Stella tried to calm her nerves. So two of her three brothers had just seen her naked, no big deal, she rationalized. They had grown up together and due to the number of injuries she had sustained over the years they had seen her in various states of undress numerous times.
She pulled a shirt over her head, hissing as she moved her incredibly sore muscles. She tried to ignore the soreness that seemed to be emanating from every inch of her bruised and battered body and attempted to focus on controlling her breathing.
It was being caught naked in bed with Raph by their brothers that made the entire situation volatile, not to mention incredibly uncomfortable. This was not how she had imagined her family finding out about them, at all. She was just thankful that they hadn't actually been caught in the act because she was fairly certain, based on Leo's reaction, that there would have been a fight, a damn bloody one too.
Biting her lip, she pulled on her favorite pair of jeans before opening the door to the bedroom and stepping out into the hallway. It was quiet, too quiet and she couldn't stop the pit of dread which had settled in her stomach from growing. She felt woefully unprepared for the upcoming talk.
She found it odd that she felt far calmer about discussing her and Raphael's relationship with their father than she did about discussing it with their older brother, probably because she knew Leonardo could be far more pigheaded than their fairly open-minded father.
Squaring her shoulders, she rolled her head around on her neck to work out the kinks and strode purposefully into the living room where she found Leo and Raph on opposite sides of the room glaring daggers at one another while Mikey sat on the couch between the two still clutching at the knot on his forehead.
Rolling her eyes, she walked straight through the middle of the standoff into the small kitchen to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, well aware that three sets of eyes were watching her every movement.
"Here," she grunted tossing the ice pack to Mikey who caught it deftly with one hand before pressing it to his head with an audible sigh of relief. She leaned against the counter and regarded the three male turtles when the front door was thrown open with a bang and an exhausted looking Tina stomped into the room.
"What tha hell is goin' on up here?" Tina demanded, glowering angrily around the room. "Do any a ya have any idea what kinda day I, well we," she gestured between herself and Stella, "had yesta'day? I'm fuckin' tired as hell and I wake up ta screamin'! What tha fuck is wrong with you?"
"Tina," Leo ground out still refusing to take his eyes off of Raphael, "I'm sorry but he," he gestured to Raphael accusingly, "has just been caught in bed, naked, with my equally naked baby sister! My baby sister!"
Tina gave her husband a disgusted look and shook her head with a huff. "Really Leo? Didn't you tell me last night Stella had hypothermia and that Raphael was staying with her? Kinda makes sense that she wasn't dressed, it's one a tha ways ya treat hypothermia. Anyway aren't we all always kinda naked?" She pointed out.
"Thank you," Michelangelo grumped from his spot on the couch.
Leonardo finally took his eyes off of his red banded brother to gape openly at his wife. "I- well I-" he sputtered.
"You- you what?" She demanded.
"I thought, I mean, I guess I assumed," he looked slightly sheepish as he raised his hand to rub the back of his head.
"That they were fucking?" Tina asked.
"Well to put it crudely-"
Tina shrugged. "If Stella feels at all like I do, there is no way that'd even be a possibility." Leonardo visibly relaxed letting his shoulders fall. "I mean, don't get me wrong," Tina continued smirking evilly and waggling her eye ridges lecherously, "they're totally doing it, but not last night."
The effect was instantaneous. In the blink of an eye Leo's tension level elevated to Defcon One as he once again unsheathed his katanas. "They're what?" He demanded narrowing his blue eyes murderously as he zoned in on Raphael.
At the same time Raphael snapped his gaze toward Stella. "You told her?" He demanded in a strained and disbelieving voice as he instinctively drew his sais and took up a defensive position ready to intercept his brother's rage.
"I didn't tell anybody anything!" Stella defended as she grabbed the nearest weapon which happened to be a poker from the fireplace. "Only Mikey and you were there!" She pointed out as she too sunk into a defensive position ready to intercept Leonardo if need be.
"It's true?" Tina gasped as she surveyed the room's occupants. "I was just fuckin' with ya. Oh this shit is bananas!" She laughed before cringing and clutching at her side. "Stella, I'm fuckin' glad you decided ta come home girl, this is- holy crap. This is way better than watchin' Maury."
"Stella," Leo ground out between clenched teeth, "is this true? Are you and Raphael having," he squeezed his eyes shut as though he were in actual physical pain, "relations?"
"I- uh, um," she stuttered as she watched with morbid fascination as a large vein in her older brother's forehead began to throb. "I-we," she cleared her throat, "what I mean to say is-"
"I'm in fuckin' love with her, a'ight Fearless," Raphael shouted dropping his arms to his sides and relaxing his grip on his sais. "I've loved her my entire goddamn life but I was too stupid to admit I was actually in love with her until she was long gone. So yeah we've been havin' 'relations' so fuckin' what? I love her and she loves me an' I don' give a flyin' fuck how you feel about it. So what's it to ya?"
"What's it to me? What's it to me?" Leo shouted gripping the handles of his katanas so tightly his knuckles had begun to turn white. "She's our sister! You are having sex, with our sister!"
"You know in an effort to promote equality I feel I should point out that Stella here is also having sex with your brother," Tina added from where she was currently leaning casually against the doorframe, obviously getting a kick out of the entire situation.
"Uh to be fair dude and uh dudette," Michelangelo interjected, "you do know Raph and Stel aren't actually related, don't you?" he added from underneath his icepack while he watched the tense standoff with wide blue eyes.
"I don't care," Leo spat. "She," he gestured toward Stella with his sword, "was raised as our sister, blood relation or not, it's just wrong for one of us to," he shivered, "it's just not acceptable."
"You married Tina," Stella pointed out while she continued to hold onto her poker. "She's Raphael, in female form. How is that okay but Raph and I being together isn't?"
