I Think About That

Jo had just finished feeding Briar and laid him down in his bassinette for the night with a kiss to his forehead when Alex emerged from the bathroom wearing only his boxers hair still wet from the shower. She looked him up and down appreciatively causing him to smirk when he caught her eyes. She was in bed leaning against her pillows propped on the wall. When he climbed into bed beside her she immediately turned to him and pressed her lips to his. After a long passionate kiss they pulled apart, "Hey," Alex chuckled brushing Jo's hair back.

She snuggled up against him laying her head on his chest. A few moments of silence passed before Jo spoke, "I went to the doctor the other day," she started as she traced her fingers over his hard abs, "She cleared me… for… everything."

He cocked his eyebrow and looked down into her face with confusion, "You've been back to work for almost three weeks now already."

She blushed looking away and shyly said, "I know. That's not what I'm talking about." She smoothed her hand lower on his abdomen stopping to fiddle with the waistband of his underwear hoping he would get the hint. Chancing a glance up at him and seeing a clueless look still on his face Jo rolled her eyes and pushed him back slightly. She laid over on him and kissed his lips, his chin, and his neck running her hands all over his muscled torso.

Finally catching on, Alex grinned and felt heat rush to his most intimate parts. He wrapped one arm around Jo's waist and placed the other one up the length of her back for support as he flipped them. She instinctively spread her legs so he could easily fit between them. Looking down into her face he saw the love and lust he was feeling reflected back in her eyes. He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb across her lips before leaning in for a scorching kiss. Their tongues danced and dueled as they moaned with pleasure into each other's mouths. Moving away from her lips, Alex left a trail of wet kisses, nips, and sucks across her jawline, up to her ear and down her neck. All the while he caressed her soft body with his strong hands feeling the heat radiating from her skin. She matched each stroke of his hand on her body with one of her own on his leaving fire in its wake. They shared a night so hot, so passionate, and so intimate. Each touch and move they made screamed of their love and desire for one another.

As they laid in the dark breathing heavy, basking in the afterglow and coming down off their highs, a small whimper filled the quiet room. Jo rolled out of Alex's embrace and got up to go to the baby. Alex looked on with love and admiration as Jo softly cooed and talked to Briar while she nursed him. When she went back to bed, his arms were open and waiting for her. She laid down with him wrapping her arms around him pulling him close. They shared sweet tender kisses that led to another round of breathtaking love making.

Alex was already up moving around the kitchen with Briar in his arms when Jo got up late the next morning. It was Saturday, her day off, so she had slept in. She greeted her boys with a bright smile when she saw them together, "Good morning," she moved to them giving each a kiss.

"Morning, you look like you slept well," Alex commented with a smirk. She nodded in return and grabbed a box of cereal. While they were seated across from each other at the table eating breakfast, Alex tried to find a way to broach the subject on his mind. He finally spit out hesitantly, "Um… last night…"

Jo broke into another big grin as her face flushed with pleasure at the memory, "Yeah, it was amazing," she breathed her eyes glistening.

"Well, yeah, it was," he agreed with a smile of his own then shook his head, "but we didn't… use anything… ya know. We can't take any chances…"

"Oh no!" she exclaimed stopping him, "It's okay. I got a prescription for birth control. I'm on the pill now. Dr. Welch told me we were okay to… to have sex… after two days of starting the pills." Relief washed over his features. "Sorry, I forgot to tell you about that part," she apologized sheepishly.

He shook his head, "No, it's fine, I was just beating myself up this morning for being so careless and stupid. To be honest I didn't even think about it once last night. I was too caught up in what we were doing. And then I went to get this guy out of bed," he indicated the baby in his arms lifting him up and kissing his cheeks, "and thought, oh crap, I can't get her pregnant again. We can't have another baby."

"Yeah, that would be worst timing ever," she agreed making faces at her son.

Alex went to make some repairs in one of the other apartments later that morning while Jo went to do the grocery shopping. She stopped by and picked up their mail from their slot on the way back up to their apartment. She dropped the grocery bags and mail on the table, lifted Briar out of the baby sling she had placed him in on her chest and then put the groceries up. She grabbed the pile of mail and settled down on the couch. An envelope from university housing caught her eye as she flipped through. She opened it and studied it confused. Classes started on Monday and it was a bill for the apartment for this semester, but Alex had a scholarship, she thought to herself, he said it covered the housing.

