of course, talked to Deacon about that, but she'd seen him with both girls and knew that was true. She took Daphne's hand and squeezed it gently. "Your mom would never let you be on the outside, so don't you worry about that, okay?"
Daphne looked up at her and nodded. Tandy made a mental note to be sure to remind Rayna to pay extra attention to Daphne, at least for a while.
It was Maddie who surprised her. She knew that, ever since Rayna and Teddy had divorced, that Maddie had prodded both Rayna and Deacon about reuniting. It had seemed like it was all she'd ever wanted and, in the beginning, she'd seemed overjoyed. But these days Tandy was sensing an unease about her older niece. She wasn't at all sure it was totally about her parents, but she had seemed oddly less enthusiastic, at least since Tandy had been in town.
She had tried talking to Maddie about it, but Maddie had brushed her off, saying everything was fine. Rayna had chalked it up to teenage hormones. She's like Deacon, Tandy. She gets introspective and she pulls inside herself, kind of like he does. But she's been working with this young woman named Cash on her music and that seems to be where her focus is these days. Tandy still worried a little. She wasn't sure everything was as fine as Rayna thought it was.
The jury was still out for her on Deacon. Yes, he'd done a good job of being a parent. He'd stepped up and done everything Rayna had asked, with respect to Maddie. And she would have been blind not to see that he made her sister happy. Rayna was as clearly in love with Deacon as he was with her. But Tandy couldn't forget all the pain he'd caused her and all the hell he'd put her through. She'd made her peace with it, but she would still keep her eye on Deacon Claybourne.
Deacon
He couldn't believe where he found her. Standing on that stage at Skulls with that short dress on, singing about being some kind of wild card or something. But when that guy started pawing her, he lost control, storming the stage and pushing the guy away. When he got her in his truck, he was shaking, with anger, with fear. What was my little girl doing in that place?
He couldn't believe Cash would bring Maddie to a place like this. He'd thought she was a good mentor for Maddie, not someone who would lead her astray, bringing her to a bar like this one. After he had it out with Cash, he got into the truck, where Maddie was pressed up against the side, shaking and crying. He slammed the door shut and just sat there, rubbing his hands over his face, breathing in and out. He finally turned to her. "What were you doing there?" he asked, trying to stay calm.
She turned to him. "How dare you do that to me!" she cried. "You embarrassed me!"
He raised his eyebrows. "You're damn right I embarrassed you. I meant to embarrass you, same as you did me," he retorted. "What the hell were you doing there? And lying to me about it?"
She turned and looked straight out the windshield. "You don't understand," she said. "You have no idea."
He reached for her arm and turned her towards him. "Seriously? You think I don't understand, Maddie? You think I ain't been there? You think your mama hasn't?" She scowled at him mulishly. He huffed and then dropped her arm. He started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
"Where are we going?" she demanded. He said nothing, just drove towards the river. He pulled into a parking lot and turned off the truck.
"Get out," he said.
She looked at him as though he'd lost his mind. "What?"
He raised his eyebrows. "I said, get out." He leaned slightly towards her and she looked away. But then she opened the door. He did the same, hustling around the back of the truck and meeting up with her. "Let's go," he said. He put his hand lightly on her arm and led her towards the pedestrian bridge. When they got to the first observation deck, he moved her towards it.
She frowned. "Why are we here?"
He leaned against the railing and reached out, turning her to face the city skyline. He put his hands on her arms, rubbing up and down gently. For a few minutes, they were just quiet, and then finally he breathed in. "You got the whole world ahead of you, Maddie," he said. "You don't gotta do it all at once, you know? But I know why you try."
"Why?" she asked, her voice low.
"I watched your mama do it. She wanted it all and she didn't wanna wait for nothing." He swallowed. "She used to do the same thing. You're just like her." He breathed in again and he pulled her against him into an embrace. "I know you want it all right now. And I want everything for you. You're so talented and so beautiful and I only want the best for you, baby." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "I watched you when you was a little girl and you always wanted everything right then. You were always running toward something." He sighed. "Your mama and me, we just wanna protect you. And I know it's hard, 'cause you just wanna go do it all now. But you gotta be careful. And you just gotta to talk to us. Don't shut us out."
She pulled out of his embrace and turned to face him. "Mom doesn't understand," she said defiantly.
