In all of last chapter's excitement, we forgot to mention one very important detail: Shen vs. Kai has officially passed the mighty 100k milestone! No word count filter shall evade this story now! (Technically, it may not have QUITE been 100k when you remove the author's notes, but it certainly is now.) And it's on this momentous occasion that we prepare for the REAL final battle: the Lord of Gongmen and the Maker of Widows vs. the Shadow of Death. FIGHT!
Chapter 25: When Evil Collides
They all attacked at once. Shen stabbed up with his guandao and Kai swung both swords at Yinying, who likewise aimed punches at each of them. The latter was a lot more impressive when coming from a giant dragon. Shen and Kai were both struck, skidding back along the lengthy platform.
Not ones to give up, Kai immediately countered by throwing his blades back at him and Shen charged again from the side, leaping up and gliding towards him with newfound speed. Yinying contorted his long body back and raised a single arm, catching both of Kai's chains with no effort while the chi energy within caused nothing more than a slight sizzle against his scales. Smirking down at the yak, Yinying yanked him off his feet like he was nothing more than a cheap flail and swung him back into the airborne Shen, tossing them both away again.
Still in midair, Kai threw out chains to each side, wrapping around two semi-broken columns, and kicked off of Shen to hurl himself back at the demon. As he did, he formed a ball of chi between his hooves and shot it, point-blank, at his face. "EAT THIS!"
"TERMS ACCEPTED." Yinying opened his mouth and did exactly that, with about as much discomfort as someone trying a particularly spicy pepper. Kai was so flabbergasted that he forgot he was still flying directly towards his face until the dragon literally belched his own attack back at him. "AND ONCE AGAIN, THEY COME BACK TO BITE YOU!"
Kai fell to the ground, both scorched and a bit woozy. "Ugggh, who knew the essence of life could smell like death?"
A second later it was forgotten, for Shen landed on his head and sprung himself off just like Kai had moments before. His guandao poised and ready, he stabbed it straight into Yinying's belly. Or so he intended. To his shock, the polearm went directly through him and out the other side, but Shen's spirit warrior body didn't, smacking right into Yinying in a very undignified fashion. "What…?"
"STILL NOT UP TO QUALITY STANDARDS, MR. SHEN?" He quickly pushed himself away as Yinying reached for him, rushing for his dropped weapon. "NOT SO FAST, I STILL HAVE TO GIVE YOU YOUR SEVERANCE PAY!" Yinying's scythe-tail stabbed into the ground repeatedly behind him, only his enhanced speed and perception allowing him to make the journey as he moved like a blur between each attack. He leapt to avoid one more stab, grabbed the guandao as he flew over it, then spun himself around to face his foe. Yinying made no move to strike again, his tail still stuck in the ground in front of him. Shen charged forward and slashed at the appendage, the effort proving just as useless as before. "YOU KNOW, THIS ROUTINE IS STARTING TO FEEL *REALLY* FAMILIAR…"
In the midst of his frustration, Shen only just noticed that the dragon's tail was not stuck after all. It had simply phased into the ground...and the tip had now emerged behind him. Shen was struck hard in the back with the blunt end of it, nearly dropping his weapon again as he was sent back to whence he came.
Kai took this time to leap onto Yinying's back and plunge both swords into it. The dragon hissed loudly, flying upwards and smashing him into another floating rock above them, which shattered from the impact. Kai groaned, shaking it off. "Is that the best you-?" A particularly large rock landed on his head, this time dislodging him.
Naturally, he landed right on Shen again. The bird was remarkably unhurt, another benefit of his new powers, but he wasn't too happy about it right now as he shook his guandao in rage. "What is wrong with this thing?!"
"Idiot, your body is pure chi now, but your weapon isn't!" Kai growled, stepping off of him roughly. "You gotta infuse that power into it!"
"How?!"
"Really don't have time for a lesson at the moment!"
Yinying chuckled darkly, slitted eyes traveling from one spirit warrior to the other. "ARE YOU *SURE* YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING EACH OTHER ANYMORE? THESE NEGOTIATIONS SEEM RATHER HOSTILE. TIME TO IMPLEMENT A CONTAINMENT STRATEGY!" He once again reared back and breathed hellfire at them, but this time was different. The fire hit a few feet in front of them, then spread out in two directions around the surface of the platform, creating a ring of fire that was now closing in on them.
Shen and Kai stood back to back, searching for a way out. Every way was blocked and trying to jump out seemed unwise with Yinying right there watching them. "I've got it!" Shen yelled. "Cut us through the ground again, like you did back in Gongmen!"
"Just so you know, I meant for it to happen like that."
"Just do it!"
Thankfully needing a much smaller circle this time, Kai thrust his swords into the ground on each side of them and spun quickly. They just managed to drill through the thin surface before the fire closed in.
Of course, this now left them falling haplessly into the great unknown below, screaming a war cry (in Kai's case) and a furious squawk (in Shen's). On the bright side, there was a good chance they would never hit terminal velocity in a place like the Spirit Realm, but that was a small comfort when Yinying was already bearing down on them again. And it would be much harder to dodge fire in freefall.
Both warlords realized this and reached for their weapons. Shen grabbed a firework bomb and tossed it up at the incoming Yinying just as Kai threw another sword at him. Individually, neither attack was likely to do much to him, but it made for an interesting result when they collided just before hitting him. The bomb exploded prematurely, creating a blinding flash of light in the shadow dragon's face. Roaring in pain, Yinying veered off and crashed into another floating rock, but he wouldn't be slowed for long and they were still sitting ducks out here.
"There!" Shen called out, pointing a wing at a nearby structure. It was some kind of ancient temple that had seen better days, but would serve as a decent enough shelter. Wondering why he was even bothering to help Kai out, he extended his train and glided to the building, entering through a broken window. Wondering why he was even bothering to take advice from Shen, Kai tethered a sword to another rock and swung in after him.
Unfortunately, it was often the burden of the brains to realize what needed to be done. "Did you see that?" Shen asked, peering cautiously out the window. No sign of pursuit...for now.
Kai shook an extraordinary amount of dust off of himself. His landing had been much less graceful and softened with several pieces of old furniture and shattered pottery. "Which part? You smacking into Yinying's belly or getting blindsided by his tail?"
Shen fought down the urge to stab him. It would be somewhat detrimental to his point. "We don't stand a chance going at him by ourselves. As much as the thought makes me want to vomit, we need to fight as a team."
"I don't need your help!" Kai snapped quickly. So quickly it came across as an automatic response on his part.
"Oh really?" Shen stepped towards him, eyebrow firmly raised. "Then why, pray tell, did you even involve me in this farce? If you're such a supreme 'badass', why not just take on Yinying alone and keep all of your fancy chi to yourself?" He would've been angrier, except for the fact that he really was confused. "Why didn't you just-WATCH OUT!"
Shen roughly kicked Kai across the room, which nearly ended any chance of an alliance in record time, until a giant, scaly fist phased through one wall and pulverized another. It took up so much space in the small room that they were forced to hunch up against the remaining walls, trying to get their collective heartbeats back to normal rate. And they weren't even sure if they had heartbeats.
"MY APOLOGIES. AS MUCH AS I ENJOY YOUR INCESSANT BICKERING, I COULDN'T HELP BUT INVOLVE INTERNAL AFFAIRS."
Shen looked back out of the window that was now behind him. There was still no sign of Yinying. He watched the fist retract into the wall, which suddenly seemed a lot darker than it should be, and understood. Yinying was already inside the building, in the most literal sense possible.
Kai stood poised in front of the looming shadow, swords pointed outward. "Try that again, buddy, I dare ya." Yinying's foot came out of the ceiling and stomped him through the floor.
Good gods, I'm trying to WORK with this fool? Nevertheless, he stabbed at the foot, turning it incorporeal, then jumped through the hole after him.
The floor below was even deeper and darker, but a lot more roomy. They were in some kind of ornate hallway, surrounded by crumbling columns and ripped portraits. Shen found the drop softer than expected and saw that divine karma had made him land on Kai this time. "Don't suppose you're convinced yet."