It had to be a mistake, she mulled it over and over in her mind. Unless… she got up from the couch getting her check book and rifling through a drawer until she found a bank statement. She pulled the document out of the opened envelope and gasped when she saw the 485 dollar discrepancy. She couldn't believe her eyes and felt like she was going to hyperventilate she reached out for the kitchen chair and sat down heavily. She never looked at the bank statements, just tossing them unopened in the drawer, because she kept her checkbook meticulously and Alex knew how she was so he always always told her about any checks he had written, or at least she had thought he did.

Alex got home about thirty-five minutes later. He breezed into the apartment kissed Jo on top of the head as he passed by her on his way to the fridge. He grabbed a soda popped it open and plopped down on the couch next to her putting his feet up, oblivious to what was coming.

Jo turned on him with a glare and threw the bill in his lap, "What the hell is this, Alex?" she demanded.

Stunned at the outburst he picked up the paper and looked at it eyes widening, "Umm…" he stalled trying to find and explanation.

"You said your scholarship paid for this. Tell me this is a mistake. And then explain to me why we have 485 dollars less in the bank than we should. Four. Hundred. And Eighty-five dollars," she stressed every word. "That's a lot of money to lose track of, Alex." When he still didn't speak but just looked at the floor ashamed, she blew out a breath and asked hurt, "Why did you lie to me?"

"My scholarship does pay for part of it, but not all. I didn't know that at first. Not when I told you. When I told you it was covered I thought it would be. But it only pays up to the price of a single shared dorm room; we have to make up the rest. I couldn't tell you that when I found out. You had so much on your mind as it was. You were pregnant and having to find a job. How could I throw that on top of all the stress you were already carrying around? I was trying to take care of you, to protect you," he tried to explain desperation creeping into his voice.

"It doesn't help me if I don't know how much money we have. How much stress do you think I would have felt to find out we were overdrawn?" she spat back.

"I wasn't going to let that happen. I tracked our account; every month when the bank statements would come I made sure we were okay," he shrugged. How could he tell her he felt like a failure as the head of their household; like he couldn't take care of his family? He already hated that she had to work so hard to support him, but his scholarship was supposed to pay for their housing that was his contribution and he couldn't even get that right. He hadn't wanted to admit that to her. He couldn't stand that he wasn't the one providing for their family, it killed him to think about it.

"That is not good enough, Alex. We are in this together, I need to know what's going on too. And it hurts that you lied to me about it," she expressed quietly.

He groaned, "I told you, I didn't mean to lie about it. I just didn't know!"

She sighed, drained, "It's the same thing. You let me keep thinking it and you didn't tell me about the money that was taken out of our account."

"Well, I'm sorry," he replied flippantly, "What do you want me to do about it? I can't go back in time and change it now." He knew he was being unfair and that she had a right to be upset but at the moment he wasn't sure who he was really angry at, her or himself. Truth be told he was lashing out because he was feeling like he had failed his family once again, but he couldn't see that.

Now she was getting mad all over again at his uncaring attitude, "I want you to be responsible!" she yelled with wide angry eyes. "We are all we have," she lowered her voice and gestured between them, "If we mess up we don't have anyone. There is no one there to bail us out." Her voice cracked and the hard look on her face wavered as fear crept in.

The scared look that crossed her face and the tremble in her voice only acted to fuel Alex's feelings of failure which in turn fueled his anger. "Don't you think I know that!?" he shouted at her. "Don't you think I think about that every damn day? Don't you think I have thought about it every damn day since I knocked you up, got you kicked out of your home, married you and moved you here? I'm supposed to take care of our family!" he jabbed his finger into his chest, self-loathing seething out of him, "So yeah, I know there is no one to catch us if we fall. Don't you think I think about that every time I see you go bust your ass at work, waiting on people, serving people on your feet all day even when you were nine months pregnant? You're doing my job, Jo. I know that, okay; I know you are the one supporting this family. And I know we don't have anyone else. I think about it every damn day, okay!" He grabbed his keys up off the table and stormed to the door yanking it open.

"Alex, wait," Jo called after him. She jumped as the door slammed shut behind him and then collapsing back on the couch she burst into tears covering her face as she was overcome with sobs.