T.I.T.A.N.S ACT 3
The TV host gave a big fat smile as he jumped in front of the camera.
"AAAAND welcome back to the final hours of T.I.T.A.N.S! Since this program will only last for the next few hours, let's see if we can get our heroes to perform even more grisly challenges!"
"This next edition is called 'Titans dumpster dining', before we explain the rules, let us cut to our favourite heroes."
The camera panned around the room now, stopping at a dejected Beast Boy sitting at the dinner table, scooping what appeared to be spoonfuls of pink glorg into his mouth.
Raven entered the room now, ignoring the cameraman as he zoomed in on her. She shivered involuntarily, not wanting to know how closely they were focusing.
"Beast boy, are you eating….. glorg?" she asked surprisingly as she made her way to the table.
Beast boy shrugged. "That's all I can taste now, I might as well try some."
"You do notice that all this stupidity is getting worse. This isn't even a documentary anymore, just a bunch of stupid, nonsensical cheap parlor tricks and endless mind-numbing action scenes to get easily-amused people to watch."
"Welcome to television." Beast Boy said as he chomped on another piece of glorg.
The host meanwhile, watching all this from a distance, whispered into the camera.
"We're going to have a new dinner reality show. On one plate, is Starfire's glorg supreme, while on the other, is a plate specifically made by our TV host chef, who used the finest ingredients out of a dumpster. Let's see if they notice."
"hmmmm." Beast Boy let out a surprised look as he chewed his 'food'. "Starfire's been improving."
"Beast Boy." Raven said dryly.
"What?"
"That's the garbage disposal unit."
A sudden look of horror and realization dawned on Beast Boy's face, as he suddenly recoiled as if he were completely convulsed with pain. Going down on all fours, the green titan spat violently onto the floor, then ran to the sink to douse his tongue with water.
"PLEH."
"Oh friend, how about some pudding of sadness to quell your thoughts." Starfire, appearing next to Beast Boy, smiled eagerly.
"I never thought Karma was so cruel." Beast Boy groaned.
"Congradulations Beast Boy! You're the first titan to pass the dumpster dining challenge!"
"That moped better be worth it." Beast Boy gritted his teeth in unusual hostility.
"Well…actually…." The host smiled, pulling a piece of paper from his coat.
"According to the contract, the moped is included, but as a prize to one of our challenges! Beast boy? Beast boy? Can you hear-"
The Changling's mouth was left hung open.
"I can see that you have a lot of thoughts on your mind," Raven gave Beast Boy a pat on the shoulder (OMG, PHYSICAL CONTACT! That must mean they love each other 4eva!).
"I'll be in my room."
"MY. MOPED. WAS. NOT. INCLUDED!" Beast Boy almost snarled these words out, steam literally coming out of his nostrils like an elephant's tusk. He was a goof ball, never prone to violence, but he was suddenly realizing why Robin and Cyborg were trying so hard not to hurt the TV guys.
"But don't worry! With this latest reality show, we'll get you on the way to buying one!"
"What do I have to do now?"
"For a wad of cash, all you have to do, is let our agent spit into your face." The host pointed into the hallway, where a dark shady guy in a business suit gave Beast Boy a friendly wave.
"WHAT!" Beast Boy shouted in outrage.
"Hey." The host shrugged. "You wanted more screentime."
Beast Boy pulled the host by his collar, pulling him just inches in front of his face. "I wanted my legions of adoring babes watching me be cool onscreen, not getting spat on!" He shook the host vigorously.
"Please…..B-BBB-Beast…BBBoy…..CCalm….dddown.…."
"I'll show you calm." Beast Boy shouted.
"Nuh uh! Remember our contract!" The host annoyingly held up the piece of paper to Beast Boy, who instantly transformed into a wolf and jumped at the contract, biting it ferociously, trying to tear it apart.
After several seconds however, Beast Boy transformed back into a human, the paper still dripping in his mouth.
"ARRRGH…UGGGH!" He tugged at the paper, even biting it when he was human, but it did not ripped.