Leonardo glared at her. "For your information, since you weren't there," he added making Stella cringe at his accusing tone that reminded her she had not been forgiven for her extended hiatus, "Donatello ran through all of our genetics, and it just so turned out that none of us are actually blood related. Because of that Tina is no more related to me than you are to April and she was never raised as my sister. It would only be weird if I had married Hera instead of Tina. Also- also, sex before marriage." He threw in as an afterthought as though it would help win his disjointed argument.
"I feel like you're missin' the plot here," Stella commented dryly while staring down her blue banded brother and watching him begin to crack under the pressure as his set sense of what was right and wrong waged war with actual facts. "I'm aware that nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong but Leo, you're wrong."
"No I'm not!" Leo defended sounding like he was swiftly approaching hysteria. "Tina wasn't raised as my sister, you were. It's just- it's just different!"
"You know what Leo?" Raphael said. "Honestly, we don't give a flying fuck what you think at this point." He glanced toward Stella who nodded her head in silent agreement.
"I'm sorry ya had ta find out like this, we planned on tellin' everyone after talkin' to Splinta but right now you're just being a fucking prick and I'm sick of your bullshit. I love Stel tha way you love Tina and I shouldn' have ta defend that. You an' Don an' Mike may think a her as your sista' but I've neva' thought a her like that, not really, so what's tha fuckin' problem? Don't we deserve ta find someone or is that only somethin' you an' Don get ta experience since you're tha 'good' ones?"
Leonardo's mouth hung open wordlessly as he stared wildly back and forth between his younger brother and sister. "I-I," he sputtered, dropping his katanas slightly.
"You wanna know what I think?" Tina interrupted.
"Not fuckin' particularly," Raphael muttered darkly.
Ignoring the red banded male, Tina continued. "I think ya'll are fuckin' crazy as shit." She turned to Leonardo who was looking completely lost. "Babe, it's not like they're commitin' incest or nothin' an' since they're both obviously inta one another so I say go fuckin' wild. Life's too goddamn short ta give a shit 'bout what everybody else thinks."
"I-I but I-" Leo continued to sputter as he stared wide eyed at his wife as though she had suddenly told him the moon really was made of green cheese.
"Am goin' ta go out an' bring me back somethin' for the throbbin' in my head?" She suggested with a tone of finality that let everyone know that it was not really a request but a demand. "Good idea babe." She stepped farther into the room and forcibly pried Leonardo's katanas from his hands. She shifted them around so that she could carry them one handed before reaching out and grabbing her husband's hand with her own and giving him a little tug she began leading her out of the apartment. "Keep it down up here would ya?" She said before dragging a reluctant Leo out the door. "My heads poundin' like a goddamn drum. An' call Donny, no doubt Fearless here lost his mind and put him on high alert."
"Uh right, thanks Tina," Stella replied as she watched the pair disappear out the door.
The entire living room was dead silent for a few moments before Stella dropped her poker to the floor, strode forward, grabbed a pillow and began beating Michelangelo mercilessly about the head with it. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She demanded in a hiss as he squealed while trying to simultaneously repel her attack and keep the ice pack pressed to his head. "Who just bursts into someone's bedroom unannounced like that? Are you three?"
"I blame you," Raphael piped up as he came to stand at the other end of the sofa, his arms crossed over his plastron while he watched the small brunette beat his youngest brother about the head with a pillow. "You're tha one who dropped tha rope he was danglin' from when we was nine and gave him that concussion. Guy hasn't been right in tha head eva' since, I've been sayin' it for years."
"Aaahhh," Michelangelo groaned as Stella continued to whack him about the head. "Look I'm sorry alright, there are some things you just can't unsee and the image of the two of you," he shuddered, "trust me, I'm really, really sorry I barged into your room without knocking. I can say with forty percent certainty that there is a sixty percent chance that will never happen again."
"Raphael glared at the younger turtle. "I'm not likin' them odds Mike."
Michelangelo shrugged and managed to snatch the pillow from Stella's hands. "It's all I've got, at least I'm bein' honest. You've gotta give me credit for that at least."
"I'll take it," Stella sighed. "Now get out before I decide to use you for fukiya practice."
"I'm gone with the wind sis," he cried as he jumped up from the sofa and dashed out the door.
"So that went-," Stella trailed off.
Raphael shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck with his unbandaged hand. "Eh, it coulda gone worse."
Stella nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah he coulda thrown one of his swords, that woulda been worse."
"Fuck 'em," Raph grunted. "He's just gonna have ta get used to it."
Stella sighed, "We really should call Donny before he storms in here too but maybe I should do the majority of the talking," she suggested.
"Probably a good idea," Raphael agreed. "You speak nerd, maybe you can get him ta understand."
"I suppose we may as well tell April and Casey while we're at it, since they're all together. Then I guess we can tell Dad when we see him. You don't think we need ta tell Artie and Demi too do you?"
"Nah, Tina's probably on tha phone with them right now."
"Awesome," Stella said dryly while she began working to pull her hair up into something that resembled an actual hairdo rather than a haystack. She let out a heavy sigh. "We should probably get it over with then and just head over there now."
Raphael furrowed his brow as he scanned her from head to toe. "Are ya sure Stel? Tina's right, you had a rough day yesterday, it's alright if ya wanna go back ta bed for awhile."
She waved him off. "I'm fine. I'm not exactly a fragile flower. I do know how to take a beating."
The large turtle shook his head, not at all liking the thought of her taking a beating although he knew just how skilled she was and that she was right, she was just as tough as any of his brothers. "If you're sure."
"I'm sure. Why don't you text Casey now and let him know we're on our way over so they know to expect us. This," she gestured to the newly formed beehive looking mess of hair atop her head, "is going to require some brushing."