A/N: sry for the late update again.

For the person that asked by "scarred" I mean like a scar u get from a cut or a burn. Sry for that confusion. anyway i finished one of the book and am halfway throug the second but i have yet to start the writting.....anyway

Chapter 25

Fear is How I Fall

February 21

That's it. The guilt has caught up to me. I can't believe how dense I can be sometimes.

But as much as I hate to admit it, he's right. He is completely and total one hundred percent right. I am afraid. Afraid that I will lose control with him, afraid that my reputation will be scarred if anyone found out. Which is why no one is going to find out. Well no one besides Ginny that is…and everyone else that knows. Wait theres no point in that right? People already know. Well…they won't find out about the second time. That's right. They won't. Oh my. I must be losing it now, I'm actually talking…well writing…to myself.

Still I know this is going to seem weird and farfetched…but I think Malfoy might actually be returning some feelings for me after all and if not then he's just playing mind games. Ah. That's it I have to stop asking myself the same questions entry after entry. And I also need to talk to him…soon maybe tomorrow perhaps I don't know but I need to talk to him.

Ok now this is really it, I need to get some sleep.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly.

"Oh, Patil it's you." Pansy said sitting up straight in her bed, "Do you have them?"

Padma entered Pansy's room and shut the door behind her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope.

"Right here." She said as she walked toward Pansy's bed. She paused at the foot of it and tossed the envelope into it. "They came in the post this morning."

"Finally. Took them long enough." Pansy said taking the envelope in her hands and running her glued on nails across the envelope slicing it open. She reached in and pulled a handful of photos. A grin appeared across her face as she flipped through them. "Excellent. I didn't think you would be able to pull it off. How did you do it?"

"I just charmed my camera to snap automatically and placed it on the top shelve when neither of them were watching."

"Smart. Very smart. Why weren't you put in Slytherin Patil? You definitely have the personality for it."

"Well the sorting hat did consider putting me in Slytherin but it decided Ravenclaw would be best suited-"

"Yeah ok, you can leave now." Pansy said.

Padma narrowed her eyes, when it became clear that Pansy didn't really want and answer. "Aren't you going to pay me back for developing the pictures?"

"No." Pansy said dismissively. "Leave."

"But-"

"I said leave." Pansy said setting down the photos on her bed as she stared at Padma. "You've done your part. I'll do the rest." Padma opened her mouth to object but Pansy interrupted her. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it Patil. It all starts soon enough. I'll make sure Granger gets what she deserves."

"Shit Pansy, at least let me help with something, I'm in this to."

Pansy rolled her eyes and watched Padma with boredom and annoyance layering her face. "Fine then. You can help next Monday, when I plan to get this all on the way."

"Great."

"All right then."

Padma smiled and stood rooted in her spot.

Pansy stared at her. "Leave."

"Oh, right." Padma said embarrassedly before scattering out of the room.

"Will you hurry up Ron! We're gonna be late!"

"Oh Hermione, don't be so dramatic ." Ron yelled to Hermione who was jogging in front of her.

She paused and turned to face him. He was walking calmly to her. "Ron!" she yelled back at him, "We are going to be late!"

"Don't be ridiculous Hermione, we are not going to be late."

The bell rang in the distance.

"Oops." Ron said grinning sheepishly as they approached the class.

"All right everyone, get on started, no fooling round now- oh there you are Hermione….Ron."

"Sorry we're late Hagrid, Ronald over here-"

"Hey now, don't go blaming it on me-"

"Oh be quiet. Sorry Hagrid. What did we miss?" Hermione asked.

"Today we have a easy day. We just working with them salamanders again. The rest of the class is already teamed up in partners. You two can work together. Nothing new today." Hagrid replied. He gave them a brief smile before walking off to attend to the students.

"See Hermione, it's ok you didn't have to go on rushing me."

Hermione sighed, "Ron honestly, sometimes I worry about you."

He grinned.

The two off them walked to the center of the classroom where salamanders were being handed out. They grabbed two off them and walked over to an empty spot on the floor. Hermione set down her bag next to Ron and looked around. She noticed that Harry was paired with Lavender. He was smiling and talking animatedly towards her, Lavender on the other hand was smiling politely. Hermione grimaced. She didn't want to think about what Ron would do to Harry for that at the moment. Her attention was quickly shifted to study the rest of the class. Her gaze landed on a particular Slytherin boy who was paired with whom other than the pug Pansy.

As though he knew someone was watching him, Draco turned and caught Hermione's eye. They held each other's gaze for several moments. He winked at her and she blushed.

He smirked and Hermione felt her heart do several flip flops. She found that she had grown to like that smirk of his.

That's it. She said to herself. I'm going to talk to him today and see how he really feels about me.

"Draco." Pansy cooed a second later.

