Author's Note:
It's that time again. If you haven't read A Crime of Passion by Sir Alwick, then you should. He is a master of words, his battles are incredibly detailed and I really wish I had his sense of poetry. His last chapter had me hanging my head in shame for my prissy little V'aan battle earlier. His story is an M for one or two reasons, but it's nothing to detailed and can be skipped. Really, you are missing out if you haven't read it.
Skylar: Comic canon, the Titans know who Nightwing is. Strictly speaking, Nightwing's identity is like the worst kept secrets out there, most superheros know. They'd also know about the baby. The Doom Patrol could probably figure it out, if they thought about it but I don't see any of them reading gossip magazines (except maybe Rita). The Monks of Azar do not and, since they don't go to Earth, probably don't care, but since Raven talked about her team, Nightwing (Robin) included, she thought it was better Nightwing walked her down the aisle. Since the other Titans were going in their superhero personas (ie Flash, Speedy, Herald all wore masks), Nightwing thought it best to wear his mask too. But he really wasn't that affectionate toward Starfire, beside the belly rub and as I mentioned a lot of people did that over the course of the night, so I don't see a problem with him going as Nightwing.
Follow
Dick rapped on the door. "Starfire?" He waited a full minute before he tried again. "Star, I know you're in there."
"Go away." Her voice sounded muffled and a distance from the door. Dick guessed she was probably face first in her pillow. They all had guest rooms in the Azarathian Tower for the night, Raven preferred people didn't pass out to sleep in the hallways or the banquet room.
He rested his head on the door, looking down at his feet. "I can't. I need to—"
"Please."
"Star, I need to talk to you."
"I do not wish to speak to you." A louder voice now, the muffled sound was gone.
"I look ridiculous standing outside your door."
"Then go back to your room," she told him, her voice moving around inside the room.
"Not until I said what I came to say."
"Then you shall be waiting a long time."
"I'll say it through the door if I have to."
"I am tired. We should do this in the morning when you are not inebriated."
"I'm not drunk. Not even close, I wanted to keep a level head tonight. I know—"
"I do not think it wise to—"
"Fuck being wise," Dick snapped and jiggled the door handle. "Let me in."
"No."
Dick sighed. "Please."
She didn't answer.
Resting his forehead against the door again, he sighed. "I didn't do it in the past and I'm always going to regret that. This time, I'm going to fight for you. For us."
Stony silence.
"I know you think it's a by-product of the baby. That we're being forced together and they aren't real. But I know they are real because I never stopped—"
Something hit the door. Probably Starfire by how close she sounded. "Do not," she snarled through. "Do not ruin tonight any more than you have. Go away now."
"Starfire—"
"Do not do this to me!" she cried and the door thumped. "Not now!"
"Then let me in."
A ragged sob. "In the morning."
"Star—"
"In the morning, you may say whatever you wish to say. And I will listen. Not until then."
"I want—"
"Goodnight, Dick," she said and he heard her moving away.
Dick sighed. He thumped his head against the door, then turned around to slide his back all the way to the ground. He rested his head back to stare at the roof and sat there.
He could break in, he supposed. He could pick the lock and enter on his own but it would be a breach of trust. A huge break and he didn't think he could come back from that. He could come back in the morning, but he thought it would give Starfire too much time. And himself too. He wanted to act, wanted to tell her so they could move on, move past, get on with their lives. Whether that was together or not, he just wanted her to hear the words from him.
Five minutes past before he heard any form of noise from Starfire's room. Bathroom door, by the sounds. Then, "You are still out there."
"Yup."
A pause. "Why?"
"I want to talk to you."
Another pause. "Can it not wait?"
"No, I don't think it can."
"I wish to sleep."
"Do you really think you can?" he asked. "Knowing I'm camping outside your door?"
"Dick—"
"Five minutes. Just give me five minutes."
"I do not—"
"I'll sing. Grand old duke of York. I'll stay out here and sing all night until you talk to me."
She fell silent.
