Next week some kids are coming over to stay from another country. It's a project thing. Anywise, I'll be pretty much running around after them or trying to catch up on homework, so idk when I'll be able to post, but I'll give it my best. A bit of fluff in this one to cheer you up from all these angst. Enjoy!

I don't own Durarara.

„See that wasn't so bad." Shizuo said cheerfully, happy that Izaya stayed still and in place during the entire session.

"It was torturous." Izaya grumbled, nuzzling his head into Shizuo's shoulder.

Since the session lasted agonizingly long and the psychiatrist was determined to get Izaya to spill his entire life tale in one sitting, the informant was left rather exhausted and drowsy and hitched a ride on Shizuo's shoulders. This is why Shizuo was currently piggybacking him through the town, causing numerous heads to turn and stare.

"Oi Flea, what do you say we swing by Russia Sushi and eat there? I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"…"

"Flea? Are you alright up there?"

"…"

"Oi, Izaya?"

The smaller man grumbled softly, he was completely limp and only thing that was keeping him still on board where his arms, firmly tangled around Shizuo's shoulders. He nuzzled against the debt collectors neck, murmuring something softly and the blond snickered. Izaya fell his usual feeling of exhaustion and the extra activity he did today, it was no surprise that the raven felt tired enough to fall asleep in such and awkward position.

Shizuo made sure Izaya's hands aren't suffocating him and that he had a safe hold on his legs as he continued on towards Russia sushi. Izaya didn't stir once on the way over, just kept nuzzling to Shizuo's neck, mumbling things suck as; "Warm.", "Shizu-chan." And "Ugh." When Shizuo lit up a cigarette. The blond just chuckled and murmured; "Cute."

…

Oh. Shit.

Now he was saying it out loud. No, no, no. It was one thing thinking about it and then burying it deep inside his mind and a whole another deal actually saying it out loud where everyone could hear. He had to stop thinking like this. This was Izaya. He was not cute. Cute is the last thing he was.

A soft yawn trawled to his ears; "Ne, Shizu-chan, where are we going?" The informant asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Cute.

FUCK.

"Oh I was just thinking we should go to Russia sushi and have lunch there."

"Hmm, I'm not really hungry."

"You have to eat, Izaya."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I-"

"Would you stop acting like a goddamned kid or I'll show food down your mouth myself!"

"Aww, is Shizu-chan gona feed me~? That's sooooo romantic."

"You're impossible."

Shizuo, however, could not stop the smile sneaking up and on his face. It was nice hearing Izaya sound like he's usual cheerful self. Even if it was just for a moment.

"Ne, Shizu-chan?"

"Yes, Flea?"

"Why do you still put up with me, if I'm such a bother? You could just dump me at Shinra's."

Izaya bit his lip when the blond didn't answer right away. He realized that Shizuo was maybe dense enough to never consider that option and that he himself just gave him an idea. Idea he didn't want to go through with.

But the dept collector just grinned and turned his head to look at him; "Well somebody's got to put up with you, flea. And like this I get to keep eye on you, so you don't hurt anyone. It's pretty practical actually."

Shizuo didn't want to think about the real reason. He got used to Izaya. He got used to him being in his home. It felt less lonely, even though these days Izaya wasn't as loud and full of presence as he used to be. The blond felt good, knowing there was someone waiting him at home, knowing he was helping somebody, even though all he did his entire life was destroy other people's lives. His little flat felt more like home when Izaya was there, not just like a space he used to eat and sleep. Izaya made it feel warmer, more welcoming. He wondered how it would be, if Izaya was his old self.

But he couldn't wonder that.

It was dumb.

Izaya and him were life long enemies and even if they did start a relationship it would end in a disaster. They were too different for it to work. They fought from the moment they met, it would not stop. They would annoy each other, piss each other off and eventually it would end in a painful brake up.

Shizuo couldn't put his heart on a line like that.

Not for his enemy.

It would be like signing a death sentence.

And anywise, since when was he gay?

Not that he had a problem with it. He just had a problem with finding out he was gay for Izaya.

It was weird.

They were natural enemies, born to fight each other.

No. This wasn't love. It couldn't be love.

Just pity.

Izaya was finally showing him his human side and Shizuo was glad to take the peace offering. Anything to end the violence that wrapped around his life and followed him like a curse.

That's all there was. A pity for a broken human and willingness to bury the hatchet.

Nothing less and certainly nothing more.

"Neee, Shizu-chan, what's got you so deep in though. You know you can hurt your little protozoan brain if you keep thinking so much."

Izaya's annoying babbling snapped him out of thought. He was glad, it was going nowhere good and he did a very shitty job at hiding his feeling from himself. Not that there where any feelings.

"Damn, flea, you sure are in a good mood today. I thought you were tired?"

"Awww, is Shizu-chan concerned for me?"

"Are you faking all this? Is this another sick joke?"

Izaya laughed humorlessly, his eyes void of that spark Shizuo knew so well: "I wish it was Shizu-chan. I wish it was…But I'm having a real good day right now, so please don't ruin it. Pretty please, Shizu-chan~?"

"Shut it, flea."

"Is that 'okay' in monster language?"

"I said shut it!"

"Gaah, Shizu-chan is mad at me! Somebody save me!"

"That's it!" Shizuo released Izaya's legs from his hold, making the younger unceremoniously plop down on the concrete with a yelp and a pout; "You obviously feel well enough to walk, so keep up."

"Hai, hai, Shizu-can. Ne, did anybody ever tell you, you get bossy when you're mad?"

Shizuo grumbled beneath his breath, but he was happy on the inside. Izaya was acting like his old self today. Laughing and joking and annoying shit out of him. It was a welcome change from the brooding raven he lived with for the past few weeks. He hoped it wasn't just another trick to make him feel better. He hoped Izaya would stay like this for a while.

He could only hope.

As soon as they arrived at the sushi shop, they were attacked by Simon, being happy as anything about; 'No more fight, eat sushi. Good, happy sushi. Good for new couple. Sushi means love!' At which Shizuo turned completely red, cursed out something about them not being a couple and went inside to get them a table. Izaya stayed outside to chat with Simon in Russian.

When he went inside, Shizuo missed the way Simon's face turned serious and concerned as he switched to his mother tongue. The large man leaned down so he would be eyelevel to Izaya and spoke to him reassuringly. Izaya only responded with nods, waves of his head and a few curt words, after which he fled inside to find Shizuo, leaving Simon to stare worriedly after him.

They both order their usuals, Izaya showing just a shadow of his usual enthusiasm for his favorite dish, which left Shizuo wondering was he really feeling any better. He didn't want to prod, since Izaya was already questioned enough today, by a total stranger none the less, so they ate in an awkward silence as neither knew what to say.

Shizuo observed the informant, noting how he ate the food, which he usually loved more then all of his humans combined, with no interest, as if he was not tasting it at all. The cheerful smile was gone and Izaya once again looked gloom and lost in thought. The blond wondered what caused such an abrupt change. And will Izaya ever be really happy again, for more then few minutes.

He read a bit about depression, trying to educate himself on how to be useful. The descriptions of it, made by patients, were scary as hell. Because it was hell. Hell of living. How could he help someone to climb out of such a dark pit?

He never broke the silence. Not when Izaya stopped halfway through his meal and pushed it away, showing that he won't eat no more. Not when the raven curled up in their booth, seeming exhausted again. Not when he fell asleep. And not when he carried sleeping Izaya out of the shop, ignoring Simon's concerned gaze.

He didn't say anything, because there was nothing to say.

What could you say to make hell seem brighter?