NOTE:I know this is later than usual, but life does that sometimes. I post when I can. I do have other things to do. I really love you all for your reviews. All of them. I appreciate that you take the time to let me know you read, you don't have to, but I really appreciate it.

For those who asked, and thanks for asking, the personal stuff still exists...it's stable, but still semi-shitty. No, I'm not getting a divorce and no my kids are fine and no one is on drugs. And people are healthy, except for the occasional flu and cold. It's just other shit that falls under the purview of personal.

The ***Warning*** in this chapter is for rape content. Sorry I didn't add it sooner, it was an oversight. Avoid if you'd prefer.

Now a comment about comments in the flashback: I had many people ask if I served in the military. The answer to this, is no. I was asked this by several people who did serve because of the "reality" of the flashback. I think this means I did my job as a writer. If people who did serve were reminded of the reality of war by my flashback, then this goes to my second point. The people who were upset that "these things could not have happened." Oh, they did and they do. My flashback was written based on stories from friends and family members who did serve. It wasn't just 1 or 2, but several different stories.

The main story I used was from a close friend's husband who was in the Army Spec. Ops. His unit was simply rolling through, and a kid, oh about 7 or 8 came running up with a bunch of other kids asking for candy and smiling, this is common. The soldiers give out candy and toys. This kid gives the soldiers a soccer ball, the soldiers start playing with it, kicking it and as soon as they do, the kids run. The soldiers KNOW now, but it's too late. My friend's hubby loses his leg. The village is a rebel village. This kid ends up dead, found him with an assault rifle in his hands later. Most of the kids die this way in this village. This is 1 story out of many many more. These soldiers have to come back and live with this.

Don't judge them. Nico makes the comment in the last chapter and I took it from an ex SEAL I know. He actually says the words pretty damn close. "I get it, I know why he wants to kill me. I just shot his older brother and his father and he thinks we raped his sister. I don't blame him. If this was my home, I'd shoot me too. I don't have a choice. He might be 10, he might be 12 but he's my goddamn enemy, so I shoot him. I shoot him so he doesn't shoot me, or the medic coming behind me. I shoot him so we can get through this village and into the next one to end this mother fucking war so I can go home and see my babies."

The Rabbit Hole

Nico dragged Ken through the old building and down the hall. He didn't stop at the desk where he'd found Lindsay. He knew that wasn't where the video had been made. He knew it was in the back, deeper in the building. He shook the kid.

"Where? Which way was it you tortured her?"

Ken glared up at him. He was starting to realize this guy wasn't a cop, or if he was he was off his meds. "What the fuck man? I want to go home. You know my dad has money right?"

Nico snorted. "Look asshole, I don't need money. I want to know where was it that you felt the need to violate an innocent girl." He shoved open a set of doors and they entered a room filled with machinery. At the other end there was another set of doors. Nico shoved the kid ahead of him, but didn't let go of his arm. "She was innocent you know. A virgin until you pieces of shit got a hold of her. Did you care about that? Did you care that she wanted to stay that way, save herself for someone she loved and you took that from her. For what?" He couldn't help but hit the kid, so he didn't resist landing a punch to his right kidney and Ken's moan made him smile. "You took that for what, because you could? To prove something? Did it make you feel like a man?"

Ken was still trying to straighten up and he did gradually. He laughed some and shook his head. "You have no fucking clue do you?"

"You are unbelievable kid, you know that? I have a gun, it's loaded, I've threatened you and I'm a bit unstable right now and you're fucking laughing." Nico shoved him roughly through the doors and into the hallway.

Ken smiled at him. "You wouldn't dare." He shrugged and leaned against the wall as he caught his breath.

Nico pulled the gun, released the safety and without hesitation placed it calmly against Ken's temple. "I will without hesitation. I will pull the trigger, turn around and leave your body twitching on this cold, dirty floor." He said this without blinking and without emotion. His hand was steady and his voice was even. "I'll be sipping margaritas on a beach somewhere tropical in five hours and I'll never think about Ken fucking Ellis again."

Ken's smile faltered and he swallowed hard. The gun barrel was making a mark on his face it was pressed so hard. He started to think this guy was serious. He held up his hands. "Okay man, okay…put the gun down and I'll talk to you…"

The gun pressed harder for a second. Nico didn't want to lower it. He wanted to pull the trigger and watch the kid's brains paint the wall. He wanted to feel the spray of hot blood, taste the salt of it. He wanted to feel the kick as the small explosion of gunpowder in the chamber sent the recoil up his arm. There was a memory in him that was begging to be relived somewhere. Instead, he blinked and saw a scared kid and he took a breath and lowered the weapon. He slid the safety into place again. "Move." He shoved Ken forward and down the narrow hallway.

Ken exhaled and moved. Given this guy's current mood and his obvious connection to Lindsay Santinio, he wasn't really thrilled that they were heading toward the office where he knew they'd kept the girl. More than one actually, he'd known about several. He'd helped Tyler and Mason more than once with their videos. He enjoyed the videos, hell why not, but Lindsay had been more personal he had to admit. It was her fault that Libby had broken up with him and Libby had been fucking awesome in bed.

He pushed open the door and stepped into the office. "Here, this is the room, okay. This is where they kept her. Happy now?" He stared at Nico with cool contempt.

Nico kept the kid in front of him, shoving him along and shook his head. "No, happy is not the word for how I feel. You hurting someone I care about does not make me happy." Nico surveyed the room and frowned. He'd heard Lindsay's story, but still. He saw the bed against the wall and it was disgusting. It was filthy and stained. He could only imagine with what. No, he knew exactly what those stains were; so he didn't need to imagine…bodily fluid of every kind. He looked at Ken.

"So, did you even wait until she was awake to torture her?"

Ken looked at him. "Have you seen the video man?" He snorted and shook his head. "She's awake, trust me, she just doesn't remember it because of the drugs…" He shrugged. "It's better that she doesn't remember I'm sure. At least there's that, right?"

Nico growled. He grabbed the kid and slammed him against the wall. His forearm was against his throat. He was inches from Ken's face. "She does remember you asshole. She remembers feeling like she was drowning and gagging." Nico turned his head to the side. When he'd been captured he'd been tortured and waterboarding was not a completely American torture technique. He still remembered the feeling of water and god knows what else filling his mouth and nose. He looked back at Ken and pressed against his throat to cut off his air. He watched the kid start to struggle for air. "How does it feel Ken? How does it feel to not know if I'm going to let you get more air?" He pulled back and let the kid gasp and then pressed again. "Is it good?"

Ken pulled at Nico's arm and fought, but the guy was bigger and stronger, there was no way he could get away. He started crying and then mercifully there was air. He pulled in a long lung full and stared at this guy. Who the hell was he to Lindsay anyway?

Nico dragged the kid to the bed and shoved him face down on the nasty mattress. He held his face against it, put his knee in the middle of his back and put the gun to the back of his head. "She couldn't breathe Ken and you were violating her…taking away a part of her innocence. A part she should have had for as long as she wanted to keep it. A part no woman should ever have to let go of, unless it's something she wants." He pressed his knee harder into the kid's back and moved the gun around the kid's hair. "You just shouldn't have done it. You were so wrong. Did you do it anyone else Ken? Was Lindsay the first or were you in the other videos too?"

Ken made a noise in his throat.

"Oh, I know about all the videos. Do you know a girl named Juliette? A pretty blonde, she would have worked for the heroin. I know her too. That one is my daughter and if I find out you touched her, well I have some other work to do before the bullet goes through your brain." Nico knew he'd lost it. He was giddy with thoughts of what he wanted to do to this kid. All the thoughts of revenge he'd wanted for Tyler and Mason…oh, he could take all that out on Ken.

