Chapter 24 – We should take a road trip
Dean dropped the girls off at school. He saw Lisa. He followed her to her class. He sat in a corner with his eyes closed until it was over. They went for tea. They just sat across from each other until they could see the bottoms of their cups. Then Dean started talking. Starting from the Vampire that bit him. The Amazons. The Leviathan. Purgatory. Benny. Kevin. Charlie.
Lisa stared into her cup. She asked questions to the cup as he talked and she had something to say. "So when you pushed my kid… our kid… you were saving his life? Saving him from you."
"Not calling was your way of giving me space?"
"You could fight those things but you couldn't let me remember? You couldn't tell me about Bobby?"
"Borox?"
"Like… Purgatory. Like in the… bible…"
"After what you almost did to Ben… you hook up with this Vampire… you bring him back here… Hm. Mm. Mmh."
"He was a kid. You were supposed to protect him. You and Sam have the most fucked up relationship and… You adopted that boy and you… Dean… When you turned all those Angels against you and you were hiding their prophet you should… well, done something different than what you did."
"I'm sorry about Charlie. I don't think I've seen you talk about anyone like that who wasn't family. Who wasn't… Sam."
Finally she picked up her head. "So, Emma… she was… two days old when she died?"
"Maybe three."
"Sam killed her."
"She was sent to kill me."
"And now she's 16…"
"Well, that's how old she looked when she died. I think Dad and Emma came back at the same time we showed up at Claire's with Adam. Dad was in a coma. I don't know where Emma was. She found Dad when he was coming back to Claire's with Erica. She was hungry, cold."
"Do you think she was telling the truth?"
"I think she wanted to be telling the truth."
"When she got here with your dad… she looked scared. All the time. I took her out but she let Erica do all the talking. That story you spun… it made sense… but the reality… why is she so scared?"
"She's scared her mother will find out she's alive again. She's scared that if we think she's going to hurt me, we'll kill her. She's scared of having another PTSD episode." Dean waved her off. "She can't kill me. She's relaxed a bit after I told her that."
"If she wanted to kill you, could she?"
"No. I can't die." Dean glanced around and then pulled his knife out. He cut into his hand and let it sit on the table between them. Within ten minutes, it was healed. He used a napkin to mop up the blood.
"What's that going to do to our baby?"
"I don't know. I don't know that it'll do anything."
"Will it have the mark? Like you?"
"No. It's… the way I got it…" Dean shook his head.
"Yeah, you said." Lisa took a deep breath. "Did you mean anything you said to me? Back then? At Caleb's. Here, before I knew…"
"Yes. I meant it. I didn't mean to do this. But I did and I want to be here."
"I don't think I could take it if we did this again and you left. Things are different now. We know more… about ourselves… about each other. Ben… was devastated when he realized that you left us and you're his dad. You're really his dad."
"I never wanted to leave him. Never." Dean felt his eyes overflowing. "I… I just didn't want to be the one to get him killed. I almost got you killed." He sniffed and looked away to blink away the wet, ignoring the streams running down his face. "I don't blame you if you don't want me here. If you don't want me around Ben…"
"You can't put this all on me. That's not fair."
"I will do anything you want. You want me here, great. You want me gone? Fine." Dean breathed and finally wiped a hand over his face. "Do I want to be here? Yes. Do I want to keep you all safe? Yes. Do I love you?" He looked at her. "I think I always did… am I dangerous? Yes. Can I control it? I don't know."
"If I tell you to go… where do you go?"
"Lebanon. Kansas… the bunker. Don't know if I'll take Emma with me. I should but that's no place for a girl to live. A child. Not one who… could still be normal… ish. She doesn't know what girls her age do. She just knows that she was trained to kill and if the Amazons find out she's still alive, they'll kill her."
"Ben likes her." Lisa sipped a glass of water. "She's his sister and he should know who she is."
"I agree."
"Well, then. We have a start… and I have a class in 20 minutes." Lisa stood and glanced around for the bathroom. Dean paid and tipped since they had spent so long tying up the table. The waitress scowled less when she saw the bill. Dean walked Lisa back to her class but left when she hesitated at the door, not giving him room to follow. Dean picked up some supplies and headed back to the house. He made a set of fake id for himself. He added labels to the cellphone collection on the living room table. Adam hovered so Dean made him a set as well. Then he taught Adam how to do it by making John three sets.
Eventually John made it downstairs. Dean just laughed at him and left to pick up the girls. Claire hopped into the car at the last minute. Dean shook his head at her. She shrugged. "If one of you boys found him some little blue pills, I'll kill you."
"I thought you loved him."
"I do love him. But I liked him better when he had a libido more befitting his age." Claire cleared her throat. "I've watched you all in the last little while."
"Yeah?"
"I know it's hard to… be expressive as a man. It's hard to show your emotions."
"What are you getting at?"
"I know that you and Emma are virtual strangers. I know that she tried to kill you. I know you both have PTSD of some sort… but you should hug the girl, some. Show her some affection."
"I do… I think."
"The way you talked about her. I thought there had been some relationship between you and now… I see that… most of it was in your head. In your grief. She's a person. She's real. She's… a little girl."
"But she's not a little girl. She's 16 or so… physically… Mentally… She's… already been trained as a killer. She's already had her childhood stolen and there's only a few years left for her to… pretend."
"She sees you with Erica and she's jealous." Claire took a breath "I'm not going to pretend to know what it was like with you and your dad when you were her age but I know it was different. I know he shows his love differently. I'm not saying you gotta be the poster family but you gotta find what works for you before she's too old to feel that you care."
Dean parked the car and sighed heavily. "It's awkward."
"I know."
"You seemed to care more about her when she was an idea than now when she's… lost. She's drifting. She's scrappling for something, anything… and she wants it from you."
"Claire!" Ben shouted as he ran across the parking lot with his baseball gear. "I have debate sign ups and I'm supposed to take my gear home but Mom's got classes all night."
"We'll take it." Dean nodded to him. Then he got out to unlock the trunk. Ben was standing there, fidgeting while Dean made sure nothing in the trunk would stab Ben's gear. Then it was just the two of them standing there. Dean quickly hugged Ben and let Ben race back inside to get to his club sign up. He was still standing beside the trunk when Emma came out, arms full of books and a boy trying to get her to let him help her. Ben shoulder-checked the boy on his way into the building. Emma laughed and kept moving. Dean took her books and tossed them in the trunk. "How was school?"