Hermione broke her gaze and look up once again and saw that Draco had turned away and was no facing Pansy. Hermione's eyes narrowed as she watched Pansy place her hand on his knee.

Stupid girl. She thought.

At that moment, like she was able to hear her thoughts, Pansy looked up at Hermione and smiled. Not just a regular smile either. It was the same smile Hermione had seen her give Padma the day of the fight and something told her that something was not right.

The bell rang signaling the end of class and Hermione and Ron made there way back to the castle for lunch.

The moment she stepped into the castle threshold, she knew something was up. It was as though she had just walked through a ghost. A sudden cold chill ran through her blood.

The main entrance was in its usual commotion, but something was different. As she looked around she saw flocks of students watching her…whispering…pointing…all at her. A sudden movement from behind her, made her turn around. She caught a glimpse of platinum blond hair before Lavender appearing huffing in front of her.

"Hermione there you are!"

"Lavender…what…" Hermione asked the panting Lavender who was now leaning on Ron, catching her breath.

"Come here." Lavender said as she grabbed Hermione's hand in one hand and Ron's in the other. She pulled the two into a separate corridor away from the mess.

"Hermione!"

Hermione turned around the corner to see Ginny running to her.

"There you are." Ginny said reaching the three of them.

"Gin, Lavender what's going on?" Hermione asked.

"You mean you don't know?" Ginny asked.

"Know what?" Hermione asked crossing her arms in front of her chest and watching the two girls expectantly.

"Yeah, know what? What's with you two?" Ron asked.

"Hermione…" Lavender started, but looked at the floor before looking back up at her.

"What? You two are making me nervous." Hermione said.

"Same here." Said Ron.

Ginny stepped forward and grabbed Hermione's hands. "Hermione…"

Hermione watched Ginny expectantly.

Ginny started again, "You see…" she stepped closer to Hermione "Pansy has been saying things…"

Lavender and Ron walked closer to the two so that they created a small huddle.

"What kind of things?" Hermione asked, her heart speeding.

"Hermione…she told people about you sleeping with Malfoy." She whispered so that only the four of them could hear.

"Oh my god! You slept with Malfoy!" Lavender whispered loudly.

"Hermione…" Ron started but drifted off. Hermione looked up at him and saw a look of disappointment on his face.

"And that's not all." Ginny said.

Hermione closed her eyes and looked over at her. "What else Gin. What else could she possibly have said…"

"Well…she's been saying that you paid him to sleep with you…not only that but that you used him to help get back at Harry…and that you're in love with him…and that he feels the same way about you…"

Hermione felt her heart flutter at those words, but quickly snapped back to reality as she examined the rest.

"Is it true Mione?" Ron asked.

Hermione didn't answer. "How could she..why…"

"Let face it Hermione, Pansy's pissed." Ginny said.

"At what?!" Hermione asked, her anger getting the best of her.

"Look Mione…it's common knowledge that Pansy is obsessed with Malfoy…and I'm guessing that she's mad he dumped her." Lavender explained.

"Look Hermione…from what I see…Pansy is trying to destroy both of you."

Hermione looked around and saw a big group of students walk by. They pointed and laughed at her. Hermione looked at Ginny, Lavender, and Ron with her gaze stopping on Ron.

"I'm sorry Ron…I'm so sorry."

"Hermione…it's all right." Ron said giving her a hug. Though tighter than he normally would and Hermione could tell he was mad. "I'm not going to lie to you and say that I'm not disappointed and upset…but I don't want to see you like this…"

"Look Hermione…" Ginny interrupted. "We have to get to lunch."

"Yeah you're right." Hermione said.

"Are you going to be ok?" Lavender asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, I'm not going to let this get to me." Hermione said.

"Good." Ron said as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

They four of them walked into the Great Hall a few minutes later. Upon her appearance, a sudden silence covered the hall. She stepped in the Great Hall, Ginny at her side, and the whispering erupted. Hermione stared at her empty seat on the table the whole time as she walked to it. She sat down, Ginny next to her and Ron and Lavender sitting across from them. She let out a breath she hadn't noticed she was holding and piled food onto her plate.

Yet as much as she tried to ignore the whispering remarks, she couldn't. It was like a plague that refused to leave her alone. She caught pieces of what others were saying.

"Can you believe her."

"This is imposturous. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin."

"Traitor."

Looking up at the staff table, she saw that the head of houses and teachers were sitting eating there food, paying no attention to the commotion the students were making. Hermione sighed and glanced at the Slytherin table only to notice that Malfoy was no where in site. Pansy however, was watching Hermione like a hawk, the same evil smile plastered on her face. She looked at her plate and attempted to concentrate on her food. Yet found that she couldn't. Their words buzzed around her ears like flies.

"Did you hear about her?"

"Yeah, Hermione Granger, top student she is, but sleeps with a Slytherin."