Ken started crying. Fuck this guy was scaring him and obviously wasn't playing. "Dude listen. I'm not gonna lie I helped Tyler and Mason with other girls, but I don't remember your girl…the blonde Juliette, I don't know that one. I never helped them with the drug exchanges. That's honest and true." He took a breath. "We can work something out. I'll admit I drugged Lindsay and take the plea they offered to testify against Tyler."

Nico shook his head. "Not good enough Kenny. I want you to admit to the drugs, and the assault and testify. Think about it this way; what if I had your mother on this bed Ken? Naked, tied down, screaming no, begging and crying while me and three or four other guys were pissing and cumming down her throat while someone forced her mouth open? How would that make you feel?"

Ken gagged. "Oh god…"

"Ahh, did you realize how horrible it might have been for Lindsay? How about it, you want to try to be the bukkake boy and human urinal? I'm sure we could find some guys who'll appreciate your pretty face and tight ass Kenny." He slid the gun down Ken's back and poked the seam of his pants. "Hell, might want to get used to it. After all, a boy like you will make a man a really nice bitch in prison."

Ken started struggling some. "Please don't…you can't do this…you can't…"

Nico pressed the gun harder into the kid's butt. "Is that what Lindsay said? No, please? You can't? Did she beg?" He lifted the gun and then brought it down across the side of Ken's cheek, whipping him hard across the face with it as he shoved off the bed. "You son of a bitch." He was so angry. He paced the room to the wall and then turned around and paced back.

Ken had rolled over and scrambled up against the wall. He had pulled his knees against his chest and Nico imagined that Lindsay had probably sat in the same position, terrified and afraid with her arms wrapped around her legs and tears on her face, just like Ken was right now. It didn't make him feel sorry for Ken, it just made him angry that the kid had done it to her, yet wanted mercy for himself.

Nico glared at him, so angry he was shaking with the violence of it. He held his gun at his side in his right hand. "You piece of shit. She begged and cried and you laughed and did exactly what you wanted, so you tell me Ken Ellis, tell me right now." He raised the weapon, slid the safety and stepped up to the bed. "Give me one reason right now why I shouldn't put a bullet between your eyes."

NRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNR

Ronnie pulled up beside Nico's car with a curse. Dani wasn't there yet, or she didn't think she was since there were no other cars. She closed the door quietly and dialed Dani's number. She waited strumming her fingers on the hood of her car. She was about to disconnect and resend when Dani picked up.

"Where are you?" She stared into the distance waiting, hoping to see her.

"Stuck, there's an accident and I'm stuck until I can crawl ahead and make a turn." There was a honk and Dani cursed. "Like I can go anywhere asshole…are you there? Is he there?"

"Yes and yes, but I'm not inside I was waiting on you. Shit, I don't want to go in alone." She knew better, things might not go well if she did. She closed her eyes and thought. Tommy was at the hospital, AJ was out of town and Xeno was still in the city. "Fuck, Dani where is Ray Jay?"

"Ray Jay? Why?"

"If he's on this side of the accident he's closer than you and you're stuck. I need someone here to help me and there isn't anyone else close."

"Shit…I don't want him getting hurt Ronnie. Nico's…"

Ronnie cut her off. "Dani, listen I need help, Nico needs help and Ray Jay's a smart kid. Is he close to me or not?" She didn't have time.

Dani hesitated and then, "He might be, he was heading to the hospital. He's my baby Ronnie."

"Dani, I'm a mother I get it, but I need someone…"

"Okay…" her voice caught. "If he gets hurt I will kill you."

"I will let you."

"You have his number?"

"Yes, I'm hanging up now, get here when you can and text me."

Ronnie hung up and immediately dialed Ray Jay. His phone rang once and then he answered.

"Yo, not sure who this is, but what is up?"

"Ray Jay, it's Ronnie, where are you right now?"

"I'm driving to the hospital, just pulled out of the burger place on Merrick by Elliot. Why?"

"Thank god. I need your help and I need it now and you're only like five minutes from here." She closed her eyes and thought. "You remember where we found Lindsay? Can you get there?"

"Fuck yes, are you there? Is there a problem? Where's Nico and mom, should we call the cops?"

"Shut up. I'm here now, Nico's here and I need you here. Just get here as fast as you can. Do not get your ass pulled over. Do you understand me and do not call the cops. Your mother is on her way."

"Okay, got it. Ronnie, what the hell though? I mean I don't understand what's the deal? They have everyone…"He was nervous.

"Nico has Ken and he's upset. Your mom's stuck in traffic and we need to talk Nico down. I don't want to go in alone. It's me and you kid. I need you."

Ray Jay was quiet for a few seconds. He was nervous. Nico didn't freak out. "Ronnie, this is fucked up. I'm on Commercial. I cut through a few alleys and it's quicker through the old parking lot of the closed mill. I'll be there in a few seconds."

"I see your car, hanging up." She disconnected and nodded. The kid had a good head on his shoulders and was able to see things most people didn't. The alleys and the parking lot, even she hadn't seen those. He'd make a good soldier if he decided to go that route. Maybe it was the quarterback in him. He could visualize the passing routes, pick the best one available.

He pulled up beside her with a burger in his hand. He was finishing it as he exited the car.

She shook her head.

"What, I was hungry and it was only gonna get cold, figured I should eat it while it was hot." He popped the last bite in his mouth. "So, what's going on?"

Ronnie grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the building as she pulled her weapon from her shoulder holster. She checked the clip as she moved. "Here's the deal. We need to talk the crazy man off the ledge okay. He's just a little out of sorts. He needs people he trusts to be around him. That's me and you. You're the family and I'm the one who's gonna knock him in the head if he doesn't listen to reason. Let's just hope he listens to reason." They were in the building and moving fast down the hall.

Ray Jay's nose wrinkled when they hit the desk area. "God I can't believe this was where it went down…." He shivered and rubbed his arms. "Where are they? I thought you said they were here."

"They are kid, but your sister said she was in the back…she ran up here after she beat the hell out of Tyler." She motioned toward the doors and they pushed through them. She hurried them through the machine room and then through the other doors.

"Really? More?" Ray Jay whined.

"Shh, listen…that's Nico."

She was right. Nico was talking. They could just make out his voice and they moved down the hall toward it. There was an open door at the end of the hall and as they approached Ronnie held up her hand and whispered. "Quiet."

Ray Jay nodded and fell into step behind her.

Ronnie stepped into the room to see Nico's back facing her. Ken was on the floor by a bed in the corner of the large room and he was cowering. Nico's weapon was aimed at his head. If Nico pulled the trigger, he was dead.

"Hey boss, you sure you wanna do that without at least messing up his pretty face first?"

Nico didn't move. "What are you doing here Navarro?"

She moved into the room and as she did she motioned Ray to join her. "We're here. We came to help you beat the shit out of him."

Nico glanced quickly toward the door. "You brought the kid?"

Ray Jay puffed himself up and moved past Ronnie toward the bed. He glared at Ken. Anger rose up inside him. "Is this the piece of shit that hurt my sister?

Nico smiled and moved his eyes back to Ken. "Yes it is Ray Jay. He is the piece of shit that hurt your sister."

"Ray Jay," Ronnie put her hand on his shoulder.

He looked back at her and winked and then he shook off her hand. "Isn't this what you brought me here for Ronnie? Isn't this what we came for?" He rubbed his hands together and then looked at Nico. "So, do I get to hit him now?"

Nico glanced at the kid finally, but kept the gun trained on Ken and then he looked at Ronnie. "I'm going to kill Tommy when I get a hold of him."

Ronnie stepped around Ray Jay and put her hand on Nico's arm. She looked him dead in the eye. "You can do that." She nodded and smirked at him. "Hell I'll even help since he's a regular pain in my ass and I'd like to kill him on a regular basis, but how about right this minute you lower the weapon boss?"