Kai lifted his head with the bird still sitting on it. "That you're really starting to get in my way? Uh...yeah!"
Even in this darkness, Shen could spot a much blacker silhouette creeping down the wall towards them. "We don't have time for this! Just get us to higher ground!"
"I don't take orders from you!"
Like the Soothsayer in his younger years, he pulled the yak's ear forcefully to his beak. "DRIVE!"
Kai took off running down the hall just as two giant hands clapped together behind them. Struggling just to hang on to the stampeding bovine, Shen looked back and saw Yinying's shadow racing after them, his head emerging from the floor and snapping at their backsides. "Faster!" He drove his talons into Kai's side, literally spurring him on. Under the circumstances, the yak was no longer protesting.
"AHHHH, THIS BRINGS BACK MEMORIES. THE SIGHT OF MORTALS FLEEING IN TERROR NEVER GETS OLD." He pulled back just slightly, now opening wide to show purple fire building within.
"Left!" Shen yanked hard on Kai's horns, steering him out of the way of the incoming plume. But Yinying didn't let up.
"Right!"
"Left!"
"Right!"
"Jump!" A few of those crumbling columns had just crumbled into their path. The jump slowed them just enough that they came down on top of Yinying's nose, shoving him back into the floor as they finally reached the end of the hall and broke through a set of wooden doors.
It looked like some semblance of luck was finally on their side as now a staircase was in front of them. Kai sprinted up it without order. "Ha! Suck it, Dragon Breath! Hey, Shen, maybe we should keep working together like this! What do ya think?"
Shen's eye twitched violently. Let it go, Shen. It'll be easier this way. "Good. Idea."
They emerged outside, heading up another small flight of steps onto the roof of the temple. It was a relatively even surface, long and rectangular in shape, and lined along each corner by tall, pointed spires.
And floating between two of them was Yinying. The demon lounged lazily on his side, still floating in midair. It was as if he'd been waiting for an eternity, even more insulting coming from someone who'd actually lived a few. Shen and Kai simply nodded to each other and entered their stances, ready to confront him as a unit this time.
If anything, that only amused him more. "SO YOU'VE REACHED A RESOLUTION. FINALLY. UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I *ALSO* BELIEVE IN EQUAL PARTNERSHIPS." He pointed a claw across the rooftop to the opposite side, where an identical shadow doppelgänger of himself was mirroring his position. The second Yinying flew over to the first, exchanged a firm handshake, then returned to its original position. "I HOPE YOU WEREN'T UNDER THE DELUSION THAT YOU HAD SOME KIND OF ADVANTAGE NOW."
"Okay, teamie, now what?" Kai asked, if only because he couldn't decide which one to hit first.
"Don't bother with the phony. He's just trying to distract us. Stay focused on the real one."
"GOOD PLAN. NOT SURE WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT ONE." The two Yinyings rose high above them and began to circle each other, getting faster and faster until it looked like their heads and tails were fused together. It also made picking them apart much harder than it should have been. Shen and Kai watched in apprehension, staying on guard. Claws and fangs bared, the dragons suddenly charged across the rooftop in unison.
Shen got the real Yinying, jumping to avoid his charge and running across his back. He only made it halfway before the tail swung up at him again and knocked him off, completely ignoring his attempt to stab it. This was getting ridiculous now. For all the extra power he'd gained, he was still just a bird fighting a dragon without his weapons. Even the metal talons on his feet phased through him, so he didn't give Yinying so much as a good back scratching. "Kai! I need to know how to control chi!"
The yak had a much easier time, simply raising his swords as the dragon doppelgänger struck, cutting it in two as it passed by. Not that he was particularly satisfied either when it just reformed again seconds later. "Now?!"
The dragons turned around and charged again. "Unless you expect me to win by pecking his ankles off with my super-powered beak, yes, now!" This time, it was the shadow dragon that came for Shen, opening its jaws wide and swallowing him whole.
Kai sidestepped the real one and landed a slash to his cheek, splashing purple blood in his face as Yinying seethed. Now that was more like it. "Okay, okay, I'll give you the short version," he said, oblivious to the muffled screams of rage behind him. "It's all connected to your emotions, you see. You can't just wave your arms, well, wings, around and except anything to come of it. You gotta feel that fire burning within you! Show some passion!"
The screaming got louder as the shadow Yinying amused itself by repeatedly slamming its belly into the ground. "Yeah, just like that! Oh geez!" He swung a blade through the dragon's neck just as it was about to impale itself on one of the surrounding spires, freeing a very disgruntled Shen who tumbled to the ground. "So, did ya catch that?"
"Mostly," he grunted. "But I'm plenty livid and that doesn't seem to be helping me."
"Nah, I used to make that mistake too. It's not anger you need, you just have to be really serious about what you're striving for. Me? I've been bent on brutal revenge and showing the world I'm the best thing ever for five hundred years and still going strong. What do you want most right now?"
"DO BE CAREFUL, MR. KAI," Yinying mocked overhead. "HIS ANSWER IS LIABLE TO CHANGE IN THREE DAYS' TIME."
Shen lifted his head and glared up at him. "It's called a change of perspective."
"IT'S CALLED DIGGING YOURSELF DEEPER. AND *THIS* IS CALLED A SCORCHED EARTH DEFENSE!" The two Yinyings raised their necks to the sky and let loose their hellfire. The purple streams collided in the center and exploded outwards, raining dark embers down upon the rooftop. "OR WAS IT OFFENSE?"
"Incoming!" Kai raised his arms and created a shimmering barrier of chi over both of them. The embers battered against it, making it flicker with each attack. Even Kai knew it wouldn't hold for long, and the surrounding area was already going up in flames. "Sink or swim, Shen! I need you to help me reinforce this!"
He had learned kung fu in much the same way. What did he want most? The answer came quickly, lucky for them. "I want my second chance back. I want my city. I want my army. And even that stupid panda!" He raised his wings and channeled that righteous passion into the barrier. It shimmered brightly, and for a second, he thought that it was about to burst, but as he saw a tinge of red mixed in with the green, it was clear that it had worked. After all, this was how he had picked up so well on kung fu.
The shield held out, but when the firestorm came to an end, Shen knew he didn't have much time to act. He could already feel this surge of emotion fading fast. He sprung up and aimed a kick at the same spire he had nearly been shish kabob'ed on, breaking it off its support and into his wings, focused as much energy as he could into the thing, then hurled it straight at the real Yinying as hard as he could.
It carried a light, reddish glow for about half a second, then disappeared, leaving a perfectly ordinary piece of rock to sail harmlessly through Yinying. "BET YOU'RE GLAD YOU DIDN'T THROW YOUR WEAPON."
"DAMMIT!" If anger could control chi, he'd be unstoppable.
Kai was just as confused, which only annoyed him further. "Huh. To be fair, I did say that was the short version. I think there's also some spiritual junk about being yourself or whatever."
"How did you learn it?" he asked bitterly.
"Plenty of time to practice."
"'TRIES SO HARD, BUT SUCCESS JUST KEEPS SLIPPING FROM HIS GRASP'," Yinying mused. "THAT IS MY PERFORMANCE REVIEW OF YOUR *LIFE*, MR. SHEN. BUT SINCE I DO BASE MY ENTIRE BUSINESS MODEL OFF OF SECOND CHANCES, LET'S MAKE THIS INTERESTING AND GIVE YOU ANOTHER SHOT." He reached backwards and flexed his claws. The stone spire far behind him stopped in place and reversed direction, zooming past Yinying again and embedding itself back in the rooftop in front of them. "NOW BE SURE TO GIVE IT YOUR 110% THIS TIME. WE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO WASTE-"
Shen kicked the spire back at Yinying without so much as looking at it. "I don't need any more of your deals," he hissed.
The dark dragon made no move to dodge; he could already tell there wasn't a speck of chi on it. "WELL, I TRIED. DON'T SAY I'VE NEVER BEEN A GOOD SPORT, MR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGH!" He let out a choked gasp, looking down in shock at the spire now impaled through his serpentine body. "H-HOW?!" He looked down a bit further and found his answer: a chain loosely wrapped around the end of his tail.
