Burning Bridges: Chapter 25

Alex laid in bed with multiple IVs and wires attached to her, monitoring her heart rate. She tried to open her eyes, but all she could see was shadows from beneath her eyelids, scaring her. The faint sound of an ECG machine beeped meticulously next to her, annoying Alex to great depth. She wanted so desperately for the ringing in her ear to stop.

"Ugh." Alex tries to speak, though the words barely audible to anyone but herself. She frowned, realizing a tube had been inserted down her throat, covering half her face and providing her with necessary oxygen. She suddenly felt frozen in time. Her body was paralyzed in a state of complete desolation. Realizing she couldn't move at all, Alex began to panic. The shadows in front of her continued to move around her, elevating her ECG signals a beat as she became more aware of her surroundings. She wasn't alone, someone was with her…

In an instant, she could feel a firm hand reach for her's; holding onto her tightly. It calmed her. Her heart rate returning to normal. "Sean." Alex thinks. She knew it was him by her side, even if she couldn't make out his face just yet.

"Hey, angel." Sean's voice spoke to her. He had a hint of sadness in his tone, she didn't understand why. "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I just wanted you to know I'm here..." He says softly. "And I'm not going anywhere until I can see those pretty little blue eyes of yours looking back at me." He smiles, imagining her reaction in his head. She had been reduced to a coma for days now, he was scared she might never wake up. "So you have to stay strong okay? The doctor said you'll be alright..."

Sean glances at Alex's heart rate monitor. He notices the steady beat of her heart and smirks. "Hey Alex," Sean smiles as he looks over her, "Do you remember that mission... the one where Nikita and Michael wanted us to rendezvous with them to a dead drop?" He pauses, wondering if it was safe to bring up this memory. "Just before, you called me and asked if I was up for it... and I replied, 'yeah, of course'." Sean takes a moment to gaze back at Alex. Her expression so peaceful, as if she was really listening to him speak.

Alex wished he could see her smile. She was listening to his every word, remembering each detail. "I remember..." She thinks to herself. The logistics of it was still foggy, but she remembered this phone call. She remembered him coming to her door and greeting her before their road trip to the drop point. "You came to pick me up..."

"I told you I could pick you up in fifteen minutes and you yelled at me 'cause you said it takes longer than fifteen minutes to get ready." Sean laughs. "To this day, I still don't understand how that works, because to me, you look beautiful no matter what... I'm serious." Sean glares at her, sensing if she could hear him, she would argue that point.

To his credit, he was right, Alex wanted to argue with him. She also wanted to laugh at this, he knew her so well. In her mind, Alex continued to smile back at him, loving his presence by her side. She rested fondly in bed, holding onto his hand as she tried her best to remember the scenes he was describing...

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Alex asks Sean again as she steps out of his car.

Sean closes his side of the door and steps around to fully see Alex's face. She stared back him, questioning his motives. "Wouldn't be here if I wasn't." He replies.

"After everything you've been through?" Alex wonders.

"Hey, you miss your mom too." Sean counters.

She did miss her mom, Alex remembers. She felt her heart swell up at the mention of her, causing the ECG monitor to send out a chaotic signal.

"Hey Alex," Sean comments. He squeezed her hand again, letting her know he was still there. He kept her calm. Her heart rate regulated itself again with his touch. "You know, after everything we've been through... I really hope you know your mother misses you too." He gives Alex a sad look. "I wish you could remember her, Alex..."

"It's different..." Alex argues as she walks along the grass with Sean by her side. "One day I'm going to see her again."

"I know, but sitting around grieving's not going to help." Sean replies. "But kicking Percy's ass will." Alex looks down as he speaks, pondering his words. "That's what we're here for right?"

Alex snaps out of her memories for a moment, suddenly remembering her mother. "Wait a minute..." She begins to think, "My mother's alive?"

"Your mother is still alive, Alex." Sean answers her thoughts. "She is, I know someday you'll remember her just like you're remembering all the little things, and we'll go visit her wherever you're hiding her, because you need to see her again." Sean smiles.

The realization finally hit her, everything Nikita and Sean had tried so hard to convince her back in Russia and at the hotel in New York was true. If only she had believed them sooner, they wouldn't be in this mess now. "My mother is still alive." Alex smiles at the thought.

"One day you will see her again." Sean tells her. "I promise you that. I'll take you... we'll travel across the world searching for her if you can't remember where she is. But before we can go, you need to promise me one thing first... you have to promise me you're going to fight this and open those pretty little blue eyes of yours again." He smirks.

