Author's Note. At the end of the last chapter everyone was in a pretty good place. That changes here. When this chapter begins approximately 6 weeks have passed since Valentine's weekend. Be warned, the character death I warned about happens in this chapter. While you were warned about that, and I gave hints to some people who sent me a personal message, I was not completely honest. While there is only one death in this chapter, I made no promises about collateral damage. Please enjoy and be prepared to possibly cry.

The last Friday in March of 2011 was dragging for Sam Puckett. She sat in her sixth period history class bemoaning the slowness of the clock and missing Derek. Mr. McKrell was going on about the Treaty of Versailles and Sam could not care less. It was the last day of school before spring break and she wanted nothing more than for the final bell of the day to ring. Just two more periods to go, she thought.

Sam gazed out the window and let her thoughts drift to Derek, as they often did. His parents were going on vacation Sunday and would be gone for the first week of Ridgeway's two week spring break. With some reluctance they agreed to let Derek stay by himself at home that week with Louisa keeping up with the housework and cooking. It was left unsaid, but understood by everyone, that if Derek had any trouble he could go to Louisa.

Sam was not worried about Derek; she knew he could take care of himself. What she cared about was being able to spend most of those nights alone with him at his house. Since the night they had spent alone together Valentine's weekend, where they did not wind up "going all the way", their relationship had grown even closer. Sam knew that Derek had wanted to have sex with her, and she had been willing, but had grown too nervous and insecure at the last moment and changed her mind. Derek had had every right to be furious with her but he was not. He simply told her that when she was ready then he would be ready. Sensing the insecurity she was feeling, he instead made love to her in other ways; ways that made her feel better about herself as well as giving her the most intense sexual gratification. She had, of course, pleased Derek as well and since that night they had continued exploring different ways of pleasing each other that did not involve intercourse whenever the opportunity arose.

Sam was hoping an empty house and no school for an entire week would give her and Derek ample study time together. She was also thinking she might be ready to finally surrender herself fully to Derek. She was thinking about telling him that night, they were supposed to watch movies with Carly and Freddie. She was extremely deep in thought mulling over exactly how to tell him when her Mr. McKrell's voice intruded sternly.

"Sam Puckett, are you with us?" Mr. McKrell repeated more loudly, his voice seemingly laced with a tinge of anger over having his lesson interrupted.

"Yes, I'm here." Sam gave her full attention to her history teacher.

"Principal Franklin is here to see you. He says it's important."

Sam got up from her desk and gathered her books and materials. Carly was in the same class and gave Sam a look that asked what she did now. Sam shrugged as she hurried out the door to the waiting principal. She couldn't think of anything she had done that could get her into any trouble with the school.

Principal Franklin's tone was serious and a bit somber. "Sam we need to go to my office. Something has happened and we need to talk."

Sam did not know how to answer that. Without any further words she began following Principal Franklin down to the first floor and the school's office suite. She was curious to know what business was so important that it warranted having the principal himself come for her. She sensed that asking about it wouldn't help so she resigned herself to being surprised once they reached his office.

It wasn't long before Sam and Principal Franklin entered his office to find Roberta Garner, the Puckett's next door neighbor waiting for them. Sam was surprised; Roberta was probably her mother's only friend who did not come with a bottle or glass of alcohol permanently attached. Whenever Mrs. Puckett's drinking got out of control Sam could go next door to Roberta's for a meal or to hang out if Carly wasn't a viable option. Sam thought of her as another aunt, one who was far more responsible and caring than most members of the Puckett clan.

Sam was about to say hello and ask what she was doing there when she looked closely at Roberta's face. She had obviously been crying and she had a grim look etched on her face. It dawned on Sam why Roberta must have been there. "Something's happened to Mom, hasn't it?" Sam thought that any number of bad things could have happened to her mother; she was an alcoholic and alcoholics were nothing if not accident-prone.

Principal Franklin took a half-step back and let Roberta take the lead. "Sam, dear, you need to sit down." Sam sat down on one of the two guest chairs in the office. This must be bad, she thought, mom must be seriously hurt or even dead. Sam was pondering why that thought did not upset her more when Roberta continued, "Sam, something has happened to Melanie. I'm so sorry, but Melanie died."