Nico shook his head. "He needs put down. You know what he did." He motioned to Ray Jay. "The kid wants it done too."

Ronnie rolled her eyes and her hand slid down to his wrist as she shook her head. "No, Ray Jay wants him hurt, not dead because the kid wants you home with his mother tonight, not in jail." Her hand wrapped around his on the grip on the gun. "He wants you there to take care of his mom and Lindsay, not in some non extradition country for the rest of your damn life." She pushed his hand downward, lowering the gun.

The entire time Ken's eyes darted between the tall woman and Lindsay's brother. He knew Ray Jay, he'd played football against him. The woman was tall and sexy, but she looked like she'd kick his ass if he even mentioned it to her. He didn't move, he was terrified if he did the tall guy would shoot him. The gun was still on him, but he was hopeful that these two were at least going to keep him alive. This Nico guy, well hell, he was pretty fucking sure Nico was going to put that bullet in his head just like he said.

Nico let the gun fall to his side with a sigh. "Fuck you Ronnie."

"Fuck you too boss." She looked at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "This isn't the way to get shit done man."

"I want to kill him." He sounded cold and defeated.

"I know."

"He's a loose end. I didn't tie up the last one and Lindsay got hurt." He looked down at Ken and the anger flared again. He glanced at Ray Jay and saw the kid's anger and pain, but also his confusion and fear. God, he'd been the confused angry kid once and all the hate and anger had turned him into what he was now. That and everything else he'd fucked up in the apst. "I don't want that to happen again."

Ray Jay bent and grabbed a handful of Ken's shirt. He hauled the kid toward him. "It's not going to ever happen again is it Ken?" He moved, rotated his hips and suddenly his fist landed solidly against the kid's jaw. Ken slumped back to the floor, out cold.

Ronnie snorted. "Fuck kid, you have a serious cross." She looked to Nico. "You teach him that shit?"

Nico smiled and shook his head. "No, but I'd like to know who did." He took a step and nudged the kid on the floor roughly with his shoe. "Nice punch, Ray Jay."

Ray Jay shook out his hand and winced. "Thanks and it was my grandma who taught me. She knows a thing or two about boxing."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Nico asked seriously. He still held his gun in his hand, the safety was still off and he was still primed to use it. "I still want to kill him."

Ray Jay snorted. "Dude, me fucking too, but Ronnie's right." He was looking at his hand and he glared at Ken. "I do want you home and Lindsay needs you." He looked up at the other man who was just a bit taller than him. He liked Nico. He'd done a lot for him, mom and right now especially his sister. "She couldn't have gotten this far without you and neither could mom." He shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders. "Me, either…you I like. I don't want you gone man."

Nico looked away from the emotion in the kid's eyes. He didn't want to hear it. He wanted the anger, the hate. He wanted to feel it all for Ken and himself. He wanted guilt.

Ronnie wanted the gun out of his hand, but she could tell that wasn't going to happen just yet. "So really, did you have a plan here or what? You just gonna shoot him and run? That's really not your style boss."

He glared at her. "I hadn't quite finished thinking it through, okay." His finger rested on the gun barrel but he wasn't ready to safety the weapon yet. He simply had it down at his side, ready to go if needed. "I knew the final outcome, that's all. I just wasn't sure of the lead up."

"What is the final outcome Careles? Really? Are you going to put him down?" Ronnie crossed her arms over her chest, tucking her weapon against her chest as she stared Nico down. "Hey, I get that he deserves it, I do, but fuck man a lot of people deserve a lot of things. I'm sure you deserve some shit you didn't end up with." She shook her head and forced back some sliver of emotion. Then she looked to Ray Jay. "The kid there, he deserves some jail time for stupidity. At least that's what the Commonwealth of New York will say and me, trust me man, I did plenty of shit in my past to qualify me for some time behind bars or worse." She rubbed at her bicep. "I regret most of it."

Nico's eyes narrowed. "Most?" He shifted his stance to lean against the wall. He kept his eyes on Ronnie, but he could still see Ken on the floor. Ray Jay was looking nervous, but he wasn't worried about the kid right now, not too much anyway.

She shrugged. "Some of it I did to keep myself safe. I had to. If I didn't I wouldn't be here." She dropped her eyes. "I don't like that I was forced to do it, but…" She shrugged again. "It's like battle man, you don't have a choice when you're getting fired on. You fire back."

He nodded at her. He understood that all too well.

She sighed, "But that's not what I'm talking about. You need to let your bullshit go boss. You need to just forgive whatever happened in the past." She took half a step toward him and saw him tense, so stopped. "If you can't forgive, then just let it go and learn to control it so it doesn't control you anymore. You control it. You master that memory and use it to strengthen you, so it can't control you anymore."

His hand gripped the gun even tighter and his eyes shifted to the floor and settled on Ken.

Ronnie noticed that and the way his jaw tightened along with the hard glint that settled in his eyes. Shit, she wasn't getting through to him. She looked back at Ray Jay and she felt the emotion press, but she pushed it back. She'd do this if she had to. To make her point, to keep these people she'd come to respect and actually like, and in Nico's case, in a brotherly way love, safe.

She took a deep breath. "Hey boss I never told you about my deployment, did I?" She moved toward the wall where he was standing and nonchalantly leaned against it beside him. She let her head fall back against it and then squatted down. "Pop a squat old man, this might be a while."

Nico glanced down at her, puzzled. He'd never heard Ronnie, in all the five years he'd known her, talk about her time in the military. Oh, she'd mention it in passing, and he had her file. He knew more than she probably thought he did, but he didn't know her side of the story. He had the Army's story. He looked at Ray Jay. "Drag his ass over here so I can see him." He waved his gun around like it was a laser pointer.

"Boss, you know that thing isn't safetied, right?" She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "You might want to…"

"Don't tell me what I might want to do." Calm, cool, in charge and no questions were to be asked. That was the voice he used.

Ronnie looked at him and whistled and then smiled as she watched Ray Jay drag Ken. She leaned closer to Nico and kept her voice low. "I don't like the boys, and even if I did, I give the orders, but damn boss…" She shook her head, "that about made me shiver." She winked at him and sat back.

He almost cracked a smile and couldn't help but wonder if she were serious. He gave her a look, but she was watching Ray Jay now. "You still work for me Navarro, so you do take orders from me."

"Yep, but I also get to tell you when you're being an ass without repercussions because this isn't the military and well this isn't anything else now is it?" She smiled wide, but kept her face straight ahead. "Maybe I'll have Ange ask Dr. Dani about that?" She let her eyes shoot to the side to catch his response. She was trying to throw him off guard and lighten the mood. She was hoping for some camaraderie.

He shook his head and nodded at Ray Jay, indicating that the line she was taking wasn't going any further. "You're incorrigible." He bit back the smile, he knew what she was doing. "So, you were deployed…"

She nodded, happy that she got what she wanted and indicating she understood. She looked at the Santino kid. She wasn't sure she should be telling all this with him here. "Ray Jay, do want to hear this?"

He looked at her and then Nico. He grabbed a metal folding chair from the middle of the room and pulled it closer. The seat was bent, but it was usable. He opened it and sat. He was close to the two of them and near Ken. "Look, I'm a big boy. My sister was horribly abused by this asshole and his friends. You two are talking code for kinky sex games that include my mom." He laughed when then exchanged surprised looks. "Dude, I'm not an idiot." He gave Nico an odd look with narrowed eyes and then looked at Ronnie with a new respect and some fear. "If you have something to say, I can hear it. Then we need to figure out what the hell we're doing with this cockbag, because I'd love to take the knife off your belt Ronnie and cut his balls off with it. That is, if neither of you decide to shoot him."