"Can't say I've ever heard of a Mr. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGH!" Kai smirked, playfully tugging on the other end. "Is he a new client?"
This even got a chuckle out of Shen. "While I would have rather done it myself...that was worth it."
Yinying grabbed for the chain, but Kai yanked it away first. The dragon growled, coughing up purple blood and swaying side to side, considerably weakened.
"So is he dying yet? Frankly, this battle is really starting to drag on. Eh? Eh?" Kai nudged Shen, expecting a reaction to what he clearly thought was a brilliant joke.
If this was a part of being buddy buddy with Kai, Shen was no longer sure he wanted this. "When you're done making a fool of yourself, for the time being, look at Yinying."
The demon continued to grunt and gasp, wrapping a clawed hand around the spire. With a mighty yank, he pulled it out of him and tossed it aside. While normally not a wise thing to do with stab wounds, he didn't seem particularly worried, moving his other hand to close around his bead necklace. A series of agonized, blood curdling screams echoed out of the artifact, coming from so many different voices at once that the sound was nearly deafening. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, they then had to watch that gaping hole in Yinying's body start to close up by itself, bone, muscle, and sinew all fusing back together as if nothing happened. Even the minor cuts Kai had inflicted before were shrinking away. A few seconds later, all of their efforts up to this point had effectively been undone. "NOT A BAD HEALTH INSURANCE PLAN, EH?"
"THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT!"
"Pot, I believe Kettle has a message for you. Would you like to hear it?"
"DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD ENTER THIS CONTEST WERE I NOT ENTIRELY CONFIDENT I'D COME OUT ON TOP?" Yinying asked, relishing in the frustration he'd caused. He really wasn't too different from Kai in that regard. "JUST LIKE THAT PANDA OF YOURS, IT APPEARS YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WE DEMONS OPERATE. FOR INSTANCE, WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE THE OTHER ME RAN OFF TO?"
They paused, looking to each other for an answer. Indeed, the fake Yinying had inexplicably disappeared some time ago. That mystery lasted only as long as it took to feel the sudden rumbling beneath them. "JUMP!" they both shouted, advice neither of them needed, lifting off the ground a second before it shifted violently and sprung up after them. The other Yinying lifted the roof from underneath and flipped it over in a foiled attempt to topple them. The surface made a full 180 degree rotation and landed back in the shadow's hands, leaving Shen and Kai to land back on what was formerly a ceiling. The result made their current battleground look more than a little like a giant table, albeit one missing a leg. The platform continued to rise, leaving its home far behind, until it now occupied a space almost totally isolated from any other surface, the doppelgänger staying in place to hold it up.
Shen pondered for a moment why the laws of gravity suddenly applied to this platform and not so many others. His brain nearly imploded from the effort and he promptly disregarded it.
"MR. SHEN AND MR. KAI," Yinying purred maliciously, seated at one end of the "table". "YOUR DISCIPLINARY HEARING IS NOW IN SESSION. YOU ARE FORMALLY CHARGED WITH BEING A PAIR OF RIGHT ASSHOLES. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"
"Guilty."
"So guilty."
He probably would have banged a gavel if he had one. "THEN YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO EXECUTION, WHICH WILL BE CARRIED OUT BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERS!"
Shen furrowed his brow. "I've heard of that legal system and I don't think that's how it works."
"And the only 'peers' I have are dead men," Kai added. "Present company included."
"EXACTLY." Yinying clutched his necklace with both hands, making it glow brightly. "COME FORTH, MY YES MINIONS!"
One by one, a series of contracts appeared around him, spreading out and surrounding the entire platform. There had to be hundreds of them, and given how long Yinying had been around, only because there wasn't enough room to fit thousands. They all opened at once, each marked with the signature of a doomed soul, calling forth a dark presence from within Yinying's necklace. Streams of black shot out of the beads, each one hitting the surface and taking on the silhouetted shape of a past debtor. They came in a wide variety of species, including some neither of them had ever seen before, yet they could barely be told apart, their individual features all blending together in the sea of shadows and blank, purple eyes. Raising what vaguely looked like weapons, the Yes Minions shambled listlessly towards them, monotone voices droning.
"Must obey Master."
"Must serve Master."
"Must agree with everything Master says."
"Must sacrifice dignity and self-worth to appease Master."
Unnerved, Shen took a step back and raised his guandao, useless as the gesture might be. "YOU SEE, MR. SHEN? I DON'T HAVE TO BE A SOOTHSAYER TO SHOW YOU YOUR FUTURE."
Kai was less impressed. "What, you're just ripping me off completely now?"
"I CAME FIRST!"
"No…" Shen said, listening to the continuous voices surrounding them. "These aren't the same as your 'jombies'. There's something different about them."
"You mean that they can talk? Big deal, I like 'em better quiet anyway."
"ASTUTE AS EVER, MR. SHEN. WHILE MR. KAI'S SUBORDINATES WERE MERELY SOULLESS HUSKS ANIMATED BY CHI, MINE ARE THE VERY SOULS THEMSELVES, THEIR CHI SAFELY STORED AWAY FOR MY OWN USE." He tapped the beads of his necklace for emphasis. They shimmered faintly with a golden glow that was quickly extinguished. "AND THUS, A LIABILITY BECOMES AN ASSET. VERY EFFICIENT, DON'T YOU THINK?"
"That's sick!" Surprisingly, that outburst came from Kai. "You're not even giving them a chance to put up a fight if you hog all the chi like that! Great warriors should never be handicapped in battle!" Shen stared at him, unsure if he should really be surprised or not.
"IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, MOST OF THEM WERE NEVER 'GREAT WARRIORS' TO BEGIN WITH. THERE ARE MANY KINDS OF MORTALS WHO DESIRE A SECOND CHANCE, AND THE STRONG ONES AREN'T NEARLY AS PROFITABLE."
Shen almost gasped. Looking closer at the minions, what little he could make out didn't seem anything like fierce, undead murderers, just relatively innocent civilians being used as puppets and meat shields. The thought hit uncomfortably close to home. But Kai was just as incensed, and that did surprise him, if only because of how much it didn't. The yak had never been interested in killing those who couldn't fight back. "Correction: that is sick and wrong and I think I actually have a problem with that!"
The demon shrugged. "IT'S QUANTITY OVER QUALITY, I ADMIT, BUT AT LEAST *I* GIVE THESE SOULS A WORK-SANCTIONED BREAK EVERY NOW AND THEN. I PROVIDE BENEFITS, ETERNAL LIFE INSURANCE, AND EVEN OPPORTUNITIES FOR ADVANCEMENT. LIKE SO!" He swung an arm forward, pointing at the two spirit warriors. "FIRST ONE TO RECRUIT THESE MORTALS GETS A RAISE...FROM THE DEAD!"
The Yes Minions, who had been in no rush to reach them before, now charged eagerly at the duo.
"Must show initiative."
"Must think outside the box."
"Must overshadow coworkers."
Kai's unexpected pity for these beings did nothing to stop him from attacking them. In fact, he was now even more determined to get them out of his sight. His chain blades cut through swaths of the shadow spirits at once, destroying them with barely any effort. The only ones that came close were a horde of spiders far too big to have grown that way naturally, who leapt for him all at once and were wiped out by a single, rippling shockwave of chi. The yak looked even smugger than usual, hooves pulsating with an energy that said, "Who's next?"
Shen once again had a bit more trouble. Since getting his weapons to hold any kind of chi charge was still a crapshoot, he settled for the old-fashioned method of simply punching and kicking any who got too close. It was all that he needed as they went down pitifully easy, so much so that he used this opportunity to practice. Shen whirled around and stabbed his guandao into a freakishly tall mouse, concentrating as hard as he could on how much he wanted to end Yinying. The weapon glowed bright, but only for a second, which was more than enough to impale the strange being on his weapon and purge him. If these were the kind of second chances these people signed away their souls for, he was starting to become less sympathetic.
With every minion vanquished, their corresponding contract rolled up and disappeared, only to be quickly replaced by another, again and again. "SUPPLY AND DEMAND, GENTLEMEN. I'VE GOT A VERY GENEROUS SURPLUS HERE."
