A/N: So Christmas is coming. There's a lot to pack into the next couple of days to get everyone ready and my real life job is getting in the way of my plotting time! Thanks for the lovely reviews guys, so nice to hear you are liking this so please continue to leave those reviews as I read every one :-)

"Polly! Seriously? What the fuck was that all about?!" Piper glared at her best friend as she saw her sniggering into her coffee cup.

"Oh please. What happened between you two last night?"

"Nothing happened and nothing is going to happen if you pull stunts like that."

"Nothing happened? Really Piper?" Polly raised her eyebrow, clearly not believing a word of it.

"Look, it's hard to explain what is or isn't going on with me and Alex. I don't think we know. We've never done the friendship thing before and we're still trying to figure it out. It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone when you can't stop staring at their lips and remembering what they are capable of. That's all I'm saying on the subject."

"So something did happen then…?"

"Polly…" Piper glared at her making it clear she wasn't going to be badgered into talking.

"Can you talk me through the order books please and I'll put some dinner on while you get changed?"

They went through the order books and Polly changed while Piper prepared a quick pasta with meatballs dish for dinner.

"So, what are you doing for Christmas then? Are you going to head back to stay with your parents for the weekend?"

"I don't want to be there for the full weekend. I know Cal and Neri are staying home because there's a forecast of snow and they want to keep an eye on the place in case it gets heavy. So it would just be me, Mum and Dad most of the time. My Grandma will probably come over for dinner on Christmas Day. I'll call them and find out what the plans are and decide from there I think. What are you going to do?"

"Pete's folks are in Australia and he can't afford to go back at the moment, so I was going to see him a bit over the holidays I guess. You can always come round to mine and we can do dinner there if you don't want to go stay with your parents. I'm guessing you have to have someone with you anyway still?"

"Yeah, I've got another appointment after Christmas when I hope to get the all clear. I'm so sick of being a millstone around your neck. Sorry Pol."

"Don't worry about it. I know you'd do the same and don't think I'm not storing up favours for payback when I want to call it back in."

They ate their meal and Piper told her about the meeting with Sarah.

"Do you think they'll recommend you go back to your AA sessions?"

"Nah, I don't think they would. It's not like this attack happened because I'd drunk too much and I've been on the straight and narrow since getting out of Litchfield anyway now. It's over 3 years ago since I was really drinking and I know there's always a group there if I do need it. I honestly feel like I don't though. It's the counselling they might insist on, though Sarah says they won't force me to do anything I don't want to do. We have another session after Christmas, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Alex offered to stay with me, but I think I'd rather do them on my own. I don't want to feel self-conscious about anything I'm saying."

They washed up and Piper wrapped some of her family's gifts while Polly got showered, then called her parents to let them know she was OK and find out what the Christmas plans were.

XXXXX

Alex called around to Nicky's house on her way home from Piper's. She banged on the door and stuffed her hands into her pockets while she waited for her fuzzy haired friend to answer.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in? Long time, no see Vause." She stood in the doorway with her arms folded and brow raised as though it were a question.

"I'll let myself in shall I? And I thought you went to a nice school to learn manners and everything." Alex brushed past her and slapped her on the shoulder as she went through to the house.

"So, did Blondie give you time off for good behaviour tonight then?"

"I don't live there you know. Last night was a one-off so her friend Polly Hobby could get her leg over with some dude she's seeing."

"Sure. You were really putting yourself out to spend the night hey?" Nicky chuckled as she went to bring over a bottle of bourbon and a couple of glasses.

Alex rolled her eyes and took her jacket off, putting it on the arm of the chair in Nicky's lounge.

"How is Piper anyway? I've not heard from her for a couple of days. How long is she house bound for?"

"She's OK I guess. Her ribs are bruised and she's still getting headaches, but they changed her meds at the hospital. She has another appointment next week to see if she still has to stay home with someone. I think she's going to be stir crazy sitting in there for another week." Alex picked up her glass and raised it to Nicky.

"What are we toasting Sasquatch? Lesbian heroines or the hot ex-girlfriends who need them?"

XXXXX

Piper was up early again the next morning and had already eaten breakfast when Polly came through to find her already working through the order books at the breakfast bar.

