Way 49
Do you say yes all the time? Use no when you mean it, even if they don't like it.
"Dad, can I—?"
"No."
"But Dad, I just wanted to—"
"No."
"How can you keep saying no, you don't even know what I was going to ask?"
"Actually, I do know what you were going to ask. You were going to ask if you could inspect the riding lawnmower which, in Virgil-speak, means taking it apart to the very last nut and bolt, and then not being able to get it back together again so I have to buy the fifth lawnmower in as many months."
"That's not what I was going to ask."
"Don't pout, son. Go wash up for dinner."
"Jeff?"
"Mm?"
"What's the matter with Virgil?"
"Oh, he's just unhappy because I told him no."
"Maybe you ought to try saying yes once in a while. It works wonders."
"If you say so, Luce."
Author's Note: Way 50 is a companion piece to Way 49.
Way 50
Do you say no all the time? Say yes once in a while.
"Dad, can I—?"
"Yes."
…
…
"Really?"
"Yep. Really."
"But you don't even know what I was going to ask!"
"I'm trying something out for your mother. So the answer is yes."
"All right! Thanks, Dad!"
"Jeff?"
"Yeah."
"Honey, why is Virgil out in the front yard taking the riding lawnmower apart?"
…
…
"Jeff? Why are you facepalming?"