"Gods, shut up already!" Kai yelled, vaporizing a skinny hippo with a chi blast. "I don't even understand half of what you're saying anymore!"
"To be fair, me neither." Briefly distracted, Shen hissed as a shadowy hand grabbed his wing, sending a sharp chill through his body. The offender was a snake. "Gah!" He kicked it away and watched it burst into a ball of light, but he could see now where this battle was heading. Even if they couldn't tire physically, these beings could still harm them, and with a seemingly endless supply, Yinying had once again put them on a time limit. "Incidentally, we may want to consider an actual plan here."
"You wouldn't be saying that unless you had one already, so out with it!"
Shen watched another batch of Yes Minions vanish, return to Yinying's necklace, then get promptly replaced. The source of the problem was quite obvious. Dodging away from an air-breathing fish that flopped after him, Shen leapt onto Kai's back again and whispered to him. "If we get close enough, do you think you can suck the chi out of that necklace?"
Kai held himself back from flinging the bird off. "Heh, I'm up for any plan that benefits me. Think you can handle the journey?" Already, the path to Yinying was blocked with a few dozen Yes Minions and counting.
Under the mocking edge, Shen could sense a smidge if genuine concern, which was the only thing keeping him from snapping back at him. "We'll use a diversion. Of the living jade statue variety."
"Uh uh, no way. I can't afford to use up any more of my chi right now. These guys aren't worth the jade." He was nailed in the chest by a gorilla that seemed to be literally made of stone. "Ow, my soul! Fine, but only one!" He sent a sword through his head and kicked the boulder away.
An emu flew down at Shen, only to be cut away by a swinging chain. The idea of hiding behind Kai like this was really starting to get to him. "Then use one that's good enough to keep up! Like Oogway!"
Kai scowled. "No."
"Then that Tai Lung one! I'm really not picky!"
"It's pronounced 'Taiwan', and I've got a better idea." Their numbers finally growing too large to easily dispatch, the Yes Minions banded together and jumped them both at once, a faint green spark emanating just as they were buried under a pile of blackness.
"Must destroy mortals."
"Must take all credit for destroying mortals."
A massive explosion knocked the minions back in every direction, some falling over the edge of the platform while others hit the floating contracts and were destroyed by some demonic confidentiality clause. One small cat barely clung to the edge by its fingertips. "Must hang in there." Shuddering a bit from the lingering effects of their touch, Shen and Kai were now joined by a new jombie. He was large, round, and probably would have shouted "Shakabooey!" had he been able to.
Kai could already feel Shen glaring at the back of his neck. "What? I thought you'd appreciate this."
Shen had to concede that a silent, obedient version of Po did have some appeal, and his kung fu skills were nothing to sneeze at either. "Oh, alright. He can stay."
"OH YES, LET'S BRING IN THE IDIOT PANDA I ALREADY MADE A FOOL OF ONCE BEFORE. SURELY, *HE* WILL TURN THE TIDE. AND SPEAKING OF TIDES..." In a matter of seconds, a new army of Yes Minions arose all around them. Some of them they were pretty sure had already been up.
"Must improve on previous shortcomings for more effective job performance."
With barely a command from Kai, jombie Po charged into the advancing horde and extended his arms, clotheslining them on each side. "Hey, he kinda reminds me of me," Kai chuckled. "I see why you like him."
"The resemblance is not lost on me. Now if we could get back to…?"
"Oh yeah, right." Kai threw both chains, cutting through a multitude of shadows in the process, aiming for Po. Sensing his intentions, the jade panda curled himself into a ball and allowed the chains to wrap around him. Kai roared loudly, as he was still a bit on the heavy side, and pivoted on his hooves, swinging the panda around like a giant green meteor hammer. With every rotation, dozens more fell, and he continued to pick up speed. The Yes Minions just kept coming anyway, but it no longer mattered when Kai abruptly released his grip. Freed from the chains, Po was flung spinning, with ironic resemblance to a cannonball, into Yinying's face.
The dragon was suddenly a lot less amused. "WHAT THE HOME?! GET OFF OF ME, YOU PLEBEIAN!" Jombie Po was as much of a rebel as the real one, squatting on Yinying's nose and raining punches into his eyeballs. The demon reared his head back and shot fire up at him, which glanced off of his soulless body with no effect whatsoever. Except that it seemed to inspire him to grab Yinying by the nostrils and yank. Hard. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"NOW!"
Shen and Kai charged in unison, their path to Yinying now clear. One particularly ambitious shadow jumped in front of them, an elephant with an Indian tassel hat and a regular nose. "Must make big moves to get ahead." A simultaneous slash from both spirit warriors cleaved his form in two. Shen made it to the goal first, doing a flying kick into Yinying's stomach. There was a flash of light from the impact and the dragon doubled over just slightly. It was enough for Kai to jump up, over his head, then turn around to wrap his chains around Yinying's horns, tethering himself onto his back much more firmly than before. "Now come to Daddy." He reached one hoof out towards the necklace and pulled.
The beads jiggled around, the chi within being called towards him. He strained and pulled harder, trying to take even a smidgen of that power. Yinying halted his efforts by simply reaching up and pinching the ornaments still. "YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE THAT EASY?! THE TERMS SAID 'LEGAL AND BINDING' AND I *MEANT* IT!" He finally shook Po off of him, stomping him hard into the ground before he could get back up. "SOME DRAGON WARRIOR HE WAS. NOW LET'S DISCUSS WHY YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD-HEY!"
A pair of glowing knives flew at his chest, severing the thick strings that supported his necklace. The artifact fell off of Yinying's neck, missing the platform and hurtling into the abyss. He looked over at Shen, who was now holding a half dozen more in his wings that glowed steadily. "I figured it out."
Yinying hissed and shot downward, ignoring both him and the yak still clinging to his horns. He aimed himself at the falling necklace and flew after it, quickly gaining on it. Seeing this, Kai released one chain and threw it further ahead. "If that thing is keeping all the chi from me, I'll just have to break it!"
Yinying's slitted eyes widened and he extended his arm, reaching out to the necklace telepathically and moving it out of the way. He did this again and again as Kai kept slashing at it, growing increasingly more panicked in the process. "STOP UNDERMINING MY AUTHORITY!"
"How about I undermine your face!?"
Pulling the necklace away once again, Yinying maneuvered it in a wide arc to circle back around to him, only to make another detour when a few more knives flew past it. Swooping after them on his own, admittedly less impressive wings, Shen closed in to join them. Yinying's tail lashed out at him and Shen parried it with his now fully-charged guandao. He got his opening when Po belly-flopped past him and grabbed the tail in a submission hold. "That'll do, panda. That'll do."
Shen flew over towards Kai and stabbed the guandao firmly into Yinying's back. He smiled at the scream of pain this elicited. "You were right, Kai. But it wasn't about what I want, it's what I need. Regrettably, that seems to have become a desire to save these hapless strangers."
"Ouch. Tough break." Another toss, another miss. "AND SO IS THIS! BREAK, DAMMIT!"
"Good news. I have another idea." Without even waiting for a response this time, Shen tightened his grip on the guandao and kicked Kai hard in the back with both talons, catapulting him towards the necklace. The yak was only slightly belligerent about this, realizing that he was indeed in a very good spot to catch it now.
Yinying realized it as well, and in the midst of taking a deep breath, also realized that even hitting him now wouldn't guarantee the safety of his beads. For a second, he was actually afraid he might lose this wager, but he hadn't gotten this far in the industry by giving up when the chips were down. In this business, it was all about finding the right opportunity.
"Almost...there!" Kai once again ignited his hind hooves to get that extra boost. The necklace was so close he could almost touch it now, his fingers reaching out to grasp it. He came within inches of the prize when Yinying abruptly rotated his head in the opposite direction and let loose his hellfire.
Shen never saw it coming. Engulfed in a flaming, yet chilling inferno that burned away at him from the inside out, he wasn't even sure if he screamed as he fell from the dragon's back.