"It was okay." Emma shrugged.
"That kid bothering you?"
"Nah." Emma shook her head. "He's nice but… I've seen him around. If I give an inch, he'll expect a mile."
"I could cure him of that."
"Not worth it." She shook her head.
Dean repeated the action that he'd just done with Ben. Pulled her to him for a squeeze. "Anyone gets out of line, you just do as you were trained… well, don't… kill anyone but putting a face into the pavement doesn't really hurt a person."
She laughed and left him to get in the backseat. Dean took a moment and got back in so they could get Erica from her school. Erica was sitting on top of the swingset, dangling her legs… ignoring a teacher trying to get her down. Claire took a breath and rolled down a window. "Erica Reid!"
"Sorry!" Erica made a face before she leapt the ground to get her things and race to the car.
They drove to the gun range. The girls watched for a bit. Emma studied the guns for a long moment. Dean found one that fit her hand okay. They went over to a table and he taught her how to take it apart. How to put it back together. They went over to a stall and shot it a few times. She was a good shot. She could be great with some practice. Gun oil on their hands, they headed back. Dean stopped by Lisa's. Claire used her key. They left Ben's gear by the back door. At home, Adam and John were inhaling French fries. Dean ran over his inventory and thought about what kind of gun fit Emma's hand well.
Dean woke in the middle of the night. Erica was staring at him. "What?"
"She won't wake up."
Dean rushed up the stairs and found Emma thrashing. "Hey. Em. Hey." He lightly touched her shoulder and nearly lost an eye for his trouble. "Emma!"
The entire bunk bed shook with her movements. Dean grabbed her flailing hand and squeezed. "Emma."
She shrank back against the wall, yanking her hand back. It took a moment but her eyes started to cooperate. The panic subsided as she woke up. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's okay." Dean reached for her hand again. "Come on. Let's go downstairs and let Erica get back to sleep."
Dean walked with Emma downstairs. He waved off his father when he saw him checking on the ruckus. They sat at the kitchen table while Emma's heartbeat slowed down. Emma huddled close. Dean didn't ask. Emma didn't talk. Then he started humming and rocking with her. Emma sighed after a long moment. "I don't know that song."
"It's Hey Jude. By the Beatles." Dean rubbed her arm and kept humming. Her breathing slowed. "I barely remember my mother. I was so little when she died. You look like her. Probably why you got Dad on your side so quick." He hummed some more. "She never told my dad that she was a hunter. She lied to him the whole time they were married." He stroked her hair. "I only found out because… well… time travel is a bitch sometimes."
"Do you still love her? Even though she lied?"
"Yeah." Dean relaxed and realized he hadn't relaxed once since realizing Emma was among them. "I love my dad, too and he wasn't the best dad he could have been. He hit us, left us alone. He taught us to take care of ourselves and maybe he could have hugged us more or told us that we were doing a good job but… I don't think it occurred to him that people need to hear it, sometimes."
"What if I said that when I first started looking for you, I was going to kill you."
"I'd say that makes sense."
"When I woke up… I was… in the woods, alone. Bloody. I found a path and followed it. Town, I don't know where. I stole some clothes, cleaned up in a restroom at gas station. It was dark out. I didn't see the guy at first. Then he came at me. Guess he thought I was just a little girl. I killed him. Left him behind the dumpster. Took his money, bought some food and started walking. Next place I got to… Tacoma. I wanted to find my tribe but… I couldn't show up without proof. I didn't know where to start. I looked you up. Got your vitals."
"Then headed for Kansas."
"Yeah."
"When did you change your mind?"
"When I got my period in that motel. I was scared. I shouldn't have been. I'm not supposed to be scared of anything."
"Everybody and everything is scared of something." Dean shook his head. "Even the devil." Dean stared at her. "Being brave isn't the same as being fearless."
"It's not."
"Being fearless means you aren't scared of Death. There are no creatures that aren't touched by Death."
"Like you?"
"No. I'm scared but I know I can't die. I do what needs to be done even though I'm scared. I'm not sure that makes me brave but… it comes close." Dean rested his chin on her head. "Reckless is the word most people use." Dean shut his eyes and felt her small hands clenching and unclenching in his shirt. "I was gonna let you. I was so fucking tired of this life that I almost let you kill me."
The hands stilled.
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better." Dean sang softly. He could hear the tears in his own voice. "Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."
He could feel her tears soaking his shirt. "Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better."
Dean grabbed the bottle of whiskey. He took a swig and then handed it to her. She hesitated for a long moment but took a swig herself, coughed. Dean capped it and finished his song. "You know, you wouldn't be a Winchester if you weren't at least a little fucked up."
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Yeah, come on."
Dean shut the lights off as they went back to his air mattress. Adam was snoring on the couch. Dean rubbed Emma's back, up and down. Her breathing evened out a bit. "Will you sing it again?"
"Yeah. Relax. Everything's going to be okay." Dean sang over and over until he fell asleep. When he woke, he was cold. Emma had the blanket tucked around herself. He found himself waiting in line for the coffee. "Morning."
"Rough night?" John asked.
"Yeah." Dean could barely get his eyes open as he held his cup out.
"That's not a habit you want to start." John motioned to the living room.
"That's what I hear." Dean gulped the first scalding bit of coffee. "She's tougher than she thinks she is. She didn't say she died in Purgatory… we were there at the same time…"
"Bothers you?"
"A bit."
"What about your other kids?"
"See Ben after school sometimes. Lisa and I are… barely talking." Dean looked at his father. "What are you doing with Claire, Dad?"
"I think I gave you that talk when you were ten."
"Dad…"
"I know." John leaned on the counter and sipped his coffee. "She's the only thing that makes sense right now."
"She's… still got it bad for you and… if you hurt her again, I'll kick your ass."
"Does she?" John sighed.
"You know she does." Dean shrugged. "She's lived a decade since you last saw her. Erica's a great kid and… she's not keen on having you for a stepdad."
"No one's talking about that."
"You aren't."
"She's mad at you. Erica is."
"Why?"
"She wants you for a dad. And now you got kids everywhere and she's not one of them. She just wants me to be her grandpa."
"What am I going to do if she decides I can't be here?" Dean ran a hand over his face.
"You'll do what you can to make sure they're safe."
"Dad, can you just… be what Claire needs? Can you do that?" Dean held his hand up. "The reason you started hunting… that's gone. You… can be a person, now. Can you be… Claire's person?"
