Home for a rest

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: Some of you speculated about that bite. Now you get your answer.

When Edward had asked if he could drive home to Forks with her, she had turned to him with an exasperated head shake. "And," she said, "By drive with me, you mean you want to drive, right?"

"Only if you want me to," he answered.

She was surprised when he honoured this, only suggesting, after watching her start to yawn late in the drive, adhered to the speed limit, speculating this had more to do with prolonging their time together than pleasing her.

"Think you can handle the last bit yourself?" he asked playfully, parking a few blocks from her place.

"Chickening out about seeing Charlie?" she asked, just as playfully, but with an edge to her voice.

"Not at all," he said, "but I don't think he'd appreciate seeing me, and I have no desire to torment him with my presence."

Bella thought about this for a moment, and nodded, agreeing.

"Esme was wondering if you'd come for dinner, while you're here," he said softly, "they've all missed you, would like to see you," he added.

This was still a sore point for Bella. They had all left. Not just Edward, and their betrayal still needled.

Seeing the grim set of her mouth, he added, "but only if you want." He opened the car door, and she almost grabbed his hand, stopping herself, her fingers hovering over the console.

"That would be very nice," she said, taking a deep breath in, "when?"

"Saturday night? Before we head back?"

"Sure," she nodded. "I'll see you all then."

"You can see me anytime you want, Bella," Edward said softly, smiling, and then he was gone, the door clicking shut.

Charlie had been happily relieved to see her, his hug long and enthusiastic.

The house had been a surprise. It was...different. Sue had made some quiet, but well thought out changes with Charlie, and Bella was pleased to find that the ancient, and barely functioning stove had finally been replaced, and a few walls repainted.

Charlie looked happier too, and the fridge had real food in it—which she was shocked to discover, he had actually prepared himself.

"Man," she said quietly, "looks like i need to find something else to do to be useful around here."

He laughed, and shook his head, "no, just good to have you home," hugging her again.

When she told him that she was going to see Jacob the next day, he'd taken a deep breath in, and nodded.

"Dad," she said, seeing it, "does that really bother you? I mean, do you really think Jacob is trouble? Or," and here she paused, waiting for him to swallow his food, "would you prefer that I had Edward in my life?"

His grip on his fork became suddenly tighter.

"And the third option is?" he asked, then shook his head. "Really, Bella, does it come down to between those two? You haven't met anyone else?"

"Oh, sure, there's the guy that spiked my drink. He was a keeper, but he's gone missing," she said drily. "Seriously, can you not just keep an open mind about Jacob and Edward?"

He gave up on eating at this point, resting his hands on his lap. "Really? We're discussing the merits of the men who broke your heart after abandoning you, and the one who left you bitten and bruised? Do you even have a sense of self-worth?"

They were both angry by now, and neither had much of an appetite remaining.

Shoving away from the table, Bella said, "I'm going out, I'll see you later Dad," and left, hearing him call her name, but not caring to answer.

It was a short drive to the rez, when you were steaming mad.

She hoped it wasn't too late for a visit, on a school night, but Billy's warm greeting reassured her, and Jacob's hug almost crushed her.

"Can we…" she started, "go for a walk on the beach, or something?" she asked, once the hubbub of her arrival had died down.

"Yeah," Jacob said, "let me grab an extra jacket though."

"What, you get cold these days?" Bella asked, surprised.

"No," Jacob scoffed, "it's for you. It's February Bella, gets kinda chilly down there at night. With the wind. Remember?"

She did, and recalled, quite suddenly, and vividly, the crushing chill of the water last March.

"So," he said, "how was your Mom?" carefully avoiding asking how Edward was. He'd heard, via Billy and Charlie, who she went with.

They talked at length of the trip, and school, and when she began to shiver, even with the extra jacket, he put his arm around her. He avoided mention of the smell in her hair, but wondered at the deeper scents, that left him partially aroused. She still smelled...like him, he realized.

"How's your shoulder?" he asked suddenly.

"Fine," she said, looking at him, surprised by the turn of conversation. "Why?"

He shrugged, looking awkward, and she misinterpreted it as guilt. "It's fine Jake. Oh God, did my Dad—"

"No," he said, "it's just, well, you smell different."

She blushed, thinking he meant of Edward.

They walked on, reaching their favourite spot. The ancient log gave shade in summer, and a wall against the wind in winter. They leaned against it, their backs to the water, watching the last traces of the moon illuminate the shift of the trees. He wrapped his arms around her, keeping her back to his chest, trying to give her the benefit of his body heat.

The strange and inverted parallel of her trip to the beach with Edward a few days before was not lost on her. She would have laughed, if she didn't feel Jacob, so clear in his bodily desire, behind her.

