Sins of the Past – Chapter Twenty Five
Author owns no rights what-so-ever to Firefly, nor the universe in which it lives. He writes solely for his own amusement. It's okay not to sue him.
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"Morning, Jayne," Inara smiled as he walked into the galley. Inara and Chelsa were fixing breakfast.
"Mornin'," he nodded. Inara fought a frown. Jayne was still in a mood.
"Mornin' Daddy," Chelsa beamed, kissing him on the cheek.
"Mornin' Princess," Jayne smiled, hugging her in return. Inara had to fight not to stare. The change in Jayne was nearly instantaneous. She busied herself with cooking to cover her surprise.
"What we havin'?" Jayne asked. "Smells good."
"Ham, biscuits, and gravy. And scrambled eggs." Chelsa rattled off the menu.
"Sounds good," Jayne nodded. "Boy up?"
"In the cargo bay," Inara told him. "Holly will be on his way up from the engine room shortly. We'll be ready to eat in just a few minutes."
"Okay," Jayne nodded. He left, walking to the bridge. He never touched anything here, not knowing how to fly. He liked to sit here, though, and look out at the stars. Long as no one else knew it.
"Jayne?" He turned, seeing Inara looking at him.
"Already?" Jayne asked. How long had he sat here?
"No, not quite yet," Inara shook her head. She crossed to sit in the pilot's chair. "Chelsa is finishing up."
"Girl's turned into a good cook," Jayne smiled.
"Yes, she has," Inara smiled. "She's making herself a better prospect for Liam, I think." She laughed.
"Good cookin'll do that," he replied, looking back out at the black.
"Jayne, I'd like to talk to you." He looked at her.
"Go ahead," he told her.
"About River," Inara tensed, but Jayne just shrugged.
"Okay." Inara wasn't expecting that, and wondered if his reaction was good, or bad.
"I know you're upset about this," she began. When he didn't react, she frowned.
"Everyone else is, too, you know," she tried.
"She ain't married to ever'body else," Jayne said evenly. "But, reckon she ain't gonna be married to me much longer."
"What?" Inara was shocked at the calm response.
"I don't aim to play second fiddle to no one, Inara, and that includes Mal," Jayne told her flatly. "She runs off to help him, don't even give me a head's up, don't allow me no input, nothin'. This is after she asked me not to get involved no more, mind ya. But, with Mal's problems addin' up, she's just got to help Baba." He made the familial term sound like a disease.
"Jayne, he tried to talk her out of it," Inara said.
"I'm sure he did," Jayne sighed. "But at the end o' the day, he took what she offered. Ain't sayin' it's his fault," he held up a hand to Inara. "It's River's fault, Inara. Whatever happens, if anything happens, it's all on her. I won't hold Mal responsible. But he should have found a way to keep her out o' this. I told him he should have arrested her, if he had to."
"I suggested he use the safe word," Inara admitted. Jayne looked at her.
"Hell, I never thought o' that," he growled.
"Mal hadn't either," Inara shrugged. "But she had. She vaguely threatened him, if he were to use it."
"Figures," Jayne snorted. "Well, like I already said, I don't really blame Mal. And, I promised Simon when we hooked up, she was free to stay or go as she pleased, and I'd never try to make her stay, she didn't wanna. And," he sighed, "she didn't wanna."
"Jayne, don't think that way," Inara admonished.
"Ain't no other way for me to think, 'Nara," Jayne shrugged. "I ain't the one what left. She is." He rose at that.
"Girl oughta be done with breakfast by now. I'm hungry."
And that, Inara figured, was that. She decided there was no point in bringing the subject up again. At least not on this leg of the trip.
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The next three days drug by. River had never worked like this, hour after hour of the same thing, over and over. It was monotonous. Tedious. Boring. To tears.
But she kept smiling. Her job might have been just a cover, but if she didn't work, then he might see through her. It was important that the killer take the bait. If he didn't, then someone else would die.
Mal was worried sick. Simon had given him medicine for stomach acid, as Mal had developed permanent heart burn. Simon hadn't been angry with him, but had been distant. Cool, professional. Kaylee had flat ignored him.
