Chapter 25 – We Got This

Thursday, February 6th, 2025 – Six weeks pregnant

Gabi's POV

"Logan, come here," I called her as Troy looked up, "We probably need to talk to her about what is going on this weekend." I said quietly, Troy nodded his head while he looked at me, my morning sickness had found the hours that it lived with and I was able to get things done around those hours. She came running into the kitchen and I smiled while Troy picked her up. "We need to talk about something before everybody comes over,"

"Okay!" Troy put her on the counter as I sat down on a stool and Troy looked at her. "You know Spring Training is coming up," he started softly, Logan nodded, "Mommy and I will be packing!" Troy gave her a sad smile, "Lolo, you and mommy are staying here this year." Logan frowned looking at Troy, "No, I want to go with you."

"You have school Lo, you have to stay here and go to school." She shook her head and I saw the wobble of her chin. "No daddy," she looked over at me and I put my hand on her back. "We will visit daddy a lot while he is gone okay?" she shook her head as tears started to fall down her face, "No, I am going with you," she said and she leaned forward to grab onto Troy. "Logan, you have to go to pre-school everyday. We can talk on the phone every single night."

"No," she buried her head into his shoulder and Troy looked pained as he held her tightly. "We will FaceTime each other and you'll come visit all the time. I promise it will be like you are there all the time." She shook her head as I rubbed her back, "You'll get to hang out with Papi and Grandma Ky along with Grandpa and Grandma." She sniffled and Troy pulled back as he wiped her tears away. "We won't go more than two weeks without seeing each other okay?"

She turned away from Troy and reached out for me. I took her into my arms and Troy gave me a look. I rubbed her back gently as I stood up with her. I heard the door open and I looked up to see my dad walk through the door with my mom. "Hi sweetie, is she okay?"

"We just broke the news that she isn't going to Arizona," I said quietly, "Logi, look, it's papi," she looked up and she reached over for him next. I shook my head at her dramatics. My mom pulled me into a hug and I smiled as she was going to be so happy but I couldn't get over the fear that was deep down. I let go as I went into the kitchen as Troy was rubbing his temples. I went around to wrap my arms around him and he sighed, "What did I do,"

"She is going to be fine," I said as I rubbed the back of his shoulder, "I promise." He breathed and turned around as I laced my hands together with his. "She is just not liking the idea of missing Spring Training and being around all of the boys. I don't really think she understands that she won't see you as much."

"Thanks, that just makes the later better."

"You'll get used to it and so will she," my dad said coming in, he sent a smile my way, "Leaving her was never easy either." Troy fixed his hat and he took in a deep breath. He looked at me and I squeezed his hand tightly, "We're going to be fine,"

My mom came in with Logan and followed with Lucille and Jack. "Hi everybody," we all waved and Troy pulled dinner out of the oven and we stared to grab plates. The smell of chicken and the rice caused my stomach to twist and I knew I wasn't getting through this dinner without telling my parents or Troy's parents. I looked at Logan, "Lolo, you need to check your blood sugar. Will you go upstairs and grab your meter?" she sighed and Troy gave me a curious look and I looked at the food and he nodded.

"All right, we must make this quick before Logan gets back," I said as the four grandparents look at me and Troy put his hands on my shoulder. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" the concerned were echoed and I smiled, "We are hoping in September we are giving you guys another grand child," my mom and Lucille both gasped as they were quick to pull me into a hug. "Our history isn't great and it is very early still but with Troy leaving this weekend we thought it would be better for you guys to know…just in case."

My mom gave me a small smile and glance at me that I knew she was worried and I bit down on my lip, "So that is the joyous news and now you will not question my lack of eating this food because my stomach has not been handling food well."

"Congrats!" Jack burst, I smiled and hugged him as well while Troy beamed with pride. I fucking loved seeing him that way. The way his smile showed that he was happy with everything and I was happy that he was in love with this. Tears filled my eyes as the worries settled in again.

