Chapter 25

"Mer… Mer wake up we're here" Derek softly shook Meredith. She had finally fallen asleep after their big discussion while Derek couldn't sleep. There was too much to think about to sleep. When he decided not to think anymore, he flicked on the on-flight entertainment.

"Oh… okay" Meredith mumbled voice full of sleep.

They stepped off the plane hand in hand in utter silence not knowing what to say to each other. The luggage claim, taxi ride, and walk to the hotel they remained silent.

"Mer?" Derek finally broke the silence as they entered their hotel room.

"Yeah" Meredith answered rather monotonously sitting down on the bed.

"I don't know what to say. All I know is I love you and I'll do anything for you." Derek said exasperatedly. It seemed like they were on a downward spiral and he had to try and put it back on track. He loved Meredith that every time he was without her he longed to be with her, even if it was just for a second. He loved her so much that it ached to see her this way.

"Thanks Derek. I'll be okay really. I'm fine; I'm just tired is all. Planes aren't my thing…" She smiled weakly. She stood up and kissed his forehead gently. She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Derek held her small waist close to his body. He knew when she said she was fine, she really wasn't.

"I love you Derek" Meredith whispered tenderly. "Wait for me."

Wait for me to heal

"Of course" Derek stared into her eyes and saw the fear once again and knew he had to be strong.

"I just need some time." Meredith broke their trance and walked over to unpack.

"I was thinking we should head out and see some sights tomorrow" Meredith said trying to make the trip more than just about herself. They were there on holiday, she needed to try and just forget about everything for one minute and remember she was lucky she had an amazing man with her.

"That sounds wonderful Mer. I'll run you a bath." Derek knew she was repressing it again, but they were on holiday. When they got back, he would talk to Meredith into talking to Dr. Dustin about it. Derek walked over to their bathroom filled the big, white tub. He added some lavender oil into the bath, lavender calmed Meredith down, but it was more for himself. Lavender reminded Derek of the happy Meredith.

"Oh that looks fantastic Derek. Thank you." Meredith kissed him on the cheek and took off her clothes before sliding down into the warm water.

Derek took her lavender shampoo and poured some into his palm before rubbing it into her hair and massaging her scalp.

"Mmm, what did I do to deserve you?" Meredith smiled finally relaxing

"I think the real question is: what did I do to deserve you?" Derek replied grinning.

"Dr. Shepherd, flattery will…"

"Get me nowhere? I beg to differ; I think you want me right now." Derek interrupted now rubbing body wash down Meredith's back.

Meredith laughed.

"You're lucky I love you Dr. Shepherd."

A/N: Just a filler for tonight really (a little porny... lol). I just wanted to post something. I started on the next chapter and that will hopefully be up in the next few days. I also started a new fice and hopefully the first chapter of that will be up tonight... My other fic, I'm planning on writing another chapter too, in the next few days. I'm trying to make them happy MerDer again. I thought of a good dramatic scene to add in too. But it would be a bit too much if I chucked it in now. So I will have some happier MerDer stuff, then some drama later. It's hard also, I haven't lost a child. But Meredith (in my story) lost 2, and it's hard! So I'm not sure how she is going to heal. But she will- and if anyone has ideas, feel free too tell me!

That's all for now.

tayababy- I think you are a first time reader? Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate it! No NZ stuff here, but there is some in the next chapter :)

chaty1- Derek is just too hot to say no to :P So it's only natural that Meredith feels better with him! Love your reviews. They make my day!

Heather0120- hehe... I was typing your username thingy, and I wrote heater. Sorry I thought that was funny! Yay, I'm glad you thought it was sad. I mean I don't like sad Meredith. But I'm glad that it showed emotion... if you get where I'm coming from... Thanks for reviewing :)

natzbadfairy- I love a good MerDer fic. Unfortunately I don't class mine as good, just a way to occupy my time :P Thanks for the review. :P

kml57- I don't think this chapter is as sad... and the next definately is not as sad! Thanks for reviewing.

Cheers guys! Flick me a review and happy reading :)