I'm so sorry! T.T I've been sorting out university applications and things like that~ Studying to get into uni etc. Studying first right? =P
Anyways~ Here~
Chapter 25
(Axel POV)
He felt the boy tighten his hold on the redhead, matching the grip that Axel had on the blonde. Was Roxas feeling the same way that he was? The possession that Axel felt was insane, he would never let anyone touch the boy again. It should have been 'He would never let anyone touch the boy ever', but obviously he couldn't even do that. Guilt shot through his heart again, dimming the happiness that was in his eyes slightly, how could he let Zexion do that to Roxas? It would never happen again though, he would always remain with the blonde, nothing could touch him with Axel around. He wouldn't let anything happen to him.
That smile, it was the most amazing thing that the redhead had ever seen. Axel thought the same thing every time he saw that bright smile on the blonde's face, it immediately made his heart start fluttering. Is this what love really felt like? Axel really didn't remember what it was like to love anyone, his parents were taken by death such a long time ago that he had already forgotten what love felt like. In any case, it was probably nothing compared to this soft, warm feeling that was slowly blooming inside his chest.
He immediately felt a smile growing on his face once again when he saw that happy expression break out on the blonde's features. It was so contagious, once Roxas smiled Axel became happy, ecstatic even...it just seemed like the most natural thing to do. Roxas was so pure...so innocent, Axel couldn't understand how someone could even think of defiling such a perfect being. Hearing the giggle that burst from the boy's lips, his smile turned into a grin as he stared down at the blonde, wondering how someone could laugh in a situation like this. Apparently Roxas could.
His face grew solemn at almost the exact same time that the blonde's happy expression fell, feeling the tension in the bathroom rising. Listening to the boy as he spoke, he leant his head backwards ever so slightly, trying to feel those fingers rubbing his neck gently. When Roxas paused mid-sentence, the redhead peered down at him, silently urging him to continue with what he had wanted to say. What could the blonde be thinking that was so hard to say? His face broke out into a gentle smile once more when Roxas shyly asked him that question. The blonde honestly didn't need to ask that, Axel had already promised himself that he would protect Roxas at all costs.
Leaning down gently, he placed his mouth next to the blonde's ear and softly whispered, "You don't even have to ask me that. I promise that I'll always be with you...I'll protect you Roxas." He gently placed a kiss to the boy's cheek before leaning back to stare into those beautiful eyes. Roxas seemed to want to stay in school, which was surprising to the redhead, but if he wanted to stay then so be it. Axel didn't really expect the blonde to do any work that day, or in the week for that matter. But, the good thing was that it was Friday already, they would have the weekend to calm down and relax, perhaps finally get to know each other fully. The only problem was that Axel had to work on Saturday night, the thought of that didn't please the redhead at all...he would have to tell Roxas about his job.
He took the blonde's hand before standing up gently, slowly pulling Roxas up with him, trying his best not to hurt the boy. "Shall we go to your locker then?" He didn't want to mention going back to class again, he would let the blonde decide that for himself when he was ready. "Why do you have to pretend that nothing happened? Do you know why he did...that?" The thought confused Axel a little, why would pretending that everything was normal affect Zexion in any way? The redhead thought that the blue haired boy might have thought of this as some fucked up version of 'fun'. Honestly, he had no idea why Zexion had done it in the first place, he was sure that Roxas would tell him at some point, if not now.
(Roxas POV)
Promise.... There was that word again. Roxas was calmed by it, but it settled a feeling of doubtfulness in him. Was it really a thing, an eternal something, a never terminated agreement? Or was it just a word? Just a pointless, insignificant word.... His demons seemed to dwell on it. He had always heard the word said so nonchalantly, with so little emotion. Like his parents' marriage. That was a promise, and look at what happened. And his mother had promised him that she wouldn't let that awful father of his hit him too....
He appreciated how Axel helped him up, and as he stood up, he had to close his eyes tight at the sudden pain that shot through his body. His legs felt like jelly again, but he got a grip on the spinning world and looked up at the red-head, smiling slightly with a hint of discomfort in his expression. He thought of Zexion and his fucked-up actions, and the blonde let the smile drop from his face. He would probably be sore for the rest of the day... at least for the rest of the school day. Thank goodness it was Friday, though. It almost gave him an excuse for his brain's inability to function; all the other students would be excited for the weekend and just as inept at working. Except Roxas wasn't excited, not at all. He thought he would be, with the fact that he and his partner had the whole weekend to themselves, but his mind was rejecting all positive feelings now.
It seemed to be setting in now, after the numbing shock. That the blonde had been taken advantage of so easily, almost willingly, and he was ashamed, guilty, hurt, wounded, scarred, regretful... and full of an odd light-headed affection that he knew was coming from Axel. The latter was the only thing that helped him smile those few times, and he knew it would help him fake it for the rest of the day. If he had to. He didn't even feel like being around people right now, his mind was on a sort-of overdrive paranoia mode. Everyone but his lover was an enemy, all those oblivious people out there who had no idea what Roxas went through. Except Zexion. He was so much worse than an enemy. He was a plague, an affliction, a sickness, something like a mental illness, one that never went away. A scar.
