Chapter Twenty-Four "The Caretaker"

Sam honestly thought Dean's idea was one of the craziest he'd ever had. For one thing, working with ghosts was dangerous, even for the most powerful vampire save one. And it was a longshot that it would even work. Plus there was the issue of getting the angel tablet fragments from Gadreel. If he even still had them. There were too many variables.

But Sam did as Dean asked—because Dean had asked—and called Mrs. Tran. Apparently, she had saved Sam's number as well, because she knew it was him.

"Sam?" Her voice sounded understandably concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"When is something not wrong?" he replied. "But for once, that's not why I'm calling. Dean has this idea that Kevin might still be able to help us figure out a problem with angels."

"Don't you think you've asked enough of him?" The bitterness in Linda's voice was unmistakable.

"I know," Sam said. "I know we have, and I'm sorry. For everything."

"Doesn't the fact that he's not alive anymore mean he can't help you?"

"That's what I thought, but Dean thinks it's worth a try. I wouldn't ask, but Cas is gonna die if we don't find a way to save him."

Linda was quiet for a moment. "What exactly would you need Kevin for?"

"We need to find out more about angel grace and how it works. Cas is losing his, and we have to find a way to stop it."

"So you need him to read the tablet again?"

"Theoretically. If we can get it back, and if he can fix it."

"That's a lot of ifs."

"Yeah, I know. Dean's always been an optimist."

"I'll talk to Kevin. No promises."

"Thank you," Sam said.

He hung up and felt like a jerk for even asking. But part of him was excited too. The thought of seeing Kevin again, even as a ghost, was encouraging. Maybe Dean's optimism was starting to rub off on Sam.

~oOo~

Kevin watched through the grayish haze of intangibility. He knew his mom hated it when he spied on her, but it was easier to be invisible unless he needed to make himself known. He tried to conserve his strength, to keep focused, keep calm. The alternative wasn't an option to Kevin. He wasn't going to become the sort of monster the Winchesters tracked down. Especially since he knew there was nothing they could do about it now.

"I know you're there," his mom said suddenly.

Kevin flickered into visibility. "You're getting better at that."

"Comes from living with a ghost." She set the phone down and sighed. "So you know. They want your help again."

Kevin nodded. "It's not like I can get hurt now."

"No, but... but it could be stressful."

"Mom... I want to do something. It's so quiet in here alone. I don't eat; I don't sleep. It's like I don't exist. But if I did something, I might... I might still be here, you know?"

"I know." Linda stared out the window of the front room. "I've always tried to protect you, but I failed."

"No you didn't. Mom, I failed you. I let myself believe you were dead because there didn't seem to be any way to save you, but I should have tried harder. I should have made Sam and Dean listen to me. I should have gotten the truth out of Crowley."

"I don't blame you. It was that demon's fault, and no one else."

"But I still want to help Castiel. If there's anything I can do, I want to do it."

Linda nodded. "Of course. I'll go pack." She headed for the stairs.

"Thanks Mom," Kevin whispered.

She heard him.

~oOo~

It took some convincing for Castiel to agree to go visit Gadreel. He didn't think there was much good in asking about the angel tablet. Even if Gadreel agreed to give it to him, it didn't seem as if Kevin would still be able to read it. Or fix it.

The sterile office building was the same as before. Castiel had four cups of coffee before the receptionist told him he could go up to the top floor. On the long elevator ride, Castiel thought of what he would say, how he would explain his predicament. By the time he reached the top, he still hadn't come up with anything particularly good.

The office doors opened, and Castiel walked slowly down the length of the room. Gadreel was seated behind the desk, looking harried and somehow tired. He looked up, almost seeming surprised to see Castiel there, though he must have known he was coming.

"Castiel," he said warmly, though there was stress in his voice. "As always, I am glad to see you. Please sit down."

Castiel took one of the chairs across the desk from Gadreel. "I apologize for disturbing you now," Castiel said. "I know you're very busy."

"It never stops. If you are here about your grace, I still have angels searching for it, but there has been no success yet."

Castiel nodded. "I understand. That is, indirectly, why I'm here. I wanted to know if you still had the fragments of the angel tablet."

"Of course, but... what could you do with that?"

"Likely nothing, but since the last prophet is still a ghost, there is a small chance he could still use it."

Gadreel looked sad and sorry and confused all at once. "The chance, I am afraid, would be very small indeed."

"I know. I don't expect anything to come of it, but there's no harm in trying, and Dean is insistent."