"Grand old Duke of York, he had ten thousand men, he marched them up to the top of the hill and he marched then down again. And when they were up—"
"Dick? What are you doing?"
Dick looked over to see Speedy coming down the hallway. "Serenading Starfire."
Speedy raised an eyebrow at him, then peeled off his mask as he unlocked the door of the room he was staying in. "With Grand old Duke of York?"
Dick grinned. "Yup."
"Right. Well… keep it down then, would you?"
"Nope. Gotta keep singing until she lets me in."
Roy screwed up his face. "Pick a better song then."
"Any suggestions?" Dick asked.
"Fuck if I know," Roy rolled his eyes. "Try Teenage Dream."
Dick laughed. "Katy Perry fan, are we?" He bashed the back of his head against the door in a knock. "Whaddya reckon, Star. Wanna see me in skin-tight jeans?" He took a deep breath. "You think I'm pretty without any makeup on—"
"Jesus, Dick," Roy complained. "Be in tune at least."
"You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong—"
The handle of her door rattled as it was unlocked.
"Guess that's a yes," Dick said, triumphant as he bounded to his feet. "Night Roy."
Starfire stood so the bed was between her and the door, effectively preventing him from going straight for her. "You have five minutes," she told him sternly. "Then I expect you to leave."
"If that's what you want," he said, studying her.
She wouldn't look at him, not directly, her gaze fixed on the painting on the wall to his left. Stiff backed, stiff everything, she looked set to bolt at any moment.
He thrust his hands into his pockets and planted his feet. She'd have to get by him to get to the door. The only other way she could go was the bathroom. "I get why you're scared. I am too."
"Why could you not wait until morning?" she scolded.
"Because we've already wasted so much time and I don't want to—"
"I am not a second choice because you cannot have Babs!"
"You're not second anything. I never fell out of love with you either!"
Her hands balled into fists. "You are a liar!"
"Yes, I am," he said. "I lied to Babs when I said I didn't love you, I allowed you to believe a lie all because I didn't want to face the truth."
"You want to be with her, not—"
"I wanted to be with you first," he told her. "I tried! At Fashion Week, I asked if we could talk but you said some things couldn't be fixed! I wanted to respect your decision. And then Babs got hurt and… I thought I was going to lose her. Feelings got muddled—"
"Do not deny that you love her," she snarled.
"I do love her," Dick said. "But we never had a real chance to be anything more. She tried to tell me, she knew, Star, she told me this would happen, that I'm still in love with—"
"Stop it. Just stop it." She paced in a tight circle. "I cannot let you do this to me again."
"Do what?"
"Hurt me." She shook her head. "I cannot."
"It's never been my intent to hurt you."
She threw him a glare. "And yet you do. Again and again and I will not do this with you again." She shook her finger at him, taking a step forward. "You told me, you said you wanted to be with her. I respected that. What am I supposed to do with this now? Accept with open arms? Rush over and kiss you and gush this is what I always wanted? Jump back into a relationship? Become the happy family?"
He was taken aback. "I…"
Her eyes widened and she took a step back. "You do expect that!"
"I thought that was what you wanted! You love me!"
She flinched, screwed up her face and waved her hands at him. "You cannot use that against me!"
"But you do!"
"And you think that will make all our problems magically disappear?"
"We've been doing alright so far."
"We have been tolerating each other's presence," she spat.
"Isn't it at least a start?" he protested. "A stepping stone? Can't we talk?"
"About what?" she asked. "Dick, I do not trust you anymore."
It was like a slap in the face. It sent him reeling.
Starfire gasped, her face turning that odd yellow-peach colour and she collapsed. Flinging her arms forward, she managed to catch the bed.
He rushed around the bed to her. "Star? Star!"
She twisted and sat, her back propped against the mattress as she panted. "Oooh."
He panicked as he knelt beside her. "What? What's wrong?"
Legs spread apart, she rested them flat on the floor and rubbed her belly in circular motions. "She does not like us fighting."
"Contractions?"