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to imagine she was anywhere but there. But she soon found that as the insults continued, attempting to be anywhere but there, was not an option. She opened her eyes, but found that a second later she was drenched in a stick substance. A small scream escaped her lips, and the whispering and muttering subsided as people stood up and craned their heads to get a glimpse of Hermione, who was now covered in pumpkin juice.

"Oh Hermione! I'm so sorry!" a sugary sweetened voice exclaimed from behind her.

Hermione turned around slowly in her seat to see Padma standing behind her two empty goblets in her hand. She stood up slowly from her seat and allowed the pumpkin juice to steadily drip down onto the floor. Taking a deep breath, she slowly lifted her head to face Padma who was watching her with an expression a five year old would give their mothers when telling them it had been the cat that had caused the vase to break.

"You bitch." Hermione whispered so that only Padma could hear.

"Now, Hermione!" Padma said in a mock voice "Language is not necessary, it was an accident." Padma smiled and glanced over her shoulder quickly and caught Pansy's eyes and winked.

This action did not go unnoticed by Hermione. Hermione's eyes traced Pansy's every movement as she rose from her seat and exited the Great Hall. She turned her attention back to Padma.

"That's a lie."

"No it wasn't." Padma said her voice rising in volume. The whole student population was paying attention now. Eagar for more information to keep the gossip wheel turning.

"Right and I suppose monkeys are going to fly out of my ass." Hermione muttered.

"Then they're flying high. Honestly I was just bringing Harry here a goblet of pumpkin juice that he asked for so that we could drink it together."

"I didn't ask for any pumpkin juice." Harry objected.

"Hush honey, of course you did." Padma said, giving Harry a small glare.

"Caught in your lie Patil. Besides if Harry wanted some pumpkin juice he could have gotten it himself, after all the jug is right in front of him."

Padma laughed. "Granger, Granger, you're just full of lies aren't you. You enjoy twisting this web of lies don't you Granger? You lied to Harry when you were with him, saying you were happy when you went. You lied to your fellow Gryffindors and went behind their backs and slept with a Slytherin."

The students in the Great Hall broke out into whispers again.

Hermione glared at Padma, and found that she had to use all her strength to not smack Padma out of her socks at that very moment.

Padma smirked and opened her mouth to give the final insult. "Face it Granger, you've taken my sisters spot. You are now the Gryffindor slut…or should I say the school's tramp."

An eerie silence filled the hall and Hermione's eyes narrowed. Hermione felt a small tug on her sleeve. She glance down to see Ron tugging at her, he apparently noticed her reaction and was expecting a fight like the one from before.

"Hermione don't." He muttered. Hermione glanced at Ron and sighed deeply, she never thought she would live to see the day when Ron was the reasonably one in a situation where ultimate humiliation was involved.

She glanced up at Padma, and saw that she was smirking in victory. Hermione closed her eyes momentarily and debated her options. She could either stay here, and beat the crap out of Padma till she lay dead on the floor and risk getting expelled, or what out with what was left of her dignity and hold her morals high and brush this moment aside into the 'this never happened' category part of her brain.

The reasonable side won.

Hermione smiled grimly and reached across the table and grabbed a hold of the pumpkin jug and poured it onto Padma's freshly cleaned shoes. Gasps escaped the gossipers mouths as Hermione left the Hall not glancing back once.

Once outside, Hermione rounded the corner only to come face to face with Pansy who was leaning against the wall a sadistic smile on her face.

"You certainly have more guts than I would have thought Granger." Pansy said as she moved to block Hermione's path entirely.

"Move out of my way Pansy." Hermione said. The juice in her hair was not sticking to her head creating an uncomfortable feeling.

Pansy grinned and reached into her pocket. Hermione watched suspiciously as Pansy pulled out a piece of paper. Upon examining it closer, Hermione noticed that it was a photograph.

"Interesting isn't it Granger." Pansy said smoothly as she turned the photo around and held it in front of Hermione's face. "The wonders of magic photo development these days."

Hermione gasped. Displayed in the photograph was an image of a nearly naked Hermione lying on one of the potions classroom tables, a also nearly naked Draco Malfoy kneeling over her and trailing kisses down her body. Hermione reached forward and snatched the picture out of Pansy's hand.

"Ta ta Granger." Pansy said after the damage was done. "There's more where those come from." She walked past Hermione towards the Great Hall. She paused and turned back to Hermione. "By the way, you take a very good picture."

Hermione screamed. She screamed loudly. And she ran, ran as fast as her feet could carry her. She ran into the prefect's common room and burst into her room. She three herself onto her bed and cried. She cried away all the mixed emotions she had been feeling these past few days.

After lying for hours, she looked up and saw that evening had fallen. Wiping the tears from her eyes she walked to the window and looked outside. The grounds were empty; the rest of the school was at dinner. That is, expect for one student who was standing at the foot of the lake, his hair shimmering in the slowly setting sun. She sighed.