"I don't know."
"I was… Lisa's person for a year… I didn't deserve her. Still don't. I was… almost normal for a while. I miss it."
"I… never thought I'd be able to." John admitted. "I… love your mother."
"I know… but she's gone. She's… really gone." Dean took a breath. "I'm really glad she never had to see what I became. What we all became."
"Claire and I…"
"It's okay if you want to… It's okay if you don't want to… Just… don't hurt her again." Dean took his coffee back to the living room. "Come on. Emma, time to get up."
"Mmmf." She buried her face in his pillow.
"Time for school. Come on." Dean reached down and pulled the plug and her weight shot a good deal of the air out.
"Dean…" She whined.
"School." He repeated and yanked the pillow out from under her head.
Dean sat in the little office and felt like a kid again. Then he was in the room with the counselor and the paperwork. He took the list of items he was missing and didn't promise to get any of them. "Emma is a bit… odd."
Dean snorted but nodded. "Yeah. She is."
"She's very bright. She might have exceeded what we can do for her but she enjoys learning. She's… having trouble making friends. She's spending all her time with upperclassmen and I guess that's to be expected."
"Her brother. He's looking out for her."
"She has a brother at this school?" The counselor frowned and glanced down at the record.
"My dad didn't know when he enrolled her. I… uh… broke a lot of news to him the last couple of months. Benjamin Braedan."
"Oh."
"I'm not on his paperwork."
"We could um…"
"That's up to his mom." Dean shook his head. "Emma… her mom was… devout. It scared Emma. She didn't even know what her period was when she got it. I didn't think about it because I… don't make it a habit to raise children. My old man had to deal with it and he's never had to except when my mom was alive." Dean looked at the counselor. "She's stronger than she looks. She's… just… scared. Being here… it's good for her. She's getting to know Ben. She's got a couple of uncles to look out for her… My dad's girlfriend has a little girl… younger than Emma but they get along."
"Wow. So, she's having a bit of a culture shock."
"Yeah. We all are."
The counselor looked him over. "You didn't know any of this, did you?"
"Sorry?" Dean's head snapped up.
"Your world… exploded and now you have two children around the same age."
"Something like that." Dean nodded. "I'm… gonna try my best to… do right… now that I know."
"We can get counseling for Emma and Ben if he wants it… You need someone to talk to? I don't have those resources but we can ask around."
"I've got a good… support system." Dean waved her off. "My brothers, my father, his girlfriend. Lisa and I are… coming to an understanding."
"How about we… look into the resources… just in case?"
Claire emptied her pockets and did a count on her resources. She tallied her expenses and examined her house. Airbeds everywhere. Attic space that was barely liveable if she made some changes. Then she looked at the spaces. She could give up the dining room. Make that into a room. Dean would have a private entrance and his own space… then she sighed and put down her pen.
John found her with her doodles half done and with twinkie wrappers all around. He swept her hair off her shoulder and kissed her neck. She reached back and ran her hand over his stubble. "Strange how our roles changed."
"What's that?" John leaned on her chair.
"I used to keep you in bed all the time because I didn't know what else to do… and now… here we are but it's you who keeps dragging us back to bed."
"Complaining?"
"I'm out of practice." She kissed his hand and turned to look up at him. "I'm a mom, now. I need you getting along with my kid."
"We get along."
"John."
"I know."
"You can't treat my kid the way you treated your boys. You can't treat your boys the way you treated your boys."
"Adam's headed back to Kansas." John cleared his throat. "He's got a room all picked out. They've got a good setup there."
"You want to live there?"
"I want to understand… a man I hardly knew." John shrugged. "Sam's working on getting it all scanned onto that tablet thing but I do better with hard copy."
Claire smiled at him. "I'll be okay if you go. I've been alone a long time."
"I sleep easier with you."
"Passing out from physical exhaustion."
"I prefer passing out with you than punching a bag for hours on end." He motioned to the table. "What's this mess?"
"I started to restructure my house to accommodate Dean but I don't know what he wants to do."
"I don't think Dean knows what he wants to do."
"When I think about it… I just want to pack everyone up and take them to the bunker." Dean held his hands out. "But I know that won't work."
"Dean…" Lisa sipped her tea and leaned against the wall of the studio.
"I just want to keep everyone safe. I want to make sure Ben has someone to talk to about… men stuff and I got no clue what I'm doing with Emma." Dean sighed. "I know trauma. You know I do… I just… I got my dad telling me I shouldn't let her sleep with me but I think it's the only time she feels safe and… maybe I sleep better knowing she's right there."
"Are you sleeping?"
"For a few hours at a time."
"I'm not."
Dean stopped talking and almost reached for her but didn't. She sipped her tea and put a hand over her mouth for a second. Dean looked around and grabbed a trashcan. He set it down nearby. She recovered and grabbed her glass of water on the only table in the room. "You okay?"
"Morning sickness and not sleeping." She shook her head. "Then I go home and crave steak. I remember that from when I was pregnant with Ben but I wasn't so… stressed, I guess. I trusted you back then."
"Yeah I guess."
"I've been sorting through it all." She motioned to a notebook on the table. "I um… that demon that was inside me… it um… looked pretty hard through my memories to use something against you. I remember that." She looked at him. "What would it have done if it had known who Ben really was?"
"You saw what it did." Dean stared at his hands. "If… it would have hurt Ben. Killed him, probably."
"Why did I get to keep the memories of that weekend? But not those months with your friend?"
"Because I told you too much. Claire…" Dean sighed. "Castiel let you keep that because he knew I'd need you."
"Need me."
"I do." Dean nodded to his hands. "I do. I need you and… I never should have let…" He took a breath. "The danger that Sam put me in… that night that I went at Ben… fixing that took a long time and it was dangerous and… I… had to do things that I wouldn't have done if I had been with you."
"There's the whole thing. You and Sam…"
"We do things differently now. We're different people now. I… Dad's back. Adam's back. I hunt but… I got… I have tethers now. I have a life that isn't theirs. This is what I want."
"I know that Ben sees you after school." Lisa sighed. "I need rest, Dean. Tell me how I'm going to get that and pay my bills and take care of my son."
"Break's coming up. I want to take you all someplace."
Emma set the table and laughed with Ben over something one of their teachers had done. Dean served dinner. Lisa sipped water and soup. Spaghetti. It was simple enough to pull off. Lisa asked the kids about their day. Emma told a story about her counselor trying to "connect" that had ended with Emma explaining that she was raised on a commune, not under a rock. Ben burst out with the dance. "Last one before break."