"Laminated." The host smirked.
"And I thought the villains were evil."
"Well it's either that, or this challenge. Make Raven laugh."
"Dude, you think I haven't been trying. In any case, I want a moped, not my butt handed to me on a silver platter!" Beast Boy protested.
"Well then, don't worry, we still have plan B." The host gave an excited smirk. "We've specifically hired the most annoying villain to set up shop in Titans tower. If he manages to tick Raven off and make her explode within the next three hours, he gets a prize, if Raven stays the same, then she wins."
Beast Boy widened his eyes in surprise. "Dude, where are you going to get a villain stupid enough to do that."
The camera panned to the other end of the hallway, where a solitary figure stood in the shadows, smiling. This villain wore a Red bodysuit with a hood as well as black arm and ankle bands with a set of goggles over his eyes. A large division sign in a white circle was visible on his chest.
"Why Howdee folks! Watch how a reeeeal villain handles this little humdinger." Billy Numerous gave a huge grin. In an instant, one Billy Numerous suddenly became a dozen more, the hallway became very crowded, so crowded that the villains began filtering into the lounge.
"Wowee Billy, let's tickle her!" One Billy Numerous said, holding up a feather he stole from a pillow.
"This is gonna be gooder than grits!" One Billy Numerous, with a banjo in his hand, smirked stupidly. "Imma gonna play her purdy country music."
"Look's like he's ridin' a gravy train on biscuit wheels there eh Billy?" Another Billy nudged another jokingly.
More Billy Numerous' appeared now, duplicating until the entire kitchen area was full.
"Pheweee! What is that smell?" One of the Billys held his nose as he inspected Starfire's Tamaranian Glorg.
"ATTENTION BILLYS!" One Billy Numerous, this one wearing a mexican hat, stood above the crowd. "Now I know y'all are itching to start, but let us lay down some rules since we're guests here."
The hundreds of Billys dropped everything they were doing, staring blankly at their leader.
"AW who am I kidding!" Billy slapped his knees and laughed. "Let's have a heck of a day and steal everything!"
The Billys cheered, all running out of the lounge with a piece of stolen goods in their hands. Leaving a dazed Beast Boy still sitting at the lounge table.
"HAHA, Great work Billy! Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor." Billy complimented another Billy as they detached the widescreen T.V from the wall, watching as three other Billy's loaded everything and the kitchen sink into a sack and began running.
"I can smell that money now." The other Numerous rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Like flapjacks in the morning." He too, disappeared into the hallway.
"Now let's go see where in the Tower the Billys will go next!" The TV host said excitingly as the camera crew and him ran out the door.
Beast Boy meanwhile, just sat at the table dumbstruck.
"I don't know about you all, but I've had more than I can take." Cyborg, coming out of his hiding place, revealed himself as the cameras left.
Robin followed suit. Giving the cameramen a suspicious look as they disappeared into the hallway.
"Something is very fishy about this guy….this host. First he's doing a documentary, then a reality show, and now random villains going out of jail and winding up in the tower? It's a little too convenient for me."
"Not to mention them releasing bad guys into the streets. Doesn't sound like anything legal to me." Cyborg commented. "Aw man, they cleaned out my leftover turkey!"
"Whatever it is, we're going to stop it. NOW." Robin said seriously, punching his hands together in a fist, "it's gone on long enough."
At that instant, the doors to the lounge exploded, throwing three Billys into the living room, unconscious and groaning. Through the smoking rubble, the three titans eyed nervously the silhouette of a Raven appeared through the haze.
"Ok, that was the last straw." She said flatly, her eyes blazing white as the scared host was levitated from behind her, and dumped into the middle of the lounge. "Don't ever, go into my room."
"I think its time you leave." Robin got up, eyeing the host with a glare.
At that same moment, the camera crews ran out of the door, holding their hands over their mouths as if they were trying to avoid vomiting on the floor.
"Wait friends!" Starfire shouted innocently. "Do you not wish to know all the ingredients and insects that go into the Hot Dog?"