"Mommy," I sucked back my tears and I went over as I helped her check her blood sugar. The plates were moved around and I knew they wanted to ask more questions but we had to wait until later because of Logan. She went running over to the table to her spot as I stood up and my dad was leaning against the counter. I smiled at him as I pulled my hair back from my face and he looked at me. "You okay?" I nodded my head, "Yea, I am good. Just a little nausea,"

"No…are you okay," he said again, I looked over at Troy who was helping Logan cut up her food and looked up at the ceiling and I shrugged, "I'm okay," I answered, he pulled me into a hug as he rubbed my back. "I'm only six weeks along and that's scary enough because we have six weeks to go and then everyday after that is a constant worry. I don't know, I am just worried already and Troy is going to be gone," he hugged me a little bit tighter as I fought off tears.

"Well I will be here for you and you know Troy is going to do anything to be there for you." I nodded as I wiped away tears and we went to the dinner table. I picked at the chicken along with some salad but I didn't eat that much. The family chattered and Logan was withdrawn from the group and I feared that she was already feeling what I felt every time my dad left which made me sad. I looked over at her and I knew the coming weeks were going to be hard but we would be just fine.

Troy looked over at me and I gave him a smile but it was weak. After we were all done eating, Troy took Logan to the living room as he started one of her favorite shows. "Okay, more details," they requested, "Obviously Logan doesn't know," I nodded my head as I tucked my hair behind my ear, "and she won't know until we are clear of the first trimester," I answered, "but I am only six weeks along, I'll be seven on Tuesday but right now I feel good about it."

"Good," Lucille said touching my shoulder, "We just want people to know that I can turn to here in Kansas City while Troy is in Surprise." Troy nodded as he sat next to me, "So far she has battled serious nausea and fatigue," Troy said, "We will need help with Logan and I know you guys are pretty much always willing to watch her or help get her places. We just want to thank you in advance," Lucille and Jack were ecstatic with the news but I could see my parents were more reserved.

They knew what I was feeling. They knew what Troy was feeling and Lucille didn't know that feeling. Jack didn't know that feeling. They were just excited that there was a possibility for another grandchild. They got up, as they had to pick up Luke and then go get him some dinner. They bid good-bye to Logan and it was quiet until the door shut. My mom came and she sat next to me at the table and she squeezed my shoulder.

"You have been to the doctor?" I nodded, "Yea, Dr. Jo feels confident. I go in a week from Monday to get my ultrasound and hear the heartbeat," I bit on my lip because I wanted to add to that and she squeezed my shoulder gently. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, I took a deep breath and I nodded looking over at my mom, "That would be nice. I don't think I want to go alone," she squeezed my hand and Troy looked between us.

"That makes me feel a lot better." Troy said, "I just want you to record it okay?" I nodded my head with a smile and he breathed, "I'm sorry about my parents, they really have no idea why we aren't excited." My dad smiled, "They shouldn't have a reason to not be excited, just like you guys but we do understand and we wish we didn't." we all shared a look and I smiled, "Thanks you guys, I hope I really don't need you."

"We hope so too."

I shared a tight hug with my mom and my dad as they said good-bye to Logan. Troy then got Logan and they went to get ready for bed while I sat down too breathe for a moment. Troy came back down after I heard the shower start and he looked at me, "What's wrong?" I breathed as I looked at him but the tears came first, I didn't want to do this and tell him this. I didn't mean to cry. "I am so scared Logan is already feeling what I felt when my dad left," the words escaped and I had no plan on telling Troy any of this. Telling Troy this meant that he was going to face his biggest fear.

"And that scares me because I don't want her to feel that way. I don't her to ever feel that way and I know you are already not happy with this and I just…" Troy sat in front of me as he just watched me try to figure everything out. "Shh…hey listen," His hands cupped my chin as he held my face, I stopped babbling and I looked at him, "You're right, this is hard for me but Logan is going to be okay. It is not going to be anything like when your dad left. Your dad left and was living in a different city for months and I will be home a lot more than that. She will be coming down to Spring Training more than once. Maybe when real school starts we have to adjust things but we are going to figure it out. I will see her plenty." I knew Troy was trying to reassure himself along with reassuring me.

He wiped my tears away with his thumb, "It is going to be a lot of trial and error for a couple of weeks but Logan will know that it isn't forever. We are going to spend the whole summer together traveling and she will be okay. You will be okay and I feel like you aren't ready for it yet either." I laughed with tears falling out of my eyes as I shook my head. "No, I have horrible flashbacks of our three months apart back in college."