God, did he know why he did this.... But he couldn't tell Axel. Roxas was too paranoid to tell him such a thing right now. He didn't want to give Zexion the satisfaction of having the red-head know about it. How the twisted blunette had a crush on the boy. Because that's what it was, the blonde knew this. He didn't threaten him to protect his 'friend', he threatened him to protect his own selfish ambitions. Well, that damned boy would never get what he wanted. Roxas would make so damn sure of it that Zexion would be completely erased from the picture. Totally eradicated.
"...It's nothing. Something stupid." His eyes were full of lies, and he knew this, so he looked down from those emerald orbs to look down at their joined hands. Because it wasn't nothing; Roxas had felt the same thing just yesterday that Zexion was feeling now. And look what it turned into. A crush definitely wasn't 'nothing'. He cleared his mind of anything that could make his eyes appear dull with evasion, and looked back up to Axel. "Let's go. Just... go check that no one's in the hallway. I can't exactly walk to my locker with no shirt on without getting severely punished for it."
(Axel POV)
The lie in Roxas' eyes was easy to see, however it was only visible for a few seconds before the blonde looked down at the floor. That was enough time for Axel to catch the flickering in the boy's eyes. Although Roxas was obviously lying, the redhead wouldn't push the issue, after all the blonde had gone through, he probably needed this time to recover. Roxas would tell Axel when he felt ready, that was all that he needed to know, also...the lie that the boy had thought of was pretty silly. Someone would never rape a person for something 'stupid', the person had to be either mentally insane, or what they were talking about was pretty serious to them. Also, rape wasn't how to solve something, Axel thought that anyone would know that, it's only common sense.
The happiness in Roxas' eyes had dimmed down once more, the bright blue orbs were replaced with dull, almost grey ones again. Listening to the boy's command, Axel nodded, seeing the reasoning behind what the blonde said, the principal would definitely be suspicious if he heard about two boys walking out of the bathroom in the middle of class, especially if one wasn't wearing a shirt. Slowly walking towards the bathroom door, the redhead tried to open it without making any noise and winced when the creak of the door echoed across the empty hallway. Poking his head out of the bathroom entrance, he surveyed the hallway, looking for any students or teachers that might be wandering around.
Obviously, there was nobody there. The first lesson of the day was still going on, so there would be nobody hanging around. Turning around again, this time to face the blonde, he gave the boy a smile and quick nod, letting his know that the coast was clear before grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the bathroom gently. They would have to be fast if they didn't want to be caught, there was only about ten minutes until the first lesson finished. Axel didn't believe that time had passed by so fast, it had felt like only 5 minutes ago since he had been sitting in that chair in the classroom, waiting for Roxas.
Running quickly, Axel tried his best to keep the blonde at his side, but obviously Zexion had done a lot of damage to Roxas with his actions. The boy didn't seem to be able to move that well, his legs moved awkwardly as if trying to grow accustomed to walking again, and every few steps the blonde would wince before trying to cover it up again. Axel felt his heart clench at the sight of Roxas in pain, he wanted to lift the boy and run along the corridor with the blonde in his arms, but Roxas' pride wouldn't allow the redhead to do that. Axel couldn't blame him though, he would feel offended if someone offered to carry him, he would feel weak. That was something that Axel never wanted to admit to anyone, admitting that you were weak only made you vulnerable to those around you.
He focused on the blonde next to him, ensuring that the boy didn't fall or anything else that might hurt him further. At least their lockers weren't far away from the bathroom, it would only take them about three minutes or something to get there. Roxas would definitely have enough time to get dressed and fix himself up like everything had been normal. Axel wanted the boy to complain to the principal, Zexion would be kicked out of the school for sure considering how much of a homophobe the principal was. The only problem was that the blue haired boy might seek revenge or something else just as fucked up, the redhead thought that he knew the blunette well...obviously not.
Reaching the blonde's locker, Axel stood next to Roxas as he opened it, watching for any people that might see the two boys. They had five minutes until the lesson finished, and some classes let out early, silently he urged the blonde to hurry up. He didn't want the blonde to get in trouble, especially after all this shit that had happened.
(Roxas POV)
He felt bad for lying to Axel, but it was for his own good. Roxas knew that the red-head would feel that it was his fault Zexion did such a thing to him, that it was because of the blunette's crush that the blonde was hurt. Of course, he would have to tell him eventually, because the boy definitely wouldn't forget about it. Roxas would be bothered about it until he told, he knew. Because Axel cared about him that much. It was still a shocking revelation.
Before Axel pulled him into the hallway, Roxas went over to his shirt, which was spread on the floor, and picked it up. That was something that would give them away too, even though no one would be able to tell it was his shirt. It would still be obvious, and tip their principal off that there were... things going on in the bathroom. Awful things. He moved slowly still, putting the half-ruined shirt on tediously. At least he could look dressed if anyone saw them from behind. He picked his bookbag up, feeling it's weight with more afliction.
The blonde was led into the hallway by his lover, who was pulling him along a little faster than his body wanted to move. He winced with almost every step, the pain renewing itself to a worser agony with every movement. He felt tears of the pain biting at his eyelids again, the memories of Zexion resurfacing to float in his consciousness. He didn't want to think about it, but something - something evil - was pushing it into his mind again. Why, why did they have to torture him? Why couldn't someone like Zexion be inflicted with these demons instead? He took a deep breath as he cringed again, and tried his hardest to banish these fresh tears.