Ronnie laughed. "I like the kid's idea. Let's just neuter him." She reached for her knife.

Nico put his hand on hers and shook his head. "No, no…" He didn't want that knife anywhere near this piece of shit. Not yet…not now. Fuck, not ever. He swallowed. He looked at Ronnie. "Story Ronnie, tell it. You had a reason…so tell your story." He needed to stop thinking because if his thoughts kept going where they were, he was going to kill the bastard right now. He was back to the night they'd found her and what he'd been forced to do with Dani all because this shit head had hurt Dani's baby girl. He lifted his right hand, his index finger was trembling. He wanted to fire the fucking gun.

It was Ray Jay who noticed. "Hey Nico man, he'll still be here when the story's over." Ray Jay kicked Ken in the ribs. The kid on the floor moaned and curled around himself. "See, he's not going anywhere."

Nico looked at Ray Jay. "Yea, good…yea…okay, so story then."

Ronnie took a breath, glanced at Ray Jay, mouthed, "Thank You" and then started. "So, you know how things are with a unit. You learn who you can trust and who you can't pretty quick. I was one of three women in my unit and they start up a new program to propagate good will or some such bullshit. Well, they need women and they need translators. Well, I qualify for both and I don't even really volunteer as get shoved to the head of the line by my E-7 who doesn't like me." She looked at the men and took a breath.

"You know how this bullshit goes. I did manage to drag one of the guys I trusted from my squad with me. He's the one guy that if I wanted a drink I always went with and was always seen with. Nice big blonde guy from Idaho named Johnson. Good guy, manners, treated all the girls nice." She looked to Ray Jay. "You gotta understand kid, the girls over there, we got treated really bad…if the guys got drunk, they didn't listen to you say no. There weren't many women and well, you had to be careful. So, I went nowhere without one of the other girls or Johnson after dark."

Ray Jay frowned and looked to Nico who nodded. "It's true, lots of guys were that way, not all but enough to make it really hard for the ladies in the military during the wars."

Ronnie continued. "So, got the new orders and we went into the villages after we rolled through. A bunch of us women, it was our job, they actually found a few more girls, and it was our job to talk to the women, see what they needed. Did they need clean water? Were the pumps broken? Did the kids need vaccines or medicine, did the women need healthcare? Because the men never thought to ask for help for the women. They wanted cars, guns, goats, seed, but the women and children could starve and they'd never ask the US for help with that. They just didn't put much priority on it. I liked the job, we were helping. It was good work. I felt good when I was done each night. Not like I shot at people, but like I helped someone." She smiled.

Nico frowned. "It sounds like a good program, so what went wrong?"

The sparkle left her eye and she frowned. "Sometimes the villages weren't as clear of rebels as we they were supposed to be and we fought. That was always a risk and we knew that. There was also the risk that the women or families would turn on us. We didn't take weapons into the houses most of the time. Everyone out of the house, our escort would search the house and then stand guard outside and then we and the women would go in and talk, then we'd suit back up outside the house again. It was an odd ritual, but it worked. But, it wasn't them that fucked shit up."

****Warning****

She paused and stared at the ground. "One night we got stranded on a bombed out road, stuck between two fire fights. We couldn't get to base, so we stayed the night where we were. It was me and another woman, Liz, with Johnson and four other guys. I woke to hear Liz struggling. I got up and found two of the guys holding her down while one raped her." She looked up. "I went ballistic. Screamed for Johnson who came to help me, but only was threatened to either shut me up or I'd end up like Liz."

Ray Jay looked away with tears in his eyes.

Nico reached for Ronnie's hand with his left. "What happened?"

"He tried to pull me back to our sleeping place, but I wouldn't let him. I called him a coward. Which he was, but he kept telling me I was going to get hurt…I couldn't let that happen to Liz. I'd been in her place before and I wasn't going to let her be there alone and let her think no one cared." She squeezed his hand. "I pulled my side arm, ran back and pointed it the head of the guy between Liz's legs. He was the squad leader, some stupid shitty Sergeant that thought he had all the power because of stripes on his shoulder. "

"Where was the fourth guy? You said there were four other guys…one's missing." Ray Jay asked quietly.

Ronnie laughed dryly. "Yea, I was so angry I didn't think about that when I ran back. Where was number four. Good call Ray Jay, you'd make a good military man. Four had already had his fun and was taking a piss. He came back about the time I had the gun to Sgt. Stupid's head. Then my gun was out of my hand, a gun was on Johnson and all I can say is Liz thanks me still for what I did for her. The rest of the night I was the toy, over and over and over again. They left Liz alone. Her and Johnson got handcuffed inside the Humvee." She looked at Nico, there were no tears on her face. Her voice was calm. "Those men were my brothers. They saved my life before and even after that. I reported them and I was told: This never happened."

"What?" Ray Jay stood so fast his chair flew backward into one of the pillars. "How can they say that? Liz? Johnson?"

Ronnie smiled and looked at him. "Both testified for me, but it's the Army kid. The fucking US Military. They make the rules, they write the history books. If they say it didn't happen, then it didn't happen." She squeezed Nico's hand. "I found out I was pregnant two months after that. I mean my cycles were all shit over there anyway, but when I started puking every day and I went to see the medic and she knew about my report of assault that wasn't assault, she did the test. I was floored. I was like no, no, no, no…can't fucking be. They shipped me home. I hired a lawyer. Nothing came of it. They discharged me medically."

"Abortion?" Nico asked quietly. "Did you consider it?"

She gave him a hard look and for the first time tears pooled in her eyes and she shook her head. "You haven't met Hugo. He's the best thing to ever, ever come into my life and that's the whole point of this damn story boss." She sniffed. "Something changed that night while I lay naked and bleeding in the sand. I stared up at those fucking foreign stars while men who up until that point I had considered brothers, fucked me with their cocks and whatever else they could find to shove inside my holes and I wanted to die, hell I prayed they'd kill me when they were done, or leave me there for the enemy to find so they'd finish the job." The tears ran down her cheeks. "They took away everything. I had no hope. They took away my pride. My identity, my strength, my belief that there were enough good men in the damn army…and world that shit like that wouldn't happen. They even took the family I'd created out of the military. I wanted to kill every one of them and then myself."

She wiped her eyes stubbornly. She didn't want to let them see her tears. She smiled and shook her head. "Fucking hate this shit. But once I found out there was a life growing inside of me something changed. Yes, I should have been disgusted. That night was disgusting. To me, sex with men, even before that night, was disgusting, but the fact that life came from something so horrible somehow brought me hope. It made me realize that there is something bigger and greater than me. Some people would think fate was cruel and that the baby would be a reminder of such a horrible thing to me for the rest of its life. People told me to give it up for adoption, but I couldn't. It needed protected and loved. I started thinking of it as a boy. A boy that needed raised right. A boy that needed taught how to treat women properly and not to look at them like they could be touched any time or handled rough or that sex was expected because you paid for a hotdog."

Ray Jay snorted.

Nico smiled and looked at him.

****END****

Ronnie shrugged. "I was pregnant, it was fucked, but I just couldn't let the baby go. He was part theirs, but completely mine and once I found out he was a boy, that sealed it completely. I was raising him as my own. I picked the name Hugo before he was born- strong in body, mind and spirit. I want him that way. Hell, he is that way." She laughed and her whole face lit up. "His middle name is Tomas. Tom was Johnson's first name. He tried to help the best he could. I don't hear from him much anymore, but I send him a card every year at Christmas. He's married and has a baby on the way."

Nico was quiet and he watched her, his thumb he noticed was tracing a kanji over the top of her hand and he stopped. He let her words work into his head, but it didn't really change how he felt.

She took a breath and watched his hand. "Strength. I know that one because it's over my heart. I had it put there after I got back." She looked up and found his eyes. "I'm glad you think so boss, but it's been a long road to find it, trust me and the ink's there to remind me."