"I don't know how." Emma shook her head.
"I can teach you." Ben proclaimed.
Lisa laughed and Dean sat up. "I've seen your dance moves, kid. She might be better off winging it."
"Dean." Ben whined.
"It's true. You got my dancing skills and I'm sorry." Dean slapped him on the shoulder. "Your mom can dance but she's been tired. We can do a dance jam at Claire's. I know she has moves and she might like a break from Dad."
"That's weird." Ben shrugged at him. "Does she really like him?"
"I know. It's disgusting." Dean grinned at his plate. "But they're both pretty happy."
"Mom says they dated a long time ago." Ben led.
"Dad was… obsessed with the demon who killed my mom. He was afraid it would kill Claire, too. So he left her. To keep her safe."
"That's shitty." Ben poked at his spaghetti.
"You're right and I told him as much when he did it." Dean shrugged. "I always thought she was good for him. He made up his mind and shut down the subject. Then I did the same thing… to this family. I left to keep you from getting hurt and then… put you in worse danger and then… I shut down the subject. You and your mom were off limits to anyone who knew. I'm just like him… only I took it a step farther and I took away your memories.
"Only one I haven't wronged here is Emma… but… she died and went to the one place I don't wish on anyone." Dean took a breath. "We should take a roadtrip. The four of us."
They left on Friday night after school. The kids skipped the dance. Dean packed up Lisa, Ben and Emma into the Impala with a cooler and some go-bags. Lisa remembered how to put one together. Emma had been living out of hers. There were a few roadgames. Dean pushed them to make it to the other side of Chicago before they stopped for the night. He would have rather drove straight through but Lisa had given him a look. He settled for getting a room in Rockford for the night. He'd seen the signs and just grinned at Lisa. She rolled her eyes and nodded then rolled her window down so she could get some fresh air.
Dean turned the air on and told the kids to get a hoodie if they were so damn cold. He sounded like his father. They got a double and a rollaway for the night in Rockford. They got settled while Dean picked up dinner. When he got back, Lisa was fresh from a shower and getting into bed. Dean got her some extra pillows from the office before they shut down for the night. Ben and Emma playfully fought over which terrible television show to watch. Ben took the rollaway. Emma got into bed and Dean got ready to sleep on the floor. Lisa looked at him with her eyelids drooping. "Get off the floor."
"Don't stay up too late. It's up at early-thirty for the rest of the trip." Dean warned as he got comfortable on his side of Lisa's bed. Felt Lisa's hand on his back. He had his eyes on the kids who were glued to some private eye show.
"Just go to sleep, Dean. They won't get into trouble if we go to sleep." She rubbed his arm.
Dean snapped off the light and settled himself. Rolled over to lay his hand over hers. He could hear them but he was looking at her. Her eyes closed and she rubbed her belly with the other hand. Dean wanted to but kept his hands to himself.
Dean shot up at the first scream. He scrambled out of bed and over to Emma by the second scream. By the third scream, he had her awake and resettling. Dean rocked her and hummed in the dark. "Sh. Just a dream. It's just a dream. I got you. I got you."
"I'm sorry." Emma gasped out.
"It's okay. It's okay. I got you."
Morning came too soon. Dean had a crick in his neck and his arm was asleep. He could hear Lisa throwing up. When he turned his head, he could see Ben rubbing his eyes on his cot. Lisa sank back onto her bed. "So much for early thirty."
"Yeah." Dean checked his watch and had to pull his arm out from under Emma to get at it.
"Ow." Emma complained.
"Shut up." Dean kissed her head and studied the watch. "Folks, we are looking at a seven hour drive if we do it my way or… 10 hours if we have to stop a lot. We'll probably come in at around nine given how last night went."
"Can we not eat breakfast in the car?" Lisa asked. "Or you know… any meals?"
"The smell, I'm sorry." Dean sighed and sank back. "Ben, get dressed, get the trash out of the car. Em, you get dressed and go get a deodorizer from the store on the other side of the motel. No scent. Got it?"
"Yeah." Em got up to get her bag.
"Lis… you're in charge of choosing breakfast." Dean shoved himself up. "You get out of bed, last."
"Okay." Lisa nodded and pulled her phone off the charger. She watched him move around and get them packed up. He handed items off to Ben and Em to go to the trash or into the car. Lisa got up to brush her teeth and her hair.
They all climbed into the car to get breakfast. Lisa ordered some fruit. Dean ordered an extra egg and pushed it over to her when it came. Ben showed Emma the best part of the breakfast menu. Pancakes with whipped cream.
Back in the car, Dean picked the music. Softer side of Led Zeppelin so that Lisa could doze. Dean drove but kept a hand on her foot, squeezing and massaging the ball. Ben and Emma played games together. By the time Lisa got hungry again, they were getting on each other's nerves. "Put your shoes back on, your feet smell."
"So do yours."
"Everyone's feet smell." Lisa told them. "Dean… steak."
"Got it." Dean pulled into the first local steak place he saw. He hoped Mason City could accommodate.
Emma frowned at them. Dean pulled her aside. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing… but…" She took a breath. "We do everything they want to do."
Dean nodded. "Yeah. Sorry. I just um… I'm trying to take care of Lisa and the baby. Lisa doesn't even like steak."
"Then… why?"
"Because the baby wants steak." Dean sighed. "She's a parent. She's taking care of someone who can't take care of themselves. She did the same for Ben. It's… what I'm doing. You need someone to take care of you. I have no doubt you can defend yourself but until you can sleep through the night and put food on the table yourself… you're mine to take care of."
"So, you don't even like me."
"Doesn't matter if I like you or not. I'm your father and I'm going to take care of you. It doesn't matter if you like me or not. I'll still take care of you." Dean looked at her. "Doesn't mean I don't care. Doesn't mean I don't love."
"I want a salad."
"I'm sure we can get you one. Come on. Pregnant lady trumps mouthy teenager." He kept his hands on her shoulders until they were seated. Emma found the salad she wanted then Lisa wanted that salad and a steak and a potato and then she was crying. Dean took a breath. "Okay, so… we got beer for me. Soda for the kids. Mom wants a tea, hot and a glass of ice. Kiddo number one wants chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and a side of carrots. Kiddo number two wants a salad. Mom wants a steak and a salad. I want a steak, a salad and two baked potatoes. You bring me all the fixings but put them on the side. Got it?"