Gadreel's eyebrows raised. "Sam found a way to bring him back?"

"Yes. He will soon be seeking out the Alpha."

"And then what? Will he kill him and take his place?"

Castiel shook his head. "He intends to go back. To... die again."

Gadreel seemed mildly impressed. "A noble sentiment."

"It's my fault." Castiel looked down at his hands. "That he's a vampire, that any of this ever happened."

"I very much doubt that you are solely to blame, brother. It is never that simple."

Castiel looked up again. "But I want to do all I can to help him, and this is what he's asking."

"He does not want you to die." It was obvious, but the way Gadreel said it made it sound somehow more profound.

"No," Castiel agreed. "I have accepted my fate, but Dean hasn't. If it helps him to keep trying to save me, who am I to argue?"

Gadreel got up and crossed the room to a cabinet full of drawers. "Your case may not be entirely hopeless," he said as he searched for the right one. "I will let you know if we find anything more in Heaven, but for the time being—" He pulled open a drawer and lifted out a plain wooden box. "—you are welcome to this."

Gadreel handed the box to Castiel. There was an Enochian design in the lid that prevented certain beings from opening the box. Castiel pushed the lid back with his thumb and saw the shattered remains of the angel tablet lying inside.

"You've kept it here on Earth?" he asked, looking up at Gadreel curiously.

"The tablets were meant for human prophets," Gadreel replied. "Not for the angels. It seemed fitting to bring it here."

Castiel nodded and closed the box. "Thank you," he said.

"There is no need," Gadreel said. "Even if the only prophet is a ghost, the tablet belongs with him."

Castiel stood and tucked the box under his arm. "I will not keep you," he said.

Gadreel put his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "I am always pleased to see you, brother. If there is anything more you need and it is within my power, I will do all I can to help you."

"You have already done much in this, in promising your help with the vampires."

"Such is no more than my duty."

"Some would disagree."

"Then let them attempt to do better."

Castiel smiled. Gadreel might not have even realized it himself, but he was beginning to develop a sense of humor. Castiel took that as a good sign, a sign that he would understand the humans better and see things from their perspective. It was a long road, as Castiel knew from experience, but even with all the bad that had happened, he still believed it was worth it.

~oOo~

Dean knew he should have been working on the actual reason he came back to life. He should have been hunting down other vampires and find out what the Alpha was planning. He should have been doing a lot of things, but this thing with Cas—a lot of things with Cas actually—kept him preoccupied.

Of course, the trouble was that Cas had gone to see Gadreel and Kevin was a maybe, so there wasn't really anything for Dean to do about it at the moment. He needed to get out. He needed to do something normal.

Sam had started going over some potential vampire hotspots, so that was as good a place as any to start. Dean joined him at one of the library tables and asked what he had found.

"The list of things I haven't found would be shorter," Sam replied with a weak smirk. "Finding them isn't going to be an issue."

"So let's pick one and get started."

"You think that's the best way?"

"What do you mean?"

"Attacking them one at a time. They just keep making more."

"I'm not talking about a systematic purge. That would be stupid, not to mention impossible. But Someone's gotta know how to find the Alpha. Jody said he's been feeding them orders directly."

"If that's the case, why don't you and Benny just tap into that whole mother consciousness thing?"

"Because that would be suicide. He would know exactly how to find us. I've been able to block him so far though. He probably knows I'm back, but I'd rather not lead him here."

"Okay, so we need to work our way up. Benny told me that the more generations between the Alpha and the vampire, the less they're connected."

"So the ones Cas and Jody ran into in Massachusetts were probably higher up."

"Right, and they only killed one of them." Sam reached over to type something into his computer, but suddenly stopped with a grimace on his face.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam pulled back his right arm and repositioned it to take the weight off his shoulder. He used his left hand on the keyboard more effectively than Dean would have expected him to be able to.

"You should probably get that shoulder looked at."

"I will later," Sam said absently. "There have been more reports of deaths in the area CAs and Jody killed the vampire. It doesn't look like they've moved on. They're not afraid of us."

"Which is probably the worst news ever for any hunter. But seriously. You almost got your arm torn off. Why haven't you gone to the hospital yet."

"I've been busy."

"No you haven't." Dean stood and moved around the table. "Come on." He grabbed Sam's good arm. "Benny can look into this."

"He shouldn't go on his own," Sam said, resisting less than Dean expected.

"Then Emma or Jody go with him. I'll take care of it. You just get ready to go."