Ray Jay cleared his throat. "Did you just forgive them? After they did that to you? I mean okay, you have a great kid, but they hurt you."

Ronnie looked at the kid and she saw the confusion and pain on his face. She knew most of it was for his sister, but she saw the genuine empathy for her own story and her respect for him and Dani's ability to raise a son the way she had increased. She gave him a sad smile. "I let the anger go." She shook her head. "Forgive, well that depends on what you define that as. I choose not to be angry. Those men went on to save many lives. Sgt. Idiot actually did some cool shit. I'm not saying he's a great man, but he did. He also sent me a letter of apology. He did not sign it, but he did include his stripes in it. I know who it was from. It meant a lot to me." She looked to Nico now. "The way I look at it is- what if they had been Court Martialed? They wouldn't have been there to save their fellow soldiers and many others would have died. All of those men were transferred to different units after the disciplinary hearing. They all moved quickly to places where they did the most good. None of that would have happened if that night didn't occur. I wouldn't have Hugo, I wouldn't have met Angie…I can't hold onto hate and anger when that one night of evil brought me goodness. Yes, it was bad, but I am where I am because of it and that I wouldn't change."

She took her hand from Nico. "Can you tell me you would change where you are boss? I know this is because of the past, but if that shit didn't go down exactly like it did over there would you be the man you are right now?" She paused, stood and moved to Ken. She looked down at him. She hated that he hurt Lindsay and the feelings he brought back up in her were raw. "He makes me feel those feelings again too. Helpless, worthless, less than nothing…" She kicked him in the kidney and spit on him. She looked between the two men with her and her gaze settled on Nico. "I hate it, but I don't let those things control me anymore. You're always in control boss, why are you letting this punk ass kid get to you? I know the rage wells up inside sometimes and the need to punch and hurt someone. That's when I hit the ring. I know the need for control is intense. I have ways of dealing with that and I know you use the ring too, so cut the bullshit and pull yourself together boss. This isn't gonna cut it."

Nico stood. Everything in him felt raw, like he'd been run over a cheese grater. She was right. Everything in his past had brought him to where he was. If certain things hadn't happened would he have Dani in his life? The thought of her not being there went through him like a fire at flashpoint. It seared his soul and almost brought him to his knees. It didn't make him want to kill Kenneth Ellis any less. It didn't make him any less angry or hurt, but it made him realize that if he did this that he'd lose everything he had.

There was a sound behind him and he turned. His right arm was up and his finger was on the trigger. His eyes found Dani's confused face about four feet away and he saw her eyes go wide in fear and surprise and then Ray Jay was between her and him.

"What the hell Nico? Put the fucking gun down." The kid was pissed and he pulled his mother into his arms and turned his back to Nico as he glared over his shoulder at the older man. "So help me I will knock you out if you don't."

Nico lowered his arm and safetied his weapon.

Dani shoved out of her son's arms. She glared up at him defiantly. "What the hell do you think you're doing Raymond James Santino Jr.?" She poked him in the center of his chest. "Don't you ever do that again." Then she moved around her son and marched toward the tall, dark man a few feet away. "And you, oh you…" She scowled at the Sig in his hand and then pointed at it in disgust. "I like you much better without that thing." She reached for it and took it from him and then handed it to Ronnie. "Thank heaven you didn't kill him or fire that thing at me or anyone else." She looked at Ken and ground her teeth.

"I hate him Nico, I know exactly what you feel and I told you about that feeling a while back." She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed. "But I need you in my life more than revenge." She looked up Nico. "Do you get that? You." She stepped into him and against him. "I want you. The police and the courts can have him. I need you with me and Lindsay and Ray Jay."

Nico stood still for a second, his arms down at his sides. He was still processing. He'd raised his gun at her. At Dani. No, he hadn't fired it, but his finger had curled around the trigger. He'd applied pressure, squeezed it. It wouldn't have taken much more and the gun would have gone off. He knew it. He'd been close. He would have hit her or Ray Jay. At that range the bullet may have gone through both of them depending on where it had hit. Probably not fatal, but he would have injured them. He never would have forgiven himself for that.

"Oh god Danielle…" His arms slid around her and he pulled her to his chest. He didn't say anything else. He couldn't, not with Ronnie and Ray Jay there.

Ronnie knew things weren't completely under control, but at least she had the Sig in her hand and Ken was still breathing. So, she nodded and moved to where he was on the floor. "Okay asshole, you survived. Aren't you a lucky piece of shit?" She yanked him to his feet. "Now, here's the deal. We're gonna play a game. This bullshit here never happened the way you think it happened. Do you understand me?"

Ken shook his head confused. "Huh?"

"Oh brother," she looked at Ray Jay. "He's not very smart, but okay let me explain it in simpler terms then. You were not kidnapped against your will. You were not assaulted. Nope, that is not what happened."

Ken's eyebrows pulled together. "It's not?"

"No kid. You tried to talk to Ray Jay here and you got beat up a bit when he defended himself. You were trying to talk him into telling his sister to back off. That's what happened right?" She brushed off his clothes some.

Ken nodded. "Um, okay and if I tell the truth?" A cocky tone crept into his voice.

Ronnie smiled. "Really? You want to play it that way?" She shook her head. "I know people in prison kid. Do you want to see my gang ink? I can pick what I want done. Let's see, do you want a big black cell mate that likes pretty little white boys? Or maybe a Chicano banger who just wants to whore you out for cigarettes because he's not into boys at all? But he'll gladly knock all your teeth out to make sure your blow jobs are the best on the cell block."

Ken swallowed hard. "You…you… wouldn't do that."

"Try me kid. I grew up in neighborhoods where you'd get rolled the first ten minutes you crossed into. Hell, I'd probably be one of the one's to roll you back then." She smiled. "So, you're gonna tell the cops exactly what I just told you." She motioned to Ray Jay. "Ray Jay's gonna report it like that too and then you're gonna confess to hurting Lindsay Santino, helping those boys drug her and all the other tapes and girls you hurt too." She slapped the back of his head. "You got that?"

He nodded and bit his lip to keep it from quivering. "Oh god…"

"You should have been praying a long time ago kid. Now, let's get the hell out of here."

Ronnie looked over her shoulder and nodded at Dani and Nico, who barely paid her any attention. She'd sent a message to Tommy. He was notifying the police for her. They would be meeting them.

Nico heard Ronnie and he watched the three of them leave. He saw that she'd tucked his Sig into the waistband of her jeans and it turned his stomach to think of what he might have done. "Danielle, I'm sorry."

She pulled back and looked up at him. She was crying, but more from relief. She wasn't angry, she'd been scared. She'd been so afraid that he'd cross a line she wouldn't be able to bring him back from. She reached up and cupped his face. She wiped the tears with her thumbs. "I love you. You're an idiot, but I love you."

He frowned and shook his head as his hand found one of hers and pressed it closer to his cheek. He kissed the palm. "I could have killed you Dani." He shivered and felt bile rise in his throat. "I brought that gun up on instinct and almost fired it. You don't know how close it was."

She was shaking her head even as he spoke. "But you didn't…you didn't." She looked around the room and took in the filth and the stained mattress. "Get me out of here please. I don't want to be here." She looked up at him. "Take me to your loft."

He wasn't sure that was a good idea. "Dani, I…"

"Nico, your loft." Her voice was quiet. "Please, you need to be there. A place you are surrounded by routines and things that calm you." She slid beside him. "My house is not that place."

"You calm me Dani. No matter where I am." He pressed a kiss to her hair.

She smiled and turned. "Please, it's what I need too."

He nodded then. "Lindsay?"

"Ray is with her. I called while I was stuck in traffic. Tommy said she was still sleeping when I checked in last."