It's not my fault! he wanted to scream, but knew it wouldn't help. So, he didn't.
He sighed, looking at the little observation post. Three men were sitting in the windows, behind a screen that was supposed to make them all but impossible to detect. All but, Mal winced. The man they were after was smart. There was no telling whether he could see them or not.
At least their system seemed to be working. River was never out of sight except when she was in her room. She was under constant surveillance when she was at work, or on her way to or from the job. The only time she wasn't under direct observation was in the house, and it was surrounded.
He still worried, constantly.
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He went to the store again after three days. He had to be careful not to be there over much. This time he simply walked in, made a few minor purchases, and left again. It was difficult, since she was there, but he managed without a hitch.
She had smiled at him again. A shy smile, but without guile. He twinged a bit when she smiled at him. She wasn't like her. He had never had any interaction with him victims like this. They were rarely nice, which simply made his actions easier for him.
This one was different. While she looked like her, she was nothing like her at all. Or, he told himself, so it seemed. He had fallen for that once before. But this one really did seem different.
He pondered that as he walked along. It was different, and he didn't much like different. No, he didn't like different at all.
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Jayne had decided to stay overnight on Astra. He had spoken to Inara about it before making the decision, since he didn't want to extend the trip without her approval. He knew she didn't like being away from Mal so long.
But Inara had readily agreed. So, once the cargo was unloaded, they had decided that the four of them would go out for a while. Holly, happy with the lay over, slipped away as soon as Jayne had given him the nod that it was okay to do so. Jayne didn't know where he went, figuring it was none of his business. He was certain Holly had himself a girl on Astra. But he was always back on time, and always did his job well. Jayne saw no problem.
He, Inara, Chelsa and Liam went to eat, then walked around the shopping district, mostly looking at window displays. After a few hours, though, everyone was ready to head back. Jayne made sure the boat was secure as everyone else turned in. On the ground they rarely kept a true watch anymore. Astra's docks were fairly well patrolled.
Soon, everyone was settled in for the evening. Jayne didn't expect to be able to sleep, and he wasn't surprised by it. He found himself on the bridge, looking out at the night. He thought about the long road that had led him to be where he was this minute.
He relived the events that had led him to be aboard Serenity, the things that had transpired while he was aboard, his near refusal to go along to Miranda. The letter from Book that had changed him so much. Had changed his life so much. All that time, and Book had known who he was all along. That man had been a caution.
He missed Book more than ever at this moment in time. Book would have known what to do. What for Jayne to do. How to handle the sudden change his view of the world around him had under gone.
He was still angry, he admitted to himself. After all of River's little 'observations' about married life, she had been the one to abandon them all. Jayne wanted to be mad at Mal, but knew that the fault didn't really lie with him. He didn't think Mal had worked over much on stopping her, though. Oh, he was sure Mal went through the motions. He would never willingly allow harm to come to River. Loved her like a daughter, in fact.
But, as Jayne had pointed out, there was no secret how much pressure Mal was under. Nor was it a secret, at least not among those who knew him, that Mal's health was suffering in part because of all that pressure.
The entire community was practically trembling in fear over the killer. Jayne could understand that. He had seen it before. But that didn't mean that River had to run off, trying to 'save' everyone. He had told her, time and again, how smart Ghoul had been. How vicious, how dangerous. You couldn't play with a man like that. Hadn't they learned anything from what happened to Reeves? Hadn't River?
But then, River was smarter than Reeves, wasn't she. And River had never been shy about acknowledging how smart she was, or how deadly she could be. He knew how River's mind worked. She was a genius, and a trained assassin, ergo, she was more than able to handle the Ghoul. Regardless of how smart he might be, or how well trained he was.
He sighed, leaning back into his seat and trying to relax. This wasn't helping him. He realized that during the last few minutes of thinking, his teeth were grinding against each other, and his muscles were as tense as if he were about to go into battle. More tense, in fact, since he was usually relaxed before a battle.
Why couldn't she listen, just this once? he thought to himself in despair. Just once, admit that someone might know something she didn't, and follow someone else's advise. Why?
Hours later when he finally managed to drift off to sleep, he had no answers. Just more questions, and more doubt.