That was not what Sam expected to hear; her mother was supposed to be hurt or deceased, not Melanie. "What? Melanie is….dead? What happened?"

Roberta knelt down in front of Sam, "I got a call from your aunt in Spokane, Melanie's school called her when they could not reach your mother. Melanie did not show up for work at the library this morning; around 9:00 someone went to her dorm room to see if she was ok. The building manager let her into Melanie's room and they found her in bed. At first it appeared she was sleeping but when they tried to wake her they could tell she was not breathing. They attempted CPR and called the paramedics but it was too late. An autopsy is being done today, but they don't know yet why she died. It does appear, though, that she died peacefully in her sleep."

Sam didn't know what to do, she couldn't believe it. Melanie dead? How could she be dead, she was 16 years old. Healthy 16 year old girls just did not die all the sudden. Sam's breath grew ragged; she felt herself filling with various emotions. She was trying not to cry, she did not want either Principal Franklin or Roberta to see her lose control of her emotions. "Principal Franklin, could you please get Derek Chambers for me? Please, I need Derek, I think he's in…I think he's in…I'm sorry I can't remember. Please."

"It's ok Sam, I'll send for Derek now." Principal Franklin left the office to have one of the aides there page Derek. He walked back to his office to find Roberta still keeling in front of Sam.

"Are you ok sweetie? Your mother's at home now with my husband. Your aunt is on her way from Spokane now."

Sam nodded her head yes. She was not going to let them see how much she was hurting. Even if they could guess, she wasn't going to show them. She just had to hang on until Derek got there; Derek would take care of her. It wasn't long before he entered the office. He knew what had happened, Principal Franklin had seen him approaching and told him just outside.

Derek was certain Sam needed to let her emotions out but wouldn't do it in front of anyone else if she could at all help it. He looked at Roberta and then to Principal Franklin, "Ma'am, sir, could you please leave us alone for a few minutes?" Principal Franklin nodded and he and Roberta left quietly.

Sam could no longer keep her tears at bay; they started flowing freely down her cheeks. "Melanie….Melanie's…." Sam couldn't get the words out.

Derek kneeled in front of Sam and took her into his arms. He held her close wishing he could it make it all better for her. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry Sam."

Sam's crying turned to uncontrollable sobbing; her grief could no longer be contained. "Why? Melanie never hurt anyone. Why did she have to die?"

Derek continued to hold Sam as her tears began staining his shirt. Sam's tiny body actually began to tremble and shake; she wailed into his shoulder, his closeness bringing her some badly needed comfort and security. After several minutes Sam's wailing settled to gentle sobbing, though she held onto Derek tightly as if her own life depended on it.

Principal Franklin opened the door of his office and quietly stepped inside. "Are you ok Sam?"

Derek answered for her, "She needs to go home now. Is it ok if I take her?" Principal Franklin nodded his agreement. "Sam, do you want to stop by your locker before we leave?"

Sam quietly shook her head no. To Derek it did not look like Sam had the strength or the will to walk under her own power. He helped her stand up and was ready to carry her if the need arose, but Sam managed to slowly walk under her own power, though she refused to let go of Derek's hand. Derek asked Principal Franklin if he would inform Freddie of what had happened and that he and Carly would need to make arrangements to get home. Principal Franklin agreed and Roberta, Derek and Sam slowly made their way out of the offices and through the halls of Ridgeway to the shared student/visitor parking lot.

Derek watched Roberta pull her car out of her space and leave the parking lot. He quickly texted his father and mother letting them know what had happened and that he would be with Sam. He looked over to her sitting in the passenger seat. Her eyes were pointed straight ahead but it did not appear she was actually seeing anything. "Sam, do you need anything?" Sam turned her head to face him, but she did not say anything. Derek noticed she had forgotten to fasten her seat belt; he reminded her but she still did not reply. He reached over and did it for her and then pulled out of the lot himself.

The early afternoon traffic was light and it wasn't long before Derek parked his car in front of Sam's house. There was a car in the driveway that he did not recognize. Roberta did say Sam's aunt was coming from Spokane. He got out of the car and quickly walked around the front and helped Sam out of the passenger door. She was still in a daze; Derek walked her up to the front door and into her house. There was a man Derek did not recognize sitting on the living room couch. He got up as soon as Derek and Sam walked in.