"Ah, Robin, Buddy!" The host said calmly, walking towards the Boy Wonder. "I'd love to, but this contract gives us coverage for at least another day." The host smiled, pulling out the piece of paper.
Which quickly lit up in black flames, to the surprise of the TV host.
"Contract?" Raven said innocently. "I see no contract."
Before the host could say anything however, another presence made itself felt in the room.
"AH," A new voice, this one darker, and menacing, loomed over the room. "But I do." A dark mist began filling the lounge, revealing a dark figure dressed in a black business suit. The man's facial features were hard to distinguish, as his entire body was just as black as his suit, almost as if he were made out of Raven's soul self. In the figure's hand, was another contract.
Meanwhile, throughout the city, thousands of citizens jumped up in surprise.
"WHAT!" Couch guy jumped up, completely confused.
"O…..kayyyyy…let's go with that." Hyper girl said.
"I don't get it," Vicky said. "What's the plot?"
"This is reality TV, there isn't supposed to be a plot." Goth guy replied.
Meanwhile in Prison, the other villains jumped up in surprise.
"WAHHH!" A collective yelp of surprise echoed through the prison halls, which prompted Johnny Rancid to quickly run back from his bathroom break.
"What? Did I miss something?"
In the Titans East tower, the situation was just as similar.
"QUE!" Mas Y Menos said in confusingly, unaware of the whining sounds and desperate scraps at the door that came from Speedy, who was still waiting outside.
"¿Quién es este tipo?" (who is this guy?)
"Soul Taker." Raven said flatly, instantly recognizing her old enemy.
"Please, just call me, the agent, it has that sophisticated feel to it. But more importantly, thanks to this contract your bumbling host signed. I am YOUR agent." The Agent smirked, giving his suit a satisfying tug at the collar.
"Um dude…aren't you supposed to be like, dead?" Beast Boy asked.
"I sent you away." Raven said flatly.
"You know how agents and TV networks are my dear, they never truly disappear, when one is gone, two more take their place." The villain gave a satisfying grin. "But enough about me, let's talk about you. Thanks to your popularity, this show has completely taken over the air waves, right now, every person in this city is watching."
"Was there any point to having them watch us eat glorg?" Beast Boy asked in an annoyed tone.
"Or go through all those stupid reality TV challenges that wrecked my tower?" Cyborg glared at the villain, pointing at the disheveled mess the lounge was in.
The Agent gave a smug chuckle. "It amused me."
"And you're probably the reason the host was able to get so many villains out of jail." Robin asserted.
"Ah, I see all those rumours about you being the detective of the group are true." The agent said sarcastically.
"But what about our host?" Starfire asked innocently.
The TV host was silent now, shocked that he had even signed a deal with this villain that now menaced over him. Before, the agent had appeared in a human form, but this was too much for him, and so, with a terrifying scream, he and the camera crews ran out the door. The camera, fixed firmly on a tripod, continued rolling.
"So much for him." Raven commented dryly.
The Agent continued. "The host wanted a show that could help his sagging career, and his desperation provided me the perfect opportunity. I granted his wish, and gave him a show that everyone would watch, but with every wish, comes with a price. In exchange for that, the contract gives me rights to the souls of everyone who watches this show!" He gave an evil laugh.
"Can I hurt him now?" Raven asked politely.
"-In exchange for that, the contract gives me the rights to the souls of everyone-"
"BORING!" Hyper girl yawned as she finally changed the channel. This last segment was getting too stupid for her.
"Hey, who said you could change the channel?" Couch guy complained.
"Look, I'm in a bad mood now. We're going to be watching something else, and if you don't like it, then I'll pound your head down so deep that you'll be dropping your pants just to say 'hi'"
"uhuh……." Couch guy rolled his eyes.
"Titans GO!" Robin took out his bo staff, while Cyborg and Starfire both charged their blasts.
"Fools. I already told you. It is over. In a few minutes, the souls who have watched this program will be reaped, and this mortal realm is mine." The Agent gave a triumphant laugh and already a black swirl of energy was beginning to build up around him.