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Companion left the next day. Inara was at the controls, which left Chelsa chomping at the bit. Now that she could do it, she wanted the controls every time the ship left the ground. Jayne had admonished her, however, not to let her attitude show, or she'd regret it. Chelsa wisely took that warning.
Once they were in the black, Inara set the auto-pilot, and went aft to the galley, leaving Chelsa in charge on the bridge. She hid a smile at Chelsa's attempts to hide her impatience. The girl wanted to fly. Well, so did Inara, and she had seniority.
Jayne was seated at the galley table, cleaning Vera. He didn't need the great rifle much anymore, but he went through the ritual anyway. Long practice insisted on it.
"We're on our way home, Jayne," Inara smiled. She fixed herself a cup of tea, and sat down.
"Good deal," Jayne nodded, concentrating on his rifle.
"Are you still angry?" Inara asked bluntly. Jayne did look up then.
"A bit, I reckon," he said simply. "Hard not to be."
"You should try and get it out of your system," Inara advised him.
"I have tried," he shrugged. "Ain't workin'. I'm tired o' bein' tired, if ya know what I mean. Even if this works, and I ain't so sure it will, she'll just do it again, she takes a notion. I can't live that way, Inara."
"You know, you did something like this, when we first arrived on Argo. With Zhang?" Inara kept her voice even.
"Ain't the same," Jayne shook his head. "Man was a threat to us all. Killed my friend, hurt River, and would have killed all of you, given the chance. That was somethin' that had to be done for our safety. Our well bein'. This ain't like that."
"She does match the victim profile," Inara reminded him. "And so does Chelsa, to a lesser extent. And Becca Phillips."
"And all of'em were well protected," Jayne replied. "I'm sorry 'bout them others, I am. Could I do anything about it, I would in a second. But sorry for them don't translate to puttin' my people, my family, at risk. Period."
"River see's this as something that must be done, Jayne," Inara shrugged.
"No, River see's this as somethin' only she can do," Jayne corrected. "She's over confident, and filled with pride. She's so certain that she's the only one who can stop him that she's willin' ta bet her life on it. But, thing is, she's got responsibilities here. To me, the girl, to Simon. To all of you. But she chucked all of that aside, with little or no thought about me, or Chelsa. To run off and help Baba, put herself in the worst danger she can imagine. And she ain't got a clue what kinda man she's up against. Not a clue."
"She believes she does," Inara pointed out. "Perhaps you should have more faith in her, Jayne. Faith in her and her abilities."
"Inara, I got faith in her," Jayne shook his head. "She ain't got faith in me. She ignored my warnin's. Like she knew more'n I did about this, cause she's some kinda super-genius. I can't possibly know somethin' she don't, cause I ain't smart like she is. But I do know a little somethin' 'bout this. And she just blew all that off. This was one challenge she should'a passed on."
Inara considered that as she sat there looking at him. It was true, River had always been willing to bet her smart's against anyone else's. And she had, since Miranda, been supremely confident in her abilities. Not without merit, Inara thought.
"Jayne, what if she's right?" she asked finally. "What if she's the only one who can stop him? And does it?"
"Good for her," Jayne nodded. "'Spect Mal oughta hire her as a deputy, that was to happen. That way she can save ever'body, and get paid for it. At least then, when the next time rolls around, it'll be her job, and not just a whim that hits her."
"I don't think it's fair to consider this a whim, Jayne," Inara shot back. "She put a great deal of thought into this."
"'m sure she did," Jayne nodded. "Just not no thought about how it would affect me, or the girl. Just how it would affect Mal. Like it or not, Inara, accept it or not, she'll always put what Mal needs above me. And the girl. That ain't right, nor fair. You don't do Mal that way, do ya?" he challenged. "Zoe don't do it to Goldie, neither. And, no matter what I've ever had to do, I ain't never put nothin' above her, Inara. Not once since we been together. Everything I done since we got together, has been for, about, or around her." He paused, taking a calming breath.
"That's all I know how to do," he finished more calmly. "And she don't. She. Don't."
With that, Jayne turned his attention back to his rifle, signifying that the conversation was over. Inara sighed in frustration, trying to find a way to refute what Jayne had told her. But his argument was well presented. While it represented only his view, she had to admit that it was well done.