"Sam, I'm so sorry." He embraced Sam tightly.

"I'm sorry too Uncle Jack." Sam returned his embrace; she always liked her Uncle Jack even if Aunt Millie sometimes got on her nerves. They separated and Sam motioned to Derek, "This is my boyfriend Derek."

Uncle Jack extended his hand to Derek, "I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to meet you."

Derek returned the handshake, "Nice to meet you too sir. I'm just sorry it has to be like this."

"Sam, your mother is in the dining room with Millie and your neighbor who just got here." Sam and Derek headed for the dining room; Uncle Jack took Derek gently by the arm and held him back.

As Sam approached the dining room table she could hear her mother crying. Pam was talking to Roberta and Millie facing away from Sam. She had no idea anyone was behind her. Sam was about to say something when her mother wailed, "Why did Melanie have to die? Why? She was the good one; she had such a bright future. Why couldn't it be Sam?"

Everyone in the room gasped except for Sam and her mother. Aunt Millie couldn't believe it, "Pam! What are you saying? You can't mean that."

Sadly, Sam could believe it. Without saying a word she turned right around and ran out of her house as fast as she possibly could. She never heard her mother reproach herself and almost immediately take back what she said. Sam blew by Derek and Uncle Jack without pausing a second. It took a moment for Derek to gather his wits but he took off out the door and ran after Sam.

Sam ran and ran; without thinking of where she was going she found herself running to a nearby park. It was her and Melanie's favorite place to play as little girls. Sam stopped at the swings and sat down on one of them, her tears flowing freely and stinging her eyes. Derek caught up to her less than a minute later and sat on the swing next to her.

Sam had difficulty talking through her tears. "She hates me. She wishes I were dead now. How could she…"

"Sam, I'm sure your mother didn't mean it, she's just upset." Derek used his best soothing voice.

Sam did not believe it. "Yes she did. Melanie was always her favorite. Always. Melanie was the one who was better behaved, good manners, and excellent grades. Melanie was her pride and joy. I was just extra baggage, the one she never wanted."

"That's not true Sam, it's not."

"She wishes that I was dead right now." Sam looked down towards her feet. "She's right, you know. If one of us had to die it should have been me."

Derek did not want to hear it; Sam beat herself far too frequently. He got off the swing and got down on one knee in front of Sam. "Don't ever say that. Your mother….your mother has problems. I can't believe she wishes you were dead Sam. Please don't you for one second believe that yourself."

Sam looked down at Derek; her tears had slowed considerably though her eyes were still red and puffy. "I miss her; I'm never going to get to speak to her again. Why did she have to die?"

"Pork chop, I don't know the answer to that, I wish I did. I wish I could bring her back, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Sam nodded her head slowly, "Please, I don't want to be alone."

"I'll be with you forever and that will never change."

The days passed with very little for Sam but heartache and depression. The day after Melanie died Sam tried to talk to her mother but to no avail. Her mother sat in her bed and did nothing more than glare at Sam. Pam Puckett was dealing with her own depression and couldn't find the desire or the wherewithal to help Sam with hers. Pam just wanted to withdraw from the world and wallow in her own grief and misery. Aunt Millie tried to get through to her sister and tell her that Sam was hurting and needed her mother, but she had no luck.

Aunt Millie and Uncle Jack stayed at the house and did their best to help with the funeral arrangements. Sam went with Aunt Millie to the funeral home on that Sunday to start making plans for the wake and funeral. Pam refused to leave her bedroom and said she didn't care what was done. Sam wasn't expecting to have to go and called Derek and asked him to meet her there instead of waiting to go to the house. She thought she might need his support; no, she knew she would need his support.

Derek and his father were waiting at the funeral home when Sam and her Aunt Millie arrived. Sam was surprised to see Derek's father, he and Derek's mother were supposed to leave on vacation that morning.

Derek's father embraced Sam and held her close, "How are you holding up kiddo?"

Sam felt comforted by Mr. Chambers' embrace. Her mother had ignored her the past few days and, even though she did not know it consciously, she craved the attention of a parental figure. "I'm holding up. Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?"