"You know," Jacob said, almost hearing her thoughts, his words whispered to her ear, "I learned a new term last month."

"Oh yeah," she said, feeling his breath hot there, half her brain immobilized by the sensation of his lips so close to her neck.

"Apparently," he said, still letting his lips rest there, still purportedly just keeping her warm, "there's a term for friends, that occasionally, you know, you sleep with. No, no, no—" he said, feeling her start to pull away. "I'm not suggesting that at all, just sayin', it's called having 'friends with benefits'."

Bella laughed, the spell of his touch broken.

Jacob continued on. "I just wanted to make sure you knew I'm totally OK with being your friend," he paused, clearing his throat, "with benefits—if you want." Then he laughed.

She extracted herself successfully, their laughter fading, and the familiar guilt taking hold inside again.

"You are my friend Jacob, so maybe I should head home," she said softly. "Actually," and she swallowed, "I had a big argument with Charlie, before I left. He'll worry if I'm not back soon, and he's got work tomorrow."

"Hey," he said, catching her hand. "I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable. I know where we stand, Bella." He waited, watching her, then smiled, "but it's nice to see you laugh—even if only at my completely inappropriate sense of humour."

She nodded, smiling, but the feeling teetered on the unsure edge of friendship—and more. "Come on," she said, attempting levity, "keep me from breaking an arm of something on the way back."

"Sure," he said, happy for an excuse to hold her hand.

Charlie was overwrought with apologies when she came back, and she offered her own too.

"I don't want to fight about this dad, but yes, both these people are in my life. I'm just not sure if Edward will be more than a friend. Not yet, anyway." She looked at him, holding his gaze, as he grimaced through these words. Finally, he nodded, acknowledging the state of affairs, not happy, but resolved to honour her wishes.

Edward had texted, to remind her of dinner. Charlie had raised his eyebrows at this. When the invite expanded to include him, he'd growled a terse, "no thank you." That he managed to say "hello" to Edward, was a near miracle. He didn't ask when they'd be back, but raised his eyebrows when she didn't take her keys. He did say, "no drinking and driving," with greater force than Bella thought was necessary. Edward's murmured "of course not," mollified him some.

Esme's hug was not a surprise, and Bella's hard feelings melted a bit at it, but Emmett's death grip and laugh dislodged them even further.

"Oh man, you have no idea how glad I am to see you again. Do you have any idea how miserable Edward was when you weren't around?" he said.

"Thanks Emmett," she smiled, nervously looking at Rosalie, who smiled politely, and gave a soft "hello."

In charge of dinner, Esme tugged everyone except Carlisle away, surprising Bella, and not pleasantly.

"Can I talk with you, privately, Bella?" he asked, gesturing towards his office.

She furrowed her brow, wondering what he could want to speak with her about.

When they sat down together, he didn't keep her waiting. "I wanted to apologise Bella, from all of us, for leaving you, when we did."

This was definitely not what she expected.

"Oh," she said, caught off guard.

"Edward insisted," he said, "that you would be safer, and after what happened with James, and with Jasper," he added, "we really thought it would be best. Clearly, we were very wrong." He looked at her, concern, "and I know that this apology doesn't begin to heal the hurts we left you with, and that happened when we were gone."

She nodded, listening.

"I want you to know, that if there's anything we can do, to address this wrong, we will do it happily. And we hope you'll tell us if there is something."

She had no idea what she could possibly ask of them, that would begin to address that harrowing year. She shook her head, suddenly emotional, not wanting to cry in front of him.

"I don't expect you to say anything now, Bella. And I'm sorry to spring this on you. But it needed to be said. It's from all of us. I know Edward has made his own apologies."

Nodding, she breathed in heavily.

"Edward's here," he said softly, lifting his chin to the closed door, "but perhaps you'd prefer a moment alone?" he asked.

"Alone," she mouthed, not wanting to hold her defenses up amongst the many emotions she was feeling.

"Alright," Carlisle said, standing. "Come join us when you're ready."

She sat, feeling ambushed emotionally, processing the wave of feeling that simply being in their house dredged up, let alone the apology. The acknowledgement that they were wrong.

It was validating, to say the least. To know they saw what they'd done had ultimately been harmful. But it didn't heal the broken trust that still hovered between her and Edward.

And that was it, really. She couldn't trust him. Not yet. Not with her heart.

Deciding she'd lingered long enough, she walked to the door, half expecting to see Edward lurking there, but found him instead, at the piano, his fingers playing lightly over the keys.

"New song?" she asked, not having heard him play since...before, she realized.

"Haven't played much," he said, his own body softening as she sat beside him.

