Katniss stretches out on her bed, raising her arms high above her head and pointing her toes. She's tempted to curl back up into a ball underneath her covers when her skin is met with the chilly morning air, but she knows if she doesn't get up now, she won't get up for the rest of the day. Rolling over, Katniss pulls the covers closer to her body and peeks at Sage's crib placed just a few feet away.
Katniss's mother assisted her in the hovercraft ride back to District Twelve, but once Katniss was situated at her house, her mother left, talking about some job in another District. Katniss hadn't seen Peeta since the meeting before Coin and Snow's death, and she half-hoped he'd be in his house. But when she pushed open his front door like she'd done so many times before, the house was completely empty. She had no idea where he was.
Meanwhile, she ordered some things from the Capitol-things Sage needed, like a crib and baby carrier. Sage slept with Katniss until her crib arrived. She now sleeps happily in her own crib, but no further than a few feet away from Katniss who was afraid she'd had separation anxiety if she gave Sage her own room right now. That is, Katniss would have the anxiety, not Sage.
Sage peeks at Katniss around one of the bars in her crib, her blue eyes bright. Sage didn't cry a lot, surprisingly. Katniss imagined the first five years to be a lot of screaming, but Sage was usually quiet in the mornings.
"Good morning, beautiful," Katniss says, rolling over and lifting herself out of the bed, abandoning her warm covers and comfy pillow. Sage gives Katniss a huge, gums only smile that makes Katniss smile in return. She lifts Sage out of her crib and presses a kiss onto her cheek.
Then, suddenly, there's a weird sound outside. Katniss pauses, tipping her head slightly and trying to listen hard. It almost sounds like a shovel hitting dirt.
"Do you hear that?" Katniss asks Sage. Sage just stares blankly at her, blinking slowly. "Right, you're a two-month old baby. I forgot."
Katniss was used to being alone, but she wasn't quite used to being alone with a baby. It was different because Katniss could feel her presence, and she had to remind herself she wasn't alone anymore. She was thankful for her daughter because she knew if she wasn't here, she wouldn't get out of bed and she wouldn't eat and Greasy Sae would make a lot more visits than she did now. Sage was helping Katniss heal herself.
As Katniss carefully makes her way down the stairs, she hears that sound again, and she knows it's definitely someone digging. Right outside her house. On her lawn. Annoyed and assuming it someone purposely getting on her nerves, she storms outside, keeping Sage close against her so she won't get cold. She rounds the corner of house and stops short in surprise when she sees him.
His face is flushed from his digging and in a wheelbarrow next to him sits five scraggly bushes.
"P-Peeta," Katniss says, looking at him disbelief. She was sure he wasn't coming back. She had been in District Twelve for a full month, and Peeta hadn't contacted her at all. She assumed he moved on- found a better place to live.
"My doctor wouldn't let me leave until yesterday. I, uh, freaked out after you shot Coin and had an episode. They didn't want me to hurt anybody," he says, resting his arm on the top of the shovel.
"What are you doing?" Katniss asks defensively, shifting Sage in her arms. Peeta's eyes linger on their daughter for a moment before they dart to the bushes.
"I went to the woods this morning and dug these up. For her," he says. "I thought we could plant them along the side of the house."
Katniss can't develop words. She stares at the flowers. Evening primrose for Prim. A little sound escapes Katniss's mouth and she immediately slams her mouth shut. She nods to him and turns to leave before she pauses. She was angry at him even though she knew he couldn't help not being able to see her. She couldn't shut him out anymore, though. They have a baby together, and Katniss couldn't raise her all by herself.
Clearing her throat, she turns back around to Peeta who was still watching her.
"When you're done, you can come inside and have…breakfast," she says, hesitating because she wasn't exactly sure what to invite him inside for. She hoped it was still early enough for breakfast and he hadn't eaten yet. Peeta nods and Katniss turns back around, continuing the path to her house. Behind her, the sounds of Peeta's labor start up again.
Once inside, Katniss feeds Sage, changes her diaper and sets her down on a blanket in the living room to play, all the while trying to ignore the sounds outside and the nervous way her hands kept pressing themselves against her thighs. Keeping a watchful eye on Sage, Katniss sets to work on breakfast, cooking eggs and toast. Her hands shake as she pulls the toast from the oven and she clenches them into fists once the toast is safely on a plate.
Stop, she tells herself, talking a deep breath. Stop being nervous.
When Peeta opens the front door, Katniss jumps a little while spooning the eggs onto the plate. Peeta moves over to her and leans against the counter.
"You're mad," he says.
Katniss looks at him, frowning, and tries her best to ignore how his eyes look exactly like Sage's.
"No," she says, setting the plate on the table and gesturing to it. She moves around to the living room and makes sure Sage is still there. She couldn't crawl or even push herself over on her back, but Katniss still worried about her constantly.
"Yes, you are."
"Why would I be mad?" Katniss asks, coming back into the dining room.
"When are you not mad?"
Katniss shoots him an annoyed look and drags out the chair on the opposite side of the table. She didn't make herself breakfast because she wasn't hungry. Peeta is silent as he clears his plate and he keeps glancing up at Katniss. When their eyes meet, his flit away just like they did when Katniss would catch him looking at her when they were children. Katniss shifts in her seat, glancing at Sage and then back to Peeta.
Katniss takes Peeta's empty plate and moves into the kitchen, rinsing it off. She grabs the pan she used to cook the eggs and begins to scrub it viciously. When Peeta wraps his arms around her waist from behind, the pan slips from her fingers and slams into the sink.
