Hi everyone! I know, I know... I'm incredibly deeply sorry for this delay. I didn't expect my life to be so busy in the last few months and I know I promised a sooner update but I just couldn't manage. I hope you'll forgive me! Next, thank you all who's still here and reading! It means the world to me! And also thanks for all feedback on last chapter, it brought mixed feelings for everyone I gathered and it also discouraged me a little bit to be honest but I hope there are still people who wants to read the rest of this story. I tried to answer everyone, tell them my reasons and such but anyone has any questions left please feel free to write me a message! Now, I believe I said enough, time to give you the new chapter. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters.

Chapter 25

The next morning Kate woke with a heavy heart and a pile of used tissues on her bedside table. She checked her clock and saw that it was still pretty early so she tried to fall back asleep but couldn't. Her thoughts kept wandering to last night and what went wrong. It was most probably the worst date of her life and she still found it so difficult to believe because it was with Castle. She must have done something wrong too, given the wrong signs or maybe she had been too closed off, scared by her fears and doubts. She wasn't sure, all she knew there was a sour taste in her mouth as she thought of it and that she didn't like.

She got out of bed and took a long, hot shower before putting on running clothes and leaving the apartment to go for a jog. The cool morning air was refreshing on her skin, chasing away the unwanted thoughts and leaving her brain blissfully blank. She ran until she was completely out of breath and only then did she slow down and start to make her way back home. She bought a coffee on the way, walking steadily along the street with the takeaway cup warming her hands as she waited for her heartbeat to slow down.

The doorman greeted her with a warm though slightly sad smile and she had a strong suspicion that even though she didn't pay much attention whether he was there or not last night, he had seen the state she arrived in and guessed how disastrous her outing was.

She felt her face flush and briefly returning his smile she pulled out her phone and tried to seem very busy as she rushed into the elevator. The phone was still in her hand when she stepped out and she dialed her dad's number, a grin lighting up her face when she heard her son answer.

"Jim Beckett's residence here, Matt speaking." came the cheery little voice from the other end of the line.

"Hi sweetheart, it's me." she greeted him, fishing her keys out of her pocket and entering the apartment.

"Mom? Good morning!" shouted Matt excitedly.

"Good morning to you too, dear. But please don't be so loud, I can hear you perfectly…" she reminded him, popping down on one of the chairs in the kitchen and sipping her remaining coffee.

"Right, sorry…" he murmured, going from too loud to almost too silent instantly, making her chuckle lightly. "When are you coming?" he asked.

"I'll be on my way soon, just wanted to check with Grandpa if we could all have lunch together…"

"She wants to talk to you…" she heard his voice, obviously speaking away from the phone and after some noise the phone was handed over to Jim.

"Hello Katie!" her father's voice greeted her warmly.

"Hi dad!"

"How was your date?" he asked and the knot, which hearing her son's voice dissipated, was back in her stomach.

"I'd rather not talk about it, dad…" she groaned.

"That bad? Oh, Kate…" Jim said but he respected her wish not to talk about it because he instantly moved on. "You coming over for the little one soon?" he asked.

"Yes, I thought we could have lunch." she said.

"I'd love that! Go out or cook here?"

"I'll get us some take out if that's good." she offered. "Chinese maybe?"

"Sounds good. See you here, Katie!"

"See you, dad!" she said, ending the call. She put her phone on the counter and threw away her now completely empty coffee cup before she headed to her bedroom. She took a quick shower, changing out of her running clothes into jeans and a shirt before she left for her father's place.

….

She arrived at her father's place a little over an hour later with two bags full of take away boxes of food and she rapped her knuckles against the wooden door, straightening her back and willing any remaining sadness or bitterness away from her thoughts.

The door was pulled open a little clumsily and she looked down to smile at her son, who looked all too proud of himself for opening the door alone.

"Hello, mommy! This is Jim Beckett's manor, how may I help you?" he asked in a mock official tone.

"Have you two been watching Downton Abbey again?" she laughed as she stepped in, ruffling his hair.

"Maybe..." he said. "I'll announce you to his lordship." he saluted and ran off towards the living room.

Kate put the food onto the kitchen island before making her way to the living room, where sure enough, an episode of said TV show was on, both her father and her son sitting on the couch and focusing on the Tv, immersed in it.

"Hi dad!" she greeted him.

"Ssssshhh!" Matt sushed her with an annoyed eyeroll and she had to stiffle her laughter as he turned back to the Tv.

Jim pushed himself off the couch and walked to her, steering her out of the room with a hand on her elbow.

"Hello sweetheart! How are you?" he murmured once in the hallway.

"I'm okay, dad. Though I'm not sure that show is suitable for a five-year-old." she nodded towards the living room.

