Here you go! Next chapter.
As of yet, Team 1 has not figured out who the 'ugly one' is, Deidara and a knocked out Lee are on their way to visit Gaara which will be interested considering everyones past history XD
And now over to Team 4 who as of yet have no made an appearance – Kakuzu, Pein, Kabuto, Tenten and Kiba Inuzuka…
Does anyone find it weird that barely any of them has a known last name?
Anyway, enjoy!
Tenten sat with her arms crossed and her left leg folded over her right as she gazed at Kakuzu with narrowed eyes.
Her entire posture and body language gave off an unintended hostility that the miser could really care less for.
He had never been afraid of teenage girls and he wasn't about to start now.
It was the brunettes unwavering gaze that was annoying him.
Ever since they sat down three hours ago she had been watching him.
He disagreed with the whole 'band together with Konoha' idea and Pein knew it – probably the reason he had been placed in the same team as the Akatsukis feared leader in the first place.
Kakuzu glanced down at Tenten with a glare as she tugged on his sleeve.
In a deep, menacing tone he growled, "What…?"
Tenten smiled at him smugly, pleased to have captured his attention.
"Did you ever try to kill Tobi?"
Kakuzu winced slightly.
He had indeed tried to kill Tobi… Many times…
Although it was something he had hoped to keep secret so that his failure would not be mocked by a certain foul mouthed priest.
The answer 'No' was on his lips but as he opened his mouth to give his answer, he caught sight of Pein glaring at him through narrowed eyes.
Kakuzu silently cursed.
Pein could always tell if someone was lying, it was a 'gift' apparently…
Gritting his teeth angrily he murmured,
"Yes… I tried to kill Tobi."
Pein raised an eyebrow in surprise but said nothing, trusting the annoying little leaf shinobi to squeeze the truth out of the miser.
Kakuzu sighed, might as well start at the beginning...
"Tobi? Are you ready to go?"
"YES KAKUZU-SAMA-SENSEI-SEMPAI-SAN-SAMA! TOBI HAS NEVER BEEN TO A FESTIVAL BEFORE!"
Kakuzus eye twitched violently at the mans screaming and unnecessary use of multiple (and stupid) honorifics.
This was almost more trouble that its wor-
Actually what the hell was he thinking?
Getting rid of Tobi was DEFINITELY worth the trouble he was going to.
In fact, it was well worth the trouble.
Little over a week ago he had been sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee and reading The Shinobi Times as per his morning ritual, when he caught site of an advertisement in the 'Upcoming Events' section of the paper.
Apparently, there would be a festival a few villages away.
Normally Kakuzu would have dismissed the ad altogether but his attention was drawn back to it when Deidara ambled up behind him and glimpsed the headline, pointing it out as he dried his coffee mug.
"Hmmm? I've been to that festival once before. Lots of fun, but sucks the money right out of your pockets, un."
Every thing the enigmatic blonde said was ignored until one certain word made an appearance.
Dollar signs flashed before Kakuzus eyes at the mention of 'money' and he found himself rereading the advertisement.
After 10 minutes he decided he would set up a stall at the festival.
After an hour he decided he would sell things and sometime after that Tobi was somehow incorporated into his plan.
Before long, his master plan consisted of a knife throwing game… With Tobi being the target…
Fool proof, no?
Despite his age, never once in his 91 years had Kakuzu actually been to a festival.
The rest of the Akatsuki had teased him mercilessly about it when he voiced his desire to attend.
He had decided quite a while ago that he would tell no one of his assassination plan.
Of course he wouldn't fail, but on the odd chance that he did, no one would ever know.
It might have had something to do with the 300$ bet he made with Hidan about who would succeed in killing the orange masked man first between the two of them.
Instead of incorporating anyone else of the Akatsuki into his plan, Kakuzu instead rented several videos heavily featuring festivals and circuses and the likes.
After all, he had to know what to say to attract as many customers as possible.
When the final movie finished, he was a self proclaimed expert on festivals.
"Roll up, Roll up and uhh… Have fun with this game thing I invented!"
Despite his expertise, even Kakuzu had to admit he sounded lame.
His own reluctant opinion was supported by the sniggers and strange glares passersby shot him.
As much as he was an expert on festivals, Tobi was an expert of rubbing your nose in your mistakes and failures.
"Kakuzu-sama-sensei-sempai-san-sama, I don't think anyone is coming…"
The miser growled under his breath.
Tobis ridiculous talking was attracting more people than the game itself.
Decked out in orange clothes with a large red target painted on his chest, mask and crotch, Tobi stood against a large blue backboard that he was required to run along to escape the knives that would be thrown at him.
Not that anyone would miss, Kakuzu mused, over half of the festivals population were ninja.
"Hey look, a knife throwing game-dattebayo!"
And speaking of which…
"Sakura-chan, watch me win a prize!"
Closed eyes curved up in delight, Kakuzu hurried over to equip a certain hyper active blonde with the knives he was required to throw.