"Yeah." The waitress nodded and walked off.
Dean looked at Lisa. "You eat anything you want, don't eat anything you don't want and we'll still make Sioux Falls by sundown and we'll survive."
"You can put your potato on this side of the table so it looks like it's mine." Emma offered.
"Thank you." Lisa stroked Emma's hair. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Dean told her. "This is a family and we got each other's backs, right?"
"Right." Ben nodded. "My carrots are for Mom, huh."
"Yep." Dean nodded and winked at Lisa when she looked relieved. "See, we got you."
After lunch, they walked around a shopping park and that let Lisa digest her lunch and have ready access to a dozen bathrooms. Then they were back in the car for another stretch. They pulled into Sioux Falls late. Lisa was starving again. Dean took them to eat at a diner. It was open late. The kids were animated from the food coma nap they had taken from Madison City.
Lisa ordered a BLT and a piece of pie. She shared her pie with Dean while they watched Ben and Emma look over the map on the backside of their laminated menu. Dean left them to get a couple of rooms and put a call in to Jody.
"Hey Kiddo, didn't think I'd hear from you so soon."
"Yeah. I probably should have called sooner, though. I got my family with me. We're in town for a… some… well, it's Spring Break."
"Yeah, here, too. So, I got two teenagers and a bunch of laundry."
"Me, too. Tomorrow maybe?"
"Sure, we'll do a cookout, tomorrow night. I'd like to meet everyone. See Sam."
"Yeah… I didn't bring Sam."
"You didn't."
"Just Lisa and the kids."
"Oh, the new family, then."
"Yeah." Dean cleared his throat. "I think we all needed some space and… Lisa and I are trying to work some things out."
"I'm not a marriage counselor."
"I just… it needed to be the four of us doing things together before… the next kid gets here and… you know about babies and kids and… teenagers. I mean… we're doing the family vacation bit but…"
"You thought Lisa might want to talk to another mother."
"Something like that." Dean blustered. "I'm not saying talk me up but… show her… that the girls are okay even… with everything."
"Well, she'll come and she'll see. I'm not going to sell anyone."
"Okay."
"Dean, you okay?"
"Well, a 12 hour drive took two days. I've got a former Amazon with PTSD and teenaged hormones, I've got a teenage boy with daddy issues and stinky feet and I've got a pregnant woman who hates my guts and we're all trying to be a family."
"I'll see you tomorrow, kid." She laughed and hung up.
Dean took them all to the rooms. Emma looked stricken when she realized that she had a bed to herself and Dean would be in another room. Lisa took over and got the kids settled while Dean got Lisa's bags to the room they had next door. When Dean went in to say goodnight, Emma followed him outside and pleaded with him not to leave her alone. Dean tried not to snap at her. "You're not alone. Ben's in there. If you have a nightmare that wakes him up, he'll wake you up. You got this. They are just dreams."
He took her back to her bed and told them both good night. Then he was up half the night listening for a bad dream. Lisa fell asleep clutching his arm so he couldn't leave her. When Lisa woke in the morning, she stared up at him. "It's hard the first night, when you want to go to them and hug them and hold them and make it all better but they have to learn to go back to sleep on their own."
"It's not just nightmares… the things that give her those nightmares… I have them in my own head and I wasn't there nearly as long as she was."
"I know but she's… almost grown. She's not a little girl. Please don't make me say it out loud."
"Kay, got it." Dean nodded. "I should…"
"Check on her? No. Go shower and when you're done, I'll start my beauty regime and you come get me when they're all dressed and ready to go. We still need to stop by the store."
"Why?"
"How soon they forget." Lisa patted his arm. "Because it's polite to bring things to a party."
"Right. Right." Dean sighed. "Getting dressed."
Dean got hot water and remembered not to use it all. He was standing in the room in a towel and trying to find something to say to her. Lisa looked up at him. "Dean? Clothes?"
"Yeah, I'm… I just… thank you for… all this. I know it's… pretty much the last thing you want to be doing right now."
"Dean, clothes? Put them on."
Dean tilted his head at her. "Oh, I see. The visual too much? Can't keep your hands to yourself?"
She pushed passed him to the bathroom.
Dean had a bit more pep in his step as he got dressed and got the kids up and ready. Emma was mad. The kids got dressed while Dean tried to remember where the grocery store was. Emma pouted and glared. Dean took her for a walk while they waited on Lisa. "Dreams?"
"Yes."
"Did you wake up?"
"Yes."
"Did Ben?"
"No."
"And you went back to sleep?"
"Eventually."
"How?"
"I put your song on Ben's phone. He was mad the battery was drained this morning."
"Okay. We'll get you a phone of your own." Dean sighed. "You made it through the night. You'll be fine."
"You gonna leave me with Claire?"
"No." Dean shook his head. "That's not the plan. I don't… have much of one but… no." He led her back to the car. "If something happens and I have to leave, you'll be okay. I'll make sure but… I don't plan on leaving."
"I don't like being alone. Last time I was alone, I went out to kill you and I died. Then I went to Purgatory. Alone."
"Most people are alone. They live." Dean told her. "Right now… you're not alone. You got me. You got Ben. That's a family. Add in an awesome Pop-pop and two uncles. You're drowning in family." Dean spied Lisa looking for them. "And you got Lisa… even if I'm not there… I'm sure Lisa will be."
"I'm not hers."
"No, but you're mine." Dean waved to Lisa and turned to Emma. "She's mad at me right now but she agreed to come because I said it was important… for all of us. You see. She has faith. She trusts… even if she's mad."
They took the long route to the store. They stopped in for some smoothies to hold them over. Dean let Emma pick his smoothie out. It was good even if it was full of plants. Then he steered the cart while Lisa directed the course around the store. Ben took Emma to the one video game in the store and taught her to play it.
Dean watched Lisa rub the bump that was barely showing under her top. "You been to a doctor? A real one?"
"Yep. Once I got a hold of my old gyno, she recommended someone. Seems nice. We've got a due date and no doubt that this is your baby. Kid moved all over the ultrasound screen, the doctor had to do a fair bit of chasing." Lisa explained as she grabbed some steaks and a few chicken breasts. "I need to make banana pudding."
"Cookies and pudding. Got it. Bananas are over there." Dean nodded.
When Lisa was satisfied, Dean pulled out cash and he could hear Lisa breathe out softly. "You okay?"