"Unless of course, You make me a better deal. Raven?" The agent said sinisterly.
"I see you still haven't given up on the whole 'trying to get my soul' thing." Raven said sarcastically.
"Your soul is the one true prize I wish to claim, it is ever so deliciously evil." The Agent said lavishly. "Give me your soul Raven, and I will spare your pathetic fans of theirs."
Robin instantly threw himself in between Raven and the Agent.
"Think again."
Raven however, walked forward, moving Robin out of the way.
"No, it's fine." Raven said calmly. "If he wants me soul, he can have it."
"Raven, you don't have to." Robin said fiercely.
"With the souls of everyone else in danger, it's not like I have a choice."
The agent cackled, extending out his black claw-like hand.
"Then….we have a deal?"
Raven scoffed, reaching out towards the Agent's hand.
"Deal."
Within that instant, Raven's soul bird emerged from her body. The room shook violently as a swirl of black energy wrapped itself around Raven and the Agent, creating a small maelstrom in the lounge. Chairs, books, pots and pans, flew violently around the room, while in the center of it all, the agent lifted his arms in triumph.
"Yes! Such power! Now I can conquer this pathetic mortal realm."
The black storm quickly subsided as the soul bird vanished within the shroud of the Agent's body. With one last dying screech, it was sucked in, completely absorbed into the villain.
"Uhhhh……." Raven groaned weakly, falling backwards, only to have Robin catch her before she fell.
"You alright? The boy wonder asked with concern.
"I'm fine." Raven said, breathing heavily from that vast exertion of energy. "I didn't give him everything, just the dark part of the soul he wanted."
Robin nodded, he gentle lowered Raven to the ground, then pulled out his two bo staffs while the rest of the Titans assembled around him.
"Titans, Take him down!" The four titans attacked. Beast Boy transformed into a raging bull, while Cyborg and Starfire let loose a barrage of starbolts and sonic blasts.
The Agent however, simply threw up a barrier of black magic in front of him, effectively canceling out the blasts. A giant Raven's claw bursted from the ground, seizing Beast Boy's elephant form in its grasp and carrying him high onto the roof, eventually smashing the beast into the concrete ceiling.
"Duhhhhhh….did anyone get the number of that truck….." Beast Boy groaned as the claw vanished, leaving him in the middle of a huge crater in the ceiling. Without the claw however, the green titan quickly fell down to earth, only to be caught by Starfire.
The agent chuckled, lightly brushing aside another one of Cyborg's sonic blasts.
"That was but a taste of what's to come."
A wall of dark matter began emerging from the ground, hugging the walls and slithering up until the entire room was completely saturated in black. Thousands of pairs of red eyes began appearing from the walls now, each of them blinking.
The Agent willed his creations to merge, so that one huge set of eyes began forming in the middle. Within seconds, a huge claw began emerging from the wall, reaching out. The apparition was already half out by that time, and it was a black creature, with a wolf-like body and a Raven's head. As it emerged completely, the creature let out a grisly tortured roar, shaking the entire room.
"I almost forgot how much your powers creep me out." Cyborg commently slyly as he backed away with the rest of the titans.
"Just buy me some time." Raven said quickly.
"But what are you going to do?" Cyborg barely had time to finish as Raven began running to the other side of the room.
"Alright, let's get this on." Cyborg cracked his knuckles
The android's shoulder packs opened up now, letting loose a salvo of blue tipped missiles that came screeching at the creature. Within seconds, a series of small, but potent explosions ripped through the air, temporarily obscuring the creature in a cloud of dust.
"Now Robin!" Cyborg shouted, and the boy wonder ran behind Cyborg, putting a foot on his teammates shoulder, and jumping up to throw half a dozen freeze discs at the creature.
The discs simply vanished within the darkness of the apparition, and the giant monster Raven roared again, convulsing temporarily before regurgitating Robin's freeze discs straight back at the titans.
