AARON & JACKSON

-How To Save A Life-

"Inner Strength"

Jackson cleared his throat. "Put it down the sink Aaron"

Aaron panicked and quickly shook his head whilst still staring at it in his hand. "I don't want too"

Jackson was panicking; he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "You haven't come this far to wreck it all now"

Aaron scoffed. "It's all wrecked anyway isn't it Jackson?"

"No, no it isn't…Look babe I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for you but if you take that stuff you're back to square one again and you'll find that you'll still feel the same, the last thing you need to deal with is another come down"

"I-I looked at Sam earlier and I realised that was me before and the way he looked disgusted me and I told him I wasn't going back there and I won't but Jackson…I-I just want this…I need it"

Jackson had started crying as he listened and he rushed over and sat beside him at the table and held his free hand tightly. "You don't need it babe, l0-…look at me" Aaron looked him in the eyes as Jackson squeezed his hand. "You don't Aaron, please, please let me get rid of it…d-do it for us babe"

Aaron sobbed and hung his head and shook it.

"Hey…I love you, you know what that means don't you? Love…"

Aaron shrugged sadly, he'd gotten lost again, he and Jackson weren't like a couple they had just barely started to become a few weeks before.

"As love is my witness I swear" he sang in a hushed tone with a small smile he couldn't help. "I'll be with you till the end…nothing can tear this love apart…that was the promise I made to you" he stopped and Aaron's sad face and teary eyes met his. "That's what it means, I love you so much my heart is breaking and all I want to do is help you through this"

"You've hardly touched me" Aaron sobbed out.

That was something Jackson had not expected and it had thrown him. "What?" he asked softly with a frown. "But I am…"

"Yeah…now…but since…but I can hardly blame you right?"

Tears streamed down Jackson's face. "T-Things have just been up in the air Aaron…but you haven't exactly been coming to me for comfort, a-and I know this is the last thing on your mind and it wasn't discussed before all this but I've never wanted to make love to somebody as much as I do with you right now"

Aaron shot a look at Jackson, he hadn't expected that. "What?" he asked in almost a whisper.

"You heard me right…" Jackson told him with a nod. "Y-you keep pushing me away and all I've wanted is to feel close to you, to make you feel safe and that everything's going to be alright…and I've wanted to look after you a-and…that's the most intimate way of showing you that…I'm not pushing it or suggesting it but it entered my mind…I'm hurting for you too you know"

Aaron was speechless as he stared into his brown teary eyes.

"Everything is going to be alright babe; you have HIV, so what? It's not the end…we can still be happy, and I'm not asking you to accept it straight away but at least back down and let us in because I'm at a loss right now, we all are…"

Aaron slowly looked away and pulled, gently away from Jackson's hand as he got to his feet. Jackson watched curiously. Aaron swallowed hard as he opened the bag of cocaine and he tipped it into the sink then turned the tap on, he even turned and showed Jackson the empty bag before putting it in the bin. When Aaron sat back down Jackson held both of his hands. "You did the right thing"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he replied quietly. "Everyone knows Jackson, everybody"

"I know, I know but stuff them…you're still you and you can rise above anything because you're Aaron Livesy, the man I love" Jackson tried drilling it into his head, he could indeed rise above it all and most importantly that he loved him. "If they don't like it that's their problem, you aren't a label Aaron, you're a human being, a person just like the rest of them, yes there's a difference, a difference enough for us to have to make changes but it doesn't affect them and it never will"

Aaron suddenly leapt from his chair and wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck and clung to him and he cried out sorrys and thank you's to him. Jackson held on tight too and reassured him it was okay, that he understood his behaviour. After their long hug Aaron was practically sat in Jackson's lap but he didn't mind and he kept him there with his arms around his stomach. Aaron blew out a deep breath and looked into his boyfriends eyes. "I do love you, I don't say it enough but I do and I don't want you to ever think I don't"

"I know you do"

"A-and I'm not saying this because of what you just said but I'm ready…Jackson I want you, I need you"

"Aaron babe, are you absolutely sure?"