Alex wanted so desperately to open her eyes. But somehow she couldn't. Her comatose was overwhelming her body as she continued to heal from her wounds. She saw flashes of her mom in Russia and of the cabin in the middle of the Abramtsevo Forest where they used to hunt butterflies. "I remember." She gave Sean a slight squeeze.

He looked back at her confused for a second. "Alex?" Sean asks. He felt her touch. The doctor had told him if he felt her move it might be a reaction to anything he was telling her.

"Hey," Sean leans in, resting his arms alongside her bed as he continued to hold onto her hand. "I never told you this, but I was happy when you called me." Sean continues. "You know, after my mother died... there really was no reason for me to stick around this place, but Alex, you gave me a reason." Sean squeezes her hand again. "You gave me a reason to keep on fighting." He gives her another smile, wishing she would return one too. He missed the way she would grin back at him whenever he said something sweet like that.

"It's funny..." Sean starts to speak again, he shakes his head, not liking what he was about to bring up. "That day you got shot... going after Mia with Nikita, I was so worried about you." He pauses, looking back at Alex again. "I thought I was going to lose you." He frowns.

"When I first heard over the radio, the news... Alex is down! Alex is down!" Sean acts out Nikita's words, "My heart dropped. I thought, nooo... no, this is my worst fear." He explains. "I ran down corridors screaming, I had to get to you." His voice begins to crack as he recalls the scene. "I had to make sure you were alright... and then there you were, like nothing even happen. I walked up to you and you asked me why I was still here, like it never even occurred to you..." Sean pauses, getting a little frustrated. He wanted to feel her touch again. "Some things are worth fighting for." He chokes out. "That's why I stayed... I stayed because dammit Alex, you're worth fighting for! Don't you know that?" He stops to gaze at her, wishing she would give him the time of day. "Please wake up."

"Hey, you awake?" Michael knocks on a door, startling Nikita in the process. "I didn't mean to scare you." He smirks.

Nikita sits up from her chair and glances at her fiancé. "Oh, no I'm still awake." She gives him a small smile but he didn't like it.

"Nikita," Michael sighs. She had been sitting idly by Ryan's side whenever she wasn't visiting Alex in the room next door. "You need to get some rest." He says frowning as he walks over to her side.

"I will later." She argues. Michael gives her a look but she tries to change the subject. "How's Alex?"

"Sean's with her." Michael replies. "He hasn't left her side in days."

"I still don't how we ended up here..." Nikita frowns. She looks over at Ryan and shakes her head. "Just a few weeks ago..." She pauses and glances at Michael, "Everything was so normal... well as normal as it gets for us, but now-"

"Hey," Michael takes Nikita's hand in his as he sits down in a chair next to her. "Sh, don't worry." He glances at Ryan and smiles. "We've got two strong hearts here. He and Alex, they'll both be up and about in no time."

"That's what we said when we first found Ryan and now weeks later, he's still in a coma, Michael..."

"It's not like we forgot about him though." Michael argues. "I know I haven't. He'll wake up when the time is right I guess."

"It's hard enough worrying about him, but now there's Alex... and on top of that, Amanda made a threat against Owen. Where is he?" Nikita wonders. "Does Amanda really know? Is he in danger? What's her next move? It's been too quiet, she-"

"She's been forced to go into hiding." Michael counters. "After Alex went AWOL at that press conference for the hockey arena, she had to make up some cover story."

"I'm sorry to inform you but Alexandra Udinov will not be able to make an appearance tonight." Nikita mocks Amanda's speech. "She has suddenly fallen ill." Nikita rolls her eyes. "Ill is an understatement."

Michael sighs, he sits back in his chair and looks over at Ryan in silence. A few minutes went by when a doctor knocked on the door. "Hey, Lauren." Michael greets her. She was the only Division doctor left after everyone else choose to leave. "What's up?"

"Just came to check on Ryan." She smiles.

"We appreciate that." Nikita thanks her. "You're a life saver, you know that?"

"More like guardian angel." Michael comments.

Lauren blushes. "I'm just doing my job."

"It's not really a job if we can't afford to pay you." Nikita argues.

"I don't mind..." She glances at Ryan and frowns. "I never told you guys this, because it was really not my place... after all, who am I compared to team Nikita?" She smirks. Nikita laughs at the label. "But when you two first took over after Percy and Amanda, I was ecstatic..." She looks over at Michael. "Happy, because you were always my favorite..." She stops and glances at Nikita. "No competition." She assures her.

Nikita laughs. "I wasn't assuming that."

