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Chapter 25- "Baby making."

"ARSONISTS STRIKE AGAIN!" "ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER BURNING BUILDING." Read the day's headlines. Lois paid the vendor and picked up her newspapers. She rolled up the newspapers she'd just bought and placed them under her arm as she hailed a cab. Once home she set down her folders and brief case and slipped off her very expensive high heeled shoes. She poured herself a drink then dialled her favourite Indian take away. Tonight, she ordered the usual. Lois wasn't much of a cook, even less so now that it was just her.

Lois gathered her paper work and settled down. She had a lot to get through. She had applied for a police check, which wouldn't take too long to go through, but now she had to apply for adoption and anticipate a series of interviews and rigorous checks from social services-which would undoubtedly take a while, so in the meantime Lois was applying for residency permit, the type that would make her Durga's foster parent in the interim, until Durga was officially Durga Lane. Lois smiled to herself. The thought made her heart melt...the possibility was within reach. After so much darkness lay a flicker of light...

The sound of the doorbell knocked Lois out of her trance.

Lois grabbed her purse, expecting to see the delivery boy. Instead, much to her surprise stood Clark.

"What are you doing here, Clark?"

"Can I come in?"

Lois looked puzzled but stepped to the side anyway. Clark entered the apartment almost wearily, hunched over and dragging his feet.

Clark didn't sit down. Instead he stood in the middle of the living room and looked at Lois intently, before saying, "Chloe tells me that you're thinking of adopting Durga."

Lois shook her head; she could not believe that Chloe would spread her private matters around "It really wasn't Chloe's place to tell you."

"Well, you didn't tell me." Clark said, almost accusatorily.

"Well, I didn't think it was any of your business." Lois shot back, her voice raising half an octave.

Clark clenched his teeth. A minute passed, the air now thick with tension. Clark cleared his throat. "Do you really think this is the right time to be considering adoption?"

"Yes."Lois rolled her eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that maybe you haven't thought this through..."Clark stood firm "You've been through a lot recently and, let's be honest, not all your decisions have been.."

Lois began to get defensive "Have been, what!?" She put her hands on her hips, preparing for battle.

"Rational." Clark said with shocking finality.

Lois gasped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. The audacity of the man standing in her home, telling her that she wasn't capable of reasonable thought. Who did he think he was? She was a grown adult, and sure she had made some mistakes in the past, ones that she regretted, ones that she was still paying for but Lois Lane was without an iota of doubt,positively certain that she had enough love and sufficient resources to raise a child. The fact that Clark seemed to question her abilities reached down and touched the small dank place within her soul where all her hidden fear and doubts resided. It hurt.

Clark was unyielding in his diatribe"Lois, Don't use Durga to fill the hole our baby left."

"IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I'M DOING!?"

Clark nodded. "Yes. I still think you have unresolved issues and to drag an innocent baby into them would be unfair."

"Thank You .."Lois could feel tears that she'd long tried to suppress working their way up to her emotional surface. She didn't want to crumble, she didn't want Clark to be right, so she did the only thing she knew how to do-she attacked "...The only unresolved issue I have here is YOU!"Lois stepped a little closer to Clark " Stay out of my business, stay out of my Life!"

Clark didn't know what hurt him more, Lois's blind indifference and denial to his theory of replacement or the fact that she was starting a family, their family...No, he reprimanded himself. HER family- without him. "How would you do it?"

"I'd be a single mother Clark. Women do it all the time." Lois turned her back on Clark and sat down on her sofa. She could feel a migraine coming on.

Clark stood strong "But it's not ideal."

"Well, it's the only option that I've got." Lois spat."It's Alright for you! You and Diana can go and make as many babies as you want."

"What?" Clark asked incredulously. His mind hummed, where had that come from?

Lois paused and bit her lip. She hadn't intended to say that, "Clark, I'm 35 years old. It may never happen for me. There is a beautiful baby girl who is in danger of being thrown on the scrap heap..."

"...No..." Clark interrupted ".... Rewind to the part about me and Diana making babies."

"I always say what I mean. You heard correct."Lois looked at Clark, so much pain passed between them that it held them incapacitated. Lois gaged from the look in his eyes that he didn't know what she was talking about, so she continued "I guess the Doc hasn't told you. You can have kids, biological kids as long as they're with someone who is strong enough to have them..."Lois voice trailed off.

Clark stayed silent because what he really wanted to say was 'I don't want a baby if it isn't with you.' But somehow he couldn't make the words.

Silence fell upon them. Both Clark and Lois wondered how they had gotten here...to the point of no return: the barrage of Angry looks, mean words, unsaid sentiments and enough hurt to fill a gully.

The door bell rang. Lois jumped up, happy for the distraction. She brushed past Clark and opened the door. She paid and tipped the delivery boy then closed the door. She hesitated before turning around, she knew Clark would be watching her and unlike all the years they'd been married, she wouldn't be able to read his mind. A tear began to roll down her cheek, she was drained..

"Lois.." Clark said in a softer tone. He stepped forward and gently wiped her tear.

Lois tried to brush him off "I'm done talking. My Chicken Tikka masala is getting cold."She barged passed him. Take away parcel in her hand and straight into the kitchen. Clark heard her rattle around for plates and cutlery. He wasn't certain that she'd ever reappear, so he went and stood in the arch of the kitchen doorway.

"Be happy for me Clark."Lois said, almost imploringly.

"I want to be."Clark's voice broke.

"Don't you see, you can get the family you've always dreamed of and I can get mine."

Clark was wounded. Just like that he had been brought back down to earth. Lois was his soon to be ex-wife. Any day now their legal tie would be severed, too bad his heart still hadn't gotten the memo. Clark turned to leave Lois's apartment.

"I saw you..."Lois couldn't help but shout out. The words stopped Clark in his tracks "Last Sunday I saw you and her.." Clark didn't need to ask for specifics, he knew exactly what Lois was referring to.

"You look good together. You and her make sense, you always did." Lois took a sip of what appeared to be juice.

"Don't..." Clark turned around, fear and apology in his eyes.

"I hope you have a wonderful life together." Lois interjected.

"Stop it!" Clark yelled "It's not..."

"Just go Clark, Go home to Diana." Lois took a bite of her food. She continued to eat as if he wasn't there. When he finally turned around to leave it was a relief. Because then she wouldn't have to get angry and scream ,she wouldn't have to cry, she wouldn't have to let him know that seeing him with Diana Prince had broken her heart in a way that she wasn't sure was fixable.

Lois let the sound of her beating heart reverberate in her ears as she waited for the bang indicating that Clark had opened and closed her front door and finally vacated her apartment.

Lois had lost her appetite. She pushed her plate away with one shaky hand and bent down to steady herself. It was then that Lois Lane was hit with nausea-she quickly raced to the bathroom where she was violently, spectacularly sick all over her tiled floor.

TBC.