"We cancelled. Do you need anything?"

Sam shook her head and broke the embrace. "Mr. Chambers this is my Aunt Millie, Aunt Millie this is Mr. Chambers."

Derek's father extended his hand, "Please call me John."

Aunt Millie took his hand, "Millie." Derek led Sam inside the funeral home while Millie stayed back with Mr. Chambers. "Derek's a real fine boy, Mr. Chambers. I don't know what Sam would do right now without him."

"I'm glad, he really is a good kid and so is Sam." John lowered his voice, making sure Sam could not hear, "Where is Sam's mother?"

Millie sighed, "She wouldn't come, said she didn't care what arrangements we made. She's not taking things well at all."

John sighed himself. He had an extremely low opinion of Sam's mother. She had gone off with her latest boyfriend over the Christmas holiday, leaving Sam and Melanie to fend for themselves. It would be an understatement to say that John and his wife were horrified. In their households growing up, Christmas was a special time of the year when family always came first. John couldn't believe Pam would not want to see Melanie and spend the holiday with her daughters. He had attended boarding schools himself and always looked forward to school holidays when he could visit his family.

The girls had seemed unfazed by their mother's behavior, but the Chambers insisted that both of them spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the house with them. John knew from experience that boarding school could be difficult and that dorm rooms were not the most comfortable. He had also grown fond of Sam and was determined to give her an enjoyable Christmas once he found out the Puckett's never hung stockings and rarely even bothered to get a tree. He was also impressed with Melanie upon meeting her and they had bonded quickly over their respective boarding school/dorm room stories.

Now Melanie was dead and Sam was clearly hurting; with Pam of seemingly no help John decided to take it upon himself to help however he could. He followed Millie into the funeral home where they found one of the funeral coordinators talking with Sam and Derek. Once introductions were finished the five of them entered a conference room to plan Melanie's viewing and funeral.

Sam did fine composing the obituary and notice, but once everyone entered the showroom to select a casket she broke down. The thought of having to select the vessel Melanie's body would spend the rest of her time in proved too stressful. She tried to hold the tears back but couldn't; she fell against Derek to remain upright, he held her tight and kept her from falling. He comforted his girlfriend as best he could and led her out to the lobby when his father motioned that he would take care of things.

Once Derek and Sam had left the showroom the funeral director began discussing the different options. Derek's father stopped him and pointed to the most lavish and most expensive casket on display. "We'll take that one."

Millie looked uncomfortable and spoke quietly to John, "I'm not sure we can…afford that much. Neither Pam nor I have that much to spend."

John put his hand on Millie's shoulder, "Don't worry about the cost. I'll pay for everything."

Millie began to protest, "We can't…"

John cut her off, "Please, I want to do this. I really like Sam and was impressed with Melanie. I wish I could have known her better."

Millie looked at John; it was an incredibly generous offer, one she wasn't sure they could accept. "I don't know, this is too much."

John shook his head, "No it's not, it's the least I can do. Let me pay; you worry about planning a proper memorial. Please?"

Millie could tell this was important to him, she nodded her head, "Ok, but we're going to pay you back."

John knew there was some pride involved; he nodded his head as well. "Ok, but that can wait until later."

John and Millie walked out of the showroom together while the funeral director made arrangements for the casket. They found Derek and Sam sitting on a couch in the lobby; Sam had stopped crying.

John spoke first, "Derek, why don't you take Sam. We can take care of things here."

Derek looked at Sam, "Do you want to go?"

Sam nodded her head and looked at her Aunt Millie, "Are you sure?"

"John and I can take care of things. Why don't you two go out somewhere, maybe get some lunch?" Sam had hardly eaten since Friday; definitely not normal behavior for her and Millie hoped maybe getting away from the house would do her some good.

John agreed, "That's a good idea. Here, lunch is on me." He pulled out his wallet and took out five 20's and handed them to Derek.

Sam wasn't sure she could eat anything but she did not want to stay at the funeral home. She said her goodbyes and left while holding Derek's hand tightly. He and his father had driven separate cars; they got into his Camry and quickly pulled out of the parking lot. Derek wasn't quite sure what to do. He asked Sam if she was hungry, if she wanted to get a bite to eat, but she just shook her head no. Derek was at a loss, he really did not want to take Sam home, and she needed to be out of the house for a while.