Troy gave an easy smile as he kissed me softly, "We are not spending three months apart. We are spending two weeks apart."

"That's a lot when all I want to do is this," I kissed him and Troy was caught by surprise and he kissed me back. His hands ran over my legs and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Wow, okay, tears, smiles, and sex." I laughed and he touched my cheek, "How about we put Logan to bed first and then we can do that?" I nodded and Troy kissed me gently. "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

Saturday, February 8th, 2025

Troy kissed my temple as I rolled on top of him, I kissed him and he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs locked me against his chest. "You feeling okay?" I nodded as I kissed him a little bit harder and he kissed me back. His hand lying on my lower back, my eyes looked over to the clock, "We have about thirty minutes before I start feeling sick." Troy laughed but I was dead serious. Every morning around eight I was getting sick.

I kissed his jaw and Troy groaned holding on to me, "I am so angry that I am leaving today." I smiled as I stroked his hair and kissed him again. "You are going to miss out." Troy shook his head and he kissed me, I laid my head on his shoulder and he breathed. "It won't be very long." He reminded me.

"My birthday," I answered, I propped myself up and Troy raised an eyebrow, "I'm not going to be away from my husband on my birthday." I whispered as I let my hand draw a pattern on his chest. "Your thirtieth birthday," I rolled my eyes and Troy grinned, "I think we are going to throw you a belated 30th because it will be so unfair because you got me wasted, so only it will only be fair in return." I rolled my eyes kissing him again. "Whatever makes you happy,"

"I didn't know you were coming down for your birthday though,"

"I know, I am leaving Logan behind for that trip because I don't feel like be very nice." Troy laughed and he pulled me into another kiss, "You are beautiful," he whispered, I smiled and I rolled onto my back as Troy lay his hand on my stomach. "How are you doing?" he asked, "Good, I think this is good Troy." He looked over at me with a small smile and then over at the clock. "I have to get ready to go." I tugged on his hand as he turned around to look at me with a smile; he leaned down for another kiss. I then let him slide out of bed and I pulled the blankets up around me.

"I think after we drop you off at the airport I am going to take Logan to the movies and we will see a movie, then go to my parents house for dinner. She'll like that." Troy nodded his head and I played with the blanket on top of me. "This bed is going to be cold tonight."

"You'll be fine." Troy said while he brushed his teeth, I watched him get ready while he shaved. His back muscles taunted me as he watched himself in the mirror. My eyes caught the scar on his elbow that impacted our last year together. He looked behind him and grabbed the shirt he brought with him and slipped it over his head. He leaned over for the dark wash jeans as he slipped them over his waist and slipped a belt through them.

He moved through the bedroom while he went to his closet to pull out a gray hoodie and slipped it over. He grabbed his gray desert boots and he slipped them onto his feet. I sat up and reached over for his t-shirt that he wore last night. I then curled back up in the bed as Troy crawled back into the bed after he put on a Kansas City hat, backwards…as always. He kissed me and I smiled against his lips. "You smell good."

"Wow, a smell that doesn't send you running to the bathroom." I smiled and wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer to me. "This is not fair, you are in my favorite Charlie Hustle shirt," he started to kiss me again and I couldn't resist the smile and the warmth that spread as he kissed me. "I love you," Troy kissed my cheek as he pulled away, "I love you too. You need to get up as well." I shook my head and Troy smiled, "If you don't want to get up then I can have somebody else take me."

"I don't want you to go either." Troy laughed and ran his fingers over my stomach as he pushed the shirt up and he kissed my stomach. I laughed and Troy smiled, "I love that laugh," he whispered, I smiled and he kissed me again. "Good morning," Logan sang as the door hit the back wall and Troy quickly pulled the shirt back down and he sat up as Logan crawled into the bed. Her hair was a mess and her PJ's were all wrinkled she crawled underneath the blankets.