She bent her head back so it was supported by the bed and stared at the roof, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye and down to her ear. "I do not know. But it hurt."
"It's too early. I'll get Raven."
"No," she said and grabbed his hand to stop him. "Let them have this night. It might only be one."
"What can I do?"
"I would ask you to leave, but somehow I do not think that is happening tonight."
"Not a chance. What else can I do?"
She sighed. "Just sit."
He did, sitting beside her knees so he could see her. "Do you want me to rub?" he asked, gesturing her hands.
Her hands flopped away from her belly. "Please."
He gently placed his hands against her. "Oh, god, it's hard." Her stomach felt like a solid rock beneath his palm, he'd never felt it so hard before.
She nodded. "It hurt."
He rubbed in little circles. "Braxton Hicks, maybe?"
"What are Braxton Hicks?"
"Practice contractions. You probably call them something else."
"Oh." She closed her eyes. "Possibly."
"I don't want to fight with you, Star."
"I do not wish to fight either."
"I wasn't really thinking," he confessed. "About after. I just wanted to tell you."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"We'd danced around each other for so long, I thought you deserved… do you really not trust me anymore?"
She turned her face toward the head of the bed, away from him.
"Star?"
"I… trust that you are a good man," she said. "I trust you wish for the best. I trust you will always be there for our daughter. But my heart? I do not think I should. There is so much hurt there."
"Could we work on that?" he asked. "Could we try?"
"Why?" she asked, raising her head. "To what end?"
He continued to rub her stomach, trying to sooth tired muscles. It had softened enough he was fairly sure it didn't hurt anymore but he didn't stop. Large ovals, on either side of her belly, his hands slipping across the fabric of her dress. It pooled around her hips, hiked up her legs by her position and Dick would've spared a thought for her decency if she'd cared about that sort of thing. "I told Raven all that was needed was love, but that's not exactly true. You need respect and trust. Compromise. Honesty."
She watched him.
"We had all that once. We're slowly getting back there, at least we were. I don't 'tolerate' you, Star. I look forward to every moment I spend with you and I hate going home to my empty apartment. I look forward to your smile, the way you light up a room. I want to be around you, all the time."
"It is not real."
"It is real," he said. "Because it feels like it did in the beginning. Back when we started dating. Hell, it even feels a little like the beginning of the friends-with-benefits, I was so happy you were back in my life, I took any form of contact you were willing to have. I'm older now, and not that stupid or thinking with… that part of my anatomy over anything else but it still feels the same. I get the same rush every time I see you."
"That will fade."
"I don't doubt that. It's a proven fact, the tingle of new love does fade. But I think about you all day, wondering what you're doing, how you are, how the baby is. I think in long term goals, far in the future, things we'll do together, things we'll do as a family. That won't fade. We keep coming back to each other, finding each other. I feel more strongly for you than I ever have for anyone else. I want to fight to keep you. I won't let go."
She shook her head, not believing him. "Dick…"
"Love's a good start, isn't it? A good foundation."
"I—"
He picked up her hand and pressed it to his cheek. "You touch me and it feels the same as when we started. You touch me and I'm home."
Starfire burst into giggles which she quickly smothered. "That is Dory's line."
Dick blinked. Then grinned. "Do I get points for being corny then?"
She nodded. Her thumb brushed against his check, then her finger tips lingered before she pulled her hand away. "What about Babs?"
Dick returned to rubbing her belly. "I honestly don't know. Babs saw this coming. She knew, which I think is why she got out early. She's always been your biggest advocate. Dropping hints and dragging me along to Fashion Week so I could talk to you."
"But what about her feelings?" Starfire asked. "She wanted to be— you both wanted—"
Dick shrugged. "She's dating that Jason Bard guy." He was pleased when he didn't sound bitter.
"But—"
"She made her choice, Star."
"And if she had not?" Starfire pressed.
"Then… I would've realised I still love you, told her she was right and I'd still be here rubbing your belly asking you to take me back."
"Is that what you're asking?"
"It is. Maybe if she hadn't pushed me away, it would've been different. I honestly don't know."
