"Gran Mag…"
Summary: Utterly for fun…Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble…From certain povs…When Amy's older sister blows…Into town…For Halloween and their engagement party…
Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg…And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton…
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's…
Part XXIV…
"When love comes in…And takes you for a spin…Ooooh…La, la, la…It's…Magnificient…" screeching sound…
Oh, Lord…I put hands to forehead…As several bar patrons stare at Penny's attempt to duplicate Charlotte's rendition of the other night. I reluctantly on piano at her somewhat now inebriated insistence…
"When…Every night…Your…" sob… "…Loved one…" sob…As my and several patrons' heads begin to throb… "Holds ya…Tight…" weeping…
"Penny…I think we're done…" I rise, taking microphone from her hand. Fortunately, unplugged microphone…
"Applause…" I grimly stare out over the half-dozen patrons… "Unless you'd like more, of course?"
Sudden nervous burst of applause…
"You were wonderful…" I pat her hand. "Now, lets just have a seat and watch for the others…"
"Thank you…" Penny, slight, wobbly bow. "Sheldon, I want to die…" she whispers. Letting me lead her from the piano…
"No, you don't. Penny…I may have limited respect for most of your 'abilities'. But I have always admired your persistence. Whether in continuing to mooch food and services from us after breaking up with Leonard. Or continuing to keep some doorway open with him, even in the time of the dark one…"
Priya, I explain to her stare. "And I mean that strictly in regard to her nature…"
"…Right…" wobbly nod… "Thanks…"
I sit her down and she resumes sobbing. On my shoulder, to my dismay…
"I've lost him to your…Neme…whatever…"
"Nemesis…No, you haven't…Charlotte doesn't want him. And you know he doesn't want her."
She raises head to glare at me…
What?
"What does that matter? Oh, Sheldon…He wants her…He had her…And even after I gave it all I had…When I thought maybe…Maybe he'd just been playing with her…And me." she looks round the bar. "He hasn't come…"
"Penny, if I know Leonard Hofstadter…And he's not very complicated a personality…He's in his room right now, trying to make sense of everything. Especially your sudden assault…"
"Are you sayin' I should go up to him?" she regards me.
"Not just right now…" I suggest. "Perhaps after…"
"Another drink? Hey, barkeep!" she waves. "'nother one here!"
"Coffee might be better just now…You having already had five of those…" I suggest.
"Whatsit matter..." she sighs. "I've lost him. And Charlotte don't even want him. And Amy's gonna lose you."
"Say what?" the divine voice of my beloved. Back in freshly laundered costume and on the arm of one Hofstadter, likewise in costume. As a debonair nineteenth century gentleman, complete with cape and top hat…Surprisingly debonair, in fact…
Yes…I did frown at that on his arm thing. Make that annoying debonair…
…
"Time's down to about three minutes, Howard…" Charlotte noted, eyeing the egg-timer hourglass. "And as I see no one on their way to rescue you, poor lamb. I would suggest you agree to cooperate…"
"Howard…The 'f-ing psycho…' is becoming a bit redundant…" sigh at screen… "Now…" she tightened each of the leather straps attached to hands and feet in turn. "When I pull the cushion out…Not only is the strain going to be quite painful…But the burning candles I've placed under you will be very hard to avoid. And as I loosen the straps…Ever so slightly at each question you fail to answer…They will become impossible to avoid. Searing that poor pale flesh of yours… Now why do you want to make a fine doctor like me do that to you?" she glanced at the hourglass.
"One minute, I'd say. Be reasonable, Howard…I've only a few simple questions…"
Knock…He stared…She stared.
"Damn…" hiss… "Excuse me a moment…" she went into the living room of the suite, closing door…
"Hello, Bernadette…" her voice reached him from the other room as he made a desperate effort to struggle loose…While avoiding the candles burning at four points around him. The cushion still under him keeping him more or less safely above their flames…
"No, haven't seen him…" Charlotte's gentle reply to Bernadette's too faint to make out question… "Did you try Sheldon's room? Or perhaps the lounge downstairs?..."
Think engineer…We've had to get out of worse situations…Metal handcuffs then …Self-inflicted…Just to see how it would be done if we ever got the chance. Not to mention my robot arm…
How did we do it last time with the cuffs? Ah, right…The bed can only take so much strain. Apply force at each point…He pulled on each strap.
C'mon…Only a hotel bed…Uhhhnnn…
Nope…Wait…The screen…He started shaking head from side to side. The frame rattling back and forth…
If I can just get it loose. Before Bernie leaves…Get it to crash on the floor…
The frame flopped to the left. But screen remained locked in…Hmmn…
"I'll see you all in a bit…" Charlotte's gentle call. Close of hallway door…
"Howard? Have we been naughty?" she eyed him. And the screen, flopped in its frame to the side…
"Gone and dislodged your eye muscle sensors as well, eh? Well, just let me put them right and we can begin. Time's up, by the way…" gentle smile.
…
"Are you drunk?" Leonard stares at Penny. Not neglecting the opportunity to sweep his cape a bit…
"No…" she frowns. Then beams… "Oh, God, you look so pretty, Leonard…" rising…
"Lost you?" Amy stares at me…Anxiety tensing her face. I put up hands, cautiously…
Not a chance, my wiccan goddess…
"Penny, stop…" Leonard emitting distress call as Penny grabs him…
"Oh, Leonard…I love you so much."
"So…" Amy sits by me… "Have you anything to report?"
"Well, not so…" She grabs at me in turn, kissing…
"Careful…" I gasp. "I'm wearing a 'wire'…"
"Is that a sexual reference I'm unfamiliar with?" she pauses…
"No…Howard…Surveillance thing…" I choke out.
"Oh…" she nods. Hesitating…
"Doesn't mean I want you to stop…" I note.
"Oh, look at them. Lets get married, I mean, re-married, with them, Leonard." Penny, looking over.
"Huh…?" he blinks.
"After you go and tell that French bitch…" hic…"… she'd better back off, if she knows what's good…" hic… "…fer her." hic-hic… "Oh, Lenny…" embrace. "I knew you'd come. Les go upstairs…" she grabs at him.
"I second the motion…" Amy gasps out. "But Charlotte is only a naturalized French bitch…"
"Huh?" Leonard, true to form, repeats.
"Has the party started?" Raj, just reaching us, blinking…