A thought finally came to him. He took out his cell phone and called Spencer. Spencer, his father, Freddie and Carly had spent all the previous day with Sam at her house doing their best to support her. Even if they couldn't bring her much comfort, they figured they could at least be there to show their love. Sam still sat around in a depressive stupor the whole day but did appreciate having her friends around. Derek hoped that being in the Shay's apartment in Bushwell Plaza would do more to lift her spirits; it had always been a happy place for her.

It was five days after Melanie's death and Sam was just arriving at her wake with Derek and his parents on either side of her. Sam's depression had deepened to the point where her friends were worried about her health. She had eaten the bare minimum to keep functioning and had slept no more than a handful of hours each night. As the time passed she spent less and less time communicating with anyone. If someone asked if she needed anything, or asked how she was, she rarely answered in complete words. She might shrug her shoulders once in a while, but mostly she just replied with a blank stare.

Derek did his best to get through to Sam, but she seemed to be withdrawing mentally and emotionally, though she still craved physical contact with him. She was often holding his hand, or curled up in his arms; in fact Derek was spending every night at Sam's. He would hold her in bed and do his best to get her to fall asleep. As a result he was not sleeping very much either and was on the verge of exhaustion himself. Aunt Millie did her best to convince Pam to come out of her room and talk to Sam, but it was useless. She was going through her own mental and emotional meltdown and simply wasn't able to help anyone else with their own, even her own daughter.

If Sam were willing to honestly share her inner thoughts, or people were able to see inside her mind, they would be shocked and frightened at what they would find. Whenever Sam got depressed she tended to get deeply depressed. The previous fall, the last time she was seriously depressed, her thoughts had actually turned to suicide fantasies. Not that she consciously decided to kill herself, but she still thought about what it would be like. She never got to that point, and to her credit these thoughts really scared her, but the fact they were there in the first place was a dangerous sign. Unfortunately Sam never told anyone of her depressed feelings; the closest she got was telling Derek that at the time her thoughts went to some scary places.

Sam's thoughts went back to those places the previous Monday night, after it became clearer what happened to Melanie. Pending the results of the toxicology report which would take several weeks to be finished, the coroner was ruling Melanie's death an accident due to a fatal combination of antidepressants and pain killers. This had come as a surprise to Sam, she had no idea Melanie was taking an antidepressant; depression had never come up during any of their conversations. Melanie's doctor was adamant that he had never prescribed her any sort of pain killers. It turns out Melanie had fallen while jogging and twisted her knee and ankle pretty badly, but instead of going to her doctor she had gone to her roommate for help. Melanie's roommate suffered chronic back pain from a previous car accident and was prescribed Fentanyl for her pain management. She gave Melanie a dozen of her pills before leaving for spring break.

Sometime over the course of the week Melanie had taken all but two of the pills. Fentanyl is easy to overdose on even for those used to taking it; Melanie had no sort of opiate resistance and this might have killed her even without the antidepressant in her system. The coroner said her heart stopped while she was sleeping and that she went peacefully. The coroner stressed that it was a terrible accident and a lesson never to mix medications without a doctor's approval.

This was some comfort to Pam Puckett, her biggest fear was that Melanie had committed suicide, but Sam did not feel any better. Her closest relative was still dead and it did not matter to her if she died intentionally or accidentally. What mattered to Sam was that Melanie died alone; Sam felt like that as her sister, as her TWIN sister no less, she should have somehow known that Melanie was hurting. Sam was convinced that Melanie intentionally killed herself; Melanie was too smart to mix medications like that.

This thought process added an extremely dangerous mix to Sam's already present grief and depression: self-loathing. Sam thought that if she was depressed enough to think about suicide six months previous, then she should have known Melanie might have been thinking about it. Melanie had had a difficult breakup with her boyfriend and she lived essentially on her own at that boarding school. Of course she was depressed; it made perfect sense and Sam was positive she SHOULD have known. She SHOULD have talked to Melanie more, she SHOULD have made sure Melanie knew she could count on her, she SHOULD have known Melanie might kill herself.

