Well, Christian still couldn't decide which faith to adopt, so he thought that we should just try them all out. His new plan was that we would go to a catholic service, a Jewish service, and a Muslim service, and the one we didn't fall asleep in was the one we would choose to become. It would be a sign from God.
So the very next Sunday we went to a catholic mass. It was very quiet and holy in that cathedral, so I was mortified when halfway through the service I began passing an enormous amount of gas.
"Holy Crap, Christian," I whispered.
"What?" he whispered back.
"I keep letting out these silent farts. What should I do?"
"You should get your hearing aid fixed," he suggested.