Chapter Summary
In which Nihlus is bored and rude.
Chapter Notes
Lexicon: Cubitura - Turian couch built wide and deep, padded and angled to accommodate crest and spur
Tarin/Torin – Female/Male adult Turian (Credit: MizDirected)
Tarini/Torini – plural forms of Torin/Tarin (Credit: MizDirected)
Nais – Pronoun for Asari (Credit: MizDirected)
Caerulea – A mildly derogatory word for an old Asari (Credit: AceQueenKing)
Hideth Turram - Popular Turian sport, somewhat akin to capture the flag (Credit: MizDirected)
Ungentira – A large, ferocious predator native to Palaven's high mountains, known for taking on prey 3-4 times their size (Credit: MizDirected)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
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Saren, while not particularly talkative, was constantly working on something. Whether it was non-critical maintenance, custom armor modifications, or even just reading. He read a great deal about the widest, most eclectic variety of things. It was no wonder the man seemed to know something about everything. When not killing enemies of the Council, he was always busy learning, fixing, inventing...
It didn't change the fact that Nihlus was bored as all hell. In fact? It sort of just made him jealous.
The three of them were in the common area, Garrus on one side of the settee, Saren in the single person seat sitting caddy-corner to it, while Nihlus flopped gracelessly in a pile of pillows on the floor. He missed Blue's amazing cubitura, that massive thing could have held them allsprawled out on it.
He spent a good several minutes imagining that sprawling. He started to hum at the pleasant mental images of hide and teeth and tongues...
Saren coughed, loudly.
He quit humming, and rolled over with a huff. A mid-pause game still waiting patiently for him on the datapad by his head. It wasn't really catching his interest though. He'd asked them both what they were doing enough times that Saren had threatened bodily harm if he asked one more time. Then again, their sniper hadn't complained...
He opened up a chat window and forced it to connect directly to the datapad Garrus was reading on.
/CONNECT:1886039_to_ [skipped]_to_8892561
Connecting...
Connected.
NK: entertain me
He could see Garrus' fingers move to check the message notification. A moment later he replied.
GV: You are literally holding a device that has a connection to this vast and wondrous thing called an 'extranet'.
NK: yeah, and im still bored
GV: [Link: /live_turian_ladder]
Nihlus clicked the link and was amused for a solid twenty minutes watching the circus act that was entirely composed of athletic tarini who stacked, folded, lifted, etc themselves into ladders, bridges, and all sorts of crazy people-made-shapes.
NK: that was awsome! what else ya got?
GV: [Link: /badass_primarch_stops_assassins_during_hiddeth_turram_game]
NK: holy shit, I want to grow up to be that cool
GV: Not going to happen.
NK: oi!
GV: [Link: /crackshot_sniper_hits_target_3907_meters]
GV: That's who I want to grow up to be.
NK: that is srsly impressive. whats your longest shot?
GV: 3,739 meters
NK: dont liiiie, i wont think less of ya
GV: No, really. It's on record with my old squad, confirmed kill.
NK: no shit. who was the target?
GV: Uh, pretty sure I can't just tell you that, would need permission.
NK: spectre~~~
GV: Point.
GV: Well, her name was Taisamal Anttaria. Secessionist forces.
GV: She'd blown up a bunch of buildings with people in them.
GV: Was planning another. I put a stop to that.
NK: secessionists? what, with a hastatim squad?
GV: ...yeah.
NK: sounds like a story there?
GV: Not a good one.
GV: [Link: /quarian_dance_party]
NK: pppffft, subtle. okay, let see this dance party...
NK: unf. those hips dont lie
At that moment, Saren's ire with them typing to each other, very obviously, while in the same room finally reached critical mass. He stole both their datapads with biotics.
"For the love of the spirits, use your words."
"We were using our words. Also, by the by, sharing vid links? Kinda hard to do without a datapad..."
Saren just glared, tucking said datapads into the space between his leg and the armrest.
"Welp." said Nihlus, popping the 'p'.
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About two hours before their FTL travel ended, a communication ping began flashing on the CIC holo ring. Saren rose to answer it, calmly pacing to his chair, -and it was definitely his chair, seeing as no one else was allowed to sit in it-, and accepting the call.
"Good afternoon, Spectre Arterius." Saren nodded cordially to the Asari on screen, an absolutely ancient looking nais with pink facial tattoos and grey eyes.
"BB! My favorite person in the galaxy! How are you, sweetheart?" Nihlus could practically feel the incredulity on Garrus' face at the vicious subvocals that underlined his otherwise joyful words. Well... no, the Officer was probably too polite to let it show on his face. Probably thinking it though. Nihlus smiled widely.
"Kyrik." Was the only reply he got from the caerulea.
"Awww, don't be like that. It's so nice to hear from you, don't spoil the mood."
"Your last report had three spelling errors, eight grammar errors, two misleading statements, an incorrect time stamp, a forged piece of evidence that you could have simply stated was inauthentic, and had a broken link to 'relevant information'."
"Really? Sorry about that, sweetheart. That link was working when I added it."
"Don't talk to me." He sighed like his heart was broken, meanwhile letting out a long string of mocking subvocals, using the exclusive language to call her all sorts of creative names. He could practically hear Garrus choking back his reaction. Probably laughter.
"BB. What can we do for you?" Saren, ignoring their active animosity, requested politely.
"I've got some updated intelligence for your current mission. Sending it now." A data transfer request popped up, and Saren used a strange hand motion to send it to another section of holo-screen, which cordoned itself off with a purple-glowing line.
"Thank you. I appreciate you sending it to me."
"Of course, good luck on your mission." The connection closed and Saren let out an aggravated sigh. Garrus had stepped up to his previous spot on the right side of the command chair, putting him closest to the separated file transfer. It appeared to be nearly done downloading already.
"What is it?"
"A trap, of course." Nihlus pitched in. Garrus turned to look at him confused, and he smiled craftily. "BB is a spy for the Salarian Union. She reports Spectre movements back to STG, and uses her position to hand out spyware riddled mission-critical intel." Saren grunted in affirmation.
"Indeed."
"Seriously? If she's a spy why hasn't she been removed?" Garrus' tone, while not sounding particularly surprised about the situation, did sound displeased with the ongoing, intentional betrayal inherent to it. His subvocals were humming 'traitor' and agitation. Nihlus, casually braced against the chair back, swayed closer to Garrus at that sound. The simple and clean honor about the torin like the sweetest perfume...
Saren kicked his heel back into Nihlus' shin. Oh, humming again. Oops.
"She is left in place because she is a known quantity. Most Spectres have figured out her games, and work around them. If we replace her, someone less... ineffective might take her place." He proceeded to open the file and began tearing away at it, like an ungentira at the stomach of a fresh kill.
"That... is a lot of obvious, inelegant code."
"Yes."
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Chapter End Notes
A/N: Yes, Nihlus thinks about sex in public, and makes inappropriate noises. He wouldn't know body modesty, shame, or chastity if it mugged him on a cold day and stole his lunch money. Seriously. And yes, Garrus really is that much of a sniper badass. You don't even want to know how much farther his record is then the current irl sniper records. Then again, I'm presuming that shot involved a hell of a lot of luck, preemptively known coordinates (Like a specific chair, or a bed even...) and a notable amount of machine aided math.
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