Troy and I laughed, "Good morning to you as well," I kissed on her and she laughed while Troy tickled her stomach. Troy grabbed her foot and wiggled it. She squealed and I smiled as Troy looked at me. I shrugged and he nodded as he grabbed his phone. Logan and I were not in any mood to get ready and drive to the airport. He sent a text to somebody as Lo pressed her face into my belly. Troy smiled as he took a picture of the two of us, "Troy,"

"This is how I want to remember my girls," he said quietly, I couldn't stop my smile as he looked at Logan. He rubbed his face and I shut my eyes again while playing with Logan's hair. "Did you sleep well last night Logan?" she nodded her head into my belly, Troy sighed, "I'm going to miss you guys,"

"Don't go daddy," Logan got up and crawled to Troy's lap, "I wish I could stay baby girl," she held onto her blanket and laid her head onto Troy's shoulder. "You and mommy are going to have more fun here than I am going to have. I promise." She shook her head and my stomach twisted as I closed my eyes. Maybe I could just keep my eyes closed and then I'll pass the nausea. I heard Logan talk to Troy but the feeling didn't go away as I slipped out of the bed. I stumbled into the bathroom and barely made it before I lost the contents of my stomach.

I felt my hair being pulled back and his hands on my back as I pulled away, "Told you," I breathed, Troy couldn't help but crack a smile as he grabbed a towel and handed it to me. I wiped my face and took a deep breath. "Mommy," I eased back as Logan looked concerned from the door. I stood up on my legs and Troy followed me as Logan came to wrap her arms around my legs. Troy picked her up, "You have to make me a promise," Troy said to her, he took her out of the bathroom and I brushed my teeth while I listened.

"Mommy is going to be sick for a little bit and I need you to take care of her okay," Logan frowned, "Why will mommy be sick? Will she be sad again?"

"No, she is going to be okay Lolo, but she may not feel good sometimes and do you know what you are going to have to do?" Logan shook her head and Troy smiled, "You are going to have to give her extra cuddles and extra kisses from me okay?" Logan smiled and nodded, "Just like she does for you when you don't feel good." Logan nodded as I finished brushing my teeth. I wiped my face off and I crawled back onto the bed as Logan came over to hug me.

"I love you mommy, I hope you feel better." I laughed and hugged her, "I love you too baby girl," she sat down and Troy squeezed my knee. "You girls go back to bed, I am getting ready to leave."

"Hey, are you still going to California?"

"Yea, I am going there for Friday and Saturday," I nodded and Troy smiled as he kissed me softly and then kissed the top of Logan's head. "I love you girls," I smiled as I pulled the blankets back up and Logan grew upset. "No," she pouted, Troy picked her up and hugged her closely. "I'll see you VERY soon," she shook her head and buried her face into Troy's neck. He whispered into her ear and put her onto the bed.

Troy kissed me softly and then my forehead as he placed his hand on my belly, "Call me if you need a single thing Brie," I nodded and he kissed me again, "I love you," he whispered into my ear, I smiled, "I love you too. Call me when you land okay?" he nodded his head and he backed up. "I'll see you girls soon, love you,"

Logan started to cry and go after him but I pulled her backwards as he shut the bedroom door on his way out. He slipped his bag over his shoulder and the door clicked. "No, I want daddy," she cried, I pulled her into my arms and she cried. "I know baby girl, I know but we will see him soon." I kissed the top of her head as I pulled her underneath the blankets with me. I then turned on the TV to her favorite TV show as she calmed down.

We lay there as I played with her hair and she sniffled. Skip curled up at the foot of our bed as she started to finally calm completely down. My phone buzzed and I reached over to see Troy had texted me.

T: Did she calm down? I hated leaving her like that.

G: Took a little bit but she is fine. Watching TV and she is just laying with me.

T: …I hate this leaving you was hard enough but leaving three of you…

I couldn't stop the small smile on my lips to him referencing the pregnancy.

G: We'll be okay. You focus to getting on the field again.

I put my phone down and kissed the top of Logan's head and looked at the TV. We were going to be just fine.

Tuesday, February 11th, 2025 – 7 weeks pregnant

I stretched in the yoga class as Mallory collapsed next to me, "Oh my god," she grumbled, "Why do I do this,"

"To give you time away from your kids," Alex said from the other side of me, I smiled and she grumbled, "Just Drew," I shook my head and I leaned forward, "How is Troy doing?" Melissa asked, I shrugged, "Good I guess, he spent the weekend with his brother in California. He says the end of his rehab is going very well and that he should mostly be ready for the beginning of the season. He might spend a couple of starts in the minors. They haven't decided yet."