"Dinner's ready," Esme called, and they went to the table, Bella feeling strange, the sole eater there. The conversations bubbled around her though, and she found herself slipping into a sense of comfort, Emmett's jokes, and Alice's quipped replies making her feel at home.

She had been surprised when Edward had offered her a glass of wine. "That's not legal, you know," she said, an eyebrow crooked playfully. He shrugged.

"It's a nice one, though," he said, "and Esme picked it, thinking you might like it," he smiled. "But we have lots of other things to drink too," he added.

She shook her head smiling, "A small glass, thank you"

That small glass went straight to her head, an unaccustomed drinker, and Edward watched the subtle flush become more overt on her face. It only made her more beautiful to him.

They chatted together, lost in their own conversation, and it was with some surprise, she looked up, laughing at a joke he'd made, to see that they were alone.

"Ok," she said, "I know I didn't drink that much. Where is everyone?"

"They thought they'd give us some time alone," he said softly. "Though, I think it was more for my benefit than yours," he said, closing his eyes, and smiling, "it's nice to just hear your voice," he said. "They're all a little...loud...with excitement, to have you back."

Bella blushed even more, flattered, and uneasy too.

"They do know we're not—" she stopped, uncomfortable with the nebulous state of their relationship.

"They do," he said. "You were missed for your own sake, Bella."

Nodding, she looked around. "Where's the chess board?" she asked, wanting a break from the seriousness, but curious too to see if she'd maintained her skill.

"Up in my room." He said. "Should we play here, or there?" he asked.

Looking at the sky, she knew he'd have a beautiful view from upstairs, and it was a rare, moonless night. The stars would be bright. "There," she said, and stood, a little wobbly from the wine, following him.

She wasn't sure she was in the right room, when they stopped. "Wait, why—?" looking at the newest addition, a bed.

"I wanted a place for you, in case you wanted to spend the night," he said. Seeing the look on her face, at the four poster king-sized bed, "Too much?" he asked.

"Yes," she laughed. "I think an air mattress would have sufficed," and shook her head. "Vampires," she grumbled playfully.

He pretended to pout in response, which made her laugh even more.

"That, or this is all part of your master plan to seduce me," she said, melodramatically. "Invites woman over for dinner with his family, who emotionally wrap her around their fingers with apologies, plies her with wine," and she shook her head dramatically, "and then lures her to his room with offers of chess. Mmm-hmm," she said. "Totally above board."

"You think," he asked, "that I bought a bed, to seduce you with?" He smiled, watching her, as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

"Considering that I wasn't planning on spending the night, it certainly does look that way," she said, eyebrow arched, running a finger lightly over the cover.

Edward remembered exactly what it felt like when she did that over him, and was suddenly caught, completely unexpectedly, by a wave of visceral jealousy for what Jacob Black had had with her. It was with a stab of doubt that he closed the gap between them physically.

"Bella," he said, walking towards her, and sliding his hands around her low back, feeling her soften at his touch, "if I wanted to seduce you, you wouldn't stand a chance at saying no. So," he said, watching her breathing come faster, "it's a good thing, I suppose," breathing the words over her neck, and lifting and laying her on the bed where he suspended himself over her, "that I have no plans to do so." Now whispering his words to the tender spot behind her ear, and her cheek, hovering over her lips, "if you kiss me, it will be because you want it, not me." Her breath was ragged now, and she closed her eyes, the brush of his body over her demonstrating just how mutual their feeling was.

It was like breathing, to bring her hands to his head, to bring their lips together and feel him reciprocate. The kiss grew, expanding into an embrace that found his lips at her neck, and her hands reacquainting themselves with the softness of his hair.

And, it was just as suddenly that she tried to push him away, surprised by her anger, and her tears.

He was stunned by the shift, and didn't move immediately, eliciting an angry "stop!" from Bella.

Moving carefully, he rolled off of her, standing, watching her do so far less gracefully, uncertain of her balance.

She stumbled out of the room, and down the stairs, getting her coat, and grabbing his car keys, still in tears.

"Bella, wait," he said, appearing suddenly in front of her. "I'll drive you, or someone else can, but no—please. You've been drinking."

When she didn't return the keys, he blocked the doorway. "Bella, I'm sorry, it was stupid of me, please, just wait."

"No," she choked out, throwing the keys at him angrily, "it was stupid of me! Stupid to come here, stupid to think you would respect me—and even more stupid to think I could respect myself around you!" This was finished with a frustrated roar on her part, as she walked out the door, catching herself as she tripped, and continuing on.

He stood watching, wondering how long it would be before she calmed down enough to accept a ride from someone. It was full dark, and he groaned to himself, thinking of the many ways she could get hurt just walking without a light, let alone at his own stupidity for letting his baser emotions rule him.

