My laptop crashed right in the beginning of writing this, so I had to resort to my old one, without spell-check. So I apologize for it being so crap, I have checked it as thoroughly as I can, but it's not perfect. Sorry, I do hope it's readable anyway.

Doug

Still buzzing from our first set I was finding it hard to calm down. I was counting the minutes until we were going on again, and at that point I had walked up and down the hallway so many times that I was actually getting a bit dizzy. Deciding that I needed to relax for a while I took the others lead and walked into the room where I knew they'd already be lounging on the couches and playing videogames. Despite my urge to get back up to the stage I found myself not hating the idea of a game or two. And maybe even a beer.

I walked into the room and immediately spotted Harry and Tom sitting on one couch, beer in each hand, laughing about something apparently very funny. Danny was sitting on the couch next to them, or sitting was a bit much, more like lying bent over while laughing hysterically at something the person next to him just said. She had her head turned away from me but the second I lay eyes on her I stopped dead.

Realising that I had joined them their laughter died down, and, as if in slow-motion, everybody turned towards me. Everyone, including Sam.

The last person I ever expected to see was all of a sudden standing right in front of me.

My heart jumped straight into my throat, and despite being well aware of the fact that my chin was basically touching the floor I couldn't do anything but stare.

All the times over the past year that I had imagined seeing her again, in my mind it had been nothing like this. In my dreams I would have known what to say, and even if I didn't, at least I would have said something - anything - but never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine the urge to hold her in my arms again to be so strong.

All kinds of images raced through my mind at once. Memories of her smile and the little glint in her eyes, the way my skin burned every time she touched me. The feeling of her lips on mine…

You get the picture.

All that time, and I could still read her like a book. The way her shy smile betrayed every single emotion, how she all of a sudden didn't seem to know how to act or what to say. It was a very different Sam from the one I used to know, but, then again, this wasn't your everyday situation was it? Me, shell-shocked and staring and Sam shifting back and forth, as if debating whether to run away or stay put.

Suddenly Danny clasped his hands together, causing everyone to jump. 'So, this has been nice, but I reckon we have somewhere important to be' he said motioning for Harry and Tom to stand up. 'Later dudes'

I heard the door close behind them, a bit amazed at Danny. He'd never been one for taking a hint, but for once he got it and left us alone. Not that his leaving made me regain my speaking-abilities, but at least we were alone. That had to be something, right?

I continued to stare at her. At her white T-shirt and jeans, the same worn ones that she always used to wear whenever she was allowed to, and even though I'd seen her dressed like this so many times before, she still looked amazing. I didn't know if it was being outside school or just seeing her again, but the effect her being in front of me again was almost too much to take. A part of me wanted to run a way and deal with it for a while and then come back and actually have something to say, while the other, more prominent part of me wanted to, well, kiss her.

'You look different' I finally managed to say

'Thanks' she replied with an amused smile. 'I think'

'I mean, good I mean. You look good, great' I stumbled on my words feeling my face getting redder and redder by every syllable that came out of my mouth.

'Thanks' she replied ignoring my obvious discomfort. 'You look good too, you've grown your hair.'

I raised my hand subconsciously, running my fingers through my hair, in an, I suppose, awkward way of trying to steer my mind away from the fact that I still cared like hell if she liked it or not. 'Yeah I know'

'It's nice.'

'Thanks'

'So' I began, trying to figure out the best way to phrase the question we both wanted to ask.

'Why did you come here tonight? How did you even know where I was?'

'Oh' she replied with an insecure half-smile. 'Danny told me'

I'll admit that I thought I was prepared for almost anything, but it never crossed my mind that it could have been something so simple and, for a fragment of a second, so treacherous. 'Danny knew you were coming?'

'Please don't be angry at him, he's only known for about a week or so' Sam pleaded with me. 'I told him not to say anything'

'Ok...' I replied quietly not really knowing what to say to that. Not that I really thought about it, I was still pretty much stuck on the fact that it was Sam, standing right in front of me and I still didn't know why. I just wanted to know why.

'I'm sorry it took so long' she suddenly blurted out, effectively interrupting my inner rant. 'I tried for so long but I couldn't find you and then I tried to find Danny instead and you know, there are a lot of Danny Jones' in this country' Sam finished with a deep breath. 'I'm sorry'

'Um.' Did she just say what I think she said?

At this point my head was going in freaking circles. This was Sam, my Sam, standing right in front of me telling me that she came here looking for me and I still couldn't say a word. I had never expected to feel this much this quickly again, but then again, I had never gotten over her, had I? I'd spent every day the last year thinking that I saw her in the street, in the pub, everywhere, so I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, but damn did I feel it. I felt it in every single fibre of my being. And I wasn't really sure what to do about it.

I could see it in her eyes, the hurt from me not saying anything in response, yet I didn't manage to do anything about it. If she only could have seen how much I was struggling, but then again why should she? She was the brave one, the one who quite obviously took a chance by coming here tonight and I couldn't even dignify her with a reply. Talk about feeling shitty.

'I guess I should get back out there, find a good spot and stuff.' Sam finally said with a disappointed sigh.

'Um...' I shamefully repeated.

'I'll see you later then?'

'Yeah.' Yeah? What the fuck Doug! Grow a pair why don't you... I've missed you, I tried to find you. One, two… eh, eight stupid words.

Eight stupid words that probably would have changed everything, I thought to myself as I watched Sam leave the room.

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