"How are you doing?" I smiled, "Good, I am battling a small bug but I'll live. The yoga made me feel a lot better." I sat down as my phone buzzed on the ground as everybody was rolling their mats up and drinking their water while talking. I saw Logan's school calling as I answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Bolton?"

"This is she," I answered as I stood up, "Logan is having a rough day today. She doesn't seem to be feeling good," I frowned, "Is she running a fever?"

"Low-grade, but she keeps asking for her dad and getting upset." I sighed as I yanked on my ponytail, "Do you think it can wait until pick up? Today is one of her half days," I said as I looked at the clock. "Yes, we just wanted to let you know she was having a bad day." I sighed, "Okay, I might swing by and pick her up early."

"Sounds good, thank you," I hung up and I took down my ponytail as I ran my fingers through my hair, "Logan okay?" Alex asked, I shrugged, "I guess. She is running a low-grade fever and is upset." Alex frowned, "Is she not handling Troy being gone very well?"

"She hasn't really mentioned it. They talk every night through FaceTime and she seems okay. She hasn't acted out or anything so I think she is just getting sick. Just my luck." Alex and Ellie laughed as I rolled up my mat tightly and yawned. "I was looking forward to a nap."

"She'll probably nap if she is sick," Melissa offered, "I guess. I don't know. She is probably getting what I got." They nodded and I took a deep breath as the nausea was playing a roll. "I'll see you guys sometime this week?" we all nodded as a lunch date was probably in order for most of us. I walked out of the room while going to my car. I figured I should just pick Logan up and then go home and we can all sleep.

I drove the fifteen-minute drove from yoga to her pre-school but my nausea got really bad. I breathed in and out trying to get it to disappear but it wasn't. I tried to suspense my groan as I opened my car door in the parking lot and breathed in the fresh air but there was a smell of food in the air as I gagged and puked in the grass by the car. I wanted to be embarrassed and mad that I was getting sick in the parking lot but I was happy that I was having symptoms of pregnancy.

It meant I was still pregnant.

I opened the glove boxes as I took out wipes to clean anything up and then I found a breath mint to freshen my breath. I carefully went around and locked my car as I ventured inside. A foul smell came off the infant room but I just focused on signing in and I turned to see Logan in the nurses off. She had red cheeks from crying, she caught sight of me and came over to wrap her arms around me. I bent down and I wiped her tears away.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, her forehead felt feverish and she was shaking. "Mrs. Bolton, I was getting ready to call you. She spiked a fever and is complaining about a tummy ache." I nodded my head as I stood up, "Is her coat and backpack up here?" she nodded and I helped Logan put her coat on and then I picked her up as she laid her head on my shoulder. I picked up her backpack and I thanked them as I took her out into the howling wind.

I put her into the car and buckled her in to her seat, as her eyes were heavy. "Let's go home and take a nap together," she nodded and I shut the door as I got into the drivers seat to call Troy. It rang a couple of times and then he answered.

"How is my favorite wife?"

"Okay," I answered, "Logan has a fever,"

"What? Is she okay?"

"Just sick. I just picked her up from school. She is complaining of a tummy ache,"

"I'm sorry Brie,"

"I'll be okay,"

"Call my parents or your parents if you need help. How are you feeling?"

"Battling nausea right now," I said quietly, "I puked in the parking lot but Troy, and every time I feel this way, and I know I am pregnant still so I feel okay. I feel okay with it." Troy smiled, "I love how you think baby, and I have to go but keep me updated on Lo okay?"

"I will."

I hung up and I glanced to see she was already asleep. We got home and I got her out as she woke up. I had her walk inside as I found some Tylenol for her to take and then put her into her PJ's. She took the Tylenol willingly and I gave her a sippy cup of water. I escorted her up to our room as I laid her down on the bed. I changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top as I crawled into the bed next to her as she cuddled up next to me.

"Let's take a nap baby girl," she slowly nodded her head and I kissed the top of her head. Two sick people make for good napping buddies.

I rubbed my eyes as I rocked Logan in the chair as she had a very stuffy nose and was completely congested. Her fever would only leave with a dose of Tylenol and she was miserable. She was achy and tired and she was fighting off any food I tried to give her.

