Chapter 24

Costia was finally about to reach the village. Titus stalled, and stalled, saying that he was waiting for the Commander's approval, until one day Costia was done waiting on Titus and approached the Commander herself after class. She asked politely yet determinedly for his permission.

Lexa gawked at her from afar, thinking "unbelievable."

She was even more baffled when the Commander agreed on the spot.

"If you don't try, you never achieve anything in life, Alexandra," Costia teased as she approached her friend that day and saw the shock on her face.

But that was three days ago, and now, after three weeks of waiting on Titus to no avail, she was finally home.

She didn't tell anyone she was coming. Since her father was dead silent ever since she was discovered, even though he learned the news from Lexa, Costia decided to just show up and go from there.

Lexa was still freaking out up until when Costia left, trying to convince her for the umpteenth time not to go alone, but Costia just rolled her eyes, told Lexa "stop worrying" and finally left.

Lexa understood logically that anyone who might cross Costia's path would be subjected to immediate danger if they misbehaved around her friend, but she couldn't not worry. She was in love with Costia and her petite best friend disappeared into the horizon, getting smaller by the minute, all alone.

Costia tried not to think about it. She felt guilty knowing how worried her friend was when she left, but she had to go. If the tables were turned Lexa would've gone, too, and just knowing that told Costia that she was doing the right thing.

She was hoping that the note she left in Lexa's room that morning, saying "I'll be back before you know it," with a fresh loaf of bread she managed to guilt the bakery owner into giving her, would sweeten the sour feeling she left Lexa with.

And it's not that Lexa didn't have a reason to worry, people did disturb her along the way, but as predicted, Costia left a little trail of beat up grown men as she rode along.

First they'd approach her on their own horses or by foot, a cunning smile on their faces. They'd ask her to get off the horse. She'd grimace, say "no thanks," and try to keep going. Then, they'd try to grab the horse which really pissed her off. This was Lexa's horse for years and Costia had every intention of bringing it back to Polis safely and well cared for.

"You don't want to do that," she repeated time and again to the men who would then just tag along. Then she'd sigh and say "You really don't want to do that. I'm a Natblida from Polis." They'd hesitate for a second, and then remember that there was no logical explanation for a young Natblida to be traveling by her lonesome. And that was when she resulted to violence. No one died, but many egos were bruised and by the time she finally reached Ton DC, the rumors of the thirteen year old whom made men four times her size eat sand, reached other travelers and people left her be.

And now she was finally here, walking through the gates, nodding at some familiar faces. People bowed their heads.

They all know, she realized. Two Nightbloods from the same village were a rare thing. Costia and Lexa made them proud. It was an omen for good luck, Costia knew.

How nice that they get to be proud while we get to be dead, Costia thought bitterly.

She didn't want to think about that. She wanted to see Dara, and her father, and her baby brother. Her father being silent also meant that they didn't come to visit.

How dare he, Costia thought, glaring as she walked toward the bungalow, keeping my brother away from me?

She got herself all worked up. As far as she was concerned she had reasons to be upset, too. All that talk about how she lied all these years, she wanted it to occur to her loved ones that it wasn't exactly something that she enjoyed doing. At least it seemed like Lexa had grown to understand it. Costia was so grateful to have her best friend, even if she didn't really have her.

You do have her, you always have her, and she has you, even if it's not in the way you both wish it was.

She finally reached her home and could see Nardo through the window. It was mid-day, she knew Dara would be working. Aden could've either gone to work with her, the customers loved him, or be at home with Nardo. But her father seemed focused on something, and it was quiet. She concluded Aden must have gone with Dara.

She stood by the window, voiceless for a moment, he didn't notice her, but she enjoyed looking at his profile, let the anger wash away while she was watching her favorite man in the world.

"So you knew from Leksa's letter and you still didn't write or visit this entire month," she finally said matter-of-factly, making is head snap toward the window. "You must be really mad," she concluded.

He jumped off his chair and opened the door. She rushed in and he grabbed her and took her in for a bone-crushing embrace. He didn't say anything and neither did she. He just kept holding her tight until eventually she started crying. She managed to keep it together for four weeks, only getting teary eyed when talking to Lexa about all the heavy things between them. But now, in her father's arms, Costia broke down and was completely sobbing.