Of course, as well as this being a nefarious plot to destroy a comrade, it was also a money making scheme and as such, each knife was 6 coins each… A bit rich considering that every other stall gave contestants 4 knives for 1 coin.
Fortunately, Naruto didn't look at the price before he decided to play, waltzing over and grabbing four knives.
Tobi squawked with fright as several of the throwing knives flew in his direction.
Much to Kakuzus delight and annoyance, Tobi was much better at evading sharp, flying objects than he thought; probably because he had constant practice back in the lair.
Naruto seemed just as annoyed that Tobi was escaping, clearly having his heart set on winning the top prize – a large red three bladed scythe.
"What a cool weapon! You'll go on a date for sure if I carry that around right, Sakura-chan?"
Kakuzu didn't fail to notice the pink haired girls face palm and groan of annoyance.
Poor girl…
Fortunately, Naruto did and continued grasping knives from the box provided and flinging them at the rapid orange blur that was Tobi.
When Naruto ran out of throwing knives, he growled angrily and reached into his weapons pouch, proceeding to throw his own kunai – clearly quite intent on winning the scythe.
A small drop of sweat ran down Kakuzus forehead in exasperation and he sighed.
Konoha shinobi were supposed to be better than this.
Waving his hands to catch the blonde boys attention, he called out,
"Okay that's enough. You've used up all my throwing knives. Time to pay up. If you want another turn then wait til I've retrieved them all."
Naruto nodded and grumbled, reaching into his pocket for his froggy pouch.
He shrieked in terror when he saw the price of each knife and a thread extended from Kakuzus arm to stop him escaping.
With a slight stutter, Naruto gulped,
"Umm… How many knives did I use?"
"All of them… 46."
Narutos mouth dropped open in horror,
"But that means I owe you…uh… 20…17… ummm…"
Kakuzu glanced at his female companion and noticed that she too was staring at Naruto in disbelief at his terrible mathematics.
She actually looked slightly embarrassed.
The blonde shinobi furrowed his brows in frustration and began to count on his fingers, still muttering random numbers under his breath.
"18… no, 46, no wait that was the amount of knives… times by uhh… 6 which means I have to divide 22 by 4 and find the common denominator…"
"…376."
Naruto glanced up at Kakuzu with his mouth slightly open and his fingers counting each other.
"Huh?"
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the boy before him.
"376 coins. That's how much you owe me."
Naruto cried out in horror, obviously not having enough money.
Before Kakuzu could strangle him however, the blonde boy jumped up and down and cried out,
"Wait wait! I got him! I win a prize!"
The miser raised a brow and glanced to where the boy was pointing.
A very scared Tobi was curled up in the corner of the stand with a kunai piercing the material of his sleeve to the backboard.
Narrowing his eyes, Kakuzu walked over and inspected him.
Naruto chewed his fingernails nervously when the man pulled the knife out of the board and glanced at Tobis arm.
He sighed and shook his head, moving back towards the blonde.
"No prize."
"WHHHAAAAT?! WHY NOT!? I GOT HIM-DATTEBAYO!"
Kakuzu growled and rubbed his temple, feeling a migraine coming on.
Holding up the knife he had retrieved, he pointed to it.
"No blood."
"Huh?"
Sighing at having to repeat himself, the miser shook the knife forcefully and replied,
"There is no blood on the knife. So you don't get a prize."
For the first time that day, the pink haired girl, Sakura walked over to the two squabbling men and voiced her confusion.
"Wait… Blood? Are you saying that's an actual person and not a shadow clone?"
Kakuzu looked at her like she was stupid and uncharacteristically mumbled,
"Duh."
A look of horror came across the girls face at his obvious disregard for human life.
Naruto seemed more confused than anything, not really grasping the situation in the first place.
"How dare you! This poor boy! I'm notifying the management of you! What's his name?"
Not really giving a shit, Kakuzu replied in a bored monotone, "Tobi."
Turning to the sniffing man in the mask, Sakura held out her hand,
"Come on Tobi, you can come with us. We'll take you somewhere you will be cared for."
Tobi jumped up excitedly and stumbled over to the two Hidden Leaf shinobi, one of which was still dead confused as to what was going on.
Temporarily forgetting the entire reason for his being there, Kakuzu held up his hand,
"Now wait a second, if you are taking him away then you are ridding me of my way of living. I demand compensation in the form of money."
Sakura threw her nose in the air snobbily and replied,
"Fine. Not that someone like you deserves any for what you have done to this poor man."
Reaching into her bag, Sakura pulled out a small wad of notes, enough to cover the bill Naruto had raised as well as a bit of money to pay for Tobi.
Beaming with joy, Kakuzu accepted the money and watched as they left, slightly disappointed that he didn't get anymore.
He packed up in silence, irritated with himself for bringing so many things.
Among the prizes that could have been won was Hiruko (Sasoris puppet), A bundle of chakra rods (freshly stolen from Peins 5 spare bodies), a large assortment of origami figures, several of Kisames pet fish, bagged and ready to go, a large potted plant, a framed picture of Sasuke Uchiha and four bags of clay…
A the giant red three bladed scythe of course.