"Wow, couldn't you sleep? How come you're starting so early?"

"I wanted to get a good start in case I needed to check anything with you before you leave this morning. I think I've got my head around it though. I reckon I'll have it done before lunch at this rate."

"Oh good. We might actually be able to close properly for Christmas at this rate! I'm going to grab a coffee on my way in this morning. So as soon as SuperCunt arrives, I'm going to dash….and speak of the Devil, looks like she's just pulled up."

Piper busied herself with the paperwork as the door opened up.

"Morning! I'm heading straight out for breakfast. I'm fancying something GOOSEBERRY flavoured…." Polly grinned behind Alex's back at Piper before slamming the door behind her.

"Hey."

"Hey. What was that about?"

"It's just Polly being Polly. Ignore her and she might go away."

"It's not worked in 8 years, I've stopped holding my breath for that dream to be answered." Alex took her beanie off and put it on top of her coat before shaking out her loose dark hair. She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a cream cashmere sweater top with a loose turtle neck and looked hot as Hell. "You look hard at it. Ready for another coffee or are you already turbo charged?"

"Nope, I'm good. I don't want to risk my propensity for knocking things over with all this paper work, so I'll step away from it later for a top up. Thanks though. There's some cereal and milk if you want breakfast, just help yourself."

"Thanks. I'll have a quick bowl before I check through my own work stuff while you're doing that."

Alex busied herself in the kitchen and Piper could see her out of the corner of here eye keep rubbing the back of her neck.

"Is your neck still tense? I thought I sorted that the other night?" Piper blushed remembering what that led to and looked down at her papers when Alex turned around.

"Huh? Oh. No, it's fine. It worked, thanks. It's just kinda warm in here today I guess."

"Oh yeah, I put the heating on early today. You can knock it off if you're too hot…."

"Are you suggesting I might be too hot Piper?" Alex raised her eyebrow, once again the boundaries were getting lost.

"No! I'm talking about the temperature being too hot, not you. Don't get a big head."

Alex sat next to her at the breakfast bar with her cereal. "Well, I guess if I can't stand the heat I should get out of the kitchen then." She smiled innocently at Piper.

"Yeah, that way you can go from hot to cold as quickly as you like." Piper mumbled as she tried not to rise to Alex flirting with her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-uh. What did you mean by that?" Alex was still eating her cereal but was turned to the side facing Piper straight on now.

"Forget it. I didn't mean anything." Piper's tone was rising and gave Alex all the evidence she needed that there was something behind the comment.

"Piper. Talk to me please."

Piper sighed and raked her fingers through her hair roughly, searching for words that wouldn't escalate into an argument but she wanted to find out what Alex was playing at.

"I guess I meant you are blowing hot and cold…" Piper shrugged and looked down at her hands.

"Do you want to explain that a little to me 'cause I'm assuming this has nothing to do with the weather now?" Alex went to put her bowl down away from Piper's paperwork.

"The other night. I'm talking about the other night you stayed over Alex. You kissed me and then ran away and pretended it never happened." Having managed to say the hardest words, Piper managed to look Alex in the eye now as she waited for an answer.

"OK…..You asked me to kiss you though, remember?"

"Really Alex?! That is your answer? You only did it because I asked you to? Then what? Your job was done and you thought you'd walk out to do another thing from your 'to-do' list?"

"No. That's not what I meant. I meant it wasn't just me kissing you, that you wanted me to. I just…I got caught up in the moment and forgot that I was supposed to be here to look after you."

Piper's eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion. "What? You're treating this like a job or something and fraternising with your employer might be get you fired?"

"No. Well, kind of I guess. Ugh. Sometimes I forget we aren't together anymore and I forget I'm supposed to be helping you get back on your feet after what happened at the bar. I kissed you because I wanted to, like really wanted to. I ran away because I wasn't supposed to."

Piper's confused expression didn't change.

"Right. I'm explaining this badly. Can we sit on the sofa a minute? This feels like we're on opposite sides of a board room with all these papers."

Piper nodded and they moved to sit on the sofa. Alex sat right next to Piper and put her hand on Piper's thigh as she started talking again.

"Pipes, I'm sorry if I left you confused the other night. I did really want to kiss you and it was amazing to finally be touching your lips. You took my breath away." Alex stroked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear as she looked her in the eye while she was talking.