But he did, and Kai heard him, his fingers just barely scratching the necklace when they jerked back at the last second. "SHEN!"
He could see the bird spiraling downwards, completely limp, followed by a much more animated black fist plowing into his side. "CHECKMATE!"
Kai was knocked away from the necklace, which Yinying happily snatched back up, but that moment already felt like eons behind him. Neither the necklace nor its owner mattered to him now. All he knew then was that he needed to catch Shen and do whatever he could to save him. Just like...well, there was no point even pretending otherwise anymore, just like Oogway. "No...I won't let this happen again!" Steadying himself in midair, Kai aimed for Shen and launched himself at him, catching the bird and wincing from the dark embers still rolling off of him. Together, they landed on another large surface below.
It almost seemed redundant in a place like this, but they appeared to be in some kind of graveyard. Tombs and headstones of many varieties surrounded them like a small forest of stone and death. Each was assigned to a different late master, adorned with flowers, coins, and other objects of tribute. Were these merely replicas of what they were given in the Mortal Realm, or a place where such offerings were meant to pass over to the masters themselves? Either way, no one had been around to claim them for a long time, and Kai knew he himself was to blame for that.
But he cared even less than he usually would. All he was focused on now was keeping Shen alive...or less dead, however that worked. Unfortunately, his knowledge of healing mortal wounds was severely lacking, let alone the literally soul-crushing agony the bird was afflicted with now. His white feathers were almost completely charred black, yet his body was as cold as death. He shook him a few times, but Shen did not stir. His eyes were open, but staring blankly at him, with no acknowledgement he was even there. In any other situation, it might have been insulting. "Hey...come on, you birdbrain! Wake up! You don't get to borrow my power just to squander it! I know you're not that weak! Wake up already! I'm not letting you go that easily! This is pathetic!" But even his touching and heartfelt words did nothing to help him.
For Lord Shen, the battle continued to wage not in the Spirit Realm, but within the depths of his own soul. Unsurprisingly, it was a pretty dismal place.
He saw himself emerging from an egg, with noticeably more effort than it took most peafowl. When he poked his head out into the world, he was greeted not by cries of joy, but screams of horror.
He was a few months old and laying in a cot. The family doctor was telling his parents that he was unlikely to live much longer.
A year passed and he continued to live anyway, but still remained bedridden. His parents were arguing about what to do with him.
He was five now, walking unsteadily on his talons beside the Soothsayer. His parents were nowhere in sight. He asked where they were, but the goat avoided the question.
At the age of seven, he was brought outside the tower for the first time. Only the Soothsayer and some royal guards accompanied him. He couldn't understand why the citizens looked at him so distastefully.
Now ten years old, he was confined to his room, a huge assortment of scrolls lining the walls around him. He wiped a small tear from his eye, forcing himself to keep reading. He told himself he didn't need anyone else.
By thirteen years of age, he knew almost everything about his family's royal lineage, without any help from the family. He could already feel the pressure to succeed mounting in him and wondered how he could possibly measure up.
At fifteen, he started kung fu training. After being beaten to a pulp in his lessons, Master Thundering Rhino told him that he should pursue other talents. He didn't know if he had any.
At seventeen, he began following in his family's fireworks industry. His first attempt resulted in an explosion that scarred his talons for life. His parents told him not to try again. He did anyway.
At twenty, he discovered an alternative use for the fireworks. It was a literal spark of hope in his depressing life, a spark soon extinguished by an overheard prophecy.
What came next were mere flashes. Screams, fire, pandas fleeing in terror, wolves running in pursuit, actions he once held so much pride in, but now were being used to torment him. And it didn't stop there. Shen relived his banishment, his years in exile, the cold and desperation, the hatred and ridicule, the worst defeats, the worst moments, the absolute worst memories of his life up until his untimely death.
Shen might well have succumbed to despair if not for what came next.
The flashes continued, but now they showed more recent memories. His anger over the Wolf Boss's jombification, his fear over the Soothsayer's seeming death, his sheer determination to take his city back. And then there was the panda, Po. There was a lot of him in here, and nothing about it was all that unpleasant. He didn't even see the part where he learned about the genocide and attacked him, as if that was completely irrelevant now. And through his stubbornness to change him, Shen saw his refusal to fire on his troops to kill Kai, his genuine care for the people of Gongmen, and ultimately, his choice to save them all from Yinying.
It was just as Po said. It wasn't the past that truly mattered, but what he chose to be now.
Shen chose to wake up.
The bird's eyes refocused, seeing a concerned Kai hovering over him. The dark sheen dissipated off of him, repelled by his inner light, leaving him as good as new. Still dead, but it was a start. "You can put me down now."
He didn't. Kai instead pulled him into what was generally referred to as a bro hug, the likes of which he'd already received from Po. He really needed to stop getting so close to people so much bigger than him. Unlike Po, he at least seemed to realize how foolish he looked and released him a second later. "I mean, yeah, sure, whatever." He dropped him, very roughly, to the ground. "Oops! Er...you still can't stand up yet, you weakling?!"
Was I this bad with Po? Oh dear, I was, wasn't I?
The sound of loud, piercing clapping prevented any further argument. Yinying descended to their level, his necklace now firmly back in place. Shen could see his guandao still stuck in his backside, but if it was bothering him, he didn't show it. "IMPRESSIVE. THE *OLD* MR. SHEN NEVER WOULD HAVE RECOVERED FROM THAT BLAST. TO BE HONEST, A PART OF ME THOUGHT YOUR BRAVE SACRIFICE WAS JUST A FLUKE, BUT THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT ABOUT IT NOW. THE ENTIRE MAKEUP OF YOUR SOUL HAS GONE THROUGH A REORGANIZATION."
Shen staggered back to his talons, still a bit winded from the experience. "What a shame. For you, that is."
The dragon smiled, wide and dangerously. "YOU MISUNDERSTAND. THIS IS NOT A LOSS, BUT A GAIN. NOBLE SOULS ARE ALL THE SWEETER!"
Kai was already back in his stance, trying very hard to pretend his moment of weakness had never happened. "Okay, that's it! I am officially done with this guy! Shen, let's put him to bed for good!"
Shen raised a wing, and with powers even he didn't fully understand, called out to his guandao. The weapon wiggled and pried itself out of Yinying's back, making him hiss in pain, then flew into his waiting wing. "I sincerely believe nothing will bring me greater pleasure." He knew now that their opponent was not insurmountable. He had a weakness, and one they could exploit. All they had to do was get their hands on that necklace.
Yinying stared back, expressionless. This was much the same way they started, but even he could sense that the momentum was shifting. And he didn't like it. "I SEE. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST BEING IRONIC WHEN I CALLED THIS A TEAM-BUILDING SEMINAR. A LOT OF PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE HERE TODAY, GENTLEMEN." He extended both arms in their direction, with a demonic smirk that put both of theirs to shame. "BUT I AGREE, IT'S ABOUT TIME WE WRAPPED THIS UP."
He moved his arms to each side, then down and around to form a giant circle. When it was finished, he violently pulled his arms apart again. It was like he had literally ripped a hole in the Spirit Realm, but not just any hole. Shen recognized the oppressive blackness inside as Yinying's very own pocket dimension, the one where he had unknowingly set all of this in motion. And now he wanted him back. "COME INSIDE MY CIRCLE OF TRUST!"
He wasn't taking no for an answer either, as this literal black hole was already sucking in everything around them. Hundreds of masters had been honored in this graveyard and their offerings were going to waste, ripped from their tombs and vanishing into the portal, and the tombs weren't far behind. This entire place and the memories it treasured were being erased before their eyes, which might have been more disheartening except for the fact that they too were being sucked in. Shen dug his metal talons into the surface, only slowing him down until he once again stabbed his guandao into it for leverage. If it weren't for the extra polish of chi, he was pretty sure it would have broken by now. Kai was using a similar trick with his own blades, though his much greater girth also helped.
