Chapter 25 of Grace Potter, I own nothing but those mentioned in previous chapters. Okay so this is a special chapter for reaching twenty five chapters. The whole thing will be in Sirius's POV, so we can see what I believe would kind of be Sirius's major fear if he had been a father in the actual series and/or what would make him decide not to father any children. I hope you all enjoy.
I had to be dreaming, why else would my father be standing in the livingroom of number 12 Grimmauld Place? It being a dream would also explain why there were half naked women sitting around the room.
I took a step forward only to find my father did the same. Every move I made was copied by him. "No it can't be," I whispered as a small fear crept into my stomach.
The livingroom door opened and a small head of hair poked into the room, "Dad, mom is wandering when your party is going to be over."
The man's face went from happy to anger faster than I had ever seen, the words that left his mouth in the next second proved that the fear I had was not for nothing. The man who looked so much like my father opened his mouth then yelled, "Orion Mathew Black, what the hell have I told you about interrupting me?" then a slap landed on the boys, landed on my son's, face sending the door flying open the rest of the way and my son onto his back in the hallway.
"Daddy please," Orion cried as he grabbed the man's arm, the man I realized to be me, as the man, as I, swung my hand down to connect once again with his cheek.
"Shut up you stupid ingrate! You stupid, useless, little freak of a boy!" the man had pulled off his belt as he said this. The sound of it hitting the boys skin was like a whip hitting an animal.
"Stop," I yelled trying to get the man in my dreams to stop hitting my son in the same manner in which my father had done to me my whole life.
A spot of light blue came running down the stairs and suddenly Rose was there, her clothes were bloody and there was a scar across her cheek. "Daddy,"
The sound of my little girl seemed to make the dream me even madder. He spun around to face Rose, the whip lashing out toward her and connecting with her side. "Did I tell you to come out of your room, did I?"
WACK – the whip landed against her exposed leg. My little girl, my little Rose, screamed in pain as she fell to her knees.
"Did your whore of a mother let you out, did she?" Dream me yelled as he grabbed the girl by her neck.
Rose shook her head no over and over, tears falling freely down her cheeks as Orion slowly got back onto his feet.
"Dad please, don't hurt her!" Orion yelled
The sound of running feet came from upstairs then Grace's beautiful face appeared over the banister, though it was no longer so beautiful. Her hair was a dark black color, her eyes looked to be grey, and her beautiful face was now covered in scars. As she opened her mouth to speak I knew it was a bad idea. "Sirius please stop, come upstairs and we'll talk about it."
"How dare you tell me what to do you slut?" dream me roared as he threw Rose back onto the ground and headed up the stairs. "How dare you go against me and my punishments?"
"That's not a punishment Sirius, that's abuse!" Grace yelled back, even though I could see fear clouded her eyes "That's the same thing your parents use to do to you!"
The slap landed on my Grace's face as I had expected. She barely had time to realize what had happened before dream me grabbed a handful of her hair and literally dragged her down the hallway.
They were going toward the bedroom and I knew perfectly well what dream me was about to do. I didn't follow them through the door, but I was unable to wake up as well. Grace's screams of pain filled the house and my heart shattered at each one.
If I ran downstairs I would find my children crying and bleeding just as I had been almost every night of my miserable life with my parents. If I went upstairs I would hear the screams of pain from dream me forcing himself onto the love of my life, something my father had done many times with my mother.
I was my father.
With just that statement my life ran through my head if I had been a Slytherin, if I had made all the decisions Regulus and Bellatrix had made. If I had been like my brother and my cousin I would've been like my father.
It was that one choice I had made that changed everything, the choice to be a Gryffindor and to befriend James, my brother, which made me who I am.
I was in a room full of mirrors, everywhere I turned I looked just like my father the last time I had seen him that night when I was sixteen. I was grey haired, mean looking, evil eyed just like he had always been.
My hands clinched into fist when I remembered Grace's face full of fear, my children bleeding on the floor. A cry of anger left me, my fist slammed into the mirror, blood was pouring out of my body, and as I felt life slipping away my dreamself whispered six words before his life ran out, "I am not my father's son,"
Darkness was all that was left, and then my angel, my saving Grace was calling for me. My eyes opened a little then widened as I bolted into a sitting position.
"The Hospital Wing," I whispered taking in my surroundings
"Where did you think you were Padfoot?" James chuckled as I slowly stood up.
I shook my head then jumped when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. Grace pulled her hand back then whispered "Sirius, are you alright? Is something wrong?"
My dream ran through my head and I had to clutch the bed post to stop from falling onto my knees in pain and anger. I was not going to be like that man, not if I could help it.
As I looked into Grace's eyes and ran a hand down her cheek I knew I wasn't my father. I had Grace and two kids that I love more than my own life. I had a younger brother who I was finally getting along with. A brother and sister that finally had back in my life, a brother who was the best person in the world. And I had two great nephews no matter what anyone says.
I had a great life, and I was better than my father. I had the ability to love and care, to understand and see the world in a different light then he could never see.
But as I sat in the hospital wing and held onto the family I had always dreamed of the fear of being my father still lingered. Having the knowledge that ever male in my family had abused their wives and their children made me wonder if Regulus and I would someday act like that, if there was something inside of us that makes us mean and evil toward the only people who would love us no matter what.
But as Harry hugged me, and Orion and Rose called me daddy I knew that Grace would have to be dead, and the kids would have to hate me really bad for me to ever be anything like Orion Arcturus Black.
So here it is, I hope it was good. I liked it anyway, review please.
Go on hit the button, you know you want to.