The Heartbeat
Chapter 25
"Two Men – One Heart"
Merlin woke up a couple of hours later to the warmth surrounding him all around. At first he wasn't sure what was the source of this warmth but then the realisation hit him. He opened his eyes and glanced at Arthur's sleeping form by his side. The king looked divine in the first rays of dawn. This sight made Merlin's heart beat faster in his chest.
"Come back to sleep. It's early," murmured Arthur as he opened one eye.
Merlin smiled at him and said, "For a moment I thought it all was just a dream."
At these words Arthur opened another eye and looked at him intently. "It's not a dream," he assured him and pulled Merlin into a short kiss. "Do you believe me now?" he asked.
Merlin smirked teasingly at him. "I'm not sure yet," he said and Arthur kissed him again just to prove his point.
After a while they were both lying on their sides, breathing heavily just from their kissing.
"So we're immortal..." said Arthur out of the blue.
"It appears so," murmured Merlin. He became a bit nervous because he wasn't sure what was the reason of this sudden remark.
"I'm still a bit disappointed that you didn't tell me right away," Arthur admitted, looking him in the eye.
"I know," said Merlin, waiting with anticipation for what Arthur was going to say next. "I understand."
"I told you this yesterday but I need to repeat myself because I want you to truly believe it," Arthur continued, not breaking the eye contact with him. "I'm glad that it's you, Merlin. From all the people I've met... From all the people in the world, I'm happy that I'll spend my immortal life with you."
"You won't get bored with me," Merlin teased, trying to ease the tension.
"Never," Arthur confirmed, smiling. "My words are sincere, Merlin," he added in a more serious tone.
"I know." Saying that, he lowered his gaze and took a deep breath to stay calm. "You have no idea how much these words mean to me."
Arthur pecked his nose in order to cheer him up. There was no need for more tension between them. In response Merlin moved closer to him and kissed him fully in the mouth.
They were kissing each other lazily for a few long minutes.
Then Arthur pulled away, looking at Merlin apologetically. "We should stop at this point," he said in a husky voice.
"We don't need to," Merlin assured him. "I want this and you want this. That's obvious. Why should we wait?"
Arthur shook his head. "It's still too soon," he said. "I can't do this after what I did last night."
"Please, Arthur, I don't want to come back to that moment again." Merlin looked at him pleadingly. "For me it was a nightmare, but I'm awake now and I want to move forward with my life. I never let myself truly believe that I could have you for myself one day. Don't postpone it any longer or if you decide to do this, don't do it for my sake."
Then something clearly changed in Arthur's face. Merlin recognised it as hesitation and it gave him hope.
"I want to make things right first," said Arthur but he didn't sound as decisive as before. "It is my duty to..."
Merlin wasn't going to listen to it any longer. He moved forward and put his lips on Arthur's, silencing him with a kiss. Arthur couldn't argue with such a strong argument, so he started kissing him back. Merlin thought that he would love to solve all their issues in this way. His heart fluttered at the thought that he could certainly try to do it in the future.
Then Merlin pulled away, and looking into Arthur's eyes, he began to undress him, starting with his shirt.
Arthur was mesmerised by his boldness.
"Never before I've seen you so eager to do a servant's job," murmured Arthur teasingly.
"Because I was never really allowed to look, touch or... taste." Then he leaned down and kissed Arthur's nipple, making it harden under his tongue instantly.
Arthur groaned loudly at this bold action. He had to hide his pride because there was no way he was going to act kingly with Merlin doing such things to him.
"That's cheating," murmured Arthur when Merlin finally let go. Then he grabbed him and pulled his shirt off with one swift move. "That's better," he said, smiling smugly.
Finally they were both equally shirtless. Arthur knew that they reached the point with no return, and that his reasoning that they should wait with intimacy wasn't going to work. He couldn't deny himself Merlin any longer, so the only thing that was left to do was to follow the desire completely.
"We're mad," he muttered but pulled Merlin into a heated kiss anyway. "You have no idea how intoxicating you are."
Merlin blushed at these words. It was very clear before that Arthur wanted him too, but this was different. Arthur was whispering filthy endearments into his ear, increasing Merlin's desires to a completely new level.
Arthur was clinging to him, kissing and touching him in a maddening way. All his fantasies were nothing in comparison to what he felt at this moment. Here, in Arthur's arms, he felt truly whole. And they didn't even get completely naked yet.
"You're driving me mad," said Merlin between their kisses.
"That was my intention," Arthur teased him. "May I?" he asked, grabbing the belt of Merlin's trousers.
Merlin's heart started beating frantically. Arthur's new intention was very clear.
"You don't need to ask," said Merlin, looking into his eyes.
That was the only encouragement he needed. Arthur unbuttoned the belt, loosening his trousers and slowly pulling them down. Then he helped Merlin get out of them completely, leaving him only in his underwear.