"Fine."
She did it again when they were back in the car. She slapped a hand over her mouth and rolled down the window. Dean cleared his throat. "Just… the baby… moving… a lot."
"Ok." Dean turned the air up and moved the vents around. They pulled up to Jody's around noon and Dean unloaded the groceries. Jody ticked up an eyebrow. "What?"
"You came with food. Usually you just come to eat food." Jody took one of the bags.
"I brought my better half and she's a lot more personable than I am." Dean bopped the kids as they marched in with more bags. "Sherriff Jody Mills. This is Ben Braedan and Emma… we're going with Winchester for the moment. And this… lovely, patient and caring woman is Lisa Braedan."
"Oh, she's the…" Jody trailed off. "Nice to finally meet you all. Alex is upstairs and Claire is outside… trying to shoot her eye out."
"Dean, go start the grill. My smoothie is wearing off." Lisa motioned. "If I could commandeer your kitchen, I'm making pudding and Ben is going to teach Emma how to make my mother's salad."
"You brought a team of chefs. I got it. I like it." Jody led them all through to where she was marinating on the counters and boiling on the stove.
"His children love to eat and that makes me eat, while I'm carrying them." Lisa made a face. "I'm not 22 anymore. This one's going to change me."
"Honey, having a baby changes you. Period." Jody reached for a bottle of wine. "I'm sorry I can't share this with you."
"I do know that. There were poses I did in my seventh month with Ben that I haven't been able to do since he was born." Lisa sighed and looked around. "You have a lovely home."
"Thank you. The girls haven't managed to destroy it yet."
"How are they?" Dean cut in.
"Claire is… Claire but she's getting better… now that she and Alex are more… alike." Jody took over some of the prep as she helped to unload the bags. "Alex has classes in the fall and she's looking forward to it."
"Are they hunting?"
Jody tilted her head at Dean. "Claire does. She's more careful than she was last year. Sometimes Alex helps. To give her backup. I go over the plan before they move on it. I help if it's… too big."
"I don't want any of the kids hunting but… I might not have a choice about it." Dean cleared his throat. "Emma is a natural born hunter. Her mother… well. She got better genes on that side than she did from me."
"I don't know about that. She's the spitting image of you, Dean. Betcha she's just as smart."
"She is." Lisa nodded. "She's… she was behind when she started school but she's… outpacing everyone."
"Should I not do that?" Emma looked to Dean.
"You be smart. Fuck everyone else." Dean squeezed her shoulder.
"Good answer." Jody told him. "See. This isn't that hard."
"I can say… be smart, be brave… but then I got to handle those… eyes she gives me when she wants something… don't pretend you don't do that." Dean pointed at Emma. "You got them perfected on Pop-pop before I even got back."
"Pop-pop is easy." Emma chopped up a pile of carrots. "If I even look like I'm going to cry, he's shoving money and twinkies at me."
Dean laughed. "How much have you taken him for so far?"
"Grand." She shrugged. "I was freaked out by myself in the motel but he was triple freaked out."
"No wonder he's been hiding upstairs." Dean shook his head and took the beer when it was offered. Then he shrugged. "But Dad always loses his cool around pretty blondes. They're his kryptonite."
"How's your brother?" Jody asked.
"He's nerding it up at home. He's got Adam with him. We think Adam's Men of Letters material. Not hunting… and Dad would never forgive us if we let him."
"Ain't that always the way with the baby of the family." Jody shook her head. "I've been rolling all that stuff in my head and it blows my mind. Everyone's back…"
"Nearly everyone." Dean nodded. "If Mom's back, no one's seen her. Ellen and Jo aren't around. I think Kevin and Charlie would have called by now."
"Well, any blessing, right?" Jody looked Ben over. "God, this kid looks just like you."
"I'm told I was pretty goofy looking at his age. He's ten times smarter than I was at his age, too." Dean looked him over. "Wears his heart on his sleeve a bit more obvious than I did at that age."
"What?" Ben looked up from his tearing of lettuce leaves.
"Not a bad thing. Least girls will be nice to you because you're nice to them." Dean advised.
"Heartbreaker, huh. And the girl?"
"Not interested." Emma proclaimed.
"A girl who knows her own mind." Jody nodded Dean to the back door. They got the grill going and Claire ignored them from where she was sharpening a collection of knives. "Claire, we have guests."
"So."
"Hey." Dean walked over. "Make sure you're stroking away from yourself or you'll… get more cuts."
"Thanks." Claire sighed and adjusted her tools.
Jody looked to Lisa when Ben disappeared outside after Dean. "How you doing, sweetie?"
"Hanging in there." Lisa rubbed her belly. "When I'm not starving, I'm nauseous. It's a little harder on me than it was when I was 22 and stupid."
"Oh to be 22 and stupid again." Jody sipped her wine. "You are not what I expected."
"No?"
"I've known Dean a little while and… you know what… no. You make sense. Everything else I've seen him do is the… opposite of what I see here. I bet you don't put up with his nonsense. Making him sleep in the doghouse, running him ragged with errands and… there he goes after you… which is what he doesn't do… for anyone."
"Well, we have a… complicated history."
"Doesn't everyone." Jody took a seat and took a breath. "I lost my son before I met Dean. I met Dean when the dead started rising. Bobby Singer…. You know Bobby?"
"We met him." Lisa nodded. "He was a good man."
"Bobby and the boys had to… help put them all back to rest. It was… traumatizing and some part of me died that day." She tilted her head at Lisa with a sad smile. "Alex and Claire have their problems but I'm glad to have them. I wouldn't have them if it weren't for Sam and Dean."
"You hunt?"
"Not by choice. Things… sometimes fall in my lap and I usually call one of them for back up. Sometimes one of the girls will… Alex stumbles onto things. Claire finds them."
"But you feel safe?"
"Yeah, not a lot going on in Sioux Falls but I guess we had Bobby to thank for that."
"Claire… my friend, Claire. She did… the same for Battle Creek, I guess. Once I got my memories back, I recognized the… sigils."
"Pop-pop is teaching me about sigils." Emma cut in. "Well, he was."
"What happened?" Jody asked. "Why'd he stop?"
"Dad came home with Claire." Emma made a face. "I'm grossed out for life."
Lisa laughed and moved over to rub Emma's shoulders. "John and Claire are… making up for lost time."
"I only got a little bit from Dean and I think it's gonna be juicy." Jody pulled out a chair for Lisa. Then she looked at Emma. "Unless… it's too much for her."
