Stay With Me Awhile

It's difficult to determine when it started. Not their friendship, that was easy, but falling in love. That happened all of a sudden and all at once, snuck up on them and ran screaming towards them. None of the guild is quite sure either, not even any of Natsu's closest friends, or his honorary siblings.

Laxus would say it was the moment they locked eyes. He'd not be saying it as a romanticist, but like it's a fact that the entire world should know and maybe it would be. Lucy would say it was when Team Natsu was formed, when they were forced not to fight constantly. She'd be wrong, but she's only joined recently. She never got the chance to see them when they first met, all fierce passion and desperate fury as their fists fly and they hurl insults at each other. Anyone who knew them at the time would say they didn't need to fall in love because they always had been. Lucy's still not sure what the other mages mean by that. As much of a romanticist she is, she really knows little about love.

Natsu and Gray wouldn't say anything on the matter, just glare and glower and turn the conversation to another topic or if that fails, turn it to a fight. They've always been good at that, and maybe that's why they're mates.

Although Natsu is old enough to go through the odd discomfort of mating instincts he never does, a source of confusement for Laxus and a source of relief for Natsu, but only outwardly. At heart, the Fire Dragon Slayer craves the affection he never got when he was far too young and lost when Igneel left him. The idea of having a mate, the one person he's meant to be with who will fit with him perfectly is an odd sort of comfort to Natsu as he hides the vulnerability he only stops feeling around his honorary siblings and when he fights (and with Gray, though he'll deny it to the end of the world and the end of time).

As it is, the relief Natsu feels is paired with disappointment and a deep-seated sense of not good enough that he can't bring himself to admit to and can't bring himself to ignore. At the very heart of the matter, Natsu has even more self-worth issues than Laxus, stemming from his parents, from Igneel, and, most recently, not going through the process of finding his mate. The guild members who were there when Laxus went through the instinct know that Natsu should go through it soon and every single one of them is sure that it'll be Gray, aside from the mages in question. Laxus had seen it the day Natsu and Gray met, and so had most of the others. It had been obvious in a not-so-obvious way, an observation that came with the clash of fire and ice, the locking of ice-blue and forest-green eyes, and the near-thunderous impact of fist and flesh.

So, as Natsu's eighteenth birthday comes and goes and a month passes, then another and another and he brings Lucy and he still doesn't fall under the effects, people assume that he and Gray have already accepted each other in secret. Less than a month passes, and the guild members realize that Natsu and Gray don't act anywhere near like Laxus and Freed do, and it's such a drastic difference that it can't be passed off for them being different people.

It's around then that Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza come back from the S-class mission they weren't supposed to be on and things start changing.

The first thing Natsu does upon their return is drag Laxus upstairs where they can talk in private, shooting a brief apology to Freed for taking away his mate and a look to everyone else that says not to disturb them. Enough incidents that result in fire and lightning burns have occurred that the guild knows not to interrupt private conversations between the two Dragon Slayers. Even Gray respects that.

"What is it Natsu?" Laxus asks rather wearily, half-bracing himself for an explosion from his honorary younger brother.

"You've always loved Freed, right?" Natsu's question is surprising enough that Laxus doesn't speak for awhile. Just as the Fire Dragon Slayers seems ready to dart, he opens his mouth.

"Yeah. The moment we met, I think. Why?"

"Imayormaynotkindasortabemaybeabitinlovewithgray," bursts out Natsu in one breath, speaking quickly and stumbling over his swift-spoken words almost to the point of incomprehensibility. Laxus is fairly sure he gets the gist of what the younger boy has just said, but he has to double check.

"Try sayin' that again at a normal pace, Natsu."

"I… may-or-may-not… kinda-sort be maybe a… bit-in-love-with-Gray?" grits out Natsu as thought the words physically hurt him to say. It turns into a question at the end, and his fists are tightly clenched.

"That's what I thought. You only just realized?" asks Laxus casually. Natsu's eyes widen and he goes through his usual routine of spluttering, fist-waving, fire-breathing outrage. Laxus calmly waits it out.

"The entire guild knows, don't they." Although phrased as a question, Natsu isn't as stupid as he seems or acts and he knows the answer before Laxus' nod.