He was thankful for the fact that his locker was so close to the bathroom, and they reached it no time. Roxas dropped his messenger bag on the floor with a loud clunk. He leaned against the locker next to his, breathing heavily, as he turned the dial on his lock as fast as he could. Even his fingers seemed numb. After fumbling with it for a moment, he opened the locker and pulled his black and white sweatshirt from it. He pushed himself off the neighboring locker and pulled the top over his head, feeling the security of having something on like a weight off his chest. Now it wouldn't be too suspicious that they were in the hallway in the middle of class, at least. He tuned back to his locker, looking into the mirror that was on the inside of the door. He looked like shit, frankly. He groaned and tried to smooth his hair down as much as possible, at least to where it would look semi-normal. It was hopeless anyways, but whatever. He took the sleeve of his sweatshirt and wiped away the shine of sweat from his face.
The blonde fell back to lean against the locker again, sighing deeply, closing his eyes against the harsh fluorescent lights. Everything seemed to hurt Roxas in some way. Except Axel's touches, he thought. They were the only thing that comforted him at this point, that took his heart in a loving embrace and repaired all the hurt and pain. The agony would never truly go away, for when the blonde was separated from his partner, it all came rushing back to him. Axel was proving to be even more of a protector, a security object, than Roxas thought possible... but, then again, he never thought he would be violated like that either. Everything was so confusing now... even though he knew the answers to the questions he wanted answered, he still felt his world spinning uncontrollably. He couldn't stop it either, it was a spiral of torment and befuddling emotions that tied itself around his heart, only to be stopped by the red-head's touch. He felt that it would eventually be part of his cause of death; it would stay with him until he was withered and six feet under.
He opened his eyes, all his disorienting, maddening feelings filling his eyes with a brighter sky blue. It was misleading; it looked happy, an unaffected gleam in those orbs..... But, it was only his burdened heart trying to cover all this up. Was it for the blonde's own sake? Was it for Axel's? Was it something else? Even Roxas couldn't read his own heart. It was a tightly shut book, securely locked. His gaze wandered to Axel, and he let a small, pathetic smile come over his face. He felt like apologizing again, but he was too weak to say it. Axel had done so much for him, and all he had to give the boy was his love. It felt inadequate.
RING. The bell, signaling the time between first period and second. They had History for this period. Great, the one teacher who tried to get Roxas to answer questions. He rolled his eyes and pushed himself up off the locker, facing his partner. "We should get going." His tired voice was slightly drowned out by the waterfall of students that suddenly emptied into the hallway. The blonde turned to pick up his bag, with another wince, and headed down the hallway. He came up with an excuse for his slow pace right there on the spot, surprised that he could think that much right now. He'd just tell anyone who asked that he hurt his leg in gym again. It had happened before, so it was believable. He would just have to pretend to be limping for the rest of the day.
(Axel POV)
Worry crossed Axel's features as he stared down at the boy panting after he had managed to pull his sweatshirt over his head. Zexion had gone way too far this time, in fact this was probably the first time that Axel had ever heard of the blue haired boy doing such a despicable thing. If the redhead hadn't seen the condition Roxas was in, or if he didn't believe everything that the blonde told him, he would probably think that the boy was lying about what Zexion did. However...that wasn't the case, he had seen Roxas and had listened to what the boy had told him, it was just hard to believe that Zexion would ever do that to someone. What had happened to him? Had he gone insane or something? Whatever it was, Axel didn't want anything to do with the blue haired boy anymore, he wanted the blunette out of his life now. Roxas' life too. He hoped that would be the last time that the blonde would see Zexion, but...obviously that would be hard considering they went to the same school. Life was a bitch it seemed.
Hearing a clanking noise, he turned his head sharply and noticed that Roxas had practically collapsed against his locker. Concern made its way into his eyes as he looked down at the boy and wondered how the blonde was going to survive the whole school day. Axel looked into Roxas eyes, noticing the glint within them and blinked. The boy looked...almost happy. That wasn't right, he shouldn't be happy in this condition. The redhead peered closer into the blonde's eyes and saw that they seemed completely empty, the sparkling wasn't the same as it had been before. The redhead sighed before jumping when the loud clang of the bell rang across the corridor. It looked like it was time to face the rest of the school body, hopefully they wouldn't ask about why they had missed the first lesson.
Barely hearing Roxas' voice over the crowd of students that began filling the hallway, Axel nodded slightly before pushing himself off the locker and began walking behind the blonde. He would be there to catch the boy if he fell, it was the least he could do for him after all this shit had happened. Keeping his eyes trained on Roxas, Axel noticed the limp that the boy had and felt guilt rising up like bile from his stomach. He should have gone with Roxas, the thought circled his mind again as he walked down the corridor, vaguely spotting the History classroom at the other end. This day was going by so slowly, it was only the second lesson and it felt as if a week had gone by.
Reaching the classroom door, Axel pushed it open for the blonde and smiled gently at him before walking into the room to sit at a desk. He motioned over for Roxas to sit next to him and watched as the teacher entered the classroom. It was lucky that they had made it in time for the lesson, Mr. Hikaru had always been strict with people who were late to his lesson, and right then Roxas really didn't need that man going on at him. Axel groaned quietly as the teacher immediately began lecturing the class on god knows what, the redhead had never listened in class, he still got As anyway. He watched the blonde out of the corner of his eye, making sure that everything was alright with him and had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around the boy and kiss away his pain.
