I am sorry. I'm having issues with this at the minute and I have so much other stuff to write, including a multi-chapter birthday fic which is no-where near ready and I've been so ridiculously busy recently that it's just hard to try and find time to actually sit down and work out how the heck I'm going to write this. But I'm getting there, I'll get past this block eventually. But, in the mean time, thank you for being patient and lovely. It means a lot 3
It's a short chapter, I know. The next one will be longer, I promise!
Disclaimer: if you spot the Doctor Who reference I will send you cookies
"Alright, Castle. Out with it." He's been staring at her all evening, and she knows that he's been swallowing down all the words and sentences and paragraphs that he's dying to tell her. "Castle, if you're angry at me, just say it. No point hiding it."
"No, I'm not angry. I'm … not. You apologised, and that's okay. But… we should talk. Really, there's a lot of stuff we should talk about. And not just what happened in the past couple of days. There's… so much and I think we should just get it out in the open now."
She knew it was coming. If she had any sort of courage when it came to relationship issues she'd have broached it before, but she hasn't. She keeps things bottled up and hopes that over time they'll resolve themselves. They rarely do, and she never learns. But at least Castle has the audacity to do it for her. "Yeah. Yeah, we… do."
"I don't know where you want to go from here. Or if you want to go anywhere from here. Kate, you know I want to make this work. But if we just keep having arguments and you keep storming out this isn't going to work and I'm not going to waste my time, and not only my emotions but Alexis' too."
"I know, I know. I want to make this work, Castle. I do. I just don't know how. For six years it's been me and Harry and I've never needed anyone other than my father, and it just… it takes some time to get used to it. I never really thought about how my actions affect other people, and now they do, and occasionally they're not the best and I pay the price for them-"
"Kate, you've said all of this before. Or some version of it."
"I don't know what you want me to say!" she retaliates, trying to stop the anger coursing through her veins. "I messed up. I know that. But you did too, in some way. And we both said sorry. And I don't know what you want me to say. I really don't. I can say I'll try. I'll try and be better for you and for Alexis, for Harry too, but I don't know how, Castle."
"You don't need to be better for Harry, Kate. You're the best mother she could ever ask for." He sits down next to her and reaches for her hand. "Honestly, I'm not asking you for everything. I just want to know that you're in this. Like, really, properly actually in this. Not just because you think that it means Harry has a more permanent father figure. Take Harry out of the equation, just for this. I want you to be doing this because you want to. For you."
Kate looks down at his hand, lay flat on the leather of the sofa. All she has to do is just… reach out and place her hand on top. All she has to do, really. Can she? He's looking at her expectant and hopeful and maybe a little bit impatient, and maybe this means more to him than it does to her, maybe he has higher expectations and bigger dreams but she finds that she doesn't want to be the one who breaks them. Not his, and especially not Alexis'. He's good for Harry, and he's good for her and she'd be a fool to let that go. So, she puts her hand on top of his and finds that she can't stop herself from smiling.
It's an oddly romantic evening after that. Castle pours them both some wine and searches his way through his vast DVD collection and comes up with some suggestions that she has to turn down. She doesn't want sappy romantic comedy's that are so ridiculously cliché it makes her nauseous. It seems Castle is rather happy with that too, considering he then gets ridiculous excited and promptly puts some indie film on. Something about zombies and the end of the world. Zombies. She can live with zombies.
"This is my favourite movie about zombies, ever." He says, giddy as a child when he returns to the sofa and sits down heavily next to her, pulls her into his side like they've been doing this for years. "Actually, I think it's in my top five movies of all time."
"This better be good, Castle."
"Zombies, Kate. Anything with zombies is bound to be good."
"Setting yourself up for a fall there. This better be good."
"You are going to love it. I one hundred percent promise."
The film, in all honesty, is terrible. The acting is poor, the story is a shambles and Kate's starting to think that she'd be better off with one of the rom com's after all. The only thing marginally decent about it is the zombie get up. And yet, Castle, it seems, is completely in love. He's completely enthralled. "Castle…" He hums recognition, barely turns her head towards her. "No offence, or anything, but this is terrible."
"Really?"
"Really. Seriously, you like this?"
"It gets better, honestly. Just, trust me on this."
She raises her eyebrows at him, but eventually gives him the benefit of the doubt and settles back into the crook of his arm. When had he put that around her shoulders? "Castle?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you purposefully put a bad movie on just so you can try and seduce me?"
"Kate, I am offended. As if I would do such a thing." She can see the sparkle in his eyes, the amusement at her having only just figured his plan out. "Why, is it working?"
"I wouldn't call an arm around the shoulder a seduction technique. That's kind of child's play."
"Is that a challenge?" She feels the familiar tug in her gut at his words, doesn't miss the way his eyes darken, and if she looks carefully the pulse point in his neck has sped up. He may be the one attempting to do the seducing, but he's just as wound up as she is going to be. "Kate, if you don't want to…"
"Whoever gave you the idea that I didn't want to?" she smirks, tugging on his collar and making him fall into her. "All you had to do was ask."
"I was thinking of joining you at the precinct today?" Castle asks her, walking out of the bathroom and tugging at the collar of his dress shirt.
"Don't you have Alexis?" Kate replies, pulling a brush through her hair. Last night's memories are a little bit hazy, but apparently it was physical enough to turn her hair into a tangled mess that resembles a birds nest.
"She's spending the day with my mother. She's kind of a character, but Alexis loves her. Well, I love her too, obviously. She's my mother. But she's kind of… an acquired taste."
"Does she know about Harry?"
"No, not yet. I thought about inviting her over for dinner. Kind of family get together, introduce everyone. I don't want to just… spring it on her. At least, not over the phone."
"Right – yeah, it sounds nice."
He chuckles and tugs at her wrist so he can wrap his arms around her. "She'll love you both, okay? Harry's completely enchanting and you're just… you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"Kate asks cautiously, pulling away from him so she can carry on trying to get ready for work.
"Nothing bad. She just loves new people, and really, as long as you're not my ex-wife then you're already perfect in her eyes."
"Thanks… I think."
He presses a hurried kiss to her cheek. "Good. I'll arrange something. I'm going to take Harry to school, and then drop Alexis off, I'll meet you at the precinct?"
"You do know it's just paperwork, right? I'm not doing anything remotely interesting."
"Au contraire, my dear detective. Paperwork can be very interesting." He flashes her a grin and then he's gone again, calling out to Harry and Alexis to get their shoes on. And then he's back again, sticking his head around the door jamb. "Don't go looking for spoilers. I will know if you do."
"Castle-"
"And don't go through my drawers. Or my closet."
"Castle, I've got to go to work in twenty minutes. I don't have time to rifle through your personal belongings looking for spoilers. Or your porn stash."
"I don't-" he splutters, looking only marginally offended. "Katherine Beckett, I do not have a porn stash!"