"She does understand, Maddie," he said. "She did the same thing." He sighed. "She'll probably be mad at me for telling you this, but she got her first paying gig when she was sixteen. And it caused a lot of trouble for her with her daddy, because he didn't support her. She ended up on her own and she wasn't prepared for that. You ain't either. But the difference is that me and your mama, we do support you. We love you and we want you to follow your dream, same as we did." He started to feel a little emotional and breathed in. "I'm so proud of everything you do, Maddie. From the time you were a teeny tiny girl, I been proud of you. Watching you grow up, seeing what you can do, you amaze me." He smiled a little at her then. "I want you to do everything you wanna do with your life, but it's a different world from when me and your mom started out. There are people who'll take advantage of you and people who will push you into doing things that aren't right. If this was the right thing, Cash woulda never told you to lie to us. You know that."
She turned back to look out towards the city. "Cash thinks I can make it. And she says Mom's gonna hold me back. Not let me do this." She turned back to him, her eyes flashing. "And she already kept me from signing with Sony."
He worked his lip. "Baby girl, she don't want nothing bad to happen to you. And for someone your age, well, it can be tough. People take advantage of you. Your mama was lucky she had people looking out for her. People who knew what she was up against and helped her find her way."
"Cash knows all that," she said, stubbornly, a mulish look on her face.
He shook his head. "No, she don't. Maddie, she ain't never done this. She just wants to live through you. She don't know nothing about you. Not really."
She narrowed her eyes, then crossed her arms over her chest. "You just want to control me. You and Mom both." She rolled her eyes. "I want to go home."
"This ain't over, Maddie," he said. But he didn't want to argue with her, where people could hear, so he just shrugged and headed back to the truck. She followed behind him.
Rayna
Rayna looked out the window of the plane. Rain was streaming down and lightning and thunder were all around. She looked over at Bucky. "I'm guessing we're not getting out anytime soon," she said, with a smirk.
"Doesn't look like it," he concurred. He smiled at her. "It was great to see you out there tonight."
She looked at him wistfully. "I miss performing. I mean, I want to support my artists and make this label a success, but" – she sighed – "I miss it, Buck. It's what I was born to do." She leaned her head back on the seat. "I feel like I've lost sight of myself as an artist and that means I'm not as helpful to my artists."
He looked over at her with a twinkle in his eye. "I know you want to get Layla out there. What if we do a short tour, with her opening for you? Ten dates, let's say. And then we can position her better for a longer tour."
The minute he said it, she felt an excitement build up that went along with how she'd felt being out on stage with Autumn that night. "Can we?" she said, scrunching up her face.
Bucky smiled. "Of course we can. I'll make it happen."
Her phone buzzed and she looked down. Deacon's name and face popped up. She glanced at Bucky and he nodded, understanding she had to take the call. "Hey, babe," she said, a smile on her face.
"We got a problem, Rayna," he said.
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Maddie."
"What about her?"
"She went out with Cash tonight. Said they was going to a coffee shop, but turns out that ain't where they went at all."
She sat up straight then. "Where did they go?"
"Skulls. Down in Printer's Alley."
She raised her eyebrows. "What? Deacon, she's not old enough to go to a place like that."
"Well, no, except that she was performing. Me and you both know that can happen."
She sighed, remembering back in her early days when she played at places she wouldn't have been able to go into otherwise. "How did you find out she was there?"
"Daphne. She heard 'em talk about it. They didn't know she was listening." He sighed. "She pretty much thinks me and you don't know nothing and are keeping her from her dreams, as she puts it."
"But she's home now, right?"
"Yeah. Mad as hell, but she's home." He sighed. "Rayna, I don't know what's going on with her. I feel like I don't know her anymore. She don't talk to me like she used to."
She smiled. "She's a teenager, babe. She doesn't talk to me either."
"I thought putting her and Daphne on Highway 65 was gonna be the answer."
"Yeah, I did too. I think we do need to start looking at something for them." She bit her lip. "I'm not sure when we're getting out of here, but we'll talk about it when I get home, okay?"
"Sounds good. Travel safe. Love you."
She smiled. "Love you too, babe."
She closed her eyes as she leaned back against her seat. She knew a lot of Maddie's acting out had to do with her being a teenager, but it surely seemed to have ramped up since the Juliette episode and then finding out that Sony wanted to sign her. She sighed. It wasn't like she didn't remember the fights she had with her father back when she'd wanted to start her career. She knew, though, that had Lamar just been supportive and not kicked her out of the house, she might not have taken the path she had. She understood Maddie's dreams, but she really wanted to be able to give her a supportive path, instead of her having to navigate all that on her own.
She hoped they got out of Dallas soon.
Cash
The truth was, Cash actually believed in Maddie's talent. She had her mother's voice and her father's insane musical talent. But she also believed it was being wasted, as Deacon and Rayna forced her to collaborate with her sister and write bubblegum nonsense. Cash dug for Maddie's insecurities and her feelings of being trapped and unable to explore her own musical tastes. She helped Maddie put lyrics and music to everything bubbling under the surface, including her sexual side.