She bit her bottom lip. "It also does not change the fact that you are here because of the baby. We would not be here, like this, were it not for her."
"That's true. But we are here, and Gally is the reason, why not take—"
"Gally?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up.
He chuckled and shrugged. "I dunno. Sounded cute. We need something to call her other than 'the baby'. Maybe that can be her middle name."
"Perhaps." She chewed her lip again. "What if Babs had reciprocated from the start? If she had not asked you to wait."
"We can't live our lives on what ifs. This is what happened. This is where we are." Stretching out his hand, he traced her collarbone with the tips of his fingers. He wondered if she'd let him touch her like this, it was more intimate than normal, especially when he ran his fingers to the hollow of her throat, then up her neck to her jaw.
Her lips parted as she let out a shaky breath.
"I'm not asking us to pick up where we left off." He stroked a finger down her chin. "I don't want to jump back into a relationship. I'm just asking is there enough left to build from."
Feeling daring, he shifted forward, kneeling beside her instead of sitting. His other hand lifted from her belly, taking her hand to direct to his chest. Once her hand rested over his heart, he touched her neck while the hand which traversed her face cupped her cheek. As slowly as he could, he leant in toward her. There would be no mistaking his approach or his intent, but he wanted to give her time to either accept or turn away.
He hoped she didn't turn away.
She swallowed, her eyes locked on his, going cross eyed as he grew closer.
His nose brushed against her and his eyes slid closed. Touching his lips gently to hers, once, then he pulled away a fraction. Enough so their faces still touched, but he could judge whether or not she wanted him to kiss her more. Peeking through his eyelashes, he saw her eyes were closed and felt her face rise up against his.
Another soft press against her lips.
Her hand curled on his chest. Not pushing him away, holding him there.
He brushed his face against hers. If this whole ordeal had taught him something, it was just how responsive she was to touch. Kissing was Earthen, this was for her. Soft, gentle brushes of his nose to her cheek, lips on the corner of her eye. The pads of his fingers lightly stroking to tease but strong enough to hold her in place. His cheek skimmed against hers as he made his way down to her lips.
Her breathing increased.
As he placed another tiny kiss against her lips, his hands glided away from her face, down her neck and over her shoulders to tickle her upper arms.
"Dick," she breathed and he felt her hand on his hip.
"We'll take things slow," he promised, his lips brushing the corner of her mouth as he spoke. "Remember how we were. We have all the time in the world. Okay?"
"This is not fair," she whispered.
"Do you want me to stop?"
A soft moan. "No."
"Can we try again?"
"Hmm. You are not settling because—"
"I'm not settling. I choose this, I choose you. I want to be with you."
"You are certain?" Glazed eyes stared at him, wanting answers but also seduced by touch.
"Very certain."
She gave a tiny nod and slid her eyes shut.
He grinned, touching their lips again. "One more thing," he murmured.
"Yes?"
"Have I still ruined tonight?"
Starfire's eyes opened and she laughed. Grinning, Dick swallowed her laughter with kisses.
Author's Note 2:
Pregnancy facts: Braxton Hicks is the technical term for practice contractions. Every pregnancy will have it (even if you've been pregnant before), but not every pregnancy will have the strong ones like Starfire just experienced. Sometimes they can be so weak you don't notice, sometimes they will knock you off your feet, it just depends.
Ways to tell Braxton Hicks: There is no rhythm. Braxton Hicks are irregular, real contractions are as regular as fuck, steadily getting stronger. Braxton Hicks will change if you change position, including disappearing completely.
Depending on who you are, your body type and fluid levels, Braxton Hicks cam turn your stomach hard, sometimes that's the only way you know they're happening (although stomach being hard can be caused by other things). They do and can hurt. They can simulate real contractions, to the extent you can be fooled by them and head to the hospital to check (happened to me).
Braxton Hicks are more easily felt at rest, but can be brought on by exhaustion too. If you have any pregnancy question, feel free to ask, I will cover things if I mention them in the story.