"That's it." She said to herself. "I'm going to talk to him now. I'm going to find things out once and for all."

Draco stood at the edge of the lake, allowing the end of winter chill to clam his body. Out of all the seasons, the winter was his favorite simply because of the beauty and strength it possessed. Much like a certain Gryffindor that wouldn't leave his mind. The winter could be pleasant and nourishing, and yet it could be angry and rip the human flesh of at a moment's notice. He sighed. He knew the rumors that were going around. They didn't bother him really. He had heard worse. But the fact that the whole Slytherin house now though that he had slept with a Gryffindor, well they thought, but he knew it was true but that was beside the point. What mattered was that, most of the Slytherin's were sons and daughters of families who had members that were Death Eaters. And sure enough word would somehow get back to his father. But what really bothered him was the love part. The part that people said she loved him and that he was in love with her. It was ridiculous he knew she could never fall in love with him. There must be something about it in the magic laws. A pureblood and a mudblood could never fall in love. Least a Gryffindor and a Slytherin.

He kicked some sand into the air. He had never been so confused in his life. He heard a soft squish from behind him, but he didn't need to turn around to see who it was. He smelled her sweet perfume from the distance. The smell he had grown so accustomed to and learned to love.

"Granger." He said simply.

She appeared next to him and gazed off into the lake. "You've heard?" she asked.

"Of course. Word travels fast around here Granger."

Hermione ignored the comment. "Can I ask you a question?"

His heart skipped a beat, somehow he knew she was going to ask about the part he was dreading the most.

"Do you?" she asked.

"Do I what?" he asked stupidly, that is stupidly for him.

She turned to face him, her eyes wide. "Love me?" she asked softly.

He turned to face her. "No, of course not." He said, his face expressionless, but his eyes gave him away. Somehow he found she was now able to figure out the way to read his expression, when his face betrayed none. Or maybe it was the way he felt around her, that made his eyes give him away.

"You're lying." She said even softer but with a faint smile appearing on her face.

"No I'm not Granger. Sorry to disappoint you, but those are merely rumors." He paused and looked at her, her eyes were shining. "You don't love me. We both know that, so why on earth would I love you? Think about it Granger, it's impossible."

She stared at him and he stared back. She opened her mouth to speak but found she had no words.

He watched her as her smile disappeared the moment he said those words. His heart rate sped up, and he couldn't believe it.

She glared up at him. "What is your problem?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about Malfoy. What the fuck are you afraid of!" she yelled staring at him. Her deep soulful eyes staring into his.

"Afraid?!"

"Yes Malfoy afraid!"

"I'm not afraid!" he yelled at her.

"Yes you are!"

"Of what!"

"Afraid that someone might actually feel as much about you like you feel about them!" She burst out.

He kicked up a rock that was buried in the snow. It landed on the frozen pound and crashed right through it sending cracks throughout the lake.

"Stop with the damn violence!" she yelled at him.

"I AM NOT AFRAID!"

"THEN PROVE DRACO! KISS ME!"

He stopped and looked at her.

"Kiss me." She repeated stepping closer to him, her eyes wider than ever. Her lips a pale pink from the cold, her hair flying wildly around her face. Her cheeks were tinged a soft pink.

He drew in a deep breath, he had never seen her looking so angelic. She stepped closer to him. He looked down at her and found that he couldn't.

"No." he said.

"What?"

"You heard me Granger." He said firmly. She stared at the floor. Sighing, he walked around her and made his way to the castle.

Hermione lay in her bed that night. Not sleeping, no sleep hadn't overcome her. She got out of bed, but found her legs were too weak to hold her. She collapse and knocked into her book-shelf. A heavy green velvet volume fell into her lap. Taking a good look at it she saw that it was the book she had snatched from 'their room' during the project. She traced her finger along the edge and opened it to the page she had bookmarked. Sighing, she read.

Soon it was later found, that the only way to break the curse placed on the houses of Slytherin and Gryffindor, placed by Ravenclaw is for two members of the opposite houses to learn to work together and fall in love.

She read the line over and over, before closing the book. A cold laugh escaped her lips.

So that's what Dumbledore and McGonagall wanted when he paired us together in the beginning of the year. And the project was a way of getting us to work together. Stupid stupid me. She thought.

"To bad it didn't work old man." She said bitterly. With all her might she threw the book across the room and then threw herself onto her bed and allowed herself to fall in a restless sleep.

A/N: well hope u like!!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! i live for reviews!!!! hehe well only a few chapters left..i know i keep saying that but o well ...yea odd how my mind works hehe more drama to come and then a very..............well intesting ending. haha like im actually gonna spoil the ending here....ok no ones laughing im gonna shut up now.....