After that, Arthur started looking over his pale, silky skin, mesmerised.
"What's wrong?" asked Merlin shyly.
"Nothing," said Arthur biting his lip, which made Merlin blush madly. "Everything is perfect. You're perfect."
The blush on Merlin's cheeks deepened. "I'm not," he denied, lowering his gaze. "Stop saying these things. They make me feel uncomfortable."
"I mean them." Saying that, Arthur pushed Merlin's chin up to meet his eyes. "You are perfect for me." Then he kissed him tenderly to avoid any further arguments.
When they pulled apart, Merlin looked at him lovingly. "It's your turn," he said, unfastening Arthur's trousers.
"Eager," murmured Arthur and allowed him to pull his trousers off. "It's clear that you had years of experience in undressing me. You did it faster than me."
"Next time I can do it even faster. With magic," he promised, this time making Arthur blush lightly.
Then Merlin realised what he just said. "I mean... if there will be next time," he added hesitantly.
"And what do you think, Merlin? Immortality sounds quite long. I believe we'll find time to do it again," Arthur joked, trying to turn Merlin's attention from the blush on his cheeks.
These words made Merlin smile widely.
"I hoped so," murmured Merlin and touched Arthur's skin with affection written all over his face. "I can't believe it's real... Are you sure it's real?"
Arthur caressed his cheek, making his eyelids flutter. "Very much real," he said and kissed him tenderly.
Their bodies clung to each other so only the thin fabric of their underwear was separating them at the moment. Merlin could feel everything and this realisation was intoxicating. Not longer than an hour ago he was alone, devastated by Arthur's words and his tryst with a prostitute. He had never been much hopeful about Arthur's reaction concerning his lies but he wasn't ready for what Arthur did with this woman. Not so soon.
The prospect of being separated from Arthur was killing him from the inside. The moment when he saw the man he loved with this prostitute was one of the darkest hours of his life, and it seemed that only the time when Arthur was dying had a more devastating impact on him.
Now everything was completely changed. He was forgiven, and most of all, he felt truly loved. He couldn't imagine a better outcome than this.
"Breathe, Merlin," Arthur whispered into his ear. "Calm down... I can feel how fast your heart is beating."
"Easier said than done," murmured Merlin. He had no power over his emotions. He was truly happy for the first time in years and he wasn't able to keep his excitement at bay. Definitely not with Arthur's almost naked body pressed against his own.
"Perhaps I could help," said Arthur, caressing his sides.
"I think you will have to ravish me," Merlin suggested and kissed his neck. "Don't keep me waiting." He knew that his words were bold, and he was certain that he wouldn't dare to say them out loud if he was in his right mind.
Arthur didn't seem to be bothered by his language at all. His initial attempts to postpone their intimate encounter were long forgotten. He wanted to make Merlin wholly his. Not only physically but most of all emotionally. He wanted to have it all and Merlin was willing to give it to him.
Before Merlin could say something more to encourage him, Arthur grabbed his undergarments and pulled them down. Merlin gasped, surprised. He was aware that Arthur wanted this too but he didn't suppose he would be so quick. Usually, Arthur teased him, trying to drive him crazy first.
When Merlin was finally naked, Arthur pushed him lightly on the bed. Then he hovered above him, looking at his pale skin closely and touching it with reverence.
Merlin tensed, seeing how thoroughly Arthur was watching him. He was never shy about his body but he was realistic. There was nothing special about it. He was skinny and pale, with very few muscles. It all made him feel uncertain.
"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, noticing the sudden tension in his face.
"My body is not my strong suit," he attempted to joke but failed miserably.
Arthur looked at him with sadness and disbelief. "Are you ashamed of it?"
"It pales in comparison to yours," he murmured.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of," Arthur assured him firmly. "I told you that you are perfect for me," he reminded him and squeezed his hip teasingly. His hand brushed slightly against Merlin's manhood, making him moan. "Do you believe me now?"
"I'm barely starting," murmured Merlin. "Get out of your underwear and come here," he said desperately. "I want you to prove it."
His words made Arthur laugh wholeheartedly. "As you wish," he said once he calmed down and got up to get rid of the rest of his clothes. He could feel Merlin's eyes watching his every move. It wasn't that Merlin never saw him naked. As his manservant, he saw him in various states of undress through all these years. Nonetheless, he was never allowed to really look. Now Arthur was standing right in front of him in all his glory, and Merlin could look at him boldly and without shame.
Before Merlin could say anything, Arthur was already upon him, kissing him senseless into the mattress. His hands were all over him and Merlin was not able to name all the parts of his body that Arthur's devastating touch was reaching. It was happening too quickly and he was too intoxicated to even think about it.
Merlin wrapped his hands around Arthur's shoulders to pull him closer. They were touching skin on skin but he needed to feel him more. He wanted to become part of Arthur so nothing could ever come in between them. After the years of longing and loving him from afar, Merlin was finally getting what his soul craved and needed. He needed Arthur in every aspect of his life and this one thing was always missing. Now all he had to do was reach it and become Arthur's for all eternity.