Aiming to challenge that girth, jombie Po came soaring out of the sky once more, aiming a punch for Yinying's head. The dragon lashed up with his tail and knocked him back, just missing Shen as he hit the ground. The peacock could've sworn he saw the jombie shoot him a thumbs up before he was sucked away, once again forced to watch helplessly as he was absorbed into the black hole. There was a flash of purple and suddenly the pull grew even stronger. "AHHHHH, THAT WAS REFRESHING! IF MR. PO WERE A LATTE, HE'D KEEP ME AWAKE FOR CENTURIES!"
Shen saw Kai gasp and lurch violently beside him, but disregarded it. As much effort as it took right now, he glared at the demon. That proved to be a fatal mistake as he failed to notice a tombstone being ripped out of the ground behind him until it collided with his back. Shen was thrown into the air, leaving his guandao behind. He thought for sure that his luck had finally run out until he felt a chain wrap around his ankle. "Hey! What part of 'I'm not letting you go that easily' did you not understand?!" Kai shouted up at him. With only one chain to support himself now, he was being dragged, slowly but steadily, towards the gaping black maw. This didn't seem to concern him in the slightest.
Whipping around like a kite in a storm, Shen grunted and tried again to call his guandao to him. It worked just enough to get the weapon unstuck from the ground, but it flew past his grasping wings and into the portal. He hoped absorbing that at least gave Yinying a good pinch because now he was officially out of options. "Let me go, you idiot! Or else he's just going to drag us both in!"
"Sorry, but that whole self-sacrifice shtick doesn't have the same 'oomph' the second time around!" Kai sounded almost playful, yet there was no mistake he was desperately trying to reel Shen back in, all the while losing more and more ground. By now, the two of them were about the only things left standing. "Also, it'd be really cool if you could climb yourself back down here!"
If that's how you want it. Shen bent down, grabbing the end of the chain after a few tries. But instead of climbing it, he closed his eyes and concentrated. Between Kai, Yinying, and the environment being ripped apart around them, it was hard to stay focused, but if he could work in the middle of the Fireworks Factory with a bunch of howling wolves and exploding gunpowder, this should be no problem for him.
"Not sure what you're doing, but it's not what I told you to do! Can you even hear...me?" Shen did not climb down the chain, but something did. A greenish light tinged with red flowed from Shen's wing, down the chain, and into Kai. He knew what it was instantly: the very same chi he had lent Shen at the start of the battle, and a bit of his own for interest. But even knowing what it was did not prepare him to take it in. The yak stiffened with stunned disbelief. "Woah...is this what it feels like?"
Shen didn't quite understand the surprise, but it was a moot point, as now that he had donated all of that chi, he was little more than a limp rag doll flailing around in the current. Thankfully, Kai at least knew how to put it to good use, planting a hoof and stopping their forward momentum. He pulled Shen roughly to his side and quickly chained the bird to his back. Humiliating, but effective.
"HOW PRECIOUS. THIS IS ALMOST STARTING TO BORDER ON INAPPROPRIATE WORKPLACE BEHAVIOR. I BETTER PUT A STOP TO IT NOW." Yinying drew his massive hands closer, shortening the width and range of the black hole. But like any vacuum, this also focused its suction on the two spirit warriors.
Even with effectively twice the strength he had before, Kai struggled to remain rooted to the spot. "Come on...is that...the best...you've got?!"
"NO. IT'S THE BEST *YOU'VE* GOT!"
"The hell...is that...supposed to…?" And then Kai saw them. His jade amulets, the pride of his collection, were flying off one by one, into the belly of the beast. He laughed. "Ha! Joke's...on you! Until I...load 'em with chi...those are just...useless baubles!" Shen nodded wearily. Even he knew that much.
So then why did Kai seem to be getting weaker? Even as he continued to boast, his movements grew more sluggish, and suddenly Yinying was pulling them in again. The suction too was getting stronger, and the dragon demon himself growing even larger now. "YOUR KNOWLEDGE IN THIS FIELD IS SORELY LACKING DESPITE YOUR EXPERIENCE. YOU OWN THE BODY, YOU OWN THE CHI, YOU OWN THE SOUL. THEY ARE ALL INTRINSICALLY LINKED. IT'S A PACKAGE DEAL, MR. KAI. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN ABLE TO CLAIM ENTIRE SOULS WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT?"
"S-Shut up...you...bat...dragon...guy…" Now even his insults were getting weaker. Shen looked over his shoulder and saw a flash of green. Another jade amulet, the most important of them all, was barely clinging to the string around Kai's neck. Kai noticed it at the same time and his eyes widened.
"NO!" They both reached for it at once.
And they both failed to grab it in time. Oogway's amulet tore off of Kai and into Yinying. The resulting power boost was so massive that he nearly doubled in size, enough that he could easily crush them both under a single toe if he wanted. He did not accept it gracefully. "NOW *THAT* HITS THE SPOT! NO OTHER DEMON COULD EVER HOPE TO TASTE THE GRANDMASTER'S SOUL, BUT I'VE DONE IT! LOOK AT ME NOW, ALL YOU BIGWIGS DOWN BELOW! LITTLE YINYING FROM ACCOUNTING HAS JUST OBTAINED SUPREME ULTIMATE POWER! THE ENTIRE UNDERWORLD IS GOING TO BE MY GOLF COURSE! BUT FIRST…" Now barely even bothering to exude the effort, Yinying stared down at his two captives with one gigantic eye. "...I DO HATE TO LEAVE ANY LOOSE ENDS. A DEAL IS A DEAL."
Critically weakened, Kai could do little more than just stand there, stalling the inevitable. Yinying was in no rush to absorb them now, but they inched closer and closer to their demise by the second. "Hey...Shen?" Kai asked, taking great effort even to lift his head. "I...don't think we're gonna win this…"
Shen barely nodded back. "No. I don't believe we are…"
Kai expected something akin to his life flashing before his eyes to occur at that moment. It did not. Perhaps even that part of his brain no longer had enough power to function. All he could think to do now was keep himself from having any last regrets. Aside from losing, of course. "Then I just gotta say...you weren't so terrible to fight with. It was actually kinda fun. Shame we won't get to do it anymore."
"And you...weren't as much of an imbecile as I thought. You even taught me some things of your own. Indeed, it was fun while it lasted."
Yinying raised his hand, ready to sign off on this deal for good. "FAREWELL, MR. SHEN AND MR. KAI. I'D SAY 'REST IN PEACE', BUT I THINK WE'RE BEYOND DECEPTION. OH, WHAT'S THIS?" The deserted wasteland this platform had been reduced to now had a few more guests. From the shadows of destroyed graves rose several figures that now approached the duo. "MY YES MINIONS HAVE CAUGHT UP JUST IN TIME. THE OFFER'S STILL OPEN, EVERYONE! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS GIVE YOUR NEW COWORKERS A LITTLE PUSH AND THEN WE'LL CELEBRATE WITH AN OFFICE PARTY TO *DIE* FOR!"
The Yes Minions closed in on Shen and Kai, the latter sighing in resignation. "Welp, that's it then. See you on the other side...partner."
Shen managed a small smile. "You too...partner."
The shadows paused momentarily, then launched themselves at them. They closed their eyes and felt the icy bodies connect...but something was different this time. There was no pain, inside or out, and the shadows were disappearing on contact. Were they repelling them somehow? No, the truth was even stranger: the shadows were entering their bodies.
Shen shook off his revulsion at that thought, focusing instead on what this meant for them. On that, he had no earthly clue, but as he continued to feel no ill effects, it became a pressing concern. "Kai, what are they doing?"
"I don't believe it…" the yak said breathlessly. "They're being absorbed by us...willingly."
Yinying was just as baffled. "NOT SURE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, BUT IT'S NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO. DON'T MAKE ME REVIEW THE SLIDES." He then noticed his necklace, shaking violently from all of the chi that now sought to escape it. "WHAT?! NO!"
"Forgot already?" Kai asked, his smugness returning as swiftly as it disappeared. "It's all intrinsically linked, right? So maybe it's you that needs a little push!" With what little strength he could still muster, Kai grabbed hold of the chi inside the necklace and yanked once more. With pressure from both sides, the beads finally began to crack, chi energy flowing through the seams. Like a magnet, it was drawn to its hosts within Kai and Shen, who apparently wanted nothing more than for them to have it.
