Harry Potter: The Force of Friction
"Okay everyone, today we're going to read a story," Mr. Johnson said.
"Ooh, yay! I love stories!" Ron shouted. "What's the story?"
"It's called Miss Rubby Scrubby of Sink City," Mr. Johnson said.
Ron looked slightly confused. "I've never heard of that story before."
"None of you have, probably. It's an American story enlightening us about science."
The class groaned.
"Aw, it's science class! What were you expecting?" he asked.
"Not to die of boredom?" Ron offered.
"Let's get started," Mr. Johnson said, opening up the book and beginning to read. "'It was a quiet, peaceful day in Sink City. All the utensils, plates, pots and soap suds were living happily in harmony. It was all perfect.'"
"I'm bored already and we haven't even met any characters yet," Ron whispered to Harry.
"Ssh, don't worry, I'm sure that we will soon," Harry assured.
"'But one day, there was a terrible storm. It had suddenly started raining lasagna sauce over the entire city. Now, you see, lasagna sauce is a natural poison to utensils, pots, plates and soap suds, and prolonged contact with it will eventually result in the poison eating away at them from the inside-out until there was nothing left.'"
"But I like lasagna," Ron muttered.
"'All the citizens of Sink City were wailing in fear and despair. What were they going to do?'"
"Rot and die?"
"'But one small sponge came to the rescue. Her name was Rubby Scrubby, Miss Rubby Scrubby of Sink City. And she was able to use the power of friction to save her city.'"
"The power of friction? How stupid is that?" Ron said.
"'Using her special friction suit, she was able to use friction, which is defined as the force that opposes motion between two surfaces, to clean the pots and remove the poisonous lasagna sauce from the city.'"
"I'm still bored," Ron said.
"'The citizens of Sink City cheered, for they had been saved. But, for naught, because suddenly, Rubby Scrubby's arch enemy, Lasagna Man, appeared on a perch over the city. The citizens cowered in fear. They knew Lasagna Man would poison them all.'"
"Oh no!" Ron said sarcastically. He honestly didn't care about the citizens whatsoever.
"'But they had no need to fear, for Rubby Scrubby flew right up to Lasagna Man and used her friction suit to grate him away until he was nothing.'"
"Aw I liked him," Ron complained.
"'The inhabitants of Sink City cheered with joy. They carried Rubby Scrubby on their shoulders and carried her deep within the city, where the celebration began.'" Mr. Johnson closed the book.
"That's it? That was a lame book!" Ron said.
"Well, it's short because there were lots of pictures."
"Pictures? There were pictures and you didn't show us?"
"You're too old –"
But by then Ron was already out the door.