It was troublesome to carry back to the lair but worth it.
Somewhere along the way, Kakuzu realized he had managed to get rid of Tobi and had stopped dead in his tracks.
Very slowly, a grin spread across his face that threatened to tear his stitches and break.
Smirking in satisfaction, he walked off into the sunset.
Tenten listened quietly to Kakuzus tale.
Kiba, Kabuto and Akamaru had also gathered around and were sitting in a circle with their legs crossed giving the miser their full attention.
Pein hadn't moved from his crossed legged, folded armed position on the log across from them and was narrowing his eyes in remembrance.
Somehow in the back of his head he remembered this festival… but only just.
Being the smart ass she was, Tenten piped up,
"But that can't be the end? You said that Itachi had just attempted to get rid of him and as far as I know, that PMSing blonde girl, the premature graying tourettes man and Jaws tried to kill him after that as well."
Kakuzu growled at her.
"I wasn't finished…"
With a days walk left to the lair, Kakuzu set up camp in the woods (being too cheap to rent a room for th night) and built a small fire.
He sat their peacefully, glad to be on his way home and away from Tobi, silently regretting taking the Akatsukis things to give away as prizes.
When he got back he would buy Hidan a brand new ritual spear and that big, heavy book on Jashinism the man had been sadly eyeing in the nearby villages bookshop for the past 3 weeks.
Kakuzu had initially refused to buy it, the book being rather expensive and all, but he decided he owed Hidan an apology.
It was with a small shock that he realized how cruel he had been to the zealot throughout their partnership.
I mean, Hidan really wasn't that bad – a bit cheeky and constantly swore but that was about it…
A wave of guilt washed over Kakuzu at the thought of the lovely friendship they could have had.
Perhaps he would stop at the book shop on the way back and buy that damn book after all.
Reaching into his pocket with a small smile, Kakuzu fumbled for the wad of bills he had earned, intent on counting it to make sure he had enough.
His smile turned into a small frown, which turned into a horrified grimace when he realized it wasn't in his pocket.
Someone must have snatched it! Dammit!
His head fell into his hands in despair at the thought of someone else with his "hard earned" money.
"Selfish bastards… I was going to buy that book for Hidan…"
"What were you going to buy Hidan a book for Kakuzu-sama-sensei-sempai-san-sama?"
Kakuzus head shot up in surprise and fury at the voice he heard but he quickly furrowed his brows in confusion upon catching a glimpse of the man he hated so much.
Tobi was wearing all new clothes and carrying a great many bags.
Kakuzu gaped in shock when the man dropped them down and glared suspiciously when a bag of lollies and a cheap toy fell out of one.
Seeing his questioning stare, Tobi happily said,
"Tobi came back to find you because Sakura said Tobi was annoying-" Kakuzu smirked in agreement, "-but you were gone. Where did you go Kakuzu-sama-sensei-sempai-san-sama!? Tobi was all alone!"
Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the mans idiocy and crossed his arms, waiting for the rest of the story.
"Tobi found a lot of money where Kakuzu-sama-sensei-sempai-san-samas stall was-" Kakuzus head shot up in shock,"- and Tobi went on a spending spree! Look! Tobi bought every show bag in the entire festival!"
There was a small pause before Kakuzu stood up.
His face was rapidly turning red and his fists were clenching tightly.
Inwardly he growled, when we get back I am going to pound Hidan into the ground and burn his scythe for failing to kill Tobi…
Pein snorted in amusement
"I wondered why you were so angry that day. Festivals are supposed to be fun."
Kabuto also sniggered, finding the Akatsuki in general to be complete idiots.
Kiba looked indifferent, for once silent and seemed to be deep in thought.
Tenten however, smirked at the story and dismissed Kakuzu with a wave of her hand.
"Pathetic. That hardly counts as an attempt. What a failure you are."
A yelling match soon ensued between the two, Kakuzu hollering curses that he had only ever heard from Hidan and Tenten screaming the many threats that she had practiced on Lee and Neji.
Pein and Kabuto sniggered and exchanged comments, clearly entertained by the two, although Pein was silently cursing Kakuzu for failing as well.
Out of the blue, Kiba sat up and cried out,
"Hey! Wait a minute!"
Tenten and Kakuzu ceased their fighting and glared at him with narrowed eyes.
Pointing accusingly and the miser, Kiba cried,
"46 times 6 is 276… Not 376. You were trying to rip Naruto off!"
Kakuzu grimaced at being caught out while everyone sent him looks of disgust and rolled eyes.
Even Pein closed his ringed orbs and sighed in exasperation.
Poor Naruto…
Haha so there you go.
Little Kuribohs 'Ninjabridge' reference in there to anyone who has watched it (I have been.. waaaaay too much)
Kakuzus attempt complete!
So that maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakes… Uh…
4… no… 7 divided by 2… umm… 71 times the first prime number under 8…
11 attempts I think lol.
Hope you enjoyed!
Rates and reviews always appreciated :D