"I already know too much about Claire and Pop-pop. They're not quiet." Emma pulled a face.
"Oh, no. Do they wake up Erica, too?" Lisa sipped her water.
"No… but maybe that's my Amazon hearing."
"How you like sharing a room with Erica?"
"She kicks if we share a bed and I have nightmares when I'm on the bunk." Then she made a face. "Dean's going to buy me a phone so I can have that song he sings me."
"Dean sings to you?" Jody grinned.
"He said his mom used to sing to him." Emma nodded.
"He's got the hang of this. I don't know why he thought he needed pointers."
"He's scared." Emma whispered. "That everything will go wrong. And he'll have to be alone."
"He tell you that?" Jody asked softly.
Emma shook her head. "I watch him when he's… stuck in his head. He paces and wrings his hands and then he goes out. Sometimes he goes to Lisa's and sometimes… everyone gets worried about him. He's better when he just goes to Lisa's or when he's playing with us. When he's… happy… as I've ever seen him."
"I don't think I've ever seen Dean happy. Truly happy." Jody mused.
"I have." Lisa took a breath as she ran a hand over her belly. "The weekend we made Ben. He was… happy. I think he's been happy since then but that was the happiest I've ever seen him."
"How old were you all when that happened?"
"I was 22… and Dean… I think… was 19… pretending to be 21."
"Sounds like a Winchester." Jody snorted. "When I met the boys… I… hated this knowledge I had but… you build a network. I met Bobby through his drunken raves at the bars. I met Rufus through Bobby. I met the boys through Bobby. Zombies, Okami, Leviathan, time-traveling gods, King of Hell, dragons, Vampires… teenage girls. I wouldn't trade it, though. We do okay." Jody looked up when Alex stumbled down the stairs. "Alex, come on. Join the party."
"Are we getting another sister?" Alex gestured to Emma.
"Emma Winchester… Dean's daughter." Jody motioned.
Alex laughed. "Good luck, kid."
Lisa rested her hands on her stomach after she had demolished a steak and a half, two sausage links, Dean's first helping of potato salad and a pile of salad. Dean handed her a bowl of pudding and took a seat next to her. She took the bowl and rested it on her stomach. "Jody's good people."
"Told you." Dean nodded. Ben was having a good time with the girls. He hit balls to them and they tried to catch them. Emma was catching on pretty fast and she was quicker than Claire, who had gone competitive on them. Alex was a good sport and went after the wayward balls they missed.
Dean watched as the game dissolved into four teenagers sitting in the grass talking and laughing. Watched Claire braid Emma's hair. He listened to Lisa explain her adventures with him to Jody. Jody laughed, she went quiet, she threw empty cups at Dean. Lisa got up to pee and Jody looked Dean over. "You really love her."
"I'm not sure it'll be enough but… I don't feel the mark as strong."
"When did you get that back?" Jody asked him.
"What?" Dean looked at her.
Jody leaned forward and yanked his sleeve up. "You… you got rid of that thing… last year."
Dean struggled for the memory but couldn't find it. "How did you know?"
"Reading between the lines but I understood things were getting really bad… is that why you have it back?"
Blank. It was all blank. "I only… remember parts of last year… and I didn't even remember not having the Mark."
"You step in the weirdest shit, Dean." Jody tipped her bottle back into her mouth. "She keeps you calm though?"
"For the most part. We've been… she remembered everything and it… rightly, put her out. I've been in a proverbial doghouse and it has sucked but… we've started talking. Going slow… glacial comes to mind. Maybe someday she'll even sleep with me again."
"I thought you had the kiddos stashed in their own room."
"For… sleep training." Dean motioned slightly. "Emma has nightmares and I've been sitting up with her and now she hardly sleeps unless I'm there… Lisa found out and…"
"I see. That's why Emma's mad at Dad. So… sleeping arrangements?"
"She let me have half the bed, I ended up on the far end clinging to a sheet."
"Progress, then."
"It was just so I didn't sneak off and watch over Emma."
"Okay." Jody grinned at him. "Hey… you said everyone was getting their memories back. Maybe you're on the list to get yours back."
"I'm sorry!" Emma shouted as she scrambled to her feet and ran into the house.
Dean leapt to his feet and stared after her for a moment, then he strode over to the other kids who were bewildered. "What the hell just happened?"
"We were just hanging out and…" Ben looked to Claire who looked pale.
"She… tried to kiss me." Claire whispered. "I wasn't ready or else I would have noticed…"
"She was staring at Claire a little bit." Alex offered. "I think she… might be… I saw her and I… it didn't click… I don't think she knew what she going to do… til she did it."
Dean walked into the house to find Emma crying in a corner and Lisa standing in the hallway. Dean moved passed Lisa and approached quietly. "Em?"
"I didn't mean to do it."
"It's okay. No one's hurt."
"I'm disgusting."
"No. Embarrassed… be surprised if you weren't… you… like… Claire?"
"I…" Emma wiped at her eyes. "I don't know."
"Come on… Come out." Dean got his arms around her. "You're not a freak."
"I just… I was watching her and she's… I want to be her."
"No, you don't. She's got problems just like you." Dean squeezed her tight. "Maybe you like her and maybe you just want to be like her but… it's okay. She was startled. She doesn't want to kiss you and that's okay. Loads of people want to be kissed by a pretty blonde."
"Dean, is she okay?" Claire called into the room.
"She'll be fine." Dean called over his shoulder.
"Can I take her upstairs and talk to her?"
"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." Dean let Emma go and she was shaking her head at him. "Hey, she knows more about girls than I do. Go."
Dean watched as Claire took Emma's hand and dragged her upstairs. He went back outside to rejoin everyone else. Ben and Alex were talking quietly out in the grass. Lisa and Jody looked at him expectantly. "Claire's going to…"
"Claire moves fast. You sure you want her explaining social graces to your daughter?"
"I mean… I know shit about girls… I know even less about lesbians."
"She might not be, Dean. She's… figuring it out." Lisa sighed. "And she doesn't know one way or the other. Lots of girls go through it."
"Did you?"
"No." Lisa shook her head. "I mean… for a few weeks in an ashram I thought I could but I could never get past second base."
"How much time did you spend on second base?" Dean stared at her.
"Nipple play. That was fun." Lisa shrugged.
"I had a girlfriend in the academy. Turns out we were just friends and she was the only girl that I would even think about that way. In every way else… I like men." Jody told them, her eyes on the sky.
