The Pack
Disclaimer: I really don't own, come on guys!
Chapter 25
When I woke up this morning, I almost wished I didn't wake up. With a sigh, I stood and looked to my bed. Zack and Xigbar were still there.
I wanted so badly to be warmed by their presence… but I was numb. I really couldn't feel anything. It was like I didn't care anymore.
But I knew that, more than anything, I really did care… It tore me to shreds to know that I wouldn't ever be the same with Squall again.
Squall…
'SQUALL!' I thought and closed my eyes tightly as I thought of nothing but him.
Nothing… there was no response.
I shook my head and moved to the bathroom to take a shower. I was going to go to school no matter what. I had missed so much of it already and now that my parents have accepted me, I want to do well in school for them.
I washed myself quickly and moved back to my room to change my clothes. Zack was the first to wake up out of the two on my bed.
"I can finally understand why you humans sleep on beds… they are so nice…" Zack said and stretched happily across the bed. In the process of doing this, Zack woke Xigbar with a nudge.
Xigbar seemed to smile at his mate before turning to me. "How are you feeling?" Xigbar asked.
"Do you want the honest truth?" I asked and Zack nodded.
"I feel… empty… like there's absolutely nothing inside of me and I can't bring myself to cry about it anymore… I know that deep down I'm really upset about what's happening… but I feel like I don't care at least not at this moment. I don't really feel anything right now." I said and buckled my pants before bending down to tie my shoes.
"Cloud…" Xigbar and Zack said together.
"Don't worry about it… If Squall and I weren't meant to be…" I trailed off after that thought.
The words that came out of my mouth hit me like a truck and I found myself running to the bathroom to puke my guts out.
I couldn't accept that… Squall and I HAD to be together… I don't care if my bond with him is gone… I won't leave his side. I vowed that I wouldn't and I would rather die a million deaths than break that promise.
I wretched over the toilet and I shivered when Zack put a hand on my shoulder. "I hate seeing you like this." Zack said.
"I'm gonna be fine… I have to be." I said bravely, trying to convince myself mostly.
"Are you sure you want to go to school?" Xigbar asked.
"Yeah, you guys go… you should probably leave out the window. I'll see you guys after school." I said and they nuzzled me gently before leaving.
I walked to the living room to see my Mom give me a concerned look. "Are you feeling better today, Cloud?" She asked.
"Yeah, I feel much better after emptying my stomach." I said.
"I think you should stay home." My mother said and put a hand to my forehead. I smiled at her concern and took a step away from her hand.
"I'm okay, I'll be back later. Tell Dad I said good morning when he finally wakes up." I said and left the house.
When I finally got to school… I highly regretted my decision to come to school. I suddenly felt sluggish and achy all over. I sighed and moved to my first period English class. It was an okay class, I guess… it's just that…
"Hey Cloud!" John yelled.
It's just that.
"Hi." I said simply and sat at my desk. I was not in the mood for humoring this kid with conversation. Jon sat in the desk next to me and smiled.
"You don't look so good, dude. Bad breakfast?" he asked with a laugh.
"I don't think that's funny." I said and turned away from him.
"I was only joking! Cloud, c'mon! Are you really okay? I'm being serious now." He asked.
"No… I feel like shit. I regret coming here…" I said honestly and relaxed when the bell rang and he'd have to shut up for the beginning of class.
By lunch I was kind of having a hard time functioning. I just felt really hot and I'm pretty sure I was shivering like it was freezing cold.
I didn't want to eat anything, I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.
"Maybe you should go home… you look like you have a fever." John said and put a hand to my forehead only to retract it quickly. "Definitely a fever. You really shouldn't be here, man! You could hurt yourself." He said.
"I don't care, I just want to finish the rest of the day. I'm already here so I might as well finish." I said and closed my eyes. I couldn't really see anything anyway. My vision was really fucking me up.
At the end of the day, I was so happy to be out of school but I could barely find my way out of the building. The people in the hallway were so loud it completely disoriented me and I couldn't figure out where I was going.
When I finally made it out of the building I took in the fresh air but it didn't really help.
"Dude, I don't feel comfortable letting you walk home alone. You might get hit by a car or something. I saw you leave the building, you can't even walk straight!" John said and I shook my head.
"Just leave me alone." I said in a huff. I was hit with a sudden shortness of breath.
"Cloud! Seriously!" John exclaimed.
"LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?" I yelled and then my legs gave out from under me and I felt my body heading for the ground.
I couldn't feel it when my body hit the unforgiving concrete. In fact, I couldn't really feel anything. I couldn't even tell if I was breathing. I could see a blurry version of John yelling something at me but I couldn't hear him.
Then I was lifted. The blurry John figure stepped away and I watched as I was carried off. Who was holding me? Where was I being taken?
-The Pack-
Squall's POV (While Cloud is at school)
Something wasn't right. Yesterday, Cloud seemed so upset but my body kept telling me everything was fine, that he was happy.
That's how it feels inside me now… like Cloud is having a wonderful day and hasn't been bothered by anything. Cloud isn't particularly the happiest guy on the earth, he can be a bit gloomy sometimes and it's very peculiar to have no emotional fluctuations during his day.
I usually feel them… but I only felt happiness coming from him. It couldn't be right.
Cloud… I waited for an answer but received only silence.
CLOUD! I thought of Cloud and only Cloud with every ounce of me. There was nothing…
I wanted to talk to Xemnas about it, but I think he was already suspicious of what was happening. Xigbar and Zack were gone all night yesterday… and the only place they could have been was at Cloud's.