He followed her at enough of a distance to let herself think she was alone, but close enough that he could reach her if anything malignant lingered nearby.

After twenty minutes, she'd slowed her pace, and had pulled out her phone.

He was stunned by who she called, but supposed he shouldn't be.

"Jake?" she said, her voice shaky, "can you come get me? Please?" When she explained where she was, he could hear the glee on the other end of the line. "No problem!"

Edward waited as she did, still far enough away that she wouldn't know he was there. He could hear Jacob's possessive thoughts long before he could see, or smell him, and he grimaced at the tone of them. The anger towards the Cullens was so thick as to be palpable.

If Bella had any idea of the ill feeling Jacob harboured towards them, she hadn't said anything to Edward.

"Hey," her heard him call to her, getting out of the car. "What happened?" and he opened his arms to her. It made Edward cringe to see it, even more so when she returned the hug.

The wind shifted at this point, and Jacob looked up, his thoughts angrier and more hostile as Edward's scent reached him. "Eavesdropping is rude, even for a mind-reading blooksucker," he called out. Edward appeared from the shadows.

The possessive thoughts intensified, as did the stricture of his arm around Bella.

Calmed enough now to sense the tension between them, she shrugged out from under Jacob's arm, and said, "thank you for coming. Let's go."

Edward couldn't let her leave though, not without properly apologizing first. "Bella," he called, seeing her stop, and look at him. "I respect you deeply, and I am sorry for the mistake I made tonight. I hope you'll forgive me," he said.

"It wasn't just your mistake, Edward," she said quietly.

Jacob snorted loudly at this, muttering, "doubt it."

"Stay out of it, Jacob," came Edward's stern rebuke, and he moved closer to Bella, to let their conversation be their own.

"You know how I feel about you, Bella. Whatever you need—time, space, a wolf," he added, "I want you to be happy," he whispered to her.

It was the tone of Jacob's thoughts, already unpredictable, adolescent and volatile, shifting into a clearly angry and possessive repetition that startled him, and he pulled Bella away, seeing Jacob move towards them quickly. "Don't!" he warned, putting himself between Jacob and Bella, and more forcefully, "Get yourself under control first!"

Jacob answered by exploding, and there was a whirling ball of clothing and fur where Jacob and Edward had once stood.

Their fight was brief, punctuated by Bella's terrified shrieks at them to stop. It was only when she physically tried to move between them that they broke apart, both shaking from their rage, worry, and finally, relief, at seeing her physically unharmed.

Jacob moved himself, still a wolf, to cover Bella, snarling at Edward, who replied sarcastically, "yes, I can tell she's most comforted by that."

Jacob turned his head to look at her. She was shaking, and trembling, terrified, backing away slowly from him.

Edward laughed incredulously, the sound black in the night. "I'd check with her about that too."

Bella had recovered enough to wonder at this. "Edward, what are you talking about?"

A low growl erupted from Jacob, directed clearly at Edward.

"Well," he said back, "you should have told her yourself then, shouldn't you?" Keeping his eyes squarely on Jacob, he directed his voice, now softened, to Bella, "he sees you as his mate, Bella. That's why he...marked you." The word was levelled with distaste.

She put her hand to her shoulder, her mouth a horrified 'O.'

Edward's voice was harsh, and his face coloured by disgust as he spoke to Jacob again. "And you think I don't respect her? Don't, please, for her sake," shaking his head, as if to dislodge something from it.

"Jacob," she said, shaky and uncertain, "please stop, whatever it is you're doing." She was on the verge of tears again. "I would just like to go home."

The please recalled them both to themselves.

"He's going to change," Edward said softly to her, and then to Jacob more tersely, "I'll leave if she asks me to." Turning back, he asked her, "do you want me to go?"

What Bella wanted, was to dissolve into a puddle of nothingness, but shook her head instead, her hand up to keep him away when he tried to move towards her. She was shaking from the shock of seeing them fight, and understanding why they'd done so. She felt physically ill.

When Jacob returned a moment later, Bella wiped her eyes and walked to his car, still running, and got in. Jacob followed, his dark thoughts pointed at Edward, who looked on in silence.

At home, Charlie raised his eyebrows, seeing who had brought Bella back, and blew out a breath, not sure what to ask. He settled on giving Bella a hug, figuring that it would cover any number of possible situations. She shook her head when he asked if she wanted to talk about it.

The anger she'd felt at Edward, and that she was now harbouring towards Jacob had coalesced into a hard ball that sat in her stomach, and she wondered if it was even possible to have anything approximating a normal relationship with either of them.