Startled, Katniss turns in his arms and attempts to take a step back, but she's only met with the sink.
"Peeta," Katniss says, grabbing the edge of the counter.
"Please don't be mad at me. I wanted to come here with you, but I wasn't allowed to leave," he says, his arms tightening around her.
"I'm not mad! Why do you keep saying that?" she demands, trying to squirm her way out of his arms.
"Because you are! I've known you long enough to know when you're angry-"
Peeta's words suddenly stop as Katniss pulls him down and kisses him. She was annoyed at him, and angry that he knew how she felt, but most of all, she'd missed him. When she finally admitting to loving him, he disappeared and she was left empty-handed and confused.
But the war was over and they were both safe and alive. And Peeta was back and he looked healthier than he'd been in a long time.
The kiss ends abruptly when Sage starts crying. Peeta lets Katniss slip from his arms, her face flushed. Sage is on her back, her little face red as she cries.
"Oh!" Katniss says, leaning down to pick her up. Sage had never rolled over on her back before. Katniss takes a step back and bumps into Peeta's chest. She turns and is met with Peeta's chest. She steps back, but Peeta's not even paying attention. His eyes are glued to Sage whose cries simmered down to whimpers.
"She's big," he says.
Katniss swallows and nods. Peeta holds out his arms hesitantly, looking at Katniss. She hands Sage over and watches as Peeta adjusts her in his arms, trying to find a comfortable way to hold her. Katniss reaches out and moves his hand to her back, and then the other one to her head.
"Thanks," he says.
Katniss nods again, scared that if she speaks, her voice will betray her. She bites her lip and moves forward to brush her fingers over the top of Sage's head. Her dark hair is soft and she blinks up at Katniss and smiles.
"She looks exactly like you," Peeta says, bouncing her slightly.
"I don't see it."
It's silent for a moment, the only sound is Sage's mouth as she closes and opens it.
"Katniss, I love you."
Katniss keeps her eyes on Sage for a moment before she lifts them to Peeta. He's watching her now, waiting for her response.
"I love you too."
It takes a little while for Katniss and Peeta to fall together again. Peeta was no longer the broken boy he was in District Thirteen and Katniss had to remind herself that a lot more often than not.
He sleeps in his own house three doors down while Katniss wishes he'd come over to her. But she doesn't want to force him to do anything.
One day while Sage is taking a nap and Katniss is cleaning up from lunch, she hears a little hiss. Turning, she sees her sister's scraggly cat Buttercup. She takes in the claw marks on his back, the back paw he holds slightly above the ground and the prominent bones in face. He's traveled on foot to come all the way to District Twelve for Prim.
"It was a waste of a trip," she tells him, her face getting hot. "She's not here. Prim's not coming back."
At the sound of her name, Buttercup's ears perk and he mews like a little kitten. It breaks Katniss's heart and the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. "Go away," she tells him. When he doesn't listen, she grabs the nearest pillow off of the couch and throws it at him.
She almost screams but she remembers Sage is upstairs and she stops herself. Buttercup meows consistently, sometimes turning it into a wail. It takes Katniss a long time to calm herself.
Buttercup sits still as Katniss cleans his cuts and removes thorns from his paws. She starts to cry again once he releases those kitten mews, but she keeps silent.
The next morning, Peeta arrives with a warm loaf of bread just as Katniss is waking up. She can hear him downstairs, and she knows Sage will be asleep for a few more hours because she woke up earlier to feed her and change her.
Katniss walks down the stairs, hugging herself to ward off the chill of the morning. Peeta's in the kitchen slicing the bread when she walks in.
"Good morning," he says, glancing at her and smiling.
Katniss leans against the counter next to him and looks up at him. She reaches out and brushes his hair away from his eyes. He sets down the knife and closes his eyes. She felt so awkward around him because neither of them knew how to move on next.
Sage wakes up sooner than Katniss expected, so she leaves Peeta in the kitchen while she goes upstairs to get her. When she comes back down, she grabs a slice of the bread and sits on the couch with Sage. Peeta takes a seat next to her as she leans down and carefully sets Sage down on a blanket on the floor.
"What's that for?" he asks.
"It's so her neck and back muscles can get strong so she will be able to lift her head."
Katniss takes a bite of her bread and leans forward slightly.
"I've been singing to her," she says.
Peeta looks at her. "What kind of songs?"
"Old ballads. Things my dad used to sing to me when I was little."
"I remember your dad singing. One time he came into the bakery singing a song about…a tree."
"The Hanging Tree," Katniss answers. She remembers that song well, too. "My father used to sing that all the time. I made a noose one time while singing it and my mom freaked out. She made my father swear to never sing it around us again."
"I wish my parents sang to me when I was little." Peeta's eyebrows furrow as he looks away and frowns. Katniss sees a flash of Peeta's mother smacking him. The sound reverberates in her skull and she winces. She leans over and grasps his chin, turning him to look at her. She kisses him, trying to put every ounce of love she feels toward him into it.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Katniss whispers.
"Always."
woaaaaahhhh okay sorry for uploading this same chapter three times in a row? For some reason, i stopped receiving emails and i thought the update didn't work so i tried to upload it again. Apologies to the people who probably received three emails saying that i updated this same chapter. Nevertheless, enjoy!
oh and some people are telling me to proof read and i do but my mind automatically knows what I've already written so it changes it in my head and i don't notice the mistakes? idk it's weird, but I swear i dont do the mistakes on purpose