I tried getting up and laying her down into her bed but she cried out. "Okay, okay, let's go to mommy's bed." I picked up her water and carried her to the bedroom. I laid her down onto the bed as I cuddled close with her. My phone buzzed as I was keeping Troy updated throughout the day.

"Hey," I answered, "How is she?"

"She won't let me go." I answered, "Her fever is lingering even with the Tylenol but not very high. She is coughing and her nosy is all congested. She took a serious turn for the worse after our nap." Troy sighed, "Do you need any help? I really don't want you getting sick."

"I'm fine. It is taking my mind off the nausea and stuff,"

"I hate that you are doing this by yourself,"

"Troy how is your elbow?"

"Good,"

"Good," I answered, "I am going to go to sleep unless you need me."

"You get some rest. Logan might keep you up tonight." I nodded, "Thank you,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too."

Saturday, February 15th, 2025

Logan lay on the couch as she was trying to recover completely from the virus that she had. The fever lasted until yesterday, which concerned me, but it finally broke yesterday. She lay on the couch and I tried to breath but was still being hit with waves of nausea.

My hands ran down to my stomach and I took in a deep breath. Logan sat up and I went to sit next to her, "Do you want to go stay with Grandma or Grandpa tonight?" I asked her gently, she shook her head and crawled into my lap. "I want to stay with you mommy." I nodded my head because I was the same way when I was sick. "Okay," I ran my fingers over her head, "I think we are going to visit grandma Ky though,"

She nodded her head and I looked down to see her PJ's. "You can go over in your PJ's." she nodded and I began to pick all of these things up. I grabbed some stuff that we would need as I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie while I picked up a blanket for Logan. I wrapped her in it and she smiled into my neck, "I still don't feel good mommy,"

"I know baby, you'll get better soon." We went down to the garage and it was cold. I put her into the booster seat and she buckled it in. I tucked the blanket around her again and then I gave her a toy to play with. I shut the door and went around to the front, as I knew my dad was probably home watching college football and my mom was cooking. I needed some home loving.

Pulling into their driveway I got out and grabbed Logan with her blankets. I then stepped into the front door as my dad was lying on the couch watching football. He glanced up at the door opening and he sat up, "Are you okay?" he asked, I nodded, "Perfectly fine. I am just really tired and she doesn't really want to be away from me so we both came."

"She still sick?"

"Her fever finally broke yesterday, just a bad cough and congestion." I gave Logan to my dad and she smiled, "Hi Papi," she greeted, "Hi sweet girl," she cuddled up with him as I collapsed on the love seat. "How have you been feeling?" he asked, "Morning sickness, tired, etc." I said as I pulled a blanket from behind the love seat and draped it over me. "I am going to take a nap and if you could watch her that would be great."

My dad laughed, "You got it,"

"Momma,"

"Logan,"

"Mommy," she poked me again and I opened my eyes to see her staring at me. "Logan, let mommy sleep," I rubbed my eyes as I opened my arms and pulled Logan into them. She giggled and I smiled as my mom sighed. "I tried to keep her distracted. She took her own long nap." I nodded as she pressed her head into my shoulder. "She's okay,"

"Your dad said you were lights out," my mom sat on the edge and I shrugged, "Logan has been keeping me on my toes the past couple of days. I was pretty tired." Logan stood up and she coughed. I shook my head as I sat up. A dull headache pressed forward and I rubbed my face. "Dad said you were dealing with morning sickness and fatigue," I just nodded my head, "and a headache right now," My mom rubbed my back and she sighed.

"Good idea you pulled by just coming over here."

"She is sick, I don't normally deny her what she wants when she is sick."

"I was the same way as you,"

"Where do you think I got it?" my mom laughed and she sighed, "Troy called your phone a little while ago. You might want to call him back." I reached over to grab it and I nodded as I laid back. "Hey! What are you doing?" I heard the happiness in his voice and I smiled, "I just woke up from a nap." I said as I rested my head onto the pillow. "Oh yea? Logan feeling better?"

"Kind of. Her fever broke yesterday and hasn't come back. She is still congested and coughing a lot. I wanted to take her to my parents house for a bit but she didn't want to leave me so I took a nap on my parents couch." Troy laughed, "Atta girl, how are you feeling today?"