"Okay." Dean held his hands up. "Straight, lesbian, bi-curious… she's my kid." He sighed "I wish Charlie was here. She'd know."
It was late when Dean called upstairs for Emma. Ben was tired. Lisa was cranky and Emma came down with a sheepish look on her face. Ben went to the room to go to bed the second they hit the hotel. Lisa went to get a bath. Dean sat with Emma in his room and she stared at her hands. Emma didn't look up. "It was impulsive."
"You might get that from your old man." Dean told her. "I did more stupid stuff when I was your… apparent age, than most people get around to in a lifetime. It happens. You kiss someone you didn't mean to kiss. It could have gone worse. You could have realized it was a mistake but then the other person was totally in love and it lead to a three week roller coaster that ended up with your second sexual experience being with someone who disgusts you and then you feel all sorts of shame… Sorry… I just... have done… a lot of stupid things because I am impulsive."
Emma picked at her nails. "I… Claire said it was probably just a girl-crush. Said that they can get intense but that… most of the time… they're just… crushes. I think… she's pretty. I just… wanted to kiss her."
"Okay. I guess I can see that." Dean cleared his throat. "It's okay, you know. It's embarrassing but that'll blow over. Claire doesn't hold grudges like that. She's… cool." Emma made a face at him. "I know. I'm old."
"How do you know if someone likes you back?"
"You just do." He shrugged. "When I met your mom, we… used a lot of tells. I read her, she read me. We both knew we were going home with someone."
"She planned that."
"I know but I did, too. She wasn't as interested in follow up as I was used to but we both got what we wanted out of it. Would have been fine if she wasn't an Amazon looking for baby juice."
"That's gross."
"Yeah, well, what are you going to do?"
"How did you know Lisa was…"
"Which time?" Dean shrugged out of his jacket and settled in. "I was in a bar. I saw her when I was getting a drink. She was laughing at something someone said and that smile held my attention. Made me smile. She caught me at it. I bought her a drink as an excuse to get close to her. We had some fun talking and pretending to dance. I offered to drive her home… and when I was supposed to be opening the car door for her… I made my move. I kissed her and she kissed me back."
"Then you made Ben?"
"I guess so. Lisa and I… spent the weekend doing things that would make Ben. I… didn't really want to leave."
"Why did you?"
"I was on… vacation. I told my dad and my brother I was going to see the sights of fives states in five days… I never made it to the third state. I spent my off time with her and then… I went back to my real life."
Emma picked up her head. "Why did you stay? As long as you did?"
"I stayed as long as she let me before I had to go. I meet women all the time. I usually don't care about the next day. Lisa… had something in her eyes that… touched me. I could see and feel her smile and it was real but there was… sadness, maybe, in her eyes. I didn't know at the time but her dad had died and she was hurting. Doing crazy things. It was hard to leave. Her eyes… they were changing… just a little bit. More sad coming in. More… hope… settling in and… that wasn't a time where I was good with hope."
"How did you know it was… love?"
"I didn't. Still don't. Someone told me that Lis and I got shot by an arrow that first night. We're… soulmates or… something. So, I guess it is… love. I just… I've never been good with those kinds of things. After Lis… I dated this… journalism major for two weeks. I thought that was love… it wasn't. It was… intense but it wasn't love." Dean sighed. "There was this other time… I fell for a girl and she had problems… big ones and every time I saw her… I got weak in the knees… then she tried to kill my brother… then she tried to kill my mom. And… then she was dead."
"You got weak in the knees for some girl?"
"She was… an Angel… but she wasn't when I was falling for her. She was um… fallen. Then she got her mojo back and I wasn't so interesting to her anymore. She… didn't have her feelings anymore."
"She didn't feel for you anymore?"
"Angels don't have… emotions like humans do. She still… felt something but it wasn't the same. We had a… connection but it was over the moment she decided my family had to die."
"It sounds messy."
"It is."
"Then… what's the point?"
"Hope. Everyone's got a little bit inside and that's the optimistic take on it. People are lonely and miserable. Sometimes they get to meet someone so that they can be miserable together. I like Lisa and how my life goes when she's in it… so long as I'm not really hunting."
"My face is still hot." Emma touched her skin.
"It'll fade. You need to go take a shower and cool down and get to sleep." Lisa walked out of the bathroom in a robe. "It probably won't feel as big in the morning."
"She's right." Dean nudged her knee.
Emma got to her feet and turned before she got to the door. "If… I am… someone who…" She took a breath. "If it's not just crushes on girls… if I really… want to… with girls… can I still stay with you?"
"Emma…" Dean took a breath. "You're stuck with me. If you're gay, if you're bi, if you're into furry porn… um… I don't care… I don't necessarily need the details of what you decide other than you've figured it out but being into girls is not the worst thing in the world. One of my very favorite people was a lesbian. She was smart and kind and was turning into a hell of a hunter. She was like family… You are my family. Go to bed."
Emma's face was so still when she slipped out, Dean almost got up to go after her. Lisa sat in the spot Emma had vacated. She stared at him. "That was hard and you did it."
"I got like… seven voices in my head trying to tell me what to do and say and I don't know if it's coming out right."
"Welcome to fatherhood, Dean." Lisa stared at him. "I haven't forgiven you but… I'm beginning to understand you a bit better."
"Jody remembers a bit of last year that I can't… I have to call Sam."
Lisa gave him a look. "Do it outside."
Dean nodded and got her arranged on the bed with her pillows and blanket. She let him give her belly a rub before he took his cellphone outside. He stared at the phone for a long time before he dialed.
"Dean. It's late." Sam yawned.
"I have some info about our missing time. They didn't get everyone."
"No?"
"Jody saw us in the last year… says I didn't have the mark and that things were getting really bad."
"She say how we did it?"
"Don't think we told her… so it must have been fucking bad."
"Well, fuck. Any other news?"
"Emma thinks she might be a lesbian."
"What the hell is going on in Sioux Falls?"
"I don't know."
"Did you tell her that it didn't matter to you if she was?"
"Something like that… since when are you on Team Emma?"
"Since… it looks like you're going to pull this off. I think… we shouldn't hunt together anymore. I'm going to keep looking and… you're going to keep wondering but… we shouldn't."
"Thanks, Sam… for… understanding."
"If… I woke up to have an instafamily… you might not let me… So… I'm glad it's you."
TBC