Benny was just coming into the room as Dean was herding Sam into the hallway. "What'd I do this time?" he asked.

"I need you to check out a nest," Dean said, giving Sam a push toward his room. "Don't go alone."

"What's wrong with him?" Benny cast a glance at Sam's retreating form.

"His shoulder. I'm taking him to the hospital since we somehow overlooked that until now."

"You've had a lot on your mind." Benny's tone indicated that he was saying more than he let on.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Benny shrugged. "Just that your situation with Cas is a bad idea."

Dean wasn't really surprised that Benny knew, but having it confirmed was more than he was prepared to deal with today. "I know," he finally said.

"No, you probably don't." Benny shook his head. "Feeding off someone you know is a neverending host of problems. You never get that taste out of your mouth."

"There's not a lot I can do about it now."

"No, but if you don't get his grace back, he's going to die."

"I know." Dean nodded slowly. "Take Jody with you. She knows where the nest was last."

Dean pushed past Benny and headed down the hallway after Sam. He knew it wasn't the best way to leave things with his friend, but he couldn't keep talking about all that. He had to keep focused on the hope of finding Cas' grace or he wouldn't be able to function. Surely Benny understood that.

~oOo~

Sam sat in the passenger seat of the Impala, and now that he really let himself think about it, his arm hurt more than he'd been willing to admit. It felt like it was sapping all his energy away, and he felt cold. That wasn't a good sign. He knew he should have gone to a hospital the day he got back, but he let himself get distracted with Dean and everyone else.

As soon as Dean got in the car, Sam felt a thick tension in the air. It was as if Dean could project stress in his vampire state. Which made Sam wonder if the nest in Massachusetts were all he had talked about with Benny.

"You okay?" Sam asked as they drove down the dirt road, his arm jostling painfully with every bump.

"Fine," Dean replied sharply. But he had that funny voice that he got sometimes since he'd become a vampire that Sam didn't really recognize.

"You were talking about Cas?" he asked. Because what else could it be?

Dean shot Sam a vicious glare. "What?" he said flatly.

"It's okay," Sam kept his voice as calm as he could. "I know. I'm not gonna lecture you or anything because Benny's much more qualified to do that, and I kind of just want to go to sleep."

Dean focused on the road again. For a long time, he didn't say anything, glaring straight ahead with his hands turning whiter than normal on the steering wheel.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he said softly, surprising Sam.

"I know," Sam replied. "Cas told me about it a long time ago."

"He did?"

"Back when you were dead and we were hunting together. We were talking about how to kill the Alpha and how he..."

"How he killed me?"

"Yeah. It was an awkward conversation. But I know he was just trying to save you, so it's not your fault that... that it's the way it is now."

"I shouldn't have come back."

"Dean, you're the only chance he's got."

Dean looked over at Sam with an ironic expression. "I could also kill him, Sam. Not really the sort of risk I want to take. But there's no going back now. Unless someone wants to send me, and I get the feeling I won't be quite so willing this time."

"So... you plan on staying? For good?"

"No. The deal still stands. Speaking of which, when are you going to cut your hair?"

Sam forced himself to laugh and shook his head. "Maybe after the hospital."

He knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up about Dean changing his mind. It seemed like such a long time ago they had been standing outside that portal planning Dean's return. It was only a few days, though, and Dean still displayed that same grim determination to die that he had before. Maybe things would change in the time it took to kill the Alpha. Maybe Sam would come up with an argument to convince Dean to stay. Maybe no one would be willing to kill him. Somehow it all seemed far fetched, and the reality of losing Dean again stared Sam in the face.

Sam tried to think about anything else. He thought about how much his arm hurt, and once he started, he couldn't seem to focus on anything else. It was getting worse the closer they got to the hospital. Sam let his eyes close, trying to internalize the pain. No matter how many times he'd been through similar experiences, he always tried to keep Dean from seeing just how much it hurt. In some twisted way, he was trying to protect his brother because it seemed like all Dean ever did was look out for him. And Dean had enough to worry about right now.

By the time they reached the hospital, Sam didn't want to move. It took Dean coming around and pulling him out of the car to get him moving toward the ER entrance. The prospect of filling out paperwork sounded like the least fun thing ever.

Thankfully, Dean just led him to a chair and went to talk to the receptionist himself. Sam leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes again. Just for a little bit. His wound wasn't that bad. He'd be home by lunch time.

I've finally run out of extra chapters, so I'm going to have to get on top of things this week and write some more. Thanks to all of my readers. I love you guys.