He was broken from his reverie by a rolled up piece of paper hitting his desk, blinking in surprise, Axel unfolded it and looked at it's contents before sighing.
'Tell Roxas that he can join us for lunch if he wants.
-Demyx'
Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the boy a couple of desks away and smirked slightly. How sly. He wondered how the teacher missed that obvious note thrown across the classroom before he turned back to the blonde again. Smiling at him gently, he leaned close to Roxas so that he could whisper in the boy's ear. "Hey...Do you wanna eat lunch at our table today? Demyx wants to know if you'd like to sit with us."
He couldn't help but give the blonde another reassuring smile as he scrunched the note into a ball again. Perhaps things would be alright after all, some of his friends actually appeared to be happy that Roxas was with Axel. Those were the kind of people who were the redhead's real friends, not the blunette. He still didn't understand why the blue haired boy would do that to Roxas, it just didn't make any sense. Shaking his head softly, Axel tried to throw those negative thoughts out of his head and focused completely on the blonde in front of him. He would always be there to look after Roxas, no matter what happened, the boy could rely on Axel to be there. Nothing would ever happen to Roxas again, he would make sure of that.
(Roxas POV)
The walk to the History classroom was painful, but Roxas felt Axel's presence, and knew that he was staying close incase the blonde lost all motor skills at that moment. Well, it felt like that was about to happen, anyways. Luckily, he reached the room without falling on his face. He kept up the limp, and hoped that no one became suspicious of him. He took his seat next to Axel, thankful that they didn't have assigned seats. It hurt to sit too. apparently Roxas' day was going to be filled with this agony.
At the moment Roxas got comfortable - well, as comfortable as he could - Mr. Hikaru walked into the room. Thank goodness the blonde wasn't late. Then the man would definitely pester him about answering stupid questions today. He always did that, picked on Roxas. If he didn't have enough with his classmates always teasing him, he had to make it worse when he asked those questions. If the blonde answered right, people laughed and called him a nerd. If he got it wrong, people laughed and called him stupid. Today, they'd be calling him stupid.
He was calmed by the fact that Axel was with him, though. If they had just one class apart, the blonde would probably be very pissed off right now. The red-head was his shield from the cruel world, from the reality he always hated. Axel was his new world, a universe he kept all to himself, mentally threatening all who approaced his sanctuary. It was quite possessive, but Roxas failed to notice this. It was an automatic reaction, really.
Mr. Hikaru was talking about something utterly irrelevant to him right now, so the blonde just leaned back in his chair, and relaxed. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, enveloping his world in a peaceful darkness. He felt his lover's life-force inside of his own heart, beating in tune with his own and keeping him sane. The ribbons of affection that wound between them were suffocating once again, but it helped to slow his erratic heartbeat. He would never get this out of his mind, this awful boy and his actions.... Roxas knew it was a futile effort to try and banish this day from his mind, so he wouldn't try. He would just adapt, if that was possible. Get used to the emotional pain and the scars that marred his heart. He let out a loud sigh.
Axel's voice shocked the blonde out of his reverie, and his eyes snapped open at the mention of eating lunch with the red-head's friends. Oh god, no. He didn't want to. He truly hated people right now, and wanted nothing to do with the skeptical group he met this morning. And - oh, fuck - Zexion would be there, right? No. No no no. The blonde couldn't stand that right now. He'd end up either running away if the boy said anything to him, or he'd knock him out cold. That was a rather optimistic thought, because Roxas couldn't hurt the boy if he tried. His pained sky-blue eyes moved to look at his partner, and despite all the refusal in his heart and mind, he replied, "Sure." Even that smile couldn't tell him that it would be okay.
This 'Demyx' probably only wanted to make fun of the blonde up close anyways. That always happened, so Roxas just stopped accepting invitations to sit with anyone at lunch. But Axel would be there, so how bad could it be? Really, human contact was the last thing he needed right now. The red-head's strong look of protection calmed Roxas a bit, and he smiled back weakly. Today was going to be a nightmare.
(Axel POV)
The anxiety in Roxas' face was obvious the moment that the redhead had asked the blonde to join him for lunch. What was the boy worried about? That was when it hit him, Zexion...he would be there too, it was too soon for Roxas to be seeing the blunette. Axel would protect him though, he would make sure that the blue haired boy wouldn't do or say anything to harm the blonde. He secretly promised himself and Roxas that, whilst he watched the boy from the corner of his eye. His hand slipped under the desk to gently grasp onto the blonde's, he hoped that Roxas would take that as a sign that he would be there with him the whole time.
His eyes immediately lost focus as he stared down at the desk, only hearing the drone of the teacher's voice as he continued lecturing the class. How did Mr. Hikaru manage to make a class that was supposed to be interesting, into a period of time when Axel wanted to cut his throat with his own fingernails? The redhead groaned slightly whilst resting his head on the palm of his other hand and shifted his gaze to stare blankly at the wall. Time seemed to slow down on purpose in this room, his eyes flicked to the clock before he groaned again, as usual the clock seemed to be taunting him in his misery. This would definitely be a long lesson.