Try as she might, she couldn't find a hole in it.
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River walked home, her feet hurting, her back hurting, her legs hurting. How anyone managed to do this kind of work day after day, week after week, was beyond her. After only five days, she was ready to scream. At least she didn't have to work tomorrow. It was her day off. She had checked the weather, and it was supposed to be nice. She planned to pack a lunch and sit in the park, drawing. She would also take a book to read.
Mal and the Marshal's would have the park covered from on end to the other, so she would relax, unwind, and rest her poor tired feet. And legs. And back.
She trudged along, looking just like any other hourly wage earner who was at the end of a five day work week. Trying not to think about Jayne, and what state of mind he was in. She had not heard from him since she'd begun. It was better for her 'cover' if she didn't, of course, but she had thought, hoped, he would wave her. Tell her he understood. That everything was okay.
No such wave had been forth coming, however. Once more, she wondered if this time she had pushed to hard. To far. She had been so certain of how he would react. Yet, she was wrong.
Did that mean that she was wrong about this? It was unusual for her to doubt herself. Yet, there was a tingling bit of doubt at the back of her mind, right now. She didn't know if it was because of Jayne's reaction, or because she was pursuing the wrong track here.
Either way, it was positively annoying.
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He watched her as she went home. Of course he knew where she lived. He wondered if she would go out with her friends tomorrow. She had seen her with them before, the older couple. Others. Perhaps she would meet them again.
Or, perhaps she had plans of her own. He would watch. Wait. See for himself what she did. He had not gone back to the store again. The minor twinge of conscience he had felt earlier annoyed him. Threatened to interfere with his work. He couldn't allow that. Wouldn't allow it. He was more disciplined than that.
So he would watch her, and plan his move. Everything was in readiness, once she was taken. All he had to do was find the right time, right place. And he would.
He always did.
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The next day River packed a lunch, took her sketch pad, and a book, and walked to the town park. Once there, she choice a place out in the open, spread her blanket on the ground, and sat, looking about her. Children were already playing on the swings and other equipment, parents, mothers at least, watching carefully. She sighed at that, wondering if she would ever have the opportunity to watch carefully as her own little Jayne or little River played on those swings. If the long silence from her husband was any indication, it was unlikely.
She wondered, idly, why she didn't just stop. Go back, admit she was wrong, and ask him to forgive and forget. Wondered more accurately, perhaps, why she couldn't. Was it because she would be admitting she was wrong? That she had been wrong in her approach to this? In hindsight, she had been so sure that Jayne would be angry, blowing and bellowing about like a great bull, or bear, but knowing all the while that he would give in.
Only he hadn't. Instead, he had reacted just the opposite. As soon as she had told him she didn't need his 'consent or permission', that she had 'already decided', that had been it. Instead of her Jayne, whom she loved more than mere words could express, she had been left facing the warrior. Shade. Cold, pitiless, unforgiving.
Even now, a week later, she felt a shiver at the memory of the cold voice, flat, emotionless eyes, and the steely voice that she had heard more than once, but never, not even once, directed at her.
Until now. She sighed, on the verge of tears as she realized she had, perhaps, made a terrible mistake. One that could cost her every scrap of happiness she had managed to find since her life had been torn to shreds by Blue Sun.
"Awfully pretty day for tears and a frown, ain't it?" a stranger's voice broke into her thoughts. She whirled around, facing a small, wiry man, smiling at her in a friendly manner. She had seen him before. . . .
"Sorry, I'm Bret. Bret Hardin. I seen you this week a few times in the variety when I stopped by for stuff. New there ain't you? Least I don't recall seein' ya 'fore this week."
"Hello, Mister Hardin," River smiled. "Yes, I am new. I remember you now. I started just a week ago. My first day off," she waved around her.
"Well, looks like a fine way to spend it," Hardin nodded. "I shouldn't have butted in, mind," he apologized. "Just, I saw. . .well, never mind all that. Anyway, just thought to say hi. Have a good day!" With that he started to walk away. River paused, thinking. She had to play the part.
