Too Young To Save Them
Chapter 25: Hell On The Surface
Robins POV
A/N: Hey guys, I'm writing this chapter at 9:46 and I'm going to warn you now that this chapter has a ton of grief and teenage angst.
I sat in silence along with the rest of the team as Cyborg drove us home, it would be three hours until we got home though. No one dared to say a word as we grieved in bitter silence over are lost friend, whos corpse now laid in Ravens lap as she brushed the hair out of her frozen face. They had been close, closer then any of the rest of the team had been with Starfire, even me. I shivered as I leaned into Red X's chest, I should be happy, Scarface is dead, I was finally free. Except I wasn't. We had lost a soldier in that fight, and a damn good one at that, but it didn't change the fact that none of the team would ever fully recover from the shock and fear of losing her, she was too innocent.
Too young.
Just like me.
God, it hurt like hell to know that I could have stopped this all from happening, but I didn't, I got distracted by the love and kindness of my teamates after I returned to them. I let my emotions take over. But its okay, I don't want to be Batman. Its what everyone expects me to be, a strong and emotionless man machine that can go through hell and back. But what can I tiny little birdy do when hes unprepared and hell reachs the surface and beats them with its expectatins to be someone I'm not. What can I do? I don't care. I don't want to be that person anymore, I'd much rather be able to show what I'm feeling then have everyone around me suffer because they don't know if I love them or not. I don't want to see anyone grow up the way I did, with a friend/co-worker/father never trully being there for you unless you were having a break down or panic attack, its not fair to them. I stared out the window as I kept myself from having a break down in the car, I didn't want to get anyone hurt. After about ten more minutes of silence, a very unlikely person broke it.
"Okay, what the fuck are we all doing being silent and staring at Starfires dead body!?" Raven suddenly shouted, scaring everyone in the car as we ether shivered or had to put a hand over are mouths to muffle are own cry's.
Red X half thanked Raven with a look for breaking the silence as he stretched out a bit. "So." He said. "Do any of you guys got a story for how Starfires ID would die so suddenly like this?"
I immediately spoke up before Beast Boy could come up with something stupid. "How about this idea; Best Friend Robin Failed To Save Her, So Shes Dead And Its All His Fault?" I asked in an official voice.
"It is NOT all your fault, birdy. I was the one fighting Scarface, I should have kept her away from him myself." Red X explained as he threw an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.
"Yes it is." I said as I pulled away somewhat. "A few days ago, when I was still on the outs with you guys, I had a nightmare that showed that battle, except I saw red X die instead." I explained as I tugged my knees to my chest. "I told S-Starfire about it because I was so scared that I'd lose Red X, she told me to tell Raven, but I didn't because I didn't feel comfortable telling anybody else. I'm sorry. Its like I was the one to kill her." I felt tears on my face as I unwound and crawled onto Red X's lap for some love, I peered over and almost cheered as I saw Raven do the same on Beast Boy's lap, I fucking KNEW they'd hook up eventually.
"It wasn't your fault, birdy. It never was, she sacrificed herself to let us live on in hopes that we would form a healthy relationship. Its okay now, I won't let her down." Red X whispered as he brushed my hair a bit with his fingers, that seemed to calm me down due to the fact that I feel asleep in seconds.
I awoke the next morning to the sound of someone cooking breakfast, I tried to stand automatically, but my legs gave out as guilt filled my head. A voice insisted that this was my fault, that the cheery humming is gone because I smothered it and ruined are family. I shushed it as I dragged myself onto my bed, in that instant, Red X came in with a cup of coffee in one hand, and some green tea in the other.
"Raven refused to leave her bed right now, so I figured that you'd be the same after last night. Brought you a drink to help calm your senses." He placed the cup on my night stand as he gulped down his coffee, I still couldn't believe how his hair was orange when not wearing the mask.
"Something you see, birdy?" Red X asked as he stretched out a bit in front of me.
I pondered my answer as I sat up a bit. "Your hair, its orange, before you revealed your identity to me I thought you had black hair or dyed hair." He looked at himself in my hand mirror (There is nothing gay about carrying a mirror in your purse, er, man bag) his eyes widened to saucers as he examined my point.
"Think I should dye it black?" He asked as I fumbled in standing up as I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Naw, I like it orange, its cute." I said as I kissed his cheeck gently. "I can't be the only one called cute in this relationship you know."He shrugged as we kissed for a few minutes, enjoying the silence of the house hold as we seemed to forget are worry's and relax in the peacefulness of life.
It helps one forget about the fact that hell was about to break out on the surface.
A/N: BUM BUM BUM! Yeah, that's what my English teacher calls 'Foreshadowing' my friends! Its when an author hints at a later event within the story, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. I hope you enjoyed the fluff and angst of this chapter because there will be more of this. Also, before anyone asks, Red X is eighteen and Robin is fourteen now. So no, they are not having sex off screen, Red X isn't doing that because he feels its wrong to do that to Robin after what hes been through (See!? I even added some fluff into my stupid authors note). Any ways, please R&R!
~Supercasey.