"Are you sure?" He did want to be home again.

"Yes."

NRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNR

It was late when they arrived, so he ordered Thai food delivered and then decided on a shower while Dani waited for it. He didn't bother thinking about all the water he was wasting, which he usually did. He just enjoyed the heat and the steam. He enjoyed the feel of the soap and washcloth. He enjoyed the way it felt as if he was washing away everything he'd done. He sat on the bench and let the water beat down on his neck and upper back until Dani opened the door to the bathroom.

"Hey, the food is here." She stood by the glass doors and watched him. "You okay?"

He raised his head and then reached up and turned the water off. "Yes and no, but mostly I will be."

He stood and then took the towel she handed him when he opened the door and stepped onto the shower mat. He watched her watch him dry and then he wrapped the towel low on his hips and stalked to where she leaned against the sink. He flashed a cocky smile. "Enjoy the view?"

She blushed and nodded. "I always enjoy the view" Her hands settled on the towel and traced up his sides to his nipples where she played before her hands went around his neck. "The food?"

"Can wait a minute. I just want a kiss." He kissed her lips softly and she sighed against him. His tongue teased her lips open and slid inside. He didn't press her or even take control. This was pure seduction as one hand slid into her hair and pulled it free of the elastic band she'd pulled it back and up in and his other skimmed up her side to the curve of her left breast. He didn't so much caress the side of her breast as ghost over it and he felt her shiver in response. He massaged her scalp as he deepened the kiss when she asked him to with her body, stepping into him, pressing against him and pulling closer.

Dani was almost stunned that this was the man she'd made love to so many times recently. God, it was almost night and day, but not quite. She could feel his need vibrating underneath whatever he was doing and god what he was doing. His thumb brushed her nipple through her sweater and she moaned into his mouth. Her tongue slid along his and he tasted of mint and Nico. She nipped at his lips when his tongue retreated and he paused and pulled back with a moan of his own.

He pressed his forehead to hers and let his hands drift over her shoulders. He teased her breasts through the thin cashmere and the satin of her bra. "Danielle…" Her name fell like a prayer. "I need you so much, but…" He lifted his head from hers and found her eyes. "I want to talk to you. We need to talk."

She reached up and her hand slid into his wet hair. She shook her head. "Not now." She tried to pull his head back to hers. She wanted more of his mouth, but he wouldn't budge. "Please Nico." She found his eyes and asked him with those too. She pressed against him. He was hard against her belly. "You need me, I need you…"

He stepped back and cleared his throat. "Dani please, let me get something on. Let's eat." He left her in the bathroom.

She found him in the bedroom pulling on a pair of jeans. She sat on the bed and watched as he found a plain grey t-shirt and pulled it over his head and then ducked back into the bathroom. She was frowning when he came back out with his hair combed and smelling of his aftershave.

He held out his hand. "Hey, I didn't turn you down for prom." He pulled her up and into his arms. He pressed a kiss to her nose. "I didn't even turn you down for sex."

She hugged him and pressed her face into neck as she inhaled. "God, Lindsay is right. You smell so good." She just needed him. It wasn't the sex, it was the connection to him she needed. She craved it and without it she felt like something was missing between them. "It's not that. I just don't know what it is. Let's eat."

He nodded and tucked her under his arm as he pressed a kiss against her hair. He knew what the problem was. They needed to talk about what happened. It was between them. Dani knew this and she wanted to reconnect. Sex was the easy route, but it wouldn't solve the problem. "Get some plates. Do you want wine?"

Dani shook her head. No, she really didn't. "Do you have beer?"

Nico smiled. He did and he could go for some himself. He opened the fridge and pulled out two Stella Artois and then opened them with the opener from the drawer. He watched as Dani set the table and set out the food. He poured beer into glasses and then they sat down at the dining table to eat.

It was quiet at first and then Dani asked. "Were you really going to kill him?"

Nico fiddled with his chopsticks and then picked up more noodles. He chewed and then looked over at this woman he loved. He nodded. "Yes. I would have killed him." He watched her shiver and saw the dark disappointment flood her eyes. "I was stuck with a recording of my past failures. I didn't tie up loose ends, someone got hurt. The same thing happened with Lindsay and I wasn't about to let that happen again." He put his chopsticks down and took a drink.

"Then Ronnie and Ray Jay showed up and they reminded me about you. Ray Jay wants me in your life. He wants me around not just for you and Lindsay, but for him too. Ronnie considers me family." He looked at Dani. "That's more than I've had in a long time." He shook his head. "There was Marshall and maybe Juliette when I could work around Marshall and Gabrielle, but that was all."

Dani took his hand. "You know I never thought you were going to shoot me." She squinted at him. "I mean staring at a gun is scary, but it's you." She looked him dead in the eye. "I trust you with my life. There is no way you would have done that."

He swallowed hard. "I really almost did baby. You don't know how close I was and if that would have happened, I would have never forgiven myself." He held onto her hand for dear life.

She shook her head. "No. You saw me and you stopped. I saw it on your face. There was a moment when yes, and then it was gone. You're a soldier and your reflex was to protect yourself, but then your subconscious understood there was no threat before your conscious brain did and you had already started to stand down. You just didn't realize it because it took your brain that extra second to catch up, but the muscles had already relaxed, your finger was already moving off the trigger. Think about it. Tell me that isn't true?"

He tried to think, but he kept seeing it the same way. He shook his head. "I wasn't in control. I don't like losing control. It's not something I handle well. I was out of my element and I'm having trouble with focus right now."

She frowned. "We could do some light hypnosis and…"

He shook his head. "Absolutely not." He pulled his hand from hers. "I had a bad experience and I don't want to do it again." He picked up his glass and moved to the living room. He stared out the window. "I can't and I know you do good work Dani." He took a drink. "I've watched you, but I just can't do it."

Dani picked up their plates and scraped them into the trash before putting them in the dishwasher. She put the leftovers in the fridge and then set her glass on the counter before she moved to him. She slid her arms around him from behind and pressed her cheek to his back. "You don't have to. It was a suggestion and I'd never force you."

He turned and set his glass on the coffee table before pulling her against his chest. "I know." He rested his chin on the top of her head and just stayed there for several long minutes. "I'm afraid to lose control Dani. I'm terrified I'll do it again."

She leaned back and looked up at him from inside the circle of his arms. "You didn't quite lose control. You almost did, there's a difference."

He shook his head. "Not to me. It's the same. That anger's like a beast and it starting yawning when I found out about Juliette getting hurt, but it woke up when Lindsay got hurt. I refused to pay attention to it and I kept it in its cage; controlled it. But not tonight, tonight I let it push me. I let it have me." He searched her face. "With Ronnie's help and your help and Ray Jay's help, I pushed it back into its cage, but it's still in here Dani. It's still thrumming in my veins and under my skin. It knows it's awake and now that I fed it, it doesn't want to be put back to sleep."

A single tear ran down his cheek. "I don't know what to do."

"Shh." She pulled his head down to her shoulder and held him as she whispered quietly against his hair. "Shh. We will figure this out."

He held on to her and nodded into her shoulder. He breathed her in as if she were oxygen. He knew she was his savior. He knew that without her he was going to fail at putting the beast back in its box. He lifted his head. He looked at her he was desperate.

"Do you think the hypnosis would work?" He was scared. Hell he was terrified.

She pointed to the couch and waited until he moved and they both sat. "First, tell me what happened the time you had a bad experience."

He swallowed and leaned his head on the back of the couch to stare up at the ceiling. "Shit, it was after Marshall brought me home and I was a damn mess." He'd never told Dani about what happened, hell he never told anyone about what happened. "They wanted to know if I had revealed anything, I hadn't, but that didn't stop them from hypnotizing me and asking me over and over and then asking me what they did over and over and making me relive each fucking minute of it." He stopped when he felt Dani's hand on his cheek and heard his name.