"Don't worry, we're only watching the kid-friendly version. Anyways, he's only interested in Mr. Carson's scenes so we're usually skipping the rest. Just so you know, his new dream job is a butler." he told her with a grin.

"Oh great, he can do some housework to train at home, then." she joked.

"I don't wanna be a maid, mom. The butler doesn't do housework, he just orders the other servants around..." Matt appeared in the doorway, looking at her like she was stupid for not knowing even the most obvious facts.

"Okay okay." she chuckled, surrendering.

"I'm hungry. Can we eat?" he asked, already walking towards the kitchen.

"Sure, go ahead and set the table."

"But mom, butlers don't have to set the..." he whined exaggeratedly at her but she interrupted him firmly.

"Then maybe butlers don't even deserve dessert, say, ice cream after lunch, huh?" she told him pointedly and her warning had its desired effect, Matt let out a pained sigh and stomped into the kitchen.

"Very sly." Jim smirked.

"Why thank you." she grinned at him and they both headed towards the kitchen too.

...

Later that afternoon, after another episode of Downton Abbey and probably way too much ice cream, Kate and Matt said goodbye to Jim. Her father repeatedly assured her that if she needed to talk he was there and even though she appreciated it a lot, it made keeping the whole thing out of her mind for a day that much harder.

Arriving home, she found a box on the doorstep with an envelope on it, addressed to her in an all too familiar handwriting. Matt immediately grabbed the box, excitedly shaking it and pushing his ear to the top to hear better.

"Careful, sweetie! I don't know what's in it…" she warned him and he stilled his hands, head still tilted above the box.

She looked down on the envelope, smoothing her thumb over the paper and swallowing hard, feeling the unease return to the pit of her stomach.

"Mommy, the door!" Matt reminded her and she quickly unlocked it, allowing her boy in first. He put the box on the table, being extra careful, acting like it was something explosive and it made her grin despite the letter in her hand. "Can we open it?" he asked hopefully.

"Umm…" she hesitated, not knowing what could be in it, but deciding whatever it was she didn't mind sharing it with Matt. "Sure." she nodded.

He pulled at the lid excitedly then a gasp escaped his mouth as soon as he caught sight of the box's contents. Kate couldn't see what was inside because the lid blocked the view from her eyes so she rounded the table to come and stand behind Matt and her heart did a little jump when she finally set eyes on it.

"Look mom, cupcakes!" Matt squealed in delight but that wasn't what made her insides constrict. There were letters on each cupcake, and what his five-year-old mind didn't put together just yet, she easily did and read the message there, clearly custom made for her. It read: I am sorry Kate

The envelope in her fingers suddenly felt like it weighted a million tons. Like it was made of fire and would burn the skin of her hand any minute if she didn't open it instantly. She threw it on the table, plunging her hands in the back pockets of her jeans instead.

"Can we eat them?" Matt's question tore though her thoughts.

"Yes, but only after dinner." she said, making him groan and let go of the lid, causing it to thud softly back into place.

"That's so far away..." he sighed dramatically, making her chuckle.

"That pout you got there, it's not gonna work..." she told him with a smirk and he huffed and stomped off towards his room. "Hey! What do you wanna have for dinner?" she called after him.

"Cupcakes!" he answered smartly and she shook her head with a grin.

When she heard the thud that signaled that he closed his door her eyes involuntarily found the envelope on the table. She took a deep breah and knowing that it was no good to delay opening it, she reached for it and sat down onto one of the chairs. Pulling out the folded paper, she felt her heart hammering in her chest and sure enough, unfolding the page she found the same familiar lettering.

Dear Kate,

I thought a lot about what to send as an apology gift. I've never sent one, you know. I mean, what could ultimately mean 'I screwed up badly, please forgive me'? I even searched online and that's where I found the idea for muffins. Then I changed that to cupcakes because I know you love them, even though you pretend not to.

I hope you'll like them.

Rick

She swallowed hard, feeling confused and helpless. Yes, this was the man she wanted to go out with, this considerate, silly, a bit clumsy but entirely well-meaning man. She really didn't know what happened, what could possibly have gone wrong last night.

With the knot still in her stomach and her feelings swirling inside her she reached for her cell and typed in a quick text to Lanie, asking her to meet up response was almost immediate, her best friend ready as always to be there for her, for which she was infinitely grateful.

She put the letter back into the envelope and after one glance at the box she opened it and changed the places of some cupcakes so they were only a couple of sweets with letters on top. She really didn't want to have to explain to Matty what it meant... Then she put the box onto the counter and started preparing dinner.

This is it for now. I hope you liked it and I'm sorry if you didn't. Please write me a review and tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading, your support is really appreciated! :) I realize you guys have been quite right in saying I'm dragging this out too long and I promise I won't make it long now, only two or three more chapters I'm actually working on them and I think I'll post the rest of the story in a week or so! So until then, xxx