"When I first came here, I thought I was worthless because I'm no good at that spy stuff. And while Amanda was busy trying to make me forget about my old life and morph me into a newer... better version of myself, Michael, you were the only one who told me not to change. You told me I had a gift. The ability to use my knowledge from my past experiences and save lives. So that's what I'm doing now and I love it. Plus Ryan isn't so bad either." She smiles at him.

Michael gives her a giant grin, proud of her. "I think after Nikita and Alex, you're my favorite recruit."

"You're just saying that." Lauren laughs.

"Never change." He walks over to her and places a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to go visit Alex and Sean now. Do you have any updates?"

"Oh yeah." Lauren walks over to the door and grabs a file. She hands it to Nikita. "Here's her CAT scan results."

Sean continued to sit by Alex's side, refusing to leave. He would get nervous even if he left for one minute to use the restroom or grab a snack. He was terrified she would wake up and disappear forever if he wasn't there to stop her. He sighs, looking toward a clock mounted on the wall.

Every now and then Alex would try to move her fingers, alerting Sean but it was rare. He was starting to think he was going crazy, imagining it because it seemed too good to be true. "Alex," Sean whispers her name softly as he brushes her hair away from her face, careful not to disturb any of her wires. "Can you hear me?" He asks.

Alex stayed still. Sometimes she could hear him. Other times her mind would wander off and she'd flash back in patterns of awareness. Sean sighs, he glanced at the clock again, watching as the hands ticked slowly. He tried to think of another story he could tell her... something that would make her smile if she was listening.

"Hey, Alex." Sean smiles. "Do you remember, a couple months ago, before things got too busy with work... there was that grace period? I found you hiding out in the barn again, like you always seem to do." He laughs. "I walked up to you and scared you just for fun and you twirled around and yelled back..."

"Dammit Sean! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Alex exclaims. She quickly hides something underneath one of the cushions she had stashed in the corner of the loft and walks over to him, playfully pushing him aside.

"My bad. I forgot how jumpy you are." He eyes the spot Alex was standing in front of nervously. "What are you up to this time?" He glares at her.

"What?" Alex laughs. She tried to give him a poker face but Sean knew better, this wasn't the first time she tried to hide things from him.

"I've caught you once before." Sean gives her a look. "Remember the evidence room?"

"How can I forget?" Alex smirks. "Mr. I don't have an angle."

Sean gives her a teasing look, he liked that she remembered that but now he was determined to figure out what she was hiding this time. He tries to push passed her, reaching for the cushions.

"Hey," Alex grabs his arm, stopping him. "It's nothing. I was just rearranging things... you know to make it more comfortable."

Sean flinched at her touch. He wasn't used to her being this close to him. "Sure, you were." He winks, "You're such a bad liar."

He tried his best to reach for the cushion again but Alex suddenly jumped on his back, wrestling him to the ground. "No!" She screams.

"Hey! What's your problem?" Sean laughs as she held onto him, desperately trying to fight him. It was useless though. She looked like a little kid trying to get a piggyback ride.

"Ugh." Alex finally gives up once she realized Sean wasn't even fighting back. She laid down on the cushions and stared up at the rafters in the barn. "Why do you have to ruin things?"

"What I do?" Sean questions. He sits down next to her. "You're the one keeping secrets."

"For good reason." She glares at him.

"What is it?"

Alex sighs and reaches her hand underneath a pillow, pulling out a small white box. "I didn't even have time to wrap it yet."

"What is that?" Sean eyes the box curiously.

"Your birthday present." Alex smiles. "I was saving it for next week, but I guess you can have it now." She hands it to him.

"Wait, no, if you wanted me to wait then I'll wait."

"No, it's okay." Alex sits up and looks him in the eyes. She gives him an excited smile now, "Open it." He took the box from her carefully, giving her one last look to stop him. She nodded her head, reassuring him. "I want you to open it, Sean."

Sean sighed and opened the lid, revealing a limited edition stainless steel Rolex watch. "Oh my god." He gives Alex a look. "Do you know what this is?"

"Well yeah, I picked it out." She laughs.

"Do you know how much this cost!?" He exclaims. "This is like $7,000."

"Actually, less than that... it used to be one of my father's watches. I found it in a collection when I was going through some of his things he left behind..." Alex pauses, getting a little emotional. "So technically I didn't spend any money on you if that makes you feel better." Sean gave her a look, still shocked. "Anyway, I don't really have any use for these kinds of things so I thought you would like it."

"Alex, I love it." Sean reaches out and gives her a hug.

"Well don't get too sentimental or anything, it's just a watch." Alex replies.