Maddie had found out about the Sony offer quite by accident. Cash looked into it and found out that not only had Sony made an offer, but Edgehill Republic had as well, before its demise, something Maddie had not been aware of. The Highway 65 deal was insignificant and just another way for Rayna to control her daughter, keeping her from doing what she loved. Cash used all of that to her advantage, couching all her information as just looking out for Maddie's best interests. And she stealthily stoked the fires of how volatile living with an alcoholic could be, even when they were sober.
It wasn't hard at all to get Maddie stirred up about the squelched contracts and the control Rayna had over her prospects. She added some recollections about how unpredictable alcoholics could be and played on Maddie's anger after Deacon had pulled her out of Skulls. She was an easy mark and, although she still played it as being the one person in Maddie's corner, it had been surprisingly easy to get the younger girl to talk to a lawyer about emancipation.
"It's the only way you can have the career you want, Maddie, without interference from your parents. I mean, you're the one who's said they're holding you back. If you really want that career, and to be the next Taylor Swift, maybe you should consider it," Cash said, after the lawyer left. Maddie had seemed unsure, at first, when it was all laid out.
"Do you really think it's the only way? I do have that Highway 65 contract," Maddie said, looking uncertain.
"But that's with your sister, doing the kind of music you were doing with her." Cash took Maddie's hands and smiled encouragingly. "You know you can do better than that. The new music you've done is fantastic and just what the labels want. I've actually let some other labels take a listen and they are all interested in you, Maddie."
Maddie's face lit up. "Really?"
Cash nodded. "Really." She bit her lip. "And I'll be right there with you, every step of the way."
Maddie only hesitated for a second and then said, with a big smile on her face, "Let's do it!"
Rayna
Rayna was on edge. After coming home from Dallas to find that Maddie had run away, she and Deacon had zeroed in on Cash as the one who'd led her astray and they'd finally confirmed that was where she'd run to. But they were struggling with getting through to her and, in the midst of their confusion and worry, they were blaming each other and fighting over it. Or, probably more accurately, she was blaming him.
Cash had shoved her phone in Rayna's face, showing her how Deacon had stormed the stage at Skulls and pushed the guy away who'd tried to reach out to Maddie. While she was appalled at Maddie being there, she was also concerned about Deacon's reaction to it. All she could think about were the parallels to her own life.
"Why'd you have to blow up on her like that last night?" she shouted at him.
He raised his eyebrows. "You have no idea what it was like in there, Rayna!" he shouted back. "That song she was singing, the clothes she was wearing? And then what, I'm just supposed to just politely ask that guy groping her leg to stop?" He leaned in towards her. "What was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know! But I do remember what it's like to have a fight with your father and end up leaving home forever. And I don't want that for Maddie. That's a pattern I do not want to see repeated!"
All the anger seemed to flow out of him in that instant and then she felt terrible that she'd compared him to her own father. Deacon was not like Lamar Wyatt, not even close, which was why all of this made so little sense to her. "I don't either," he said then, sitting down on the couch and putting his head in his hands.
She breathed in deeply. What she'd seen on the video had taken her back, brought back memories of Deacon punching out someone who had tried to feel her up or who had made some kind of lewd comment. Some things don't change. But she'd known, for years, that Deacon sober was still Deacon. He was still impulsive, still wore his heart and emotions on his sleeve, still could be volatile. It was one thing for her to deal with that. She worried about what it meant for their family. Worried that Maddie would push away from them because of it.
She needed a minute, so she turned and walked out.
They went together to try to talk to her, at Cash's house. It broke Rayna's heart to see how angry their daughter was, how coldly she looked at them. But when she told them she intended to emancipate from them, she never remembered feeling as devastated as she did at that moment. Her head was spinning and she thought her legs would give out underneath her. She grabbed for the handrail and leaned against the porch column. She could barely breathe and it felt like her heart was being crushed inside her chest. She heard an anguished keening that she realized was her own. Just before she collapsed, Deacon put his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest, clinging to him desperately, letting loose with heartrending sobs.
After a moment, she knew he was crying too. She could feel his body shaking and hear his own sobs. You're not a good influence. You're trying to keep me from my career. Maddie's words echoed in her head and that was when she realized they'd been directed at her. It was also when she acknowledged to herself that it wasn't all on Deacon, that Maddie's anger was directed at them both. She clung to him more tenaciously then, knowing they would have to work together to bring their girl home.