"Daddy…" she managed to mumble in between sobs, "I'm sorry."

He didn't say a single word, he just let her cry and cry for ten more minutes until she was all teared out. He finally let her go, and pulled out a chair for her. As she sat down he fixed her a glass of water.

"I'm glad you're home daughter," he offered sincerely.

"Me, too, but if you wanted to see me why didn't you just visit?" she questioned miserably. "Or write?"

"You didn't write either," he pointed out.

"I didn't know what to say."

"Neither did I," he admitted. "I just needed some time to process, Kostia. To…"

"Mourn?" she provided, knowing where he was coming from.

"Don't say that."

She nodded and sniffed. She didn't like ignoring the truth but at the same time she saw the moment was hard on her father, too, and there was no reason to push him.

"I wish you would've told me," he sighed sadly. "Your mother…"

"Was the one who told me to make sure you never found out," Costia admitted.

He looked at her in surprise, in disappointment. If it would've been Costia's decision, he could've blamed it on her being a young girl who was born somewhere else and didn't understand the magnitude of this lie. But Costia knew what she was doing, and Costia wasn't the driving force of this deception. Not originally, anyway. Her mom, however, was an adult, who knew what Nightblood meant for Nardo's people.

"Face it, dad, mom didn't want you to know," Costia added remorsefully. "I think she didn't want to put you in the position of having to deal with it."

Costia couldn't tell if her father was more hurt over the fact that she never told him, or over the fact that she got discovered.

"Instead you had to," he pointed out.

"She couldn't have predicted Aleks and how much of a burden it would actually be," Costia shrugged. "She just tried to keep her daughter safe. It may have started as me fulfilling her request, but eventually I realized what I was doing, Dad. And it was my choice," she explained. She didn't want to let him down, but she had to be honest about not regretting her actions either.

He remained quiet.

"Please don't be mad. I know this puts shame on you, but…"

"No shame, daughter. Those people have no idea," he clarified, gesturing at the world outside their window. "They'd never dream to insinuate that a daughter of mine hid the truth about her blood. They will believe any other story that you'd tell them, as long as they get two Natblidas from the same village. And even if they don't believe you, so what?"

"So you are not upset?"

"No. I really do wish you would've told me but I understand why you couldn't."

They sat for another hour as Costia told him everything. Starting with the discovery on the day she was born, through getting to Ton DC and understanding what the Nightblood meant and how it could affect her relationship with Lexa, and up until the month it's been since Lexa found out, and eventually asking the Commander to let her come home. She even told him about the kiss between Lexa and herself. She could finally live with no secrets and she was at least going to do that.

"I'm sorry, daughter. This must have been hard on you. We were all rooting for the both of you to get together," he admitted.

"You were?"

"Yes, of course. A few more years and you could've been binded to each other," he shook his head, mourning for both himself and his daughter for the things that could never be. "You two were probably the last ones to understand what was going on between you."

"You must be right because this is not the first time I'm hearing this," Costia chuckled. It was nice to be able to laugh about some of this, among all the tears and the heartbreak, find the humor, even if it was the cynical type.

He offered her his own bittersweet smile and then gave her a moment since he could tell she was gathering her thoughts.

"You need to keep coming to Polis to visit and you need to treat Aleks like you always have," Costia ordered. "None of this is her fault."

"Of course it's not," Nardo snorted, "And of course we will. She wrote while you didn't. She always was way more well behaved than you," he pointed out with a teasing glare.

"One of the many reasons why she would make a great leader," Costia stated with conviction.

"Kostia…" Nardo warned. He was afraid she was already giving up.

"Let's not talk about this anymore, father," Costia pleaded.

"Alright," he agreed softly. "And what of you two?" he asked cautiously.

"What of us?" Costia scoffed. This was yet another topic she didn't particularly want to discuss.

"Don't you want to make the time you have count?"

"To what end?" Costia inquired sarcastically.

"So you can be happy until the end," he pointed out, trying to remain calm in the face of Costia's obvious irritation. "You have to try everything in life at least once, otherwise how would you know?"

He always said that, heck, she said something similar to Lexa right after she talked to the Commander, yet she wasn't going to listen.