Arthur started moving slowly, making friction between their cocks. It was a simple movement but it was driving Merlin crazy. He thought that he wanted it all at once but he was no longer sure if he was ready for full intercourse. It seemed impossible that this simple friction could make him feel so good and complete. Anything more could be too much for their first time.
The strangest thing was that Arthur seemed to understand it without words. On the other hand, perhaps it wasn't strange at all. They were soulmates after all. They were true halves, just like their heart.
Arthur didn't try to initiate anything else. He was simply moving his body against Merlin's, kissing and touching him desperately. Merlin was giving him the same in return. His head was dizzy with emotion and pleasure, and at the moment he thought that he would be content if the rest of his life consisted of moments like this.
Suddenly, Arthur grabbed their cocks in his hand and started stroking them lazily. He looked at Merlin and his eyes seemed to ask the question: Is that all right?. Obviously, there was no need for an answer. It was well written on Merlin's face.
At first, the devastating touch of Arthur's fingers from one side and the sweet friction of his cock from the other side seemed too much. Merlin thought he would explode into tiny pieces in mere moments. Arthur, however, understood the feeling very well so he was slow in his strokes, not wanting to end their intimate moment too soon.
"I love you," murmured Arthur into Merlin's ear, making his heart beat frantically. "Always and forever." These words were a promise that Merlin had been longing to hear for a very long time.
"For longer than forever," Merlin whispered back. "My soul knew it loved you long before I laid my eyes on you for the first time. I just needed years to realise it."
Arthur smiled at these words. He felt exactly the same. The realisation took him over a decade but he was certain now. Merlin was the one meant for him. It didn't matter that the love between two men was frowned upon to say the least. Arthur was aware that as a king he was allowed to do more in this aspect than the others. His subjects weren't as lucky, and even though he would never punish anybody for having affairs with someone of the same sex, there were people in this kingdom who could try to lynch so-called sodomites on their own.
However, it wasn't the right time for such considerations. He would have to come back to them later, surely more than once during his long life he was going to have with Merlin. No one knew what their future would bring. At this moment, he wanted to fully focus on Merlin. It was their time and they should celebrate it. Arthur could sense how both his body and soul craved Merlin. It was the feeling that he couldn't describe with words. He had never felt this way before. It seemed as if the universe was giving them its blessing, as if everything was finally in its right place. By the look Merlin was giving him this moment, he must have felt it too.
"Merlin..." Arthur whispered, not really knowing what he wanted to say. It just felt right to say his name out loud. It was like a prayer that Arthur didn't know how to say before. Now he finally knew.
"Arthur..." Merlin whispered his name back in the same manner.
They were looking at each other, smiling. Nothing else in this world mattered to them at this moment. Even if the kingdom were to fall, they wouldn't notice it.
Their hearts were beating in the same rhythm and they could barely breathe. Arthur's hand started moving faster between their bodies, and soon Merlin grabbed their cocks too, helping him. He did it half-consciously because he was looking into Arthur's eyes and Arthur was looking back into his. Their souls found a connection through their eyes and none of them was willing to lose it even for the sake of a short kiss. It could last a whole eternity or only mere moments, they weren't sure because they completely lost the sense of time, but they were getting to the point of no return in their relationship. Merlin's eyes turned gold suddenly and his magic erupted around them. He had no control over it, but neither he nor Arthur was scared. His magic loved Arthur almost as much as Merlin did. It would never harm them in any way.
"Beautiful," murmured Arthur between their heavy breaths, making Merlin's smile wider.
They were close to climax, and even though they never wanted this to end, they couldn't stop it. The first to break their eye contact was Merlin. The pleasure overtook him and he involuntarily threw his head back, closing his eyes and groaning. He wasn't ready for such level of pleasure and emotions. He was coming, desperately clinging to Arthur. Something that seemed impossible a few hours ago, finally became true.
Arthur followed him almost instantly. There was nothing that could hold him back after he saw Merlin like this. He wanted to become a part of this feeling, and it overwhelmed him. All he could think about was Merlin and his warm, sweaty body that was lying beneath him. It was the greatest feeling in the world to be finally Merlin's. No one could take it away from him.
After a few minutes of hard breathing, he slid off Merlin. He knew that he was heavy, even though Merlin didn't voice any complaint. Nevertheless, he didn't move much further. He was still desperately clinging to Merlin, not wanting to leave him even for a moment.
Merlin finally opened his eyes, looking at his king with love and adoration. "Kiss me," he whispered softly.
Arthur instantly leaned closer and captured Merlin's lips with his own. Their kiss was sweet and loving and perfect. Soon they fell back to sleep, not even noticing what mess Merlin's magic made in his room.
Their souls had become one at last and it felt glorious.