"Nico, it's okay." She tilted his face to hers. "You aren't there and you're safe. You aren't under right now and I'm with you." She smiled at him.

He nodded and gripped her hand. "Yea, but you see what happened?"

"I do, and what they did was abusive and not what I'm going to do. That wasn't light hypnosis either. That was regressive and heavy." She brushed hair from his forehead. "I wouldn't do that. I just want you to see that you were in control. It wasn't that beast. It was you, my Nico. The man who loves me."

He nodded. "Okay, okay." He took a couple of deep breaths. "Let me get my head settled."

Dani watched him breathe and as he did some of the tension left his body. His head settled back onto the couch again, his shoulders slumped, his arms and hands opened.

He nodded with his eyes closed. "Okay."

"Breathe in and out and listen to the sound of my voice, slow and deep…" Dani guided him through the steps of her hypnosis and he followed her easily, she knew because he wanted to. If he didn't, there was no way Nico would be under. "You're standing in the room with the bed talking to Ronnie and Ray Jay, Ken is on the floor and then what happens?"

Nico's brows pulled together and he cocked his head. "I hear something. It's behind me so I turn. I bring up my weapon, it's my Navy Sig and my finger slides to the trigger automatically. Training kicks in even though I haven't carried since I came home."

"Who's there?" Dani asked the question, she knew the answer to.

"Dani, what the hell is she doing here? I'm not going to shoot her, but I scan behind her for threats because Ray Jay pulls her to cover her and it alarms me. Then she shoves Ray Jay out of the way, yells at him and then me, shoves my gun away. I'm stunned, she's so tiny but such a bossy thing. I want to turn her over my knee for scaring the piss out of me."

Dani wanted to laugh and slap him, but mostly laugh. "You'll remember everything you just told me and you'll wake up feeling refreshed and good about what you just learned. You weren't going to shoot me, you said that. You were looking for other threats. One, you're starting to wake up…two, you're more awake and feeling refreshed and energetic and three, you're awake and remember."

Nico blinked at the ceiling and then he smiled and blinked again. He lifted his head and stared at Danielle. "You scared the piss out of me."

She leaned closer to him. "And you want to turn me over your knee for it."

He smiled. "I don't really need an excuse for that."

"Seriously though, how do you feel?"

"Better. You were right. I wasn't going to fire the gun at you. Ray Jay spooked me into thinking there was an actual threat."

Dani nodded. "See."

He grabbed her and pulled her against him. His mouth found hers.

She kissed him, again surprised that he wasn't pushing and taking. She pulled back and looked at his eyes puzzled. "Are you okay?"

He smiled. "I want to make love to you Dani." He stood and pulled her into his arms. "I want to lay you down and make you breathless, I want to hear you scream my name when you cum." His hands found their way into her hair. "I want to touch and taste every inch of you." His hand moved down her back to her waist and then he pulled her sweater up. "Lift your arms baby." He waited until she did and he pulled it over her head and tossed it to the couch and then he added. "Tonight I need to let you know how much I love you, need you and thankful I am that you're in my life."

He kissed her quickly and smiled when she moaned sweetly for him.

She was confused when she looked at him, "Oh god, I love you so much."

He smiled, "Good." He took her hand and led her to his room. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her nose before he pivoted and sat on the bed, pulling her between his knees. He reached down to pull his t-shirt over his head and then tossed it to the floor, "I love you too baby." He said seriously, as he brushed Dani's hair across her shoulders and pulled her bra straps slightly down her arms, lowering the bra enough so that the top of the cups scraped against her nipples.

Nico watched her nipples harden and then he pulled her closer and ran his tongue across, first one then the other. He felt her grip his shoulders and then when he used his teeth to pull the bra lower she shivered, making small sounds in her throat. Nico pulled back and smiled. His hands slid along her sides to her back and he unclasped her bra to pull the straps down and off her arms. He ran his hands down her arms and then up her sides, stopping when his thumbs met the underside of her breasts. "God, you're beautiful," he whispered and watched her face as he brushed his thumbs over her already hardened nipples.

Her mouth fell open in a wordless, "Oh" that became a hiss when he bent his head to pull her right nipple into his mouth. Her hands found his hair and she arched into him as he teased her. He bit gently on a nipple, increasing the pressure until she groaned and pulled back, forcing him to let her go.

He smiled and brought his hand up to gently sooth the assaulted breast as he bent his head to the other one.

Dani moved to straddle him and lowered herself across his lap. When he raised his head from her breast she found his lips with her own and he groaned loudly when she started to move against his erection. She smiled when he tried to still her hips with his hands, and instead she gave him a gentle push and forced him backward onto the bed. She leaned over him, letting her hair create a curtain around his head and smiling down at him when he smiled as she moved her head side to side. Her hair dragged over his face and neck teasing him before she moved it back over her shoulder.

He chuckled. "Oh, you are so taking advantage of what I told you." He let his hands slide up her back and tease along the sides of her breasts.

She smiled down at him as she sat up. She bit her lip and nodded. "Did you think I wouldn't?" Her hands slid down his chest to the fly of his jeans and she raked her nails over his erection. When his fingers rolled her nipples she moaned and pressed into his palms. "Oh god, yes."

"Shit…" He thrust up against the sensation with a soft groan of anticipation. He watched as she undid the button and slid the zipper down. When she dragged her index finger across the tip causing him to shudder he thought he would die. "Dani, you're going to kill me."

"You say that all the time." She moaned and started stroking him. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are?" She asked as she watched herself stroke his cock.

His jeans were still half confining him and he wanted them off. He wanted her jeans off. He wanted her under him. He knew this wasn't how he wanted to get where they were going. He told her, he wanted to taste every inch of her. He reached for her hand, pulled it away from his cock.

"Come here," he whispered quietly as he pulled her gently down to lie across his chest. He pressed light kisses to the tip of each of her fingers. Then another kiss to the center of her palm before swirling his tongue in a slow circle, his eyes on Dani's the entire time.

Dani's breath caught in her throat. It was such a simple touch, yet it went directly to her very core. Her eyes drifted shut as his mouth continued to her wrist, again pausing to taste her with his tongue. He continued his way up her arm, with lips and tongue, occasionally the scrape of teeth and light touches from his fingertips. When he reached her shoulder, he rolled to his side, laying her face-up beside him.

"You still with me?" He asked, brushing her hair from her face and feathering light touches along her hairline to the shell of her ear, which he traced with his fingers.

Dani slowly opened her eyes and nodded. She was amazed yet again that he could make her feel so something so different. Her voice sounded thick when she answered, "My god, Nico that feels so good."

He gave her a cocky smile and bent to kiss her softly, "Do you want me to stop?" He asked lightly, even as his lips trailed across her eyelids and his tongue traced just behind her ear.

"Please don't." her words where barely a whisper as she moved her head toward his mouth. He smiled and feathered more kisses across her face; soft kisses to her cheeks, her nose and then the caress of his tongue across her lips.

Lips and tongue then trailed down the curve of her neck, small, light bites on her shoulder. Fingertips danced down her arms, and back up to play lightly over her breasts. Nico watched as her nipples peaked and begged for his mouth. He breathed barely there kisses around each one, a fingertip, a tongue. His tongue found each rib in turn. He paused at each freckle and mole, lightly touching, teasing, tasting. He marveled at each gasp and groan that she rewarded him with when he found a particularly sensitive spot. He knew those spots, he had them memorized and he was sure to hit every one of them.