"Gray doesn't, but the rest have guessed. They've been placin' bets on you since the day you two met, I'm fairly sure." It's possibly the first time Natsu has ever been speechless.

"Oh," he finally says.

"How'd you figure it out?" Laxus asks as the pink-haired mage stands. Forest green meets electric blue.

"I changed his mind," Natsu says, and leaves. Laxus remains sitting there for a long while before a slow grin spreads over his face as he realizes what his honorary brother means. He goes downstairs to reclaim his seat next to Freed and quietly recounts his conversation to his mate.

Unsurprisingly, Natsu doesn't do anything upon his realization, though there are quite a few occasions where he can be seen staring at Gray, oftentimes with something akin to desperation. During those times, Natsu flashes back to quite possibly the most terrifying moment of his life. He can't get the image of Gray standing there, arms outstretched and crossed before him in that terrible 'x' shape, stance wide, eyes full of desperate fury. It had been during that exact moment that he'd realized he's in love with his rival and best friend. He's oddly okay with that.

Residual panic, complete and utter and absolute panic still fills him whenever his mind flashes back to that torturous moment where his bestfriendmaterivalmostimportantpersoninthegoddamnedworld is about to willingly die and he can't stand the thought and all that runs throug his mind is the singular thought, mantra almost, of save Gray save Gray saveGray saveGraysaveGraysaveGraysaveGray, and he's about to lose the person who might mean more to him than his siblings, more to him than Igneel, and he's almost too late to stop it.

He might have lost his everything and that is unacceptable.

He's still pondering on this sudden, fierce protectiveness and realizes it's always been there, hidden, in the background, and he's always known on some level that he loves Gray and he thinks he might have since he met the odd boy who strips mid battle and is as emotionally stunted as him and loves to fight and is quite possibly the best goddamned sparring partner he's ever had and, most importantly, holds a deep and unrelenting passion to match his own. Maybe that's why he never went through the mating instinct because he knew on some level. He knew. Laxus had never fully realized that he loved Freed, and had never fully accepted that Freed had always been rather desperately in love with him until that day. Natsu does and he thinks he always has.

He stands and sends Laxus a meaningful look before quietly slipping out the guild hall doors and down to the riverside where he waits. For once, Laxus appears to have been able to properly read silent messages because he sees Gray approaching him a few minutes later, a question clear in those dark blue eyes.

"Laxus said you'd be here," says the Ice mage as he casually comes to a stop, unaware of the fact that he's shirtless. Natsu realizes suddenly that it's never bothered him or even come close to affecting him. It's just another odd quirk of his best friend slash rival.

"Yeah, I-" Natsu pauses for a second here, unsure of how to put everything that's run through his head into words. It's all overly sappy things he's not even close to comfortable with saying, yet seem right as they run through his head. His turmoil must show in his eyes because Gray stands and waits patiently for him to speak rather than make fun of him or start a fight as he would normally do.

Actions speak louder than words. The saying runs through Natsu's head as he searches for words he can't say until he realizes that he's inches away from Gray. They're about the same height, almost eye level and not quite chest-to-chest. Rather than force awkward syllables over his tongue, Natsu takes a small step forward and hugs Gray in a loose, yet firm, embrace, face buried in the crook of the other's neck. Every muscle in his body relaxes until he's practically hanging off of the black-haired boy. Hesitant arms return the hug.

"You know," Natsu mumbles into Gray's neck before pulling back so they can look at each other.

"Yeah."

And those three words speak volumes more than any heartfelt confessions could. Everything they're not saying aloud floats in the air and is silently whispered as a gentle tickle in their minds alongside the three words they might never say in so many words. I love you.

A/N: Title for this chapter is from Harvest by Opeth. Title for the last chapter (which I forgot to say) was The Only Hope For Me Is You by My Chemial Romance. This chapter is in a bit of a different style than previous chapters, I think. I wrote it right after I read a beautiful Bagginshield fic over on Ao3 (green and gilded by nasri) and their incredible writing kind of influenced the style of this chapter. I'm not sure if it's that different but if it is and you guys like it, let me know and I'll try to write more in this style. Overall, I'm pretty happy with this chapter. I think I got the dynamic between Gray and Natsu alright, so let me know what you think. Thank you and, as always, read and review!