"Titans, scatter!" Robin pole vaulted into the air, just in time to avoid freeze blasts, but not fast enough to avoid the flurry of claws that emerged from the black walls. One claw grabbed Robin by the cape, and the boy wonder struggled as he realized that more black energy shrouded him, impeding the movement of his hands and legs and forcing him down onto the ground. The boy wonder grunted as he fought his restraints, but they did not budge.
"Now now Robin, try and maintain a little dignity." The agent smirked, walking up to his newly captured prey. "We're on national television."
Unbeknownst to the agent, Cyborg was steadily making his way behind him, waiting for the right moment to make his move.
The titan jumped into the air now, charging his sonic cannon to blast the Agent from behind. A gigantic stream of blue energy surged towards the villain.
"BOO-"
The agent turned around, grinning, a black portal already formed in his hand, which sucked up the sonic blast.
"Yah?" Cyborg finished as he was caught off guard by the agents move. In less than a second, the portal had reappeared behind Cyborg, and with it, came his patented sonic blast. A massive blue explosion rocked the air, as Cyborg was thrown right into the wall by his own attack.
"Two down."
"You will leave my friends ALONE!" Starfire shouted defiantly, diving straight at the Agent, both palms blazing.
"Ah, the alien." The agent said sinisterly. "Do you remember these?"
Thousands of small red eyes appeared above Starfire now, and the Tamaranian froze as a horde of dark four eyed birds emerged from the ceiling and walls, each one the size of a rat.
Starfire let loose a huge flurry of blasts into the creatures, destroying at least half a dozen at a time, but they continued their advance, and soon, swarmed all over her, pinning her down onto the ground.
"Such magnificent power!" The agent cackled, gripping his fists. "I've never felt such power. Soon, this entire realm will be- BLAHPLHEHEHEH!"
The agent stopped abruptly, as a spoonful of purple gunk splattered his face.
"Let's see how you like that." Beast Boy grinned, a plate of zorbian glorg in his hands. He quickly threw its contents at the villain.
The agent blasted the plate to pieces, covering the entire room with purple glorg.
It was the distraction Beast Boy needed, and he quickly transformed into hawk.
"You cannot escape me fool." The villain smirked, then unleashed a barrage of black claws to grab Beast Boy. The Green titan swerved skillfully in the air, avoiding the claws as they stretched through the air, twisting and contorting. When Beast Boy ran out of air space, he quickly dived down, transforming into a slithering snake to avoid the claws that emerged from the ground. He dodged each claw skillfully. First he was a gopher, then a fly, then a cheetah.
Finally, just feet away from the agent, he transformed into a lion, roaring as he prepared to claw at the villain's face. He leaped into the air.
Only to come to a dead stop just inches from the villain's face. Beast Boy looked back now, and saw, with some embarrassment, that the claw had grabbed onto his tail.
Before the titan could do anything else however, the black magic had already engulfed him, tying him up with the rest of his friends.
"How disappointing, I was expecting more from the famed Titans." The agent sighed.
"It's not over." Raven walked calmly towards the agent. Her cloak was off, wrapped around some square object in her hand.
"Are you serious my dear? I just defeated your team." The agent turned around, utterly confident in his triumph."
"Your mortal realm is mine now. What hope do you have of stopping me!" The agent, as if to demonstrate his new found powers, began letting loose a fury of black energy blasts. Destroying tables and furniture in clouds of smoke as a series of explosions ripped through the walls.
"What hope do you think you have of stopping me? I have your powers! Your strength! You. Have. Nothing." The agent boasted.
"You're wrong." Raven gave a sly smirk, causing the agent to give a dumbfounded look.
"I have brains." She threw her robe into the air now, uncovering the object that was hiding under it. Beast Boy's patented portable TV.
"You just got punk'd." Raven smirked
Almost immediately, the powers from the agent stopped flowing, as if an irresistible pull began dragging the villain's dark essence into the tube."Wait…how is this possible…..NOOOOOOOOOO"
A black wave of energy began flying out from the Agent, gathering into the form of a Raven in the air, while the agent's black form slowly began fading away into the television, sucking him in until finally, he disappeared in a puff of black smoke.