It felt like all she was doing was wringing her hands. She and Deacon paced the floors for what seemed like hours. They couldn't get near Maddie to talk to her. She wouldn't take their calls or respond to their texts. She wasn't even responding to Daphne.
"What do you wanna do?" Deacon asked, finally, running his hands over his head in frustration.
She shook her head, feeling worn down. "I'm not even sure anymore." She looked at him and saw the pain and resignation in his eyes, sure he could see the same in her own. She sighed deeply. "Maybe I should just go and wait, outside Cash's house. She has to come out sometime, right? Maybe I could catch her alone."
He shrugged. "It couldn't hurt," he said. "You want me to go with you?"
"I think that might feel like we're ganging up on her." She rubbed her face. "I need you to pick up Daphne from dance class anyway."
He nodded. "Be careful though. They say it's supposed to snow."
She breathed in, her emotions welling up. She walked over to him and put her arms around his waist. When he wrapped her up in his own arms, she felt safe and comforted, at least for a moment. She pulled back and looked up at him. "Okay, I'm going to go see if I can reach out to her."
He kissed her. "Good luck. Call me." She nodded and then went to get her coat.
She sat in the car for two hours. The sky got dark and then it started to snow. She was almost ready to go back home when she saw a car pull up in front of Cash's house. She sat up and peered out the window. When she saw Maddie get out of the passenger side of the car, she got out and started running towards her. "Maddie!" she called out and Maddie turned around. "Maddie, please just talk to me!"
Maddie looked at her, the snow falling all around them. "Why didn't you tell me? About Edgehill? About Sony? Why did you turn them down without even telling me?"
Rayna grabbed her hands. "Because it's my job as your mother to protect you from things that are gonna break your heart."
Maddie pulled away. "Like what? That labels wanted to sign me? That other people thought I had real talent? You kept all that from me."
Rayna nodded. "Maddie, it's not like that…."
Maddie interrupted her. "Only after these other label offers, you signed me to this fake deal, only so you could control me."
Rayna shook her head. "That's not true at all. This deal is absolutely real for you. Just as my belief in you as an artist is. Honey, I wanna support you and I wanna build you, and I don't want you to be exploited. You know that's true, you have to believe that's true."
Maddie looked away, then back. "I honestly don't know what to believe anymore."
Rayna struggled to make sure she said the words that would speak to Maddie's heart. "Well, believe in us, believe in your family. We've always been able to get through everything together. Your father and I really do want to help you." She put her hands on Maddie's arms. "Maddie, I promise we'll talk about these things going forward. But you have to know I would absolutely support something that was in your best interests. Always. So, please, think about this before you do anything."
She could see the tears in Maddie's eyes and heard the emotion in her voice. She hoped she was getting through. "Everything's already in motion," Maddie said.
Rayna shook her head. "Says who? Says Cash? Says the lawyer? Honey, listen to your heart. Is this what you want?"
Maddie breathed in. "I just need to think."
"Then think. But don't let some court decide what your life's going to be."
Maddie pulled back and put her head down and Rayna could hear her start to cry. She turned back. "I have to go inside."
Rayna begged her with her eyes. "Please come home, sweetheart." But Maddie turned away and walked quickly back to Cash's house, leaving her standing there, tears rolling down her face, as the snow continued to fall, wondering if she'd lost her daughter forever.
She stood and watched until Maddie was inside Cash's house and then she turned and went back to her car. When she was sitting in her car, with the heat running, she put her head down on the steering wheel and wept. Finally she called Deacon.
"Hey, baby," he said when he answered, sounding anxious.
"She wouldn't come, Deacon," she said, starting to cry again.
"Tell me what happened," he said.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I thought I was getting through to her for a minute, but then she still walked away." She broke down in tears again. "I think we've lost her, Deacon."
He was silent on the other end of the phone and then she heard him sniffing. "Come home, baby," he said softly. "We'll figure it out." She didn't want to leave, but there didn't seem to be a point in sitting out on the street, so she headed for home.
Deacon
Deacon was sitting in his truck, down the street from Cash's house, but within sight distance. He hated that he and Rayna were having to resort to sitting in cars waiting to talk to her, but Cash had kept her locked down. He saw her leave the house, by herself, and he jumped out of his truck, running towards her. She stopped when she saw him. "What are you doing here?" she asked, frowning at him.
He stopped, three feet away from her. He felt a squeezing in his gut and a lump in his throat. "I just wanna talk to you, sweet girl," he said.
"I don't think it's a good idea." She turned the other way.
"Maddie, please." He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn't care. She stopped but she didn't turn around. "Baby, I fought for you your whole life. I ain't gonna stop now."
She turned around. "What does that even mean?"