Something was wrong with Cloud and I couldn't feel it. And that… well, that scares me.
I frowned when I was hit by a sharp scent. I looked at Larxene who was circling me with a smoldering stare.
Larxene, your advances towards me are futile. Please douse your scent. I said before getting up to see about getting some information from Zack.
Squall… you shouldn't cut yourself short. A proud wolf like yourself shouldn't steep so low as to mate with someone so inferior. You know that I would be a much better alternative. Yuu could have a real family… we could make a family… don't you want a real family, Squall? Larxene stalked even closer to me.
I growled. I already have a real family. Don't annoy me. I replied.
Fine then… Hayner, would you like another hunting lesson? Larxene asked her son.
Yeah! He yipped happily.
And what about you, Yuu? Would you like one too? Larxene asked and I felt my blood boil.
I stood in front of my son and growled lowly. His name is Zell and he is too young to learn hunting. You should know better than to try and corrupt my son.
Don't you tell me how to take care of my child! I'm taking him whether you like it or not! Larxene snapped before calming. Why don't you come along to watch… make sure I don't misbehave? Larxene's wolfish grin looked devious.
He scent hit me again and I huffed before grunting. Zell and I will only observe. I relented and looked back at my son. You are a year too young to learn about hunting. But when the time comes, I will teach you properly. I said.
Zell nuzzled his snout against my front leg. Okay… but when is mommy coming back? He doesn't seem to be feeling good. Zell asked.
I resisted the urge to whimper at his thoughts. Why couldn't I tell that he was feeling unwell? He should be back this afternoon. I supplied before we set off after Larxene and Hayner.
Zell and I watched as Larxene helped her son find tracks and learn about them and his senses. Hayner was a smart pup, he was extremely competent and focused. I admired that in a young boy.
They followed the tracks silently until they had finally come across their prey. I paused at the smell of the animal.
Or should I say, animals.
Larxene was just about ready to unleash Hayner on the unsuspecting opossum mother and her three younglings hiding away in her pouch.
I growled. Didn't Larxene want to find more suitable prey? To kill this mother and her young mould put a dent in the order of things. She was going to let Hayner kill not one opossum, but four. Three of which could grow to produce more food for the future.
Stop this. I ordered.
What? Larxene's voice sounded annoyed.
This isn't the way Loup Garou hunt. You're teaching your son to be nothing more than a wild dog. Where's your pride? There are three others with that mother and to kill them could upset the chain.
What are you talking about? Hayner asked curiously and I growled.
Did you not teach him any of the laws? You are unfit to teach your son… you soil the sanctity of our ways. I said and Hayner looked to his mother.
The opossum had long discovered our presence and had scurried away. Larxene snalred and lunged at me angrily. Don't tell me anything about pride! When you've had your entire pack destroyed by humans and then been enslaved for nothing more than human entertainment, you can have the right to tell me something! There's no such thing a wolf pride when reduced to nothing, And until you have endured that, you have no right to judge.
I wanted to punish her for her insolence but I was hit by a wave of passivity. It wasn't worth it to argue with her, I needed to save my energy.
I bowed my head. You're right. I apologize for judging. But you are no longer being enslaved and therefore should try re-finding your lost dignity… and see about allowing your son to gain his. Don't deprive him of this… he's only a pup. Zell and I however will be leaving. I said and Zell trotted after me.
Do I have wolf pride, Dad? Zell asked as we walked.
No, but you will. I'll make sure of it. Pride isn't something you are born with, it's something you earn, and once earned must be handled with care. A wolf spends a lifetime maintaining their pride. But it's something that separates us from those too naïve to see the worldview, the ways of life. I explained.
What is pride? Zell asked.
It cannot be defined in words but will make itself known to you and you'll feel what it is. It's an important part of the growing process for Loup Garou. When you are no longer a pup, you'll feel it and will be able to indentify it in others. I explained.
I want to have a pride like yours… Zell seemed to be off in his thoughts unaware that I was still listening.
I leaned down and nuzzled his neck and released a low rumble in my throat. Zell yipped softly in reply and we continued to walk.
That is until I collapsed to the ground at the pain I felt in my stomach. I panted at the pain that began to spread through me. It felt as though someone was tugging on my insides, causing a searing hot pain to flow through me.
Dad! Momma! Zell whimpered.
That's when I turned my focus to my ears despite my pain. I could hear Xigbar's panicked voice and the sound of Zack whimpering Cloud's name.
Was there something happening to him? I had to help him. I needed to get to Cloud. With a determined growl, I stood slowly. The pain increasing tri-fold. My pants turned to whines and I forced my paws forward. I wouldn't let my mate suffer alone. He needed me… and I needed him.
I looked at Zell who gave me an encouraging look. I managed to lick his snout before I set off running. I tried my hardest to fuel the pain I was feeling towards the movement of my legs, but when there was a vice grip on my lungs and heart, I fell and slid into the clearing in a heap.
I looked over to see everyone surrounding Cloud with concerned looks on their faces. He seemed to be convulsing on the ground.
With a snarl I managed to get my front legs to move. I whined when pain over took me as I dragged myself over to my beloved. With one final pull, I was next to Cloud and I whined loudly as the pain thrashed over and over but I laid firmly against my mate, I wanted him to know that I was here and that no matter what happens.
I wouldn't leave.
A/N: Sorry about yet another slightly depressing half-way cliffhanger ending... but things will turn out alright I promise. Next chapter should be out soon... probably this weekend. Then you will finally see what is going on! REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!