He hadn't noticed that Mr. Hikaru had paused in his monotonous speech and was glaring at the blonde sitting next to the redhead, who appeared to be as zoned out as Axel was. The teacher had always been mean to Roxas, even though it was no fault of the blonde's own, he had never actually done anything to upset the man and yet he wouldn't leave the poor boy alone. Axel was jerked from his thoughts by a loud question "Roxas, Which preident is responsible for the alleged 'Water gate scandel?'" Ouch...Axel hoped that the blonde had any idea about what the teacher was talking about, because he sure as hell didn't.
Mr. Hikaru was obviously hoping to catch Roxas out so that the others could laugh at him once again. The teacher seemed to take pleasure in seeing Roxas being made fun of, especially in extreme cases of embarrassment such as this one. Axel felt sorry for the blonde in these circumstances, the boy went through enough without this teacher adding to his problems. He hoped that today wouldn't be too bad for Roxas, but things have been turning out to be really shit for him. The redhead was too scared to even breathe, afraid that the teacher might go on at him too. Axel wished that he could do something to help the blonde, he wanted to make a racket, do something to get the attention off Roxas. He would have done something, but he knew that he would get into serious trouble for making a commotion, especially in Mr. Hikaru's class. There was no doubt that he would blow it out of proportion just to see them get into more trouble than they should.
(Roxas POV)
Well, now Roxas had something to dread. He had wanted the day to go by fast, so that they could be free from this prison, hear that liberating bell ring and release them from their torment. But now that he knew he'd have to sit with people at lunch, and talk and socialize and all that other stressing stuff, he wanted time to slow down. He wanted it to come to a halt, freezing the clock and everyone around him, giving him the time and peace he needed to recover. He was sure that if he saw Zexion at lunch, if the blunette said anything to him, if he was even within earshot of the boy, Roxas would need all the strength he could muster. He needed to repair the protective walls that had fallen, that had crashed down on him and left him in this crumbling state. Without them, every tormenting word or look from Zexion would make him worse and worse. His mental state was already shot, if he had to endure any more of the boy's evil personality the blonde felt that he would break down permanently. Mental institution style.
Roxas had tuned the teacher and everyone in the room out, so that all he heard was a slight ringing noise coming from some random direction. He sat limp, sitting slightly lower in his chair than usual, arms lying motionless on his lap. He wouldn't move unless he absolutely had to; it still hurt everywhere and it was driving him mad. He was used to emotional pain, but not physical anguish. It was strange, he seemed to hate this pain beyond anything else, but the pain Axel inflicted on him was... arousing and pleasurable. Maybe it was his emotions that ruled his body and mind too?
That ringing in his head became suddenly louder and Roxas twitched slightly. He looked up to see Mr. Hikaru staring him down, a smug, all-knowing look on his ugly face. He must've asked a question, because everyone else in the classroom was looking at the blonde too. Uh, what? All he could do was stare back at the man as he struggled to remember if he heard even a word. He couldn't recall the question... he doubted if it had even registered in his subconscious. He looked around the room at the students surrounding him; they all looked ready to burst out laughing, anticipating another 'geeky' answer or none at all. He didn't dare look in Axel's direction. Although it would have made the blonde feel better, he didn't want to risk seeing the same look on his face too.
There was nothing he could do, so he just looked back to his desk and said, "I don't know." Mr. Hikaru smirked and the blonde's classmates snickered. Roxas felt his resolve slipping; why was this affecting him so much? "Well, I guess you'll just have to do some extra questions for homework then, no?" That fucker. Although he didn't mind the extra work, it would end up taking precious time away from him and Axel. Because Roxas had the red-head today, and tomorrow, and the rest of the weekend.... This lifted his mood a bit, but he still felt his irregular heartbeat as a warning sign. He couldn't help but hear the giggles of his classmates as he bent forward to lay his head on his desk, facing away from Axel. He brought his arms up to cover his face too, just incase a rogue tear decided to show itself.
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Roxas had been given an extra five paragraph essay to write, as well as the normal questions from the book that Mr. Hikaru gave every night. This would definitely limit his time with his partner. He quickly scribbled the assignments in his notebook before the bell rang. He sighed and got up from the seat, his stiff position not helping his already painful body. He winced as he stood, reaching down to pick up his messenger bag. When the blonde straightened up and got his bag over his shoulder once again, he turned to face Axel and smiled weakly. This was truly taking a lot out of him, having to stay in this horrid establishment right after being violated like he was. But he was still so sure that Zexion would get what he deserved. He headed out the door, rather slowly, heading to their next class.
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The bell rang once again, this time discharging them from English. The pain was better now, having been an hour and a half since he was in that bathroom, but it still hurt a bit. Roxas got up and waited for Axel to come to him. It was lunch period now, and he wanted to say something first. After everyone else left, including the teacher, he looked into those fiery green eyes, thankful for the affection he saw there. He needed to ask something, even though it was a stupid question. His mind was all mixed up right now anyways, so he couldn't even tell the difference between a stupid question and a logical one.