The effect was instantaneous. All the energy Shen and Kai had lost was quickly being restored. Soon they would be able to fight again, and yet it just kept coming. But why? Shen still didn't understand. The behavior of the Yes Minions made no sense...unless…it couldn't really be that cheesy, right? "Perhaps these wayward souls have seen in us what you've denied them for so long, Yinying. Compassion, comradery, even friendship." Kai gagged loudly. "I imagine those concepts are as foreign to you as they used to be for me, so I'll put it a way you can understand: your former clients have just found a better offer."
"I WILL NOT BE OUTBID!" Even as Yinying pulled away in protest, now it was him being forcefully drawn back towards the duo, chi continuing to pour from his necklace. A few beads shattered entirely, freeing some souls who didn't even know who these two were and just joined out of peer pressure. Nevertheless, Shen and Kai were growing exponentially more powerful, to the point that Shen now hopped off of Kai's back and mirrored his chi stealing technique. He wasn't sure if he was doing it right, but it didn't matter at the rate he was getting it anyway. As the souls continued to pile on, even their mantra began to change.
"Must fight Master."
"Must destroy Master."
"Must be free."
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Yinying screeched, despite all evidence to the contrary. "YOU ARE UNDER CONTRACT, YOU INGRATES! I GRANT YOU YOUR HEARTS' DESIRES AND *THIS* IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!" The polarity had reversed completely, his black hole now little more than a stiff breeze to the spirit warriors opposing him. It shrunk even further, and Yinying along with it, until both had become three sizes too small for his liking. "YOU CUT THIS SHIT OUT *RIGHT* NOW OR NO MORE BENEFITS, NO MORE RAISES, AND LIN WONG, YOU CAN JUST *FORGET* ABOUT MATERNITY LEAVE!" Yet still his souls fled from him in droves, perhaps even faster now. Screaming in rage, Yinying's mouth and both of his hands began to glow purple. "YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU! ARE ALL! FIREEEEEEEEEEEED!" Three simultaneous blasts roared from Yinying and directly at Shen and Kai.
The resulting explosion was so massive that the desolate platform was destroyed completely, chunks flying every which way from a cloud of dust and debris. Yinying panted, trying to shake off both his anger and the drain of energy that had overtaken him. No longer could he give Godzilla a run for his money; now he was reduced to an even smaller form than he'd started with, and with but a few unshattered beads left to call upon. "HOW HUMILIATING. ALL THAT HARD WORK AND NOW I'VE BEEN DOWNSIZED? BUT NO MATTER. I CAN RECOUP THESE LOSSES. ONCE I CLAIM THOSE TWO MORONS, I WILL HAVE IT ALL BACK AGAIN!"
"Damn, I thought for sure he'd shut up after that. I guess I owe you twenty yuan, Shen."
Yinying froze, his mouth hanging open.
"I told you, fools like this never miss out on a chance to gloat. I know someone else like that I think you'd get along with."
He became aware of something else now. The sky around them was no longer a dark, oppressing purple. The sickly green that had pervaded the Spirit Realm for so long was back, except not quite as sickly anymore, and combined with a vibrant red. They shone brightly overhead, banishing the last traces of darkness from sight. It very effectively illuminated the scene of an apprehensive dragon demon and his would-be victims. Yinying looked back at the dust cloud as two figures floated out of it, each surrounded by an aura of their own color.
Most disturbingly, neither of them appeared the least bit afraid of him now. Instead, it was Hei Yinying who felt an uncharacteristic chill down his long spine. "WHAT *ARE* YOU?!"
Kai snapped his fingers in annoyance. "And that's another twenty for the cliché one-liner! You've really gotten this down, Shen!"
"More than I'd like to." Shen looked down at himself, briefly amused by the ability of true flight for the first time in his life. "Now then, I believe we all agreed to put an end to this. And that includes all of my new 'guests'."
Kai flexed his arms, even he astounded by this level of power. "Seriously, I've never felt my collectibles so intuned with me before. Probably because we all agree on something for once. They're giving me a neat idea too. Wanna see something cool?"
"As usual, Kai, I am way ahead of you."
Both spirit warriors rose a bit higher and concentrated. Their auras extended out and around them, forming new shapes to contain the awesome power they now wielded.
Shen's red aura took the shape of a much larger bird, one whose entire body seemed to crackle and burn like a fiery inferno. This phoenix peacock took on Shen's distinct crimson eyes and decorated tail feathers, but was otherwise indistinguishable from the bird of legend. He extended his wings and let loose his cry, shaking embers around him in the process.
Kai's green aura became a natural quadruped like him, with sharp claws, jagged horns, and a face that could terrify children. Among their other similarities, the nian also had a dislike of fireworks and a propensity for eating people, though Kai at least was becoming more tolerant of the color red as of late. He reared his head back and roared just to see if he could, the spirit aura following suit.
Yinying had not budged since this whole spectacle began, and now realized that perhaps he should have, for the two mortals he had mocked and manipulated for so long were now substantially bigger than him. If he still had a collar, he would be tugging on it very nervously right about now. "EH HEH HEH HEH...GENTLEMEN? LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING RASH. SURELY, WE CAN RESOLVE OUR DIFFERENCES THROUGH NEGOTIATION? I'M CONFIDENT WE CAN REACH A SETTLEMENT THAT WILL SATISFY EVERYONE."
"OH, WE'RE GONNA SETTLE THIS ALRIGHT," said Kai, admiring his new vocal upgrade. "AND IT'LL BE *VERY* SATISFYING!"
"YOU WANT THE FIRST CRACK AT HIM THEN?" asked Shen. "FINE, BUT MAKE IT QUICK."
Taking these words literally, the giant nian that was also Kai shot forward like a blur. "W-W-WAIT!" Yinying flinched, reflexively throwing up a shadow barrier to block him. He might as well have tried to block a flood with a wooden board for all the good it did him. Kai charged straight through the barrier and rammed into Yinying, throwing the dragon back until he hit another floating rock. Kai stopped in front of him and, mimicking the motions from inside the body, punched him repeatedly, knocking the demon's head from side to side. Dazed, he could do nothing to stop Kai from grabbing him by the horns and head butting him upwards, tearing them both off as he was catapulted away.
"ALRIGHT, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN. NOW IT'S MY TURN." Shen spread his fiery wings and took off after him. He struck Yinying in the side as he passed by, making the dragon corkscrew comically in mid-air while he took position above him. Shen clapped his wings, causing the phoenix to let loose a wave of fire that burned with the power of chi. Yinying gasped and flew higher to dodge it, but he wasn't fast enough to keep most of his tail from being incinerated clean off. Screaming in agony, he quickly blew out the flames on the stump that remained. "DON'T BOTHER HEALING THAT. NO NUMBER OF SOULS WILL FIX WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU." Yinying turned to face Shen, but he was no longer there. The phoenix was suddenly above him now, landing a vicious drop kick to his back that propelled him downward again.
Kai was already waiting for him. "TIME TO SHOW YOU HOW *I* TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS!" The nian lashed up and caught Yinying as he fell, bouncing him off of his back over and over again. After a few seconds of this sadistic rodeo, he bucked him away and kicked out with his hind legs, once again sending him into a rock. The sheer force of it wedged the entire top half of his body into the surface, leaving only his legs and stump tail sticking out of it.
Yinying grunted and tried in vain to pry himself free. "URRRGH! SHADOW ME, WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?! GET OVER HERE AND HELP!" Holding a briefcase in one hand and tipping a hat with the other, the shadow Yinying turned and sped off for wherever it was that shadows took a vacation. "FINE! I STILL HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES TO FINISH THIS!" There was another bright flash and a wailing of souls as Yinying's remaining reserves were used to restore his tail.
Shen was right there to grab it in his talons. "DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU." Holding on tightly, he took off through the air, violently ripping Yinying out of the rock and pulling him along for the ride. With the demon screaming all the while, Shen circled the Spirit Realm as he ascended, making no effort to avoid the many floating rocks and structures in his path. Or rather, making no effort to keep his passenger from crashing into all of them. He finally reached the apex of his climb and now started flying in loops, picking up speed with each rotation until he finally let go, launching the dark dragon as a kinetic missile.