She should have done lots of things, Sam thought. But she was not good enough; she was a terrible sister and a worse person. If people realized how she had failed Melanie they would shun her; Derek would leave her for certain. He deserved better than her, but she couldn't tell him that, while she knew she did not deserve him she still craved him. No, she couldn't tell him what she was feeling.

As Sam slowly made her way through the funeral home she could feel everyone's eyes on her. Melanie had an open casket; many people seemed discomfited at the thought of a person with the exact same appearance as the deceased walking among them. The Shays and the Bensons were off to one corner talking amongst them when they saw Sam and the Chambers. Nobody failed to notice how Sam's mother had sat stonily in her chair at the other end of the room and did not stir once as Sam entered the funeral home and made her way across the room.

Everyone embraced Sam and said they were sorry. Sam held the embrace with Mrs. Benson a little longer than was necessary. Mrs. Benson did not mind, she instinctively as a mother understood that Sam needed some maternal contact and she was happy she could provide it. After accepting everyone's condolences Sam's gaze went to Melanie's casket. Sam's discomfort was palpable; everyone there could only guess how difficult it must be to see one's identical twin in such a manner. While it was difficult for Sam, what really made her uncomfortable was her guilt and shame. Eventually Derek asked Sam if she wanted to go up. She nodded and took Derek's hand with her right one. Carly was standing to her immediate left and took Sam's other hand. Carly and Derek made eye contact and silently agreed they were ready and slowly led Sam up to the casket.

There was a kneeler in front of the casket. The trio kneeled down together with Sam in the middle. A few tears escaped Sam's eyes as she spoke directly to Melanie, "I'm sorry sis, please forgive me."

It was late the night of Melanie's funeral, six days after her death. For the first time that week Sam was alone. Derek was exhausted and had slept no more than a few hours any of the nights he had slept at Sam's. Sam finally convinced him to go home for at least one night and sleep in his own bed.

It was 30 minutes past midnight and Sam sat on her bed, alone and depressed, contemplating everything that had happened over the previous week. Officials from Melanie's school had packed up all of her belongings and shipped them to the Puckett house in Seattle. They currently resided in Sam's bedroom; Mrs. Puckett let her sister and brother-in-law know she did not want to see them.

Sam cried as she thought about Melanie once again. Whenever Sam was having especially nasty problems with their mother Melanie was the one she could talk with and confide in. Sam never wanted to let anyone outside the family, even Carly, know just how difficult things could be at home. When Sam had to be talked off the proverbial ledge it was Melanie who talked her down. Now Melanie was gone and Sam did not know what to do. Derek had made it clear she could tell him anything, and she had opened up to him about her mother more than anyone else who's last name was not Puckett, but she still did not feel she could tell him everything. Deep down she worried he would see her and her family for exactly what they were and decide to end their relationship.

Sam eyed the boxes sitting on the other side of her room. Most of them were Melanie's clothes but two were her personal effects. With sleep not coming any time soon, Sam got out of bed and sat down next to those boxes. She wondered if she would be able to figure out what Melanie was thinking just before she died if she sifted through her things.

Sam wiped tears from her eyes and opened the box in front of her. Inside were apparently the contents of Melanie's desk. There were some pictures of the two of them together, a few academic awards she had earned and with some rummaging a picture of her mother turned up. Sam found something else in the box; a prescription bottle. Sam read the label; Lexapro, 10mg tablets. This was Melanie's medication for her depression. Sam sat back against her bed; in her hand was the physical manifestation of Melanie's pain. Another wave of sobbing overcame Sam in that moment, "I'm sorry Mel, I'm sorry," Sam said hoping Melanie could somehow hear.

Sam wished she knew what Melanie was thinking during her last days. Was she depressed enough to kill herself with the Fentanyl? Was it just a stupid accident? Sam found herself momentarily consumed with a longing to know what Melanie experienced. Without giving much conscious thought to her actions Sam got up and went to her mother's bathroom. Her mother had gone out drinking once Aunt Millie and Uncle Jack had left and Sam had no concerns about her mother coming home and finding her. She opened the medicine cabinet and hunted through her mother's myriad prescription bottles. Alcoholism had made Pam Puckett very accident prone and she was always going to the doctor for minor accidents and the doctor invariably prescribed one pain killer or another. Sam found a bottle of Vicodin and snatched it off the shelf.