"Axel...." Once again, he was having trouble with the words. "Are your friends like the kids who make fun of me? Does... Demyx... just want me to sit with you guys so they can make fun of me too?" So they can make things worse? Because he couldn't handle that. Not now. His voice was full of the slight throbbing he still felt all over himself, in his body and heart and mind. "Because most of them didn't look too happy with... us." It was true, the disgusted looks on their faces still stuck in the blonde's mind. He moved closer to the red-head, his hand coming up to play with the collar of the boy's shirt. His fingers grazed the skin there, and he felt a sudden pull in his chest, this time one that was rejecting all physical contact. Even with Axel? Roxas didn't understand this, but he obeyed it, removing his hand and letting it drop to his side again.
(Axel POV)
Turning his head to face the blonde, Axel felt a crease spread across his forehead as the worry that was bubbling in the centre of his chest moved down to pool in his stomach. He shifted slightly, trying to somehow get rid of the uncomfortable feeling that was twisting itself into his stomach, it felt as if something was intertwining itself into his intestines in the same way that his fingers were linked with Roxas'. Staring down at the blonde's limp form, Axel felt his grip on the boy's hand tighten as he looked at Roxas. He could tell that the boy was hurting just be looking at way Roxas held himself, though the question was: What was he thinking?
He felt more than saw Roxas jump when the teacher turned to face him and squeezed his hand tightly when the boy looked up at the teacher. Axel could sense the nervousness and unhappiness emanating from Roxas' when the boy opened his mouth to answer the teacher. Seeing the smirk on Mr. Hikaru's face as the rest of the pupils around them began to snicker at the lack of intelligence in Roxas' response, Axel felt a scowl grow upon his features. It was always Roxas that went through this, none of the other students ever laughed when someone else got the answer wrong.
There was something wrong though...As Axel tried to gain Roxas' attention, he noticed that the boy was purposefully avoiding his gaze. What could be wrong? Had he done something? The redhead stared at the blonde as he lay his head on the desk and faced the other way, his hands covering his face as if shielding himself from the rest of the room. Axel felt his heart twitch in pain at the thought of not being able to help Roxas get through all of this. Why was it always him that got picked on? He knew that if he tried to stand up for the boy, it would only cause more trouble for the both of them and Roxas had already been through so much today...The only thing that Axel could do was help him with the extra work that the teacher had given to the blonde.
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As the bell rung, signaling the end of the lesson, Axel sighed and packed his books away into his satchel before standing up slowly. He caught sight of the weak smile that Roxas sent his way and smiled back reassuringly, hoping that the rest of the day would go without any more problems. Roxas had been through enough today and the redhead could see the affect that it was having on the boy. Those blue eyes...they were so dull now, almost as dull looking as they had been in Axel's dream. Dead. That's what those blue orbs looked like and it was slowly killing Axel inside. Sighing again, the redhead turned and followed Roxas out of the door, knowing that they would have the same lesson together as usual. At least that was one thing that Axel could do, he could stay with the blonde for the whole day even though he wouldn't be able to do anything in front of the teachers. He could be there for Roxas at the very least.
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Again, the bell rung after English was finished. Nothing had happened in this lesson luckily, Axel didn't think that Roxas would be able to handle any more shit today. Finally, it was lunch...Hopefully they would be able to have a break and spend some time together, they definitely needed it. Axel smiled as he walked towards Roxas having noticed that the boy had stood up and was waiting for him. That was when it hit the redhead, they had been asked to spend lunch time with his friends, normally he wouldn't have minded sitting with them but now...after everything that had happened, he wasn't so sure anymore. Especially if Zexion was going to be there, he would worry about that when the time came though, which was soon...so very soon. He looked down at those beautiful blue eyes and noticed with happiness that some life had slowly returned to them.
Axel could hear the hesitation in Roxas' voice as he listened to the boy speak and moved closer, hoping to comfort the boy in any way possible. He could hear all the pain and emotion in the blonde's voice and had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around Roxas' small figure. Would they make fun of Roxas? Axel honestly didn't think so, they weren't the kind of people to invite someone to sit at their table just to be mean to them. But then again, it had only been Demyx who had asked Axel, would the others be okay with it? Honestly, he wasn't sure what they would do or say to Roxas if he sat with them. That was when he heard the rest of what Roxas said and nodded slightly in agreement. It was true, some of the people in the group did have looks of disgust on their faces, Axel should have recognised the look on Zexion's face when he first told the group about Roxas and him being together.
But then again, there had also been people who had looked delighted by the news of the two of them being together. Larxene and Demyx for example, the others didn't really seem to care so that wasn't much of a problem. Axel smiled as Roxas moved closer to play with the collar of his shirt, his fingers skimming over the skin at the bottom of his neck slightly before the blonde pulled away. Honestly, that small touch had been the only physical contact that they had done for the last lesson and Axel was already craving more.
He sighed once more as he watched the blonde stand back and smiled again, this time reassuringly. "None of my friends are like that, they wouldn't ask you to sit at their table just to make fun of you...They're the kind of people who don't even talk to people they don't like." His hand reached out to stroke Roxas' cheek for a moment before he pulled it back again slowly, loving the feel of the boy's skin against his fingers. "I'm not gonna lie to ya though, I saw those looks as well...However that's only one or two people you know? Everyone else seemed pretty fine with it. Actually, Demyx and Larxene looked pretty happy to hear about the news." Axel smiled again as he looked over at the boy, hoping that his words would reassure Roxas, he didn't want the blonde to feel nervous anymore, especially after everything had happened. But the redhead couldn't blame him...His words to Roxas had been true though, at least some people seemed happy about the both of them. Not that anybody else's opinion mattered to him anyhow.