Still screaming, Yinying first hit the table-shaped platform he'd created, smashing right through it as well as setting fire to the many contracts still floating there, then down into the ruined temple it came from, ruining it even further and continuing to plow through, until he finally managed to slow himself down. By now, he was covered in purple blood, had two broken horns, torn wings, a mangled tail, and was just barely keeping himself afloat. That's when he saw Shen and Kai charging in from both ends. He sighed. "I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE RETIRED AT 10,000…"
"NOW LET'S TAKE BACK OUR FUTURES!" they shouted together, simultaneously thrusting a flaming talon and a clawed fist into his chest. With a loud crack, what was left of Yinying's necklace now shattered completely, throwing his remaining souls every which way. Unsurprisingly, none of them stayed with Yinying, who was now shrinking even further. He screamed in rage, his booming, demonic reverb growing increasingly less so.
Shen and Kai had to pause just to stare in disbelief at the result. Yinying's original form was a dragon barely bigger than Po, and almost as chubby, with scrawny limbs, disproportionately small wings, and a high-pitched, squeaky voice. "back to square one! damn you! damn you both!"
It was remarkably hard to take him seriously anymore. Shen titled his head, and the phoenix did it with him. "MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M NEW TO DECENCY, BUT I STILL DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING MERCIFUL, NOT EVEN TO A CREATURE THIS PATHETIC."
Kai snorted green steam through his giant nostrils. "IT'S USUALLY NOT AS FUN TO KILL THOSE, BUT IN THIS CASE, I'M WILLING TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION."
"you fools! you think this is over?!" Yinying yelled, flailing his tiny arms at them. "go ahead and destroy my body if that's what makes you feel good, but immortals are not so easily disposed of! i will live on, and i will have my revenge!"
"YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT." Kai reached over and patted the dragon's head condescendingly. "UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING TO ANNOY US TO DEATH."
"have you forgotten? this is but one of infinite universes, with infinite possibilities! all i have to do is find a less noble shen or a more focused kai, and my plan will go off without a hitch! you've only delayed my inevitable rise to power, and i can wait an eternity for it! do you see now?! even if it takes until the end of time itself… i will get what is coming to me!" He burst into a long string of maniacal laughter. Shen and Kai looked at each other, trying to decide if they should just vaporize him anyway.
It was a problem that solved itself, for Yinying was so distracted by his own ego that he was completely oblivious to a blood red portal opening directly beneath him. He was not oblivious for long. A strange, eerie bell tolled from out of nowhere, bringing Yinying's laughter to an abrupt halt. His beady eyes slowly widened in horror. "oh no..." There was a low rumbling, and…something emerged from the portal.
It was some kind of black metal door. There were no adornments, no handles, no anything. It was just a smooth, metal sheet, separated in two by a small gap. The bell tolled again and the door slid open, the partitions moving aside to reveal a perfect square of impossibly crimson light. Nothing less than screams of eternal agony echoed from within it. "MR. YINYING!" a deep, commanding voice bellowed. "THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS WOULD LIKE A *WORD* WITH YOU!"
"d-d-director diyu!" Yinying stammered, drumming his claw tips together and flashing a very nervous smile. "your hellish aura looks quite dashing today, sir, if i do say so myself!"
"SILENCE! YOUR FOOLISH AND SLOPPY WORK IN THE MORTAL REALM HAS DAMAGED THE GOOD NAME OF DIYU SOULS INCORPORATED! THE BOARD HAS DECIDED THAT DISCIPLINARY MEASURES ARE IN ORDER!"
Shen and Kai just stood there, not sure what was going on, but enjoying it immensely.
Yinying backed slowly away from the gaping hell portal. "wait, i'm not being punished for trying to take over?"
"NO. YOU'RE BEING PUNISHED FOR DOING IT POORLY. THIS BUSINESS LIVES OFF OF TREACHERY AND WE HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD!" A hand that seemed to belong to a giant bull elephant shot out of the portal with immense speed. It was a shade of red only slightly darker than the portal itself, had sickly yellow fingernails the size of a mortal head, and was wearing some kind of black sleeve with a white cuff. Yinying gave a strangled gulp as he was snatched up by the fist. "YOUR FATE HAS ALREADY BEEN DECIDED! YOU WILL BE PUT UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF ETERNAL TORMENT DEPARTMENT SIX!"
Yinying gasped, looking around frantically as if trying to find some method of escape. "no! please! not department six! no! noooooooooooo!" He briefly locked eyes with Shen and Kai, and on the demon's face was an almost pitiful expression. "this isn't how it was supposed to happen…"
And then he was yanked through, his cries of despair growing further and further until they eventually faded completely. The door slammed shut, vanishing back into the ether with one last toll of the bell.
This left Shen and Kai still just standing there. There were a few moments of silence before Kai said what was on both of their minds: "WHAT. THE HELL. WAS THAT?"
Shen looked down at the place where the door had been, which left no evidence it was ever there in the first place. "EXACTLY."
"WELL, WHATEVER IT WAS, IT WOULD'VE BEEN *REAL* NICE BACK WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO EAT US."
"YOU HAVE JUST LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON IN DELEGATION: NEVER DO YOUR OWN DIRTY WORK IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO."
"YEAH, YEAH...AT LEAST THIS WAY WAS A LOT MORE EPIC."
"INDEED. I WOULDN'T GET USED TO IT THOUGH."
"WHY?"
On cue, their spirit forms shuddered and began to dissipate, the many souls that helped make it possible dispersing from their bodies. Shen and Kai were deposited onto one of the few solid platforms left in this area, looking up at the glowing orbs that floated away from them. "Aw, come on! I was just getting started with that mode!"
"Looks a bit like a fireworks show, doesn't it?" Shen asked, entranced by the sight like no fireworks show had ever done for him. "So...what are you going to do?"
"About what?"
Shen gestured to the fleeing souls. "By your deal with Yinying, you now own all of them. You could have all of that power back and more. You would probably just have to invoke demonic law at them or something to call them back."
Kai stared off at the horde of souls. After a few moments of contemplation, he nodded to himself and raised his hoof in their direction. It glowed brightly for a second...then died down. "I'll pass. Look how well all that demonic law stuff worked out for Yinying. Last thing I need is my own power turning on me like that. Screw it."
Or do you just not want to claim me as well? "What about the rest of your collection? Will you release them too?"
He frowned. "Let's not get crazy."
A familiar voice chuckled from behind them. "Do not worry, Kai, you have already proven much." The two spirit warriors suddenly found that they were no longer alone up here. Another master had just joined them.
The master. "Oogway?" Kai gasped. The old tortoise was standing before them, smiling at him like nothing had happened at all in the last five hundred years. Kai reflexively reached for his neck, remembering too late that Oogway's amulet had been lost to Yinying during the battle. So when Yinying's necklace was then destroyed... "Well, this is awkward."
"Very," he said cheerfully. "But that is not why I am here."
Shen, who had only heard stories about the legendary grandmaster of kung fu, was nonetheless awed by his presence. He shook it off quickly. "Then what do you want?"
Oogway just smiled and walked away, slowly, beckoning to them over his shoulder. "You wished to take back your futures, yes? I would like to discuss them."
Shen and Kai shared an uncertain glance, but with little room to object, followed after him anyway.
How's THAT for an epic-length chapter? The longest one in this story by far and we're still not done yet! Almost considered splitting this up, but that would be pretty cruel after already lengthening the story by one more chapter, so hope you enjoyed your new doorstopper. Definitely one of my favorite fight scenes, right up there with Po vs. Danzaburo at the end of Tournament of Legends. (Yes, after all that reading you just did, I'm now plugging another fic.) Be sure to let us know what you think. Next time we wrap things up and (hopefully) answer any remaining questions you have.
You've probably noticed the lack of a Born to Be Wilde update between these last two chapters. Simply put, this thing is so close to done that we're throwing caution to the wind and finishing it up. Hopefully, it won't take too long.