PART OF HIS WORLD
He doesn't know it, but sometimes I'll go and watch him. When he's
in his bedroom, or at dinner, I'll climb up the twisted tree that spreads
along the north side of his house, and look at him through flimsy drapes.
Why do I do it? I don't know. All I can say is that often, I'll be
sitting at my desk, intent upon some history or math, when I'll blank out
and all that I will see's his face. The twinkling eyes, the unkept hair
that overflows over a thick bandanna... If I then try to work again, I
fail, quite mis'rably. Much as I try to concentrate on torque or battle,
integral or execution, the only thing that fills me with an eagerness to
BE, to DO, is thoughts of being with him, next to him, to see him, smell
him, feel his presence, see the pinkish glow around him from his aura...
And being who I am, I succumb to temptation. It's no use trying
to avoid it; sure as spirits will pursue those who they're interested in,
he haunts me, and so I follow him.
Ironic. All I want to do is speak to him, to learn from him, to
let him learn from ME, but every time I try, I stall. My mind stops up,
I fidget and stare at my shoes, then mumble something incoherent and inane
before skittering off through a convenient exit. The best that I can hope
for's what I have already mentioned; viewing him from hidden heights,
delighting in the sound of second-hand, recycled laughter and rejoicing
in the few brief glimpses that I catch of him, either dining or asleep.
He sleeps so sweetly! On his side, he hugs his pillow, smiles, and
even chuckles every now and then, as something in his dreams conspires to
bring him mirth. And when he eats, the Hibiki tradition is quite evident
in the refined and classy way in which he handles his utensils, daintily
bringing bite after bite into a thin-lipped mouth, which carefully chews
each morsel...
Even in the cafeteria, he shows his cultured ways. And being there
at the same time as he, and seeing the display with open eyes for once,
instead of with the vision of my mind... That tempted me, upon a time, to
fin'lly try my luck; to go to him, reveal my heart, and stand my judgement
stoically.
Yeah, right.
When do came to ado, I summoned him. I did!
"Ratiko!" I yelled, as he was exiting the lunch line.
"Yes?" he asked, and smiled, and walked to where I stood.
I looked at him, and tried to speak, but my mouth went dry, and
my throat closed up, and all I managed was some clumsy stammering while
the two of us stood awkwardly before each other.
Then, I looked into his eyes. Perhaps in them there would be
something I could use, that I could bring up to begin intelligent parley.
No luck. His family genes kicked in, and noticing my attentions, he turned
red, and lowered his head to stare at the reconstituted beans that graced
his plastic meal-tray.
He was about to leave. I could tell. His feet were shuffling
uncomfortably, and his thumbs were fidgeting along the upraised
side-ridges of the tray.
This was the time. I drew deep breaths for courage (and was
pleased, I must admit, at how each inhalation brought Rat's face a step
or two closer to crimson), then hardened my countenance and started:
"Ratiko, I..."
"Skeride! Over here!"
"What?" I swivelled, trying to find who had called me. Just my
luck. The physics club were seated at a table of their own, trying their
hand at some new problem of theirs. No matter how many times I told them
that my major was to be Exploratory History, they refused to leave me, and
although I had not registered, was made a de-facto, non-dues-paying member
sheerly through the virtue of my valedictorian grades in the course.
"Think you could help us here?" asked one of them. "We've been
at this one for HOURS, and we don't have a clue as to how to finish it."
"I think you have to go now," said the darling Hibiki. I nodded,
then remembered something.
"I haven't said my name, have I?" I asked. Mirabile dictu, that
sentence all came through. Ratiko shook his head.
"Gosunkugi Skeride," I told him, and in an automatic greeting
gesture offered my hand. Before I realised what I had done, he took it in
his own firm grip, and shook it.
"Hibiki Ratiko. Pleased to meet you." With that, he turned and
left to eat with friends, leaving me standing dazed. I still remember
every moment of that touch, when skin-to-skin, my powers were allowed
to probe him, feel him, sense his nature and his soul...
And now I'm in it worse than ever. Never since, or e'er before,
had ever such a noble, happy, pure and pristine spirit crossed my path.
His dominant colour was a pale pastel pink, his feeling warmth and comfort,
and throughout all that intelligence and perspicacity suffused... That
wasn't all, though. I can't describe the rest. It was like all the goodness
in the world combined into a batter, then mixed and baked into a light,
spongy angel-food-cake.
The physics club never DID get me to help them with that problem.
As soon as I regained my senses, I bolted out the door and didn't stop my
legs until I had rushed into my room, locked the door and was prone upon
my bed.
It's been a week (well, almost two), and still I cannot rid my
mind of what I felt that noon. No more. I must come out of hiding. What
time is it?
I look outside the window. The moon is up, and thanks to all the
rain-clouds has a watery halo. Judging by its angle of ascension, and the
time of year, it's probably close to midnight.
I could look at my clock, but then what use would it have been
to take that astrophysics course?
Tonight I'll tell him. If I don't, I risk that someone else will
beat me to his heart.
Where could he be, though?
Concentrate.
I close my eyes, as I was trained to do, and focus on the wards
that I have set on him. Protection, luck, and health they bring, but also
should allow me to feel where he is.
Nothing.
I try again, and think I feel him very faintly. A soft, warm
glow, a flash of pink - and then it's gone. The magic still is much too
recent, and before it has a chance to grow, I won't be able to get much
from it.
Better go to Jansen's. She usually knows where that Hibiki is.
I stand up and look in the mirror.
Typical Gosunkugi figure. Sunken eyes surrounded by dark rings, a
pale white face, and long brown hair that falls until my waist, a bright
white stripe along the middle bringing symmetry to my whole.
And what of clothes? It looks all right, I guess... Black
body-suit, a leather jacket... Nothing to complain about, and if I'm lucky,
it might even bring a nosebleed from that darling Rat.
I smile. The dear is truly heir to USE.
A pat, a smooth, a brush, and I leave. The room I'm looking for is
close. Just a few doors and a hallway or two and I'm there. Kunou Hall,
A-321. I knock.
"Come in!" says a female voice.
I open the door. Inside are Jansen, with that friend of hers...
Akane... I never COULD remember her last name.
"Oh. Hi there, Nutkin," Childra says, and the other waves. Somewhat
nervously. She's always been a bit jittery around me, though I can't tell
why...
"Do you know where Ratiko is?"
"Rat?"
I nod.
"Haven't seem him for days. He went off on some school trip with
Thompson. Considering his sense of direction, you know what THAT means..."
I sigh. She's right. I only hope that Kim, being American, does
not desire him as I do. I can only hope. But worse! If HE likes HER...
I stop that train of thought. No use in worrying until he returns. Which
may take days (or weeks?).
"Thank-you," I answer, and excuse myself.
Tonight was not the night.
I'll wait for him, and when we meet again, then I WILL tell him.
I will. No more excuses, no more delays. He will know how I feel, and
I will accept the fate which he pronounces.
I walk back, to sit, and think, and work, and hold my breath in
expectation of what is to come.
The future.
Somewhere in China, a moto-mech speeds through a barren landscape.
"We're out of the range of the navmap," says a black-haired boy,
red bandanna flapping in the wind.
"OUT OF RANGE???" The girl behind him frowns. "I thought those
things were good for a thousand-K radius!"
"They are."
"And we..."
"Are out of that radius."
"RATIKO NO BAKA!"