(Roxas POV)
Well, Roxas hoped none of Axel's friends would say anything abrasive. He didn't have the willpower - or physical strength at that - to stand up to any more abuse. His battered mind was slowly drifting off, though; maybe if anyone said anything, he wouldn't be paying attention anyways. The blonde half-hoped that he'd faint or something before he had to meet anyone. But if he just dropped unconscious, he had a strange feeling that he wouldn't wake up again. Well, he thought, at least some of himself was returning; more precisely the paranoid part.
Those gentle, loving fingers that drew burning lines over his cheek made him twitch in pain. He felt like he'd never be able to touch anyone again. It hurt in his heart, this skin-on-skin contact. It felt wrong to him, like something in his subconscious clicked and suddenly realized that what the blonde was doing was all wrong. But Roxas had his own mind about this, and he would not give up on breaking this odd spell that came over him. He knew that his apprehension materialized because of Zexion, that this scar on his heart was active again. He hated it. But - he wouldn't tell Axel about all this. He didn't need the red-head to worry about this part of himself. He would take care of it himself, somehow.
Larxene? So that's her name? And Demyx too... well, at least Roxas didn't have to worry about them. They did seem happy, maybe even oddly so.... But he didn't dwell on it. His sky blue eyes returned to gazing into those bright green orbs; it felt like he hadn't seen them in a month. The blonde's inner workings still showed plainly in his dimmed eyes, but there was still that small spark of himself hidden there too. A corner of his thin mouth turned up into something like a smile. He loved how Axel was trying to comfort him, trying to repair this paranoia. Even though it was a futile effort, Roxas was thankful for it. "Okay." It was all he could muster; all other words had disappeared from his memory, it seemed. That was happening a lot.
That apprehension was felt like a pang in his chest again; the blonde wanted Axel in his arms again, but his body wouldn't let him move forward. His legs were frozen. Maybe, if he did touch Axel, it would help work this thing out of his system. Maybe, if he made contact with his love, everything would be better. Like how you'd get rid of an allergy of yours by purposely giving yourself a reaction again and again. Maybe this affliction was the same? Roxas swallowed hard and took a step towards the red-head, closing the gap between them. He felt tears of fear welling up inside, but he wouldn't give in to them. His body and mind were both terrified of being taken again, like Zexion did, and his heart was the only one who knew Axel could be... trusted.
His shaky fingers reached up to run along the boy's neck, close to the collarbone. It felt like being stabbed by a hypodermic needle, but it was just an illusion. He remembered a saying he'd heard again and again at some point in his life: 'Love hurts.' The pain flashed over his countenance, but he moved his other hand up too, to lace with his other hand at the back of Axel's neck. "I love you...." He let out a sigh and started drawing little random patterns on the red-head's skin. "And promise me, Axel, that if I ever forget that, you'll remind me?" The blonde smiled, searching for reassurance in those eyes. "Just smack me or something. Knock me out if you have to." Joking felt good, it took his mind off of the inevitable; lunch.
"Well, let's get going." His voice fell back to emotionless. He removed his hands from behind Axel's neck, feeling both a tugging sense of regret and a relieved, calm emotion. "If the teacher comes back and sees we're not at lunch yet, we'll surely get a detention." Roxas adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder, and turned towards the door. He fake-limped his way into the hallway and towards the cafeteria. It still hurt slightly.
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He brought his hands up to push the door to the cafeteria open, feeling the air that came over him like a warning sign: 'Turn back before it's too late!' It said. It smelled like... something spicy. Tacos, maybe? Buffalo wings? The blonde never did bother checking what was for lunch beforehand. Not like it mattered anyways, he'd have to eat it whether he liked it or not. His eyes swept the room, looking for Axel's friends. He really hoped that maybe all of them went home sick or something, and that he and Axel could sit alone. But, not everything could go the way he wanted it to.
He spotted the mullet haircut that obviously belonged to Demyx, and figured that was where Axel and himself would be heading. Next to the dirty blonde, Roxas saw Larxene sitting across from him, and a bunch of the other students from this morning were sitting there too. And - oh, god, no - Zexion. He was sitting at the end of the group of friends, no one sitting to his left or across from him. Those were the only two seats left open at the table. Oh, no no no.... Roxas couldn't take this. If he had to sit next to him, if that boy touched him.... He turned to face his partner, that dull look still in his eyes. But - the spark of life that had been there before was shadowed by the fear he felt right now.
(Axel POV)
Well...it seemed as if Axel had said something right at least, the redhead truly didn't know what would make Roxas feel better at this moment in time. He had never had to deal with anything like this before, and it hurt knowing the fact that something like this would happen to the only person in his life that he cared about. He caught sight of that small upturn of the lips that displayed itself on his lover's face and couldn't help the warm smile that spread over his features at the small sign of life that made it's way back into those beautiful sapphire eyes. Even Roxas' voice sounded more full...more alive, and that immediately made Axel feel better, as if his attempts at comforting the boy had not been in vain.