Sam looked around her mother's bedroom and spied a bottle of Jack Daniels on the nightstand. She grabbed the bottle and hurried back to her own bedroom. Sam sat back down on her bed and contemplated what she was about to do. In that moment her self-hatred and depression conspired to severely impair her ability to think rationally. All Sam wanted at that moment in time was to see her sister again and tell her she was sorry; sorry she couldn't help her, sorry that she couldn't be with her.

There were maybe a dozen Lexapro left in the bottle; Sam downed them all at once and washed them down with the Jack as best she could. The liquid tasted bitter and she had a hard time swallowing it. She managed however, and proceeded to do the same with the Vicodin, swallowing perhaps twice as many of the pills and swallowing more of the whiskey. Once finished Sam sat back and wondered what would happen. Would she just fall asleep and die peacefully like Melanie? Would she thrash and convulse on her bed?

Sam wondered what people would think as her eyes grew a little heavier. Freddie, Spencer, Carly and their father would be too busy to miss her much. Carly needed to be taken care of and who knew just how Carly's mind was working now? Her own mother would probably be overjoyed at the thought that Sam had finally died. Now she didn't have to bother with her at all. Sam's thoughts turned to Derek; Derek would miss her. Derek said he loved her and Sam thought that might be true. Suddenly Sam needed to do something; she needed to apologize to Derek, he would feel responsible even though it was Sam's idea that he go home early that night.

Sam groped for her cell phone on her nightstand. She found it and managed to hit the correct spot on the face to speed dial Derek's number.

"Sam?"

Sam's speech was slurred, "Derek, I'm sorry."

"What, Sam, what's going on?" Derek's voice was very concerned.

Sam's vision began to waver along with her speech and other motor faculties. "I'm sorry….all the pills…not your fault."

"Sam I'm calling 911. Try and get to a bathroom and throw up."

"Love….."

"Sam, you need to throw up."

Sam dropped the phone; she thought she needed more pills instead. She stood up unsteadily. Her mother had plenty of pills, all the pills she would need. Using her arms as a guide Sam began walking across her room. Her vision was swimming and she couldn't walk without swaying wildly from side to side. When she reached the hallway she carefully walked with her right hand on the wall to steady her. This worked reasonably well until she reached the stairs.

She was pushing against the wall as she walked and when she reached the staircase her arm fell forward along with most of her weight. Instinctively Sam tried to correct and balance herself, but it was too late. Her right foot planted too far over the edge of the top of the stairs. Sam tripped and fell head first; fortunately for her she did not tumble straight forward but instead fell at an angle. The back of her head slammed into the handrail, rendering her unconscious. This was another fortunate thing in her favor; she most likely would not have been able to bear what happened to her next.

The back of Sam's tiny, defenseless body slammed into the hard wooden stairs. Even if she were awake Sam might not have been able to hear the soft cracking noises emanating from her spine. She then tumbled head over heels down the stairs. Her left arm got caught at an odd angle and her forearm snapped grotesquely. She would certainly have heard that; it sounded like a small firearm going off. Sam came to rest at the bottom of the stairs; her head making and audible thump when it slammed into the hard floor at the bottom.

Perhaps it was for the best Sam was completely unconscious. Her body lied at a painfully unnatural angle, one of the bones of her left forearm had broken through the skin and blood from a gash opened up on her head was quickly pooling around her. At that moment in time she was more dead than alive.

Author's Note. This was another long chapter that happens to be pretty sad. I don't know why, but everything I have written for this story lately has been long. I hope you do not mind. Yes, there was only one death in this chapter, but there are no guarantees in future ones. If I may quote one of history's great economists, "In the long run we are all dead." While Keynes was discussing economic theory, the quote is also applicable to literature (plus I actually got to use some of my economic education here, so there's that). Basically no character is necessarily safe forever.

Thank you to everyone reading and following this story. I appreciate all who have left reviews. Reviews and private messages are my only true feedback and I value all I can get.