"Not just any watch." Sean argues. "It's one of your father's. I know how much his things mean to you."

"No matter what I said, you always insisted that it was no big deal." Sean explains. He shook his head, reaching into his pocket to pull out a different watch. The one Alex always held onto dearly for safe keeping. "This is your father's watch." Sean says as he reaches for her arm and clasps the metal around her wrist. "I don't know if you remember this, but I had Birkhoff restore it after he took that bug out... still sorry about that by the way." Sean comments. "Well actually, not that sorry because if it wasn't for that tracker, I would've never found you at the beach house and who knows what would've happen then." He laughs.

"Oh, and getting my ass kicked by you that night was the best thing ever." Sean adds. He gave her a look, sensing that if she was listening, she would be giving him the biggest smile. "The cold from being stripped down almost naked to a chair wasn't however... but at least you were there so I'm not complaining." He winks.

"Sean." Michael walks into medical, he finds his friend hovering over Alex's bed and smiles at the sight. "What are you doing?" Michael asks, walking up to Sean. He places a hand on his shoulder, snapping Sean out of his thoughts. "You should be resting too."

"Oh hey." Sean greets him. "I was just telling her another story."

"I heard." Michael smiles. He glances at the watch around Alex's wrist. "She's going to love having that back."

"I know." Sean gives him a small smile, but he couldn't stop thinking about the condition Alex was in.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Michael asks.

"Look at her, Michael…" Sean looks down at Alex. He runs a hand along the contour of her cheek, caressing her. "I did this to her..."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did." Sean retorts. "She was having a panic attack, Michael. I've seen it before. Her flashbacks… they're getting worst." Sean pauses, looking back toward Alex. She continued to stay completely still, trapped in her own mind. He frowned at the sight, wondering what she was going through right now. He hoped she couldn't hear this next part... "Whose to say it won't happen again?" Sean looks at Michael. "And the next time really does kill her?"

"It's not going to happen again." Michael tries to calm him. He didn't want to think like that. "Alex is going to be fine."

"You can't know that." Sean argues. "We still don't know exactly what Amanda did to her, and Nikita said anything could trigger her heart into overdrive."

Michael sighs and pulls up a chair next to Sean. "That doesn't matter." Michael says, sitting down. "If it happens again, we'll be right here to help her."

"I'm scared, if she ever wa-"

"When she wakes up." Michael corrects him. "No ifs."

Sean gives him a small smile. "Okay, when she wakes up... I'm scared she's going to run away again. Especially being back here." Sean looks around the room. "And especially after she realizes everything that has happen since-"

"Hey." Michael stops him. "Lets not worry about that now, okay? Let's just focus on the important thing right now, Alex's health." Sean sighs, giving in. He sits back in his chair and focuses his eyes on Alex's ECG. "I spoke to the doctor before I came here." Michael informs him. "She told me Alex's vitals seem very strong, we know she'll pull through this."

"Any word on that CAT scan?" Sean asks.

"There's some scaring in her brain." Nikita answers. Michael and Sean glance in her direction, finding her standing by the door. "I don't know if it's permanent or not." Nikita frowns. "But Owen had the same surgical marks and well..."

"Hey." Michael stands up and greets her. He places a gentle hand on her arm, trying to reassure her. Nikita took a deep breath and hands him a copy of Alex's x-ray.

"How is she?" Nikita asks, walking up to Sean. She looks over his shoulder, gazing at Alex with a worried expression.

Sean glances at Alex and sighs. "I've been talking to her every day since she almost flatlined again on the operating table... gosh that girl really knows how to give me a heart attack." He laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

"She's a fighter though, what I say?" Nikita smirks.

"Yeah." Sean agrees. He looks toward Michael, catching his eye. "Thanks by the way," Sean tells him, "If it wasn't for you..."

"You helped too." Michael walks over to him.

"You guys make a great team." Nikita comments. She glances at Alex, smiling. "She's lucky to have both of you."

"She's lucky to have you too, Nikita." Sean retorts. "You're like her fairy godmother or something." He smirks.

Nikita laughs. "Princess references will never get old with her."

There was a moment of silence, watching Alex. Everyone in the room could feel her presence as if she was trying to communicate with them and then suddenly, she began to move her fingers. The weight of her father's watch dangling against her skin as her hand reached out, desperately trying to grab a hold of something.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this extra long chapter! Special thanks to Wootar16 for suggesting the watch idea for that flashback scene! If you guys have any ideas, I'd love to hear them :)

Anyway, make my day even better and leave me a review. Let me know if you guys are happy Alex is almost herself again :)