"And then one of us will live the rest of her life knowing she killed her own soul mate?" Costia blurted brokenly.

He looked at her straight in the eye but didn't say a word. Ultimately, that decision was hers and Lexa's, and he wasn't entirely sure what he would've done in their place.

"I think I'm going to rest for a bit," Costia decided and got off the chair. "I'm tired from my travels. But I won't sleep for long," she promised softly.

"Dara and Aden will be very glad you're home."

"It's good to be home," Costia confirmed happily. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the room.

"There you go," he handed her a small bag with powder.

"Leksa would be very happy, it's a pleasure doing business with you," Costia raised the bag in his direction as a gesture of gratitude.

"I'd like to think I do this because we are friends," Nyko huffed.

"Of course we are friends, Nyko, no need to get emotional," she teased.

"Real friends don't leave other friends to go to Polis and die in a conclave!" he pointed out.

"Mine did," Costia shrugged. "When I was nine. I'd say you are lucky to have had four more wonderful years with me."

"Technically you've been in Polis for two years now," he reminded.

"Nyko?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Fine," he surrendered and they were left to sit in comfortable silence.

"Any word from Linkoln?" She asked, hopeful. True to his word, her friend has been silent ever since he left Polis three months prior.

"Not really," Nyko replied sadly. He was left lonely, too. Just like Lincoln, just like herself. She was wondering what Lincoln would say if he heard about everything that happened. "We had some traders from floukru over. They said they came across him and he asked to send his regards and say he was happy."

"Good, I'm glad," Costia stated sincerely. Her friend has been torn for a while. She loved knowing that his journeys actually helped.

And he got to see the shore, like he wanted.

"I don't even think he knows," she voiced her thoughts.

"About your recent… development?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure he'll find out eventually," Nyko concluded.

"I just wanted a chance to say goodbye," Costia explained softly.

"Is this what this visit is about? Saying goodbye?" Nyko asked with a grimace.

"Yeah, I mean, even without thinking about the future, I won't be able to come back and visit," she pointed out.

He nodded in sad understanding.

"You should come visit sometime, Nyk, if Kay ever let's you go," Costia teased. "I know how you feel about Polis healers but the markets are amazing. Maybe you'll find some great new ingredients to try on yourself so you can grow a second head," Costia joked lightly and earned herself a chuckle.

"I just might, old friend. I just might."

"Is she happy?" Anya inquired the following day. Costia was surprised. Anya was never one to talk about feelings, but then again Costia was always her connection to Lexa. Costia would come back and visit and Anya could paint a picture about Lexa's life in Polis just by listening to Costia's updates. Now, Costia realized, Anya was losing the lifeline. "I mean I know what Indra tells me, her assumptions," Anya explained, "but it's not the same as hearing it from you."

Costie realized Indra knew Anya wanted to know in more depth without Anya ever needing to ask.

Bless Indra, she thought and tried to figure out how to reply to Anya's question.

"She's happy as she can be," Costia smiled gently, because it was the sad truth and because thinking about Lexa, seeing Lexa in her head, always brought a smile to her face. "She's the best one in our class," Costia continued proudly. "It's not the fighting, it's her beautiful, beautiful brain, her understanding of strategy, her compassion. Everything about her," Costia finished dreamily.

"I always had a feeling she'd be Heda one day, but I thought maybe I'm thinking it because she was mine, you know?" Anya confessed uncharacteristically.

"I do know, but it's not just you. She is special," Costia pointed out. "Then again, she's mine, too."

Anya smiled at her but said nothing.

"Aren't you going to say anything about how we were the last ones to understand what we are and how tragic our story is?" Costia mocked, masking her true feelings.

"No, kid, I won't," Anya replied softly, surprising Costia by putting a soft hand on her shoulder. "And she'll remain yours, no matter what."

Costia appreciated the sentiment, but even that small mention of the subject that kept coming up no matter who she'd spoken to made her feel suffocated. She needed to change the topic, and she needed to head back home, anyway. It was almost time to head back to Polis.

She offered Anya a thankful smile and got up.

"You should come visit sometime. She's going to love that," Costia offered, knowing there was no need to explain who "she" was.

"I'll think about it," Anya promised. "Be good, Kostia, and watch over her."

"I always do."