"Then why did you stop Al? Why did you suddenly stop and then leave me feeling like I'd left a bad taste in your mouth?"

"What? No! How could you even think that?! Kissing you is like coming home Pipes. I….I just remembered the ordeal that you've just been through and how completely insensitive and selfish I would be to carry on with what we were doing."

"Selfish how? You're not making any sense here Alex. You say you wanted to kiss me, I wanted to kiss you. We were kissing, everything was happy in Kissingville. Then you zoned out on me and suddenly we're leaving Kissingville and on our way to Whatthefuckisgoingonville…" Piper reached out to hold the hand that Alex had now removed from her thigh as they were talking.

"Alex, I'm trying to understand where your head is at, I really am." She soothed her thumb over the top of Alex's hand now, waiting for Alex to find the words she was looking for.

The brunette couldn't understand how she'd managed to monumentally fuck something so simple up with Piper by trying to be understanding and take things slowly. Maybe she was even expecting Piper to be a bit relieved that she was happy to take things slowly and not rush anything between them. She certainly wasn't expecting to be hauled over the coals for it. She met Piper's eyes and looked for a hint of anything that would mean she didn't have to say it out loud. Piper just stared back blankly, so she took a deep breath.

"I know Piper. I know what happened that night at Sandy's Bar."

"OK…well I guessed you did or you wouldn't have seen me in the hospital, or be looking after me now in fact. What is it Alex? What do you know about that night that is freaking you out so much?"

"I was there." Alex looked down and mumbled the words so quietly that Piper barely heard them.

"You were in the bar that night?"

"Yes. I could have prevented all of this."

"Is that what you're so bothered about? You feel guilty because you happened to be in the bar on Friday? Alex-"

"I saw you with Steve, dancing together. I thought you were going to get off with him and I got jealous and left. If I'd have waited around and stayed, none of this would have happened."

"Don't be silly Alex. You couldn't have known what was going to happen and who is to say you could have stopped it anyway. That's an absurd thing to think about. Is that it? You don't want to be insensitive because you think I have a thing with Steve?"

"No. It's not that…"

"Then what? Please, just spit it out instead of me playing 20 questions. We could be here all day."

"I know that guy raped you Piper. Steve told me when I was at the hospital with you. I was about to punch his lights out because I thought he was the guy who attacked you. I had him on the floor and he told me that guy raped you." Piper looked at her with wide-eyes, shocked that something like this could be conveyed by a rumour and also worrying about if other people were thinking the same.

"I know he wasn't supposed to say anything and he made us promise not to tell your family."

"Us? Who else has he fucking told that I was raped?!" Piper was furious.

"Just me and then Polly when she came into your room and saw us on the floor."

"So Polly thinks I was raped too? Fucks sake…."

"Yes….wait. Thinks?"

"I wasn't raped Alex. He had every intention of doing so when he spiked my drink and led me round the back of the bar, but I only took a sip before throwing the drink over him. So I was able to defend myself more than I could have otherwise done." Piper looked carefully at Alex to make sure she was registering what she was saying.

"But Steve said he found you with your dress and panties all….."

"Yes, well I lost some dignity there for sure. My private parts aren't as private as they once were I suppose. But Steve got there in time to stop anything from happening. I'm OK Alex. The police did a few tests to be sure and they confirmed it all. He didn't rape me. Do you hear me?"

Alex leaned over and hugged Piper tightly. "Thank God. Who I don't believe in. But thank Him anyway. Fucking thank you God for this." She leaned back slightly before cupping Piper's face in her hands. "You're OK? You're really OK though? You would tell me if he hurt you in any other way wouldn't you?"

"I would. I promise I'm not keeping anything hidden. These wounds that you see are all I got. I might be a bit nervy about showing my face in Sandy's any time soon and I might never let anyone buy me a drink ever again, but I'm OK. I promise you Al."

Alex pulled her in for another hug, stroking her back up and down as she kissed the side of her face.

"Is that why you ran last night? You thought I'd freak out if you touched me?"

"Well, yeah. I didn't want to risk upsetting you."

"Well that's annoying."

"Annoying?"

"I was so fucking horny that night."