He breathed in. "I was in rehab when your mom found out she was pregnant." Maddie's eyes widened. "I worked hard to be the kind of daddy you deserved. I fought to be in your life. And not because your mama didn't want me to, but because she seen me at my worst and she only wanted the best for you." He sensed that he had her attention. "All she ever wanted, all we ever wanted, was to keep you safe. Protect you. Hold you close." He smiled a little. "Maybe we held you too close. But it's only 'cause we love you so much." He stepped a little closer. "Baby, we want everything for you. Everything. We believe in you, please know that. You know your mama was on her own when she was your age. But it wasn't because she wanted to be. It was hard and people tried to take advantage of her."
"But she had you. And I have Cash." Maddie looked mulish again.
"You have us, your mama and me. And we love you." He took a deep breath. "We're your family, Maddie, and we'll never leave you. You don't know that about Cash." He walked up to her then and took her hand. He was encouraged that she didn't pull it away. "Me and your mom, we both been through this. We talked about it when you were still a little girl, how we wanted to help you follow your dreams, just like we did. But we had nobody but each other. You'd have us, always in your corner. We just don't want nothing bad to happen to you. And I know you think we're too strict, or something, but you're us, baby." He let out a short laugh. "You're our girl and nobody will ever love you or want the best for you like we will."
He could see tears in her eyes, but then she shook her head slightly, sliding her hand from his. "I don't know."
He worked his lip and pressed his hands together. "Sweetheart, please," he said softly. "Don't do this. Please. Give us a chance to work it out."
"I don't know," she whispered again and then she turned and hurried away from him.
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked up to the sky, fighting back tears. He felt like they'd lost her, without even getting a fair chance to fight for her. How did we get to this place? He looked back across the street at Cash's house and he worried Rayna was right and that they'd lost her for good.
Maddie
She wasn't sure exactly what it was that changed her mind. It might have been that last meeting with the lawyer, the one where she talked to Maddie about bringing up all the things her father had done back when he was still an alcoholic. Or maybe it was when the lawyer talked to her about whether she was afraid to live with an alcoholic, even if he was recovering, and Cash told her it was okay to have her doubts. Except that wasn't the father she'd grown up with, the father who'd loved her her whole life. The father she'd loved and looked up to.
It might have been when she thought back on growing up as Rayna Jaymes' daughter. How Rayna was always there when she needed her most. How she'd learned, over time, all the things her mom had done to take care of her, and how she'd made sure her father was in her life. Maybe it was that both her parents sought her out and told her how much they loved her and wanted to support her.
It might have been the idea of leaving Daphne behind. And then there was Juliette, who'd done the same thing, and told her she didn't have to do it, that her situation was different because she had parents who loved her. As she lay in bed in Cash's guest room that night, she couldn't sleep. She kept tossing and turning, not knowing what to do or who to believe. The lawyer had told her they would serve her parents with the court documents the next day.
When she thought about that, she wondered how it had all gotten to that place. How had it gone from wanting to explore her music to wanting to divorce her parents? When had Cash gotten in her head with that idea? She had a huge knot in her stomach.
Suddenly she could barely breathe. Her chest felt tight and her mouth felt as dry as the desert. She sat up in the bed, trying to breathe, feeling her heart racing. She closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down, until she was finally able to take in a deep, gasping breath. She breathed out slowly, feeling her heart slow down. She finally got up and got dressed. She put all her clothes in her overnight bag and crept quietly down the hall and out the front door. She walked down to the street and then headed for the corner.
Suddenly none of this had felt right to her anymore. She wanted a career, a recording contract and all that went along with that. She wanted to be on stage, performing her music. She wanted to make her own choices. But, after listening to everything Cash and the lawyer said, she wasn't sure she wanted to be completely on her own. She kind of liked having her parents to talk to, being able to spend time with Daphne. She admitted to herself that she was angrier at her mom than her dad, but all the things Cash was saying about them just didn't ring true. It really wasn't what she wanted.
It was snowing again, lightly, and she stood there as the flakes fell on her face and hair and coat. She closed her eyes, thinking about the time, when she was about eight, when she and her dad had built a snowman in his front yard. She smiled a little as she remembered laughing with him and how he ran into the house to get a carrot to use for a nose. And then there was the time she and Daphne made snow cream with her mom, after they'd all thrown snowballs at each other. She felt tears in her eyes then and she breathed in, a deep, gulping breath. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. She scrolled down and hit the call button.
"Maddie?"
She nodded as the tears rolled down her face. "Dad, will you come get me?" she said.
"I'll be right there."
She put her phone back in her pocket and then went to stand next to a tree, leaning against it, and waited.