Watching as Roxas hesitantly stepped towards him, Axel couldn't help but move his hand to touch the boy's side, inwardly craving the physical contact between them once more. He shivered slightly when the blonde moved his fingers along his collarbone and fought the urge to close his eyes in contented bliss. Lucky for him he hadn't closed them...The redhead looked down at Roxas and noticed the flash of pain that crossed the boy's features, creasing that beautiful face into one of agony. Worry clouded over his countenance as Axel watched the blonde and was about to ask if the boy was okay when he was interrupted.
Those words...Axel smiled and let out a small sigh of relief at hearing them once more, and closed his eyes when he felt those small patterns being drawn on the back of his neck. A grin spread across his features when he heard the rest of what Roxas said and opened his eyes to stare at sparkling blue ones. "Ya I will...but not in the way you're expecting..." The grin turned into a smirk before reverting back into a soft smile as he pulled Roxas closer, taking care to not make him uncomfortable.
Sighing softly when he heard Roxas' words, the redhead reluctantly unwrapped his arms from around the blonde and took a step back before smiling at him. "I guess you're right...as usual." He laughed before leaning down to pick up his own satchel and slung it over his back before turning to follow Roxas out of the room. Axel sighed softly as he wandered along the hall, hopefully things would turn out alright at lunch today...He had a bad feeling for some reason.
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Axel grimaced slightly as he walked into the lunchroom and inhaled the scent that was drifting towards him. Half the time, the food didn't taste anything like how it smelt, the scent was actually nice, the food on the other hand...not so good. Turning his head to survey the cafeteria, he calmly looked for his friends before spotting them at the usual table. He smiled as he noticed his usual friends and looked over to Roxas before gesturing the boy forward towards the table.
As they walked towards the table, Axel caught a flash of blue and turned to look towards the source. He spotted the sunlight filtering in through the window and reflecting off blue hair before he felt his eyes widen in shock. Shit...He had completely forgotten that Zexion would still be sitting with his friends today. After all, they didn't have a clue about what had happened and Axel bet that the blue haired boy hadn't mentioned a thing about it.
He turned his head to look down at the blonde and resisted the urge to stroke the boy's cheek, to try and comfort him in any way possible. Axel felt the concern make its way into his eyes as he looked down at Roxas before speaking softly. "Do you wanna go somewhere else to eat? I completely understand if you don't want to eat here..." If he was Roxas, he would have turned around and bolted out of the room instead of facing the person that had violated him. He felt a growl rise up in his throat as he turned back to look at Zexion calmly sitting at the table chatting with Larxene...as if nothing had happened. It was up to Roxas now, what would his lover decide to do?
(Roxas POV)
Of course he was scared out of his mind! Roxas could do nothing except stand there, wondering if he should wait for Axel to drag him over to the table. That was pretty much the only way he'd get there - Zexion was taunting him silently, pretending he hadn't done anything. It was maddening. The blonde was so upset about all of this, so scarred, and yet, silent. So was Zexion. But his silence was different. His quiet, 'normal' demeanor right now was a slap to the face for Roxas. While the blonde's choice to keep this to himself was a good thing for Zexion. He wouldn't be humiliated. While Roxas felt like he could never look anyone in the eyes again.
Sapphire orbs flickered up to look at Axel when the red-head motioned for him to follow. Oh, god. Don't let this be something else he'll regret. His feet moved, but the blonde's mind was elsewhere. Had his partner even noticed who was sitting at that table? Had he seen Zexion, and the unnatural way he was keeping his cool? Roxas felt helpless, and a silent funeral march played in the back of his skull. Axel, the only one who cared about him, didn't even care to -
The blonde stopped as Axel did. Maybe all hope wasn't lost. And then his lover spoke those words, the ones he'd been hoping to hear. Although, something stopped him from saying 'Yes!' right away. Was it that Roxas knew he'd be taking the red-head away from his friends, that Axel wanted to sit with them? Or was it that stubbornness coming out in him again? Maybe he just loved getting hurt and putting himself in danger.... Whatever the case, the next words that came from his thin, pale lips made no sense to his damaged heart. "No, I'm fine.... I won't let him get to me." He knew in the back of his mind that 'not letting him get to me' was near impossible, but he said it anyways, hoping to convince himself that he could do such a thing.
"I swear." A small smile graced his tired features, the veil of confidence coming in his eyes again. It was fake. Hopefully no one would be able to tell. A now steady hand came up to brush fingers against Axel's hand. It still felt wrong to touch him. Now he was beginning to become worried about this.... Maybe he'd be afraid of contact forever. But his stubbornness came through again as he vowed to himself - he'd fix this. The blonde hoped that he and his partner would have time after school today to... help Roxas fix this problem of his. It felt strange even thinking about it.
Roxas didn't want to look like he chose to sit with Axel's friends, so he let the red-head lead the way. That funeral march started playing in his head again. They reached the table, and he saw those sharp eyes of the blunette's. A shiver of utter terror ran down his spine, but he halted the reaction from entering his eyes. He could show no weakness. He wouldn't show any sign of succumbing to the boy's treatment of him. No matter what he said. Or did. Oh, goodness, if he tried to even lay a finger on the blonde, he would probably completely lose it. Although it was reassuring that Axel would also, most likely, lose it and beat the shit out of Zexion. That was a pleasant thought.
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Done~ Hope you guys like it?
Poor Roxas already having to sit next to Zexion…What will happen next? XD
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