"Tired mostly, nausea every now and then," Troy took a deep breath and I could see the smile on his face, "Monday," I smiled as my hands fluttered to my stomach, "I'll record it and send it to you."

"Thank you, I will be waiting for it." I smiled, "I feel good Troy,"

"You have no idea how much those words mean to me." I smiled and I rubbed my arms, "Bolton," the background got fuzzy and I sat up, "I'll talk to you later tonight when I put Logan to bed."

"I'll talk to you then, love you,"

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone and I glanced up to see my dad and Cameron walking through the living room. "Hi Cam," I called, he turned around and I smiled and waved. "Hi Gabs," he continued with my dad but Lilly came bouncing through afterwards. "Hi Gabi," she came over to hug me and I smiled as I hugged her back. "How are you?"

"Good, Logan and I were playing earlier."

"Was she good?"

"As always," I smiled and ran my fingers through my hair as I finally stood up and went into the kitchen. My mom was cooking dinner at the stove and I sat at the barstool. "How is Troy?"

"Missing us,"

"That's good. Are you excited for Monday?"

"Uh…kind of." I said, she looked at me and nodded in understanding, "I just want it to happen. I just want to hear the heartbeat but I will panic all the way until I hear it and every day after that I will panic." She nodded in understanding and I sighed, "What are you making for dinner?" I asked, she sighed, "Soup, it's cold and Saturday."

"Care if Logan and I stick around?" I asked, "Not at all. She is still a little sick,"

"I know," I said quietly, "I hate it but we are getting through." She stopped and came over to hug me, "You are an amazing mother Gabi," a sigh filtered out of my mouth, "I wouldn't be the mother that I am without you." She kissed my temple and I leaned against her, "I just hope I can have this baby mom," she rubbed my shoulder, "I thought that every single time as well Gabi and maybe it isn't the time but you'll be okay but I think it is. I think this is the one."

I squeezed her hand, "I hope so mom, Logan is already five,"

"Well you were seventeen," I laughed, "I know and I feel like I have no true connections to them." My mom nodded in understand and I shook my head, "I can't believe they will be fourteen soon."

"You're telling me!" I laughed, "That just means Troy and I have almost been together for fourteen years."

"Wow," I nodded my head as I thought about it, "We dated roughly three years, engaged for four, married for seven this next September,"

"That is just crazy." I nodded in agreement, "and we have only had one really bad rough patch."

"You probably could have handled that a lot better but you fixed it and that is all the matters."

My eyes looked at the wine glasses sitting in the pantry and the jealously seized through me that I couldn't have a glass of wine to unwind from this day. I went downstairs into the office and I pulled up the computer and I smiled at the background picture. It was one of Troy and I with a younger Logan. I pulled up a thing and I typed it into the search box.

Pregnancy after miscarriage

I bit on my lip waiting to see what would come up and plenty did. I clicked on one of the first ones I saw and it was a blog. I bit on my lip as I started reading through the blog. She described how happy she was the first time she found out she was pregnant.

And then the first miscarriage happened.

A year and half later she found out she was pregnant again…and she again was excited because how often do you actually have two miscarriages?

She made it to nine weeks.

She talked about the stress of her marriage with a man she fell in love with at work. She talked about how they were going to try again and they were successful. She made it to 29 weeks when she found out that her baby had died because of the cord wrapping around its neck and I couldn't hide my own tears from this. My stomach churned and I tried to not cry, I tried to click off the page but I continued to read. My eyes kept going and she got pregnant a fourth time for her to lose another baby in the early weeks.

I reached up to wipe my tears away and I gasped from the shock of reading somebody else's story. I wasn't alone in this world and I knew I was lucky because I had Logan. I reached for my cell phone and I called Troy because now I was freaking out.

"Gabi,"

"Hi," I hiccupped, he would hear right through my voice, "Gabi, what's wrong?" I put my hand on my forehead, "I'm scared," I heard him move and I heard the noise in his background disappear. "Baby, what are you scared of? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep so I went downstairs and I don't know what I am supposed to be feeling. I don't know why I am happy one moment about the pregnancy and then I am freaking out thinking its going to be over and I am scared to change and go to the bathroom that when I do I'll find blood and I am scared," Troy sighed, "I'm sorry Brie, I wish I could be there for you right now." A muffled sob worked out of my throat and I couldn't stop the tears. I squeezed my eyes shut and I could hear Troy trying to talk to me.