"Don't run off on my account!" she called happily. "There's room for more. Might even find an extra sandwich, if you haven't eaten already." Hardin looked at her for a moment, clearly thinking.
"Well, was on my way to Rose's just now to eat," he admitted. "Still, I hate to be a party crasher. I appreciate the offer though, miss. . . ."
"Peggy," River used the name they'd made for her. "Peggy Sams. And you aren't crashing if I invite you."
"Well, put that way, I guess I ain't," the man nodded. "Well, okay, then, Miss Sams, I reckon I'll take you up on that." He walked over and sat down on the farthest corner of the blanket from River.
"Please, just Peggy," River smiled. "Here you are," she handed over a sandwich, and a bottle of soda.
"Just Bret then, I reckon," he smiled, taking the offered food and drink. He tasted the sandwich, and his eyes lit up.
"Wow, that's good!"
"Thank you," River blushed slightly. "It's just a sandwich."
"Hey, it's a good sandwich. Big difference."
"Well, yes, I suppose there is!" River giggled lightly, playing her part out. "You come to the park often?"
"When it's nice out, like today," he nodded, gesturing around him at the activity. "Makes me feel less alone, sometimes," he added quietly.
"I know what you mean," River agreed, somberly. "I'm still alone, I guess, but I'm surrounded by people, so technically I'm not."
"Right," Hardin chuckled. "Sounds like we read the same books."
"Oh I love to read!" River exclaimed. "I was going to read here today, later on. I was just sitting here for a while gathering wool, as my Baba would say."
"Who might that be?" Hardin looked apprehensive. "I don't want no angry farmer comin' for me with a shotgun over a ham sandwich, no matter how good it is!" River laughed.
"No worries there," she assured him. "My family lives in Mount Talmidge. I came down here to attend the new finishing school that's starting soon. I'm going off planet soon, so I want to be polished up before leaving. Want to be able to fit in when I get to the Core, you know."
"Well, reckon that makes sense," Bret nodded. "Going to school off world?"
"Yes, on Osiris," River replied, with just a touch of haughty in her voice. Not much, but a little. "I'm going there to study ballet." She had deliberately picked something that would enable her to make a better cover. The best lies were hidden in the truth.
"Sounds like a big deal, especially for a small moon girl, long way from home."
"Well, it may be a small moon, but we're not uncivilized," River sniffed. "And no matter where you are, a little culture can't hurt."
"Too true, that," Hardin agreed, toasting her with his soda bottle before downing a drink. "Well, I'm sure you'll do well. I take it that moody look before was over leaving home?"
"My father doesn't want me to go," River pouted slightly. "He and my mother argued over it most of last year. I think these killings were what made him decide to let me make the trip. Figures I'm safer there than here."
"Could be he has a point," Bret shrugged.
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"What in the blazes of hell is she doin'?" Mal asked no one in particular.
"She's playing her part, Mal," Toby replied. "She's supposed to be out and about, making herself available. This is on the script."
"Sittin' and talkin' with a total stranger ain't on the script!"
"It is when you're lookin' for a total stranger," Toby sighed. "Mal, we got five men watching her every move. She's as safe as we can make her. And she ain't really weak and helpless herself, now, is she?"
"That don't mean. . . ." Mal caught himself. No one wanted to hear it. And it distracted them from their duties.
"Mal, we get it," Toby told him. "Why don't you take a walk. Stretch that leg, get some air. Ain't nothin' gonna happen, and if it does. . . ."
Toby's last words were cut off by the sound of an explosion. One so powerful that it shook the ground around them.
"What in the hell was that!"
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"What. . ." Bret jumped up, turning to face the sound of the explosion. River was up beside him in an instant.
"What in the world was that?" she asked, wide eyed. She was instantly on guard, remembering the man digging the hole right in front of the jail in which to hide Reeves.
"I. . .I don't know!" Bret sounded a bit winded. His mind was full of fear, uncertainty, and the need to try and remain calm in front of a pretty girl. River had to hide a smile at that.
She was still hiding the smile when she felt the pin prick at the base of neck. In the seconds before she went under, she could see Bret Hardin, smiling at her, holding her up in his arms.
"Don't worry, Peggy," he said calmly. "I've got you now."