He continued his path, blazing the trail with the delicate caress of his fingertips, barely there kisses and the moist wetness of his tongue. He spent time at her navel, enjoying the way she squirmed and sighed. Then his fingers found their way to the button of her jeans and he undid it slowly while running his fingers ever so softly under the waistband. He opened the zipper and paused to tease with his fingers and lips.

Dani was beginning to have a difficult time staying still. He had driven her mad with need. She felt as if every inch of her skin had a direct path to her clit. She moved her hips in frustration, feeling as if she'd never been this aroused before, but knowing that wasn't true. Shit this man always made her feel that way. But this time she was amazed by the fact that he had barely touched her in the places that usually begged for attention. He'd barely touched her in ways that recently got her hot. She opened her eyes to watch as he pulled her jeans down her legs and she couldn't help the deep moan when he smiled wickedly up at her as he knelt by her feet on the bed.

His fingernails lightly scored the tops of her feet and he watched her face as the sensation shot up her legs and her eyes drifted closed. He dragged his fingertips up her calves to her knees and then back down. He stretched out on the bed and pressed a kiss to her ankles before moving to press kisses up her legs. His tongue swirled and teased its way higher until he bent her knees and teased the soft underside of each, kissing and licking gently even as his fingers drifted higher.

Calloused fingertips traced lazy circles on the tops on Dani's thighs before fingernails left light tracks down the insides. When she moaned, low and deep in her throat, he smiled with potent male satisfaction, but continued moving, upward…closer and her desperate movement and soft sounds only increased. He could hear her soft panting when he reached her wet curls. He looked up at her. "What do you want baby?" He let his finger drift over her with barely there, soft as rain touches.

Dani's hands slid into his hair, "Nico…what you're doing to me…my god…please."

Nico leaned up and rained soft touches across her belly before drifting downward. "I know what I'm doing, I asked what you wanted?" He smiled up at her from between her legs and waited. He let one finger slide over her clit and down between her wet slit and then while she watched he tasted his finger. He moaned. It was pure torture. He wanted more. He was pressed himself against the bed in an attempt to relieve some of the ache. She was so beautiful. He watched her writhe on the bed. "Just say it Danielle and it's yours."

God she hated when he did this. She looked at him. "Please…go down on me, please I want your mouth on my pussy." Dani's drifted shut and her head fell back to the bed. But her eyes opened when Nico didn't touch her after several seconds. Her voice was heavy and she sounded confused, "What…Nico please?"

She caught his eyes. The emotion in them shocked her. It took her breath away. His vulnerability and the wonder and love she saw was something she didn't think she'd seen before. She pushed up on one elbow, gasped and then held out her hand to him.

He took it and leaned up to kiss her. He brushed his lips across her ear and whispered softly, "Shh, I love you:

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

He smiled when Dani moaned his name just before he kissed her, biting her bottom lip gently, before he sat back on his knees. He used the back of his hand traced down over each breast and lower. He teased between her legs and then back up to her hip before he bent to kiss each hip. He ran his tongue down to where her curls began, but he didn't give her what she wanted, not yet. Not even when she whimpered and her hips lifted toward his mouth.

He shifted, moved to lie between her legs again and he almost moaned when her soft whimper turned to a moan and she gripped his comforter as he breathed out against her wetness. He slid his hands beneath her ass to lift her into a better position and then finally as he watched her face, he lowered his mouth to her. He used his tongue to dart out, and he barely touched her. Then he pressed a soft kiss where her thigh met her labia, tongue and lips, soft and feathery.

When her hands found his hair and she groaned loudly, "Please, Nico…please…" he finally gave in and lowered his mouth to her clit. She arched against him as he pulled her swollen clit into his mouth and gently suckled. His tongue teased, trailing down and inside her, tasting and tormenting while pushing her closer and closer to the edge. He used his tongue to flick over her clit over and over and then he pulled on it, teased and flicked before fucking her with his tongue again.

Nico was lost. Her small, desperate sounds and the taste of her on his tongue were almost more than he could handle. He ground himself against the bed and answered her moan with his own. He needed her badly. Teasing her had aroused him as much as it had her. His thumbs spread her open and his tongue ran her length, pushing her closer. He shifted his hands and eased a finger inside her. He fucked her with it to the rhythm of his tongue on her clit. He felt the slight quiver in her thighs and he knew she was close. He felt her pulse around his finger and he listened as her breathing changed. He knew what to look for, he knew the way she bit her lip and arched her neck and he smiled as suddenly she was there, falling over the edge, gripping his hair and calling his name.

He continued stroking her slowly, letting her come down. He dragged his tongue slowly over her a few more times before raising his head to look up at her. He smiled. "You look like Onyx does when leave my cereal bowl on the counter and answer the phone."

She purred and stretched as she reached for him. "Mmm, but I want to be scratched too." She snuggled against Nico's chest as he slid up beside her. She raked her nails over his nipples. "Oh my god that was just…oh my god."

He tilted her head to his and kissed her. His mouth and tongue taking their time with hers as his teeth nipped and tongues danced and fought. Their lips pressed and the came apart. It started slow and lazy, but it escalated quickly and he moaned, rolled and pressed himself against her belly. "Dani…I am wearing too many clothes." He laughed, it was her line and since his jeans were open, but still on he thought it appropriate.

She giggled and started pushing the denim down his hips. "I agree. Off, get them off." When he lifted his hips and she pulled them down she continued. "Mm, much better." She ran her hands up his legs and took a hold of him. She watched his face while she stroked him. She bent over him and licked the tip, her tongue swirling around and around.

Nico watched her and moaned. He knew she was going to and she didn't disappoint him because it was exactly what he wanted her to do as well. She held him at the base and let her tongue slide over the underside back and forth and then around as she bobbed up and down and then sucked hard as she took him deep. She did this for as long as he could stand it and then he moaned and pulled her up. "Stop baby…god you have to." He gripped the base of his cock and prayed for control. This woman was threatening it. She did that to him. This was a different kind. He smiled, god that would be humiliating.

Dani was straddling him and giving him a look. "What baby? Condoms are in the drawer." He pointed.

She cocked an eyebrow and leaned down to kiss him. Then kissed to his ear. "I'm on the pill, I'm clean. I hate those fucking things?" She sat back up and waited. "It's up to you, I can show you test results if you…"

He moved so fast she made a funny noise. She was straddling him one second and then the next thing she knew she was underneath him and he was inside her. "Fuck." He pulled out completely and slid back inside slow and deep. "Fuck." He pressed his forehead to hers and smiled. Then he kissed her. "I love you so much." He moved then, a steady in and out.

Dani giggled. "Oh my god…" She arched up under him and gripped his shoulders as she moved with him. "I love you too." Her nails raked down his back and she moaned when increased his pace and shifted one of his knees to change his angle. "Oh…fuck yes…"

Nico wasn't going to be able to hold out. He was close, but he knew Dani was also. He slid a hand between them and stroked her. He felt her tense around him and she moaned. "That's it baby, come on Dani…I need you to cum."

She panted and strained with him. She was close and she felt his desperation. She could see it on his face, feel it in the way he was moving. She grabbed his arms. "Oh...shit, oh…" He knew exactly how to touch and where to touch…she moaned and then her hands slid to her breasts and she rolled her nipples as he played her clit.

He smiled and fucked into her, harder, faster. He watched her pull her nipples and he pressed against her pubic bone and he saw her face, felt her clamp around him.

"Yes…fuck, don't stop…right there." Dani fell apart, flew and she gasped and moaned as Nico pounded into her to catch up.

It didn't take him long. Four or five more strokes and he emptied himself deep inside her. He moaned loudly, her name whispered and then he collapsed on top of her. He panted, then pressed a kiss to her cheek before just rolling them both to the side.

Dani lay there and wondered. She wondered what all this meant. She didn't know for sure, but tonight meant something. Something between them changed or was about to. She wish she knew exactly what that change was.