"I'm sure Jay…" Aaron said as he nodded his head. "Take me to bed, please"

Jackson nodded and without any more words he stood up with Aaron in his arms and he carried him up, both smiling at each other as they ascended the stairs.

The rest of their night was the most pleasurable and euphoric either of them had ever experienced, Jackson made love to Aaron until the early hours, he was so considerate, so gentle, loving and caring which made Aaron feel worthy of him, he hadn't recently but Jackson proved yet again that he always would be to him, no matter what and that night simply proved that they would still have a sex life and considering he didn't remember their time on holiday it meant that this was their first time, for Aaron anyway and he was blown away, with each thrust into him that Jackson made it was propelling his mind and soul even further up to cloud nine, even just the touch of their skin sent him higher, them both higher, it was the ecstasy, the euphoric feeling he needed, not the one the drugs gave and despite no words passing either of their lips he was grateful to Jackson, he always would be and in his own ways Jackson knew how grateful he actually was and how much he was loved by Aaron, it made him give more of himself to him and the moans and groans leaving Aaron…well Jackson knew he had been understood. After their intense pleasurable love making they fell asleep together in each other's arms.

…

Aaron woke to the sound of cutlery clinking and he opened his eyes with an etched frown on his brow but it faded quickly when the sight of his well-endowed naked boyfriend stood at the side just having placed a tray down with breakfast on it.

"Morning gorgeous" Jackson said with a smile as he pulled back the bed sheet and got in to climb over Aaron's own naked, bed warmed body. As he climbed over Aaron grabbed him so he was practically sitting on his lower stomach.

"You made breakfast, naked?" Aaron asked bluntly which made Jackson laugh.

"I did and I would really, really love it if you had some"

Aaron sighed with a smirk. "How can I refuse you?"

"Oh" Jackson grinned. "So basically next time I need you desperately to do something when you're being so stubborn and you won't, I should just get naked and ask then?"

Aaron smiled and even chuckled. "Err yeah basically"

Jackson chuckled too and climbed off Aaron to let him sit up and he lay beside him and simply stared up at him.

"Last night Jackson it erm…" he stopped feeling shy and nervous all of a sudden and his flushed cheeks gave it away. Jackson smiled and simply waited. "Well it was the most amazing and perfect night of my life and if it's possible, well it has to be because…I loved you more last night and I woke up now loving you even more"

"God I love you so much"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "You are the drug I've needed" he scoffed. "Don't take that funny or out…"

"No, no…course not I know what you mean, go on"

"I- I just wish you were here back then, you know? I might not have made so many mistakes if you had been"

"But the important thing is I am now and I'm not going away, last night was the most amazing and perfect night of my life too, it just shows that the connection we have is there, always was and is certainly reignited again"

Aaron definitely agreed. "I-It didn't feel awkward…"

"Course it didn't, we were safe, that's all we have to be"

"And we will"

Jackson leaned up onto an elbow and exaggerated as he looked around the room. "What?" Aaron asked and started to laugh. "What you looking for?"

Jackson sighed and turned back to his man. "Well see…I'm looking for my boyfriend, I've lost him, he looks like you just a bit more…" Jackson pulled a face which Aaron knew was meant to be a copy of him when he was in a one, or being stubborn.

"Yeah very funny"

"Yeah it is funny…" Jackson said happily while leaning closer into him as he looked into his eyes. "Cause I've not seen him for a very long time"

"Oh" Aaron shrugged. "He must have bogged off then, got fed up of making people's lives a misery I expect"

Jackson simply grinned. "Come here you" he growled as he pulled Aaron back down and moved to lie on top of him. "Breakfast can wait, I'll make something later"

"You do that" Aaron told him as he grabbed hold of either side of Jackson's face and lifted his head up slightly to kiss him, his kiss was passionate, tongues clashed and swiped against one another as both of them began to rise to the occasion that was coming, morning love making, but it wasn't Jackson's turn, oh no!

TBC…