The soul bird, with a screech, flew straight back to its owner, engulfing Raven in black magic until it was fully absorbed into her.
In that instant, all the black magic restraining the titans disappeared, and all the titans were dropped unceremoniously onto the ground.
"Wow, Raven." Beast boy said incredulously. "What did you do?"
"Well remember what the agent said? That anyone who watched the show would have their soul sucked out of them. I figured he wasn't smart enough to turn his spell off." Raven explained.
"So….you're saying he….ate himself?" Robin asked.
Raven shrugged. "In a way."
"Works for me." Cyborg yawned, "I don't know about you, but it's been a long day!"
"Agreed, how about some TV?" Beast Boy smiled.
The rest of the Titans glared at him.
"I think I'm gonna call it a night." Cyborg yawned.
"I've got work to do." Robin replied.
"And I shall be in my room." Starfire smiled politely.
"Do you really have to ask?" Raven said flatly.
"Ok…fine…have it your way." Beast Boy shrugged, taking a remote into his hand and sitting onto the couch.
"Wonder what's on…."
Steel City
Mas Y Menos groaned as they woke up, as if they were in a trance.
Mas rubbed his head. "¿Qué acaba de suceder?"
"yo me siento raro" Menos commented.
Before the two twins could say anything else, the door to the bathroom exploded in a violent blast. The steel door was flung straight into the wall, bent and distorted, before it fell onto its side onto the floor.
Mas Y Menos watched in horror as the figure approached them through the smoke. His mouth foaming, and his eyes filled with rage.
Speedy dropped the bow, grabbing a roll of toilet paper before giving Mas Y Menos a death glare.
"GET. OUT"
"¡Corra!" The twins screamed, then hugged each other and ran.
Meanwhile in the apartment, couch guy and hyper girl were wrestling for the remote, the entire room looked as though a tornado had crashed through it.
"AHA mine!" Hyper girl said triumphantly as she changed the channel.
"Doesn't matter…you're program's over anyway." Couch guy laughed.
"You know." Goth guy said stoically. "Instead of fighting over the remote, why don't you just pick a channel we can all watch?"
"Bah, fine." Hyper girl sighed, still angry that her favourite program was over.
They clicked.
"Glad, depend on it"
FLIP
"He lines up the shot…and shoots!"
FLIP
"WOOWEEE, looks like this summer's gonna be hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
FLIP
"From the makers of DB2, and TOSS… comes an epic so freaking cool it just-"
FLIP
"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm the joker, living proof that you don't have to be crazy to host this show, but it helps." drumroll cymbal applause
Flip
"A special thanks to all those involved in this, none of this would not have been possible without you."
FLIP
"Well-"
FLIP
"So-"
FLIP
…
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
FLIP
"PICK A CHANNEL ALREADY!" Everyone else in the room yelled at hyper girl.
Back at Titans tower, Beast Boy rolled back in his seat, relaxing as he grabbed something to drink.
"Those guys don't know what they're missing." Beast Boy smirked, not knowing that the other Titans were also in their rooms watching their own TV.
Raven meanwhile, with Beast Boy's portable T.V in her hand, watched quietly under the covers of her own bed. It would be a cold day in hell before Beast Boy would catch her doing this.
"So maybe this thing does have potential after all."
"Finally!" Hyper girl smiled, "Something decent."
"Now that we can agree on." Couch guy smirked as the entire gang settled down to watch..
Everyone became silent now, just as the credit started rolling…
"When there's trouble you know who to call…….
From their tower they can see it all….."Just another normal day of TV in jump city
THE END...
Cyborg: NANANANAH SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OH YEAH...NANANANAH BIG FLUFFY CAT, THAT'S RIGHT!
-----------
Please note, the (OMG THEY LOVE EACH OTHER 4EVA) is not a shot at BB/R shippers ;). It's just an observation i have made in the show :D. You KNOW it's true, with any pairing.
For those of you with no clue who the agent is…..he's a comic book character from TTGO 19