Costia and Nardo were right outside the gates of Ton DC. She was preparing Lexa's horse for the trip back to Polis.

"You sure you don't want a travel companion?" Nardo asked in concern. She was his baby no matter how old or fierce of a warrior she was.

Just as Nardo was done asking the question, a merchant came toward the village, clearly spotting behind them a colleague of his who was just about to leave Ton DC.

"Hey!" the approaching merchant called, "careful out there! There are rumors of a girl who keeps beating up travelers! They named her the Tiny Menace."

"Good to know, thank you," his colleague said gratefully as they met by the gate, Nardo and Costia witnessed the whole thing.

"I think I'll be okay, Daddy," she smirked at him.

He gave her a hearty laugh. "That's my girl."

"The nickname is a bit excessive, though. It was only like, five guys, and they deserved it."

"I'm sure they did," Nardo looked at his daughter lovingly.

"Daddy, Daddy!" a three year old toddler joined them, Dara following closely behind holding a staff. "You forgot Kostia's present!"

"I didn't forget it, I just wanted you to give it to her," Nardo messed Aden's hair.

"What is it, little brother?" Costia asked with a chuckle.

"It's a Bo!" Aden announced, trying to grab it from his mother, but it was too heavy and Nardo grabbed the other end of it just before it tipped Aden over.

"What do you give the warrior who doesn't appreciate killing very much?" Nardo hypothized sheepishly and gave his daughter the Bo.

"You made this?" Costia asked in awe, examining the wood work, touched by the gesture.

"I did, daughter, I started working on it when Leksa first sent her letter," he confessed, happy that Costia seemed to be taken by the weapon. "Let them use swords. This is more you."

"It is," she agreed. He carved the outline of Mount Weather as a pattern on the side of it. Not the bunker, just the view. It took her breath away. "Thank you," she hugged him.

"Don't be mistaken though, girl, if you need to kill…" he grabbed the Bo from her and showed her a switch in the side of the Bo. A blade popped out from a hidden compartment at one of the Bo's ends.

"I could also break necks with this, if need be," Costia pointed out, thinking it's a much cleaner solution.

"I prefer you have all the options."

"I prefer to not have to choose," Costia smiled at him, loving that he made something personalized for her, that he knew she'd also choose a dismantle over a kill. It was unorthodox for a Natblida to use anything other than a sword.

Titus is going to hate it, the thought made her even happier.

"Thank you, Daddy, it's beautiful."

"We love you," Nardo said.

"I love you too, I'll see you soon."

They all huddled in a little group hug, Aden just about tall enough to hug Costia's leg. She bent down to kiss him on his forehead.

"Don't do anything silly, brother," she warned lovingly.

"I won't!" he promised.

She pulled away and got on the horse.

She started riding, looking back at them, thinking that she had just lost another home. She found it fitting, considering she was on her way to a little sight-seeing stop, to watch over the first home she'd ever lost, the one that her father commemorated on her Bo.

Notes:

1. It was essential for me to explore the immediate aftermath of Costia's reveal at length. Not just the effect it had on her, but on other characters, too, most of all Lexa. This is why this chapter is a bit Costia-centric and why we had a few chapters in a row happening in close proximity. But after this one it was time to move on from the discovery itself and start dealing with the new normal.

2. I like the idea that for the Grounders the discovery of a Nightblood in their village meant good luck. They always take such pride and honor in everything that has to do with Nightblood that this made sense to me.

2. Floukru – Boat People in Trigedasleng. This is another tie in to canon in which the only difference is that Costia was number eight and not Luna. But Lincoln still made it over there on his travels and learned all about them, including the whole – "put a leaf in the fire to summon us" thing.

3. The Bo - a bo as in Donatello the Ninja Turtle's weapon (he happens to be my favorite,) not as in bow. I wanted a "pacifist weapon" for Costia, but one that could still be deadly. So imagine her walking around with a staff looking weapon in her hand or attached to her back. Also – see note 63.

4. Unorthodox! There it is again! Name dropping another fic!

5. Spoiler – "don't do anything silly, brother" - of course very soon he'll do something silly indeed and will be discovered as a Nightblood, too, which should come as a surprise to no one. I believe this is what the kids call foreshadowing.