"Brie, baby," he begged, "I just want it to be September and I just want this to be over. I want this to be all over. I just want to hold my baby and I am not even eight weeks yet." My words were a bunch of babbles and I felt my stomach tighten. "What can I do? You tell me what you need me to do and I will do it." I tried to think of what he could do but there was nothing that he could do. "I don't know Troy, I don't know what you can do, I just…I need to know that the baby is okay. I need to know."

"Gabs," I tried to breath and Troy was quiet from the other end, "Monday will be here soon and then you'll know, you'll know on Monday okay?" I nodded, "What am I supposed to do until then?" I paused, "What am I supposed to do after that? I don't even know how I am going to do this for all of these weeks."

"Brie, we just,"

"No, Troy, shit happens even after the first trimester. I know the risk goes down but I am going to be in fear every single day. I am always going to be scared that one day it is fucking over and I can't do anything to stop it."

"I'm so sorry Brie, I wish I knew how to help you,"

"I wish I knew what you could do,"

"I'll see you soon, a few days okay?" I nodded wiping my tears off my face, "I love you Brie, and I know how hard this is for you."

"Don't worry about me," Troy chuckled, "Brie, I constantly worry about you pregnant or not." I sighed and wiped my eyes, "I love you," I said quietly, "Thank you for just letting me cry,"

"I wish I was there to hug you instead of listen to you."

"I do too but we made best of the situation right?"

He sighed, "Right."

Monday, February 17th, 2025

I let my foot go up and down as my mom calmed it gently and I looked at her, "I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can do this." I stood up and my mom gently pulled me back down, "Gabi, sweetie," tears filled my eyes as fear swept through my body.

She hugged me, "You'll be okay." She said softly, "You'll be okay." I shook my head and she nodded, "I am going to be right there with you the entire time. You got sick this morning and have been experiencing these symptoms. You are pregnant Gabi,"

"How did you do this mom?" I sat down and my mom rubbed my back gently, "It was hard." I put my elbows on my knees while I tried to breath through the amount of panic that was surging through my system. I pressed my sweaty palms against my jeans and I looked at my shaking hands. "What if,"

"Gabriella, no," my mom's voice caught me off guard as she looked at me, "You will not play the what if game," she said quickly, "You know better than that and if you play the what if game too much you will stress yourself out. You will be eight weeks pregnant tomorrow and that is so good Gabi," I took a deep breath and I heard my name being called. I let out a breath and I walked back with the nurse and my mom followed me.

My phone buzzed and I looked to see Troy texting me that he loved me. They took more blood from me and then had me change into the gown. My mind seemed a million miles away when Dr. Jo came in. "Gabi," I blinked and I looked at her, "I'm sorry, I just…" she nodded as she squeezed my knee, "Anxiety, I get it. I would be anxious as well. How have you been feeling?"

"Tired, sick…" I let it drag out and she nodded, "That is good, that sounds good too me." I nodded and nothing more come out of my lips, "She has been worried about the appointment," my mom offered, "I wouldn't blame her. Normally at this appointment I haven't given her very good news and that can cause a lot of different things."

She had me layback and my head tilted back as I shut my eyes tightly. I tried to imagine Troy right next to me so I wasn't doing this alone. My mom may have been here but I needed Troy. I wanted Troy. I felt my self-shut off the world as my heart raced inside my chest.

I just wanted September to be here.

"Gabi," my mom stressed, "No, I know I am supposed to be flying out tomorrow anyways but I am going tonight. I need to see him tonight."

"Gabi,"

"No," I answered, I didn't know if I should cry or curl up on my bed or laugh. I didn't know what I should do as I finished packing my bag. "Logan will be okay. I will be back the day after my birthday or something, I just…I need to see him, I need to tell him."

My mom sat on my bed and I took a deep breath as I ran my fingers through my hair, "Gabi," I looked at my mom and she hugged me tightly.

….Yikes. Look for an update Wednesday cause I promise you're going to want to read this bad boy.

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